hi guys. Thanks for all the birthday messages and the reviews! Here's the next chapter for you. As always I own nothing :) xx
Chapter Twenty-Three
The L word
It had been the most awkward five hours of my life so far. And that was saying something. We'd been following Sam's trail, urged on by both Ash and Bobby who were ringing us with updates and directions. Dean was driving like a mad man, his jaw clentched tight, his fists white against the steering wheel, silence prevelant through-out. Not even music kept us company.
"I need to pee." I finally blurted out after holding my bladder for the last hour, too worried about invoking another heart to heart or Deans anger to speak up until it was critical.
"Can't it wait?" Dean snapped at me, his voice a rough velvety growl that had my insides twisting in a deliciously bad way.
"Not unless you want the leather stained." I replied, actually crossing my legs now.
Dean sighed, a deep pissed off sigh but pulled over a mile down the road at a gas stop. "Be quick." He barked at me as I left the car almost hopping.
I resisted the urge to flip him off and instead almost ran into the small shop that acompanied the pumps.
"I need to use the restroom." I basically screamed at the man behind the counter.
"They're only for customers." The man replied sounding bored.
"I'll buy something then, just please let me use the toilet." I said, jiggling a bit on the spot.
The man passed me a key and pointed to a door in the far wall. Without so much as a thank you I ran to the toilet.
Five minutes later and with a bag full of junk food that I didn't want, I was back in the car with Dean. I'd had that horrid feeling of being watched again as I made my way across the short distance from the shop to the Impala. "Took you're time didn't you?" He barked at me.
"And for that comment you're not getting any of this lovely pie I brought." I smirked as I pulled out a cherry pie. Deans favourite.
"I'm not hungry." Dean said back. The situation must have been dire. "Bobby rang, Sam's at some high rate hotel down in Alliance."
"How long till we get there?" I asked equally serious, putting the pie away as well. My hunger had suddenly dissappeared.
"Don't make me get out a journal again sweetheart!" Dean said with a smile, a trip down memory lane that I wasn't so sure I wanted to take.
We lapsed back into silence, Deans foot going down further on the gas. His driving almost as insane as mine was when I was trying to reach him and Sam.
"You ever feel like you're being watched sometimes?" I asked, worried about that feeling, worried as my instincts told me that it wasn't something good.
"When I'm being watched, then yeah." Dean said back, shooting me a look before turning back to the road. "Why?"
"Back at the station, when I was walking back to the car I felt like I was being watched." I told Dean, a hunting problem we could safely speak about.
Dean cleared his throat awkwardly. "Yeah, well I may have been.. Er..."
I cut over him with an eye roll. "We're you also watching me back at Bobby's when we split off? Cause I felt the same thing then. And dude it's not admiring glances. The hairs on the back of my neck stood on end."
"I didn't see anything, didn't feel anything either, you're probably just being paronoid B." Dean told me.
"Yeah, yeah. I guess you're right." I replied, it bothered me still, but if Dean thought that I was being paronoid then I was almost certain he was right. Dean was an excellent hunter, and I trusted him and Sam with that aspect of my life above anyone else.
"Looks like this is it sweetheart." Dean said, glancing up at the large building we'd parked in front of only half an hour later.
"So what, we go in?" I asked, a little hesitant. I didn't know what to expect or what we were going to do now.
"No B, we're just gonna sit out here and wait for Sammy to come out and join us of his own free will." Dean replied sarcastically.
"No need to be rude." I said while pulling out a clip for my gun, a knife and a pair of handcuffs from my bag.
"When did you get handcuffs sweetheart?" Dean asked me with raised eyebrows and a smirk that had my traitorous blush spreading across my cheeks.
"Iron handcuffs coated in silver, got 'um after the shifter back in Louisianna." I replied, refusing to take the bait that had been so carefully laid.
Together we made our way out of the car and to the huge building that was way more opulant than anything we'd stayed in recently. Or ever.
Stepping inside the hotel I was hit by blocks of colour and chintz, way too garish for my fancy, poofy furniture dotted around the hectic room. Glancing at it all gave me one hell of a headache. "I think we've found the only room in the world that would've made Leberachie say, 'whoa, step back. No-one's that gay!'" I told Dean as I sheilded my eyes from the glare of the room.
Dean gave a half smile before heading straight for the stairs. I was right behind him, stopping only to flash my F.B.I badge at the recepionist who tried to stop us. As soon as he saw the badge his eyes went round and he took a protective step back round his desk.
"Where we going?" I panted as we took the stairs two at a time.
"The honeymoon suit." Dean glanced breifly over his shoulder at me before he carried on running.
"Of course we are." I moaned as we ran up the next flight of stairs. Top floor, great.
Seven flights of stairs later and we were stood breathlessly outside of the honeymoon suit. Room 613.
"Stay out here, if Sammy comes out before me.." Dean trailed off looking stressed and angry beyond belife. I just nodded at him and took a fighting stance as Dean picked the lock and walked into the room.
I stood, on edge and on guard for five minutes, listening to the disturbing sounds of fighting and arguing coming from inside the room. The noises were muffled and faint but still unmistakable.
The door swung open and I was ready, my senses on high alert, my arms up at my face ready if I needed to be.
Ruby came out of the room looking scared, her eyes flashing black as she saw me. "Well, well cherry pie. Nice to see you again but I gotta go. Dean and Sammy are in there working it out, I'm sure that they could use your imput." Ruby tried to get passed me but I pushed her hard against the wall, my hand at her throat and my other going for a knife.
"Why don't you stick around till the treaty's signed Ruby?" I asked brandishing my knife at her throat as well. I was pretty sure that she was behind all of this, and as such I wasn't letting her go until the brothers told me too. Or Dean did anyway.
"You know what? Don't think I will." Ruby said while bringing her knee up straight into my stomach, I lent forward a little, pain sharp in my gut, but I quickly gained my equilbrium and stood upright. I sent a left hook at her face followed by an uppercut. Both conected and sent the demons staggering backwards.
She came at me again, and I felt her send a shovel punch to my kidneys. It hurt, it hurt like hell, it hurt so bad that I fell to the floor breathless. Ruby grinned at me, her eyes shining black once more before she turned on her heel and strutted out of the corridor.
My hand went to my ribs, trying to work out if anything was broken or not. I encountered something I really wasn't expecting and which made me feel slightly dizzy. The handle of a knife. The bitch had stabbed me. Shit.
My mind went blank. Despite all the first aid I'd learnt I didn't know what to do, whether it was bad or not. Did I leave the knife in? Yank it out? What?
Just as I leant further against the wall my hands wrapped round the handle and ready to pull it out the door swung open. Sam stood there, his face an angry frown, his face bruised, his lip split. He looked just like himself, just more angry than normal. His eyes lit upon me, bulging in surprise. His lips turning down and his eyes sad as he saw the knife sticking out of my side.
"Bells!" He sounded concerned and upset. Exactly how he would have before, had he really changed that much?
"Hey Sammy. How you doing?" I asked Sam with a pained chuckle, my breath was becoming more shallow now, the pain increasing and my eye sight blurring slightly.
"Oh Bells." Sam said, his eyes sofening as he bent down over me.
"I think Ruby got me good this time." I whispered with a smile, trying to keep the mood light despite needing immediate and urgent medical attention.
"What did you do?" Sam asked me, his voice hard now.
"What? I just tried to stop her running away." I gasped as Sam stood back up, his face dispassionate as he looked down at me. "Sammy why did you leave me?" I asked as I felt blood rushing steadily down my side. I wasn't sure if I'd ever get the chance to ask this question again, or any other for that matter.
"Because you're no good for him Bells, and he's no good for you. We're hunters and I told him, you'd just get yourself killed if you hung around. And look. I was right. I'm sorry Bells." Sam said, turning his back on me and walking away.
"Sam?" I gasped out, I couldn't believe that Sam had just turned his back on me, while I was by his own admission, dying. "Dean!?" I called out louder as Sam dissapeared, if Sam had gone where was Dean and was he ok?
I tried to move to the room, but every slight movement sent my vision more blurry, the pain more intense. "Dean!" I shouted louder, the effort draining me of more strength.
"I'm ok B, I'll be there in a second." Dean called back, his voice sounding as though he was shedding tears. What had happened in there?
"Erm... D?" I called, my voice hardly getting up the volume needed.
"I'm coming." Dean muttered, his voice no louder than my own.
Blackness was steadily clouding my vision, black spots dancing before my eyes. Breathing was hard now. Hard and painful.
My eyes started closing, but I didn't want to go to sleep just yet. I wanted to see Dean once more, I fought the sleep with everything I had. The blackness faded slightly, a dull, dark grey now which was fighting with me. But I fought back.
I heard Deans heavy and slow footsteps coming ever closer to me.
"Shit! Bella!" Deans voice came from a long way away. "B, sweetheart, open your eyes!" He ordered me. I hadn't even realised they were closing.
I opened them with great difficulty. "Hey D." I croaked out with a small tired smile.
"B! C'mon B, stay awake for me!" Deans face was panicked, his eyes swimming as he looked at my knife wound.
"Dean." I breathed out, the smile still on my face. I didn't care anymore, didn't mind that he didn't want me. I didn't have a future, I could feel it. The blackness wasn't sleep, it was the end. "Dean... I love you." I whispered, my eyes starting to fall.
"B, B, Bella, open your eyes damn it! B! Bella!" I could hear him crying, I wanted to stop it, wanted him to feel as peacful as I was starting too, but I couldn't find the energy anymore. "I love you Bella. I love you. Don't leave me. Please. Please. Don't leave me."
The blackness claimed me, the peace taking over and whisking me away.
~0~
I woke up in a light white room, it was spacious and fairly nice. There was a huge table in the middle with beers and cheeseburgers on. This must have been heaven. At least I'd made it to heaven. Maybe I'd be able to finally see my mother and Phil again?
"B!?" A voice gasped out, it sounded both happy and shocked at the same time.
I turned my head to see Dean stood across the other side of the room from me. "Dean?" I asked with a frown. No. No. No. He couldn't be. How?
"Oh god! Bella!" Dean rushed out, tears dripping down his handsome face as he ran to me. He swept me up in his arms, his hands tangling in my hair, tears leaking down my own face as I held him back just as hard.
"D, how did you get here? What happened?" I asked, pulling away ever so slightly, my heart breaking a new. This man, his time shouldn't have been up, he hadn't even had a chance yet. And he deserved a chance. A chance at happiness for once. He was owed that much.
"The angles they brought me here." Dean whispered pulling me back to him and showering the top of my head with kisses. I could feel the salt water dripping into my hair, he still hadn't stopped crying.
"We're in heaven then?" I asked with a sigh. The angels owed him so much more than this.
"No sweetheart, not heaven, more like a waiting room." Dean said, his hands cupping my face and stroking the sides of my mouth where it turned down into a frown.
"Oh crap, have I gotta go through all that St. Paul stuff? Why should I be allowed into heaven? All that bullshit? Because if I do I'm not so sure I'm gonna get in." I asked Dean who seemed way more caught up than I was and I'd been here longer I assumed.
"B, you're not dead." Dean beamed those words out, kissing my forehead after each word. His voice almost laughing he seemed so happy.
"I must be. I felt myself die. I felt that. And my side, it doesn't even sting now." I said reaching for my knife wound and only finding smooth unblemished skin. "Oh crap, am I in a coma or something? Because that one would definatly suck."
"Cas brought you back sweetheart, he brought you back." Dean breathed out, kissing my forehead once more.
"You mean, I'm not dead? And neither are you?" I asked, hoping beyond all doubt that he was telling me the truth.
"No, we're not dead sweetheart." Dean said, cupping my face once more and staring into my eyes. "I thought... I thought I'd lost you B." Tears sprung to his beautiful eyes once more. "Don't ever do that to me again sweetheart! Don't ever leave me again." Dean said before his eyes softened even more. "I love you Bella."
My heart skipped a couple of beats, emotion swelling my chest so much that it almost hurt. These were the words I'd been waiting to hear for months, and I could hear the sincerity ringing true behind everyone of them. He meant it. He did. And I loved him. With every fiber of my being. But love wasn't enough, love wasn't going to keep him by my side.
"Then why did you leave?" I asked gently. I wanted to forget that, to put the past to rest, to tell Dean just how much I cared as well and then hold him and never let go. But I couldn't, I couldn't let myself be hurt like that again. The pain was worse than dying, something I knew first hand now.
"Sam..." Dean sighed but didn't let go of my face, didn't stop looking into my eyes. "He said that with you here I was weak, and so were you. That I was bad for you and that I'd only end up getting you killed. Look how right he was there. He told me that your dad was there and I should just let you go so that you could be happy. That you'd never be truly happy with me."
"I was happy with you. I loved you Dean." I told the man softly.
"Loved me?" Dean asked, his hands slipping away from me, his posture slumping and his mask snapping back into place.
"I love you, you idiot! But Dean you broke my heart..." I trailed off lost. Words started spouting out of my mouth without me thinking about them. Dean had that effect on me. "Maybe if Sam had said that I was no good for you, that I'd have got you killed I'd have left too... I don't know. And I don't know if those three little words are gonna fix everything. I want them too, I want them too so bad. But I just don't know."
Dean looked at me with a small crease on his forehead. His eyes watching my lips as I spoke. When I finished speaking Dean didn't say a word. He just took my face back into his hands and brought his lips crashing down to mine.
His hand wrapped gently round the nape of my neck, his tongue licked my lips, my hands grabbed his arms and I was pulling him closer to me. I opened my mouth letting my tongue tangle with his. The kiss deepened, his hands tangling in my hair, I stood on my tiptoes wanting every inch of me to touch him, to feel him. My skin sung, my heart started beating again, I was alive again, after almost two weeks I was living again.
"Well, well. I'm glad to see you two are getting along again." A voice issued out from behind us making us both whirl round to face it. An older man with thinning white hair, shinning blue eyes and a smug smile on his face was stood next to Cas. An angel. One of the real douche bags. "Ahh... Young love. It's beautiful really." The man carried on as we faced him.
"And you are... A pervert?" I bit out, instantly alert as Dean's body went into lock down. Great. This wasn't going to be good.
The older man chuckled, a horrid sound that had the hairs standing on end at the back of my neck. This was not what I'd been led to believe angels were like. "She's funny. I can see what you like about her Dean. No I'm not a pervert. My name is Zachariach."
"Well hi. Now where the hell are we and how do we get out?" I asked again, seeing as how Dean was going all silent and tight jawed on me, which told me that we were deep in the lions den and we smelled good.
"You don't. Well not yet anyway. And if you don't take a cival tongue young lady you won't ever. We brought you back from the dead, we can sure send you back." Threats now. Nice.
"When do we get out then? Cause I gotta find my brother." Dean asked, his voice pissed but calculating. He was asking this specific question for a reason, he'd obviously seen something I hadn't.
"Don't worry, we know exactly where Sam is." Zachariaha told us with another of his smug smiles. "He's breaking the final seal." My blood ran cold as I realised just what the angel meant.
"No, he's not. I know he's gone a little odd. But he wouldn't do that, not ever." I told the angel, meaning every word. Sam would never unlease Lucifier on the world, no matter what.
"Even after what you saw, what he did, you still don't think he'd do it?" Zach asked me with raised eyebrows. "He left you to die without a look backwards and yet you're still defending him? You're more forgiving than most Bella." The douche was actually smiling.
"What!?" Dean asked, looking at me then the angel with narrowed, angry eyes.
"Sam, saw Bella dying, didn't help her, just walked away." Zach said with the air of someone who really couldn't have cared less. "Anyway, you're right Bella. He wouldn't break the final seal. He thinks he's stopping it. Lillith is the final seal. Her blood will release satan amongst us."
"He left you to die!" Dean asked me looking even more angry, his eyes telling me he didn't quite want to believe it.
"More important things right now D, end of the worlds slightly more important." I told him while jerking my head towards Zach and Cas, who'd so far not said a word, just stood looking helpless and worried.
"So let us stop him!" I bit out at the angel.
"Yeah, you see the thing is, we don't want you to stop him. A fights coming and we think that we've got a shot. That we're gonna win." Zach explained to Dean and me with another of his creepy smiles.
"Then what!?" Dean asked, his stress levels at an all time high.
"Then, you have peace on earth Dean. Heaven on earth." Well that sounded... Boring.
"Let me get this straight, you're going to unleash Lucifer so you can have peace on earth. That about right?" I asked Zach who smiled and nodded at me in response. "Hmmm... Fighting for peace. Bit of an oxymoron there."
"Hang on!" Dean said, his voice rising with his anger. "You said that I was brought up from hell to stop this, to stop Lucifer!"
"And you were, when he's here, you'll be the one to stop him Dean." Zach told the man, his eyes shining with aparent happiness. This was one sick dude.
"No dice! I want to go be with Sam, now!" Dean shouted, his voice as hard as ever.
"And you will be. After this is all done." Zach smiled again before vansihing in front of our eyes with Cas.
Dean sagged, but still looked furious. I wanted to go and hold him, to tell him everything was going to be ok and all that other bullshit. But I couldn't, because I wasn't so sure it would be ok. So instead I got proactive.
There were no doors in this room that I now realised was a cell, but the walls can't have been made of steel. So I grabbed a chair and threw it against the wall, thinking that if I could just make a hole, even a small one then I could tear the wall down piece by piece and we could get to Sam. Of course the chair broke into pieces and the wall was left undamaged.
I dug out my cell, maybe if I could call someone? Maybe Ash could track us down and get us out of here or even Bobby. There was no reception. I'd started getting angry now. We were being used like pieces in a game of chess!
I kicked the wall, with all the force I had. My kick was normally hard enough to smash through oak doors since I'd learnt how to kick properly. But it did nothing against the wall except for hurt my foot.
"We gotta get out of here!" I growled channeling the force of Bobby.
"We're in an angel panic room B, we're not gonna get out till they let us out." I spun round to see Dean sitting in one of the chairs with his head in his hands.
"We've got out of tighter spots." I said, refusing to give up.
"When?" Dean asked me looking up at me with a snide little smile on his face.
I struggled to think of an example. "Okay, we haven't, but you've never given up before, is this really the time to start? Just before the apocalypse?" I asked, my voice hard and impassioned.
"You mean now, when my brother has gone all evil on us, who walked past someone he conisdered as close as family while she was dying and not even try to help her. Now when he's listening to a demon instead of me. Now seems like the perfect time to give up to me sweetheart." Dean told me, his whole body spelling out defeat.
"That's crap! So Sam made a few crappy decisions, who hasn't? And anyway just because Sam's a little on the dark side, who says he can't be saved. Not only that but you're not on your own, you're not the only one gonna be fighting, for him and for every other poor bastard out there that's gonna be hurt by this!" I believed everyword I was saying.
"Sam's right sweetheart." Dean told me with a smirk.
"Huh? About what?"
"You are dramatic." Dean smiled widly at me before standing up with a sigh. "But your right. I guess. Any ideas on how we're gonna get outta here?"
"Erm... Wait for a mirical?" I suggested with a wry smile and a shrug. I was all out of ideas.
"Funny." Dean said while rolling his eyes at me.
"Thanks I try." I smiled as I inspected the walls closely, looking for any imperfections or weaknesses, it looked flawless to me but I still wasn't going to give up. Not yet. Not till I'd tried everything. "Hey D? Why did the angels bring me back? Why not just leave me dead? Then they wouldn't have to worry about Eve getting her vessel and messing up their war of the worlds massacre." I asked what had been niggling me since Zach had brought it up. I obviously wasn't important to them, and heaven knew I wasn't exactly worth bringing back from the dead; no pun intended.
"Maybe they thought that you were worth bringing back B?" Dean said, but he avoided my eyes and his voice held a hint of bullshit.
"And the other reason?" I asked while folding my arms, a trace of irony audible.
Dean sighed and faced me once more. Ahh, he was gonna tell me the truth now. "Cas told Zach that I wouldn't do anything, be of any use if you were dead. That I'd just give up."
"We all gotta die sometime, if I do -again- you can't just give up. You know that right?" I asked Dean softly while taking a step towards him.
He held his hands us and frowned at me slightly. "Hey! They were Cas' words, not mine sweetheart."
I smirked at him and went back to the walls. "Too late now D. You've already told me you love me!"
"Well that's gonna..." Deans words were cut off by the silent arrival of Cas who looked urgent and worried. Not a great look to see on an Angel who normally showed no emotion what so ever.
So I'm hoping you guys enjoyed this chapter. Tell me what you think either way :) I've joined Facebook finally so if anyone wants to add me it's nina tametiger Simpson. Until next time, love always tametiger xx