After just two days, life had become intolerable. Finnan was as cold and distant as ever, and the slow warmth of friendship developing between Ailith and Halla was irrevocably shattered. Halla was in agony, and there was no one to talk to. Everyone living in the manor—save Ailith—regarded her with polite indifference, following Finnan's commands and saving fellowship for their own families and friends in the village. Ailith looked at Halla as if she was an insect crawling over the supper plate. And Maukurz… where was he now? Halla could quite feel him pining for her, his face hidden in shadow and his eyes watching the trail for a sight of her that never came. Yet every time Halla longed to go to him, she felt horribly wicked, and inevitably Ailith's cold, knowing gaze settled upon her, reminding her of just why she ought to forget Maukurz forever.
The harvest began, the villagers pulling in the bulk of Lord Birchleigh's crop before attending to the little strips of land they were permitted to lease from him. Taking the advice of older landowners, Finnan rode out to make his presence known, to oversee tallies, to show off the pack of mercenary soldiers he'd hired to give a good show of force at his first harvest as lord and master.
That afternoon, he'd taken his dinner quickly, leaving Halla alone at the table with Edwyn, who as a pampered young son of an extraordinary house seemed to have no other peace-time purpose than idylling in pleasure. Watching Halla scrape her food around listlessly, not touching a bite, he took the large jug of wine and his silver chalice, and moved down the table to sit beside her. He filled her own cup to the brim, and after taking a deep-throated sip, he murmured, "You know, if I didn't have it on such good authority that you were a lady of unimpeachable character, I might suspect you were pining for a lover."
Halla looked up fearfully, hating what an open book her face must be.
"It's all right, sweeting. There are many judges in this world, and likely more in the next. But happily, I am not one of them. And since I myself am damned seven times before breakfast…"
"You belong to him," Halla said quietly.
Edwyn made a sympathetic face. "I don't betray the secrets of ladies, Halla. And certainly never the secrets of beautiful ladies! Besides, I can't stand to see you so unhappy. You are casting a pall of misery over the entire household, and it sets my teeth on edge. Now… can I assume he's someone horrendously socially inappropriate? Someone low and common, and roguishly handsome?"
Halla couldn't help smiling a little, even though there were fresh tears in her eyes.
Edwyn grinned knowingly. "Ah, that's ever the case, is it not? You might be surprised to know it darling, but you're not the first, nor the last, lonely noblewoman to take up a little outdoor sport with, shall we say, a colorful character. So, has he left you, or you he? Drink up, honey, this might take a while."
"What might take a while?" Halla asked, sipping her wine and utterly grateful for Edwyn's kindness.
"Why, putting a true smile on those luscious lips of yours, of course! You are built for pleasure, darling, anyone with knowing eyes can see that. It is my duty to restore you to your natural state."
Halla grimaced. "Does everyone… suspect me? Of… of a lover?"
Edwyn eyed her carefully, turning serious. "No. Not anymore, that is. For a while there, your husband was in a frenzy that you'd do something stupid and ruin his reputation. But two months have passed, and there are no bawdy songs sung of you in the mead halls, so he rests content. It's your discretion he values most, you know. Appearances are everything for those of us who dance to different tunes."
You've no idea, Edwyn, Halla thought. She said, "I've no wish to shame my lord. Or anyone. Least of all myself."
"There's no shame in love, Halla; again, so long as you are discrete. Who can be the judge of what makes another's heart sing?"
"I think a good many people would be," Halla said, drinking a little deeper.
"Well that is why you don't ever let them find out! But short of that… these people are not between the sheets with you at night, so to speak. In a perfect world, who delights you wouldn't be any of their concern. So don't let it trouble you, what others might think of whoever he is that brought such a charming flush to your cheeks."
Halla closed her eyes and drew a deep, hard breath. "Edwyn… I'm not admitting anything…"
"Of course not," he offered.
"But… what if… he… if there was such a he… What if he'd done awful things?"
"To you?" Edwyn asked, frowning in concern, making Halla wonder if there was any expression at all that wouldn't be marvelously beautiful on Edwyn's face.
"No, of course not! But what if… during war…"
Edwyn narrowed his eyes. "A warrior, how interesting... I won't ask, I've no desire to reveal him. That would put me in an uncomfortable place with Finnan, having a name. But on this mystery warrior's behalf, I might say that battle takes the soldier into some very dark places. If he has disburdened his conscience with you, well, I might call him a fool for doing so, but if he has… You must understand one thing: there is only one purpose to war, and that is the complete slaughter of enemies. Whatever needs to be done to accomplish that is done, and a good deal many more things as well, so that we might put terror in their hearts. And it isn't thought of at the time. Many of us never think of it again."
Halla sighed, shaking her head. "What of warriors… who… who enjoy those dark things? He is not a soldier of Rohan, so you know… and he fought for someone else, not for his own land. He has nothing at all to call his own."
"Are you in danger, Halla?" Edwyn asked softly. "Is this warrior dark with you?"
"No," she said certainly. "Never. This… friend… he would never… Oh, Edwyn, he is wonderful with me! Which makes it all the worse. How can I be so happy with him, if he has such blood on his hands?"
Edwyn sighed. "Not one of Finnan's new mercenaries…"
Halla shook her head tightly.
"Good, that. A coarse, oafish bunch, they are. Not the type to make a lady of your caliber swoon! But may I ask, is he still in the service of this lord he fought for?"
"Not at all," Halla said. "He all but repudiates him. And those things he did. Though… I don't know how much of that is for my benefit. He survives now as a hunter. He will not go to war again."
"Then I think, perhaps, you must listen to your heart, and forgive your friend his past. It seems he is trying to put it behind him as well. But let me warn you… It is not a fair world, Halla. We Men rarely pay when we play in gardens unlawful. But you, a noblewoman… If you were to turn up pregnant, and there is no doubt that it is not Finnan's child, I'm not quite sure what he would do. He's a good Man, in his way, but there is a coldness to him that even troubles me. And he will kill for his honor; that much I know. My best advice to you would be to do what countless in your place have done: keep your lover, but keep him at arm's length, and be certain he will hold his tongue about bedding Lady Birchleigh. Your life counts on it. And give no one any reason to talk. Unless you lie with your husband near the same time as you lie with this one, so that your husband wouldn't doubt that it was his, never ever get pregnant. And if you do fall for a child in such circumstances, find someone who knows how to fix it, or if you cannot do that, then disappear, and forfeit your name before you forfeit your life."
Halla nodded, sighing heavily. Edwyn had helped her, but she'd no doubt even he would react with disgust if he found out just who Maukurz was. And Halla wasn't sure that Maukurz had so much given up his old ways, or just ran out of opportunities to continue them. There was so much she still didn't understand about him. Which was why she knew she absolutely had to see him again.
"Edwyn, why are you doing this? You are Finnan's lover, yet you help me? Are you not angry with me?"
Edwyn sighed. "I told you why: I don't like to see you miserable. And I don't happen to think it's fair… how my relationship with your husband intrudes on your happiness. Between the two of us, I watched my father do the same thing to my mother for years, and her broken heart killed her. I hated him for it, and I swore I'd never mistreat any woman… and I wind up, in a great part, becoming him, watching you. Call this my penance."
Halla regarded Edwyn curiously. He shrugged lightly, refusing to be saddened by past memories.
"Now for that smile," Edwyn teased. "I think I shall take my own most ghastly inappropriate love on an extra-long hunt this afternoon. And then perhaps over to our favorite tavern for a nice supper. I likely won't return him to you until… oh, tomorrow mid-day at least? You'll just have to find some way to amuse yourself…"
"Thank you, Edwyn," Halla murmured, amazed and grateful.
"My pleasure, beauty. And when I see you tomorrow, you must be dazzling and utterly satiated, or I will be most cross with you."
Halla laughed finally, and Edwyn nodded curtly, his goal accomplished. He then stood and left the hall.
Halla didn't waste a moment. Ailith was taking her part of the day cooking pies and selling them to the loggers and their families along with her ale. If Halla was gone when she came back, Ailith could know nothing for certain. Within the hour, Halla was mounted on her horse, galloping around the outskirts of the camp, seeking another path into the forest. She had no idea how she'd find Maukurz; she couldn't remember the way to his hide-out if her life depended on it. She had to trust that he would find her.
She also had to swallow her anger. Fifty Men were taking down several trees each day. The cleared area was starting to travel up the mountainside. How far did Finnan intend on going? Would he strip the entire mountain in his greed? Halla couldn't even be sure how far her property went up the rise; during the War, all of it had belonged to Isengard. Perhaps it was Rohan's now, perhaps it was the new King Elessar's wood. Either way, what wasn't building up Birchleigh was floating sawed down the river, and then transported for sale to Edoras and likely beyond.
Once well away from the little mountainside village and the laboring Men, Halla turned Silverfire into the woods, her strong colt jumping hurdles of jammed up fallen stones and logs packed between the trees from some long ago winter's avalanche. Once deep into the forest Halla had to slow to a walk, picking her way through brambles and ducking low to avoid hanging branches. After a good long while of rough, slow, uphill travel, Halla finally emerged on the trail she recognized, though she was a great ways north of the place she'd found Maukurz. She reined her colt to a halt and sat with her hand on her hip, wondering what to do next.
Figuring there was nothing to do but go up, Halla legged her horse on, trotting briskly until the colt began to fuss. Ears flicking back, snorting the wind, and chomping on the bit, Silverfire worked himself up towards shying and bolting. Halla's heart lifted, knowing that Maukurz must be close. She dismounted and tied her horse off the trail, continuing up the trail on foot, looking around eagerly. From somewhere behind her, twigs snapped under heavy feet. Halla turned around.
She promptly came face to face with two hard-eyed Uruk-hai, with Maukurz nowhere in sight.
After a moment, Halla recognized them: the one who'd called Maukurz… Iron-Cock, a name Halla would never forget, and the one who Maukurz had smacked upside the head. But knowing their faces was no guarantee of safety, and Halla stood frozen and wide-eyed on the trail.
"You the Cap'n's little girl, right?" the dark brown one asked her. Something that looked a lot like a handful of dead half-eaten squirrels hung at his side. Halla just stared, frightened.
"Yeah… that's her," the other one, tall and lanky, said, shaking his head. "Damn."
"Got nothing on her, fuckwit. Come on, lil girl, we'd better take yuh to him. Dunno what lurks in the woods… or what types of weird shit they do."
"You liked it," the lanky one mocked, striding down the trail. He looked back over his shoulder at Halla. "Comin'?"
Halla shook her head tightly.
The one with the squirrels came closer, and Halla backed away. He grinned at her and said, "Yuh know yer boy, right? What yuh think he'd do to us, we roughed yuh up?"
"He would tear you to pieces," Halla breathed.
"Just so," the Uruk said with a cheerful bob of his head. "Same as he's kick our asses plenty if we failed to get yuh to 'im. He's been our Cap'n for nigh two years now. So have pity on us, eh? Follow behind if yuh like."
"My horse won't follow you. How far away is he?"
"Circlin' a ways south!" called the lanky one, who had impressive hearing. "Says he's huntin', but he's lookin for you."
Halla felt her body tighten with excitement.
"Huhn!" the brown Uruk grunted, shaking his head as he caught her scent. "Lucky bast— Look, I'll go get him. You stay with Narzum. A nice, good ways away from Narzum."
"I won't touch big brother's sharlob!" Narzum shouted.
"All the same, lil girl, keep back," the brown one said to Halla, and then he went bounding down the trail. He stopped for a minute by Narzum. " 'member peaches? That raid before we got fucked up at the Fords? That first catch?"
"Yeah…" Narzum said, grinning.
"Think hot, soft, happy peaches, just beggin' to be ate up. I'd keep 'er downwind, if I were you."
Narzum sighed heavily, and sat down on a fallen log.
Halla returned to Silverfire, stroking his neck softly. "I shouldn't have brought you," she murmured. "Maybe I shouldn't be here…"
Yet at the same time, she could hardly wait to see him. Her heart was pounding, her belly warm. She kept looking down the trail to the Uruk peeling sticks on a log. I wonder if… No, Halla thought. I will ask Maukurz about that. And I'll try not to be shocked. Either way, unless this was some elaborate trap for her, the other Uruks seemed to hold Maukurz in something like high esteem. And apparently, he was their Captain in the War, and his authority held still, even through a broken leg. It spoke highly of him in some ways… and terrified Halla in others.
And then she saw him coming. Halla left Silverfire and began walking down the trail. Maukurz was solemn-faced coming towards her. His mouth was wet—with blood, looked like—which he wiped away with the back of his hand. His bow and quiver were on his back. A wind carried her scent down the trail, and Maukurz picked up his pace. Suddenly, all of Halla's reservations melted away and she ran for him.
Halla jumped into Maukurz's arms, crying, knowing that she never wanted to push him away again. He held her tightly, breathing her in. "You're not mad at me anymore?" he murmured.
"No…" Halla whispered. "I want to talk to you, but I'm not mad at you. I love you, Maukurz. I know that now."
He sighed heavily, savoring the moment. Then he set her down. He looked over her head, to where Nurzum and Dagalur were standing together, grinning like idiots. "Yes, thank you, get the fuck out of here now! Come on, Halla," he said, lowering his voice for her alone. "There's a nice place close by, far enough off the trail where we'll be safe… I need you…"
She had almost melted into his embrace. Now Halla drew herself back, her body humming already with thoughts of what he might do this time. She smiled brilliantly at Maukurz. "Let's go."