Being an FBI agent to Emily had always meant to bring her work at home too, using a bit of her free time to investigate more and more on the dynamics of the situations, and her previous partners had always done it too. When someone was busy or just wanted to have some free time, the other one took care of the case and vice versa. With Cal it was different, she didn't thought about the fact that they usually were busy together when they started this kind of "relationship" two weeks before, which brought them to never find something new since they examined the case only at work and spent the majority of their free time together. She had been to a bar a few days before, after coming home from his apartment. Usually she couldn't wait to get home to wash his cologne away from her skin but she was starting to get used to it, it wasn't really bothering her that much anymore; so she went to grab a high quality drink to a bar near her apartment. Not that she didn't like the Vodka she had at home, or the Tequila her dad gifted her from one of his travels, but she just needed a good cocktail.
"Can I buy you a drink?" a man asked, getting closer to her seat.
He was tall, brown eyes and blond hair, he was hot, she couldn't deny it, but she wasn't in the mood. Cal had definitely made her really tired and she was there for something else.
"I am already drinking, thanks" she denied, why couldn't she just drink in peace?
"Can I offer you something else at my place?" he insisted and she rolled her eyes, sipping her drink from the straw.
"Listen, I'm just here for a drink" she pointed out.
"Are you taken?" the man asked, seeing her refusal.
"Yes" liar, you're not.
"Kind of..." she corrected herself, thinking about it.
You're not taken Emily, you're just fucking your partner, that wasn't a relationship, she was the one who had pointed it out many times. It was just two consensual adults spending their free time together having sex. Nothing more.
"If you're not taken then I can take you" he tased, getting closer.
In any other occasion she would have found his flirting hot and maybe even flirted back, but there was something in his voice that just didn't click. It wasn't Cal's, that's the first answer that came into her mind but she blamed her drink, and maybe the fact that they had been together before she came there.
"I'm sorry, I should go" she got up, taking her jacket and heading toward the exit, walking back to her apartment.
She got into the shower, cleaning her skin and her hair. As she closed her eyes she run her fingers through her hair and her mind went back to Cal. She imagined her fingers replaced by his, running through her wet hair, softly stroking it and her eyes opened in shock, what was she thinking? The hot water running on her body made her breathless, she had to lay her forehead against the cold and foggy glass and lower the temperature of the shower in order to push those thoughts away.
She cuddled in her bed, trying to sleep, but his cologne hit her nostrils again. In the last two days she had just given in to his presence in her life. She used to change the covers every time he had left her apartment, wash every blanket he laid on and open the windows to let that fucking scent leave her house but somehow it wasn't bothering her anymore like it did before. She blamed the work, they had been through some exhausting days, trying to find a lead which didn't came, so she was too tired to take care of her house too almost every night. She closed her eyes, making herself comfortable on her bed and trying to sleep, was it bigger than she remembered? She shook her head, she was just tired.
Luckily that morning they found something, a crack in the case. They had tracked down a person that was operating in Moldova with his group of people, his name was Nightwatch. They didn't know what to do though, they didn't have any jurisdiction in Moldova and it looked like they couldn't find further infos. She suggested talking to Gunnarsen, even if she didn't actually liked her, she was the only one who could help them.
Julienne suggested Cal to go undercover in the foreign country, after all, he was the one who started to investigate the case first, but he had other plans. He asked to take Emily with him, "I trust her instincts" that's how he explained his suggestion, but she knew it wasn't his main reason. She looked at him from the chair she was sat in and their eyes locked, sending a shiver on her back. It would have been a long travel. They all agreed at Cal's request and she had to admit she was glad, somehow thinking he would have been away for days, maybe weeks, sent her crazy. She actually didn't really know why. They spent some more minutes with Julienne, who tried to explain everything to them, all they could and couldn't do while away, telling them they should take a flight as soon as possible and giving them their new identities.
They got out of the room and she quickly grabbed his arm, making him follow her in the break room that was now empty.
"Trust her instincts? Is that a new way to say you followed your dick?" she whispered, getting closer to him.
Even if no one knew what they did in their free time and they tried so hard to hide it, the way they always got closer while talking would have raised a lot of attention from anyone.
"I just thought it would have been a good idea to investigate together. Our... personal activities have nothing to do with my respect for you and your work. I honestly think you're an amazing agent and you're a great partner, that's why I asked for you to come with me" he looked into her eyes and suddenly she felt her hear sank. He had told her a lot of times she was hot and sexy, but it was the first time he admired her wit and she smiled shyly at him, looking away and breaking their eye contact.
"Ok, are we gonna leave tonight or tomorrow morning?" she asked, crossing her arms on her chest.
"I'm gonna go home and pack, what if I pick you up in a few hours?" he suggested, looking at his watch.
"Sure" she nodded and they both left the room.
It didn't take her too long to pack, twenty three minutes. She had to play the role of a rich woman so she brought with her the most expensive clothes she had, which weren't a lot. She threw herself on the bed and she took the few hours she had left to relax; she set an alarm just in case and she closed her eyes.
A sudden noise woke her up, it wasn't her alarm though, it was a loud knocking on the door. She checked her phone, she had slept just fifteen minutes and she decided to see who it was, in order to sleep again.
"Hey, I have already finished packing and I thought we could leave earlier, maybe we can grab a coffee on our way there" he explained, entering her apartment in order to help her with the suitcase that he spotted in the hallway.
"Oh, a coffee uh?" she questioned, raising her eyebrow.
"Yeah, or... whatever you want" he answered turning back and getting closer.
"Mmh... whatever I want?" her hands found his tie and she pulled it lightly, to make him step a bit closer to her in order to touch him better.
"I'm opened to suggestions" his hand laid against the door, trapping her between the wood and his body.
She locked the door behind her, making her intentions clear. The soft material of his tie ran beneath her fingers until she reached the top part, untucking it.
"Is that an invitation to tie you up?" he whispered darkly as he looked into her eyes.
"Maybe not today" she answered teasingly.
She took the hem of his tie, freeing herself from him and leading him towards her bedroom. She was about to turn around to open the door when he jumped on her, pinning her against the hard wood and picking her up. Her hands found the collar of his shirt and she kissed him hard, sucking and biting his lips as she tried to reach for the door's knob. He wasn't expecting it, as the door opened his balance failed him and he tried to take the few steps to the bed as fast as he could before falling. He managed to flip them, letting her lend on top of him. They looked into each other's eyes for a moment and as soon as they both made sure they were ok she started laughing, laying her head on his shoulder.
"Your balance sucks" she chuckled as he flipped them over.
"Maybe if you didn't open the door without warning me" he pointed out chuckling too.
She looked up at him, finding his green eyes in the dim light of the room, she found them magnetic, they were one of the features she liked the most about him. She realized she had been a fool to have never looked at them while they had sex. That needed to change, that time she would. Her fingers found the buttons of his shirt as her lips sought his. She really liked how they just needed a second to go from looking into each other's eyes in a soft way to make sure they were both ok, to make out like their lives depended on it. It was like their bodies were made for each others, attracted together by some kind of magnetisms that she couldn't quite explain and she swore she would have thrown away his fucking cologne as soon as she could because it was too intense, at least from the moment they started this strange kind of relationship, she had never noticed it before.
Their clothes found the floor and she flipped them, positioning herself on top of him. She bent over a bit to reach her nightstand to pull out a condom and he took the opportunity to bring himself into a sitting position and suck one of her nipples into his mouth, rolling it with his warm tongue as he squeezed her ass, making her moan softly. As he put on the protection he looked up at her naked on top of him. Her hair were already a mess and they were landing on her naked shoulders, her hazel eyes shined in the dark and her lips were parted and puffy from the make out session they had before, she looked like a vision. As she sank down on him their eyes never parted, kept locked by this new force that they both were discovering in that moment and that somehow made things between them even hotter.
With their eyes locked she positioned her hands on his shoulders to gain stability before starting to ride him. She set a rhythm , fast and deep, like she always did. He had always liked how surely she moved on top of him, pleasuring herself and pleasuring him, because he would be a liar if he said that the vision of her doing it didn't turn him on. He had always watched her, he couldn't deny it, but she never noticed. She was used to close her eyes as soon as he started kissing her just to open them after her climax, but that day it was different. Her eyes were looking down at him and she moaned when his hands found her waist, helping her to keep her rhythm.
He felt her walls contract around him and she threw her head back, interrupting their eye contact before letting herself fall on his chest. Her head landed on his shoulder as her hand stroked his neck softly. He kept pushing into her with the same speed she set before and he felt her body shiver, their naked and sweaty bodies rubbed together and her breath quickened.
"Cal" she panted his name against his neck and something inside of him clicked.
She had never said his name during sex, not even once. She had always tried to avoid both his eyes and his name, like he was some kind of unnamed partner in her dreams; but now reality was hitting her. Having her eyes opened helped her understand that he wasn't some kind of random person, he wouldn't just disappear when their alone time ended; he was there and he had always been. Never kissing him again once they finished having sex, not saying his name and avoid cuddling, didn't make him magically disappear.
He wrapped his arms around her, matching her movements and speeding up. Her mouth was panting on his neck, leaving some wet open mouthed kisses every now and then. He felt her body tremble as the climax hit her and he hugged her even tighter, following her pleasure with his own. He kissed the top of her head as his hands started tracing random patterns on her naked back. It was good, it was really good. She closed her eyes and she breathed him in, they had to go and she needed to take a shower.
"We should leave" she pointed out.
"We should" he echoed, but he didn't move.
She didn't want to move neither, but: firstly, she knew that they had to go, it was their work after all and they couldn't lose any more time; secondly, if she would have started cuddling there would be no turning back and she would definitely have fallen asleep. She brought herself into a sitting position, covering her body with the bed sheets, suddenly the room was colder and she shivered. He got out of the covers, sitting on the edge of the bed, giving his back to her.
Her eyes laid on his shoulder, she could now see the long horizontal scar clearly. It looked like he had been stabbed and she would have liked to ask, but she didn't. He turned around, catching her staring at him, but he didn't questioned.
"You can take a shower if you want, I'm gonna shower after you" she suggested, she thought he definitely would have liked to wash himself due to the sweat on both their skin.
"Thank you" he answered, looking at her.
They were used to get up and get dressed quickly after sex, she had never waited that long to take her clothes and he had never seen her like this. She was covering herself with the blanket, like he had never seen her naked, her cheeks were flushed and her lips parted. She was staring at him and her eyes followed his figure as he stood up. It looked like she wanted to say something but she didn't, so he left the room to go to the bathroom and take a quick shower. He would have dealt with her scent on his body until they got to Moldova since the only shampoo and shower gel he could use were hers. He had never thought that some vanilla shampoo would fit his hair, but somehow it did.
She wanted to kiss him, she would have liked to cup his face and kiss his lips but she didn't. She couldn't. It was in those moments she wished she would be enough for him, to have no problem in having a normal relationship; but she knew they just wouldn't work. She wasn't ready for this, her PTSD was still there; things were getting a bit better, she couldn't deny it, but it wasn't still good enough. Plus, if he had agreed to that kind of relationship it was because he didn't want anything serious neither and she was sure that if she would have started kissing him she wouldn't have stopped and she would have ruined them. But still she was sure he didn't want to. Was she making up too many excuses? Blaming everything and everyone but herself? She wasn't.
Once again, they didn't talk. They didn't talk when he got out of the shower and she got in, not a word as they reached his car and went at the airport; the night flight was quiet, making their silence less awkward and soon it was replaced by sleep. What she didn't know and she would have discovered it once they landed, was that she fell asleep on his shoulder.