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Will The Real Eggsy Please Stand Up

At his boss's orders Harry found himself sitting in the back of the car with 'Eggsy', the young man sitting directly behind Arthur in the vehicle. A position none of them cared for, naturally, but the alternatives were directly behind Merlin-who was driving and vulnerable to attack-or put him in the front passenger, which was equally dangerous. So they were stuck with their present seating arrangements, and Harry spent the car ride watching Eggsy like a hawk, prepared to defend or attack at a moment's notice. Something Eggsy was obviously very aware of. The looks Harry was getting made it clear how irritating the younger man found the attention, but Harry just stared right back, unmoved.

While also thinking in the back of his mind that it wasn't exactly a hardship to give Eggsy his complete and total attention. A thought that was quickly followed by the mental observation that thinking that was a thought he really, really shouldn't be having in his head. Especially on the slight, impossible, could not possibly be true chance that the attractive young man sitting beside him was in fact Eggsy Unwin. Time traveler.

But he'd give whoever had cooked up this scheme credit. They had done an amazing job setting everyone up with all the clues and-it couldn't be real. This could not be happening. Time travel was not possible and this boy was just a very, very good actor.

An actor who, during the entire car ride when he wasn't giving Harry dark looks, kept looking out the window and observing the scenery like his life depended on it. Pretending to recognize certain landmarks and shops, only to suddenly frown and seem confused, craning his neck and sometimes looking at Harry questioningly. Looking at him like he wanted to ask how long that something had been there before thinking better of it.

They could not get to Kingsman fast enough in Harry's opinion.

There was recognition in the boy's eyes when they arrived at their destination, Eggsy's eyes noticeably brightening and his posture straightening up at the sight of the shop. As soon as they pulled up in front of it the boy was reaching for the door handle to let himself out, though of course it didn't work as Merlin had locked it to prevent Eggsy from escaping that way until they were good and ready for him to.

"Child lock? Seriously?" Was Eggsy's disgruntled reaction to that discovery.

"You can get out in a minute." Harry informed him, ignoring the look he got yet again before he exited the vehicle and walked around to open Eggsy's door himself while his boss and Merlin did the same.

Once the other two men were clear Harry opened the door and offered his hand again, Eggsy very deliberately ignoring it this time as he slid out and continued to clutch his case to him like a lifeline.

To Harry he looked a lot like a cranky toddler who had been reminded it was time to go to bed and didn't want to leave his toys behind. A pouting man should not be that adorable.

Merlin held the shop door open for his father, then continued to hold it open as Harry went through first, followed by Eggsy. Merlin came in after, so all of them were present to see Eggsy looking around the shop with interest, then zero in on Thomas who had come out from the back room and into view. Their head tailor didn't seem to recognize Eggsy...but Eggsy recognized him, calling Thomas by name. Though there was a hint of confusion in the boy's voice, a tilt to his head that suggested something about Thomas wasn't quite right to him.

"Good evening. Sirs." Thomas added, inclining his head at Harry and the other members of Kingsman.

"Nobody seems to know me." The boy grumbled as he crossed his arms and looked off to the side pensively, obviously put out that Thomas obviously didn't recognize him either. He really was starting to resemble a very large toddler in need of a cuddle and nap.

He should not be thinking about cuddling him.

"You can close up the shop as per usual, Thomas. I'll explain everything later. Good night."

Thomas nodded in Arthur's direction. "Understood. Good night, Sir. And the rest of you of course."

Harry and Merlin returned the greeting, Eggsy lifting his free hand up in what could be seen as a wave. It was an acknowledgement, at least. Though still rude, which Harry did his best to convey in the look he sent in the boy's direction.

Not that he was being paid any attention at the moment.

"Let us proceed then, shall we? The hour grows late and I'd like this all sorted out before my bedtime. Which comes earlier and earlier these days, I'm afraid."

And so saying Arthur headed deeper into the shop's interior, his destination clear as the rest of them followed suit. Eggsy made no comment when Arthur opened the door to the dressing room and motioned Eggsy to head on in ahead of them. In fact, instead of asking why the hell they'd be going into a tailor shop's dressing room for a top secret meeting the boy headed straight for the correct mirror and held up his palm like he expected his palm to be read and acknowledged as a Kingsman agent.

It didn't, of course, which caused the boy to smack his hand against it a couple times in frustration.

Meanwhile, doing his best to hide his surprise that Eggsy knew about the entrance and how to activate it-at least in theory-Harry came up behind him and placed his own hand in place, activating the lift that would begin their descent into the ground.

He had a moment to meet Eggsy's gaze in the mirror, see the way Eggsy's eyes had dilated while the younger man stared back at him like he was looking at a ghost, before the mirror disappeared from view.

The trip to the bottom passed in silence. Harry had the unnerving feeling that his fellow Kingsmen had bought into the whole time-traveling idea and had come to the conclusion that Eggsy actually was Lee's son and possibly a future Kingsman. Ergo how the boy knew them, knew about the shop and the secret entrance, knew...just frankly knew things he should NOT know.

In a corner of his brain Harry was starting to believe it too. But he was refusing to listen to that voice because...because...he wasn't ready to believe otherwise.

)

What the actual fuck was going on here? Why did so many places and people seem familiar but not? Like there were little changes that made the buildings and people not quite like how they were in his memory. Driving through London had been bad enough, but now, being here in this shop-well, not in the shop no more, but under it, anyway. Which wasn't important, Eggsy silently corrected in his mind. The point was everything had looked so familiar, like he'd been here a million times. It hadn't even seemed a bit weird when the fucking floor of the dressing room had started descending. And that was weird. Floors weren't supposed to do that. And then there'd been...

Eggsy closed his eyes as he remembered that moment when Harry had come up behind him and placed his palm on the mirror because Eggsy's hadn't done anything. Remembered that moment when he'd still been looking at their reflection, but for just a sec or two it had changed. They'd...Harry had looked older, with silver in his hair and more lines on his face. Wearing a different suit and glasses as well. And he sure as fuck had looked different too. His hair and eye color had been the same as in those piccies they'd showed him, and in the mirror his clothes had been those of a chav, both in style and the quality of garments.

Now here they were, traveling through the underground in some sort of tube, and the déjà vu just wasn't stopping. Too many things felt both right and horribly wrong.

It was the old man, Arthur, who broke the silence, his tone conversational, like they were meeting up for tea or something. "Eggsy. Might I ask who is currently prime minister?"

For a minute Eggsy couldn't figure why he was asking that. "Oh, right. Cause of my head injuries? Checking to see just how scrambled my brains are?"

Naturally Eggsy's mind went from scrambled to how ironic it was that his name might be Eggsy and his brains were currently scrambled, but since he didn't want to think about that...well he was glad to have something to distract himself with. Ergo Eggsy turned his full attention to Arthur.

"Here in England that would be Theresa May. Though the way things are going with Brexit, that ain't likely to be the case much longer. She's decent, overall. For a politician, anyway. It's them Brexit idiots who ought ta be kicked out of parliament, not her. Fucking nutters."

"The current head of our royal family?"

"Queen Elizabeth the Second. I swear that woman's immortal at this point. Ya know how some people laugh at the memes that say how at the end of the world all that's gonna be left is her and the cockroaches? Well I believe it. Death wouldn't dare take her without permission, and I swear she's determined ta outlive that son of hers at least. Least that's what plenty are hoping. Ya don't want ta get me mum started on her opinions on Charles. She idolized Di, she did."

"As did most. She was a lovely, terribly troubled young lady."

"Ya knew her? Really? That's aces, that is."

Before Eggsy could ask him what the former princess of Wales had really been like Merlin asked him what year it was.

Please. "2018. Two more years till 2020. And the next American election." Eggsy added with a grimace, just thinking about that mess turning his stomach. "Christ. The Yanks better fix things over there ASAP or the rest of the world is gonna unite for the first time in fucking history to build a fucking wall around it."

"And you were born?"

Opening his mouth to answer, that was an even more basic question after all, Eggsy found himself drawing a complete blank. When was his birthday? How old was he? Why could he remember the year and politics, but not personal information? What if the important info was all lost? What if he never got it back? What the fuck was up with his mind? What-

Gasping at the splitting pain that his thoughts caused, Eggsy was only vaguely aware of the case he'd been clutching tumbling out of his lap and onto the floor as he lurched forward with his head in his hands, the pain overwhelming and coming one wave after the other, shorting out his other senses.

In some corner of his brain Eggsy was aware of an arm, Harry's arm, coming around his back to steady him, but the pain was at the forefront and Harry was the most suspicious of him. And fuck him for that, seriously. He might very well have lost all his memories in his quest to protect Harry and this was how the sexy bastard thanked him? Well fuck him.

Huh...thinking about sex helped a little. Good to know.

Not enough though, Eggsy acknowledged as he grinched his teeth, his swearing mostly muffled that way. If one of them told him to mind his language he was beaning them in the head with the case. Well, cept for Arthur. The man was seriously fucking old after all. Didn't look in the peak of health, neither.

Alternating between thinking about sex and all the ways he knew to beat some 'sense' into Harry and Merlin-Eggsy wasn't sure what to make of the many ways he apparently knew to beat the shite out of someone-Eggsy dealt with the waves of pain and did his best not to show how bad it was. Fuck that.

"Drugs?" Eggsy asked hopefully when the pain let up enough that he could think to ask. And yeah, he shouldn't take drugs of any sort from people he didn't know-even if he felt like he did know them-but this was a level of pain that made him useless. He needed to take the edge off if he wanted to stand a chance at going toe to toe with these blokes.

Merlin. "We'll be at our destination in eight minutes. We'll go straight to the medical wing to get you checked out and your blood tested."

"Thank Christ."

)

Once they arrived at Headquarters the four of them headed straight for the medical wing. They were met at the door by the head doctor who'd already been updated as to Eggsy's condition and what had been administered after his 'accident'. Getting straight to business the doctor asked if Eggsy remembered any known medical allergies, the young man's strained 'don't know' not at all reassuring. He was not pretending to be in a lot of pain. Harry could see that and he hated it. Hated this whole fucked up situation, really. Which was sadly not likely to improve any time soon.

"Right. Well, we'll start with the blood sample after we do something about the pain." The doctor motioned to one of his assistants, who stepped forward with a glass in one hand, two pills in the other. He offered both to Eggsy.

Moving forward Eggsy looked at the offering, then grabbed the pills and swallowed them dry in one quick motion before taking the water as well. That he sipped normally, like it was more about wetting his throat than helping the pills to go down.

"Thanks."

"You're welcome. Now let's get you inside and see what your body has to tell us, yes?"

"Lead the way, Doc."

So they all headed in, the doctor leading Eggsy over to the nearest bed, asking the young man if he needed help getting on it.

"Ain't that bad off yet, thanks."

And proving that that hadn't just been young bravado the boy did precisely that, though it obviously costed him. And once seated Eggsy's eyes moved over to where Harry stood, the boy's focus on what Harry carried. Aka the case the boy had been clutching like a very oddly shaped teddy bear-make that a pillow, given its shape-for comfort before the pain had overwhelmed him.

Going on instinct Harry set the case on the end of the bed, within reach if Eggsy wanted to.

Once he was done being poked and prodded, of course.

Likely on Merlin or Arthur's orders the doctor started with the taking of blood, Eggsy offering no complaint or resistance. At least for now. The vial of blood taken was handed over to the assistant, who immediately walked away to get the blood tested against their database.

Then came the usual routine, one Harry knew very well from his own frequent trips to the infirmary. That he tuned out for the most part, his gaze switching back and forth between making sure that Eggsy stayed where he was and watching Merlin and the man's father have a conversation simply through looks and expressions.

The two were silently arguing over whether time travel was possible, much less a possibility in nineteen short years. Merlin, was firmly on the 'it shouldn't be possible' side, but couldn't come up with any more logical explanation to the situation they were in. Arthur, the eternal optimist, thought it entirely possible, and was very excited by the possibilities. And also very upset that the possible time machine was now in pieces for their people to look over.

Of course neither could stay quiet on the subject for long, moving further away to hiss and whisper at each other like children.

Leaving them to it-he'd already silently made his own thoughts clear-Harry went back to simply observing the doctor and his patient. Eggsy looked to be in less pain now. That was good.

"Well you don't appear to be concussed. And the medical information forwarded to me indicates you have nothing but minor cuts and bruises for the most part."

"So then why the fuck did it feel like someone was taking a bloody machete to me head before ya gave me the drugs?" Eggsy wanted to know, the wariness in his eyes making it clear that he was aware that his lack of head injuries would make both his pain and claims of amnesia suspect.

"When you woke up did you experience that level of pain?"

"No. Just felt stiff and sore. Nothin worth mentioning. I was achy, course, but fine up until..."

"Until?" The doctor prompted.

"Merlin asked me for my birthdate. I can't remember it and that freaked me out, thinking of all I might forget for good." A thoughtful narrowing of eyes, definite intelligence there. "So maybe it's-you and the rest said my head ain't damaged really, and I have a hard one. So maybe I can't remember cause of somethin in my system or cause my brain ain't lettin me remember. Is blocking the memories for some reason."

"Those are possibilities. And as we have your blood we can test it to make sure there's nothing harmful in your system currently."

"Cheers."

While the doctor did something that didn't require Eggsy active attention and participation the younger man motioned Harry to come closer. And when he did-cautiously-Eggsy asked, in a low voice, just what was up with the heated 'Doctor Who' discussion?

"What do you mean?"

"That's wot those two are talkin about, ain't it? The time travelling and such."

Sidestepping the question, Harry stated that he wouldn't have taken the boy for a Doctor Who fan.

"Why? Cause I'm younger and ain't a nerd?" Eggsy's eyes narrowed suspiciously. "Or cause ya don't think I'd watch it cause the Doc's a bird now. I ain't sexist, I don't care wot the Doctor's parts are. I didn't watch it much when David Tennant was the Doc, and if he couldn't hook me, the rest didn't stand a chance. It just ain't my thing."

"The Doctor is currently female?" Arthur asked, proving that while his heart might be dying his hearing was still top notch. And of course he looked utterly delighted by this news, forgetting all about his conversation with Merlin as he all but skipped over to them.

"Uh...yeah? Though who knows for how much longer. She just ain't popular enough."

"That's a pity."

"Yeah. Ya don't want ta get Rach goin on how they sabotaged her from the start, making her the thirteenth doctor."

From behind his father Merlin muttered something along the lines of 'Oh joy. Now I have that to look forward to'.