DISCLAIMER: I DONT OWN ANYTHING TO DO WITH THIS STORY; CHARACTERS OR OTHERWISE -THIS IS A RE-IMAGINATION OF AN EXISTING WORLD - EVERYTHING BELONGS TO A MRS STEPHENIE MEYER

***This is my very first fan fiction story and also my very first attempt at creative writing. I am in every sense an amateur and all comments, guidance, and constructive criticism are welcome***

His face was of disbelief, it looked almost as though tears were building behind his dark eyes.

I responded by nodding my head slowly his confused face was suddenly bliss, not a smile per se, something entirely different. He wrapped his long strong arms around me so tight I was barely able to breathe, he didn't say anything, he didn't let up he just held me. I could feel the emotions radiating out of him, but we both knew this wasn't decided. He slowly pulled away and stood up, turned his back to me and walked a few steps away. He looked out into the water for a minute, his shoulders pulled back as he gathered himself and turned back to look at me.

"I didn't miss the "consider" part, I have just been waiting for you to even consider me for what seems like a lifetime and just the…the fact that...well everything you just said is the best thing I think I've ever heard you say, or anyone says for that matter." Jake uttered, letting vulnerability shadow his usual confidence.

"Thank you, for being so understanding Jake. Anyways to conclude my story. Alice skipped town for a week and Edwards hunting for a few days, so I'm "unsupervised" till Wednesday and she wanted me to figure things out...with you before Edward came back and that's how I'm here.

Why I'm here is a different story. I want you to tell me how you feel about all that I just said, I just want to hear every thought you have about it. Don't spare the details I need to know exactly why you feel the way you feel."

"Well Bella, I've never seriously questioned your intelligence, but I'm so relieved you're starting to see Edward the way I see him and Charlie sees him.

" Charlie? I mean I know he isn't Edward's biggest fan… but you know. That's just Charlie." I responded

"Let's just say he's pretty uncensored about his opinions in front of me and my Dad"

"Is it that bad?"

"Welllll…" Jacob admitted " I might partake a bit in the Edward bashing too. But you have to understand. I'm just a heartbroken teenage boy - full of raging hormones and confusing new feelings"

I rolled my eyes " The good news is you've been paying attention in health class.

"Funny you should bring that up…you see I've always sort of thought of Edwards like a drug like you were addicted to him. Please don't take any offense to this I just want to make it clear…why I feel the way I feel."

" Well, you just confessed that you and my dad regularly bash my boyfriend in your free time…and I'm still sitting here so, please. Be honest…no repercussions"

"Well except the ultimate repercussion…losing you"

"Fair… well try not to think about it that way...just be honest, don't overthink it, I value the truth above all else right now."

"Okay. I'm going to continue with the drug analogy if that okay with you"

"Just fine" I laughed

"Well when Edward left you, It's like you had just come down from this huge high, and were forced to quit cold turkey. The first few months were getting it out of your system, Depression, delusions, denial that is the hardest time for you. Then when you realized he wasn't coming back you needed to start your recovery. I like to consider myself your rehab, your Betty Ford if you will." He continued pointing to himself proudly

"Then, of course, went through withdrawals and everywhere you went were reminders of him and that lifestyle and it was hard to not think about it all the time. But slowly you were getting stronger more resistant. I know you didn't think you were getting any better but when you first came to me you were weak…broken I could see it in your mannerisms, in your voice in your eyes, in your smile." As he said this his piercing eyes burrowed their way into my soul

"But Bella you got so much better, not healed but your progress was obvious to everyone. Bella if he had never come back, you would have healed I know it! It was hard for you to see at the time cause you weren't better yet, and that's why I was so persistent cause I knew one day you would figure it out, you would be clean of him, you would be strong enough to see you were better off without him."

Jacob stood up. Paced for a second and sat back down. His need to stand up, walk around and exude emotion so naturally, so fluidly was a drastic contrast to the ever calculated Eduard.

That's why I was so angry when he came back, and like any addict when exposed to him again you were bound to fall off the wagon, and It made me so upset, I wasn't even so much mad at you, just...him and the whole situation. It broke my heart that he hurt you so badly and you took him back without a second thought. I felt like I didn't matter to you anymore, after all, we'd been through together. It hurt me Bella and that's why I think I lashed out with the motorbike. I wanted you to hurt the way you hurt me. But it made me feel stupid and childish, I regretted it immediately. Then there was the fact that I didn't see you anymore. I needed you. Here I thought I was the strong one always there for you when you needed me. But I was an idiot to think that. You helped me get through… well…everything, The whole becoming a wolf. You were so understanding and wonderful. I missed you and I knew it would only get worse, you would eventually become a vampire and I'd have to hate you. I was so conflicted and I didn't have you anymore. Once you left so much happened, like with Embry and with Quil and Seth and Leah and I was mad you weren't there. I resented you but I still loved you every bit as much as I did before. I was so jealous he got all that time with you, and I'd think about when you would spend that time with me, I wondered if you were happier with him or just disillusioned because you were well…high on Edward. I was also worried about you because, Bella, what if he slipped, or one of his brothers and sisters I was worried you'd be gone and I never had the chance to say goodbye, never got to tell you I'd forgive you and I still loved you. Bella nothing's changed, I can't stop being in love with you you're my perfect match. I know Edward is older and wealthier and I am young and stupid and reckless and am by no means rich. But I promise you I will make up for all my shortcomings by loving you with my whole heart. I don't have it in me to hurt you. I just don't, because I need you, and I know you need me or you wouldn't be here right now."

Jacob stopped talking definite tears were swimming in his eyes now, I had never thought of Jake as one to cry but this display of emotion was oddly comforting in its sincerity. I almost didn't believe all the things Jacob had said. It was so accurate; he had perfectly summarized the last year of my life. He was so insightful. I hadn't expected this from him. Not that I didn't believe he was capable of feeling all this but I was surprised that he had expressed it so willingly. To lay it all on the line like that. He had allowed me to see his vulnerability; I had so much respect for Jacob right now, so much admiration. I couldn't think of a response appropriate enough to follow that speech so instead, I asked him one of the questions I had come here to ask.

"Did Edward ever see you behind my house, did he know you were there?"

"Yeah, he did." Jacob looked embarrassed I am sure this wasn't the response he had hoped for. He hid his tearful eyes and tried to inconspicuously wipe them while trying to bring attention to a pile of rocks he had made with his feet.

"It sorta drove him crazy. He told me to go home, to give up because you were taken. You'd made your decision. I didn't want to believe him, but your window was always open for him so I had no choice. I asked him to let you come down to La Push, unsupervised. It's not as if he was mean, but It was clear he didn't like me. I don't know why he didn't trust me with you. He can read my thoughts for Christ's sake! The loneliness just got so bad I would endure seeing him just to be near you. Why do you ask?" He concluded as if he hadn't just said one of the most tragic things I'd ever heard.

As he explained his Edward confrontations I studied him closely. Seeing him in such a state changed something in me, he was so exposed and looked so hurt I wanted to make it all go away. How dare Edward let Jake go on like that. Jake is only a boy for goodness sake! Edward knows better, he couldn't swallow his pride, take the high road. I couldn't do it anymore; I couldn't have Jake go on feeling this way for one more minute. I had always loved Jacob as a friend but I had a desire within me to finally gratify him, make all his hurt go away, and undo everything he had just told me. I wanted him to be mine I wanted to take on the emotional baggage I wanted every piece of him. But unlike before I wanted more than his friendship, I wanted him to belong to me and no one else. I wanted to be his too; I didn't want to feel guilty spending time with him or have to cut our time together short. I needed him to know how I felt but how do I tell him, how could I make him see these feelings I had for him without confusing him. "Bella?... Bells are you okay? I felt an impulse, a confession was searching for a way out.

"Bella?... Bells are you okay?"

My eyes were glazed over I had zoned out in thought. Jake brought me back to the present. I looked in his searching eyes. He looked worried like he had said the wrong thing. His eyes were locked on mine in anticipation of my response.

"Jacob... Edward proposed to me"