CHAPTER XIII

…

A few hours later, there was a knock on the door. Zaimokuza Yoshiteru showed up at my doorstep that evening. He looked nervous for the party. He lived in Mihama as well, but this was one of the only times he visited my house. I'm not sure on what to wear - of course I know the proper attire and etiquette in a formal party, but college parties are not my style. I just put on a dress shirt, slacks and my dark blue overcoat. You can't go wrong with that, and that's what I basically wear everyday. They say that Albert Einstein often wore the same kinds of clothes every day so he didn't have to waste brainpower on deciding what to wear. I'm not quite sure what to infer from that statement. But if so, then women must be very intelligent if they focus their mind on something other than deciding - for hours - what dress to wear.

He's wearing the khaki coat he always has on. I could spot him in a huge crowd because it makes him stand out. Zaimokuza still wore the coat even in the summer, and I think this guy is a reptile, because he doesn't break a sweat unless it's around 100 degrees Fahrenheit. Only now did I realize how tall he's gotten. He's almost as tall as me, probably 5'9 or so. I think Zaimokuza had been lifting weights recently, because he wasn't fat - he was buff. He said he was actually doing some physical exercising these days. Good for him. If he keeps on growing at this rate, he'll probably be a giant by the next few years.

We walked down the street until we passed by the old playground and Nakaisobe park, where we both had separate childhood memories of our own. When we get close to the Isobe elementary school where we both used to go, Zaimokuza says to me, "you know, I have a little cousin. He's five, and he's gonna enroll in that elementary school next year."

"Really?" This was the first time I heard about Zaimokuza's cousin. He had started living with his relatives in the city during college. Even before, he used to visit them often, and I knew he had two older cousins. The youngest boy had just turned five, meaning he was born during when we were still in second year high school. I say, "how come you didn't tell me sooner? I could've come to join you at the celebration."

"Sorry," he chuckled. "You see, my grandparents were the ones raising him, and they'd often bring him with them back to their town."

Then I remembered. Both of Zaimokuza Yoshiteru's parents passed away back when he was in middle school. It was something that he was very privy about, and I was probably the only one who knew that much. Behind his façade of foolishness and otaku obsessions, he was a guy who'd been through bad times. He pretended so well, that even I didn't see through him. He handled his loss well. But that wasn't to say that he was prepared. Nobody is prepared to lose their loved ones, and the only thing we can do is to cope with it in one way or another. Looking at him now, he was far more mature, and not the same boy from several years ago. I think people never really change. It's just the mask that falls off.

"What is his name?" I asked.

"Zaimokuza Yoshikazu," he smiled proudly. I asked if I could see him some other time, and he agreed. The kindergarten wasn't far from here, and we could watch Yoshikazu play soccer in the afternoon. I remembered how I used to spectate Komachi when she pitched a game of baseball. It's one of the few things that was enjoyable for me.

Then I remembered a certain friend again. I kept shoving that line of thought into the back of my mind, but it was ticking me off. I also wasn't looking forward to the party, because of previous incidents. Maybe one of us would have to carry a passed out drunk again. And then there was unfinished business waiting in Sakaecho, which was hellish for me, and risking everything I've built so far. And what would Yukinoshita say of all this, once she comes back? I can't imagine how she would see me. I mean, I promised to change for her. What happened to me now-

"You got a problem?" Zaimokuza asked, looking at me.

He must've noticed how I was frowning. "No," I say.

"Well, you look like you've got a problem."

"That's how I usually look," I shrugged. "I didn't want to go to this reunion crap, you know."

"Now, why not? Is it because you're embarrassed yourself, that our former classmates now have a better life or relationship than you? That they've gone far and high, while you're a social outcast in college, as usual?" He says.

That was far from the reason why I didn't want to go, but his words seem to strike their marks precisely. Why would I be embarrassed of myself? I mean, sure I may be an embarrassment, but once you accept what you are, there's nothing much people can do to derail you. I'm a social outcast in school alright. But on the streets, I'm something else. And I think that's what matters. "Fine, you've made your point," I sigh. "But it's just that I don't need to reunite with anyone from my past. Besides, like you said, I don't have much to show for."

"Look here," Zaimokuza says. "I'm just a freelancer working on and off at different places. I lift up boxes, and I put them down again. I've never been smart enough at something that could be useful to climbing up the social ladder. But I'm proud of what I do. I'm not embarrassed. So why should you be?"

We both had a silent agreement on that one. Soon, we turned up at a pub where the reunion party was being hosted. To be honest, I was quite nervous, because I don't know or remember anyone, and it would be embarrassing if they happen to recognize me. They did. The mother of one of my former classmates owned the establishment, and she rented it for the evening.

I thought it would be awkward, but soon, I was actually getting along with everyone. I just went with the mood, and followed along Zaimokuza. How could my classmates be so nice? Could it be that they remembered a different memory of me, one that is not despicable? It's like the time before I was a social outcast - before I was on the path of the loner. And it actually wasn't that all bad. Probably in a parallel universe Hachiman no.2 is a riajuu who is living a normal and pleasant life.

Everyone was having a good time. Of course, I was on my toes once the drinks were served. There's only like twenty of us, and that was more than enough people for me. A part of me wanted to get out as soon as possible, and another more idiotic side wanted to stay and drink a bit, reassuring me that nothing bad will happen. Zaimokuza started drinking beer, and in a few minutes he was starting to get uptight for no reason. I'm just quietly sitting opposite to him at a table.

There was karaoke, and girls were singing. I tell you, regardless of what people say, sometimes passion isn't enough. If you simply aren't cut out to be a singer, just forget it. I think they were trying to summon a rainstorm with their voice. Worst part about it all was that the girls were starting to drink. The fact that there were more girls in the party seems to be a win for the guys… but I have no interest.

There was this girl with beautiful ruby-red eyes who just took the stage. If I didn't know her, a degenerate part of my mind would start churning out perverse thoughts. I remember her from when I was around seven years old. I hated her. Absolutely hated her back then. Sure I'll admit that she's very sexy even if she's… a bit bigger than most girls, but back then she was an annoying, stuck up, little bitch from a wealthy family. I didn't even know to call her a bitch back then. I was too young for that kind of emotion. I just have a raw feeling, thinking, "she's like… how do I describe it… I don't know. Ah, yes. Like a bitch." Anyway, out of nowhere she started teasing Zaimokuza and pressing him to sing. I was relieved that she didn't pick on me, because I have an absolutely terrible voice in singing. But I never heard Zaimokuza sing before, so I was somewhat curious.

Zaimokuza was red in the face when he made his way up to the little stage. Now I'm really nervous and at the same time excited at what could happen. He's mumbling like a drunk, and we're all starting to laugh. I should feel guilty. The girls were starting to poke fun at him. I know that their insults would never get through him. Not a chance, it'd bounce right off. But Zaimokuza is drunk, so he's probably more sensitive. He started poking back at the girls, immediately using one of the most notorious and offending words you could call a woman: fat. So there he was, going, "oh yeah? Ha… well, y'know what, you're fat!" And the girls were all denying it.

Meanwhile me and the guys were about to die… from laughing so hard. Some were rolling on the floor. What an exaggeration. But hey, it's not always I get to laugh this much. And besides, it's not like we're taking it seriously. Then a girl points at him, "well Yoshi, you're fat too, y'know!" I mean, she's right… and my stomach ached a bit from laughing. The irony, it's too much.

Zaimokuza just groans, unable to come up with a quick response, and guys start booing him. Then he sighs loudly, before saying, "yeah, alright. I'm fat, and I still am. But I was already fat back in elementary. I kept my body figure, why can't you?" And the girl just started blushing so madly from embarrassment, while the room applauded noisily. We're like kids. I nearly spat out my drink when he dropped that line.

Eventually, it was almost eight o' clock and time to go home. Some of them grouped up and went out for dinner, but I politely refused. We parted ways and said our goodbyes. I'll say it was a jolly good party. I hate to admit, but I had fun. Of course, this isn't something I'd want on a regular basis, but once in a while is okay for me. It actually helped me relax a bit and take time off from work. For a moment, I almost forgot the main reason why I agreed to Zaimokuza's favor.

It's a pretty chilly night, and Christmas was only two months away. We're walking side by side, you know, like in a movie. Zaimokuza and I shared a liking for western movies and anime. We're both wearing large coats - mine, dark blue and his, khaki. I thought we looked a bit like gangsters from JoJo's Bizarre Adventure. We started talking about our part-time jobs, and what career we wanted to take once we graduate. I thought it was bad luck to talk about your plans, because it jinxes it. Then we started discussing making money and such. It's not exactly an intellectual debate or anything, it's just simple talk. It's just the kind of conversation you'd share with a friend who's on the same page as you. I ask him, "do you really want to keep working for halfpence a day as a freelancer?"

"Course not. But it's not like I've got that much of a choice," Zaimokuza says.

"And that's where you're wrong. See, we always have a choice. Not making a decision is a big decision, you know."

"What, you wanna make a bartender out of me, Hachiman?" He laughed. "Ah! I'd make a good bouncer, don't you think? I'll just have to shed the fat and unveil the muscle power."

"You're good with computers and social media, all that stuff, right?" I say to him. He looked at me curiously.

"Well… I guess I'm good enough with it." He shrugged. Zaimokuza has a major in computer science, and he has very high scores in that particular course. It's as if he spent all his skill points on one particular trait, to take it in an RPG perspective. Although he is quite humble with himself. That would have to change. I learned a long time ago that there is no room for complacency in a dynamic world. You cannot be humble or content with mediocrity. You must always keep stepping forward and reaching out. Enough is simply not enough. The cruel truth about the world is that nobody is allowed to stop and rest at all, lest they fall down, like a helicopter shutting its engines, even if only for a moment.

"Don't you want to get a better job?" I say. "You can go farther, Zaimokuza. I know it. People like us are destined for something far greater. I know, I know. This sounds unbelievable coming from me, but think about it. If only we take what opportunity has to offer, we could go right to the top. We will get the money, prestige, everything we want."

"Now, what're you trying to say? See here, Hachiman, it's like what you said. You can't change the world. The world changes you. Not everybody can be astronauts," he says.

"That's what my father used to say," I chuckled. "But see, we're not going to change the world. Of course not, we couldn't. But we could change our personal world - make life much better for us and for our family. The least we could do is do ourselves a favour. Accept opportunities for ourselves, if not for anyone else."

We both walk in silence, and only the rustling of trees and whistling of wind is heard. Both of us were thinking carefully. He must be wondering what I was trying to say. People who know me well enough understood that there was often a deeper meaning to the words I say. I'm not a good conversationalist, and I better put my intentions into action than into words. You could say that I'm a man of action and not words.

Finally, I gather the initiative to unveil my intentions to Zaimokuza. I told him of my proposition. He's confused. He asked me what I meant by that. I explained it to him carefully. "I need someone competent, trustworthy and capable, and who better but you, Zaimokuza? I am offering you a role - a job where you'd put your computer skills to use. You're going to be my ace in the hole, my great ally."

I told him the things I've been doing since I started working in The Grandeur and under Manuel Ieyori. The schemes. The rackets. How I was able to earn enough money, a portion of which I sent to my mother in the U.S. to help with my sister's education and family expenses. How I started to grow as a person. I say, "I'm trying to explain to you that what we're doing isn't a crime out of malice. It's a necessary evil. We're good people, trying to make do with what life throws at us. I want you to understand that we are not gangsters or criminals. We are businessmen, and we are simply conducting business on the streets."

"So you're asking me to become your accomplice - your partner in crime?" Zaimokuza shouts, and I have to shush him.

"Look here. You tell me, what is the definition of crime? What is crime, but a fictitious, nonexistent concept invented by society, solely to make sense of moral dilemmas?" I reasoned.

Our conversation escalated into a full blown debate and argument. Maybe not on the level with a discussion with Yukinoshita, but Zaimokuza proved to be very clever and knowledgeable as well. He's the kind who is lawful and obedient, but is prepared to stand up for his dignity and rights. I on the other hand follow much more devious methods. I seek to benefit myself first and foremost, and my family as well. We have back and forth arguments for several minutes. He says, "whatever you're doing, it's still a crime. And it will one day land you in jail."

"It's only a crime if they find out. And it isn't a problem as long as people don't see it as one. I mean, why is it when they serve alcohol in Roppongi it's called hospitality, but when we do it it's called bootlegging?"

"The problem is that people do see it as a problem. And not just in Japan - the rest of the world generally considers these kinds of schemes as a criminal act. And why do this of all things, Hachiman?"

We stop walking, and Zaimokuza crosses his arms, looking at me. "The same reason why anyone else would do it," I answered. "Life isn't fair. So tell me why should we play fairly as well? It should only be fair to play unfair. Listen, no man ever got rich by being honest. The world is a cruel place, and principles limit our potential. I'm not saying you should abandon all moral principles, not at all. I'm saying we should be opportunists, we should adapt. This Japanese system of ours, call it capitalism, call it Japanism, call it what you will. This system gives each and every one of us a great opportunity, but only if we seize it with both hands and make the most out of it."

"You sound like someone else," he remarks.

"No, this is how I am now." I smiled. "I've had enough, and I'm not taking shit from life anymore. I want you to join me, Zaimokuza. It's not just about us. We're never going to change the world at this point, but one day, we might just be able to help not just ourselves, but the people in this city. Think of it, do this for the greater good, if not for yourself."

"'Ambition is the passion of a great character' as Bonaparte once said." He quoted. I nod in agreement.

"Right now, I am taking an oath. If I don't make my first 100 million by the time we graduate, I am going to shoot myself in the head," I declared.

He glared at me, and we both burst into peals of laughter. "You know, oaths are meant to be kept. Hachiman, are you crazy?"

"No, I'm serious. On the contrary, I do have a code of honor. I have my dignity, and I will not break my own words. Besides, I'm not going to fail. I know so, because I'm not doing that losing shit anymore."

Finally, Zaimokuza Yoshiteru agrees. "Alright then. I'll accept your proposition. Though I feel like I'm making a mistake, I guess we'll all just have to take risks at one point or the other in life. But on one condition: every time we make a decision, everyone in charge has to be informed. I don't want anyone accidentally screwing it up for the rest of us."

We reach an intersection where we are to part ways. Zaimokuza nearly squeezed the breath out of me with a sudden bear hug and slap on the back. "Alright, you. Get off me," I gasp, pushing him off.

"So, what might be my role in this grand scheme?" He asked, crossing his arms.

"Do you like spy movies?" I say to him, smiling. "Surveillance, intelligence and espionage."