A/N: Thank you so much for the support and feedback you have given on this story so far. I am sorry about the long delay between chapters and I am hoping that Chapter 4 will be a quicker turn around. As usual, I could not have done this with out the love, support, and priceless guidance of my betas and dear friends Stephanie and Jo. Hugs and kisses to you both.

Please take the time to leave a review! It's my favorite part of writing.

Chapter 3:

"... Mad about you, mad about you... Lost in your eyes… Mad about love… You and I…"

Donna is singing along to her 80's playlist and dancing around her apartment. Mad About You by Belinda Carlisle had always been a go-to of hers and it is currently blaring from her surround sound speakers. The louder the music, the less likely her mind will wander.

She is on her third cup of coffee and the caffeine is working like a charm. After waking up at 4:00 am and never getting back to sleep, she's going to be consuming a whole lot of caffeine today.

It was a dream that had woken her. A dream she'd had dozens of times. At first, she'd played it off as no big deal. Dreams aren't always logical and she was convinced it didn't mean anything. But with each subsequent occurrence, the same characters, the same plot, the same ending, it had grown much more difficult to ignore.

They were in Paris. Looking out over a breathtaking sunset and sharing a bottle of wine. Reminiscing on their years as friends and all the curveballs life had thrown their way. Harvey was giving her a detailed breakdown of what had led to his breakup with Scottie when he suddenly dropped to one knee in front her.

Even when she woke from the dream. Breathless. Heart pounding. She could still feel his presence. The warmth of his hand covering hers. The rich tone of his voice. The love so clear in his eyes.

Every. Single. Time. It felt so real. She can still hear the words clear as day.

"Wait, Harvey. What are you saying?"

"I'm saying I love you. And whether I knew it or not, I wanted to marry you from the second I met you."

"Oh, my God!"

"Donna Roberta Paulsen, will you marry me right here, right now?"

Of course, it hadn't happened that way. They had shared a glass of wine on that balcony in Paris. Her subconscious hadn't fabricated the entire scene. Just the part where Harvey declared his love and asked her to marry him.

When he surprised her last year with the trip, she had tried, really tried, not to read into it. But she had never forgotten the proposal he made on her 30th birthday, and even though he and Scottie dated for three years after that, Donna never believed Scottie was really the one for him. And when he swept her off to Paris, just a few weeks after that relationship ended, Donna allowed the dangerous notion that maybe, just maybe, she was the one he wanted. And that his invitation to Paris was the perfect time to follow through on that suggestion he'd once made. One year ahead of schedule.

But it was just that. A dream. The trip had been unforgettable and the two of them made memories she would treasure for the rest of her life. But they were memories made between friends. Nothing more. And the day Donna returned home, she committed completely to moving on with her life. The last thing she was going to do was sit around and wait for her 35th birthday just to have her heart broken by Harvey Specter once again.

That first night back home she had the dream for the first time.

She is an expert now at deflecting any buried emotions that dream conjures to the surface. She is having lunch with Harvey and Mike in a couple of hours and there is no room for any of that. Besides, she's really excited to play matchmaker with Mike and Rachel and she is dying to see the look on Mike's face when Rachel joins them. Hopefully, things will be so awkward between the two of them, no one will notice the way she and Harvey can't seem to look each other in the eye.

…

When Harvey finally gives up on getting back to sleep, he knows a run is inevitable. Running has always been a part of his routine and sometimes it has even bordered on an addiction. The rush he experiences from pushing his body to its limits, the "runner's high" he gets when that second wind kicks in… it has become a need he can not easily ignore.

The hotel has a top-notch spa and gym but Harvey has always preferred to run outdoors. New York had never been home to him, but it was a lot closer to it than LA would ever be. He had spent two summers here in college when he, Mike, Donna, and Katrina, a theater friend of Donna's, lived together in a tiny apartment downtown. He and Mike worked their asses off as unpaid interns, and Donna and Katrina made peanuts performing in off-off-off Broadway productions. They had been poor. Dirt poor. But those were still some of the best months of his life.

The events of the previous night plague his thoughts as sweat drips down his face. That smug fat face of Stephen Huntley is forged into his memory and he can't help but be pissed off about it.

But jealousy, disguised as anger, isn't the only emotion he remembers from last night.

He can still feel Donna in his arms at the airport. The soft touch of her hand on his face, the smell of her hair when it surrounded his nose.

And the dream didn't help.

It's not like it was the first time he'd dreamt of her that way. But this particular one had been so vivid. So real.

It started like a realistic rerun of their embrace at the airport, but instead of pulling back and playing it cool, he stroked her cheek and lowered his mouth to cover hers. The kiss was deep and honest. It was like everything he held back over the years was finally set free, all his love for her pouring out into this one perfect kiss.

"Don't marry him, Donna. Marry me."

Then he woke up. Just like that. And reality came crashing down on him once again.

Harvey pushes his pace up another level, needing the blood pumping through his veins to overpower the ache settling in his chest.

...

Mike and Harvey walk into the Italian restaurant they had passed by many times in college but could never afford to actually eat at.

"I think it's hilarious that Donna picked Del Posto." Mike chuckles as they stand in front of the hostess stand. "You remember how she used to go on and on about wanting to eat here?"

"Do I remember?" Harvey laughs. "How could I possibly forget? And I'm not surprised in the least. You know Donna. She wants something, she goes after it."

"Does she now?" Mike mumbles under his breath, half hoping Harvey hears him.

Harvey spots Donna first and he has to bite down on his lower lip to keep from laughing out loud. He stops and nudges Mike with his shoulder.

"Looks like we have an old friend joining us for lunch." He almost feels bad for his buddy when he sees the blood drain from Mike's face.

Sitting across from Donna, in a low cut white dress, is Rachel Zane. The love of Mike's life and the one who'd, undoubtedly, broken his heart years before. The old cliche says, Tis better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all, but no one thinks that's a bigger crock of shit than these two lonely fools.

"I'm going to kill Donna," Mike growls once he regains his ability to form words.

"You were going to have to see her eventually, Mike. May as well rip off the old bandaid. You know, like how you helped Donna surprise me at the airport?" The slap on the back is harder than necessary, but it serves the purpose of moving Mike in the direction of their table.

"If it isn't the honorable Rachel Zane, herself." Harvey lays on the charm nice and thick with a grin that would bring a swarm of butterflies to the stomach of any female species.

"Harvey Specter, in the flesh!" Rachel jumps quickly from her seat and throws her arms around him. "First of all, I'm a lawyer, not a judge." She giggles playfully as she leans back. "And second of all," she grips both his biceps in her hands, "have you been working out?"

"Okay, okay, we get it. You two are both gifts to mankind." Mike plays off his unease like a champ and Harvey raises a brow at Donna before giving her a wink. "But everyone knows it's brains over brawn in the long run."

Mike steps in and takes Rachel into a friendly hug.

"It's great to see you, Rachel."

It's subtle, and Harvey's pretty sure no one else picks up on it, but he hears the slight tremble in his friend's voice and he can empathize. Great to see you - in a kick to the nutsack kind of way.

Rachel and Mike exchange pleasantries quietly for a moment while Harvey reaches down to hug Donna. As is par for the course, she smells incredible and he wonders how he ever pretended she didn't make him weak. Donna starts to let go but Harvey hangs on a moment longer.

"I'm sorry about last night," he whispers before clearing his throat and taking the seat beside her, leaving Mike and Rachel no choice but to take the ones across from them.

…..

Donna had been looking forward to seeing the interaction between Mike and Rachel all morning. And as fun as it was to watch their eyes light up at the sight of one another, it didn't distract from the glow around Harvey. Had she really forgotten the way he commanded a room? The way his smile split his face in two and his eyes crinkled just slightly around the edges.

She hadn't forgotten. She had simply tried to pretend that it no longer mattered. That it no longer made her stomach coil with a desire she'd battled since the first time she ever laid eyes on Harvey Specter and didn't even know what that burning sensation meant. She knows what it means now, and she hates herself for it.

And when he whispers an apology about last night into her ear, she has to squeeze her eyes shut to steady herself.

They are able to keep the conversation light as the waiter delivers a round of chilled wine and salads. Mike and Rachel take turns catching everyone up on their lives, and Harvey adds in an anecdote or a witty rebuttal here and there, the way he always does.

Donna slowly relaxes into the lunch and feels exactly the way she should when surrounded by her three closest friends. Happy. The topic eventually turns to the upcoming wedding and the business the next few days will bring. Donna can immediately feel the change in energy in the seat next to her. Harvey has grown quiet and appears to be a full glass of wine ahead of everyone else at the table.

"So, Harvey?" Rachel tries to bring him back into the conversation. "I was sorry to hear that things didn't work out with you and Scottie." She tilts her glass in his direction. "But I'm guessing there must be a new hottie in the picture? Or maybe, a few new hotties?"

Donna feels herself gasp at the question but she's fairly certain no one notices. She's pretty confident Harvey isn't involved with anyone, and it's ridiculous for her to feel anything resembling jealousy when she's the one getting married in a few days, yet she's clearly holding her breath awaiting his response.

Harvey clears his throat and glares at Mike who is trying desperately not to grin like an idiot.

"Actually, no." His lips pull into a straight line as he seems to consider whether further explanation is a good idea. "When things ended with Scottie last year, I needed to do a little… soul searching, you know? Figure some things out."

Donna is taken aback. Not just by his openness, which was shocking in its own right, but by his words. He had never told her, his best friend, anything of the sort. Harvey told her they'd parted on good terms and that he was relieved that no one got hurt.

She turned her head toward him as she let his words sink in. "You never said anything to me about needing to do any soul searching."

Harvey drops his chin slightly and looks at her from the corner of his eye. His Adam's apple bobs in his throat before he takes another drink. "We're friends, Donna. It's not like we're married." The comment is said under his breath but the resentment is clear.

And it stings.

"I guess he was searching for his soul somewhere inside his desk," Mike jokes, trying to break the sudden tension surrounding the table. "Because from what I recall, after that breakup, you worked 70 hour weeks for months."

"But he took Donna to Paris, remember?" Rachel cuts in, seemingly unaware of the pot she is fiercely churning. "So he didn't put all his attention on work."

Paris… Donna thinks. She can still see Harvey standing across from her on Le Pont des Arts and their talk about always telling each the 'hard truths'. She guesses he'd meant only the ones he cared to share.

Suddenly feeling hot and a little nauseous, Donna stands up and straightens her dress. "Can you guys excuse me, I um… Need to…"

Donna walks in the direction of the front door and Harvey puts his napkin on the table and starts to stand up.

"Harvey." Mike gives a quick shake of his head indicating that following Donna may not be the best idea. "Let me."

When Mike steps out into the warm May air, he finds Donna leaning against the brick facade.

"Hey," he says softly, leaning on the wall beside her with one foot tucked up behind him. "You okay?"

"Yeah. Of course, Mike. I just got a little warm in there. Must be hormones or something." She attempts a casual laugh that she knows isn't convincing. "Bride-to-be stuff, you know."

"Not really." He smiles softly. "I'll have to take your word for it."

The two friends take in the downtown city street around them but neither speaks for several minutes.

"You know you can always talk to me, right, Donna?" He turns to face her and she slowly meets his gaze. "About anything."

She smiles at that. She knows he has her best interest at heart and it makes her feel very loved.

"And it might not be my place to say this…"

Oh God. She doesn't like the sound of that.

"But, if I'm being honest, I don't think it's me you need to have a talk with."

"Mike." Donna tilts her head like she's talking to a younger brother who needs to be reminded of his place. "I don't need to have a talk with anyone. I'm getting married in three days and I'm just a ball of nerves." She reaches for his hand and gives it a light squeeze. "That's all this is."

"That's not all this is, Donna, and we both know it." Mike's voice shifts from empathetic to borderline stern. "And you can be mad at me or not, but you guys are my two closest friends and I can't just stand by and watch this happen."

"Watch what happen?" Donna straightens her spine. "Me getting married?" She doesn't raise her voice, but there's still a clear mixture of hurt and anger.

"The two of you need to talk. You need to be honest about how you feel. And if you want to stand here and say that you don't need a talk, then do it for Harvey."

Donna feels like she can't breathe. Like suddenly an elephant just walked through Manhattan and sat right on her chest.

Mike exhales a heavy breath and waits a beat before adding one last thing.

"He has some things to say that you really need to hear. And I'm guessing the same may be true for you. I can't just stand by and let you marry Stephen without you knowing the truth about Harvey."

The truth about Harvey…

There is literally no air. Donna cannot breathe. Cannot move. Cannot think.

She hears the sound of Mike's voice echoing in her ears. Something about getting Rachel and giving the two of them some privacy.

The truth about Harvey...

Mike gives her elbow a gentle squeeze and Donna fights a wave of dizziness as she watches him walk back inside.

…

When Harvey sees the expression on Mike's face as he returns to the table, sans Donna, his stomach tightens. If he knows Mike, which he does, he just did something Harvey isn't going to like.

"Hey, guys. Donna needs to take Harvey to see the tailor for his final alterations and she asked if I could take care of a few errands for her. Catch up with you two later?"

Harvey gulps at the change in plans. Mike was supposed to be going with them to the tailor.

"Why don't I join you?" Rachel smiles sweetly. "You up for spending the afternoon with an old friend?"

The look on Mike's face is almost enough to make Harvey laugh, despite the cramps in his stomach.

"Uhhh." Mike's eyes dart to Harvey and back to Rachel.

"What a great idea, Rachel." Harvey pipes in sitting up straighter in his chair. "Mike was just saying when we walked in, how he was hoping to spend some time with you while he was here."

"Perfect!" Rachel beams. "Just let me run to the restroom and we can head out."

The minute she turns the corner Mike punches Harvey on the shoulder.

"Seriously? 'Mike was just saying when we walked in, how he was hoping to spend some time with you while he was here.'" Mike mimics Harvey's comment in a boyish tone.

"Something tells me whatever you said to Donna out there was much more damaging than that," Harvey says sourly as he finishes his drink. "Plus, I did you a favor."

"So did I," Mike retorts.

"What did you do?" Harvey pushes back from the table and stands face to face with Mike. Despite the fact that both men are six feet tall, he seems to be towering over Mike.

"Told her the truth. The two of you need to talk."

Harvey feels his blood pressure rising but before he has a chance to take it out on Mike, Donna appears behind him.

"Everything okay here?" she asks, completely aware that she'd interrupted something.

"Just peachy." Harvey plops back into his chair like a poor mannered toddler who didn't get his way.

Rachel returns from the restroom and hugs and kisses are exchanged between her, Donna, and Mike. Then the two of them show themselves out.

"How about a walk?" Donna finally speaks up when Harvey remains silent. There is trepidation in her tone and Harvey knows she has as much interest in crossing this bridge as he does. Maybe even less.

"Yeah." He sighs. "Okay." He stands up and follows Donna toward the door.

…

They head out of the restaurant, keeping a wide berth from one another as if an accidental touch might result in spontaneous combustion.

Harvey knows that the tailor is several blocks away from Del Posto, but by his calculations, they have just over an hour and that's more than enough time to get there on foot.

"Thank you for lunch," Donna says, her voice soft and her eyes cast toward the horizon.

Harvey scoffs. Partly because it's an absurd formality considering the way things work between them, meaning Donna hasn't paid for a meal in his presence since he started working at the bowling alley at age sixteen, and secondly because he knows she's just treading lightly.

He doesn't respond. He just quickens his pace a step so that they are walking side by side.

"I'm sorry." He finally breaks the silence a couple of blocks later.

"Oh?" Donna tilts her head in his direction. "What for this time?"

Harvey huffs at her tone and half pushes, half guides her toward the small park on their left.

"You know what for," he finally rebuts once they secure a little privacy. "I' didn't mean what I said."

"So we are married, then?" She continues with the sarcastic tone. "Because that could really complicate this weekend."

"Damit, Donna," Harvey barks, gripping both her shoulders with his oversized hands. "Are we having this talk or are we just going to keep firing zingers back and forth?"

He's not sure if it's his tone or the way he's gripping her, but he can see he's got her attention now.

"I didn't come to you after Scottie and I split because I didn't think it would have been good for either of us." He can feel his eyes welling up and he sees the shift from anger to concern in the wide hazel eyes looking back at him. He clenches his jaw in an effort to keep his composure.

"What do you mean, not good for us?" Her eyes are full of questions he has no clue how to answer.

Harvey drops his hands to his sides and begins walking again. Donna falls in step beside him.

"I lied to you about why Scottie and I split up." Harvey runs a hand through his hair. He can't believe he's actually reopening this wound. And now, for Christ's sake. Three days before her wedding to another man.

"You… lied?" Donna can't hide the shock from her voice. The two of them may have kept a few personal secrets over the years, but they did not lie. "Why?"

Her tone is so full of pain, Harvey's not sure he can continue.

"Fuck, Donna." He stops walking and turns toward her. His proverbial tail between his legs. "I really don't know if this is a good idea." He swallows and looks down at his feet. "Once these things are out there, we can never go back."

"Harvey." Donna reaches for his hands. "This is us. You and me." She waits for him to bring his eyes up to meet hers. "Hard truths, right?"

He wants to believe her. He really, really does.

"It was because of you."

"Me?" Donna steps back but doesn't let go of his hands. She shakes her head like she's trying to put pieces together that don't fit. "But Scottie and I got along great. Why would she—"

"Because of you… and me."

He can see the moment it clicks for her. And, this time, she does drop his hands. Shaking her head again, Donna takes another step back.

"It wasn't your fault, Donna. It was mine." Harvey sighs and decides it's time to go all in. "She asked me to choose."

"To choose?" Donna practically spits. "Between what? A relationship with her and a friendship with me?"

She's raising her voice now and Harvey is afraid he had been right not to tell her. But the worst of it isn't even out there yet.

"Didn't you explain to her that there was nothing between us? That it was ridiculous for her to be threatened. That you didn't see me that way?" Donna goes on with hands flailing in the air.

"I did," he says simply. "But she didn't believe me."

"Why the hell not?" Her voice cracks.

"Because she was right."

…

For the second time in as many hours, Donna finds the wind taken from her lungs. His words flooding over her like a powerful wave picking her up, spinning her around, and slamming her head first into the sand.

"Donna." Harvey reaches for her but she recoils.

This is not happening. Harvey Specter is not standing here in the middle of a park on a sunny day telling her that he has feelings for her. Those feelings. Three days before her wedding.

"What do you mean, she was right?" The words come out measured and deliberate. Each one pronounced with perfect clarity.

"Donna…" This time when he extends his hand she pushes it away.

"Answer me, Harvey!" Her eyes are swimming now and her voice, shakey. And when he simply opens his mouth and then shuts it again, she begins to fill in the blanks on her own.

"Let me see if I have this right." Her eyes bore into his. "You told Scottie you saw me in that way but you didn't see it necessary to tell me?"

Harvey closes his eyes and exhales. Donna feels her control slipping away. Blood pumping through her veins. She wants to scream, hit, cry. He opens his mouth to answer her but she cuts him off.

"Then you swept me off to Paris? For what? To test the waters? See if I'd bite?

Harvey's eyes widen at that, again trying to interject, but Donna is on a roll now.

"Then you… what? Changed your mind?" She takes a stride toward him and he actually flinches. "You decided it would be better to wait until I was happy with someone else?" She puts both hands on his chest and shoves him. "I'm getting married, Harvey!" She chokes out the last line on a sob.

As she drops her hands from his chest, Harvey grabs them both.

"I did not tell Scottie, Donna. And I would never intentionally hurt you. You have to know that." He lets go of one hand and runs his own over his face in exasperation. She can see as much pain in his eyes as there must be in hers. "I couldn't admit to you how I felt because I couldn't even admit it to myself."

Finally something she can understand. Far more than he may realize, in fact. But it doesn't change the reality of where they stand.

Donna shakes her head and starts to let go of his hand but he grips it tighter.

"You're the one who drew the line, Donna. How the fuck was I supposed to know that you'd changed your mind?" His eyes turn dark and brooding. "You made it clear a long time ago that you didn't want me that way." His jaw ticks as he clenches his teeth. "That we would never be more than friends."

His words hit her like a slap across the face. She gets the distinct feeling that he's waited a long time to say that out loud.

"I don't know what you're talking about!"

She pulls her hands free. All of this is just too much and her head is spinning mercilessly. When she turns away, Harvey clarifies his meaning to her back and stops her in her tracks.

"Don't worry, Harvey. I know this doesn't change things between us. Best friends forever."

A direct quote of the note she'd left him after the one and only time they had let their guards down. The glorious night when they stripped away their armor and let themselves love.

The icy tone in which he recites it back to her cuts to the bone and at first she cannot bear to turn and face him. But in a matter of seconds, that pain and regret morphs into something else completely.

"Don't you dare try to pin this mess on me, Harvey!" She spins around, and luckily the park is basically deserted because now she is most definitely shouting. "We were just kids back then! You were the one who filled my head with the idea of a proposal." She moves right up into his face. Both of them clenching their fists and snarling. "'Let's start a family together' you said." Her voice cracks despite the fact that she's more angry than hurt at this point. "And then… then you break things off with Scottie and take me off to Paris." Donna swipes angrily at the tears running down her cheek. "God, Harvey! Did you ever stop to consider what I thought that trip was about?"

Now it's Harvey trying to put the pieces together. She can see his mind racing as he stands in front of her with his mouth hanging open. She gives him a beat. Maybe two. But when he just stares back at her, she scoffs in disgust.

"You can go to the fucking tailor on your own."

And with blood pumping wildly through her veins and her heart shattering into a million pieces, she turns on her heel and leaves him standing there alone.