Disclaimer: I am a woman, not a man. Here's my attempt to write a bro moment lol.

"What do I do to make you want me? What have I got to do to be heard? What do I say when it's all over and sorry seems to be the hardest word?" – Elton John, 1976

James Potter's eyes slowly fluttered open. He couldn't quite tell where he was, but there seemed to be a strange crackling noise coming from his right. He had no idea what time it was, but knew he already had a hangover.

He squinted and fumbled around for his glasses, licking his dry lips. James then retrieved his frames and slowly sat up to survey the damage. The Marauders were alone, but had all passed out by the fire in the Gryffindor common room; Peter was twitching and snoring, Remus had curled up into little a ball and Sirius claimed the floor, sprawled out like his animagus. James knew they should try and get to bed to be out of public view, but he was too tired to care. He groaned, took a brief look at his watch, and upon learning it was 3:50 AM, groaned even louder and snuggled into his blanket to fall back asleep.

It was a mistake he would soon regret.

"Potter … Potter … Potter! … Merlin, WAKE UP!"

James awoke with a start after an unknown force pushed him out of his chair. He almost broke his glasses (which he had forgotten to remove from earlier, dammit!) as he tumbled onto Sirius, who emitted a loud, surprised yelp. This, of course, caught Remus' attention.

"Lily …"

James felt his heart begin to race as his stomach took a turn. No, no it couldn't be Lily! Why did it have to be her? He glanced behind him and met her steely resolve; it was her alright, dressed in her morning exercise clothes, and she did not look happy.

James took in a large breath and begrudgingly picked himself up off the floor while Sirius growled and rolled over onto his back. Remus thought it was a good idea for him to stand up as well, but immediately sat back down when he almost lost his balance. He was still drunk. James took the moment to brace himself for the oncoming storm he was about to weather.

"Look, I can expl-"

"Don't even bother, Potter," Lily fumed.

As James adjusted his glasses, he realized he was glad she hadn't pressed him any further. He couldn't 100% remember everything that had happened after the guests went back to their respective common rooms at curfew … He rubbed his temples and noticed that he had ripped his black dress slacks at some point during the night. As James bent over to find out how big the tear actually was, he realized he didn't remember damaging his pants at all.

"Bugger," James muttered.

"Are you mental? Seriously, I want to know."

Peter finally decided to join the conversation as he let out a rather large yawn; Lily scoffed just as loud as she placed her hands over her chest. James frowned deeply and leaned on the chair next to him for support. His eyes flittered between Peter and Lily, finally settling on Lily. He desperately wanted a glass of water and shower, but knew he had to answer her first.

"Listen -"

"You know what? There's nothing to explain. You clearly can't handle responsibility," she said, throwing her hands up into the air. "You just do whatever you want and expect the rest of us to pick up the slack."

"Lily, please -"

"No," she spat, "you've gone too far this time, James Potter."

There was a palpable silence before she continued.

"Last night after my patrol, I found Alice sleeping in bed with a rubbish bin next to her head. She was drunk, but she started puking slugs when I asked her what she'd been doing and that's when I knew you were behind this. That hex had your childish behavior written all over it."

"That was actually Remus' idea," Peter muttered.

Lily's face burned as she turned to face the former Prefect; Remus looked up at her with pleading, glassy eyes. She sighed and shook her head, while James felt tears began to prickle his eyes. His tried to move his lips to form a brilliant, romantic apology but his tongue was stuck to the wall of his dry mouth. He couldn't speak. He couldn't move.

"You don't know how much I want to report you to Dumbledore," Lily said, furious. "I could have you expelled if I really wanted to." James sucked in a large breath as his eyes widened. He was petrified. "However, I'm prepared to make a deal with you."

"A deal?" he squeaked, raising his brow slightly.

"Yes, you toerag! I won't tell Dumbledore about your little party if you leave me alone for the rest of the year," she answered and tapped her foot against the floor in triumph.

His chest felt tight. He felt like he was underwater and gasping for air.

"And I mean alone. No more Quidditch moves to impress me. No more asking me out. No more proposals. We will only talk when we have to. Otherwise, I don't want you anywhere near me. You got it?"

He blinked several times in confusion. She snapped next to his left ear, causing him to yelp in surprise.

"Yeah, I got it," he whimpered as he rubbed the side of his head. "I'll leave you alone."

"Good," she said smugly, "now go clean yourself up. It looks like you have vomit on your shirt."

She turned on her heel towards the common room door and made her exit. He looked up at the ceiling, internally berating himself before deflating and collapsing into the chair he had been leaning on. Sirius finally picked himself up off the floor and settled into another chair next to him so they were all in a circle. The Marauders sat in silence for several minutes as they listened to the fire crackle and adjusted to the early morning hour.

"Why is she even up this early? Merlin, it's 5:56! On a Sunday!"

"She goes running on the Quidditch pitch before everyone wakes up … she doesn't want anyone to see her," James wheezed.

"Of course you would know that," said Sirius, rolling his eyes. "Stalker."

"We should go upstairs," Remus whispered in shame. "So no one else finds us in this state."

The rest of them nodded in agreement and took several minutes to collect themselves and trudge up the stairs. At first, Remus was still a little too drunk to stand on his own, but he eventually found his legs and made his way to bed like the others.

James held his chest as he took several deep breaths and felt an invisible hand unclench his lungs. He closed his eyes and leaned back in his bed, trying not to think of Lily's piercing green eyes. He should have known she was going to wake up early and find them, how could he have been so stupid?

There was another long pause before anyone spoke again.

"What happened last night?" James finally asked. "I only remember some things."

"It's hazy for me," Remus grimaced.

"I just want to sleep forever," Peter groaned as he placed his head on the pillow next to him and closed his eyes.

"I'm so sorry, Prongs," Sirius confessed. "I didn't think Evans would find out about the party and blackmail you to fuck off."

"It's ok, Padfoot," James sighed as he held his face in his hands. He placed his glasses on top of his head and rubbed his eyes sluggishly. "It's my own damn fault. I should have been more careful."

He heard Sirius pull out his wand and mutter several spells; he pulled down his glasses and after blinking a few times, focused his eyes on the object in front of him. It was a cold glass of water. He quickly reached out to grab it and soon, the water trickled down his throat. James felt instant relief.

"Thanks, Padfoot," he said in between gulps. Sirius nodded to him and conjured up three more glasses for Remus, Peter and himself. The room fell silent again as the Marauders quenched their thirst and slowly started to piece the night before back together in their heads. When James finally set his empty glass down on his bedside table, it instantly refilled itself.

"Well I remember having a few drinks when everyone was still there," Peter began. "No one was too bad - I think everyone went back to their common rooms around 9. Aeryn wanted me to leave with her and snuggle, but I didn't because I wanted to stay out … We got in a bit of a tiff actually, but … what did we really do for the rest of the evening? I don't remember much."

"We kept drinking obviously," Remus answered. "And somehow made it back to the common room without being caught." The werewolf hiccupped and Sirius laughed softly and pointed at his mortified face.

"I remember enjoying the band and talking to them as they packed up," James said, scratching his head, "but then you found me, Padfoot. I was in a shit mood and you were in a shit mood so we decided we wanted to stay in the classroom and get really drunk after hours ... if I remember correctly."

"Why the mood?" Remus said after sipping his refilled water. "You looked like you were having a blast. I thought we were just drinking after hours like old times …"

"Well I was enjoying myself," James replied, "but then as everyone was leaving and talking about getting home before curfew, I remembered that I was Head Boy and bending the rules on the second night of the term."

He sighed and buried his head back into his hands. The negative feelings from the night before washed over him and he felt defeated and depressed. It hurt to breathe. He ran his hands through his messy hair and reached out for his water. After several gulps, he continued.

"All I want to do is prank the living snot out of Snivellus, but I can't. With this new badge, I have sit in meetings and plan things. I have to be a role model. I have to be responsible."

He caught Remus' forlorn look out of the corner of his eye and grimaced.

"Fucking hell, I'm sorry, Moony, I shouldn't have said those things. I'm a twat - I know how much you wanted to be Head Boy. Merlin, I really don't deserve this position! I'm a failure!"

"No," Remus said softly before hiccupping again, "don't say that, James. I'll admit I was angry when I didn't get the badge. But I think I figured it out when I was watching you dancing on top of one of the tables."

James sucked in a breath; dancing on a table was something he didn't remember doing.

"Dumbledore knew I was one of the best candidates, but … I have more important things to be focusing on … like my NEWTs and finding a suitable career path after I leave school. It would be too much of a burden for me to do all of it at the same time … He also knew you mucked around and didn't always learn from your mistakes … although you seemed to turn yourself around the end of last term, which was uncharacteristic … So you see? He's testing you to see if you're going to rise to the occasion. And I don't think he would have done that if he didn't believe in you."

"You should have been a Ravenclaw, Remus," Peter guffawed.

"He's just thinking differently because he's still drunk," muttered Sirius.

"You're right, Moony," James said as he lifted his head up off the table and smiled. "He is testing me, isn't he?" He took several unimpeded breaths and felt the color rush back to his face. It was going to be ok. He was going to be fine. "This is only a minor setback, not the end of the world. I'm not a failure, I'm just a beginner. I can learn."

James' smile turned into a large grin as he closed his eyes and leaned back into his bed. Relief washed over him and his breaths were deeper and more confident. He could be an excellent Head Boy; he just needed to practice being responsible first. It was a challenge he was willing to accept.

"At least Evans didn't expel you," Sirius said with a small point of his finger. "That would have been the end of the world."

"Merlin, she really did almost expel me, didn't she?" James joked as his hands fell to his sides. However, his laughter quickly died on his lips when he realized the implications of their deal. No more love letters. No more trying to eavesdrop on her conversations at mealtimes. No more tantrums when she showed another male student affection.

James clenched and unclenched his fists.

Every fiber of his being told him to keep pursuing Lily, but his brain felt exhausted. He was tired of chasing her when nothing seemed to work. Maybe he needed to apply his responsibility logic to his unrequited romance - maybe it was time to grow up and actually listen to what she was saying instead of making wild judgments about her feelings towards him. He wouldn't stop loving her, but if she wanted him out of her life that badly, then he would leave her alone.

He suddenly felt something rise up from inside him. What if she was testing him too? He couldn't be sure; critical thinking hurt his brain when he was this hungover. He rubbed his temples and out of the corner of his eye, saw Sirius frowning.

"You alright there, mate? Where were you before we found each other?"

"Around," Sirius grumbled as he crossed his arms over his chest.

"Around?" James questioned. "Moony and I just bared our souls here, you're going to have to come up with a better answer than that."

"Fine," Sirius huffed as he rolled his eyes, "I snuck away from the party with Gio's friend - you know, the blonde who hangs around with the band, the one with the big rose tattoo." James saw his stormy grey eyes flash. "We … we shagged. And I can't stop thinking about it."

"It was that good, eh?" Peter joked and James glared at him when Sirius didn't laugh.

"It was more than good," Sirius said with a sigh. "It was the best I've ever had. I don't know what it is about her - but … I can't get her out of my thoughts. Her laugh is still bouncing around in my head and it's not helping my hangover. At this point, all I want to do is stick my head in a bag of cinnamon."

He burried his face in his pillow and James felt his eyes pop out of his sockets. This was not typical Sirius behavior.

"Sounds like someone is in lurve," Remus slurred. The werewolf laughed as Sirius glared back at him. "Come on. Do you hear yourself?"

"What do you know about love, Remus?" he countered, choosing not to use his nickname. The sandy hair Gryffindor paused before masking his grimace by taking a sip of water.

"More than you know, Sirius," he muttered. James knitted his brows, puzzled.

"Look, I'm the only one with a girlfriend. I should have the final say here about love," Peter said as he pushed himself up against his pillows and waved his arms around. He began to unknowingly rant. "Sirius, you've flittered around from bird to bird - sure you've had girlfriends before but the relationships have never lasted very long. So you fancy this one? Stop moping and go get her! Enjoy female company for once."

He then turned to James and pointed his finger in his face.

"We all know you're in love but you just don't know how to contain yourself. You know, you would have never actually gotten expelled – you didn't break enough rules for that, you would have just lost points and scored a lot of detention - and Evans knew it. She scared you into doing what she wanted because you've never let her breathe. So take her advice and leave her alone. It might do you some good."

The boy then wheeled around to Remus.

"And you? I haven't figured it out yet but I've been watching you. You're depressed all the time. You're not telling us something. So just tell us! … Nevermind, back to Padfoot and love. Love is like a game of wizard's chess - it's about self-preservation and waiting for the opportune moment. Once you find it, you take it. That's the only way to win and get what you want!"

"Merlin Wormtail, how are you so honest and passionate at this early hour?" Sirius said as he mimed cleaning out his ears.

"And so insightful?" Remus added.

"I'm sorry," Peter huffed and shrunk back onto his bed, shaking his head. "I'm just hungover and in a bad mood because I know Aeryn's still mad at me. I didn't mean anything I just said. Don't listen to me."

The boys fell silent again as they processed their conversation. Sirius ran a hand through his hair and exhaled noisily; Remus slowly took another sip of his water. As Peter leaned back with a slight smile on his face, James straightened his glasses to hide the tears that prickled his eyes once again.

"Alright, I'm going back to sleep. See you when I wake up."

He flopped over onto his other side before anyone had the chance to answer. James knew Peter was right, but he still felt empty, cold and hollow. He gulped and then held a hand to his chest to slow his breathing. He looked up at the ceiling and tightly gripped one of his pillows with his other hand.

"Goodbye my Lily Flower," he whispered as tears began to pour down his cheeks. "I'll always love you."

Author's Note: First of all, lol at snarky drunk Remus. Aaaaaand here comes evil Peter!

Would love to hear from you in a review! What do you like so far?