Disclaimer: "Putain de merde" is French slang … The English equivalent would be something like "Fucking hell" or "Fucking shit".
"Don't cry, don't raise your eye. It's only teenage wasteland." – The Who, 1971
Sirius Black sighed, ran a hand through his long hair and fished his pocket watch out of his stylishly cut, black dress robes. He swore when he saw the time.
"Hurry up! We're late!"
"Ugh!" Gemma yelled from the other side of the bathroom door. He heard a soft grumbling sound and then a long string of expletives. "I told you things would go faster if you let me get ready in my dormitory! I don't know where anything is in here!"
"It's not my fault you didn't wake us up on time," he countered as he placed his hands on the door that separated them. His fingers rapped against the wood in a very bored fashion.
"It's not my fault you looked so fit after your Quidditch practice!" she teased as she cracked the door open enough to stick her head out and wag her tongue in his direction. "I just had to shag you, baby! And that made us both very tired, hence the extended nap …"
"Well if you're going to take forever, at least let me see your dress. I know you picked out something groovy during our last Hogsmeade trip." His voice oozed with sensuality and longing.
"You're just going to have to be patient!" she cackled as she slammed the bathroom door shut.
"Gemma," Sirius groaned as he placed his hands back on the door and hung his head in frustration. "We've already missed the beginning of the Ball. Don't you want to see Gio play?"
"We've been over this, Sirius," she replied. "I've been to every rehearsal - I don't need to see them play right this minute. Can't we just relax?"
"But they're your friends!"
"Ah, ah, ah," he heard her tut. "Don't play that card, dear. You're friends with Remus, but you don't want to see him right now. Because you want to avoid Marlene."
"Not true," Sirius sulked. A couple of stray hairs fell in front of his stormy grey eyes and with a large huff, he blew them out of his face.
"You smarmy git! I can hear it in your tone. You don't want things to be awkward. You know I'm right!" Her voice was soft and playful, but cunningly accusatory. It hit a nerve and Sirius quickly pushed himself away from the door, throwing his hands into the air.
"I don't like your tone. You know, speaking of Remus, I see the way you interact. You can't keep your eyes off him -"
The bathroom door immediately swung open and Gemma positioned herself in the doorway, her features bold and ready. Her blonde hair was pulled back into a low, messy bun and she had painted her lips deep red to match her long sleeved, draping gown with a conservative neckline.
"That's not fair!" Gemma cut in, stomping one of her black heels against the ground in anger. "You've accused me twice now of being too close to other blokes, but I don't get to hint about your past with Marlene?"
"There's nothing to say about Marlene!"
"There's nothing to say about Remus, either! That boy is a bloody friend to me. Nothing more."
"Then why does he act so comfortable around you? Moony never does that with girls. He's nice to them, sure, but he totally accepts you like you're a Marauder – and you barely speak to him outside of me!"
"It's because I know he's a werewolf, Sirius!" Gemma cried, finally breaking her secret.
She grunted and brushed past him to grab her pack of cigarettes on his nightstand. But her indiscrete nudge was not the only thing that sent Sirius tumbling backwards in shock. As Gemma quickly placed a cigarette in her mouth, she revealed her rose trellis tattoo; her gown dipped from the top of her shoulders down to the middle of her back. The Gryffindor desperately reached out and steadied himself against his bedpost as she lit up in front of him. He found her to be absolutely breathtaking.
"Shit!" Gemma yelped, realizing that she was breaking a Marauder rule by smoking in their dormitory. She frantically tried to put out her cigarette on one of his other bedposts and panted softly as she looked for a place to set it down.
"Shhhh," Sirius cooed behind her as he placed his hands on her shoulders. She put the cigarette on his bedside table and sighed deeply as she hunched forward. Sirius frowned when he looked down at her body art; the once vibrantly red roses were slowly turning brown and weak.
"Do you remember when you asked me about my big dreams and I said I couldn't tell you? Well, I was seeing Remus - his past and possible future. I know that he's a werewolf and all of you are all animagi to help him transform every Full Moon … I accidentally let it slip, so he knows I know, and I've been trying to get his attention to talk to him more about it, but he's being a sneaky bugger."
"Why didn't you tell me you knew?" Sirius questioned, taken aback by the new information.
"How was I supposed to do that? Oh hey, by the way, I know your best friend is a werewolf and you can turn into a large black dog. Isn't that funny, since your name is Sirius, like the Dog Star? Ok goodnight, see you in the morning!"
"Fine," he conceded as he rubbed her arms softly. "You're right, it is a hard subject to bring up."
"You know what else is? Your jealousy," Gemma finally said as she turned around to face him. "You said you wouldn't do it again."
Sirius gulped and looked down at his shoes. He took a moment to gather his thoughts, not entirely comfortable psychoanalyzing himself, but pushing himself to do it anyways for the sake of his relationship.
"I'm sorry," he conceded. "I'm not used to being around someone that makes me so happy … I guess that makes it hard for me to share you with others. I don't want to let you out of my sight."
"Just because I'm close with other people doesn't mean that I'm abandoning you," Gemma said, putting her hands on her hips.
"You're right," Sirius agreed with a grim smile. "And I'm going to have to be better about drilling that into my head every time a bad thought comes up. It's just … something that's hard for me to do. I've been fighting for so long – against my family, their ideology - that it's just ingrained in me now, I suppose."
He felt unexpected tears start to form in his eyes; he looked away, wiping them away on the back of his sleeve. He hated being emotional like this.
"I understand if you want to leave me, though. Given that I broke my promise."
Gemma gasped and quickly wrapped him in a large, comforting hug. Sirius stumbled back a bit in surprise, but ultimately melted into her embrace as he felt a tear roll down his face.
"You're not getting rid of me that easily," she muttered into his chest. "I'm not leaving."
He took a deep breath and let out a shaky laugh, ecstatic that she hadn't walked out on him. She tilted her head upward and gently smiled before as she ran a hand over his cheek to wipe away his tear. He noticed that her roses were turning red again, matching the shade of her dress.
"I love you," he whispered urgently.
"I know. But really, Remus? Out of all people to fancy, you think I'm going to go after a bloke who's been in love with a French aristocrat for the past two years? There's no way I'm more attractive than Marianne Minot!"
Sirius' jaw dropped in extreme shock.
"Oh, fuck. That little bugger never told you, did he?"
"REMUS JOHN LUPIN!"
Remus Lupin's head whipped around with a crack! as he strained to identify who was yelling his name. It didn't take long for him to see Sirius barreling towards him, his lip curled with contempt as he pushed a few Second Years out of his way. Sirius then pulled Remus away from Marlene and dragged him by his second hand, grey dress robes to the other side of the Hall. The rest of the Marauders quickly noticed this act of aggression and followed their two friends; Lily started spewing conversation to keep Aeryn distracted and Gemma floated behind the boys, quietly apologizing to the rest of the students and telling them to mind their own business.
"What is wrong with you?" Remus cried after Sirius shoved him into a corner. "Why the bloody hell are you acting so rough?"
"Muffliato. When were you going to tell us about Marianne?" Sirius growled.
"What about her?" James asked as he adjusted his black frames.
"He's in love with her - has been for the past two years. And during the first Hogsmeade trip of this term, she tried to kiss him and he ran away."
"Merlin!" Peter exclaimed as he ran his fingers through his light hair. "Why have you never told us this, Moony?"
Remus gulped and tugged at the collar of his dress robes, clearly uncomfortable. He shuddered under his friends' harsh gazes and felt like his mouth was filled with cotton balls.
"Well, I was planning on telling you at the end of term," he muttered dismally.
"Why didn't you tell us years ago?" Peter interrogated.
"Because!" the werewolf said. "You don't know how hard it is to constantly see someone you love, but know you can never be with them."
"What are you talking about?" James asked in disbelief. "You would make an excellent couple!"
"I'm beneath Marianne," Remus finally wheezed after a long pause. His insides painfully constricted and he grimaced as he wrapped an arm across his stomach. His face suddenly turned ashen.
"That girl does not seem like the type to care about your status or blood," Sirius said skeptically.
"Her family is wealthier than the Malfoys!" Remus cried out. "You honestly think her family would ever let her be with a lowly … creature like me? Now, wait a minute, how do you know all of this information?"
"That's my fault," Gemma said meekly as she peeked out from behind Sirius and raised her hand in the air. "I accidentally let it slip."
"How does she know?" Peter asked.
"She's a Seer, Wormtail," Sirius answered. "She's seen Remus in her dreams. She knows everything – about all of us."
Peter cursed softly.
"I'm so sorry," Gemma pleaded as she reached out to grab Remus' hand. "I didn't know you hadn't told them, honest!" He saw the sadness in her eyes and immediately snapped his arm away from her, his embarrassment turning into extreme stubbornness.
"So now I finally know why Marianne has been acting like a stroppy cow for the past month or so," James muttered to himself.
"I don't think she has a date tonight," Peter said. "Rumor has it that she rejected everyone who asked."
"She's clearly been a wreck, then. How could you just leave her hanging there?" Sirius asked.
Remus twitched and started to aggressively bite his fingernails. He had been asking himself that very question ever since their kiss, but never could bring himself to answer it. His relationship with Marianne was too torturous to think about, which was why he always tried to forget it existed. Her normally sleek hair turned long and unruly, the bags under her eyes got darker every day, and she was overly aggressive when provoked ... but he never spoke to her to see if she was alright. Instead, he threw himself into a bottle of firewhiskey to drown his sorrows.
"You have to apologize," Sirius demanded.
"What? No!"
"Moony, you have to do it," James said. "We made a rule during our Third Year. If you ever start acting irrational about your lycanthropy, one of us gets to smack you across the face. Now I'm not going to do that in public, but stop being such a dim wit and go snog the hell out of Marianne before you both cause each other any more pain! Forget her family!"
"I saw her go outside for a cigarette a minute ago, does she have a favorite spot or something?" Peter offered with a nudge.
Remus stumbled backwards in shock. However, his guarded walls slowly began to crumble when he realized he was running out of excuses. Gradually, the werewolf felt a smile creep onto his face when he finally accepted that James was completely right. He was acting irrational; he needed to apologize. A blazing confidence suddenly filled him as Tarantellegra launched into a fast paced song and as his gaze wandered, he caught Gemma's amused expression. She winked lightheartedly, but their silent conversation ended when Marlene stomped over to their location. James reversed the earlier privacy spell.
"What is going on here?" Marlene demanded. For a brief moment, time stood still and Remus cocked his head to the side as he inspected his Winter Ball date. And then it hit him. Instead of taking Marianne to the Ball, he had inadvertently brought someone exactly like her – a rich, pureblood Seventh Year Ravenclaw with short brown hair and light eyes. What the hell was he doing?
"I have to go," he stated and then with a swish of his robes, promptly left his date behind.
Remus practically sprinted towards the large front doors and wormed his way through the annoying couples in order to get out to the Main Courtyard. He followed the instinctive feeling in his gut and didn't need the Map to tell him exactly where to find her. As his pace slowed down to a leisurely walk, he slunk behind one of the stone columns at the edge of the courtyard and tried to keep in the shadows. Although the figure next to him was covered in a large black cloak, Remus knew it was Marianne.
Yet after Marianne turned her head to the side to take a puff from her skinny black cigarette holder, her eyes flashed when they settled on him. Remus felt his heartbeat cease to exist and her spiteful energy cut through him like a knife; he finally understood William Congreve's famous line, "Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, nor hell a fury like a woman scorned".
"Piss off, Lupin," the Ravenclaw sneered and after a quick flick of her cigarette, snobbishly jutted her chin in the other direction.
Against his better judgment, Remus stepped towards her, desperate to understand her anger and make things right between them. Marianne turned, growled and pointed her wand at him with extreme wickedness written all over her heavily made up face. Remus started to physically shake as his breath caught in his throat; the pureblood looked nefarious in her expensive, black, grey and white robes. The thousands of sequins on her ombre, scalloped skirt shimmered in the moonlight as she jutted out her wand protectively, her arms covered in black satin gloves.
"Don't test me," she snarled.
"Marianne," Remus said breathlessly, "what has happened to you?"
"You have no right to ask me that!"
"Yes I do, I care about you -"
"You care about me?" she asked incredulously. "No, you're a heartless bastard, I think you're incapable of caring."
"That's not true -"
"I don't want to hear it!" the pureblood yelled, nudging her wand towards him again.
"Please, Marianne, there's something I have to tell you -"
"Putain de merde! I said I don't want to hear -"
Remus did the only thing he could think of and started kissing her just as passionately as she had during their previous encounter. However, this time Marianne did not respond in kind. Instead of wrapping her arms around him and deepening the kiss, she reached out and smacked him across the face. Hard. The slap echoed across the snowy courtyard and Remus staggered backwards, bewildered and astounded.
"How dare you kiss me," Marianne seethed. "After you rejected me before and took Marlene to the Ball. I don't care what you have to tell me, I never want to speak to you again."
Yet, for one brief moment, her stoic and malicious mask cracked and he saw all of the tremendous emotional distress behind her glassy green eyes. But seconds later, it was gone. With a swish of her expensive cloak, she put her mask back on, threw her cigarette to the ground, and walked out of the courtyard, leaving the werewolf helpless and alone.
James Potter let out an extremely large, flustered breath as he paced back and forth; Lily looked at the floor, Peter squeezed Aeryn's hand, and Sirius softly nestled his head in the crook of his Gemma's neck. The group clustered around the Great Hall doors, eager to hear the outcome of their friend's confession.
"I hate waiting," James groaned as he threw his head back in frustration.
"I hope he doesn't screw this up," Sirius muttered and Gemma giggled softly as his breath tickled the side of her neck.
"He'll be fine," she reassured. "He knows what to do." As the Seer began to ruffle her boyfriend's long hair, James saw a slight twinkle in her eye. It was almost as if she knew something they didn't.
"I hope you're right," Peter grumbled. "I hate it when he sulks like this. He's no fun."
James gulped, very much agreeing with him. The concerned friends stood silent as the live band started up into a slow blues song. The mood turned serious and moments later, the group finally saw Remus trudge through the large wooden doors of the Great Hall. He looked abysmal; his skin was extremely pale and although his cheeks were dry, the Gryffindor's eyes were red and swollen with grief.
"Remus, what happened?" Lily asked softly.
"She hates me," he spat, his fickle mood turning extremely terse and abrupt.
James stood in silence, processing. Although he wasn't good friends with Marianne, he had patrolled with her enough to know that she was not a judgmental person. She didn't seem like the type of girl to disown someone because of his or her background. There had to be something Remus wasn't telling them. What had really set her off?
"I don't believe it," Gemma whispered incredulously as her expression turned worried and strained, as if she knew things weren't going according to plan. "How can that be?"
"Well it's true," Remus snarled as he pulled out a conveniently disguised flask from deep inside his robes. He took a long, hard swig before glaring at the Hufflepuff. "So I guess you're wrong - letting someone in makes things exponentially worse, not better." And after another low, guttural snarl, he swiftly exited the Great Hall. James jumped into action and tried to follow his best friend to try and console him, but Sirius held out a hand to stop him.
"Let him be, Prongs," he muttered. "He needs to let off some steam." James sighed. He subconsciously bit his lip as he rubbed the base of his skull.
"Where did Gemma go?" Aeryn asked. "She was here a second ago." Sirius peered around to search for his girlfriend, but she was nowhere to be seen.
"She must have gone out for a cigarette," Peter offered. "I'll find her, I've got the Ma –"
"Yeah, yeah, you're the former smoker, you know all the hotspots," James said over him, discretely covering up his friend's error so no one heard about the Map. "Go."
Peter nodded and then slowly crept out of the Hall. The Head Boy took a deep breath and decided to resume his post; he knew that if he distracted himself with work, he would be able to cope with his confusing reality. His eyes scanned the room for any trouble and quickly noticed that Davies and Snape were both glaring back at him. His expression hardened.
"So wait," Aeryn said to no one in particular, "let me get this straight. Remus has loved Marianne for years, but never said anything. And then shekissed him. And then he ran away? And now she hates him?"
James gulped, unsure how to proceed as a dreadful pit formed in his stomach. He knew Peter had never told Aeryn their friend's deep, dark secret - and was very thankful for that fact - but as she tapped her foot waiting for an answer, the Gryffindor recognized that sooner or later, she was going to have to be brought into their inner circle. At this point, it was enviable that she would figure everything out.
"Yes, that's correct," James finally responded, not knowing what else to say.
"Sounds like Marianne has a broken heart then," Aeryn shrugged, as if it was extremely obvious. "She's mad at him for rejecting her."
James' eyebrows shot up. Her interpretation did seem to make sense.
"Aeryn," Lily said, breaking the tension and changing topic to avoid further discussion about Remus' love life. "Is that Ophelia Milligram wearing your dress?"
Her distraction worked. Aeryn whipped her head back and forth, and when she finally saw the Seventh Year Slytherin on the other side of the room, cried out desperately. They were indeed wearing the same capped sleeve, black and gold gown. James couldn't help but let his face break out into a large grin as he caught his girlfriend's devious expression. She was saving his arse - just as she had during their last major Prefects meeting - and the glimmer in her eye told him she was happy to do it.
As James held Lily's gaze, the world turned brighter. He glanced down and took in the way her handmade dark blue dress robes, littered with sparkles and tiny outlines of stars, clung to her body and gleamed in the candlelight; his matching, store bought ones weren't as impressive. The grand crystal chandeliers flickered and illuminated the vast dance floor even further, but the starry night sky above them suddenly turned dark and grey and swiftly began to shower the students with a soft layer of snowflakes. James' face lit up and he stuck out his tongue desperately to catch one of the falling objects. Yet, once the snowflake hit his mouth, it popped and vanished into the air.
"It's like a giant bubble machine, but with snowflakes!" Aeryn squealed. "And without the watery mess!"
"Lily," James stated in shock, "you didn't tell me you were planning on doing this!" The Head Girl rolled her eyes, shrugged playfully, and then smiled when she caught his gaze once more. The rest of the students in the room clapped and gleefully danced in the snow shower as Tarantellegra finished their song.
"Now this next one goes out to all the Muggleborns in attendance here tonight!" Gio said into the microphone and strummed the opening chords to The Allman Brothers' Midnight Rider. As the band picked up speed, pockets of students began to shout in delight and Lily's face exploded with excitement.
"I love this song," she gushed. She quickly reached out and grabbed his hand, pulling him towards the other side of the room. James saw Sirius extend a hand to Aeryn and the four of them poured onto the dance floor, joining the other Hogwarts students. James watched as Lily moved her arms and shook her hips to the beat and when she caught him staring, she gave him a sassy, come hither look.
"Merlin, you continue to surprise me every single day," James laughed and affectionately enveloped her with his arms. They both locked eyes, oblivious to everyone else around them.
"I never thought I'd say this, but I love you, James Potter," she beamed, unable to contain her large smile.
"And I love you, my dear. I will love you until the day I die!"
Peter Pettigrew panted heavily as he stopped to catch his breath at the top of the Astronomy Tower. He had been tracking Gemma for the past fifteen minutes, but it seemed that she had evaded him once again. He hit his chest, loosening up the mucus in his lungs, and heaved again. When he was finally able to breathe properly, he stood up to his full stature and let out a sigh of relief.
"Where the bloody hell could that girl be now?" he muttered when he realized that he hadn't come any closer to completing his mission. He turned to head towards the entrance back into the Castle when he felt his blood run cold. His animalistic senses immediately took a hold of him and he sniffed the air cautiously.
"Hello, Peter."
"Luciana," he replied breathlessly, instantly recognizing her spicy scent that hung in the cold night air. The boy's blood began to race with anticipation. He turned around and saw her casually leaning against the snowy railing, dressed in an expensive, corseted black velvet gown. She took a large drag from her cigarette as her cloak dipped devilishly down her left shoulder.
The logical side of Peter's brain immediately told him to run back to his best friends and girlfriend in the Great Hall … but the greedy side told him to take his time. Desire coursed through his veins as the Slytherin looked him up and down and he reveled in her stare. She was such a dark beauty and could have the company of anyone in the Castle, but here she was, tempting him again. He puffed up his chest, swelling with vanity and pride. She considered him to be worthy of her attentions, which meant that he was not just some weakling that followed around the most popular blokes at Hogwarts.
Luciana was too magnetic and enticing for his brain to handle and when she licked her lips, he wanted her to devour him whole. He couldn't explain it, but something inside him told him that she was the ultimate woman and he needed to let her dominate him. After all, hadn't they just encouraged Remus to give into his desires and stop being such a coward?
"I haven't seen you out here in awhile," she drawled before taking another puff. "Have you been trying to kick your nicotine habit?"
"Yes," the boy replied sheepishly as he scratched the back of his head. "I haven't had a cigarette in over a month now."
"Good for you," she sneered and then blew smoke in his direction. Peter felt his hand shake and became agitated as his slumbering craving roared to life. The cigarette smoke was teasing and taunting him to give in and he finally let a big sigh and held out his hand.
"You wouldn't happen to have a spare, would you?"
"I thought you'd never ask," the Slytherin cackled softly as she reached into her black purse and pulled out a pack of cigarettes. She tugged out a slender stick and Peter immediately trotted over to her. Yet, when he tried to pull the cigarette out of her grasp, she grabbed his wrist and clenched it menacingly.
"Ah, ah, ah," Luciana teased. "Not so fast."
Her smirk grew exponentially when he began to shiver under her touch. Luciana swiftly let go and then circled around him, like a snake in the grass stalking its prey. When she completed her turn, she nodded approvingly. She slipped the cigarette back between her fingers and Peter suddenly realized what that she wasn't offering him a smoke; she was offering him something more than that.
Even though it was below freezing, a trickle of sweat slowly ran down his spine. Was he seriously considering giving into her when he had a loyal girlfriend waiting for him back in the Great Hall?
"You know what this means, now don't you?" the Slytherin questioned. "If you take this cigarette, you're mine. Mine to control."
"W-why would I want that?" Peter stuttered.
"Because I know you like to orbit big stars," Luciana said. "Isn't that why you're friends with Black and Potter?"
Peter looked away, trying not to betray that her assumption was, in fact, true.
"You know I'm a better commander than them," she purred. "And if you follow me, I'm going to make you a man of great consequence, Peter Pettigrew. You will be powerful and terrifying, mark my words."
She said exactly what his sadistic side wanted to hear and like a domino effect, he immediately squashed all his worries about being in too deep. Luciana was his true destiny, not Aeryn and the Marauders. The boys started his education by teaching him how to turn into a rat, but only Luciana would teach him how to master darker, dangerous magic.
He quickly snatched the cigarette out of her grasp and put it in between his lips. Luciana smirked, cupped her hand around the end and lit it with her wand. Peter took a puff and felt a large wave of relaxation crash over him as he inhaled nicotine for the first time in a long time.
"Excellent," she purred as she grabbed his left hand and started to spin his promise ring around his finger. "Now you're going to continue to wear this stupid ring and be your normal, idiotic self so no one suspects anything. But in the meantime, I'm going to train you in the Dark Arts and show you things that would never be allowed inside the classroom. Your pleased expression tells me you're going to love every minute of it. I think I've chosen well!"
Her smirk turned into a satisfied smile as she tightened the collar of his drab colored dress robes.
"Now let me show you what a real woman tastes like."
And with that, Peter sold his soul to the Devil and fell into a treachery that would eventually lead to the deaths of his best friends, James and Lily.