Disclaimer:
When I originally wrote this story, I planned to do another 30+ chapter sequel. Unfortunately, I didn't have the time to write all of it out and I still don't think I do. Therefore, I've collapsed the plot for the sequel into this last chapter one and two epilogue chapters I'm about to write. So if things seem a little smashed together and touch unrealistic, I know. I'm trying here ;D
"Why Don't We Do It in the Road?" is a Beatles song. The Grateful Dead are the Dead and "Stayin Alive" is a Bee Gees song, so you should know I don't own them either ;)
"Let's put a new coat of paint on this lonesome old town. Set 'em up, we'll be knockin' 'em down." – Tom Waits, 1974
Peter Pettigrew took a moment and closed his eyes. He heard the wind rustle through the tree above him, felt the warm air slide across his skin, and when he opened his eyes, watched the gust leave its marks across the glassy smooth surface of the Black Lake. The Marauder sighed and leaned back on his elbows in the grass, watching the colorful sunset. It was a view he would never get tired of.
"I hate to leave this place tomorrow. You know, it was only months ago that we were sitting beneath this very willow, planning Prongs' 'Congrats on becoming Head Boy' do. That turned out to be for Padfoot."
He expected her to elaborate – maybe saying how it didn't really feel that long ago – but when Peter turned his head, he noticed that his girlfriend was absentmindedly playing with a dead blade of grass. He shrugged. If Aeryn wasn't going to continue with the nostalgia, he would have to make up for her lack of input.
"That was a fun night, wasn't it?" Peter said, forgetting that he had ignored her for most of the party and day after. The only thing he could remember was the first time he'd seen Luciana after hours – oh the way she strutted and smoked without a care! He grimaced, berated himself for thinking about her and pushed the memory out of his mind.
"Heh, and then there was the night that Padfoot decided to put Hair Thickening Potion in the Ravenclaw Quidditch team's drinks. That was a laugh. Of course, there also was the first Hogsmeade trip of the year, when I gave you a promise ring." He threw Aeryn a proud smirk. She momentarily looked up from her distraction and then fell back into her routine of picking up a piece of grass and ripping it to shreds.
"And then life was good for awhile, Pads with Gemma and Prongs with Lily. Moony, of course, was an arse. I still can't believe Marianne slapped him at the Winter Ball. I mean, he deserved it, but I didn't think she had it in her."
The Winter Ball. The night he'd pledged himself to Luciana. He shivered and continued.
"But they finally stopped being so bloody stubborn and started meeting in secret. How they did it, I've no idea." But of course, he was lying. He did know what it was like to sneak around with someone he wasn't supposed to. Thankfully Aeryn was too preoccupied to hear his breath hitch with unease.
"And then Prongs' birthday – what a night that was. I know Padfoot was out of it, but Rose? Honestly, he could have picked someone more attractive." Aeryn didn't react to his harsh statement. She continued to pick the patch of dead grass.
"But he said it was the biggest regret of his life and I believe him - there's not a day that bloke doesn't hate himself for snogging someone else. I think that's why he was so torn up when Gemma was attacked by Luciana and never came back."
It was the first time Peter had referred to her by her first name; around his friends, he called her Rosier to avoid any suspicion of familiarity. He paused for a moment - languishing the way her name rolled off his tongue - and ignored Aeryn's slowly blanching face.
"And now we're kind of at the tail end – Prongs and Lily making up, Marianne ending it with Moony, Artro attempting to take over the Ministry …"
He couldn't elaborate any further. In truth, Peter still hadn't gotten over Luciana's expulsion and the recent Death Eater plot. He'd tried to put things behind him, but he couldn't ignore the chronic, anxious tremor in his right hand. He didn't like following the other Marauders around; it didn't feel right anymore. He still wanted to pledge his allegiance Lord Voldemort.
"Do you ever question why the Hat put us in Gryffindor? I mean, what a brave couple we are. You haven't done anything courageous and I like following others. Even when I shouldn't."
He threw her another sideways glance, but instead of seeing an indifferent expression, Peter watched Aeryn's eyes well up with tears. He hadn't expected her genuine despair, and when she confidently set her jaw, he felt dumbfounded. What had he said to offend her? He was only telling the truth.
"I'm brave enough to leave you - I'd say that's pretty courageous."
"Excuse me?"
"I'm breaking things off, Peter."
"What – no – I don't understand!" Aeryn shot to her feet and he quickly followed her when she began to stomp away. "Hey, wait!"
"I'm done," Aeryn quipped. He was appalled by her strength and self-confidence; this was an Aeryn he'd never seen before.
"Look, I know you've been depressed lately, but I can help -"
"Help?" Aeryn exclaimed. "You're the reason I'm depressed!"
"Me?"
"Yes, you!" Aeryn cried as she threw her hands up in the air. Peter's mouth flopped open and he tried to speak, but found he absolutely could not. "When we first started dating I was over the moon, but over time, I saw your true colors. I tried so hard to make you happy, but you were never satisfied. You always had something more important to focus on. Someone else to follow and please."
"Aeryn, I don't think that's fair. I gave you a promise ring!"
"That doesn't matter!" She took a moment to collect her thoughts. "Oh Peter … it's like – it's like I'm on a Muggle rollercoaster, riding the highs of loving you one moment and the lows of hating you the next. And, you know what I finally realized? I honestly can't remember the last time I had a good laugh with you. Once I even thought 'if I have a drink, I'll finally be able to stand him'. You had your moments, but I'm sick and tired of justifying of your hurtful actions by hanging onto the good memories."
"But - but we had a good Valentine's Day, didn't we?"
"You rejected my gift. You haven't used it to this day."
"Aeryn, it's just - I'm trying to get over smoking -"
"No, you aren't!" she exasperated. "I still smell smoke on you!"
Their argument slowly came to a halt and both Gryffindors panted with vexation.
"Why didn't you tell me this sooner?" Peter asked.
"Because I didn't know how to tell you," she responded with a sob. "I didn't understand what was going on … but I started to have feelings for someone else and that's when I knew that I didn't have them for you anymore -"
"What?" Peter said, his face frozen in shock. "You cheated on me?" He quickly put aside the fact that he had done the same to her.
"No," Aeryn growled. "I didn't. I denied myself the pleasure of being with someone who made me feel like I'm walking on air – all because of this." She raised her hand to show her promise ring. "But I'm sorry Peter, it's not working. It hasn't for months."
Peter was speechless as she yanked the ring off her finger; nevertheless, he held out his hand and she dropped it in his palm. He blankly stared at it, still not quite comprehending what was going on.
"You're going to go to the End of Term Feast, take the Express home tomorrow, settle down in a flat that's close to all your mates and get a job at the Ministry. And I hope to Merlin that you find something that makes you happy. Your life will be exciting and adventurous …" She looked down at the ground with a soft grimace. "But I won't be in it. Goodbye, Peter."
He didn't chase after her as she walked away; instead, he looked down at the ring in his hand. He replayed her feisty words over and over again to try and fully process their power and honesty. When he repeated her last words for the fourth time, Peter gulped and felt absolutely guilty for everything he'd ever done to her. He closed his fingers around the ring and shoved it in his trouser pocket.
And I hope to Merlin that you find something that makes you happy.
So what made him happy? What gave him pleasure?
And that's when Peter's face turned dark and treacherous; he felt his hands ball up into fists as a vein in the middle of his forehead swelled with blood. If Aeryn wanted to be with someone who made her feel alive, then he was going to do the same. When he stepped off the Hogwarts Express the next morning, he was going to find Luciana, beg for mercy and fully convert to the enemy camp … and in the meantime, find someone to lend him a smoke.
Because, as sick and twisted as it was, following Lord Voldemort in secret was the only thing that made him feel truly happy.
Remus Lupin stared at the Gryffindor table in front of him. He didn't move for several minutes.
"Oi," James said in his ear. "The Headmaster's speaking, you know."
Remus lethargically lifted his eyes towards the front of the Great Hall and glanced at Dumbledore. If the werewolf had been paying attention, he would have heard the Headmaster beg the graduating Seventh Years to fight injustice with peace and forgiveness. But he only watched the Wizard for a moment before blocking out the rest of the world.
Being joyous and cheery was too hard of a task, he decided. He knew he should have been a more supportive Marauder - since Peter had announced that he and Aeryn were no longer together and he was totally fine, but under no circumstances did he want to talk about it – yet, the news of the abrupt breakup hit too close to home. Remus had leaned on his mates for support after his own heartbreak, but as time passed, his old wounds burst open at unexpected moments and this was usually the result.
And so, Remus barely noticed the plates of food magically disappear. Most of the underclassmen got up from their seats to leave, but all of the Seventh Years remained in the Hall; it was tradition that they stuck around after the Feast to reminisce. Remus thought it was a stupid one, seeing as most people only talked to their friends while the scheming sharks took one last chance to make connections before they went out into the working world.
"That pudding was delicious," Peter said as he gave his belly a pat.
"Can you honestly believe we came in second behind the 'Puffs?" Sirius grinned.
"I don't think Gryffindor has been that close to the House Cup since we walked in this place!" laughed James.
"That's because you lot always mucked up our chances," said Alice. "Your pranks lost us so many points, we always ended up at the bottom!"
"Maybe that's why the old man made you Head Boy," Frank snorted. "Wanted to teach you some responsibility and restore Godric's honor."
"I mended my ways," James said with a smile, "but apparently not enough to win either Cup. But you know, I'm oddly ok with that. You still have to have a little fun every once and awhile." Remus ignored the way James glowed with happiness as he put one hand around his girlfriend's waist and the other in his pocket, wrapping his fingers around something.
"That's why you're my favorite Head Boy," Alice smirked. "You weren't too rebellious or responsible. You balanced both. And I've never heard of a Head Boy throwing a party on the last night of term. It's awesome."
"Shhh," Frank hushed. "It's a selected guest list!"
"Remus?"
As the rest of the group started talking about the various pranks the Marauders had pulled over the years, the werewolf glanced over at Lily.
"Are you alright?"
"I'm fine."
Yet, when he met her gaze, he cowered and studied the table once more. Ever since the redhead had found out about his condition, she'd been nothing but supportive … however Remus couldn't bring himself to share his true feelings. In that moment, he felt the only person he could connect with was Gemma, since she knew what it was like to have a rare magical condition and be in love with someone who was normal. But the last anybody had heard, she was wandering around America. However, when he looked up and realized that he was being an absolute toerag, Remus gave her a soft smile.
"Really," he clarified, "I'm fine."
"If you say so," Lily said with a playful eye roll. Remus smiled and touched her shoulder blade; she smiled back and nodded her head appreciatively.
As he let his arm drop to his side, he pushed himself above his gloom and took a deep breath to savor the moment. This would be his last night at Hogwarts, the last time he would ever set foot in the place he felt the safest. He glanced over at his best mates, who were still busy describing the time Peter had tripped Walter, and fully appreciated everything they had done for him. Because he knew that once he got out into the real world, life would not be as joyous and carefree. There were consequences for being a lycan, and although his friends would always support him, it was a level of prejudice Remus didn't want to experience.
"Seriously," Frank said with awe as they finally started walking out of the Great Hall. "I am going to miss this place." Remus looked up at the starry ceiling and sighed with nostalgia. Suddenly, when he was halfway through the Main Door, he noticed that something was physically holding him back from keeping pace with his friends.
"Remus."
He whipped around, knowing exactly who had uttered his name; his eyebrows lifted in surprise when he saw that Marianne was gripping his hand to get his attention.
"Marianne," he breathed. He had no idea what she was doing.
"I need to talk to you."
"I don't think that's a good idea," the werewolf growled as he brushed her hand away and sped up to catch his friends.
"Remus."
He stopped in his tracks, not caring that the other Gryffindors were fading into the distance. He still missed her as much as he tried to deny it.
"Meet me in fifteen minutes," she said just above a whisper. "You know where." Before he could react, Marianne was gone. He gulped, tried to slow his rapidly beating heart and rejoined his friends.
"I'll see you later," he spat, not wanting to take more time than he needed to.
"Hey! Where are you going?"
"Marianne" was all he needed to say; the others didn't bother him when he ran down the corridor towards the Room of Requirement. When he reached the Seventh Floor, he stopped in front of the door, prepared himself for the familiar beach view and stepped inside. However, the room was completely different this time; Marianne was standing in the middle of a crossroads, surrounded by colonial style houses on all sides.
"Where are we?"
"Cairo," she smiled as the streetlights twinkled around them. She'd chosen to show the Egyptian city during the wee hours of the morning. "I've never been – only seen it in paintings, so I have no idea if this is what it actually looks like."
She nervously twitched and turned away.
"Marianne?" Remus said barely above a whisper.
"Remus – I – I -"
Before he could interrupt, she turned back and thrust a dark red envelope into his hands. A Howler.
"What's this?"
"Oh, you know what it is," Marianne muttered as she started to pace back and forth. "I need you to open it for me. Soon too, otherwise it will explode."
"I don't understand -"
"Open it, you bloody fool!" she exclaimed. Remus gulped and did as she asked.
MARIANNE HORTENSE MINOT, YOU ARE HEREBY DISOWNED FROM THE MINOT FAMILY ESTATE. YOU WILL NO LONGER RECEIVE ANY INHERITANCE, PROPERTY CLAIM OR FAMILIAL RECOGNITION. YOU ARE A DISGRACE.
The message was short, but effective. Marianne bit her lip and looked up at the inky sky. Remus, meanwhile, was in shock. He dropped the burning envelope and felt his blood run cold.
"What have you done?"
"I left," she admitted. "I told them that I was never going to marry a Death Eater or support the Dark Lord. Naturally, they didn't take it very well."
"M-Marianne, how could you?"
"How could I?" she cried. "Remus, how was I supposed to spend the rest of my life with someone who supported Voldemort? I could never live with myself if I was associated with his cult of prejudice and murder!"
Remus remained rooted to the ground. He set his jaw.
"It's risky to leave your family, Marianne. It is certainly the least logical solution to your problem -"
She immediately smacked him across the face.
"Owwww! Bloody hell, woman!"
"You deserved it," she hissed.
He lifted his hand to rub his cheek and they stopped talking, but heaved with intense emotion. Marianne looked up at the ceiling, wiped the streaks of mascara from under her watery eyes and sniffled.
"I don't care that it's the least logical," she said, lifting her chin with pride. "I made my choice."
"But you really didn't think it through, did you?" Remus couldn't help but say. "You have nothing now. No family, no home, no money -"
"I have you."
"Me?" he said in surprise. "You left your wealth and security so you could be with a werewolf?" He stepped towards her, but she didn't flinch. "Marianne, I don't think you realize how unstable I am."
"I know exactly how -"
"No, you don't," he sighed. "I'm unable to get married or have children according to the current Ministry laws. I can never have a proper family."
"That's not true," Marianne said through her teeth.
Remus scoffed, rolled his eyes, threw his hands into the air, turned around and took several paces.
"I knew exactly what I was doing when I left!" Marianne shouted. "I couldn't be in that world, under my father's thumb. So I left – for my own sanity!" He timidly turned around to face her; she had given up on trying to wipe the wet mascara tracks from her face. "I always felt like I was straddling a fence, because I desperately wanted to live up to my family's name while still connecting with you – and by extension, everything the Muggle world had to offer. After Artro's failed coup, I knew I had to take a side and chose to be happy and on my own instead of safe and trapped." She stomped her heel on the ground. "So I don't care if you're a werewolf, or that I have nothing to my name. I will never regret making my own path away from them to be my true self and pursue what I love. It's the best decision I've ever made."
Memories from the night Sirius ran away from his own family hit him like a punch to the gut; Remus felt his heart drop as Marianne turned away from him. The Gryffindor's anger faded away and he automatically gravitated towards her and slid his arms around her waist as he hugged her from behind. Marianne sighed, closed her eyes and leaned against him as he bent over and put his head on her shoulder.
"I'm sorry," he whispered in her ear. "I'm so sorry, Marianne. I never should have said those things. Of course you have me, of course you do. I'm yours forevermore." She murmured sounds of contentment as he nuzzled her neck. "I won't lie to you, it's not going to be easy going forward … but we'll manage."
"Apology accepted," she grinned as she turned to face him.
"I love you," Remus said breathlessly. "But I never wanted any of this for you."
"I love you too," Marianne said before going up on her tippy toes to give him a quick peck. "And I know. But I'm happy. So stop groveling and kiss me."
Remus grinned and happily obliged her; the kiss turned messy and chaotic as the two Seventh Years communicated all of their passion and love through their physical actions. The werewolf, who was normally very shy when it came to sex, held nothing back and soon felt desire pulsing through his veins. He pulled away from her luscious lips and caught his breath.
"Marianne, I'm ready."
"Are – are you sure?"
"I've never been so sure of anything in my life."
Marianne flashed him a lascivious grin.
"Well let me just imagine a bedroom for us."
"No – don't."
She looked up at him, very confused.
"When are we ever going to be in the Room of Requirement again? When will we have an entire pretend city to ourselves? … So …" He tried not to imagine Sirius high fiving him for using a Beatles song as a pick up line. "Why don't we do it in the road?"
Marianne yelped with joy, hooked her arm around his waist, muttered several Comfort Charms against his lips and pulled him to the ground. And that was how Remus finally lost his virginity, creating a happy memory that would summon his Patronus for many years.
"Cheers, mates!"
The boys clinked their glasses while the rest of the partygoers danced to the energetic sounds of the Grateful Dead. They took collective gasps as they downed the dregs of their drinks, but Sirius Black looked relaxed as ever. Firewhiskey barely stimulated his taste buds anymore.
"Cor!" Peter exclaimed.
"That burns!" Frank gasped.
"Yeah, but it tastes so good," James said dreamily. Sirius snickered as he reached over and grabbed the bottle; instead of refilling their cups and adding a bit of water, he poured a line of shots. Peter took his right away, James gulped his down, and after some encouragement, Frank finished his as well. As Sirius placed his own glass to his lips, James slapped Frank's back and burst into laughter.
"What's so funny?" Alice cut in as she and Lily settled on the other side of the table.
"Your man's drunk," Sirius snorted as he waved his hand, making two fresh glasses appear.
"Frank?"
"Or James?"
"Both, I wager," said Peter.
"But mostly James," Sirius added in, as he poured the girls' drinks with water. They giggled and sipped them slowly, savoring the fiery taste. James proved Sirius right by starting to talk about Quidditch and slurring his words and Lily rolled her eyes and tried not to smile. He kept rambling on as the record player crackled, popped and started the next groovy tune.
"Oh this song is ace, Frank. Let's dance!" Alice exclaimed. "Come on Lily, you too! You're the one who introduced me to the Dead."
The two girls grabbed their boyfriends and dragged them to the dance floor. Sirius couldn't help but laugh as he watched the scene unfold; Lily and Alice whirled around without a care, while James and Frank were still unsure how to dance to the psychedelic beat. The two girls ended up having to physically move their bodies to get them to dance like Muggle hippies. When Sirius' chuckles slowly dissipated, he felt a familiar sadness creep over him. He grimaced and reached into his pocket.
"I think I'm gonna go out for a smoke, mate."
"Oh?" Peter's voice perked up. "You have an extra?"
Sirius took his carton out and popped open the top.
"Nope, only one left," he said. "Sorry."
"It's alright," Peter replied, his eyes narrowing with discontent. "I'll find one elsewhere."
Sirius gave him a sympathetic shrug before snaking through the crowd and exiting the party. Since it was the last night of term, he didn't bother blending into the shadows and took the familiar route to the Bell Tower; it was his new smoking spot of choice. However, as Sirius put his cigarette between his lips and trotted up the last couple of steps, he found that he was not alone that night, but never expected to see the person who stepped out of the shadows.
Gemma. In front of him, in the flesh, wearing a yellow Mexican puebla dress and red lipstick. The cigarette dropped out of his mouth and fell to the ground.
"Erm … hi," she said and nervously ran a hand through her short hair. He felt small butterflies fluttering around in his stomach.
"… Hi," he answered. Gemma began to ramble, but Sirius was too blown away to stop her from talking.
"So you're probably wondering what I'm doing here. Well, I had to see Dumbledore - to tell him that I'd found John – and I ran into Remus and Marianne. I wanted to use the Room of Requirement one last time and they were just coming out of it. I bet you ten galleons they just had a shag, their faces said it all. She forced her family to disown her, so they're officially together now. It's lovely, really. Long time coming. But anyways, Remus told me you'd probably be here and I asked him how he was sure, because he'd just told me you lost the Map. Shame really, that thing was extremely helpful. So, yeah, he told me you'd be here because you're always here now and if you weren't, you'd probably be at the party, but I didn't want to ruin your good time. So … I've just been sitting here smoking until you decided to show up, if you did at all … But, you're here now, so I guess this is a very long winded, confusing way of saying 'Hey, how ya doing?', innit?"
Gemma discretely covered her mouth, looking a little embarrassed that she had come on so strong for their first conversation in awhile. Sirius was still too emotional to say anything. Questions began to circle in his head – had Marianne taken his advice? had Moony finally done the dirty deed? – but he ultimately found himself thinking about Gemma and her wellbeing.
Play it cool Sirius, he told himself. And so, to cut the mounting tension between them, he said the first thing that came into his head.
"You're tan."
Wow you arse, he immediately berated himself, very smooth. Yet moments later, he saw a smile tug at the corner of Gemma's lips, and when she noticed him watching her, her mouth burst into a full blown grin. Sirius was extremely taken aback; he hadn't seen her smile like this in a very long time.
"I am. Been out in the sun a lot."
Silence settled over them, but it was not overwhelming and awkward. Gemma took a drag from her spliff and looked up to watch the massive copper bells lightly sway in the warm breeze; Sirius sorted through the questions in his head, and again, steered the conversation away from the one thing he wanted to know the most.
"So Moony and Marianne are together, yeah?"
"I always knew they were perfect for each other," Gemma said, happy to continue the idle chatter. "When they start talking about classic literature … well, I'd rather smoke gillyweed and see some live music, but they can't get enough of it."
The Seer placed the spliff in her mouth and smiled to herself. Her cheery demeanor, however, did not latch onto Sirius. He took a deep breath and finally mustered up the courage to ask what he desperately wanted to know. He'd had enough small talk.
"So … can I ask why you wanted to see me?"
Gemma offered him the spliff.
"No," he shook his head, "I don't want it."
"Trust me," she persuaded, "you're going to. It's a long story." Sirius raised his brows and shrugged, reaching for the burning object. "I suppose I should start from the beginning. I took an experimental potion."
"When?" Sirius cut in, starting to feel more comfortable with expressing his thoughts as she pulled back her emotional layers.
"A bit before Valentine's Day. And before you start berating me for being so crazy, know that I am already aware of my own stupidity. I just … I wanted to know the future, because I felt like everything in my life was so unstable and I needed assurances." She took a moment to steal the spliff from him, place it to her lips and take a long drag. Sirius, meanwhile, watched her with interest.
"So, I'm going to assume this potion made you see the future …."
"Yes. I saw three events: a town being attacked, someone forcing me to drink a potion and an American bloke on a beach." Sirius furrowed his brow – he'd seen those events on her schizophrenic timeline. She continued on before he could get a word in. "I tried to bury it deep down inside – because I was rather ashamed of keeping something from you, since it had to do with the future and all – but after Rosier forced me to drink Morrigan's #1 -"
"How many potions does this bloke have?"
"Two that I know of. #1 forces you to see a much bigger prophecy." She took another drag. "So when I was lying in St. Mungo's staring at the ceiling, I realized that if #2 made me see literal events in my life – the Hogsmeade attack and Luciana's assault - I wanted to get ahead of it. I didn't know where the bloody hell he was, but I knew I had to find this dude I dreamed about. It was my destiny."
Sirius could help but let out a barking laugh.
"I know, I know. He's got me saying 'dude'. It's just the California style - all the cats talk that way. Well, anyways, that's why I jetted off to America. I bounced from city to city, hoping that fate would put us together if I just walked up to a beach and stared at the ocean. I eventually found him just outside San Francisco. At Stinson Beach."
"So … why did you need to find him?" A selfish part of him hoped it wasn't for romance.
"John's my guru," Gemma beamed.
"I don't know what that is," Sirius admitted.
"A spiritual guide of sorts," she explained. "He's going to move across the pond to help me figure out what I saw the night I was attacked. What #1 made me see."
"What did you see?"
"I'm not sure," the Seer said as she looked down at her feet. "I saw a bunch of objects and I think they have to do with the Castle, because I kept trying to touch the walls … But I don't know. John and I have started mapping everything out, 'cos that's how he analyzed his prophecy. He said he took #1 and predicted the Market Street Murders, with the help of his guru, Morrigan himself."
"Will John continue to mentor you during your Seventh Year then?"
"Oh … Ummm, I'm not coming back to Hogwarts. That's why I had to see Dumbledore, to tell him."
"What?" Sirius said, blinking his eyes in disbelief.
"There's honestly nothing here for me anymore," Gemma shrugged. "The band's out and graduated, NEWTs will probably kill me and our bad memories …"
She gulped and Sirius felt his heart race.
"I'm not meant to study here, Sirius," she admitted. "I'm meant to work with John to figure out what the hell I saw that night - it's something important. More important than anything I'll ever learn here. So I'm dropping out of school and moving to London. I've already got a flat."
"London?"
"Yeah. And speaking of … I went back to home to Islington - to tell my parents that I was not dead, just traveling – and my Dad … he gave me a letter. From you."
His heart skipped a beat.
"You apologized," Gemma said with an honest smile. It soon turned into a thankful grin. "Well, first you asked how I was doing, but you owned up to all your mistakes. That … was very nice to hear."
"Well, all of it is true," Sirius replied as he took a puff. "I was a complete arse. I freely admit it."
"Thanks," she said as she took back the spliff. "But I believe I owe you an apology as well. That's why I wanted to find you." Sirius lifted his eyebrows in surprise; he was not expecting this. "You had your … bad moments, but I wasn't perfect either."
"No -"
"Oi," she cut in, "You're interrupting."
"Sorry," Sirius chuckled and fell silent.
"I was absolutely bonkers," she admitted. "And not the usual bonkers, I mean borderline psychotic. I thought that I was saving everyone by shielding them from my dreams and keeping them to myself … but all of that bottled up emotion ate me alive. And I refused to talk to anyone, so I went out into the woods and shut myself off to try and figure what the fuck I was seeing, but it only made things worse. I still don't know what #1 made me see. But I think I figured out #2. Each one of those events meant something to me – the Hogsmeade attack was the first time I'd ever felt out of control, Luciana's attack was just before I emotionally hit rock bottom, and meeting John helped me sort all of this out.
"I have dreams. They are insane. They make me insane." She took a moment to take a puff. "But talking things out with John really helps, because he knows exactly where I'm coming from. He's also shown me some wonderful Dreamless Sleep Draughts so I've been feeling much more like myself." Gemma offered him the spliff, but he waved it away. She shrugged and took a puff. "So … I'm sorry for being mental. But know that I'm working on it."
"It's alright," he finally said. "You couldn't help it."
She smiled as she looked down at her shoes again, tapping the ash from the end of the spliff. As a sign of good faith, Sirius extended his hand; Gemma playfully bit her lip and gave it back to him. He took a drag and things finally began to fall in place as he processed everything that had just happened. It was certainly a lot to take in. Yet, when he exhaled and looked over at his ex-girlfriend, he felt something stir deep inside him. He yearned to reach out and give her a hug to comfort her; he wanted to be someone she could lean on, even if he didn't truly understand what she was going through. And so, Sirius went out on a limb.
"If you're going to be in London … do you maybe want to go out sometime? Once we've both settled?"
"I -" she stuttered, "I don't know about that …"
"It's not a date," he clarified. "Just time spent between friends."
"Friends?" Gemma said. "You want to be friends with me?"
"Well, yeah," he replied with a shrug. "I get it – you don't want to get involved with me because you can't trust me. But Gemma, I think you're absolutely fantastic, crazy and all. So, if you're willing, I'd like to be friends again."
But if something romantic does develop, Sirius continued in his head. He paused, unsure how to proceed. He didn't want to force her into anything, but he could feel the old, joyous energy between them and it made his heart skip a beat. And if she wasn't going to be studying at Hogwarts anymore, Sirius couldn't help but hope that it was possible to have another stage in their relationship, at a different time in their lives when they were both emotionally stable and out in the real world.
"Whatever, nothing has to happen. I don't want to put any expectations on it. I just want to spend time with you. You can say no, I won't be offended."
"You know … I'd … I'd like that," Gemma said with a soft smile. It was almost like she could feel the old connection between them too. She reached into her fringe bag and pulled out a tube of red lipstick; she motioned for him to roll up his sleeves. Sirius did as she asked and Gemma proceeded to remove the cap and write an address on his arm.
"That's my flat," she explained. "Owl me. There's a billiards hall right around the corner. Let's play sometime."
"I will," Sirius grinned. "I'm probably going to go back to our party, do you want to come with?"
"No, I have to find John," she laughed. "I told him to roam the halls while I waited for you and I have a feeling he's in trouble already. You'd like him. He's a curious little bugger."
She placed the tube back in her purse and straightened her dress. He couldn't help but feel a little sad that she wasn't coming with him, but overjoyed that they were back on good terms.
"Goodbye, Sirius. It was nice to see you."
"You as well."
Gemma took him by surprise and initiated a hug; he closed his eyes and smiled as he savored the moment. She gave him a pat and walked into the night and it was the first time Sirius had ever felt completely comfortable watching her walk away from him.
"Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' alive, stayin' alive!"
James Potter laughed and threw his head back; he moved his finger up and down across his chest. He was still a little drunk, but mostly coherent. Lily, meanwhile, shook her hips across the lit up dance floor. The disco ball above them reflected tiny speckles across the entire room.
"Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' aliveeeee!"
Lily peeled away with a spin and he grinned and did the same. They then spun in towards each other and James grabbed her by the waist. Lily let out a yelp of surprise as he dipped her towards the floor.
"James, I thought you couldn't dance to Muggle music!" Alice laughed as she continued to teach Frank how to boogie.
"I can't groove to that Dead stuff," James answered, "but give me a disco beat and I'm a dancing machine!"
It was true. Ever since he and Lily had snuck out of the Castle the previous Saturday night and found themselves in a London Muggle disco club, he'd been obsessed with the style of music and dance. James continued to interact with Lily on the floor; they swayed, sashayed, strutted, shimmied and soon grew tired. The Head Boy and Girl stepped off to the side and Alice and Frank gave them a wave as they continued to dance.
"Well," Lily sighed as James handed her a glass of water from the refreshments table, "that was just too much fun."
"I couldn't agree more," he grinned before taking a sip from his own cup. "So … where do you think Remus is, eh? Haven't seen him all night. Wait a second – I can't see Padfoot either. Or Wormy!"
"I'm sure Remus is … busy," Lily said playfully. "And Sirius and Peter probably went out for a smoke or something."
A new disco beat started to fill the air and the other graduates rushed to the floor; Bigsby brushed by James as he followed his current flame. The Gryffindor Captain didn't mind the intrusion, but his eyes widened when he realized his fellow teammate had brushed his right side.
The side with the important object.
James immediately panicked, sobered up and made sure the small box in his pocket hadn't fallen out while he was dancing; thankfully his hearty Sticking Charm had held it in place. He glanced over at his girlfriend and tried not to look completely insane.
"What have you got there, James?"
"Nothing!" he yelped. "Nothing at all!"
Lily's lips formed a small smirk, but she playfully rolled her eyes and kept her questions to herself as she watched the others dance. James gulped, happy that she hadn't seen his true intentions. He wanted his proposal to be a surprise.
Proposal. The word hit him like a ton of bricks, but didn't scare him completely. James knew he wanted to marry Lily ever since the beginning of his Sixth Year. It didn't matter that she hated him; he'd watched her enough from afar to know that she was a strong woman and force to be reckoned with, which James thought was the most attractive trait in a potential partner. She had spunk – the kind that made him want to spend the rest of his life getting to know and love.
Yet, it was the actual act of getting down on one knee that scared him. He figured that all girls obsessed about 'The Moment' and didn't want to disappoint his future bride. And so, he planned to ask her on the Hogwarts Express the next day while they were alone in the Heads cabin. However, he decided to carry his Grandmother's ring around in his pocket for safekeeping; he knew it was an irrational fear, but he didn't want to lose it.
"Come on, let's get out of here," Lily suggested.
"The last time you said that, we ended up in London," he cracked.
"Oh, that was just me wanting to rebel for once," she said with an eye roll. "I've never snuck out of the Castle before, so I had to cross it off on my 'Things I want to do before I graduate' list. But don't worry, I want to stay here – just not here."
James tapped his chin with his finger.
"Hogwarts bucket list, eh? Intriguing … well, we must cross off another experience - it's only fitting, since it's your last night here. What do you want to do?"
"I think we should go about this a different way," Lily grinned. "Tell me some of the secret places you've discovered over the past seven years and I'll say if I've been there."
"The Trophy Room?"
"Really, James?"
"What? I don't think you've ever had detention, so why else would you know about it?"
"I've been there. It's not really a secret place."
"Alright … Moaning Myrtle's lavatory."
"Found it when I was patrolling."
"What about the waterfall next to the Quidditch Pitch?"
"Yes, already crossed off."
"The Room of Hidden Things?"
"No."
"No?" James grinned, happy that he'd finally stumped her.
"Take me there then," Lily said, matching his smile. "That's where I want to go."
"Is it even on your list?"
"No …"
"Well then we shouldn't do it. Have to cross -"
"James," Lily interrupted as she tugged on his shirt. "It's not on my list because I wouldn't have known to put it on there. Now let's go."
He took a quick glance over at the dance floor before taking her hand and leading her away from the party. They continued to hold hands as they raced through the corridors. It didn't matter that it was the last night of term and no one would be patrolling; the excitement of it all caused them to dash to the Seventh Floor. Since the previous occupants had already left, the Heads weren't disturbed as they stepped into the Room of Requirement.
James heard Lily gasp in awe as she looked at all the discarded objects. They moved to inspect numerous piles and rummaged around to find the funniest things; Lily held up several chipped bottles of congealed potions with cartoons drawn all over them while James lifted an enormous stuffed troll from the rubble. They laughed gratuitously and continued to explore the treasure trove.
Yet, when James moved around a set of broken furniture, he caught his reflection in a large mirror. Normally he wouldn't have cared, but he noticed that there was a little pair of feet to the right of his. The dirty sheet in front of the mirror, however, obscured the rest of the picture. Officially intrigued, James walked over and removed the cover from the reflective surface.
Although she was physically across the way, the mirror showed Lily standing next to him with a small boy standing in between them. The picture stunned him. He'd always dreamed about starting a family and even though he didn't mind having a daughter, he secretly wanted a son to pass on all his life lessons to, just like his father had with him. And top it off, the fantasy showed him starting a family with Lily, who looked happy as ever. James let out a large exhale of wonder. How the bloody hell did this mirror show him exactly what he wanted the most?
"Of course," Lily taunted again as she placed her hands on her hips. "You would get stuck looking at your reflection."
James threw a glance over his shoulder and then turned back to the mirror; he couldn't help it. The pureblood felt his heart swell with emotion and his hand gravitated to his pocket and patted the small engagement ring box. His reflection smiled back, nodding his head in approval.
"James?" Lily said, now a little concerned that he wasn't listening to her. "Are you alright?"
"Yeah," he replied, finally looking away from the mysterious mirror. "Never better." When his eyes finally settled on Lily, he let out a snorting laugh; his girlfriend had assembled a large collection of old, gaudy jewelry while he wasn't looking. She grinned, doing a little spin to show off the tiara, flashy teardrop earrings, enormous golden chains, ruby rings and vintage bangles she'd found.
"Don't I look ridiculous?"
Once his chuckles subsided, James took a deep breath and studied her. The additions to her wardrobe made her look absolutely hilarious and she had the same happy twinkle in her eyes as her reflection.
"Not at all," he joked as he walked over towards her. "In fact, you look marvelous."
"Oh, you're just being nice," she said as she playfully hit him in the shoulder. James grinned and dipped down to kiss her; Lily squealed against his lips and wrapped her arms around him. When they finally came up for air, James sighed with content and took a moment to stare into her bright green eyes. They were still sparkling, maybe even a little bit more than her reflection. Before he could stop it, his old anxiety crept up his spine, immediately worrying about what she would say the next day. Lily noticed and reached up to touch his cheek.
"James?" she asked, hoping that he would provide an explanation for his odd behavior.
He expected to have another panic attack – since that was what usually happened when he started to fill with anxiety and dread – but instead, he felt a jolt of courage as he remembered his own reflection's nod of approval. Lily was everything he ever wanted; even if she said no, he'd wait until she was ready. He just needed her to know that he was willing to spend the rest of his life with her and didn't want to wait until the next day to say it. And so, James abandoned his previous proposal plans and felt his suave persona spring into action.
"Ahem," he coughed. "Sorry. I was just … Well I was just thinking that maybe you're not wearing enough jewelry."
"Oh, really?" Lily countered, a good-natured smirk on her face.
"Yes," James continued, "particularly on your hands."
"You don't like this monstrosity?" she snorted as she offered him her right hand and presented an obnoxious ring. James fought the urge to roll his eyes. She didn't seem to get his hint.
"No, it's lovely," he joked. "Really, it is … But I was referring to your left hand."
"What's wrong with it?"
"It's just a little empty," James shrugged. "I think it needs something special."
He took her left hand in his and began to trace circles around her bare ring finger as his other hand slipped into his pocket; Lily's jaw dropped in shock when he dropped to one knee. It took him a couple of moments to struggle against the powerful Sticking Charm, but he eventually presented her a lovely diamond ring.
"Lily Evans," James asked with absolute confidence, "will you marry me?"
A surprised cry squeaked between her lips.
"Oh James …"
Her eyes welled with tears.
"Yes! Absolutely!"
He popped up from the floor and hugged her close; she giggled with excitement and snuggled into his chest. After a few happy moments, the two broke apart and pressed their foreheads together as they looked into each other's eyes.
"You know," Lily said, "I thought you were going to give me something nice – a necklace or bracelet, judging by the way you guarded that pocket of yours all night. But I never thought … Did you plan all this tonight? Did you know I'd want to go here?"
"No actually," James answered as he pulled away and sheepishly ran a hand through his messy hair. "I was planning to ask you tomorrow on the train … This whole thing tonight was rather unplanned."
"Even better," she grinned before starting to snog him senseless. Yet, he could tell she was a little distracted by the way she energetically moved her tongue back and forth.
"You want to show Alice the ring, don't you?" he concluded as he pulled away.
"I'm sorry," Lily said with a cute look. "It's just – it's fantastic!"
"Alright," James said with a playful eye roll. "Let's get back to the party, then."
The two left the secret room and headed back towards their friends, taking a couple of detours to prolong their romantic, snogging adventure. They finally tumbled into the North Wing and James felt like he was on top of the world as they settled on the edge of the dance floor.
"Oh – there she is!" Lily exclaimed and then gave him a peck on the lips. "I'll just be a moment, darling." He felt his shoulders slump in relief, but they snapped to attention when he felt someone slap him on the back. The other Marauders immediately circled around him, smiling and laughing.
"Well, look who it is!"
"Prongsy!"
"Did you finally do it?"
"Aye, I'm getting married."
Sirius, Remus and Peter shouted with joy and someone quickly poured celebration drinks. The boys clinked their glasses, raised them in the air and poured their contents down their throats.
"Ah," Remus breathed, hitting his chest. "That's some strong stuff!"
"Gave you the best, Moony," Sirius laughed. "You needed a stiff drink to catch up to the rest of us, you being late to the game and all."
"Yeah – where have you been all night, you handsome devil?" James said as he prodded Remus' side with his elbow. "We've been waiting for you!"
"He came in while we were all gone. Marianne left her family," Peter answered darkly, spoiling the surprise.
"Really?" James breathed.
"Yeah," Remus continued, a little miffed that he hadn't been the one to break the news. "She disowned herself to get away from the Death Eater movement."
"So where is she then?" James said. He showed the same warm, comforting enthusiasm as he had the night Sirius had run away. "I want to give her a hug – and a stiff drink!"
"She's with her sisters," the werewolf admitted with a smile. "She wanted to spend one more night with them."
"Well," James said as he adjusted his glasses, "I'm proud of her. And happy for you, Moony!"
"Thanks, mate."
"So what about you, Pads? Hmmmm, where've you been?" Remus coughed and looked down at his shoes, already knowing the answer.
"I went out for a smoke and ran into Gemma," Sirius said, shaking his head in disbelief.
"Really?" said Peter.
"Yeah. She's back from America and permanently moving to London."
"Not finishing her Seventh Year?"
"No. She's got a … 'guru' instead. Still don't understand that word. But whatever she's doing, it's working. She looks fantastic."
"Well, that sounds promising!" James elated, his mood soaring even higher.
"We're just friends at the moment," Sirius said. He bit his lip bashfully. "But I'm ok with that." James let out a shout of content as he threw his arm around his best mate. He turned towards Peter, expecting the good news to keep coming.
"And you, Wormtail? Where were you?"
"Smoking," the pudgy boy answered in a stern voice. He didn't elaborate and James didn't prod him with any questions; he knew Peter was still in pain from his recent break up and didn't want to be reminded of his mistakes. Or so he thought.
"Well, cool," James said, trying his best to drag his friend out of his misery. "So mates … this is our last night here in the Castle. And I have to say, it's been a fucking blast. I'm serious."
"Oh – don't! You've set him up -"
"No James, I'm Sirius."
"You just had to tell that joke one more time, didn't you?"
"I thought you said it never gets old!"
"Oh, Moony was lying - it's so First Year, Padfoot!"
"You wankers," Sirius said with a shit-eating grin. "You don't appreciate my excellent sense of humor!"
The Marauders tipped their heads back and laughed heartily. Their sounds of enjoyment eventually faded away as Sirius took the bottle and poured them all another drink. The Head Boy waved his away, but gave into peer pressure when he noticed they were on the verge of another important Marauder toast.
"Here's to us," Sirius announced, raising his glass. His words weren't arrogant or egotistical; they were a celebration. "Best damn people in the world."
"To us!" the Marauders chanted before taking hearty sips.
Peter sputtered and hit his chest, Remus gasped for air, Sirius licked his lips and James slammed his empty glass onto the table. He inhaled sharply - trying to get the burning taste out of his mouth - when he felt something touch his hand. He turned around to see Lily wiggling her eyebrow suggestively.
"Sorry boys," she grinned as she pulled him close. "I only needed a small intermission, I'm not done with him. We've got some unfinished business." The sexual energy crackled between them and James felt his blood rush with desire.
"You heard the future Mrs. Potter!" he exclaimed as he straightened his glasses. "Duty calls!" The others hollered and cat-called as Lily practically dragged him out of the party; James gave his best friends a joyous wave before disappearing into the night to pick up where they had left off.
And with that, the Marauders and their significant others finished their time at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, all going out into the real world and following their separate destinies that would lead to the rise and fall of Lord Voldemort and the two bloodiest wars in Wizarding history.
Author's Note:
:D