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This boy, oh lord, he must be totally crazy

It's so difficult to make him understand

That the heart slowly becomes restless

You fall in love slowly

Everything was fine. She was great, she had never been better. If one more person asked her if she was okay, Jenna thought she might just burst. It had been 6 months since her father's death, she'd had more than enough time to process, understand, and put it behind her. She didn't need pitying glances or sidelong stares. She didn't need anyone to be nice to her. Jenna most definitely did not need Jacob Black being nice to her. That wasn't part of the plan, it had never been part of the plan, and frankly, she wasn't sure what the hell he thought he was playing at.

Then again, it wasn't exactly like he had time to pay attention to her anymore, not with him being totally consumed by Isabella Swan these days. He'd spend all his extra time cooped up with her in his garage. She wasn't jealous or anything - why the hell would she have been jealous? What was there to be jealous about? Jacob Black meant absolutely nothing to her. Therefore, the absence of his attention was barely noticeable. In fact, Jenna hadn't even noticed that Jacob Black hadn't been with Quil and Embry at First Beach yesterday at 3:45pm. It'd entirely slipped her notice, actually.

For the first little while, she'd struggled to adjust to Jacob's new attitude. He no longer threw snide comments her way, no longer tried to one-up her answers in class, and didn't even look at her with that look in his eyes that she felt could only signify his desire to throw her off the cliffs. He was just… there. In the background. Could she characterize it as the background when she put all of her attention on him? Sometimes Jenna would say something particularly outrageous just to attempt to get a rise out of him, but he'd always remain silent. She hadn't even been able to get a response when she'd announced, within his earshot, that Luke Earthrunner was an idiot with a lightstick. Jacob had whipped around and stared at her for a long moment like he'd wanted to say something, and right when she was sure he'd snap and tell her she was a fool, he'd folded and muttered something under his breath before turning back around.

"EARTHRUNNER!?"

Embry had definitely heard her though. He'd stormed over to hers and Julie's lunch table with Jacob in tow. She'd suffered through his ridiculous lecture on Star - Trek or Wars, she couldn't possibly care less which one it was, but Jacob remained quiet through it all. He'd finally told Embry to let it go when Julie began to bang her head against the table in slow, repetitive thumps, and Jenna wanted to empty her lunch bag over his head for his impassive silence. Embry shouldn't have been the one lecturing her to begin with.

"Jesus Christ, Jenna," Embry snapped, standing up and collecting his belongings with an offended air. "Have some respect, yeah?"

"Calm down, Embry," Julie muttered snidely, rubbing the red spot on her forehead, "it's fucking Star Wars."

Jenna stared at the boys, unimpressed, before she rolled her eyes, muttering a half-assed apology under her breath that she hoped sounded as sarcastic as she'd intended it to. Jacob stood to join him, swinging his backpack over his shoulder and watching her for a long moment.

"Bye, Jennifer."

Jenna narrowed her eyes at him, nodding in response. He'd paused for a loaded second, and she was sure he'd say something else, but he turned and walked away. She wanted to scream.

"Nobody cares about Star Wars, don't sweat it."

She turned around and faced Paul Lahote who had spoken from behind her. He shrugged at her when she raised her eyebrows. He wasn't wrong if she were being honest. He was leaning against the wall behind her with a casual air that could only be achieved by Paul. Had anyone else attempted to combine the bandana, with the jacket, with the smirk, and the pose, and many had tried, they would end up looking ridiculous. Not Paul though. He always managed to look as if he'd just rolled out of bed looking like something out of a Harlequin novel - not that Jenna had read many. Any. Not that she'd read any.

"Right," Julie, whose entire demeanour had shifted to a poor imitation of Jessica Rabbit, breathed, and Jenna suspected if she leaned anymore towards Paul, she'd fall right off the table. "So pointless."

Paul didn't respond, merely inclining his head to acknowledge Julie's comment. His attention was stolen by Jared Cameron shouting his name and beckoning for him. Now there was an unlikely friendship. Where Paul Lahote was darkness and mystery and… other things Jenna didn't want to think about, Jared Cameron was friendly and bright. A bit full of himself, but people like him could afford to be. Paul pushed off the wall, nodding at Jared.

"Bye, Jennifer, Jules."

Jenna sighed, rubbing a tired hand over her face and squeezing her eyes shut, waiting for the inevitable. 1… 2…

"Did you hear what he called me?"

"I did," she affirmed, glancing over at Julie who was staring after Paul, moonstruck.

"I am his jewel," Julie sighed, clutching her hands to her chest with a wistful noise.

"Somehow," Jenna began, drawing the word out while she tried to figure out how to tactfully phrase the rest of her sentence, "I don't think that was his meaning."

"You don't know anything, Jenna." Julie snapped, her words flying like knives, tossing an ice-laden stare her way.

"Okay."

That had been put simply enough, there hadn't really been much to argue with there. Somehow, Jenna had gone 17 years without having a real interaction with Paul Lahote, and now she'd had more than she had ever imagined having. All it had taken was her father dying, imagine that?

But then Paul had stopped showing up to school. Julie had been desolate, inconsolable, convinced that something must be terribly wrong with him. She'd debated going to his house, but everyone knew Paul's father and no one wanted to stray too close.

"What if he ran away with someone?"

"Is that your primary concern?" Jenna asked, sharing a confused look with Kim, who had come over with Julie, raising a brow at the girl who was lying on her bedroom floor, clutching a yearbook to her chest.

"You know what, Jennifer," Julie hissed, rolling onto her stomach to glare at Jenna, "I do not need your judgement. Obviously, Paul is not dead. He is also not sick enough to be in the hospital or medical centre - I already asked Sue Clearwater."

"Jesus, Julie!" Jenna gaped at her friend, shocked at her audacity. How in the world had Julie not been embarrassed asking Sue Clearwater about Paul Lahote's health? Especially when Paul Lahote's… activities were no secret and the fact that Julie, a traditional Elder's granddaughter, was not a participant in those activities was also not a secret.

"I was concerned!" She protested, rolling onto her back to stare at the ceiling again. "It's not like him to miss so much school. He's actually really smart, Jenna, you don't even know."

Julie was right, she did not know. Jenna had never paid much attention to Paul Lahote, relegating him to be a kind of cool she could only theoretically conceptualize. She couldn't even begin to describe why he was that way, he just… was.

"Jared doesn't know what's wrong either," Kim sighed, shaking her head and continuing to doodle in her sketchbook while she sat at Jenna's desk.

Jenna stared at the pair of them for a moment, feeling the question she'd wanted to ask for ages bubbling inside of her. "What is wrong with both of you?"

Julie sat up, glancing at Kim who slowly lowered her sketchbook before they both looked at her. "What do you mean?"

"Have you even - is there any kind of genuine connection there?" Jenna couldn't decide which one of them was more strange. Julie who'd, granted, had periodic interactions with Paul Lahote that could be summarized in a sentence, if not a few words. Or maybe it was Kim, who, to Jenna's knowledge, hadn't spoken to Jared Cameron since kindergarten.

It was Kim who answered her, with a narrowing of her eyes that warned Jenna that she was about to lay into her in a rare display of temper.

"Well, Jennifer," she began in a soft voice, putting the strange inflection on her name that Jacob always did, clasping her hands in her lap. "We can't all share the bond of unresolved sexual tension that you and Jacob do."

Julie gasped, eyes swivelling back and forth between Jenna and Kim.

"Excuse me?" Jenna was flummoxed. Sexual - there was nothing sexual between her and Jacob. She said as much too, only for Kim to scoff and Julie to roll her eyes.

"Oh please," Julie scoffed. "The two of you are just too stubborn to make out and put the rest of us out of our misery."

"I am not stubborn! He's stubborn!" Jenna protested, stung, as she struggled to compose herself at the unbidden image Julie's words had flung into her mind.

"Because he won't make out with you?" Julie countered, nodding sadly. "I know the feeling."

"No! I just - I am not a stubborn person," Jenna hedged, flushing to the roots of her hair.

"But you admit you'd be okay with making out with Jacob?"

She glared at Kim who grinned back, waggling her eyebrows in a disgustingly suggestive move.

"I said no such thing."

Jenna ignored the butterflies that had taken flight in her stomach at the words, gnawing on the inside of her cheek. She didn't want to. Of course, she didn't. So what if his hair looked soft and shiny and his lips were never chapped. It didn't matter that sometimes his hands would carry hints of grease and she'd know he'd spent the morning working on things in his garage. It was entirely irrelevant that her brain would sometimes focus too long on the image of his hands working with the tools. Fixing things. Maybe he could fix her too.

"You don't have to say these things, Jenny, darling," Julie drawled, smirking in a surprisingly accurate imitation of the object of her obsession. "Some things are meant to be felt."

"Not this!"

Julie and Kim shared a loaded glance, laughing and speaking in unison.

"Definitely this."

Stupid friends. Who needed them anyway?

Paul Lahote came back to school soon afterwards - well, someone who claimed to be Paul Lahote. Paul Lahote if he was suddenly 6'6 and built like an oak tree. She'd been the first to witness his return, when he'd caught her falling binder with reflexes that shouldn't necessarily have been possible. He was superhumanly attractive, so why not this? Besides, if Paul Lahote had superhuman reflexes, Jenna didn't see how that was any of her business? The boy deserved his privacy. The man - the boy-man? Man boy? She didn't know anymore.

"Thanks, Paul," she'd said, still shocked at his new appearance, when he'd handed it back to her without a word. "Nice to see you again."

He paused and stared at her for a moment, as though surprised before he grunted to acknowledge her thanks before moving past her with his hands stuffed into his pockets. She felt bad for him. Whatever had happened to him had obviously taken its toll far beyond turning him into a Calvin Klein model. Paul's hair - his beautiful, long, pin-straight, hair - was gone. Cut short. Every now and then, his hand would rub the nape of his neck as if he still wasn't used to it being gone. Jenna had zero evidence to base her assertion on, but something told her he hadn't wanted to cut it. Her heart bled for him. They would have heard if there had been a death in his family, that couldn't have gone unheard of on the rez. His hands would shake and he would ball them into fists and shove them into his pockets. Definitely still a boy.

It felt like it was a matter of days before it was Jared Cameron's turn. He was there one day and then he was gone. Then it was Kim's turn to lay on Jenna's bedroom floor with a yearbook and wonder if he'd run away with someone. In Jenna's mind, it was clear. Jared Cameron had disappeared a matter of days after Paul Lahote had returned. Paul Lahote who was sporting an entirely different appearance - one eerily similar to that of Sam Uley. It was not beyond the realm of possibility that Jared Cameron was going to end up the same way, especially considering his connection to Paul.

She'd said as much to Kim too, only to have her cry that she'd never expected Jared to join a gang. A gang? Could they really be a gang? Paul Lahote and his sad eyes and searching hands in a gang? Paul Lahote in general in a gang - perhaps. Perhaps. Also not beyond the realm of possibility - but something about this version of him didn't strike her as a hardened criminal.

"They're not in a gang, Kim, don't be ridiculous," Julie snapped, tossing a wad of tissue paper at Kim. "My grandfather is tight-lipped about it, but he'd be raving about how terrible Paul is if it were a gang."

She sighed, flopping back onto the bed. "It's definitely weird that Paul and Sam look so similar now though. His hair," Julie trailed off on the beginning of a pathetic cry. Lord help her.

Then it was Jared Cameron's turn to return, and, again, Jenna had the misfortune to be the first to witness him in all of his glory. He was also a mysterious looking man-boy. The same exhaustion, the same sadness in his eyes. His hair was gone too, confirming Jenna's hypothesis that the hair was definitely a uniting factor between Sam, Paul, and Jared. Jared caught her eye, and she was surprised to see the beginning of hostility there.

She held up a hand in a half-hearted wave, unsure of how to proceed. "Glad you're feeling better, Jared." She turned away from him, preparing to hide in a corner to escape.

He drew up short, stopping and watching her in an odd way. His shoulders began to slowly relax from their earlier tension. Jenna froze, feeling like a deer caught in headlights at this odd interaction with this even more strange version of Jared Cameron.

"That's it?" He sounded incredulous. Jenna wondered what else she could possibly say. They weren't friends, she wasn't going to demand an explanation from him. Frankly, if he too had supernatural reflexes, it still wasn't her business.

"I… don't know what else I'm meant to say?" She hedged, taking tiny steps backwards, wishing she could escape this terrible conversation. She hated socialization.

"You're not going to ask where I was?" His voice was hard, the hostility was returning.

"To be entirely honest with you," Jenna began, eyeing her escape route into the building longingly, "I don't think that's any of my business. So, no, I guess, I won't be asking."

Jared seemed surprised, blinking for a second before his face softened. "Thanks… Janey."

"Jenna," she corrected, ignoring the stab of irritation that Jared somehow still didn't know her name.

"Sorry," he said sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck, "I'm bad with names."

Well, she couldn't be angry at that, now could she? Of course, she could, she could be angry at anything if she thought about it for long enough. However, she was going to choose not to be angry at 6'4 Jared Cameron who looked like he could break her spine with a pinky.

"Not a problem, I'll see you around."

She'd gone inside as fast as she could without looking suspicious and rude, already dreading the welcome she was sure Jared was going to receive. Poor boy. The harsh scrutiny of the entire school on top of whatever he was going through likely wasn't easy to deal with. Jenna felt bad for him too. Even if he didn't know her name.

Sure enough, things were bad and Jared Cameron had left again by lunch, running out towards the forest, followed by Paul. Poor buff boys. Maybe they were radioactive? Spiderman? The Hulk?

None of it made sense. So Jenna decided she would simply watch. Watch and wait. Days passed. Paul and Jared returned for slow increments before they would inevitably leave again, usually before the end of the day. They'd yet to stay a full day. But then again, it wasn't really her business. They deserved their privacy.

But next it was Embry Call. His, Jacob, and Quil's trio had been inexplicably shattered. Jacob and Quil would sit together, looking tired and worried and glaring with a frightening anger at Jared and Paul. Jenna feared that one day glares would translate to an altercation. It wasn't as if she liked Jacob, or was particularly invested in his safety. It was just common sense that 5'7 Jacob and and 5'6 Quil would be beaten to death within minutes by Paul and Jared the man-boys. She may not have liked Jacob, but she didn't want him to die. Certainly not by Paul's hand, the poor guy obviously had enough on his plate.

While Jenna didn't want to enjoy Embry Call's absence, it did have the benefit of breaking Jacob Black's nice streak. He was snappier than ever and Jenna revelled in the return of her nemesis.

"It's obviously third-person omniscient," Jenna announced in their English class, where their small group was gathered in a corner to complete the assignment. Jacob had been put into her group, by some colossal misjudgement on Miss Warner's part.

He narrowed his eyes at her from across the desk, scoffing and leaning forwards. "Yes, cause you obviously know everything, Jennifer."

Her heart skipped a beat, oddly aware of the way he said her name - the way only he ever said her name. She swallowed around the lump in her throat, ignoring the thrill of excitement in her veins.

"Obviously, I do, Jacob." She gloated, matching his posture and leaning towards him from her side of the desk.

They both ignored the groans from the rest of their group, determined to outstare the other. While she'd started off trying to intimidate him into submission, Jenna couldn't help but notice how consumingly dark his eyes were, how his jaw was so defined. She hadn't realized she was biting her lip until she saw his eyes drop down to it. The jaw she'd been admiring only seconds earlier clenched and she watched his adam's apple bob as he swallowed.

"Oh my GOD, can you just do it already, Jenna?"

Julie's shout from across the room startled her, and Jenna jolted in her seat, whipping around to face her. She could not be - no, she wouldn't. She wouldn't dare bring up the ridiculous makeout idea. Jenna prayed from the bottom of her heart that the fires of hell would burn Julie where she sat when Jacob made a noise of confusion from behind her.

She froze when she felt his fingers playing with the ends of her hair, before he yanked on the strands, pulling her head back towards him.

"Ow! What's your problem, Jacob?"

He didn't answer her, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms across his chest instead.

"What's she talking about, Jennifer?"

Jenna cleared her throat, shrugging in what she hoped was a casual motion even as Julie cackled behind her. Stupid, stupid girl.

"Nothing at all, I couldn't say."

"Doesn't seem like it," Jacob drawled, casting an amused glance at a still laughing Julie before his eyes zeroed back in on Jenna with a frightening intensity. "Tell me."

"It's none of your business, Jacob!" She snapped, busying herself with gathering her papers together and pretending she was searching for a particular sheet. She wasn't even sure she could read at the moment, her brain was literally on fire. This could not be happening.

"Well, that's not nice," he scoffed, leaning towards her again. "You should tell me anyways."

"Why the fuck would I do that?" Jenna cried, throwing her hands up. "It has nothing to do with you."

Lies. Making out with Jacob had … a little bit to do with him. Just a small amount. Negligible, really.

"I'm going to find out," Jacob said quietly, his voice all the more telling for its lack of volume.

Jenna panicked. "Never. I'll die before I let that happen."

Jacob blinked at her for a moment, his features contorting in obvious confusion before he cocked his head to the side.

"For fuck's sake, Jennifer, is it really that serious?"

"Everything is that serious to me, Jacob, you know this." She groaned, beginning to categorize her papers evenly into her binder, meticulously placing each one into the rings so that they aligned perfectly.

Jacob propped his head up in his hands and watched her complete her ritual without a word before he sighed and made a noise of agreement.

"I do."

She sniffed daintily, deciding to ignore him for the remainder of the class even as her heart did cartwheels every time she realized he was watching her. It seemed like too soon that the bell rang, signalling their dismissal and the room was suddenly alight in the chaos of students practically stampeding to freedom.

Jenna remained seated, preferring to wait until the crowd had cleared before beginning to collect her belongings. She gasped when Jacob's fingers curled around her hair again, giving it a small tug before he let go when she gaped at him.

"That's what you get for not telling me," he shrugged, tossing his own backpack over his shoulder and making for the door. "Bye, Jennifer."

Terrible boy. Beautiful boy.

Oh no.