Hi everyone! Thank you to everyone who read, favourited, followed, and a special thank you to all of those who reviewed! I do have a very important issue to bring to everyone's attention.

The Quileute Nation is fundraising in an effort to move their village to safer ground. They are currently located in a tsunami zone and are trying to raise funds to move to higher ground to protect their homes, school, and community. If you've ever read, watched, or engaged with Twilight in any way - and these fics count - I ask you to consider donating to their efforts if you are able. Stephanie Meyer has been incredibly, incredibly remiss and disgusting (to use a very gentle word) in her treatment of the Quileute people. She made money off of them and yet they struggle to find a way to protect their community. I have donated and I ask you all to do the same if you can. If you're not able, please raise awareness of this issue and spread the message in your circles. Together, we can try to band together to assist the Quileute people. It's the least we can do. Donations can be made at the Quileute nation's website. Thank you.

I may never ever rise above you

I may stumble as I lose my way

I may never find the words to tell you

Oh, believe me

Oh my heart, I want you to be strong

I need you to be all I believe in

I won't bother you again, Coleman.

She hated her last name. More than anything in the world. True to his word, Jacob hadn't spoken to her since that day. Not to taunt her, not to disagree with her. Not a word. Worse, he wasn't even looking at her - it was as if he'd decided to pretend she didn't exist. Jenna was at a loss. At first, she'd been despondent. The loss of Jacob's attention had hurt more than she'd ever imagined it could - a fact that bothered her immensely. The longer he'd gone on ignoring her, the worse it had become.

He'd only looked in her direction once - when her locker door had gotten stuck again and passing by Embry Call had pulled it open for her. While Jenna appreciated his help, she wished she could kick him. Jacob had looked at her like she'd committed yet another cardinal sin, even though she'd yet to discover what the first one had been that had made him so upset. He'd glared at her and then at Embry with that same frightening level of anger before storming past them.

"Fucking tool," Embry sighed, rubbing a weary hand over his face.

Jenna stared at him in silence, still wondering how exactly she'd offended Jacob so badly.

"He's jealous." Embry offered.

She choked then, coughing desperately and dropping half her books. Embry winced, clapping her on the back with significantly more force than she required, nearly sending her bowling over to the floor.

"Fucking hell," he groaned, catching her arm and helping her back up.

"What did you just say to me?" Jenna gasped, rubbing her aching chest, her eyes watering.

"I said," Embry sighed, stooping to retrieve her books from the floor, "that Jake - Jacob is being a dick because he's jealous."

If Jenna hadn't been in the midst of a complete and utter breakdown, she might have taken a moment to lament Embry's self-correction in using Jacob's full name instead of the casual nickname.

"Of what?" Jenna demanded, annoyed now. "What does he think? I'm going to replace him as your new best friend?"

Embry stared at her for a long moment, exhaling gruffly as he handed her books back to her and muttered something that sounded suspiciously like 'both fucking idiots.'

"No, Jenna." He looked uncomfortable now. "Jacob is jealous that I am going to replace him as your… whatever the fuck you two got going on."

She gaped at him. "Nonsense. Ridiculous. Impossible."

"It doesn't become less true no matter how many words you throw at it."

Jenna glared at Embry, convinced he was playing some cruel joke. "That's - is this because of the Earthwalker thing?"

"Skywalker!" Embry snapped, his fists bunching at his sides. "It's Luke Skywalker and he - you know what, no, you don't even deserve to know."

He sighed roughly. "I'm Jake's friend - was his friend." There was no mistaking the sadness in his voice now. "We talked about stuff - I won't say more, but trust me, you're not the problem, he thinks I am."

Jenna blinked, unsure of how to process this completely unexpected development. Jacob - her? This was unprecedented. There was no behaviour to suggest this trajectory. So far, Embry's insight was observational, without full disclosure, she couldn't attribute any sort of internal validity to his findings.

"Well, first of all, there's nothing going on between us." Jenna protested, belatedly remembering Embry's earlier words. She rearranged her books in her arms to avoid looking at him as she spoke.

"Yeah," Embry scoffed, beginning to move past her, "and I'm a vampire."

Odd.. comparison. Not really the same thing at all. Jenna supposed it wasn't entirely incorrect. All signs did, in fact, point to Embry not being a vampire. He was able to be out in sunlight, had a perfectly functioning circulatory system with all of its components. While he did occasionally look like he wanted to hit her, it didn't look like he wanted to bite her. No, she would be very surprised indeed to learn that Embry was a vampire. The diagnosis didn't fit. If she had to choose a mythical creature for Embry to embody, she'd probably choose a werewolf. The physical change, the disdain at mentioning a vampire, the - dare she think it - canine sense of hearing. It'd be ironic, considering their heritage.

Werewolf. A Werewolf in La Push. No.

No, that wasn't a thing and she wouldn't even go down that road. Besides, even if the creation stories continued to ring true and Quileute people could turn into wolves, why on earth would the Creator have chosen Embry Call as a candidate? Paul Lahote was understandable, that made perfect sense and then some. Jared Cameron also made sense to an extent. Sam Uley, she didn't know well enough to make an assessment on. Embry Call, however, was the farthest thing from Q'wati's chosen one to serve as a protector.

This entire mental exercise was ridiculous. Embry Call was not a werewolf, no one was a werewolf. Besides, even if he was - Jenna was convinced it was none of her business. It wasn't like Embry the hypothetical werewolf was hurting her? It wasn't like he was hurting anyone. The bigger question was why she was even considering it when Embry had dropped an even larger bombshell on her? Jacob was jealous. Jacob had a reason to be jealous. Well, no, not in the sense that she would ever… do anything … with Embry. But he apparently felt he had a reason to be jealous, which would suggest that he - no, that was ridiculous. It couldn't be true.

Why would Jacob like her? No one had in 17 years, hell, he hadn't in 17 years, why start now? He'd also made it abundantly clear what he saw when he looked at her, and if that wasn't damning enough, he'd made it clear who he'd rather spend time with. In all of her mother's Harlequin's - that she definitely had not read - jealous men didn't run off to hide in garages with skinny girls. Then again, Jacob was not a man. He was a boy. A stupid, idiotic boy.

And just like that - all of her despair had turned into red-hot anger. Jacob wanted to be an immature fool, then she would ignore him just as hard. He was so stupid and she would never give him the satisfaction of pining after him - even privately. He obviously wasn't invested enough to try and keep her attention, so why should she care what he thought? Jenna stuck to her resolve, spending the next few days pretending Jacob didn't exist. Imagine her surprise when it seemed like that had been all it took to make him start acknowledging her existence again. The acknowledgement consisted of piercing, angry stares, but it was better than being disregarded entirely. Still, Jenna persisted.

Part of her was sure that it was becoming a battle between them - who would fold first? Who would go to the other and try to speak to them? If he thought it was going to be her, then boy, did he have another thing coming. Jenna hadn't spoken to her own cousin in 3 years because she hadn't called on her birthday - nobody held a grudge better than Jennifer Coleman did. Jacob seemed to sense that she wouldn't be approaching him first, much less apologizing to him. Jenna wanted to believe that was the reason behind the hurtful performance he treated her to that fateful day.

"It's a date, Quil. Just me and Bella."

His voice was loud, carrying over to Jenna's desk easily. Her heart dropped into her stomach, her fingers tightening around her pencil.

"What movie are you gonna see?" Quil's question sounded odd in her ears as if she were listening to it from outside of the room. Muffled, and distant.

"Does it matter?" Jacob laughed, an anticipatory edge in his laughter that made Jenna feel vaguely ill. "It's not like I'm going to be watching the movie."

Jenna's stomach tightened, twisting into painful knots. This was beyond jealousy. This was pain. Acute pain that shot through her chest, weaving its way through and between her organs till it coursed through her veins right beside her blood. This was no longer a battle. Jacob had effectively dealt a death blow. This was abject cruelty. Jenna felt like the smallest of children but all she could think in a loop was that she didn't want to play anymore. Now he was being mean.

She refused to look back at him or to give him any indication that she had heard him. Let him go on his date, let him not pay attention to the movie at all - the implications of that were still making her stomach churn. She was done. Maybe she would replace him with Embry Call. He was tall, handsome, and actually spoke to her. That would never work, she couldn't handle Embry for more than 20 minutes at a time.

"That son of a bitch," Julie hissed from beside her, her sharp gaze glaring daggers at Jacob before landing back on Jenna with a soft empathy. "I'm sorry, sweetie."

"It doesn't matter. It's irrelevant."

She knew Julie didn't believe her but Jenna appreciated that she didn't push the matter. This was why feelings were overrated - they were bad. In the worst-case scenario, they landed you in a dead-end marriage leading to divorce. In others, they ended in you wanting to puke your insides out in the middle of class because Jacob Black planned to do … something with Isabella Swan.

Something that he would never do with her - never want to do with her. It wasn't that she wanted him to make such crude plans about her - maybe she did, she wasn't sure anymore - it was just a cruel, jarring setdown to remember that he never would. That no one would. Because people didn't say those things, want those things, or do those things with girls like her. Girls who talked too much, took up too much space, girls who waited until everyone else had filtered out of the room because the agony of trying to squeeze through people was too much. Girls who sat at the edge of every row because they were terrified of having to attempt to fit through narrowly arranged desks or seats. It wasn't even that there was anything wrong with the girls who didn't think about all of those things - Jenna just wished she could be more like them sometimes.

"He's not worth it anyway," Julie commiserated, patting her hand. "Now, I don't usually believe in body-shaming of any kind, but he's a special case. What is he - like 5'7 - he looks like motherfucking Gumby."

Jenna made a squawking noise despite herself and Julie grinned. "Besides," she continued in a carrying voice, "Embry is like 6'4 now, definitely an upgrade from…" she trailed off and cast a disparaging look in Jacob's direction. She didn't need to finish. The silence from the boys' side of the room said it all.

The bell rang and Jenna gestured for Julie to move along while she remained silent, determined not to flee. She kept her head turned away as she went about slowly gathering her belongings. She could hear Julie departing, hear her scoff in Jacob's direction before she left. Jacob's footsteps paused by her desk and Jenna stubbornly kept her gaze on her backpack.

He stood in silence for a few moments. "Aren't you going to wish me luck, Coleman?"

Jenna pressed her eyes shut for a brief moment, gathering all of her courage. She would never let him see that he'd hurt her, he would never be able to hurt her again. She knew better than to hold any hope, keep any expectations - she would never be that kind of a fool again.

"Good luck, Black." She said simply, standing up to face him. "Good luck with your life."

Jenna forced herself to hold his gaze, thanking the Creator that her voice remained steady. Jacob's eyes flashed, she wondered whether he'd wanted a different reaction.

"Goodbye," she continued, hoping the word rang with the finality she wanted it to.

When his face cleared in shock, she knew it had. Jenna was glad for it. She moved past him, heading for the door, her backpack clutched between her shaking fingers. She was done. All of it was done. She knew she had a lot of work to do, she had to find a way to coach herself to remain impassive on Monday when she saw him again - to not let the pain and the despair of imagining what that movie date had looked like overpower her. She had to find a way to not be stuck imagining what they were doing.

Jenna swallowed hard, yanking her backpack up to her chest to hug it close as if she could relieve the ache in her chest through the added pressure. She'd lived through worse, she'd survived all the trials she'd seen thus far, what was one more?

But Jacob Black never returned to school on Monday. At first, Jenna was relieved. The reprieve from facing him, from facing what he made her feel was all too welcome. But then he didn't show up on Tuesday either. Or Wednesday. Or Thursday. Or Friday. Then it was Monday again and he still wasn't at school.

She'd judged Kim and Julie so intensely over their concern and yet here she was. Worse, her pride didn't allow her to express it. She hated him - she hated Jacob now. If she said it enough, it might become true. It didn't matter to her where he was - she didn't care if he had run away with Isabella Swan. And she definitely didn't feel any relief when rumours began floating around that even Isabella Swan wasn't in contact with him. Served them both right to be separated by … god knows what.

If this was the same period of absence that linked Sam Uley, Paul Lahote, Jared Cameron, and Embry Call - Jacob Black was in for a hell of a ride. It also suggested that whatever linked all of them might also include him now - again, not that she cared.

What was arguably the worst part of all of this was that Quil Ateara, now effectively abandoned, had decided he would join her lunch table. The first day he'd sat down, Jenna, Julie and Kim had stared at him in surprise. Kim had been the first to recover, smiling and pretending that this was an entirely normal occurrence and like Quil hadn't just trespassed where he definitely wasn't wanted. Jenna was less willing to forgive, still smarting from Quil's participation in Jacob's cruel conversation. She'd rolled her eyes at him and shoved her nose back into her book.

Julie had been even less willing to forgive, hissing at Quil in displeasure. "What the hell are you doing here?"

Quil blinked, looking taken aback. "I'm hanging out with you guys now."

Silence.

"That's nice, Quil," Kim smiled. "Great to have y-"

"No the fuck you are not!"

Quil gaped at Julie who glared back.

"You're being very mean, Julia." He scolded.

"Mean, my ass. Mean doesn't begin to describe you and your disgusting friend. You think I'm ever going to forget that?"

Jenna lowered her book slightly to assess whether Quil looked sufficiently chagrined at Julie's scathing setdown. She was satisfied when a look of shame passed over Quil's features.

"I didn't know what he was trying to do!" He protested. "And all I asked was what movie they were seeing!"

"You're guilty by association," Julie growled. "It's a character deficit to associate with that Gumby looking asshole."

Quil sighed, rubbing a hand over his face in a move that reminded Jenna of Embry, who she also hadn't seen since Jacob's disappearance.

"Well, it's not like I associate with him anymore. He's vanished - it was like this with Embry too. That asshole."

He sounded frustrated, and Jenna got the sense that he was hiding his sadness behind the anger. Not that she would know anything about that.

"Don't talk about Embry," Julie warned, waving her fork in Quil's direction. "We're pro-Embry over here at this table."

Quil glared at her from across the table. "Why?! Cause you're such good friends with him?!"

"No! Because he's nice to Jenna, and that's enough for me."

Jenna sighed, finally having had enough of what would likely go on to be a battle of epic proportions. "Okay, that's enough. Thank you, Jules."

Julie smiled, patting Jenna's hand before she threw a final disdainful glance Quil's way.

"She's right though," Jenna continued, looking at Quil. "Embry, Paul and Jared have been nothing but nice to me - even if Jared doesn't know my name," she allowed. "I don't want to hear any of this cult crap."

Quil looked dismayed at the stance they'd taken. "Kim - come on - you must believe in freedom of expression here."

Kim smiled at him, polite as always. "Sure, I do, Quil. Just not at someone else's expense."

He groaned, throwing his hands into the air. "Fine! Fine."

He slid his chair in closer, looking at Jenna now. "Look - Jennifer, Jenna, Jenny from the block-"

"Get to the point," Jenna hissed.

"What I mean to say," Quil continued, holding his hands up in surrender, "is that I'm sorry I didn't stop Jake from being a dick. If it helps at all, he's just jealous."

"It's funny how the Geek Squad keeps saying that," Julie scoffed. "First Embry, now you."

"Woah Woah Woah," Quil protested. "Embry told you that?"

Jenna rolled her eyes. "What about it?"

"That's a total violation of bro code."

The girls stared at him for a long moment, before sharing a glance amongst themselves.

"Quil," Kim interjected. "I have to ask - what makes what you're doing right now different?"

"I don't have friends anymore," Quil cried, "I have to find an in however I can. Desperate times and all."

Jenna groaned. "We're not your -"

"You're all I have, J-Lo," Quil said sadly, toying with his lunch. "Otherwise I'll have to hang out with Bella. You're so much cooler."

This was the worst. The absolute worst. How was she supposed to put her foot down with Quil sitting across from her looking like a kicked puppy? Jenna knew he was trying to manipulate her by comparing her to Bella. On a normal day, she'd tell him that devaluing other women to try and compliment her was the worst strategy possible. Today, in the case of Isabella Swan, she'd make an exception. She was cooler than her. Maybe not prettier, maybe not skinnier, maybe not as deserving of love and lasting affection. But for sure cooler.

"Fine."

And so began the worst time of her life. Not really, but it came close. Quil had taken the commitment of friendship to heart. He'd invited himself to sleepovers, hangouts, days in the park.

"Wow," he sighed one evening, taking his turn lying on the floor of Jenna's bedroom, staring at the ceiling with a cooling mask slathered across his face. "It's so great to have true friends."

She'd glared at him, mourning the loss of the mask she'd bought when she'd last ventured up to Port Angeles. Quil helped himself to everything. She had to admit though, he'd truly taken the commitment to heart. Now, the mere mention of Jacob's name resulted in Quil hissing. The loyalty was admirable if nothing else.

"So, Jules," Quil continued, "did you hear about Tia claiming she's going to hook up with Paul once he decides to… I don't know, stay a full day at school."

"I called dibs on Paul Lahote a long time ago."

Jenna sighed, running a hand over her face. Of course, this was exactly what she needed.

Quil gaped at Julie, opening and closing his mouth wordlessly for a long moment before he spoke. "Does he know that you called dibs on him?"

Julie narrowed her eyes at Quil, crossing her arms across her chest. "It's not exclusive," she began, toying with the end of her braid. "We're seeing other people - both of us are."

"Well, he certainly is."

"Shut up, Quil," Jenna warned as Julie stood up with storm clouds gathering on her brow.

"In fact," Quil continued, raising a snide brow, "he seems to be seeing enough people for the both of you."

"Yeah, obviously, he's seeing your share of girls too, huh, Quil?"

Quil's smile dropped and Jenna groaned, sensing the impending clash. She stood up, placing her unimpressive form between Julie and Quil.

"That's enough - both of you," she warned, holding a hand up to each of them. "Julie, does Paul… seeing enough women to make up for Quil's celibacy make you feel any better?"

"I'm not celibate!" Quil's red-faced protest went largely ignored as Jenna stared at Julie for a long moment.

"Yes, Quil, you are." Jenna finally snapped when Julie turned away with a dainty sniff. "All of us are - it's part of being in the club."

"Let's vote him off the island," Julie hissed and Jenna groaned, flopping down on her bed and attempting to ignore the sound of the argument taking place at the foot of her bed. If only Jacob would return and take his weird friend with him.

But he didn't. It was almost as if he'd simply vanished into the wind, but she knew he hadn't because she saw their teachers provide Sam Uley with homework packets in the front office. He must have been collecting them for Jacob. Which would imply that Jacob's disappearance was connected to Sam Uley. Which would imply that Jacob would eventually return and he would return looking radically different. Jenna didn't think she could handle that, obviously, she had to find a way to move to Alaska before he returned to school. She'd been so careful to avoid being anywhere near his house so she wouldn't see him.

She'd been doing so well too when it happened. Another grey, dark morning. Another rushed speed walk to school. And another curse from some angry higher power that told her she would witness this every damn time it happened.

Someone was standing there, outside of school. Staring up at the building just like Embry Call had been. Someone who was tall - taller than anyone she'd ever seen. Definitely not 5'7. A sinking feeling overcame her. Somehow, she just knew that he was back. He was back and - because the universe loved to humiliate her - he was tall, taller than Embry. Jenna paused a few feet away, afraid to move any closer. What if he could hear from great distances too? What if he acknowledged her - oh god, what if he tried to talk to her?

She would have sold her kidneys to know exactly where he'd been, who he'd been with, what had happened to him, and why he'd chosen to come back now. And yet, the prospect of receiving any of those answers from his own mouth made her want to hurl. Jacob Black should just go back to whatever hole he'd been hiding in for the last while.

"I know you're standing there."

No. No. No. His voice wasn't supposed to sound like that - he wasn't supposed to sound like that. This wasn't supposed to happen! So what if Jacob was tall and muscular and had the voice of a full-fledged man - she wouldn't let him get to her. All she had to do was call to mind the memory of wishing she could throw up her insides as she heard him talk in the classroom that day and suddenly she was itching to throw a brick at him.

Jenna scoffed, gathering her nerves and closing the few feet she'd kept between them. She made to walk right past him, refusing to acknowledge him or his words or his stupid transformation.

"So you're not gonna say anything to me, huh?"

Jenna paused for a brief moment.

"Embry gets a welcome back but not me."

He could not be serious. This ridiculously large boy could not be serious.

She whipped around, fixing him with a glare that she poured all of her anger and concern and hurt from the past few weeks into.

If she wasn't so angry, she'd want to take a picture of his expression. Jacob's stare was arrested, slack-jawed, awestruck. He was looking at her as if he'd never seen her before as if he were Frederick Banting discovering insulin. Which… made her insulin? He was looking at her like she was something special and precious. The way nobody looked at her.

"Jennifer," he breathed. "It's you."

Jenna was brought up short for a moment, her brow furrowing in confusion. Then the anger returned.

"Yes," she snapped, "it's me. So sorry to disappoint you."

Jacob shook his head immediately as if the words had scalded him. "No! No - I just - how?"

"How?" she echoed, a cruel edge slipping into her voice. "How do I exist? Do I have to explain that to you? And here I thought you had such a wild date planned last we spoke."

Jenna was aware she was revealing far more than she'd ever intended for him to know. But the floodgates had opened. Jacob's face twisted in abject regret, his hands beginning to shake slightly at his sides.

"I'm sorry," he ground out, "I can't explain how sorry I am for - for all of it." His voice had taken a desperate edge by the end of his statement.

"Oh I'm sure you are," Jenna mocked, hurt making her vicious. "Your date probably didn't work out."

"That's not it, Jennifer," Jacob protested, taking a step towards her. "I left - I couldn't - that's not it, I swear."

"Whatever, Black," she sighed, emphasizing her use of his surname while squeezing her eyes shut. "Here's your welcome - I don't care enough to ask where you've been, it doesn't matter to me that you're back now, and I'll accept your apology because… well, that doesn't matter to me either."

His expression dropped with each word she spoke, and Jenna took a sick victory in knowing that he was hurting as well. Good. He should after he'd gone out of his way to hurt her.

His hands began to shake at his sides. Jacob glanced down at them and made a noise of distress, stumbling back several long steps away from her, forcing them behind his back as if to keep them away from her.

"I - I'm sorry," he gasped, making eye contact with her again. "I'm really sorry."

He took off towards the woods, ignoring Jenna calling his name after him. She wanted to hurt his feelings, not send him fleeing into the forest. Now she felt terrible. She called after him again, but there was no answer. He was long gone.

Well, fuck. Happy Monday to her.