Hi everyone! Welcome back to Little Things! If you're new here or returning, welcome (back)! This is a longer update than usual, we go up and down this roller-coaster, but I wanted to leave you on a sweeter note since it's been a bit since the last update. Thank you for reading and appreciating.

I would love a review if you enjoyed it! Thank you!

I'll be a part of your dreams

And I'll never leave your arms

If you want to refuse

Just know that my insistence is also my love

I belong to the one who has felled me

There weren't fireworks. Not that Jenna had been holding out for it, but it would've been nice. There were, however, bursts of colour behind her eyelids from how tightly she'd closed her eyes. That was a plus. There was also thunder from outside, lots of that. Technically, if the two were to be combined, there had been fireworks.

Jacob's lips were just as soft as she'd imagined. Jenna had read enough romance novels to know her way around a kiss. At least she hoped. She didn't think she'd ever live it down if he thought she was a bad kisser. Then again, he would only think she was a bad kisser if he had something to compare it to and that thought alone was enough to make her want to set his garage on fire. Did people normally think this much during a kiss?

He pulled back slightly and she froze, opening her eyes to meet his cautious gaze.

"You're overthinking it." He finally said.

Jenna sighed. "Probably."

It was Jacob's turn to sigh now and he shook his head, looking amused. "Why don't we try that again?"

She would have loved to do nothing more - and this time make it feel more like the kind of kisses she'd read about - but the same higher power that didn't seem to give her a break when it came to avoiding Jacob also didn't seem to want to let her get too close to him. Jenna heard the roaring sound of an engine pulling into Jacob's driveway. She froze for a second, horrified that Billy Black might have arrived home right when she was trying to get a redo on her first kiss from his son.

Billy would have been a blessing compared to what came next. It was so much worse than being caught by Jacob's father and Harry Clearwater. Jacob's face, which had been soft and open mere moments before, had hardened into stone. Jenna turned around and craned her neck to attempt to see out of the garage, but all she could see through the downpour was the blurry outline of a large, red truck and someone getting out. Jacob stood from beside her, rising to his full, intimidating height and crossed his arms over his chest. The stance sent a thrill of foreboding down Jenna's spine. Who could have elicited this kind of a reaction in Jacob?

"Jake!"

Who else could it have been other than Satan?

It was Isabella Swan, but, then again, there wasn't really much of a difference between the two as far as Jenna was concerned. Satan Swan stood in the doorway of Jacob's garage, shaking water out of her hair. Jenna barely swallowed a snarl of anger when stray droplets landed on her face. There was an enormous green, rage monster writhing inside her, completely unrelated to … anything that was taking place. Jennifer Coleman was not a jealous person - jealousy implied vulnerability, it implied emotion. No, she just wanted Isabella Swan's head on a spear for completely personal reasons. There were some people you just didn't… vibe… with.

The monster coiled in anger at the familiarity with which Satan addressed Jacob. No doubt, Jacob had been the one to invite her to call him Jake.

'Everyone calls me Jake.' He'd probably said, with his idiot grin. Stupid, freakishly large... idiot. Jenna was suddenly possessed with the strongest urge to shove Jacob backwards until he fell into his stupid geek box. Again, completely unrelated reasons.

A logical part of Jenna attempted to remind her that Jacob didn't look particularly pleased to see Isabella Swan, he certainly hadn't invited her to see his geek box - had he invited Satan Swan to see his geek box?! Had she sat in the garage?!

"Who's this?"

Jenna blinked, swivelling her head back around to stare at the other girl in an incredulous gesture. Who was she!? She was… that was actually an excellent question, Jenna no longer had any idea who she was to Jacob. Nemesis? It didn't carry the same weight as before.

"What are you doing here, Bella?" Jacob frowned, ignoring the question.

Oh, so she wasn't even important enough to get an introduction, was that it? She was Jennifer but Satan Swan was Bella. Lovely. Absolutely lovely. Now she was definitely going to shove him into his geek box, maybe throw some dirt at him while she was at it.

Isabella moved her eyes away from Jenna, turning her focus onto Jacob like Jenna had been nothing more than a speck on the ground she'd momentarily noticed.

"You're not returning my calls!" She admonished, shoving her hands into her pockets and rocking back onto her heels.

Jenna wondered whether she could shove her down too. What fun it would be. She didn't care if Quil had just been sucking up, she was totally cooler than Isabella Swan. Jenna didn't speak as if every word was being forced out of her mouth for one thing. No, Jenna only ever said wonderful, intelligent things that left everyone in awe.

"Holy fucking hell."

Like that. That was a perfect example.

Both Jacob and Satan looked at her in surprise when she stood up, gathering her backpack up against her chest in a protective gesture.

"I'm going to leave." Jenna held her head high, pulling her hair back into a ponytail to keep it out of her face once it got wet in the rain.

Jacob reached out, grabbing her arm in a gentle yet firm grip. "Jen - don't."

"Did I stutter?" Jenna hissed, tossing his hand off of her arm and glaring up at him. "I'm leaving."

Jacob exhaled, slamming his palm against the car beside him. Jenna heard the distinctive sound of metal denting, mentally filing that away to analyze later.

"It's raining," he finally managed. "Let me take you-"

"Jake, I need to talk to you-" Isabella interrupted, casting a cautious glance at Jenna as if she expected to be the next one hissed at.

"I'm talking to Jenna!" Jacob snapped, holding a hand out in her direction to gesture for silence. "Can't you see I'm-"

He broke off, cursing, before taking a deep breath. He focused his attention on Jenna again, his tone beseeching now. "Just hold on one second, please. It's raining-"

"So what? I'm not going to melt in the rain, Jacob." Jenna glared at him, placing deliberate emphasis on her use of his full name.

She took great satisfaction in his slight wince. "You have your chat," Jenna continued, directing her comments over her shoulder at Isabella Swan. She worked on plastering an unaffected look on her face. "Enjoy."

Jenna turned on her heel, walking to the door of his garage with all the dignity she could muster. Isabella took a step to the side, casting another cautious glance at her, before she sent an awkward smile in Jenna's direction.

"Don't smile at me," Jenna sneered, suddenly hurt and incensed all over again. "We're not friends."

Isabella recoiled, blinking in surprise. Jenna didn't give her the opportunity to muster up a response.

She directed her next remarks to Jacob, glancing back at him over her shoulder and hoping her venom-laden stare conveyed all of the renewed loathing she felt for him. "And nor are we."

This was an overreaction. She knew this was an overreaction. It felt like one too - but that didn't change the fact that it also felt satisfying, easy, and safe. It was safe to storm off in high dudgeon, it was safe to dislike Jacob Black, and it was safe to leave him with Isabella Swan. That was how the world was meant to work. People lived and then they died and they did both of those things with people who were in their leagues and similar to them. Jenna did not fit in whatever equation existed in Jacob Black's life. She was an outlier in his data set. With enough analysis, she could easily be discarded. It was better to discard him first.

Jenna heard him call after her, heard him begin to come after her too. He didn't get far. Nor did she, for that matter. Sam Uley, Paul, Jared, and Embry all emerged from the trees ahead of her. Lovely, it was a fucking family reunion then?

Embry took one look at her expression, looked past her at the garage and promptly deflated. "Are you fucking kidding me?!"

"Jesus Christ," Paul muttered, sharing a judgemental look with Jared before moving over to Jenna's side. "I gather you were just leaving?"

"Nothing gets past you, does it?" Jenna rolled her eyes, wishing she were anywhere but stuck in stupid Jacob Black's stupid driveway with all of his stupid friends surrounding her.

"I like your attitude, Jenny," Paul announced, smiling slightly before the warmth vanished from his expression. "Just don't ever use it on me."

Jenna stared at him for a long moment before nodding wordlessly, figuring there wasn't much more she could say in response to that. Embry looked like he wanted to strangle Jacob, and Jenna felt a strong surge of affection for the boy. For him, she'd consider watching Star Wars. No, that was a lie, she didn't like him that much.

"That's enough, Paul." Sam interrupted.

He met Jenna's gaze with a sort of empathy that made her want to grit her teeth and growl at him. She wasn't an object to be pitied. Nobody needed to feel bad for her. She told them as much too, only to have Sam shake his head.

"I don't feel bad for you," he clarified, his eyes flitting past her to Jacob, still watching the entire exchange from where he and Embry stood a few feet away. "I feel bad for what you're going to do to him."

"I'm not going to beat him up," Jenna muttered, feeling self-conscious at the way Jared and Paul were suddenly looking at her.

"You won't have to," Sam shrugged, walking past her to work interference between Jacob, Isabella, and Embry.

"For what it's worth, I would pay real money to watch that," Jared volunteered, grinning at her. "Like I would literally rob a bank and pay you the entire amount if you went at him right now."

"I'll keep that in mind," Jenna sighed. "Can I leave now? I just want to go home."

She was suddenly exhausted, wanting nothing more than to curl up in her bed and cry for a while. Her eyes burned with the need to shed tears, but she knew better than to let herself think too closely about the swell of emotions churning within her. Emotions meant vulnerability. Jacob could never know that he held the power to hurt her.

"I wasn't aware we were holding you as a hostage," Paul smirked, raising a solitary brow at her. His smirk faded when Jenna didn't rise to the bait and a look of sympathy came over his face.

"Sorry," he mumbled. "Yeah, get going short-stack. Take it easy. You need me to walk you home?"

Jenna shook her head, shouldering her backpack and beginning to walk down the path.

"Hey, Janey wait!"

"Sorry, sorry," Jared muttered, easily catching up to her. "I had a feeling it wasn't Janey. Jenna right?"

"Yup." Jenna deadpanned. "You know you don't have to walk me home, I know the way."

"I know you do," Jared affirmed. "I just do not want to be there and I figured it couldn't hurt you to have an escort."

Jenna didn't respond, falling into silence. She was keenly aware of Jared shortening his footsteps to match hers. Part of her wanted to be self-conscious of it, but the larger part of her was too exhausted to even allow it any airtime. She just wanted to go home. Go home and go back to real life, normal life, where she was just Jenna and Jacob Black wasn't an enigma.

"Don't take it so hard, yeah?" Jared advised, nudging her gently with his oversized form. The small gesture was enough to send Jenna stumbling to the side.

He swore, reaching out to steady her, his hands emanating the same intense heat that Jacob's did. An answering ache took up in Jenna's chest and she sighed, allowing Jared to right her before she could topple over.

"I'm not taking anything hard," Jenna muttered, her hands curling into fists in her pockets. "That would imply that there's anything to be bothered about."

Jared was silent for a long moment. "You know, in my experience, ignoring something doesn't make it any less real."

"I know," she whispered.

It was something she knew well. She'd spent most of her life ignoring everything. Ignoring that her parents' marriage was less than happy, ignoring that her father didn't like his life, hell - she even ignored the fact that he'd killed himself in their garage most of the time. What good did it do to think about things that couldn't be changed? Ruminating about everything that was wrong in the world, everything that was wrong in her world, wouldn't do anything to start fixing any of those things. Nothing would. Wasn't it better to just pretend nothing was happening? Wasn't it safer to pretend that nothing bothered you? Eventually, it had to start feeling true.

"But," Jared continued, exhaling in a rough motion, "sometimes it makes things easier to live with."

Jenna was aware of the stinging in her eyes and the sudden lump in her throat. The timing couldn't have been worse. She forced herself to nod, not trusting her ability to speak.

"Yeah," Jared agreed, kicking a small stone off the path, "I figured you would get it."

Jenna watched the stone he'd kicked fly off the path, bouncing once before it settled in the grass a few feet away. She felt like that stone. Suddenly uprooted and tossed into unfamiliar territory by a power much larger and stronger than her. She'd never seen it coming, and had no idea how to make her way back.

"It's not - it's not about him," She volunteered, feeling the need to explain herself for some reason. "Or even about her - it's… everything."

Jared made a sound of agreement, nodding. "I didn't think it was."

"If it helps," he continued, "I don't think I'll ever forget your name again."

"Oh yeah?" Jenna challenged, smiling despite herself. "What is it then?"

"Easy," Jared scoffed. "It's Jenna."

"What's my full name?"

He froze, looking very much like the oversized deer in headlights she suspected he felt like. "Please don't do that to me. Not right now, it's not - it's too soon."

Jenna laughed, even though she'd started the walk believing she'd never laugh again. Jared's laughter joined hers and she felt some of the weight on her chest lighten.

"Hey," she managed between chuckles, "can I ask you a question?"

Jared stretched, cracking a few vertebrae as he answered on a low groan. "I don't think I get to say no when I still don't have your name down."

Jenna rolled her eyes. "What did you mean when you said you didn't want to be back there?"

Jared blinked, wracking his brain, seemingly to recall what she was referring to. "Ah, that. Yeah, exactly what it sounds like. Jacob's annoying - sorry - and I can't stand Isabella Swan."

Jenna made a small noise in her throat, ignoring the apology Jared had directed at her for what she considered his rightful assessment of Jacob, and filing away the fact that she might have an ally in him.

"I mean, nor can Paul."

That was predictable. Paul - Jenna should have realized that one on her own.

"Hell, I don't think Embry is quite a fan either - at least not after today."

That caught Jenna's attention. "What do you mean?"

"Nothing," Jared said, after a loaded pause. "Just - she's bad vibes. Who just shows up at someone's house, yeah?"

Jenna sniffed, tension flooding her muscles again. "Well, obviously she felt she was desired. Who knows, maybe she is."

Jared paused again, another loaded silence. The kind where he seemed to be debating how much he should say. "Uh… I think I can - I don't - I don't think she is."

"But what do I know," he backtracked when Jenna turned to fix him with a stony look. "Spoiler alert: not much."

Jenna could appreciate a man who knew he knew nothing. She nodded her approval at him, straightening her shoulders and forcing her gaze forward as they began to approach her house. Jared paused at the end of her driveway, his eyes not leaving her until she stood in her doorway and waved sheepishly back at him. He responded just as awkwardly before turning back the way he came.

It was time to forget. It was time to avoid it. This wasn't real, it hadn't happened. There was nothing to be upset about - emotions were for people who deserved them. For situations that warranted them. This was not one of those times. Jacob Black didn't deserve her tears. He didn't deserve anything.

"He deserves to die."

"I still think we could lure him to the cliffs and shove him over."

Jenna blinked at Julie and Quil for a long moment, before swivelling her gaze around to Kim. "What, you have nothing to add?"

Kim sniffed in a dainty motion, keeping her eyes trained on the pile of knitting in her lap. "I was taught that if I have nothing nice to say, I should say nothing at all."

They all continued to watch her, waiting for her to finish. She finally sighed, lowering her knitting and fixing them with a stern look. "This is me saying nothing at all!"

"Oh," the rest of them said in unison.

"That's pathetic, Kimberly," Julie snapped, leaning forwards to brace her hands on her knees. "Pick a side! Take a stance!"

"Advocate for murder?" Kim questioned, her eyes cautious and disapproving.

"Hey," Julie protested, "all I'm saying is that it's naive to think there aren't people who deserve it."

Kim exhaled, her nostrils flaring. "Oh? So, you must love capital punishment then?"

"No," Julie scoffed, "a racist colonial government doesn't get to decide who lives and who dies."

"But you do?" Quil interrupted, raising a doubtful brow.

"Yes." Julie's voice brooked no disagreement. "I'm an excellent judge of character."

"Okay," Jenna interrupted, gesturing for Julie to be silent, "I love vigilante justice as much as the next person-"

"Who is not me!" Kim insisted, throwing down her knitting with a huff. "I hate violence."

"God, get over yourself," Julie sighed, looking vaguely disgusted. "Violence is the answer a … decent percentage of the time."

"Like 90?" Quil volunteered.

Julie was silent and pensive for a long moment. "Lower."

"85?"

"Lower."

"67.5?"

"Very plausible."

"Hey, yeah sorry, can we get back to me?" Jenna snapped, waving her hands over her head. Apparently, it was too much to ask that the focus be on her at the emergency meeting she had called at her house. How ridiculous of her.

Quil pursed his lips, sharing a loaded glance with Julie. "So selfish," he muttered.

"Right?" Julie agreed. She sighed and gestured for Jenna to continue as if she were doing her a favour. "Yeah, go on."

Well, now she didn't want to. Not if they were going to act like they were doing her a favour. Jenna crossed her arms across her chest and glared at the pair of them.

"No, why should I?" She sniffed. "I won't even tell you about the kiss."

"THE WHAT?!"

Jenna winced when all three of her friends burst into speech simultaneously.

"You kissed Jacob!"

"And you didn't call me IMMEDIATELY?!"

"It was Jacob, right?"

"Did he initiate it?!"

"Why does that matter?" Julie snapped, shoving Quil's shoulder.

"Shows what you know!" Quil cried. "It makes a difference - if he made the first move, she has the power here!"

"Oh Jenna," Kim sighed, clutching her hands together, "was it everything you hoped it would be?"

"Are you clinically insane, Kim?" Quil asked kindly, stroking Kim's head in a condescending gesture. "We started off discussing how he should die, where the hell did you get the idea that it went well?"

"Power!" Julie burst out. "Use the power to step on his face."

"Not physical power, idiot," Quil groaned. "If he made the move to kiss her, then she gets to be the one that he came on to, not the other way around."

"He came on to me, thank you very much!" Jenna snapped, her cheeks flaming. She would never let them think that she had made a move on Jacob - she would saw off her left arm and eat it before she did that.

"Showed me his stupid geek box and - and asked me to watch stupid Star Wars."

Julie looked disgusted. "And you still let him kiss you? God, are you that desperate?"

Jenna growled, throwing a pillow at Julie. She wished she could suffocate her with it instead. It was ridiculous to explain now, but it had been wonderful and sweet in the moment and then Jacob had gone and destroyed it. Jacob had destroyed it and now Julie was making her feel stupid for doing it in the first place.

"He showed you the box?" Quil's expression was soft and sentimental.

"It's a box," Julie deadpanned. "Not the crown jewels - which were stolen from India, might I add."

"He doesn't show just anyone the box," Quil explained, sounding vaguely defensive. "It has some really important stuff in it. Like things his mom got him - just - his prized possessions are in that box, he would barely pull it out when Embry and I were around."

Jenna swallowed, tearing her gaze away from her friends to take a shaky inhale. She forced down the guilt bubbling up within her at how she'd wanted to shove him into his box, how she'd stormed off when he'd shown her something so important to him. How many times had she angrily referred to the box as stupid? He'd shared a part of himself with her and she'd thrown it back in his face.

"I hope you didn't call the box stupid in front of him." Quil's voice was slightly censuring now.

"Yeah, that's just fucking rude," Julie agreed as if she hadn't been disparaging Jacob's box mere moments before. "You don't call someone's treasure chest stupid to their face. You can think about it, but you don't say it."

"I didn't!" Jenna protested. At least she didn't think she did. She was almost entirely sure that she'd only thought about it.

"So wait," Kim interrupted. "You said that you left because Isabella Swan showed up - she showed up while you were kissing Jacob?"

Jenna's face flushed again and she clenched her hands tightly in her lap. "Yeah, basically."

"That crafty bitch," Julie gasped.

"She's one wily coyote," Quil agreed.

"Oh Jenna," Kim sighed, scooting closer and folding Jenna into a hug. "I'm sorry, sweetie."

"I just can't believe it," she continued. "I can't believe Jacob would kiss you and then have her over and ignore you."

"He is also one wily coyote," Quil commiserated. "I can't believe he's that dumb."

"Nor can I," Julie agreed, her eyes razor-sharp on Jenna now. "In fact, it seems almost too dumb. Even for Jacob."

Jenna ripped her gaze away from Julie, sinking further into Kim's embrace. It was okay to use Kim as a shield from Julie. She could hold her own. Jenna needed the support, she was fragile.

"Jenny," Julie cajoled, crawling over to shove her face close to Jenna's. "Tell me exactly what Jacob said to her when she arrived. I'd like to hear the words."

"Don't make her say it," Kim scolded, gently stroking Jenna's hair. "It might be too painful."

"Aw, yeah," Julie agreed, reaching out to stroke Jenna's hair as well. Her hand suddenly made a fist. "She'll live though."

"Tell me now, Jennifer," she commanded, ignoring Jenna's yell of pain as she yanked on her hair. "What exactly did he say to her?"

"Ow!" Jenna shrieked. "Let go of me, psycho!"

"You haven't seen psycho yet," Julie smiled, "I will dangle you out your window if I don't get the answer I'm looking for in 3…"

"Stop it! You'll kill her!" Quil cried.

"2…"

"Julia Monkman! Enough!" Kim insisted.

"1…"

"What are you doing here, Bella?" Jenna cried, struggling to pull Julie's fingers out of her hair. "Okay?! That's what he said."

She sighed in relief when Julie released her hair, rubbing the aching spot on her scalp. "He asked her what she was doing here and she said he hadn't been returning her calls."

The silence stretched on around them for what must've been hours. Hours that actually only ended up being 2 minutes when Jenna glanced at her bedside clock. Her face felt like it was on fire as all three of her friends stared at her with different expressions on their face. Kim looked pitying, Julie smug, and Quil exasperated.

"I know it doesn't sound like much-" she began and they all rushed to interrupt her.

"That's because it isn't," Julie supplied.

"It sounds like it still hurt you," Kim whispered, compassion written on her face. "Those feelings are valid."

"Are you kidding me right now?" Quil demanded. "He wasn't talking to her and that's still a problem?"

"He called her Bella!" Jenna snapped, struggling to explain why it had been so hurtful to be confronted by Isabella Swan when she'd finally begun to allow herself to hope for….something. "He called her Bella but he calls me Jennifer."

"Dude, he's the only one who calls you that," Julie scoffed. "To the point where it's weirdly intimate."

"Yeah," Kim agreed, "that's kind of your guys' thing."

"I don't even know why we're having this conversation," Julie continued, "because you already know he's the only one who calls you that, and you also know how fucken weirdly intense it is."

She did. She knew all of it. It didn't change anything though. Jenna had kissed him. She'd let Jacob kiss her and she'd let herself begin to trust him and immediately been confronted with the kind of person he should be with, the kind of person he'd wanted to be with only a few weeks earlier. It had been just the two of them, she could've fooled herself into thinking it was just the two of them in that tiny little part of the world. Then, Isabella Swan had been there and shattered any illusion Jenna had allowed her stupid heart to begin to build. How many days would it be before Jacob realized what was so obvious to her? Would it be weeks, months? That didn't matter. All that mattered was that one day he would. He would wake up and realize that he could do so much better than the damaged, fat girl who brought disaster to everything she touched. It didn't matter that he hadn't invited Isabella in and chosen her over Jenna that day - because he would one day. And if she let herself hope now, she didn't think she could survive it when that day eventually came.

"It's the vulnerability," Quil sighed, looking like he suddenly understood the madness of Jenna's mind. "The vulnerability that comes from putting yourself out there and from a first physical experience. It's wanting to be reassured that it was magical and stirring and meaningful for the other person. When that doesn't happen, it's scary and hurtful and easy to come back to what's safe. Anger can be safe."

Jenna gaped at him in shocked, emotional silence. She wasn't alone. Kim sighed wistfully, blinking away tears, and Julie looked like she was deep in thought.

"Where the fuck - how do you know that?" Julie finally demanded, looking floored.

Quil looked abashed, casting an embarrassed glance at Jenna who was still too overwhelmed by his assessment to speak.

"I read it in one of Jenna's books. Devil's Darling. The one that used to be on your night table. With James and Marlene," he explained, shrugging in an embarrassed motion. "Speaking of which, have you finished reading it yet, I really want to talk about the ending?"

"Not yet," Jenna managed, sniffing and rubbing at her eyes in a rough gesture. "Almost. The carriage just went over-"

"No, wait, don't tell me!" Kim cried, "I want to read it too."

"I read faster than you do," Julie pointed out, "can I go first?"

They continued to bicker over who would get to read first once Jenna finished while she sat in silence, contemplating Quil's words. Vulnerability. She hated vulnerability. Did she hate it that much? That she'd let it become a shield she used to protect herself from taking any risks? Quil scooted over to her, nudging her slightly with his shoulder. Jenna was reminded of Jared doing the same not so long ago.

"I think you should finish the book now," Quil advised, looking like he knew something she didn't. Considering that he'd already finished the book, she supposed it wasn't an incorrect assessment.

"In fact," he continued, nudging Kim and Julie and gesturing towards the door, "we should go so you can finish the book and … process the ending."

"Uh sure," Jenna agreed, unsure of what he was trying to convey, but understanding that it was important. "Who am I giving it to next?"

"Don't worry about that," Julie assured her. "Kim and I will have a fist-fight to decide that."

Kim didn't look like she was overly enthusiastic about the plan, but agreed nonetheless. Her friends assured her that they would see themselves out and Jenna settled back into her bed, pulling out the book and staring at the dust jacket in weighted silence. What secrets did it hold? That was dramatic, but obviously, there was something in here that Quil thought she needed to read. Jenna took a deep breath, flipping open to the page she'd been on and beginning to read.

James rode hard against the storm, ignoring the stinging impact of rain on his cheeks, the ice that came with the wind hitting his sodden form. Nothing mattered. All that mattered was getting to her. Marlene. How would he ever be able to begin to make amends for his pride? For his unwillingness to see that love wasn't something to guard against. It was the sweetest torment, a risk worth taking. He'd spent so many years trying to protect himself from experiencing any more pain, that he'd caused himself more agony than anyone else ever could.

Ah, so it wasn't a subtle cue then. Quil had not cast her as the ill-treated heroine. No, Jenna was the prideful hero of this love story. Rude.

Now, he could've lost her entirely. Lost the one thing in his world that made sense, that made his dreary existence worth continuing on. Marlene was warm and light, her smile was sunshine. How could he have been so blind? The sun was never cruel, never malevolent. It simply was. It extended its warmth to all those who required it. Marlene had given her warmth to his cold world, lit his dark house with her light and turned it into a home. She'd opened her heart to him, showed him the deepest corners of her soul, and he'd scorned her. He'd turned her away. He was a monster, undeserving of any sort of forgiveness.

Jenna was left vaguely wondering how this was meant to make her feel better. She was the monster in this scenario, it wasn't a pleasant feeling. To think, only this morning she'd been casting stones at James, having a gleeful old time of it. Now, she was left to make sense of his actions and her own.

James dropped to his knees beside her crumpled form, gathering her into his arms while his heart bled for every scratch and mark on her body.

"You can't leave me, Marlene," he pleaded, clutching her close to him, trying to infuse her shivering body with his own warmth. "I still have a thousand apologies to make."

Definitely not a thousand.

"I was wrong," James wept, stroking Marlene's hair in a gentle motion. "I was afraid. I was terrified that I'd give you my heart and, one day, you'd realize you deserve so much better and toss it away. God, what would become of me then?"

This was - how did they - who had written this? When had Jenna given her permission to expose her private thoughts like this?

"And now I've lost you entirely," he moaned. "I'm such a fool. I pushed you so far away, and in doing so, I've broken my own heart."

James finally allowed his tears to fall in earnest, no longer caring who thought what of him. The only person whose thoughts mattered - the only one who mattered to him - was gone. It was his doing. Would it be such a terrible thing to be known as a man with a heart? To have anyone who looked at him know he was a human being who could love and mourn? What was there to protect when he hadn't allowed himself to feel anything for so long?

"I let my own insecurities take you from me, you were at no fault. The fault is mine. How can I blame you when I loathe myself so much, I could scarcely believe there was anyone who felt otherwise?"

This wasn't nearly as fun now that she was in James's shoes.

James supposed he'd spend the rest of his life feeling this way. Broken, incomplete, and like a gaping part of him was missing. He'd always feel like the entirety of his heart was an open wound, left to fester and be gawked at by anyone who passed. It was no less than he deserved. He'd spend the rest of his life wearing his heart on his sleeve if it meant that Marlene could awaken and accept it as her own.

"How could I not feel otherwise, James? How could I ever loathe you?"

His heart leapt into his throat, his eyes searching wildly to find Marlene's familiar, soft brown gaze. Watching him with the same warmth, compassion, and forgiveness she'd always given so indiscriminately. He may not deserve it, but he'd never scorn it.

"Marlene! Save your strength, don't speak."

"Oh James," Marlene sighed, covering his hand that rested on her cheek with her own. "When will you see what I see when I look at you? I see a man who aches to be loved, who is intelligent and strong and capable. I see a man I am proud to adore, and a man I know adores me."

"I do," James gasped, clutching her closer. "I do adore you. I'm so sorry, Marlene. I'll spend the rest of my life making it up to you, I'll change - I'll become someone who deserves you-"

"There's no need, silly," Marlene scolded gently, stroking a lock of ebony hair out of his face. "Come as you are. For me, that will always be enough."

Jenna sniffled, feeling immeasurably jealous of stupid James, who got to be guarded and prideful and still adored. How unfair. Marlene came back from near-death to tell him she loved him just as he was. She couldn't even bring herself to continue reading their reunion, skimming over to see more declarations of love, more assurance, and a marriage proposal. Wow. James could chase someone away and they'd agree to marry him. Jenna could run away from someone and not even be pursued. Such inequality. Yes, she was not a Victorian-era Duke who was sinfully wealthy. She was not tall, and fit, and handsome - or a catch by any means. Still.

The sound of a pebble hitting her window made her freeze, sobering her immediately. She waited in silence, wondering whether it could have been a fluke somehow. Then it happened again. Another tap against her window. It had to be deliberate. How else could it have happened twice in the same spot? Jenna began to scramble, pulling the kitchen knife that she kept under her pillow at all times out and clutching it like a dagger as she approached the window. Another tap sounded as she approached. The floorboard creaked under her foot and she froze. No other tap sounded. She began to reach for the curtains with one, shaking hand, the other raising the knife to strike. If she timed it correctly, she could induce a hemopneumothorax. The chest cavity would fill with blood and air and the intruder would die within minutes.

A low creak sounded from outside the window as if the tree outside was shifting under the sudden weight. A person's weight. There was a person outside her window. She wrenched her curtains aside with an inhale, shrieking and dropping the knife when she saw a figure crouched in the tree outside her window. The figure swore loudly, lurching forwards to clutch at her window, watching as she leapt aside to dodge the falling knife.

Her heart was hammering in her throat, her hands shaking as she stared at the figure with squinted eyes that were rapidly making the hulking shadow out to be Jacob Black.

"What the fuck is the matter with you?!" He snapped, his voice oddly muffled by her closed window.

Jenna gaped at him, fear fading to be replaced by irritation. She wrenched up the glass of her window, shoving her head out into the cold air. "What's the matter with me?! What the fuck is the matter with you!?"

"You could've hurt yourself!" Jacob hissed, bracing his hands against the exterior wall of her house.

"Oh yes, and lounging in a tree outside my window is the safest thing you've done all week, yes?" Jenna rolled her eyes.

"It is, actually," Jacob sneered, "but that's beyond the point. What the fuck was the knife for?"

Jenna moved to straighten, freezing when Jacob's hand landed on her head, holding it firmly in place.

"You'll bang it into the frame," he explained in a gruff voice.

Jenna swallowed hard, tearing her eyes away from his and clearing her throat. "I was going to use the knife to give you a hemopneumothorax if you must know."

"A what?"

"I was going to make you drown in your own blood," she explained.

To his credit, Jacob didn't laugh. It was obvious how much he wanted to, so she had to appreciate the control it must have taken to resist.

"Through the glass?" He still looked like he was fighting a smile. To that end, his hand was still on top of her head, resting there like a warm, heavy, and familiar weight.

Jenna huffed, scuttling backwards and pulling her head back through the window to stand up straight in her bedroom.

"I would have found a way," she whispered, wondering whether she was trying to convince him or herself.

Jacob shrugged in response, telling her to take a few steps backwards. Jenna obeyed without question, immediately wishing she'd resisted. By then, he was already manoeuvring himself through her window into her bedroom, so it was a moot point.

He was in her bedroom. Jacob Black was in her bedroom. Where she slept. And changed her clothes - she had been naked in this space and now he was standing here. Nope, no, she didn't need to go there. Speaking of being naked - she wasn't - but he was. Also not naked. Half-naked. He was half-naked. Jenna tore her gaze away from him, unable to risk stealing a glance at his new figure and being caught doing so. She rocked back on her heels, looking anywhere but at the impressive bulk of him in her small bedroom. The issue with that was that she became keenly aware of her own clothing - or lack thereof. She couldn't be faulted - if she'd known he planned to bluster his way into her bedroom, she would've made sure to wear her most elegant pyjamas. As it stood, she was in little more than a pair of shorts and a t-shirt she'd forced Quil to give her from one of his overnight bags.

Jenna decided she would not be embarrassed by it. She figured if she told herself that for long enough, eventually it would translate and she would stop wishing she could dive under her covers and hide. Besides, it wasn't as if she was trying to impress him. She would not adhere to the male gaze in the privacy of her own bedroom. Yes, that was a good way of thinking about it.

While she'd been attempting to be polite and courteous despite his lack of clothing, Jacob seemed to feel no such obligation. His gaze was appreciative and vaguely possessive. Jenna was torn between being pleased and offended. Finally, she decided on clearing her throat in a pointed gesture she thought toed the middle line nicely.

"So - I wanted to talk to you about what happened today," Jacob finally began, forcing his eyes up to her face.

Jenna blanched, wringing her hands in the hem of Quil's t-shirt, tugging on the fabric. The move caught Jacob's attention and she flushed under the sudden sharpness of his gaze.

"Yeah, I think that's fair," she finally whispered in agreement, waiting with bated breath for the setdown she deserved from him for her… tantrum.

It didn't come. Instead, he was silent for a long, long moment. Jenna chanced a glance up at him and found him frowning at her, stormclouds gathering on his brow.

"Jaco-"

"That's Quil's t-shirt," he interrupted. He glared at the fabric, as though wishing he could rip it off her. Jenna tried not to sit too long with that image nor with the less than appropriate emotions it evoked.

"You're wearing Quil's t-shirt," Jacob repeated, his ire mounting. "Why are you wearing Quil's t-shirt?"

"That's what you want to talk about?" Jenna asked, wondering whether it was wise to provoke him when he seemed like he was already irrationally upset about it.

"Now it is!"

"Okay," she agreed, holding up her hands in a gesture of surrender. "Yes, it's Quil's t-shirt. I told him he had to give it to me, or else I would take it from his bag."

"His bag?!" Jacob demanded. "When did he have a bag here? Why - a school bag? A bag from school?"

Jenna shifted, swallowing her instinctive feeling that the answer might get both her and Quil in a world of trouble. Although, he didn't really have any right to be mad at either of them. It wasn't as if anything had happened - or would ever happen - but also, she didn't owe Jacob anything. Somehow, Jenna felt that pointing that out to him might not help her case.

"It was… an overnight bag," she said carefully, "for a group sleepover with Julie and Kim. Where he slept on the floor."

Jacob froze. "A sleepover?" He echoed quietly. He laughed, although Jenna didn't think it was a particularly humorous sound.

"Quil had a sleepover with Julie, that's gonna go over well."

"With who?" Jenna asked.

"Never you mind," Jacob scolded, glaring half-heartedly at her. "Sleepover with Quil," he muttered under his breath, crossing his arms firmly across his chest in a move that made the muscles in his arms flex.

Jenna swallowed, forcing herself to look away again, although she was sure that the image would be forever burned into her brain. She didn't think she'd ever be able to close her eyes and not see the rippling flex of Jacob's muscles.

"Why did you want Quil's shirt?" He finally demanded, fixing her with another displeased stare.

"My God, is it that serious?" She cried, throwing her hands up in exasperation. "I liked the shirt!"

"It is that serious!" Jacob growled. "You can't kiss me and then wear Quil's shirt to sleep, that's not - it's not allowed!"

Part of Jenna wanted to ask him if he'd be okay with her wearing Quil's shirt to sleep if he hadn't kissed her. Somehow, she knew the answer wouldn't be different. She swallowed the triumphant, feminine part of her that delighted in the irrationality of his jealousy. Was it jealousy - was that what this was? Jacob was jealous because she was wearing Quil's shirt? It sounded stupid even in her head.

"Are you … jealous?"

Jenna immediately wished she hadn't asked. Now he could laugh in her face and tell her she was stupid. Why would he be jealous - he'd only be jealous if he cared about her? By asking, she'd given him power - stupid James, this was the worst part about being perceived as a feeling human being!

Jacob looked at her like he thought the answer to her question should be obvious. "You're a very intelligent girl, Jennifer. What do you think?"

Jenna exhaled, blowing her hair out of her face in an exasperated move, trying to roll the tension out of her shoulders. "I don't know what to think."

"Don't be an idiot," Jacob snapped, sitting next to her. The bed dipped under his weight, sending Jenna careening into his side. His arm shot out, wrapping around her shoulders and absorbing her fall. Jenna looked up at him automatically to find him already staring down at her.

"Yes," he finally ground out. "I am jealous."

Jenna gulped, releasing a shuddering exhale and pulling her eyes away from him to stare at a point on her carpet. She was acutely aware of the weight and heat of his arm across her shoulders, the possessive touch of his fingers down her arm.

"Give Quil his shirt back," Jacob urged, and she felt his exhale ruffle her hair. "You can have one of mine."

Her heart was galloping in her chest, squeezing erratically as her palms broke out in a sweat. "Bu-"

"I know you said we're not friends," Jacob interrupted, resting his chin atop her head. "I don't care. I think we both know that I'm not after being your friend."

Jenna pressed her eyes shut, her tongue darting out to lick her suddenly dry lips. She was ashamed at the reminder of her earlier words. This hadn't been the plan - wasn't he supposed to shame her for her ridiculous behaviour and actually appalling rudeness to Isabella Swan? If she ever saw her again, she'd have to apologize. The thought was enough to make her want to gag. Just because she could recognize she'd treated her rudely, didn't mean she liked her any more.

"You're very quiet for someone-"

"-who owes you an apology," Jenna interrupted. "I owe you an apology. I'm sorry for how I behaved today."

Jacob made a low noise that she felt reverberate through his chest. "Looks like jealousy got the best of us both today."

Jenna gasped, wanting to deny the allegation immediately. She forced herself to stop and swallow her protests. He had been candid with her, she supposed she could concede that jealousy might have had something to do with her behaviour.

"Maybe," she allowed, and she both heard and felt him chuckle. "But then again, maybe not."

"You know," Jacob hinted, "while we're on the subject of your earlier behaviour, I believe you owe me a do-over."

"A do-over?" Jenna echoed, both knowing exactly what he was referring to and wishing he would say it.

"A do-over," he affirmed. "Your overthinking interrupted my first kiss, I think I'm entitled to a second shot at it."

Her heart squeezed in her chest, the enormous green-rage monster in her chest lounging in blissful relaxation at the disclosure that he, too, had no other kisses to compare their earlier one to.

"You're entitled to nothing," Jenna pointed out, trying to keep herself composed while she adjusted her position in his grip so she faced him now. "However, I'll make an allowance just this once."

Just once. Maybe twice. Maybe three - maybe she stopped counting.