After shocking my mom, Inko Midoriya, about going somewhere in general (let alone so early), I arrive at the Trash Beach at six in the morning.
For anyone curious, the reason I call it the Trash Beach is because it is a beach covered in trash ranging from normal shit to full-blown trucks.
It's horrible, disgusting, and disappointing.
Anyway, I am hoping Yagi did not mean for me to arrive earlier because he only said early in the morning-
"GOOD MORNING, YOUNG MIDORIYA! ARE YOU READY FOR YOUR FIRST DAY OF TRAINING?!" All Might screams as he appears in a hop beside me.
"First off, don't wake up the fucking locals. Two, go back to being Yagi. You don't need to be wasting your time if you're limited as you say you are. Three, yes. What are we doing?"
All Might transforms into Yagi, and I swear it's almost a personality switch because he is more chill, "You'll be cleaning up this beach for training for the next ten months. You should be ready by the time the UA exam is around to obtain my quirk."
"I'm assuming this is training to prepare me for the quirk itself?"
"Yeah. If I were to give it to you right now, your limbs would explode off! You need to build up muscle to prevent this as your a currently a twig."
"How comforting. Why the beach and not a gym?" You can't blame me for the sarcasm.
"Being a hero is not just about saving people; it's about giving back to the community. You will be building muscle while providing citizens a clean environment! It also always disappointed me whenever I look at this beach. It was clean when I was younger, so there are memories connected to it."
"Makes sense. I assume you want me to clean this completely up?"
"Most of it, at least."
"Too bad, I am fucking extra so we are going all the way. Let's get to it!"
"I appreciate the enthusiasm, but you might want to tone down on the language, my boy. It's not very nice to curse."
"You curse in English, don't you?"
"Uh..."
"Yeah, I thought so."
I set to work by getting to the small stuff.
Over my time together with All Might/Yagi, I have learned many things.
1) Yagi is a horrible teacher. This man expected me to drag a fridge on the first day when I can barely lift my bookbag without a problem! I'm so glad he chose me because anyone else would be screwed. I work on my own mostly, which he does let me, so bless.
2) Yagi is a dumbass. Okay, that's an extreme statement. He probably is smart on the field. However, in some situations, like when giving me, a fucking sociopath, a quirk, he's mostly impulsive. That actually leads to point 3.
3) Yagi is socially-awkward. I don't know why this came to me as a surprise, but it did. He's fantastic as All Might because he was trained in that but not as a regular citizen. It just shows how much of a living he sacrificed to protect us. (I may or may not have gotten a couple of All Might things because he truly is a genuine hero.) I learned to appreciate him and his work despite the times I want to punch him in the face. It didn't stop me from throwing trash at him at times, though.
4) Yagi needs culture. Don't worry; I got everyone covered there! I've been teaching him all sorts of modern slang! I don't know if he uses it, but at least he knows it. However, it's the best thing ever to see him use it. If I ever see him use it as All Might, I'm going to make a fucking shine with that shit.
5) I may want to kill Yagi at times, but I do appreciate him weirdly enough. He's like family-figure you never wanted but you deal with because you don't necessarily hate them.
Now that's all on Yagi, but what about me?
6) I have no standards for how much I work out. At the beginning, I constantly worked out even outside of All Might's "Dream Plan" because damn I wanted to get this done. However, I kind of passed out so All Might readjusted the program to allow me to work out more, but I have to take care of myself.
7) Apparently I have the determination to work out in the first place! I'm not even going to attempt to explain that shit!
8) I look fucking awkward with muscles. It's like putting a baby face with a buff body. It just doesn't work, but I better get used to looking at it! I better not be stuck with a baby face for the rest of my life because I will get plastic to fix it if it doesn't fix itself.
And finally, and more importantly,
9) WHOEVER THE FUCK LIKES WORKING OUT MUST BE INTO BDSM OR SOME SHIT BECAUSE THIS IS HORRIBLE! IT JUST MAKES ME WANT TO DIE MORE!
Anyway, here is some exclusive footage of idiot and dumbass working together!
"Sir, you can not be fucking serious."
"Language, young Midoriya! But whatever do you mean?"
"The only thing I lift on the daily is food, and you expect me to move a fridge?! Unrealistic! We're starting off with small things."
"You'll have to move it eventually, my boy."
"Eventually, yes. After I build up muscle to move the bitch. I'll pull a muscle or something if I try now, and I'm too broke to go to a hospital." Yagi takes a moment to consider.
"That...makes sense. Excellent observation, young Midoriya!"
"How are you the number one hero again?"
"Hard work and dedication!" That has me curious about something.
"I'm betting the crumbs in my pocket that you have no idea how to do basic things like cook and clean." Well, more of a statement.
"I'll tell you the answer if you clean this section up before tonight!" Yagi signals a large area that I would have to break my back over to get it done by tonight.
"You really don't want me to know, huh?"
"Can you blame me?"
"Yes and no."
Just so everyone knows, All Might, the number one hero, does not know the basic jobs of life.
"YEET!" I scream as I throw a garbage bag into the trash bin. Honestly, screaming helps with the pain.
I was working by myself until Yagi's voice interrupts, "Please tell me you aren't using foul language, young Midoriya."
"...you have never heard of YEET?"
"No?"
"Oh, you poor soul. Do you at least know what a meme is?"
"No?" I drop the trash I was holding and stare at Yagi like he is a psycho.
"...I can't be your successor anymore. Find someone else."
"Young Midoriya, no! Why don't you teach me what this 'meme' is?"
"I mean, but are you ready for that power yet?"
"We shall see, my boy." I watch him seriously before picking up the discarded trash.
"First meme. THIS BITCH EMPTY! YEET!" I throw the trash into the trashcan. I hear Yagi probably coughing up blood again.
"M-midoriya, do you have a-any more appropriate memes?"
"Oh, there are so many! You will be cultured soon enough, you uncultured swine!"
"Cultured."
This is going to be a while.
Yagi is rolling on a electric scooter ahead of me while I am trying to keep up by running. So far, I feel like dying! For once, I don't mean just mentally but physically too!
"Come on, my boy! If you don't keep up, you're going to end up working at McDonalds!" I wonder if he is making a meme intentionally or not because he knows McDonalds due to being too interested in America. Yeah, I'm keeping standards low for now with him. That's not going to stop me from continuing the meme.
"If I don't catch up, I'll get McDonalds?!" I huff out. Huh, I wonder why I feel worst after saying that. And weaker.
"Young Midoriya, no!" I don't know what he expected.
The next thing I know, I collapse onto the disgusting ground.
Yagi runs over to me and bends down, concerned, "Midoriya, are you okay?!"
I nod, attempting to get up. Of course, my bitch of a body is not having none of it as when I try to lift my torso, I drop like a doll. Does it hurt? Yes. Do I care mentally? No. Do I care physically? Apparently!
"Have you been working outside of the routine, my boy?" Yagi figured out something! Give him a round of applause, everybody!
"Yeah." No use in lying.
"Why?"
"It's not like I have anything else to do with my life."
"You should have told me so I could at least readjust your plan."
"Oops?"
"You're resting for the rest of the day." For once, Yagi is being stern!
"Does that mean I am getting McDonalds?" Not my fault I am hungry.
Yagi sighs, "You are definitely something, my boy. I don't see why not."
"Thank you in advance, idiot!"
"Something tells me that nickname is meant to be mean."
"It is."
"Could be worst coming from you. Can you move?"
I attempt to move with intense pain, but I'm used to it in my head so it works, "Yip yip!"
Yagi does get me McDonalds, so I am super happy! Maybe I won't throw trash at him tomorrow!
Day of Exam
"YASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!"
I AM DONE WITH THIS HELLHOLE! THE BEACH IS CLEANER THAN FUCKING HEAVEN, SO PEOPLE BETTER KEEP THEIR GODDAMN TRASH IN A TRASHCAN!
Well, besides for the 50 feet of trash that I am standing up, but I can't do much with it as it needs to be transferred.
HOWEVER, IGNORING THAT, I AM DONE!
What was all this for?!
"Young Midoriya! You've finished!" I turn to see Yagi approach the pile of garbage I have accumulated. Due to the height difference (SUCK IT, YAGI, I AM TALLER THAN YOUR FOR ONCE!), we have to yell at each other, "It looks beautiful!"
"Uh-huh!" The beach really does. I don't know why people decided to dump their shit here. However, I'm not going to complain when I got a bunch of cool shit out of it!
"Now, how do you plan on getting down from there?"
"Huh. I didn't think of that, idiot." I assume I can't jump down without breaking my legs and an arm. Yes, this was an impulsive move.
.
.
.
"Oh, can you catch me if I jump?" Damn, I'm putting a lot of trust in this old man.
Yagi shifts into All Might, "Of course, young Midoriya- YOUNG MIDORIYA!" While he was talking, I jumped on him. All Might has not problem catching and setting me down, "A warning, my boy!"
"I was just testing your action time."
"Please test it in a safer location, next time! Either way, I am very proud of what you have done! I believe you are ready to obtain my quirk!" Oh yeah, that's the whole point of this.
"Say your top secret louder, why don't you?"
All Might coughs awkwardly, "Thank you for the reminder. Now!"
I promise you God that I am not lying about this part.
All Might plucks a strand of his golden hair from his anti-gravity bangs and presents it to me, "EAT THIS!"
.
.
.
"I'm not that big of an All Might fan, sir."
All Might starts freaking out, " No, no, no! That's not what is for. In order for you to obtain my quirk, I need you to digest some of my DNA."
"I feel like I should have gotten a warning for this."
"Sorry?"
"Some days you make me want to cry," I mumble as I take the way-too-long piece of hair and shove it down my throat.
I hate this and I want a refund for my life.
All Might, however, does not seem to care, "Now that it is done, we have to wait for it to be digested. It should be by the time the practicals happen! To active the quirk, squeeze your buttcheeks and yell smash at the top of your lungs while punching!"
It takes me a minute to digest what he said, "That is the worst advice ever. Like, I would have been better on my own than you telling me that."
"I'm sorry, Young Midoriya, but that's the only way to describe it!"
"I'm more concerned if you have a drinking problem."
"I can't drink when I don't have a stomach, my boy." I forgot about that. All Might literally does not have a stomach. Whoever he was facing destroyed his stomach and part of his respiratory system, I believe.
After a look of how ugly it is, I can confirm it.
I sigh, " All Might, just go back to being Yagi and let me handle this. Besides, I'm already running late for my exam after the whole hair fiasco and your hellish description of what to do."
Yagi does as asked, "I wish you luck!"
"Have my funeral ready!"
You would think that for the amount of outrageous stuff that comes out of my mouth, Yagi would expect it every time. He has gotten better, but not enough to stop him from coughing up blood every time.
Welp, time to go to hell number two!