So this one is just a bit of fun, hope you enjoy it.
"Colonel O'Neill," Hammond barked, "Why are you running in the hallways?"
"Can't stop sir," Jack replied out of breath, sliding to a stop in front of Hammond, "Otherwise you're going to have to find a new leader and..." he paused as Daniel slid into his back, "A new archaeologist for SG1 too."
"We need to get moving Jack," Daniel said, looking back the way he and Jack had just come from, "They'll be here soon."
"See ya General," Jack said with a wave.
Hammond watched open-mouthed as Jack and Daniel took off running again. He was about to yell for Walter, to see if he knew what the hell was going on, he was slightly concerned that his flagship team had picked something up off-world that he needed to know about when Sam and Teal'c appeared in front of him.
"Have you seen the Colonel and Daniel sir?" Sam asked, fury clear on her face.
Hammond's open mouth opened and shut a few more times as Sam and Teal'c stared at him. Having never been on the receiving end of Teal'c's stare before he felt a shiver of fear go down his spine before he spoke. "They went that way," he said gesturing in the direction that Jack and Daniel had just run off in.
"Thank you, sir," Sam said. She and Teal'c then took off running in the direction that Hammond had pointed them.
Hammond watched their retreating backs then hurried to find Walter. He did not run, he was the commander of the base and base commanders did not run, but he definitely hurried. "Walter," he said as he saw Walter sitting at his desk, "Let the rest of the base know that SG1 are to be avoided at all costs. Going by what I have just seen Colonel O'Neill and Doctor Jackson have pulled a prank on Major Carter and Teal'c, and they are not happy."
"Of course sir, def con three?" he asked. Long ago he and the General had come up with a shorthand to deal with SG1's antics.
Hammond thought about what he had just seen and shook his head. "Def con one Walter."
Walter stared at him in shock for a few seconds before he swallowed hard and nodded. "On it sir," he said.
Hammond nodded and then headed up to his office, planning on staying well out of the way until either SG1 had worked it all out, or they'd left the base.
Walter quickly passed the word and in a surprisingly short amount of time, the corridors of the SGC were completely empty except for the game of cat and mouse that SG1 were playing. Lots of people had tried to catch a glimpse of Sam and Teal'c, they'd all heard about what Jack and Daniel had done, but they also didn't want to come into contact with the angry pair so they all had to be really careful about it.
Sam and Teal'c stalked angrily through the SGC, trying to work out where Jack and Daniel would be hiding. They tried Daniel's lab but they weren't stupid enough to hide anywhere obvious, they also checked Jack's office. He spent so little time there he might have thought it would be a safe place to hide.
After those two places had been a bust they kept looking, but Jack and Daniel kept moving which made it difficult.
"I was thinking," Daniel said to Jack as they took a break in one of the isolation rooms, "Maybe we should leave the base."
"We're on the clock," Jack pointed out, "We can't just leave."
"Might be worth going and seeing Hammond and asking," Daniel said.
Jack nodded in agreement then moved to the door and glanced out, making sure the coast was clear. "They're not out here," he said, glancing back at Daniel, "Now's a good time to move again."
Daniel nodded and the two of them made a beeline for Hammond's office, keeping to the back corridors as much as possible. "I've never seen the SGC so empty," Daniel commented as they jogged to their destination."
"Yeah it's weird," Jack agreed.
They kept going and then slid to a halt as they heard heavy footsteps somewhere nearby. "Freeze," Jack hissed as he pushed Daniel against a wall. He looked around the corner and saw that Sam and Teal'c were stomping towards them.
"Other way," Jack hissed, "Back the way we came, now."
Daniel bolted like a hare from a greyhound, Jack close on his heels. "In here," Daniel said, pulling up the door to one of the emergency ladders. Jack dived in after him and then quickly, but softly, pulled the door shut behind them.
"Down two levels," Jack instructed, "Then get out and head for the General's office."
"On it," Daniel said.
He started down the ladder and after he'd gone down a few rungs Jack followed after him. He kept his eye's up, hoping that Sam and Teal'c wouldn't think to open the door and look down.
He was in luck, they managed to get out two floors below where they'd started. They sprinted for the General's office, wanting to make the most of the gap they'd now opened up.
Jack knocked on the door then burst in without waiting for a reply. He was surprised to see Hammond duck slightly behind his desk as he came in but didn't mention it as Hammond straightened in his seat once more.
"I see Carter and Teal'c haven't caught up with you two yet," he said.
"No sir," Jack agreed. "We were hoping you would give us the rest of the day," he said in a rush, his eyes forever flitting between all the windows, keeping an eye out for Sam and Teal'c, "We were thinking we might be a safer leaving for the day if that's ok."
"Of course," Hammond agreed eagerly. If they left, and he let Sam and Teal'c know they had, then SG1 would be off base and no longer his problem, and then everyone else would be able to get back to work without having to worry about getting in the way of Sam and Teal'c.
Jack and Daniel were both surprised by how fast he had agreed but then they both nodded. "See you tomorrow sir," Jack said.
They made their way to the door but Hammond stopped them. "In the future," he said, "Maybe watch what you're doing prank wise. I know you need to blow off steam but really, blue dye?"
"It was an accident General," Daniel said quickly, "It was just meant to be a few spots of blue, not dye Sam's whole head or Teal'c's soul patch."
"Good luck," Hammond said to them.
They took that as their cue to leave. Jack checked the corridor then turned to Daniel. "I've got a better idea than trying to sneak out of here."
Daniel narrowed his eyes but then followed after Jack as he headed out of Hammonds office, across the briefing room, and then slowly down the stairs to the control room, ready to run the other way if Sam or Teal'c appeared.
In the control room, they found Walter at his desk. "Do you know where Carter and T are?" Jack asked him, "Check the security feeds for us."
Walter looked at them quickly and then nodded. "They're at Major Carter's lab," he said finally.
Jack and Daniel frowned at each other. "Why would they be there?" Daniel asked, "They can't think we're hiding there."
Jack shrugged then his eyes suddenly widened. "Revenge," he said in a sinking tone.
"Crap," Daniel muttered, "But at least if they're in the lab then there's plenty of time to get changed and to the surface."
Jack nodded and then the two of them took off running again. Walter watched them go then headed up the stairs to Hammond's office. "Did you give them permission to leave General?" he asked.
"I did," Hammond answered. "Keep an eye on them on security cameras please," he then instructed, "And once they're changed let Sam and Teal'c know that they're headed to the surface." He saw Walter's face sink slightly. "Don't worry," Hammond continued, "I'll do it myself, just let me know when. There's nothing the Colonel can do to me."
"Thank you, sir," Walter said in relief, "I really wouldn't want Colonel O'Neill annoyed at me, he can be pretty scary."
Hammond nodded and then Walter left. Ten minutes later Walter called up to him that Jack and Daniel were on their way to the surface.
"Attention base," Hammond said into the base-wide comm system, "Especially Major Carter and Teal'c. Colonel O'Neill and Doctor Jackson are in the process of leaving the base, please go after them and get your prank war off base. Everyone else, once they're gone it will once again be safe to be in the corridors."
In the elevator, Jack and Daniel looked at each other. "Traitor," Jack muttered.
"Yeah," Daniel agreed, "But I can't say I blame him. I'd want an angry Sam and Teal'c as far away from me as possible as well."
Down in Sam's lab, she and Teal'c looked at each other and Sam smiled at him. "Oh, this is going to be good."
"Indeed," Teal'c replied.
"Have you got everything?" Sam then asked him.
Teal'c nodded and the two of them left her lab, heading to the locker room. They changed into their civies.
"Well they'll still be somewhere nearby," Sam said as the two of them made their way to the lift. She held up her hand, two keyrings hanging from her finger. "I wonder when they'll notice that their car keys weren't where they left them."
-/-
At that exact moment, both Daniel and Jack were staring at their respective cars in horror.
"Have you got your keys?" Jack called over to Daniel.
"No," Daniel answered, "You?"
Jack shook his head. "I'm sure I put them in my jacket pocket when I got in this morning," Jack then said.
"Yeah me too," Daniel replied.
The two of them looked at each other with sudden understanding on their faces. "She didn't."
"She did," Jack said, "Damn, I hate it when she uses her brains for evil. This was such a mistake."
Daniel nodded. He looked nervously back at the mountain. "So what do we do now?"
"Two options," Jack said quickly, "One, we make a run for it on foot and try and get as far down the road as possible, but that's not going to work, all it'll take is Sam asking the guards if we've left and then they'll be able to catch up with us no problem."
Daniel nodded in agreement. "What's option two?"
"We leg it into the trees and hide."
"Option two," Daniel said quickly.
"Thought so," Jack said.
The two of them headed for the trees that surrounded the base.
-/-
Sam and Teal'c stepped off the lift on the surface and made their way to the guard station. "Can I borrow your phone please airman?" Sam asked the man at the guest. He silently handed it to her. She quickly called the front gate extension. "Hello, it's Major Carter," she said, "Can you tell me if Colonel O'Neill or Doctor Jackson left the base please." She listened for a moment. "Thank you very much." She hung up and handed the phone back. "They haven't left," Sam told Teal'c, "They're still somewhere within the perimeter fence."
Teal'c nodded and the two of them headed down the corridor. Once they were out of hearing range the airman picked up the phone and dialled down to Walter as he'd been ordered to. "They have left," he told the man on the end of the phone, "But they are all still within the perimeter fence." He listened for a moment. "Yes sir. I would not want to be in Colonel O'Neill or Doctor Jacksons shoes when they get caught," he said, "But I do think the blue hair suits them." He hung up the phone and returned to the magazine he had been watching when Sam and Teal'c had appeared.
Outside Sam and Teal'c headed towards Daniel and Jack's cars. "Can you pick up the trail Teal'c?" Sam asked.
Teal'c studied the ground for a moment before he responded. "Indeed I can MajorCarter," he said, "They went that way." He gestured off into the trees.
Sam nodded. "Do you have everything?" she then asked him.
He nodded and the two of them followed the trail into the trees, Teal'c in the lead as Sam followed after him.
-/-
Ahead of them, Daniel was beginning to flag. "I can't keep going Jack," he puffed, "We've been running for too long."
Jack looked back at him and nodded. "We could just give up," he suggested.
"I was thinking more hide," Daniel admitted.
"That works too."
They found a large tree and then climbed up it, going as high as they could, hoping that the branches would hide them from the ground.
They hadn't counted on Teal'c's bloodhound abilities and soon they were looking down at Teal'c and Sam, who were glaring back up at them.
"Hey Carter," Jack called down, "Fancy seeing you here." He waved at Teal'c as he spoke.
"You put hair dye in my shampoo," Sam stated, her voice angry, "And my hair is now blue."
"Indeed," Teal'c said. It wasn't as obvious that he was angry, but Jack and Daniel knew him well enough to gulp as he spoke. "You also put dye into my grooming products."
"In our defence," Jack said quickly, "It was only meant to be Carter's shampoo, and it was meant to be stuff that washed out immediately." He concentrated on Sam as he spoke. "You were just meant to have a very blue shower, with maybe a few streaks of really pale blue."
"Well clearly that didn't happen," Sam said. Her hand went up to her hair self consciously. All of it was a bright vibrant blue.
Teal'c's soul patch was also slightly blue, although nowhere near as bad as Sam's was.
They'd found out at the same time and the shouts had been heard from the corridor outside of their respective changing rooms. They'd come out, both looking angry, and most people had quickly cleared that area. They'd taken one look at each other and realised that Jack and Daniel were likely responsible for it.
They had been proven right when they'd marched down to Daniel's lab and confronted him. He'd seen them coming, taken one look at the pair of them and run the other way, calling for Jack as he went.
That had started the game of cat and mouse game that had caused all their coworkers to hide in their offices.
"Would it help if we said we were sorry Sam?" Daniel called down.
"Not in the slightest," Sam called back up. She looked at Teal'c. "Shall we?" she asked.
Teal'c nodded and opened the rucksack he had been carrying, offering it to Sam first. She reached in and pulled out two paintball guns. Teal'c dropped the rucksack and took one of the guns from Sam.
"Jack..." Daniel said to Jack nervously.
"We're screwed," he said honestly, "And I don't think we're going to sweet talk our way out of it."
"Indeed," Teal'c called up to them.
He and Sam took aim and then started shooting up at them. The first few hits missed but then they got their eye in and soon Jack and Daniel were covered in splodges of blue paint, from head to foot.
They both emptied their clips and then dropped the guns down to their sides.
"Does this make us even?" Jack called down.
"What do you think Teal'c?" Sam asked the large man.
"I will consider it if they buy us dinner to apologise properly."
Sam looked up at them questioningly.
"Sure," Jack said, "Steaks and beer at my place." He looked at his watch then smiled. "And since Hammond said we can knock off early I say we go now."
"Can we get out of the tree now?" Daniel asked.
Sam and Teal'c took a step back and then Daniel and Jack gingerly climbed down. They got to the ground and the four of them looked at each other and then all started laughing at each other.
-/-
Down in the control room, Hammond was watching the four of them on the security monitors. He looked at Walter and shrugged. "I really don't know what to do with these people sometimes," he said, "But at least they've made up." He then shook his head. "I'm going to go and make a call, let the rest of the base know everything is fine."
Walter nodded.
Hammond then headed up to the office and sitting at his desk grabbed his desk phone to dialled Sam's mobile.
"Carter," she said, answering it.
"Hello Major," Hammond said, "I want the four of you to have the rest of the day off, you probably all need a break."
"Thank you, sir," Sam replied, "What about my hair sir? It's not exactly uniform."
"I had a look at the bottle that they used," Hammond told her, "And it's semi-permanent. You're not going off-world for a few weeks so we'll wait and see if it's washed out by then. Until then I think the blue hair suits you Major."
He heard Sam laugh slightly. "Thank you, sir," she then said, "And we're sorry we caused the rest of the base to run to ground."
"You're forgiven Major," Hammond replied before hanging up.
"What will I do with them," he muttered to himself.