Illumi really and truly thought he was safe within Heaven's Arena, far from his family's clutches. After all, they had no idea where he was or how he had gotten there. All they knew was that he left for what should've been a three-day mission and never came back.
He honestly thought they'd be confused. Maybe even a little angry with him, especially once they found out he was alive and hadn't been delayed by anything other than himself. But... he was wrong. They didn't even bother to be confused first. They were absolutely outraged. He could tell from the harsh, angry tone of voice his father had used when he called him. It was a sort of anger that the normally calm, composed Silva didn't usually express. And it terrified Illumi. It rattled him to his core.
Ever since that phone call, he'd been extremely timid, and more wary of his surroundings than usual. He knew that, because he'd blatantly refused to return home when asked, his family would come looking for him. There wasn't a single doubt in his mind that they'd find him. They'd probably lock him up, whip and beat him for days straight. And then they'd leave him there for a few extra days alone and bleeding, just to make sure he'd learned his lesson. Hell, there was a chance they'd exact a cruel punishment upon him and then leave him to rot. Because of his disobedience, he knew his freedom was at risk.
It had been two days since Hisoka had brought Saki home. It had been violently storming ever since. The sky seemed to be filled to the brim with roiling black clouds that spanned from horizon to horizon, bringing endless waves of strong winds and torrential rains along with them. Illumi didn't mind the general cacophony of the storm raging outside, but... the bright white flashes outside the windows from the lightning tended to startle him because they reminded him of the way his mother's expensive jewelry would flash wherever the light refracted off it.
Hisoka had been home ever since the storm began. Because the weather was so dangerous, all the matches in the arena had been rescheduled for next week. He had nothing to do except build card houses on the coffee table, watch Illumi pace back and forth across the living room, and listen to the sounds of rain hammering away at the windows.
The assassin had seemed distressed for the majority of the day. His facial expression and tone of voice gave no indication of any sort of emotion, but his body language betrayed how anxious he was. Between the pacing and the nervous fidgeting, it was extremely obvious he was fretting about something. Hisoka was extremely curious regarding the matter because it took a lot to rattle the terrifying Illumi Zoldyck.
What could be bothering him? He's practically indestructible because he fears neither pain nor death. He has no reason to be worried about anything, really. So, the fact he's exhibiting signs of stress means something's really wrong. Hisoka thought to himself, as he added another card onto the pyramid he was building. He tilted his head to one side, amber eyes scanning over the pyramid, making sure it was perfectly level. Satisfied that it was, he glanced upward at Illumi, who was still walking back and forth between the bookshelf near the door and the full-length window along the opposite wall.
His waist-length black hair would occasionally brush against the translucent white curtains covering the window each time he turned around sharply and made his way back to the bookshelf, silky strands contrasting beautifully against the fabric and producing a soft, barely audible whispering sound.
Hisoka's lips twitched upward in something of a smile as he watched Illumi's fluid, graceful movements, completely entranced by the sight. There was something about the assassin's repetitive, elegant motions that was strangely hypnotic. Hisoka had a very hard time prying his gaze off the ravenet so he could focus on his cards.
"You've been pacing for an awful long time, darling. Aren't you getting tired?" Hisoka asked, his tone soft and amused.
"No." was Illumi's blunt response. "I'm not tired, though I appreciate your... eh... concern."
Hisoka snickered and added another card to his pyramid, clicking his tongue disapprovingly. "Bold of you to assume I'm concerned. I must admit I am intrigued, though. What on earth's got you all riled up like this? You're usually so still and quiet you could be mistaken for a life-sized porcelain doll."
"I'm fine. It's nothing." Illumi said, tersely. He paused for a moment to give Hisoka an inquisitive stare. "You really think I look like a doll, of all things?"
"It was more of an expression than anything else, but I suppose you could actually be mistaken for one. Your skin is pale and perfectly smooth, like painted glass." Hisoka hummed, finishing off the third row of his pyramid and adding two cards to the top to form a fourth. "Say nothing about those pretty eyes of yours. You're much too beautiful to be human, you know."
Illumi scoffed. "I assure you I'm not a doll or anything of the sort. You're demented."
"I've been called worse." the redheaded magician shrugged, only to grin from ear to ear as a certain Saki bounded into the room on her short, stocky little legs. "Oh, look who finally woke up from her nap!"
The little ball of fluff didn't hesitate to trot right over to Illumi, prodding the back of his leg with her nose. He jumped a little and turned to look down at her, abysmal black eyes meeting icy blue ones. She stood up on her hind legs and pawed at his leg impatiently with her two front paws that were much too big for her body, yapping at him in greeting.
"You're weird. What is it with you and constantly vying for my attention, hmm?" Illumi wondered, as he bent down and scooped the wriggling puppy up. She immediately lunged at him, twisting around in his grasp and making an almost frantic attempt to lick his face. He anticipated this and leaned back a bit, staying well out of her reach. "Good morning. I'm happy to see you, too."
Hisoka chuckled. "She can't understand you, Illu-chan. You know that, right?"
"You don't know that; you've never been a dog before." was Illumi's monotonous response. "Besides, I like talking to her. She listens. And she doesn't laugh at me like you do. So, in short, I like the dog more than I like you."
"I didn't peg you as the type to favor an animal over a human. Interesting."
"Only because the animal's a hell of a lot more pleasant to be around than the human."
"But, at the same time, you did say that you like Saki more than you like me, which implies that you do like me at least a little bit. How sweet." Hisoka purred, waving a hand teasingly in Illumi's general direction as he focused on making his pyramid taller.
He felt rather than saw the absolutely hateful glare Illumi shot his way immediately following his statement. "Don't read between the lines, Hisoka. I don't hate you, but at the same time, I'd be perfectly content if you got run over by a cement mixer right about now."
Hisoka was opening his mouth to respond with another tacky and remarkably flirtatious comment when he realized that Illumi had lost interest entirely and wandered into the kitchen with Saki in his arms. She had stopped squirming around like a fish out of water and had plunked her head down on his shoulder with an adorable doggy grin spread across her face. It was obvious the two had bonded really well. On one hand, Illumi had already developed a habit of carrying her around everywhere he went like he would a small child. On the other, when she wasn't in his arms, Saki was always following him around and trying to get his attention.
Hisoka knew he had made a good decision by bringing Saki home a few days ago. Her presence meant Illumi had a chance to form a positive bond with something, something he could take care of like he did his younger siblings when they were toddlers.
"You two seem to really love each other, don't you?" Hisoka called out, as Illumi fished a bowl out of one of the higher cabinets set into the wall and set about filling it up with some dog food.
"Love?" Illumi's head shot up and he turned around to give the magician a confused stare. His gaze softened a bit when Saki nosed at his cheek and licked his nose, taking advantage of his current distraction. "Yes, I suppose that's the case. She is my responsibility, after all."
"Oh, come on, Lu-chan. She's special to you, admit it. You're already treating her like you would your own child, and it's only been a matter of days since I brought her home."
"She was a gift, yes? It would be extremely rude of me to disregard and neglect a gift such as this."
Hisoka rolled his eyes with a knowing smile. "Sure, Illumi. Sure."
The ravenet decided to ignore him and finished up what he was doing. He knelt down and placed the bowl on the floor, setting Saki down along with it so she could eat. She scampered over to the bowl the moment her paws touched the ground and began wolfing the food down like it was the only meal she'd ever been granted in her entire life. Illumi remained crouched on the floor, lightly stroking the length of Saki's back with that same blank, unreadable expression on his face. There was a strange sort of glimmer in his black eyes that wasn't there before, though.
Hisoka took to watching the odd duo with obvious interest. Something about Illumi was so unexplainably beautiful in that moment. Maybe it was the way his shining hair black as a raven's wing cascaded down his back and over his shoulders, like a waterfall in the dead of night. Maybe it was the way his locks framed his well-defined face, from his high cheekbones and slanted, snake-like eyes to his small, straight-edged nose and plump, full lips.
Hisoka would be lying if he said he didn't want to know what those rosy, soft-looking lips would feel like on his. He had no idea why, though. Usually, his mind went to his own personal pleasure and gain, he didn't give a damn about anyone other than himself. But there was some part of him deep down that wanted to shelter Illumi, protect him, teach him how to be human.
Saki suddenly let out a high-pitched, almost sassy bark that immediately jolted Hisoka out of the sort of dazed stupor he had entered whilst watching Illumi.
"You can't be serious. I'm not giving you more food until this evening. If you eat too much, you're gonna become a chubby puppy." Illumi scolded, lightly patting Saki's head affectionately as she nosed at his other hand, searching for hidden treats. The little snuffling sounds she made were absolutely adorable. "Greedy dog. Very, very greedy."
Hisoka smiled and leaned forward ever so slightly. The motion caused his card pyramid to come tumbling down in a heap atop the glass coffee table. He let out a soft sigh of frustration. He'd completely forgotten about his pyramid, so now he'd have to start all over again.
All of a sudden, there was a bright flash of lightning outside the window that caused Illumi to jolt and sit bolt upright, almost as if he'd been electrocuted by the lightning somehow. A second later, there was a clap of thunder so loud it shook the building.
He doesn't seem to like lightning. How odd. Hisoka thought, regarding the assassin with newfound intrigue.
"You alright, Lu-chan? It's only the storm outside, nothing to be worried about." he called out, voice tinged with amusement. He found it interesting that there were certain very trivial things that genuinely bothered or scared Illumi, like puppies or lightning.
"Yes, I know." Illumi bristled slightly, picking up on the tone of Hisoka's voice. "I just can't help but think about my mother when I see bright flashes like that. She always loved wearing really expensive, flashy jewelry that reflected light so well it was almost blinding at times."
"Huh." Hisoka nodded his understanding, expression softening slightly. "I wasn't trying to mock you or anything, darling. It's a perfectly rational thing to be startled by lightning. Bright, flashing lights are upsetting to some." Since when do I care about things like this? Have I gone mad? Really, I shouldn't care at all that he seemed a little ticked off by what I said.
Illumi considered this for a moment before saying, "I'd be fine with it if it weren't for the fact it makes me think my mother's entering the room."
"I've seen Kikyo before. She does seem like a nasty, bitter woman." the magician shrugged, hunching over and gathering all his cards up into a messy pile on the table. "And the fact she was somehow okay with marrying your unfeeling brute of a father just makes me wonder if she's as narcissistic as he is."
"It was an arranged marriage. As assassins and members of the Zoldyck family, we aren't allowed to choose who we take as a partner. Our parents want to be the ones to decide who gets married to their children. I guess my grandparents really liked my mother, because they deemed her a perfect match for my father." Illumi explained, giving Saki a couple more pats on the head before standing up.
There came a low rumble of thunder in the distance, not nearly as loud as the first. Hisoka waited for the last echo of the sound to fade away before continuing the conversation. "I can't imagine being forced into something like that. You must be absolutely miserable, knowing that any day now your parents can grab some random woman you've never met before and expect you to marry her, start a family with her."
"Fortunately for me, my parents don't exactly acknowledge my existence most of the time. I highly doubt they're worried about finding me a partner." Illumi replied, eyeing the window cautiously, as if trying to predict what trajectory the storm outside would take next. "But you're right. It isn't all that nice knowing I have absolutely no choice in the matter."
"Hmm. How pitiful." Hisoka considered this for a moment before lightly patting the empty seat on the couch on his right side, eyes lighting up as an idea came to him. "Why don't you come over here and let me teach you something?"
The ravenet gave Hisoka a very suspicious stare. "What exactly is it you want to teach me?"
"Have you ever built a card pyramid before? You know, where you stack a bunch of playing cards like mine into little triangles and form a structure out of them?" the magician asked, his musical voice and facial expression clearly indicating how pleased he was with himself for having thought up such a thing.
"I've never built one myself, but I have watched you build them before. Is there any way learning something like that would benefit me?"
"Not in the way you're thinking. Your definition of benefitting is basically my passing along a skill that will help you either impress your parents or prepare for future missions, correct?" Hisoka paused for a moment, waiting for Illumi's hesitant nod of confirmation, before continuing, "What I'm thinking is more of a personal or emotional benefit. There's a legitimate reason I spend my free time building these things, childish and pointless though they may seem."
"I don't know about that. You do a lot of things that can be considered childish and pointless. What makes this different from everything else?" Illumi raised one eyebrow and Hisoka scoffed.
"Why don't you come on over here and find out for yourself instead of being a brat about it? I'm not luring you over here so I can wring your neck or anything like that. You can trust me."
"Trust is a gift, not a given right." Illumi declared. He still made his way over to the couch and plopped down beside Hisoka regardless, so in the end, he was just saying that for the sake of getting the last word in.
Hisoka gathered his cards up and straightened them out into a neat pile. "You know, I actually started making card pyramids for reasons other than boredom."
"Oh?" Illumi cocked his head like a bird, eyes riveted on the deck of cards sitting atop the coffee table, studying them closely.
"Yep. Not only does it help improve things like hand-eye coordination and focus, but it can also represent something else entirely." Hisoka began forming little triangles out of his cards, making sure the bottom edge of each card was touching. "Each card represents accomplishments. Things you've worked hard to achieve. Every success, every new skill can be built upward to one specific goal. It doesn't matter how impossible the goal may seem at first."
Illumi blinked a couple times, processing this new information. "What exactly do you consider a goal?"
"Well, for me, it would be my strength and Nen prowess. I want to be better than everyone else, which means the achievements I want to build up toward that goal would be things like defeating those as strong or stronger than me." Hisoka explained, finishing off the bottom row of the pyramid and passing the deck to Illumi. "For you, it might be something along the lines of becoming the world's most deadly assassin. Or impressing your parents."
"Obtaining my parents' pride is more important to me than my profession." Illumi said, bluntly. He fidgeted with the cards for a moment, playing around with them and trying to determine the best way to stack them on top of the row Hisoka had already created.
"I thought you might say that. Now, the thing about card pyramids is you can't make them too big. Although they are fairly stable structures, they are still made of flimsy material. If you make them too large, they will collapse under their own weight. The same could be said about the metaphorical representation of these cards, too. If your goal keeps getting pushed up higher, eventually the weight of all the things you've done will catch up to you. You'll wear yourself out, crumble, or just die altogether pushing yourself to meet an unrealistic goal." the magician continued, watching with interest as Illumi slowly but surely began stacking cards on top of the first row.
Naturally, Illumi was good at it despite having no former experience with such things. He was just so coordinated, and he was exceptional at laser-focusing on certain tasks he was expected to complete with precision. He couldn't work as fast as Hisoka could, though. Seeing as it was his first time building a card pyramid, he felt the need to go slowly so he wouldn't goof it up and knock the whole structure down.
"I think what you're trying to say is that it's foolish to run towards what might very well be an unobtainable goal." Illumi stated, eyes riveted on the card triangles he was meticulously stacking upon the row Hisoka had already created. His hands shook slightly as yet another flash of lightning went off outside the window, casting a bright white light within the room for a split second.
"Exactly. That's what I've been trying to warn you about with your parents, darling. Just when you think you've met their expectations, they raise them. You've already done so much just for the sake of impressing them that you've already built up pretty much every personal achievement humanely possible when it comes to assassination. If you continue on like this, it won't be long now before... you break." Hisoka reached out and lightly grasped Illumi's wrist to get his attention. He was surprised when the assassin didn't immediately yank his hand away, but instead slowly turned to face him.
"You really think so?" Illumi looked so very confused in that moment that he seemed more like an innocent child than a cold bringer of death.
"Yeah, I do. And... surprisingly... I don't want to see that happen. You need to find a way to escape your parents, Illumi, before they completely destroy you." Hisoka took the deck of cards from the ravenet and set them down on the glass coffee table so he could cup both of Illumi's hands between his own.
Illumi stiffened, completely freezing up. He was stunned into silence because rather than feeling repulsed, he just felt... self-conscious. He was suddenly hyperaware of the callouses between his fingers from years and years of practicing with his needles, and of the long, narrow scar with a raised edge several shades paler than his natural complexion slashed across the soft flesh of his forearm.
Nobody should ever want to touch his hands because they were stained with the blood of thousands.
But... maybe it was okay because Hisoka's hands were stained, too.
Hisoka could feel lean, corded muscles twitching in Illumi's hands, which were pleasantly cool to the touch. They were small and so very delicate, especially when compared to Hisoka's. He was known for having larger hands, but he didn't really notice until Illumi came along.
"I'm not trying to tell you how to live your life. You don't have to listen to me. You can do whatever the hell you want. All I'm saying is that you'll lose what little bit of yourself you still possess, and you might even wind up killing yourself just trying to be better than what you already are." Hisoka said, after the silence had become so prominent it was suffocating.
"I know." Illumi said, though his voice sounded slightly strained and the room seemed to shake slightly immediately after he spoke. "I've known for a long, long time. But... I don't want to risk..." he began stammering a bit, suddenly at a loss for words.
"Disappointing them?" Hisoka asked, trying to help the assassin out a little bit.
"They never pay any attention to me as it is. If I were to do something that actually got their attention in a bad way, they'd... probably lock me up and... never let me out again."
Hisoka felt a slight pang in his chest he didn't understand. He had always hated the idea of his own freedom being snatched away from him because it was the one thing he considered cruel and unjust. But for Illumi, it was a legitimate possibility, especially now that he'd stayed away from home far longer than he was supposed to.
"Did they tell you they'd do that to you?" Hisoka asked, his voice softer and gentler than Illumi ever remembered it being.
The ravenet swallowed thickly and nodded. "I could handle the pain of being shackled to a wall and starved to death. I could handle the cold, the dark. But I can't stand the thought of rotting away down there, alone and completely forgotten. My parents will ensure nobody remembers me. They'd erase all traces of my existence. And I'll be... a lump of cold, dead flesh hanging in the dark, waiting to be found."
Hisoka noticed the way Illumi's half-lidded gaze began turning toward the floor, and released one of his hands to lightly touch his cheek, getting his attention. "Illumi, look at me. I'm not gonna let that happen to you, okay?"
"Impossible." Illumi gritted his teeth and pushed Hisoka's hand away from his face. "My parents will stop at nothing until they have their way. I just know it."
"They couldn't make me forget you even if they tried. I've told you before that you're so very fascinating to me. I won't allow someone as beautifully, mysteriously unique as you to go to waste like that." Hisoka shook his head, lightly squeezing the one porcelain-pale hand he was still holding on to. "That's a fate even I deem cruel and disgusting. You don't deserve to be chained up and abandoned."
"Yes, I do. But that doesn't mean I want it."
"Then I'll make sure it doesn't happen. If this isn't a good reason to stay here, I don't know what is."
"My parents are gonna come looking for me. And when they find me, I'll have no choice but to go with them."
"Let them come. I've got a few tricks up my own sleeve that might help me deal with them. They're strong, anyway. Fighting them would be so much fun."
Picking up on the lustful edge creeping into Hisoka's musical voice, Illumi slowly but surely went to pull his hand out of the magician's grasp. That was the first time the young assassin had ever let anyone touch him for so long without eliciting a negative reaction from him. He hated being touched because he'd learned that nothing but pain and discomfort came from physical contact with another human being. So why was Hisoka an exception to that?
Out of all the people in this world outside my own family, Hisoka's the one I should expect to hurt me the most. He's certainly had plenty of opportunities to do so. Why hasn't he? Illumi wondered, his eyes never leaving Hisoka's glittering amber ones.
"You don't want to try and fight my family. Trust me. They'll kill you." Illumi warned, clasping his hands in his lap, the corner of his mouth twitching ever so slightly.
"Perhaps. But that's only if they all attack at once. If it's just one or two at a time, I could handle that with ease." Hisoka hummed, tilting his head to one side and closely studying Illumi's porcelain-pale face. "Maybe even three. I'm strong enough to deal with a handful of assassins."
"That depends on who comes out. My father and my grandfather would present quite the challenge, even for you."
"Sounds like fun."
"You're delusional."
"And you're a brat."
Illumi rolled his eyes, running his hands through his long, perfectly straight black hair. "Is there a real reason why you feel the need to do such stupid things? You're gonna wind up getting yourself killed one of these days, whether it be by a Zoldyck's hand or somebody else's."
"That's what makes life so exciting, Lu-chan. This world would be a pretty boring place if we all lived forever." Hisoka replied, studying his dangerously sharp fingernails with fake modesty. "You may not understand the appeal, but that's because you haven't really had a chance to experience life for yourself."
Illumi decided it would be best to remain silent after that, allowing the conversation to die out on its own. He was surprised to find that he almost missed the unfamiliar warmth of Hisoka's hands over his. It was confusing, and he didn't know what to make of it. That, and he'd allowed this magician who shouldn't be anything more than a mutually beneficial business partner to get close enough to touch him like that. Illumi decided that he had to be the most defective Zoldyck in history. He really wasn't allowed to be doing any of these things, and... if his parents found out, there would be hell to pay.
The young assassin couldn't help but grimace at the thought. The last thing he wanted was to leave Heaven's Arena. There was so much he had seen and learned that he was convinced the Zoldycks' method of bringing up their children in such an isolated environment was actually counterproductive. He had learned more from spending three weeks with Hisoka than he would if he spent six months allowing his family to educate him and build up his immunity to various tortures.
Maybe I shouldn't go back to them. Maybe I should just stay here.
Illumi realized that Hisoka was still looking at him, and softly asked, "What is it? Is something wrong?"
"No. I just like looking at you. You're pretty." was Hisoka's even response.
Illumi's heart skipped a beat as he realized how little distance there was between him and the magician. When had Hisoka gotten so close?
Illumi blinked a couple times, trying to formulate a half-decent response. But he didn't know what to say. He was completely speechless. A couple seconds passed, and all he managed to get out was, "I... what?"
All of a sudden, Hisoka's sharp amber gaze snapped down to Illumi's lips. The assassin immediately stiffened. He hadn't ever been with anyone romantically before, nor had he even thought about it, but he still understood exactly why Hisoka was looking at him like that.
Oh.
"Illumi..." Hisoka suddenly leaned forward, closing the gap between them and moving to cup Illumi's face between both hands.
Illumi completely froze up and time seemed to stop. For a moment, just a moment, he didn't want to pull away. He could feel Hisoka's warm breath on his cheek. The magician hesitated for a second before pressing even closer, tilting his head to one side and closing his eyes. Their lips were dangerously close to touching when all of a sudden...
...Saki jumped up on the coffee table and attacked the unfinished card pyramid the two on the couch had been working on. She let out a high-pitched, triumphant bark as the cards came tumbling down around her, biting one out of the air and shaking it back and forth with an almost adorable ferocity. Seizing the opportunity, Illumi swatted Hisoka's hands away and quickly scooted back, putting a safe amount of distance between them so he could get up.
"Saki!" he exclaimed, scoldingly. "What on earth are you doing?"
The little bundle of fur yapped at him as he scooped her up and took the card out of her mouth, placing it down on the coffee table with the others. Saki squirmed around impatiently in his arms, obviously wanting to be put down so she could play with the cards. He just shook his head and smoothed down the fluffy, chocolate-brown fur on the top of her head.
"I ought to put you in another room. An empty one so you can't destroy anything. Silly dog." Illumi declared, turning and walking away for the sake of finding a place to put Saki.
Hisoka sighed, feeling slightly disappointed with the sudden turn of events. "I almost had it that time. Damn you, dog." he muttered, entirely to himself.
In the next room over, Illumi was sitting on the floor, watching Saki's feeble attempts to try and wrestle with him like puppies tend to do at that age. Each time she would charge at him, he'd just lightly bat her aside with one hand. Eventually, she got impatient and sprung into his lap, nipping at his fingers, trying to bait him into playing with her.
He absentmindedly stroked her soft fur, ignoring her playful biting. He was kind of in shock, he didn't know what to make of what had almost happened a few moments ago. He kept replaying the scene over and over in his mind, trying to determine where he had gone wrong. When Hisoka got close to him, Illumi had just completely frozen up, his mind going blank. He had an opportunity to push the other male away, but... he didn't take it and he wasn't sure why. If Saki hadn't decided to assault what used to be a card pyramid on top of the coffee table, something would've happened between Hisoka and Illumi. Something that would completely change what used to be the harmless business relationship they had.
If what Hisoka intended to do had come to pass, Illumi wasn't all that certain either one of them would regret it. And that bothered him. He wanted to push Hisoka away, wanted to completely reject it all, wanted to find a reason to hate everything that had almost happened mere moments ago. But instead, he was upset because he couldn't find it within him to feel any of those things.
Hisoka was going to kiss me, and I... I wasn't going to stop him.
A/N: Another interesting chapter there and gone. Saki's out here ruining things for Hisoka, I almost feel bad for the poor chap. He just wanted a kiss, really. Y'all take care of yourselves and have a good day! And to V, who I know is reading this, thank you for being the amazing, wonderful person that you are.
-UltimatexAdmin