The day before the midterm exams start, while everyone else was freaking out, I took the logical route that could save my life.

I was going to bribe my teachers! Now if it had only fucking worked! And you want to know why?

Aizawa somehow knew that I was going to do this and told all the teachers that I had to take their exam. I could not escape it.

THANKS, MAN!

So learning the ENTIRE Hamilton musical, which I consider one of the hardest due to all the raps. That was an absolute waste of my time! I still have to take the English test.

I had collected all the tea on the hero students and willingly donated it to Midnight only to learn that I just went overboard with my job!

Well, that needed to be done anyway due to our previous deal. I just overboard in hopes for extra credit.

By the time I got to Cementoss with blackmail, I decided to give up on my hopes and dreams. I'm not that much of an asshole.

I was going to skip Aizawa's detention to go to a job interview for Walmart, but before I could walk out, the man snatches me up in his stupid scarf and drags me to the gym.

"Sir, can you please let me go? I have a job interview at Walmart in a half hour," I requested.

The man looked at me like I have lost it, "You should be studying for your exams. Not getting a job, problem child."

"I already know I am going to fail, so I'm making my safety net now before my standards drop further."

"You're being illogical. The time you could have used for studying you used to attempt to bribe the teachers."

"And it could have worked if you did not interfere."

"It was against code."

"It's not against code if you don't get caught."

"But you did."

"Wait, so if you didn't know, I could have done it?"

"If the solution was there, yes."

"What the flip does that mean?"

"It was never there in the first place. I would have checked anyway to make sure you were not doing anything."

"...so mean!"

"Stop wasting time. You're lucky I'm not making you work out today. You're studying."

"What about my job interview?"

"You are not going. If you get expelled over this, I have enough evidence to arrest you."

"WHAT EVIDENCE?!"

"If you say you're going to be a vigilante if you get out, that's plenty, kid."

"...You just want me to die, don't you?"

"I want you to shut up and start studying."

"K."

Since I didn't want to go to jail, I studied every breathing moment. Sleep is irrelevant anyway.

I was determined to not go to jail. And you know what? When I took those damn exams, I'm confident that I didn't fail any of them!

Honestly, the information wasn't that bad. I just had to get my life in order.

At this point, I have taken most of my exams. I have one more, which is the practical exam.

I am just glad I don't have to write anymore.

From what my classmates and I have learned, the practical exam involves destroying robots. That's it.

I happen to like destroying many things, so this works out great. I have enough confidence to not break down in tears like I have done all week! I get on the bus and sit with Uraraka and Iida since I haven't hanged out with the OG squad in a while.

However, when we arrive at the testing location, the vibes are off because all the prohero teachers are there. They shouldn't be here.

Aizawa stands in the middle, "I expect that many of you have gathered information and believe that you have some idea of what you will be faced with."

Of course, my OP squad doesn't seem to realize the situation as Kaminari announces, "We're fighting those big old metal robots!"

"Fireworks! Smores! Here we come!" Ashido joins.

Shit, I forgot to mention that if you pass the exams, you get to go on camp.

Look, I've been traumatized for the last week, alright? I'm more focused on the punishment of jail than the award of camp. Besides, Aizawa announced it. It's probably secretly a torture chamber.

Suddenly, there's a shuffling in Aizawa's scarf and a fucking rat pops out of it and talks, "Actually, this year's test will be completely different for various reasons."

"Principal Nezu?! You're changing things!" My fellow classmates scream. Somehow, I should have known it was him, but I didn't. I even knew of his existence! My brain just wiped it out for some reason.

I watch this rat slide down from Aizawa's shoulder using his fricking scarf, and I can't help but be amused by that."

"The test now have a new focus. There will be hero work, of course. However, instead of robots, you will be fighting actual heroes!"

I want to die!

We're not fighting robots! We're fighting proheroes in pairs based on our fucking weaknesses!

I'm going to die!

After the stupid explanation, Aizawa tells everyone their pairing and who they will be fighting. I'm not going to be announcing, but I will tell you that the guarantee group that is going to lose is Kaminari and Ashido because they are facing a really smart rat. It's not that I want them to fail. I just don't want to be unrealistic.

If it makes everyone feel any better, I walked over to them and said, "May God bless yo dumbasses."

They appreciated it because they were going into a war and coming out barely surviving.

At this point, everyone has been called out except me and-

Hell naw. I ain't working with Kacchan. Aizawa announces our pairing and he gets ready to call out our killer when-

"I AM HERE!"

.

.

.

Nuh-uh.

Aizawa paired me with my enemy Kacchan and decided that we should face All Might.

I can deal with a lot of bullshit. I deal with Aizawa's constantly after this. THIS IS CROSSING THE FUCKING LINE! I HAVE SELF-PRESERVATION!

Actually, that's a lie.

I DON'T HAVE SELF-PRESERVATION! I JUST DON'T WANT TO DIE A PAINFUL WAY!

I make the smart decision to turn around, put my hands behind my back, and get on my knees.

"Uh, Midoriya, what are you doing?" Iida asks.

"I'm request Aizawa to arrest me because I don't feel like dying today."

I can practically hear Aizawa's tone of doneness, "You are not going to die, Midoriya."

"No fucking offense, but I am making a logical decision here by withdrawing now!"

Kacchan does not help one bit, "I don't need Deku's help! I can beat All Might by myself!"

Aizawa sighs out loud, "Bakugo, the point is for you to learn teamwork. Midoriya dropping out is out of the question."

"That's fucking dumb!"

I join Kacchan on this one, "Yeah, that's fucking dumb!"

"Stop copying me, nerd!"

"NEVER!"

Yeah, this is going nowhere.

However, then, I see the rat standing in front of me, "Midoriya-kun, correct? I have heard much about you. You are certainly a fascinating specimen."

I should respect him because he is the principal, but I don't, "Just get to the point."

I see a gleam in his eyes as he smiles, "I will offer you a therapy session with Hound Dog if you commit to this. Of course, if Hound Dog believes that you need more, we will kindly provide those for you as well."

.

.

.

IT TOOK THIS MUCH TO FUCKING RECEIVE A THERAPY SESSIONS?! THAT'S BULLSHIT! That doesn't mean I'm going to ignore it, though.

I probably look insane right now, "Okay...but why are you offering it in the first place?"

"I believe that you will become a hero that our generation needs."

"A psychopath?"

"Not every hero has the same moral compass. They just believe that. You can change that belief base on your actions."

"...damn, you really are insane, " I quickly hop up, "I'll take it! Let's beat this hoe, Kacchan!"

Bakugo growls, "DEKU!"

Aizawa just sighs louder, questioning his life choices, "Can you two attempt to use appropriate language?"

"Nope!"

"Do you want to start the detentions for next year?"

"No...fine..."

"Thank you. Everyone should know their order and testing ground. You can discuss with your teammate of strategies or watch others take their exam with Recovery Girl, who will be judging."

Well, I don't think Kacchan is willing to work with me, and I happen to like Recovery Girl so hanging out with Recovery Girl it is!

"Recovery Girl, I am going to die. Will you come to my funeral?" Yeah, I started this conversation in an interesting way!

"You're not going to die, dear. As long as you don't do something stupid."

"Ma'am, I want you to look at me and tell me that I won't do something stupid."

"I have faith in you, sonny."

"You know what? I'll take that confidence. So just in case I do die, will you come to my funeral?"

"I would come anyway." Ignore me tearing up, please.

"Thank you! Love you!"

She pats my shoulder an gives me a smile, "Love you too, dear."

Now I am crying. She offers me a handkerchief. I can die in peace now.

I was right about Kaminari and Ashido failing. They put two idiots against a genius. I don't know what they expected.

Rock Boy and Sugar Buzz also failed. I don't know why they thought that going head-on against a teacher who has no limitations is a good idea, but they did.

Tape Boy also failed because he passed out from Midnight's perfume, but the fucking pervert passed.

Alright then.

Everyone else passed, though!

Well, except Kacchan and I. We haven't taken ours yet, but we are about to take it now!

And die!

Okay, I know that I have been told multiple times by multiple different people that I am not going to die from this, but you put me with a dude with anger issues and a teacher who sucks at being a teacher. This is literally asking for death. You can't change my mind on this. I don't even care that All Might has fucking weights on because we all know that's not going to stop him. He will break me somehow.

And if he doesn't, Kacchan will.

Our battleground is in the city, which would make sense seeing as that's where All Might mostly fights. I deny he knows this place perfectly so that's something I could work with if it wasn't for the fact that Kacchan won't listen to me.

Kacchan and I are very different. One runs on emotions while the other runs on the 'not wanting to die this way' energy. You should know who is who by this point. Kacchan wants to beat the shit out of All Might while I logically want to sneaky sneaky to the exit. If All Might is smart, he knows that Kacchan is going to fight him head-on. However, he has no idea what the fuck I plan on doing.

Kacchan and I are dropped off in a random part.

"Practical Exam 10 can now commence!"

The announcement echoes across the city, and Kacchan is already stomping away.

I quickly run after, "Yo, I know you have a plan. Tell me, bitch."

"I'm going to beat All Might up, and you're going to run!" Kacchan growls as he continues searching for the man.

"For real?"

"YES, FOR REAL! ARE YOU GOING DEAF TOO, YOU STUPID DEKU?!"

"No. I just wanted confirmation! I'll let you do that! See ya!"

I have no idea how this thing is actually judged, but I personally believe that separating is good in this case. I can just tell the teachers that I followed Kacchan's instructions. That should definitely get some points.

I activate the quirk (full cowl) to go through the alleyways and start swerving through them to stay out of the way. If Kacchan wants to be a lovely meat shield, I'm not going to stop him from achieving his dreams.

In the distance, I can already hear the place being destroyed with explosions and pure strength. As long as I stick to the alleyways, All Might should have some difficulty finding me at least-

"WHERE ARE YOU, DEKU?!" All Might suddenly shouts, and that sounds WAY too close for comfort. Fuck. I get that this is expected, but I also expected Kacchan to survive a minute longer maybe.

I will worry about that issue later. Right now, I need to have a plan. I decide to deactivate the quirk as that bitch is loud, and run by foot through them. It does not take me long until I find a viable weapon.

Garbage bags! Full garbage bags! Hello darkness, my old friend! I'm not going to ask why they are there, but I shall take them with me!

I snatch a couple of those bitches up and keep running.

"THERE YOU ARE, DEKU! I AM HERE TO GIVE YOU A PIECE OF YOUR- SHIT!" While All Might took way to long at monologuing (a way too common of a problem), I threw a garbage bag at his face! I forgot All Might cursed in English, though, so that's entertaining.

I activate the quirk and hop up to the roofs to find Kacchan because no matter how much I hate him, I need him to even have a chance of beating All Might's ass. It does not take long to find him as there is a huge ass crater. His dumbass just happens to be pinned under a goddamn fence, which he is trying to explode himself out of.

Typical, Kacchan.

Before I get a chance to actually go grab him, All Might instantly snatches me up, "YOU THINK YOU WILL TAKE ME DOWN THAT EASILY, YOU LITTLE HERO?! WILL THINK AGAIN!"

THEN PROCEEDS TO FUCKING YEET ME BACK TO KACCHAN! LIKE, A HARD YEET! I COULDN'T SAVE MYSELF BECAUSE I CREATED A HUGEASS CRATER! ALL MIGHT IS SUPPOSED TO HAVE WEIGHTS ON, BUT HE IS STILL OP!

Damn, the pain ain't pretty. I am even more sad that I lost my other trashbags.

I quickly get myself out, zoom over, and kick the fence away from Kacchan before All Might can stop me, "New plan because your plan A through triple Z failed!"

"YOU SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN OUT BY NOW, YOU STUPID NERD!" Kacchan yells as he tries to attack me, but I hop back.

"Uh, you should have fought harder, but not the point-"

All Might lands directly across from us, "Arguing is not going to help you measly heroes!"

I am desperate for what I am about to pull out of my ass, "Nope! However, blackmail will!"

All Might is about to attack us, but he suddenly stops, "Blackmail? WHAT KIND OF BLACKMAIL COULD YOU HAVE ON A VILLAIN LIKE ME?!"

I have no idea if this is legal, but I'm rolling with it as I grin sadistically at the man, "I know all about your quirk, remember? Hero, villain, or vigilante, your quirk never changes. I can easily spread that information to the other heroes. How would you think they feel? They would obviously go after your ass."

Kacchan shouts, "WHAT ARE YOU GOING ON ABOUT, DEKU?! I DENY YOU HAVE BLACKMAIL ON ALL MIGHT OF ALL PEOPLE!" I have more blackmail then I should have.

All Might falters, "You know you wouldn't do that because it would risk your safety too! Now perish-!" Glad that meme is coming to use now of all times. Against me.

"I can start this off by telling Kacchan! Hey, Kacchan, All Might's quirk isn't-!" I start trying to tell my ex-bestfriend, which is a horrible idea in all ways because when I start to, All Might punches me in the chest and sends me flying into another building. RIP my ribs. However, I proceed with screaming, "ALL MIGHT'S QUIRK ISN'T WHAT YOU THINK IT IS-"

Suddenly, All Might is right in front of me as he picks me up by the arm like a ragdoll, "You should know better than to spread that news." OH FUCK, THAT HURTS! I am coughing because my lungs are going to DIE.

"Bold of you to assume I care WHEN YOU ARE BEATING THE SHIT OUT OF ME! I will tell Kacchan unless you back down now! We both know I don't lie, All Might!"

All Might starts to break character, which makes some sense giving what I am saying, "Young Midoriya, that's taking things too far."

"Sir, you have broken multiples of my ribs. Tell me what is too far again and I will throw hands."

All Might's voice goes stern, something he has never used on me despite the shit I pull, "Midoriya-"

Kacchan suddenly interrupts, "DIE!" An aggressive BOOM rings in my ears and most likely All Might's too as Kacchan aimed a explosion right at the man's head. All Might drops me, and I stumble back to realize I how physically broken I am!

I need to end this now. All Might yeets Kacchan away, and he looks ready to throw hands as he watches me carefully like I am the villain here. However, I can see that he is still somewhat disorientated.

I'm not willing to deal with it.

Despite having broken ribs, a broken heart, a broken mind, and so many other things broken, I activate the quirk and start bouncing all around him. During this time, I pull out the handcuffs. I can either handcuff him or run. I rather handcuff him, but as I am watching him, he is too aware for me to pull it off. I have to run, grab Kacchan for emergency, and get out.

So, I do the logical thing and smash through a wall. More specifically, a support wall that causes the building above All Might to collapse on him. He doesn't have a chance to move before it topples like a tower of Jenga.

At this hope, I just hope All Might and I are on talking terms by the end of this. I know this isn't going to stop him, but it is going to slow him down.

It doesn't take long for me to find Kacchan, grab his leg, and start zooming to the exit. Kacchan does not stand this because he immediately pushes off me and blasts next to me.

"WHAT THE HELL, DEKU?!" Kacchan yells.

"I always wanted to go there."

"THAT'S NOT THE POINT! DO I EVEN WANT TO KNOW HOW YOU HAVE SHIT ON ALL MIGHT OF ALL PEOPLE?!"

"I'm just fucking amazing, ain't I?"

"NO, YOU AREN'T! YOU'RE JUST A FUCKING CREEP AT THIS POINT!"

"Look, I would love to attempt to chat with you. However, that building is not going to keep him down for long. When he attacks us, he's going to try and push us back. We need to trick All Might into flying us through that gate. We might have to hug and shit, but we're going to be bros so that we can pass this and not look like shit. Also, I don't have to go to jail!"

Kacchan grunts, so I have no idea what that means.

All Might suddenly appears in front of us, "BRILLIANT IDEA, BUT IT WON'T KEEP BE DOWN FOR LONG!"

At this point, even for how worn our friendship is, Kacchan and I manage to share a braincell by looking at each other. I offer my hand, and even if he looks like he's going to die, he takes it anyway.

"TEXAS SMASH!" All Might screams as he punches the air, pushing us back. Kacchan and I fly together, but we keep a grip together. With our free arms, I bring the quirk to it and push the opposite direction and Kacchan causes a huge explosion.

This reverses our flight. We fly over All Might's head through the gate.

"You have officially passed the practically exam!"

The announcement notifies us.

Kacchan and I crash hard into the ground, and we immediately let go of each other.

Before I can get a word in, Kacchan screams at the top of his lungs, "DON'T YOU DARE FUCKING ASSUME THAT JUST BECAUSE I WORKED WITH YOU ONE TIME MEANS I WILL WORK WITH YOU AGAIN, YOU STUPID NERD! I ONLY DID IT SO I CAN BEAT YOUR ASS AFTER THIS! I CAN'T DO THAT IF YOU'RE IN FUCKING JAIL, YOU DUMBASS!"

I mean, I wasn't planning on working with you anyway, bitchass. Of course, I can't say this out loud because I feel like I am dying, but it's the thought that counts.

Kacchan manages to get up, but I decide to sleeping is way more valuable.

The last thing I see is All Might approaching me quickly.