TRIGGER WARNING for internal panic attack, highly suggestive threats, graphic description of severe injuries, blood.
As of late, Illumi had felt confident enough to go out in the city on his own. He'd been studying the complex layout from the roof of Heaven's Arena, memorizing all the weird intersections, twists and turns that made up the city streets. Now, he felt as though he could navigate it semi-decently, and thanks to his needle perched on the coffee table on Hisoka's floor, he knew without a doubt he'd at least be able to find his way back without any trouble.
The first time Illumi attempted walking around the shoddy, run-down city by himself, he was surprised to find it was a lot more difficult than it looked. Because the buildings were built so close together and the cobblestone streets were alarmingly narrow, he had a difficult time pinpointing exactly where he was. It was a little unsettling, and he worried about getting himself lost, but he eventually reasoned that this would be a good sort of training exercise to challenge his sense of direction and his ability to pick apart the patterns that made up structures and cities for the sake of understanding how to navigate them.
At first glance, the city appeared to be designed completely at random, as if the people who had built it had absolutely no plan whatsoever and were allowed to do whatever they wanted. But Illumi knew better than that. There had to be some sort of pattern to the unpredictable bends and intersections in the streets. After roaming around near Heaven's Arena for several minutes, avoiding contact with as many people as possible, he figured it out.
The streets themselves had obviously been designed specifically to frustrate people and get them so lost they'd never find their destination... or their way out of the city. As such, Illumi noticed that every intersection led off to no more than three streets at a time. One of those streets would always loop around, leading whoever took it in a big circle, only to deposit them right back where they started. And another of those streets would be composed entirely of sharp twists and turns. The third would usually always be almost perfectly straight and lead to more intersections.
Using this information, Illumi found it a lot easier to avoid walking in circles or getting completely lost. He spent most of the morning just roaming around, taking note of everyone he saw just in case he needed to disguise himself as a citizen of this town.
They were all shoddily dressed and unkempt, garbed in nothing but patchy, well-worn rags. They all looked to be in extremely bad shape, with grungy hair and eyes glazed over. They kept eyeing Illumi warily as he passed, as if he were some kind of anomaly.
Maybe it was the expensive metal his needles were made of protruding from various locations on his black vest. Maybe it was the silk, long-sleeved lavender top he was clad in beneath the vest. He was definitely dressed way better than everyone around him, so naturally, he stood out. That, and everyone around him had either tan or dark skin tones. He was about as pale as an unused sheet of paper.
He didn't like that so many people were paying attention to him, but he certainly wasn't about to try and make himself blend in. He wasn't interested in trying to make himself look as utterly unappealing as possible just for the sake of keeping people from noticing him.
Illumi was considering heading back to Heaven's Arena when his phone – which was tucked away in the front pocket of his pants – began to vibrate. He grimaced. Who on earth could be calling him at this time? He didn't have any clients at the moment, and his father had never called him multiple times in the span of a few days before. Silva wasn't the type of parent to constantly nag his children, even when he was angry with them.
Illumi pulled his phone from his pocket and did a double-take when he recognized the caller ID. He accepted the call and put his phone to his ear.
"Kalluto? My goodness, it's been an awful long time since you've last called."
"Sorry, Aniki, I've just been busy with my training lately. Mother never leaves me alone nowadays; I never have any time to myself." Kalluto's small, high-pitched voice was so painfully familiar that Illumi found himself missing his little siblings. "I would've called sooner, or at least tried to talk to you last time you were home, but... like I said, Mother just doesn't let me be."
"That sounds like her. When I come home, I'll see if I can convince her to let me take you out and teach you archery. I know you've mentioned that's something you're interested in." Illumi offered, keeping his eyes riveted on the crooked street in front of him, sidestepping around a couple young men that came staggering out of a nearby bar.
"That's, um... that's actually kind of what I wanted to talk with you about. You can't come home yet. Or any time soon, for that matter." Kalluto said, voice adopting a slightly anxious tone. He was still extremely young, so he hadn't been broken down to the point he had absolutely no emotion left within him. It'd be a few years before he reached that point.
"Why's that?" Illumi asked. "Has Father changed his mind about whether or not I should've come back a couple weeks ago?"
"I wish that were the case, but no. I've never seen him quite so angry before, not since Killua ran away." Kalluto replied. There came the soft sounds of rustling on the other end; probably caused by the young boy shifting around and making himself more comfortable. "I overheard him talking with Grandfather this morning, and... well... you absolutely cannot come home yet. I don't think they'll ever let you out again, because now Father thinks you're completely defective, or something like that."
Illumi couldn't help but wince. Not only was he absolutely terrified of what might happen if he were found and brought back to the Zoldyck mansion, but it honestly hurt him knowing that his father, the one he strived to make proud, had such a low opinion of him now.
"Oh. That's... That's certainly interesting." Illumi stated, after a long pause. He didn't like the way his usually monotonous voice wavered ever so slightly as he spoke, betraying his fear.
"Good grief, don't do that. This is serious, Aniki. You've gotta be at least a little bit concerned about your own wellbeing, right?" a hint of irritation crept into Kalluto's voice.
Although he didn't despise his oldest brother like the other Zoldyck children did, Kalluto did get annoyed by Illumi's ever-present impassiveness and inability to express anything other than cold indifference. It was something that bothered everyone except Silva and Kikyo themselves, since that's how they wanted Illumi to be. If he was cold and socially inept, he had a very minimal chance of actually forming positive bonds with other human beings because nobody really liked how blunt and emotionless he was.
"I am, but I don't think it's possible to avoid returning home, especially not if Father's gonna come looking for me. How did he figure out my location?" Illumi asked, deciding to change the subject and shift Kalluto's attention off of him.
"He had Milluki trace the call he gave you the other day." was Kalluto's terse response. Illumi could tell that his little brother was rolling his eyes.
"Milluki's troublesome and selfish. I must say I'm not really surprised."
"Nothing ever surprises you, Aniki."
"Fair enough."
"But I was being serious when I said you can't come home. You need to do any and everything in your power to stay away, even if it means running and hiding. Father's really angry, and we both know that he isn't very forgiving at all." Kalluto said, after a short moment of silence passed.
"Alright. I'll do my best. If possible, give Milluki a stern talking-to in my stead." Illumi replied, briefly stopping and stepping aside so an elderly woman hobbling down the street on a wooden cane could get past him. "As for Father, when is he gonna come for me?"
"He left two or three hours ago." was Kalluto's terse response.
Illumi's heart dropped into his stomach and he almost dropped his phone. "Oh."
"Yeah. It's bad. Find a place to hide and wait things out. I'll do my best to convince Father not to completely lock you up for good." Kalluto hung up before Illumi could say anything else.
Illumi stood there for a moment, bang splat in the middle of the street, trying to process everything he'd just heard. He now understood what his assassination targets felt when they knew they were being hunted and there was nothing they could do except prolong the inevitable by running as far and as fast as they possibly could.
He felt a chill slither down his spine like a serpent made entirely of ice. It caused his entire body to tremble ever so slightly, completely imperceptible to the people around him. All of a sudden, that same dreadful feeling of absolute terror exploded in his chest, gripping his heart with unforgiving icy talons and causing his stomach to tie itself into anxious knots. Illumi was scared. Absolutely scared out of his mind. He realized that Kalluto's suggestion of hiding himself wasn't a bad idea at all.
Pivoting sharply on the ball of his right foot, Illumi spun around and started making his way back toward Heaven's Arena, which appeared as a tall, silvery-white building whose top vanished into the gloomy, dark clouds hanging over the entire city. Although he usually moved in a fluid, elegant manner like running water or dancing flames, his movements now were frantic and jerky, like that of a small bird's. He just wanted to get out of the open. No, he felt like he needed to get out of the open right now or else he'd be chained up, gagged and caged like an animal.
For a brief moment, as he pushed his way past several confused and obviously frightened onlookers, he suffered the delusion that he was being followed. He could feel eyes that weren't actually there burning into him, through him, anticipating his every move with the intent of hunting him down and making him pay for what he'd done. He knew it was too late, far too late to turn around and repent. He had no choice but to hide.
I wish I had just been a good son and gone home while I still had the chance.
Father hates me.
I'll never be welcome there again.
What will happen to Kalluto while I'm away? Who's going to train him and ensure he rises to meet Father's expectations?
They're going to replace me.
What made me think I was safe with Hisoka? He probably just wants to see me suffer.
He doesn't give a shit about me.
I never should've let my guard down.
What was I thinking?
What's wrong with me?
Illumi's thoughts had begun playing in a seemingly endless downward spiral, succeeding in dragging him further into the depths of fear that had completely encompassed his entire being. He was aware that he was still shaking, but he didn't care enough to try and stop it.
Even though his thoughts were telling him that he shouldn't trust Hisoka, Illumi wanted nothing more than to be near Hisoka in that moment, and the feeling was suffocating him. He just wanted to feel safe, and safe meant he was near someone he... trusted.
Oh my god, I'm a disgrace. I should not trust Hisoka.
Why do I keep feeling these things even though I don't want to? Why does my mind keep making these decisions for me? What happened to all the control I once possessed over these things?
Stop thinking. Stop feeling. Just stop.
Trying his absolute best to block out his mind's attempts to continue screwing with him, he looked up and found himself standing at the entrance to Heaven's Arena. Despite the whole chaotic mess he'd been going through, battling endlessly with his own mind, he had somehow managed to find his way back to the skyscraper without getting lost in the winding, twisting streets of the nameless city. It seemed his uncanny sense of direction was still intact, regardless of the terror running rampant in his body, sending tremors through his limbs and making him feel alarmingly dizzy, as if the world were spinning around him faster than he could follow.
He realized his heart was racing as if it were trying to leap out of his chest. He must've run the entire way back, which explained how he got there so fast in such a frantic state.
Trying to regulate his uneven, shaky breathing, Illumi made his way upstairs to Hisoka's floor. He was completely unable of moving slowly at this point. He was so very afraid of eventually being found that he just wanted to run until he found someplace safe to hide.
Once he located the right door several flights of stairs later, he burst in without a second thought. Hisoka had left it unlocked for him, because originally the magician had thought Illumi was just going for a short walk. A short walk had turned into a lengthy march around the city, but Hisoka decided he didn't want to lock his friend out. Illumi didn't have a spare key on him or anything like that, and Hisoka knew the young assassin wasn't above scaling the impossibly tall skyscraper and climbing through an open window in the odd event that he had been locked out.
Hisoka heard the door fly open so hard and fast that it swung back on its hinges and slammed into the wall. He'd been in the middle of trying to stack cards on top of Saki's soft, fluffy head because he was bored and had nothing better to do with his life, but now, he craned his neck to see what all the commotion was about.
He was surprised to see a certain raven-haired Zoldyck standing in the doorway, eyes blown wide with a sort of frenzied panic, knees shaking almost violently as if they were about to give out at any second.
"Illu-chan? What's wrong? You left seeming perfectly content this morning, but now you look like you just saw a dead man rise out of the ground and attack someone." Hisoka tilted his head to one side, hooking one arm around Saki's tiny form to keep her from moving. She yapped at him as if in agreement, twisting to look at Illumi with curious blue eyes.
"Kalluto just called me while I was out, and..." Illumi paused for a second, noticing the cards stacked on Saki's head for the first time. "...what on earth are you doing to my dog?"
"Just goofing around with her because I'm bored. She kept trying to eat my cards earlier, so I figured I'd teach her a bit of a lesson about sitting still and not touching things that don't belong to her." Hisoka replied, grinning from ear to ear and patting the tiny dog's back affectionately.
"She's not your personal table. Please find a better place to stack your cards."
"Why don't you come all the way inside, darling? We don't bite. Actually, on second thought, Saki does, but she has tiny baby teeth so she's not something to worry about."
Illumi grimaced and slowly but surely crept into the room, closing and locking the door behind him without even glancing over his shoulder. His abysmal black eyes scanned over everything before him warily. It wasn't like all the other times he'd been observant and on guard. He seemed apprehensive, as if he were expecting something terrible to happen. And he still wouldn't take a single step further into the room.
"As I was trying to say a moment ago, Kalluto called me while I was walking around. He said that... well... my Father's after me. He's looking for me as we speak, and I know he's going to find me. There's no hiding from him." Illumi said, staying right where he was and wringing his hands anxiously. "So, I ran all the way back here. I don't think I should go outside alone anymore."
Hisoka took note of the strange way the assassin was behaving. It was concerning, to say the least. Hisoka had never seen Illumi so distressed before. "You ran all the way here? And up all those stairs? Oh, goodness, lllu-chan, you must be tired. Come over here and sit down." the redheaded magician loosely gestured to the white couch against the far wall, removing his cards from Saki's head. She tried to nip at each card as it passed close to her muzzle, but he was careful in keeping them just out of her reach.
Illumi stood there for a moment before shaking his head slightly. "I'm fine, thank you. I think I'm just gonna go take a nap or something."
Naturally, that was a lie. He just wanted an excuse to go hide in the towel closet. He was pretty sure he'd feel a lot safer in an enclosed, dark space rather than in the middle of a large room. Even though Hisoka's presence was comforting in a way the young assassin couldn't even begin to describe, he didn't want to admit to that so he decided hiding himself was the easiest solution to the problem.
Hisoka saw right through it. Illumi was a creature of habit, performing certain tasks every single day with mechanical, repetitive precision. Going to sleep in the middle of the day was simply not one of those tasks because it wasn't exactly efficient.
"Don't be silly. I know you don't take naps." Hisoka said, his voice adopting a slightly concerned tone as he watched Illumi slowly inch his way toward the dimly lit hallway leading out to the other rooms and the towel closet. "What's going on? Are you okay?"
"Hmm? Oh, yeah, I'm fine. What makes you think otherwise?" Illumi asked, feigning innocence and clasping his hands behind his back to hide his anxious fidgeting.
"You're acting... strange. And that's saying something, because you're a strange creature by definition." Hisoka pressed his palms flat against the floor so he could push himself into a standing position, moving slowly as if he were afraid a sudden movement would frighten Illumi.
"I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about. I'll be going now." the assassin declared, turning up his chin slightly and making his way toward the hallway as quickly as possible.
Naturally, Illumi could move so quickly and gracefully that the naked eye had a difficult time following him. He almost seemed to be flickering in and out of existence, as if he were teleporting in short, sharp bursts rather than running. Unfortunately for him, Hisoka was capable of anticipating this sporadic movement.
Next thing Illumi knew, Hisoka had him by the arm with such a grip as strong as an iron vice, preventing him from getting any further away. The magician spun him around none too gently before he could even think about struggling.
"You must think I'm stupid, darling. I've known you long enough to tell when something's wrong." Hisoka stated, sliding his free hand under Illumi's chin and gently tilting upward, forcing him to look him in the eyes. "The fact you're so eager to run away just proves my point. What's going on?"
"Let go of me this instant." Illumi hissed, every muscle in his body tensing as if bracing for a fight.
"Not until you tell me what's going on with you. I know that, the moment I release your arm, you're gonna run away again. I may not be able to catch you a second time." Hisoka reasoned, tilting his head to one side and studying the assassin's face closely. "My goodness, you are beautiful."
"And you're extremely bad at focusing on the task at hand." Illumi shot back, making an honest attempt to yank his arm out of Hisoka's grasp. Though he was strong enough to tear the magician's shoulder from his socket in one smooth, clean motion, Illumi was also smart enough to know that Hisoka had most likely already attached a string of Bungee Gum to his arm, keeping them connected. "What if I told you I don't really feel up to discussing things right now, hmm? Would you respect that?"
Hisoka pretended to think about it for a moment before grinning from ear to ear and shaking his head. "Nope. And you still owe me a kiss, by the way. That sneaky little dog of yours ruined things for us yesterday, otherwise this wouldn't be a problem."
Us? Illumi's heart leaped into his throat, nearly causing him to choke on it.
"W-Would you please just try and take things seriously for once in your life? I'm not in the mood for this kind of... foolishness."
"Did you just stutter, Illumi?" Hisoka asked back, completely ignoring everything the assassin had just said. "Well, that's a first. I don't think I've ever heard your voice falter like that before. Perhaps it's because I've made you flustered."
Illumi swallowed hard. He was suddenly extremely conscious of the lack of distance between him and the magician, but what bothered him was the fact he didn't mind it. He should push Hisoka away, but... he didn't want to. "I'm not flustered. Let me go right this instant. And for the record, I don't owe you anything." Illumi grabbed Hisoka's wrist with bruising force, trying to make it quite clear he wasn't above physically forcing the magician off him.
Hisoka's eyes narrowed slightly at the pain that flared up in his wrist. "Oh, so that's how it's gonna be, hmm? Well, my point still stands. I'm not letting go until I get an honest explanation out of you, and that's that. Yes, you do in fact owe me a kiss. You were oh, so close to letting me do that to you, and that's something you can't deny."
"I can. I don't want anything to do with you, especially not in that way." Illumi could feel that same strange emotion he'd felt a few weeks ago welling up in his chest again, but this time, he almost understood it. It was a strange sort of unfettered desire tugging at his heart, trying to push him toward what he wanted. But he didn't know what he wanted. "We are merely business partners, nothing more."
"I'm absolutely certain even you know that's not true. Maybe it was, but it isn't anymore."
Illumi's aura flared up ever so slightly out of annoyance. His fingernails elongated and sharpened into claws, digging into Hisoka's skin with enough force to be felt, but not enough to draw blood. "You can't read my mind. What right do you have to speak to me that way?"
The look on Hisoka's face clearly implied he was enjoying this despite the fact he was losing circulation in his left hand from the force of Illum's grip, and the assassin's claws were dangerously close to piercing the magician's skin. "Something's definitely bothering you, darling. There have been several points in time during this discussion in which I could've caught you off guard and killed you."
"I'm not above severing your hand from your arm if you don't let go of me right now." was Illumi's low response.
"Oh god, Illu, don't do that." Hisoka's eyes narrowed even further, amber orbs glittering with a dangerous, lustful light. His voice was little more than a growl at this point, and the slightest hint of bloodlust was beginning to seep out of his skin. "Don't threaten me. I promise it won't end well for you."
Illumi blinked a couple times, refusing to relinquish his grip on the magician's arm. It was obvious he was completely unfazed by the sudden turn of events. "I'll do as I please, thank you very much."
"Well, let's say you did cut my hand off with those pretty little claws of yours. I'd most likely lose all semblance of self-control I possess, pin you up against that wall right there, and have my way with you. Oh, and I'd probably kill you afterward. Something tells me you wouldn't like that very much, now, would you?"
Illumi's eyes widened ever so slightly as he realized what Hisoka was implying. Has he lost his mind? Is he bluffing? No, I think he meant every word of that. It would be wisest to stand down. There's bloodlust oozing out of him right now. I doubt I'd be able to fight him off while he's in one of his frenzied states.
Slowly but surely, Illumi released Hisoka's arm, dropping his hand to his side. "Fine. Will you let go of me now?"
Hisoka didn't respond right away. So, the two took to staring at each other, abysmal black eyes meeting vivid, lust-filled amber. The tension between them was so prominent it could be cut with a knife. It was almost as if they were testing each other, waiting ever so patiently to see who would back down first. Illumi was too stubborn to lose this, and Hisoka was trying to keep himself from doing all the horrible things he wanted to do to the assassin in that moment. He knew that, if he allowed himself to act on all his violent fantasies in that moment, Illumi would either wind up dead or, if he survived, he'd leave and never return. Hisoka was surprised to find he didn't want either of those things.
Please don't say anything stupid, Illu-chan. You're smart, you should be able to recognize a dangerous situation and take steps to avoid it. Please, please, please don't make me hurt you.
Finally, Illumi frowned and looked down at the floor, deciding that enough was enough. "I suppose I have no choice but to tell you what's going on, then." he said, with a resigned sigh.
"Yes, it would seem so." Hisoka agreed, his grip on the assassin's arm relaxing slightly.
"I'm just afraid that you'll do something stupid, like trying to fight my father or something akin to that. I don't really want that to happen, and I'm afraid my presence here puts you in danger." Illumi kept his gaze riveted on the floor, as if he were confessing a sin rather than admitting what he was feeling. "I shouldn't feel like this, but I do. And I'm not sure how to stop. There, now you know. Are you happy now?"
Hisoka blinked. He hadn't been expecting that. Illumi was more scared for Hisoka's safety than he was his own?
That's different. Perhaps he's a lot more human than I thought if he's still capable of growing attached to people. It's just me, but... that's more than enough to prove he's not a lost cause.
"Ah, I see. Thank you for telling me." Hisoka finally let go of Illumi's arm. "I'm gonna make dinner soon, what're you hungry for?"
Illumi wrung his hands nervously, still unable to pry his gaze from the floor. "I think I'm just gonna skip dinner tonight, if that's alright with you."
"Yeah, that's okay. It's not like I can force you to do anything you don't want to. Well, I'll make enough for you just in case you change your mind." Hisoka declared, turning around and making his way out of the hall and into the main room where the kitchen and the living room were.
Almost immediately, he heard the soft rustling sounds of Illumi climbing into the towel closet and folding himself in half so he could fit in his favorite shelf. Hisoka couldn't help feeling slightly concerned even now, just knowing that something was really bothering the assassin to the point where he felt the need to hide from it. Hisoka honestly wished there was something more he could do, but he had a feeling that approaching Illumi was a bad idea right now.
Something's definitely not right here, but there's nothing I can do. I have to just wait until he's ready to come out and talk again. Hisoka thought, even as he bustled around the kitchen, pulling things out of cabinets so he could make himself dinner.
Saki came trotting into the kitchen a few minutes later, sniffing the air curiously. She plopped herself down beside the island countertop separating the kitchen from the living room, watching the magician work with large, rounded blue eyes that seemed much too wise and experienced for a small puppy like her.
"What do you think we should do with him, Saki?" Hisoka wondered, lining up various containers of spices atop the counter. Naturally, he didn't get a response, but he could see out of his peripheral vision that Saki's floppy brown ears were perked up, listening to the sound of his voice attentively. "He's obviously not okay right now. Usually, he takes you with him when he goes in there. But it seems in his haste to get away from everything he completely forgot and left you with me." the magician mused, turning around and bending down to lightly pat Saki's head.
She whined and craned her neck so she could lick and nip at his hand frantically. He sighed and pulled his hand away, returning to the current task at hand. There was something comforting about Saki's presence, in all honesty. Just the knowledge she was there, watching everything taking place with doggish scrutiny almost as if she were trying to learn everything she saw, was enough to ensure Hisoka didn't feel lonely. Perhaps that was why Illumi seemed to like her so much?
That, among other things. Hisoka grinned. He'd definitely have to visit with Illumi later for the sake of returning Saki to him.
As it turned out, Hisoka didn't need the excuse to go and see what the raven-haired assassin was up to. The opportunity presented itself all on its own.
Hisoka had just finished eating dinner and was in the process of building yet another card pyramid with Saki sprawled in his lap when he heard the loud, high-pitched, unmistakable sound of glass shattering. It startled both him and the small creature in his lap. They both jumped a little and turned their attention to the dimly lit hallway.
Saki yapped and glanced back at Hisoka, obviously concerned about what had made that sound. Hisoka patted her head a couple times, trying to reassure her, before gently nudging her out of his lap and standing up.
"Illumi?" He called out, making his way toward the hallway cautiously. "Lu-chan, is everything okay?"
No response.
Feeling a spark of worry ignite in his chest, he made his way to the source of the sound: the guest bedroom. It was a simply decorated room, with two small windows along the wall directly across from the door, a double-bed with its headboard pressed against the wall to the left, and a dresser and a full-length mirror along the right wall. Or at least, there used to be a mirror.
There were silvery shards of extremely reflective glass scattered all over the floor, and the mirror was gone.
Illumi was standing in the middle of the mess, unmoving. His hands were clenched into fists, and there was an almost frightening amount of crimson staining his porcelain-pale skin, trickling down the sides of his hands and dripping off onto the floor. He didn't look shocked; he didn't look like he was in pain. He just looked confused.
"My goodness gracious, what happened here?" Hisoka wondered, creeping into the room with his eyes riveted on the floor so he didn't step on the broken glass by accident.
Illumi jumped a little, noticing the magician's presence for the first time. "Oh. I was just going around tidying things up because I was bored. I didn't expect there to be a mirror here." he stated, simply. His voice was so very monotonous it was almost irritating.
"Is there any particular reason why the mirror's broken now and your hands are bleeding?" Hisoka asked, pausing for a moment and putting his hands on his hips, regarding the assassin with a curious glimmer in his sharply slanted amber eyes.
"Yes. Like I said, I didn't expect for there to be a mirror here. I wound up looking at it without realizing what it was right away. Well, I didn't like what I saw in it, so I think I punched it." Illumi replied, unballing the fists his slender hands had become so he could examine the numerous deep cuts lining his fingers and knuckles. "Huh. Maybe I shouldn't have done that."
Hisoka wasn't sure why, but he felt a pang in his chest at those words. "Illumi... that's silly, why would you do something like that?"
"I dunno. It just sort of happened, I guess." Illumi shrugged, eyeing the magician closely out of the corner of his eye. He cringed visibly when Hisoka started moving closer again, carefully stepping around the dangerously sharp glass scattered across the floor. "I'll make sure to clean it up and all that, but I might want to bandage these cuts first so I don't lose too much blood."
Hisoka ignored him, focused on just getting closer for the time being.
Saki poked her head around the door, fluffy ears perked up attentively, obviously coming to check on the two humans and see what they were up to. Satisfied that nobody was doing anything that interested her, she turned and bounded down the hallway with her usual overabundance of energy, looking for something to play with.
Illumi was fully expecting to be hit once Hisoka reached him. That was usually what happened back when he was younger and prone to accidentally knocking things over. His parents would get so very angry with him over something that wasn't really that big of a deal. He couldn't even begin to imagine how they'd react if they found he'd broken something on purpose, like right now. So naturally, he expected some form of painful punishment. He reflexively took a step back when Hisoka neared, eyes trained on the magician with obvious apprehension.
"Hold on, Lu-chan, don't go anywhere just yet." Hisoka said, holding out one open hand like he would when dealing with a frightened animal. "It's dangerous to be moving around so much with this glass scattered all over the place."
Illumi grimaced, setting his jaw in a determined line. The sharp pain shooting up from the tips of his torn-up fingers to his wrists didn't bother him at all. He barely felt a thing. But he was extremely aware of the blood seeping from the fresh lacerations, pouring from the edges of sliced skin. He felt almost disgusting, knowing what a mess he was making even now.
When Hisoka made it within arm's reach of the assassin, he didn't immediately lash out and try to hurt Illumi like the ravenet honestly thought he would. Instead, Hisoka just cupped Illumi's face between both hands and leaned in close, tilting his head to one side and connecting their lips before the young Zoldyck could even think about pulling away.
Time seemed to slow down and everything around them seemed to fall away until they were the only things left in the world.
Illum's eyes went wide and his bloodied hands instinctively went to Hisoka's broad shoulders, torn between pushing him away or wrapping his arms around the magician's neck and pulling him closer. Every muscle in the assassin's lithe body was screaming, this is wrong, make it stop, but he was surprised to find he didn't want to listen. He found himself noticing for the first time how warm Hisoka was, how gentle his large, calloused hands were.
Meanwhile, Hisoka was on cloud nine. He had no idea Illumi's lips were so soft, so luscious. It only made him seem even more desirable. Hisoka was fully aware of the fact Illumi wasn't really reciprocating the kiss, but... he wasn't pulling away, either.
He's probably all frozen up. How cute. Hisoka hummed to himself, thumbs rubbing soft, slow circles into Illumi's temples, simply appreciating that smooth, unblemished porcelain skin.
"You really shouldn't have done that, Illu-chan. You know I can't help myself when I see blood." Hisoka murmured against the other's lips before pulling back slightly, bringing the moment they had just shared to an end. "Especially your blood. It contrasts so beautifully against your skin, like molten rubies against white silk..."
Illumi was still frozen in place, unable to process what was happening. He managed to get ahold of himself just enough to speak, and opened his mouth to ask the redhead why this was happening. But then Hisoka lightly grasped Illumi's left wrist, raising the assassin's hand to his lips. Illumi immediately froze again, eyes blown so wide they were dangerously close to popping out of his skull.
I shouldn't be letting this happen. This is wrong.
But... what if I don't want to stop it, either? What does that make me?
Whaddaya know, fellas, Hisoka finally got his kiss! And Illumi was alright with it! They're making progress, yeah? It's finals week, so I've been studying like crazy, but I managed to find time in between assignments and things to finish up this chapter. I'm just gonna warn y'all right now that the next chapter is gonna be a little bit steamy. No smut (yet) but it does get a little... err... sexually tense lol. (Don't worry, I will post an appropriate trigger warning when it comes time for something explicitly sexual, that way people who aren't really into smut can skip over it if they feel the need to. There is at least one chapter coming up in which that'll take place.)
Any comments/kudos would be very much appreciated! Thank you to Skye, Iris and Kiri for helping me finish up this chapter, the assistance meant a lot to me. Y'all take care of yourselves, have a lovely day! And to those of you who also have finals coming up, best of luck to ya! Study hard, I'm sure you'll be fine!
-UltimatexAdmin