Author's note: Happy valentine's eve! Have a some ANGSTTT! I'm a little bit sorry. Kind of? This honestly hurt to write and I'm really interested to see how people react to which side they are on...not that that's the point but, I'm intrigued.
Thank you to lavendertwilight89, horriblehowl and keichanz for being my betas!
Bleary-eyed and more sore than she'd been in years, Kagome began to return to the world of the wakeful; brows furrowed as something between a groan and a whine left her, moving her leg to find it stiff and achy. Drawing in a deep breath, she realized she was on her stomach, arms underneath the pillow she rested her head on. Blinking her eyes a few times, she pushed herself up onto her elbows before turning her head towards the opposite side of the bed, finding it empty.
Her hair fell over her shoulders in the same loose waves from the night before, though perhaps a little more tousled from sleep, her body completely nude beneath the covers. Taking one of her fists, she rubbed her eye before moving to climb off the bed, needing to take a few extra moments to ease her aching muscles. She could hear the faint sound of music, much heavier than she'd prefer this early in the morning, but she knew that meant she wasn't the only one awake.
Climbing to her feet, she scanned the floor, seeing Inuyasha's red button up shirt from the night before. Slowly, she bent over, grimacing in discomfort as she grabbed the shirt and straightened back to her full height. As she moved her shoulders to shrug the sleeves on, she realized that her legs weren't the only thing that was sore.
"I'm questioning if last night was worth it," she pondered to herself, maneuvering the buttons to close up the shirt until the third from the top. She practically swam in it, her boyfriend's build almost twice the size of hers, making it easy to be fully covered up by something that would barely hit passed his hips. Drawing in a cleansing breath, trying to bring more oxygen to her brain, Kagome made her way towards the kitchen.
Upon entering, she stopped in her tracks, allowing herself to be selfish, and perhaps a little lecherous, as she drank in the sight of the man who was responsible for the ache that ran throughout her entire body. He was shirtless, with his hair up in a messy pony-tail to make it easier for him to present a full view of the broad span of his perfectly toned back, the design of his sleeve creeping over one of his shoulder blades. Every muscle flexed fluidly beneath his flesh as he rolled those perfectly sculpted shoulders and stretched his neck from one side to the other. Wearing a pair of black joggers that sat low on his hips, Kagome could envision the way his hips dipped to a perfect 'v', leading her sight towards the culprit for the sweet soreness between her thighs.
"Nope. It's worth it. It's so worth it…"
Biting her lower lip, she made her way towards him, seeing one of his ears swivel back in her direction, telling her that there was no use in trying to surprise him. "You makin' me breakfast?" she managed to chirp, despite the lingering sleep that clung to her voice.
She swore she could feel her heart skip a beat as he peered over his shoulder towards her, jaw sharp and eyes that bright, honeyed gold that she adored waking up to when she could. "Not exactly," he replied honestly, Kagome suddenly hearing the crackling of a paper bag as she wrapped her arms around his waist and pressed a kiss between his shoulder blades. Keeping herself pressed against him, she could feel the way his muscles moved against her as he pulled two cups of coffee from the bag, one hot and one cold, "I ordered breakfast. Does that count?"
"Mmm, you got me cold brew. That earns you bonus points," she beamed while nuzzling her head into his back just a little more before offering one more kiss between his shoulder blades.
Feeling him start to turn, Kagome loosened her grip on him and moved to lean her side against the counter. With them facing each other, he handed her the cold brew, watching her take it in both hands and take a sip with a smile. Shoulders lifted to her ears as she beamed with satisfaction and hummed with contentment, "Thank you."
"Thank you…" he trailed off the sentence with expectancy as he leaned down, head craning in a way so inviting that Kagome thought she knew what he was asking for.
"Thank you, daddy," she repeated just in time to feel his lips against hers, the vibration of the satisfied growl he gave off causing her lips to morph from a beaming smile to a sly grin that held all the playfulness that her sleep-filled body had.
"You better start rememberin' to call me that when we're alone, babygirl," he murmured, against her lips, prepared to steal another kiss once he was finished his statement, "I'm only gunna give you three more chances before I start givin' you real reminders." He was intentional with stating a number, knowing that 'a couple' or 'a few' were ambiguous to most people and, in the lifestyle they were experimenting with, it needed to be precise.
Kagome relinquished one of her hands from her cup, lifting it to cradle his jawline as they shared a slow, languid kiss that could easily lull her back into a sleepy haze. It calmed her, melting down her spine and loosening her muscles, despite how sore they were. God. Her core was the worst. She didn't even remember using it that much last night, what with Inuyasha maneuvering her as he pleased.
"Yes, daddy," she replied as they broke away, biting her lower lip as she watched his grin span wide across his face at the sound of his new title. "So," Kagome continued, leaning away from him and against the counter before bringing her coffee close to her mouth but not quite taking a sip, "What's the plan for today?" Only after finishing her words did she allow herself to indulge in another sip of her cold brew.
Mirroring her, Inuyasha leaned against the counter, grabbing his coffee before folding his arms across his chest, "You're lookin' at it," he explained honestly, indulging in a sip of his own coffee before tilting his head and offering a grin, "How're you feelin'?"
"Sore," Kagome stated blatantly, tilting her head with her brows raised with expectancy.
"How sore?"
"I could barely bend over to pick your shirt up off the floor," she explained honestly, seeing a glow of pride seem to flash within her boyfriend's gaze.
"Looks better on you than it does me," he added, letting his gaze flit down to her torso, above to see how his shirt hung off one of her shoulders. The smell of their union the night before surely lingered in the fibres of the fabric, which meant that the same scent would do the same to Kagome's skin, "You need anythin'? A bath? Some advil?"
A gentle hand reached out to brush some hair behind her ear before cupping her cheek, a sentiment that Kagome easily leaned into with a much warmer smile and a shake of her head, "No, I'm alright. Thank you, though," she added, turning her head to place a peck to his palm.
"How're you feelin' about last night? And I don't mean just...physically. I mean...overall; how–how're you feelin'?"
For a moment, Kagome was confused by his question, showing said confusion on her face as she furrowed her brows and tilted her head some, "I'm fine."
"Yeah? It wasn't too much?"
That confused expression melted into something much softer. Adoration and warmth radiated from her at the realization that he was checking in on her mentally, "No. I mean...it was a lot; but, a good 'a lot'. An 'a lot' that I want to try again...maybe tonight?"
His hand moved then, cupping the back of her neck to draw her in for another kiss to her lips, a little more claiming with a layer of desire beneath it, "I meant it when I said that shirt looks better on you than it does…" he breathed hotly against her lips before he began to trail his own down the side of her neck, "Looks almost as good as my marks you wear."
"Inuya– daddy," she corrected herself, though the title was laced in a soft whine, "Can we eat first and finish our coffee?" She asked sweetly, tilting her head away from him to give more access to her skin. A low growl was his response, filled with a sense of disapproving acceptance as he placed one more wet, open-mouthed kiss to her throat.
"Fine."
He'd allow her that, to fuel herself and gather strength – Kagome knew she needed it.
Every piece of her willpower was expended, Kagome needing to keep her mouth shut and hold onto a secret that involved the person she told all of them to. She'd seen the ring, how it would weigh heavy on Sango's finger and have her veering to the left for the rest of her life. It truly was impressive, especially considering she knew Miroku's wage would have warranted him to save up for quite a while to afford such a rock. Thankfully, she wasn't the only one who had to stay tight-lipped and, blessedly, that other person was Inuyasha.
It was no surprise to Kagome that Inuyasha was rather indifferent towards the situation as a whole, especially since it was practically like pulling teeth at the thought of something as trivial as Valentine's Day. Regardless, Kagome made up for the two of them when it came to the overwhelming giddiness that she felt and tried mercilessly to conceal in Sango's presence.
Much to Kagome's reluctant approval, Miroku knew full well to not have the scenario turn into a huge event, as Sango was rather casual when it came to most things and wasn't the biggest fan of being the center of attention. Eventually, best friend and boyfriend had settled on a compromise, allowing the engagement to be public but not a whole scene, like Kagome thought her friend deserved.
The four of them had driven down to the ocean's edge, parking and hopping out of Miroku's car that they all had pooled into. Kagome had lost count of the amount of times that Sango had asked if she was alright, with the former woman's lips pulled into a wide, bright smile that she couldn't seem to shake.
"Can you stop with that maniacal grin you got plastered on your face? You're freaking me out," Sango scolded, Kagome's cheeks pushed up high and flushed red with giddiness, barely able to relax enough to bring it down to a small smirk instead.
"Sorry, it's just...isn't it such a beautiful day? I mean, the sky is clear, the water is calm…" a wistful sigh left Kagome then, airing on the side of romance, as herself and Sango waited for the boys to catch up to them.
Giving Kagome an incredulous look, Sango allowed Miroku to take her hand and begin to lead them down towards the seawall, the warm day attracting many aside from themselves when it came to enjoying the view. Even with the sun inching behind the horizon, there were still plenty of people who had a similar idea to the four of them, an early evening stroll. Their fingers were laced, Sango peering up at her boyfriend with a quizzical and slightly concerned expression on her face, "Is Kagome acting weird at all to you?" she asked in a hushed tone, peering back towards the other couple who were a few steps behind.
Swallowing down his nerves, Miroku attempted to keep his own secret at bay by keeping a level head; he knew above all else that Sango was the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. He knew, of out anyone there, it would be Kagome who would give away the surprise before anyone else, and Sango's question only solidified that. "Perhaps a little odd," Miroku replied coolly, following his girlfriend's line of sight behind them before letting it flit towards her face.
Sango. The absolute love of his life. The woman who had stolen his heart with a seemingly effortless attempt. That didn't mean Miroku didn't need to put in extra effort to have those feelings reciprocated; before her, he had a reputation of a womanizer and perhaps a little bit of lecheur, at least by Inuyasha's description. It was because of that reputation that Sango decided to keep him at arm's length and hardly entertained the idea of them being anything more than acquaintances.
Their first run-in hadn't been the best, with Sango literally bumping into him while at a club and spilling her entire drink all over him. Of course, at first, the thought of bumping into a rather attractive man blooming into something more crossed her mind; that is, until he opened his mouth and made some sad attempt at a one liner that put Sango off (even though it also managed to have some sort of effect on her that she refused to acknowledge).
Somehow, Miroku had intrigued her enough to have a napkin slid his way, her number sprawled across the material in scratch.
Their first date had gone off without a hitch, simply going to see a movie before Miroku dropped her off with but a small kiss goodnight before going their separate ways. Honestly, when Inuyasha had heard Miroku state that was how their night had ended, he was absolutely dumbfounded.
"Didn't think you had it in you," the hanyou'd stated with a rather smug smirk plastered on his face. "Y'know...restraint." All Miroku could say was that Sango was worth the wait.
And how right he was.
Marriage was always something Miroku had thought about and knew he'd do eventually, but never did he think he'd desire to have someone to spend the rest of his life with like he did with Sango. She brought so much light to his soul, a picture of perfection in his eyes, and her independence and strong will only seemed to draw him in even further.
Before her, he couldn't count how many of his girlfriends had been exceptionally needy (not that he necessarily minded) and codependent to a fault, wanting to be around him as often as possible to the point where Miroku felt suffocated. Sango was her own person; she enjoyed her own hobbies and kept her identity as her own, with Miroku taking the same liberties – they understood each other that way and he honestly didn't know how he'd done relationships any other way previously.
Now, after two years of being together, he knew that Sango was his heart's forever home.
That didn't mean he wasn't extremely anxious about what he was about to do. Did he know Sango would say yes? Absolutely. But then again –
What if she didn't?
That 'what if' scenario often crept in and doused any sort of confidence he held, leaving Miroku with pre-proposal jitters that, surprisingly, Inuyasha had talked him out of more times than he'd like to admit. As opposed as his half-demon friend was to the prospect of marriage, (a piece of knowledge Miroku kept to himself) Inuyasha had been more than supportive of his friend's willingness to take the next leap of his own and Sango's relationship.
Once Kagome had heard the news that Miroku was planning to propose, it was all over – there was no backing out. The brainstorming conversations that himself and Kagome had regarding how everything was going to happen had pushed him to the point of no return. Many, many, many ideas had been tossed around, with Kagome starting off with suggesting some sort of grandiose scheme that was soon shot down by Miroku himself, stating that Kagome should have known better than most that Sango didn't like gestures of grandeur.
It had become obvious to Miroku that perhaps Kagome was projecting in the beginning, her over-excited nature towards anything romantic blinding her to what he friend would want. However, that was easily cast aside when Miroku had made that initial comment of keeping it simple, bringing his girlfriend's best friend down to the fact that the proposal was what Sango would have wanted. Even though his mind was reeling with anxiety towards his own situation, a similar anxiousness came to fruition at the realization that the relationship between his own best friend and his girlfriend could find their own sense of harsh reality.
That thought was fleeting, however, as Miroku knew it wasn't worth fretting over, when his own relationship was beyond his first priority.
After many discussions, they'd all agreed on a walk on the seawall, with Kagome offering to document the moment as she was sure Sango would have appreciated it. That meant there was an easy cover, with the four of them often going on double dates often enough and, with the weather the month of May brought, it was the perfect time to put said plan into action.
"Can you be any more obvious?" Inuyasha's lips pressed against Kagome's temple, murmuring against the skin there with a tone that bordered annoyed and amused at the same time.
A flush crossed Kagome's cheeks at that, despite the fact that she was mildly insulted by the fact that her boyfriend was inadvertently accusing her of ruining the surprise. "I'm not being obvious!" she hissed in response, keeping her volume as low as she possibly could, knowing Inuyasha would be able to hear her with little hindrance.
"Isn't it such a beautiful day?" he mocked, pitching his voice higher as if to mimic her, resulting in a weighted smack against his chest and a scowl etched in his girlfriend's features.
"You two okay back there?" Sango asked, keeping her hold on Miroku's hand as she turned to face her friends, walking backward to keep the pace with her boyfriend as she did so.
Both Inuyasha and Kagome changed their demeanour almost immediately, with Kagome offering a bright, rather unconvincingly casual, smile. "We're just fine. Why?" she asked, as if it wasn't obvious that she'd displayed a sense of frustration towards the man who had his arm slung over her shoulders, clutching her to his side as they walked.
Quirking a brow upward, proving that she wasn't swayed or convinced, Sango turned back around to walk forward, but not without the gentle quip, "Can just never tell with you two; I swear, you act like an old married couple, sometimes."
The statement had the other couple's spines to straighten, with Miroku's doing the same for the identical reason. It was Miroku's turn to peer over his shoulder, giving the other couple a look of warning to stop whatever the hell they were doing, lest they give the whole operation away. Taking the hint, Inuyasha and Kagome made their way close to the other couple, matching their strides as they continued their leisurely stroll around the seawall.
Conversation fell into something much more comfortable and mundane, with Sango and Kagome eventually pairing off and walking ahead of the boys to discuss the brand trip to Vegas that Kagome had been invited to and asked Sango to come along. It was mostly logistical things like whether or not they'd drive a car themselves or get one of the boys to take them, what they'd be bringing to wear and what shows they should book.
It wasn't until they passed a park that Sango found herself at Miroku's side, an unspoken signal between best friend and boyfriend that the sun had begun to set in a way that would allow for a rather mystical and ambient setting. Kagome stopped the group then, "Can we stop for a second? I gotta head to the bathroom," she stated, flitting her gaze towards Inuyasha with the gesture for him to follow her.
"Oh–uh, me too," he blurted, feeling Kagome take his hand and practically drag him towards the public bathrooms.
As the two of them practically sprinted away, Sango felt a twinge of frustration build in her chest, brows furrowed as she turned her attention back to Miroku. "What the hell is going on with them?!" she exclaimed with intent, expecting her boyfriend to give her some form of answer, but instead simply gave a shrug, "You know something," Sango added, narrowing her gaze towards him with accusation. Miroku swallowed some, suddenly realizing just how heavy the small box in his jacket pocket was, but keeping a very collected demeanour about him regardless.
"I do," he stated suddenly, causing Sango's expression to morph into one of genuine surprise. It wasn't just the fact that he admitted it, but the way he had done so with such a natural tone that had her confused.
"You do?" Sango repeated before seeing Miroku give her a nod. When he took her hands in his, thumb brushing over her knuckles, that confusion changed into anxiousness, heart beginning to pump harder in her chest as her eyes widened some, "Miroku?"
"I know that you are the woman who has changed me for the better," he began, his voice unwavering, holding firm in his confidence as he continued, "That, ever since we met, I knew that I needed you in my life one way or another, and I'm thankful to have you as my partner, my girlfriend."
Sango remained silent, heart beginning to pound in her chest as her eyes remained locked on his face, her mouth slightly agape with uncertainty as she listened intently. She clung to every word, her heart nearly stopping as Miroku said the words, "But I don't want you to be my girlfriend anymore."
If her heart was made out of glass, the sound of shattering would be heard. Countless emotions flashed through her mind at that statement: confusion, shock, rage. How could he do this to her? And in public, of all places!
Those thoughts were but a fleeting moment as she watched Miroku fall to one knee, the lump that had formed changing its meaning from absolute betrayal to irrevocable, overwhelming excitement to the point of being speechless. The moment Miroku's hand left one of hers to reach into his pocket, she covered her mouth, eyes welling with tears, "Miroku…" she whimpered, voice strained as she watched him pull a box from his jacket, relinquishing her other hand from his to join her own on her mouth.
"I want you to be my wife, instead," he finally stated, opening the box to reveal the ring, "I want to spend the rest of my life with you, Sango," he paused then, seeing the absolute shock on his girlfriend's (hopefully now fiance's) face, "Will you marry me?"
Unable to find the words to express just how much she accepted his request, she simply nodded, sniffling softly before pulling her hands away from her mouth just enough to give out a soft squeak of a 'yes'. The answer had Miroku climbing to his feet, lips pulled into a wide smile of elation and relief, especially when Sango repeated the answer, "Yes. I will. I wanna marry you," she repeated, moving her hands to cup his neck as he leaned closer with the intention of stealing a kiss.
Wrapping his arms around her waist, Miroku pulled her close against him, mindful of the rather expensive ring that was still held in his hand. The kiss lingered through the high-pitched cheers that surrounded them, led on by Kagome herself as she kept her phone's camera aimed at them, having filmed almost the entire thing.
Willing himself to break the kiss, Miroku pulled from Sango, watching as she held out her left hand instinctually. Without hesitation, he pulled the ring from the box and slid it on the appropriate finger. Inspecting it, Sango gave a nod as a wordless confirmation that she approved of the cut and size, not that she would have cared either way – as long as the ring was from him, she would have worn it with pride.
From a few yards away, Kagome watched with a smile so wide it nearly looked painful, peering through the screen on her phone to make sure the frame was still set up properly before peering towards the scene in front of her in real time. She watched as her best friends shared another kiss, leaning against Inuyasha and resting her head against his shoulder with that same wistful energy she's had since that morning.
Wrapping an arm around her shoulder, Inuyasha rubbed Kagome's shoulder as she gave off another cheer, causing other bystanders to stop and join in. A round of applause followed, echoing as Sango and Miroku basked in the pure joy they were engulfed by in that moment. When that moment subsided, Sango's attention turned towards Kagome, seeing the phone pointed towards them for a moment more before it was pocketed.
Pulling from Inuyasha, Kagome jogged towards Sango, that same wide, toothy smile blinding anyone who saw it. As she got close enough, Sango held out her hand for Kagome to see, said woman taking her hand in both of her own, "It's gorgeous!" Kagome exclaimed as if she hadn't been the one to help Miroku choose it.
"Is this why you've been acting so weird?" Sango couldn't help but ask, wiping her eyes with her free hand as she did so. Kagome was having a hard time keeping herself together, nodding in response as her own throat clogged with a lump, her eyes welling up with tears of happiness for her friend – for her sister.
Inuyasha had followed after Kagome, though at a much more leisurely pace, finding his stance beside Miroku as the girls had their own moment. Giving Miroku a pat on the back along with a nod, Inuyasha offered a soft, though genuine, smile, "Congrats," he stated with genuine authenticity, despite his opinions regarding what had just transpired, "Told ya she'd say 'yes'."
The rest of the outing had been filled with Sango and Kagome gushing about all things wedding related. As excited as Sango was about being engaged, it seemed Kagome was just that much more so, which in turn had Sango feeding off that energy. Plans had been made to set up dates for dress shopping, venue viewing and cake tasting, all with Kagome placing the options towards Miroku to feign a sense of keeping him involved, not that he minded. It wasn't surprising to see the two girls dive head-first into planning.
They were so deep in their conversation that it was only Miroku who noticed how Inuyasha's jaw was clenched as he tried to hide the irritation that coursed through him. He was happy for Miroku and Sango, truly he was, but what was transpiring by the second was part of the reason he wasn't keen on marriage. The planning, the anxiety, the trivial decisions. None of it appealed to him and he'd told himself he'd avoid it at all costs.
A part of him became anxious at the sight of just how excited Kagome was about planning her friend's wedding, how she seemed to have everything already planned, as if she were waiting for her own. Though, the very denial-driven part of him told himself that Kagome was just a planner by nature, she loved hosting and curating a place of entertainment that could be shared by her friends and family – planning a wedding was like the ultimate opportunity for her to flex that muscle.
The ride home was no different, Sango and Kagome having opted to sit in the back together so to continue their microplanning. The words 'pintrest' 'catering' and 'decorations' were tossed around mercilessly, only barely drowned out by Inuyasha and Miroku's own conversation paired with the radio.
"Get ready for a year a'this, at least…" Inuyasha murmured, seeing Miroku's lips pull into a genuine smile at the thought. Such a reaction had the half-demon rolling his eyes and leaning his head back against the seat, knowing full well that his friend was just as giddy as the gaggling girls behind them.
Blessedly, Miroku had pulled up to the front entrance of Kagome's apartment, and not a moment too soon. Hopefully, with Kagome on her own, the topic of marriage would be left behind for the time being; however, that hope was dashed at her words, "I'll text you more things to pin tonight!"
Giving Miroku and Sango one last congratulations, Inuyasha climbed out of the car, stopping to give Sango a hug as she moved to the passenger seat. As the newly engaged couple drove off, Kagome took Inuyasha's hand in her own, lacing their fingers over as she released another wistful sigh, "I'm so happy for them," she mused, peering up at him as they made their way to the elevators, "Miroku was so nervous," she added, seeing Inuyasha's attention remain ahead of them (maybe even purposefully avoiding her direction) as he pressed the call button, "I don't know how he ever thought Sango wouldn't say 'yes'. I mean, sure, she can be a little hard to read sometimes, but…" Shrugging as the door opened, Kagome stepped in, immediately pressing her floor before she leaned against the wall and let her gaze find Inuyasha's face once again, "It wasn't a question they'd get married, I mean really. They've been together for two years, so it's about time, y'know?"
Inuyasha could only nod once, slow and distracted, trying hard to keep himself from saying something he didn't mean. However, when she continued to unintentionally press the subject, asking him, "When do you think is a good time to start thinking about marriage?" he couldn't stop himself from speaking candidly.
"I dunno. Never?"
Never.
The word had Kagome caught off guard, eyes widening as her brows furrowed in confusion and an initial sense of absolute denial, "Never?" she repeated, letting her voice reveal every piece of dissatisfaction that word bestowed upon her.
"Look, I'm happy for 'em and good on 'em for takin' the plunge," Inuyasha gave a shrug, keeping his shoulders up to his chin as he continued, almost as if to protect himself from her response, "But marriage is stupid."
Kagome's face fell then, all joy and excitement from the day draining from it as she seemed all but let her body slump against the wall. She didn't know what to call it, the feeling of her stomach plummeting and her chest clenching as she tried to comprehend exactly what Inuyasha was telling her. Her mouth gaped for a moment before closing, gaze leaving his as a sudden wave of flashbacks crashed over her.
"I can't marry you. I can't marry a human."
The words were familiar, but the voice wasn't who it usually came from. Maybe it was because Inuyasha was still speaking, but she could swear that it was his voice, not Koga's, that rushed from one side of her mind to the other.
"It's just a piece of paper," he added, able to sense Kagome's sudden drop from bright and airy to dark and heavy. Anxiety gripped him at that, knowing he had been trying to convince himself that it was just the planning that had her so happy, but knowing full well that wasn't the case.
Silence fell between them, the ding of the elevator the only sound even after they both exited through the doors and down the hallway. Kagome's strides were swift and frantic, Inuyasha following behind her with his own anxiety and desperation as he lamely called after her, "Kagome–"
She wanted to tell herself that she had a thousand questions to ask him, many of them threatening to bubble to the surface. As disorientedly hurt as she was, she knew better than to start the conversation in the middle of the hallway, especially if said conversation likely would turn into an argument. Pulling her purse in front of her, she rummaged through it for her keys as she walked, ignoring his call as she managed to snag them.
Holding the knob with one hand, she unlocked the door with the other, acting rather frantically, as if she didn't want him to catch up to her. Inuyasha could sense said frenziness, jaw clenched and his own sense of anxiety creeping to the surface as he watched her manage to click the lock and push the door open. He half expected her to slam it closed on him and lock it back up, his pace never leaving a somewhat casual one to try and mask the fact that he knew she was angry with him.
However, the door remained open, Inuyasha taking it as an invitation and walking through the threshold before slowly closing it behind him.
Tossing her purse onto the counter as she walked into her apartment, her steps replicating that of a storm as folded her arms over her chest. When she heard Inuyasha call to her again, timid and tired, attempting to apologize but falling short in sincerity.
"Arrow."
The word left Kagome confidently, turning to face Inuyasha in time to see him freeze in place, staring at her with eyes wide with surprise. That safeword had been used once or twice, but always in the bedroom and always in the sense of something feeling too good. For her to use it in their everyday setting, Inuyasha felt no anger, disappointment or resentment, but that anxiousness continued to build.
Their dynamic was out the window in that moment, the two of them simply girlfriend and boyfriend rather than dominant and submissive. The lack of power dynamic couldn't be brought into everything and Kagome had just enough realization to put a stop to it before it blurred the line too much. Doing so could end up being dangerous and neither of them wanted that.
"Never?" She asked again, exasperated and frantic, her own eyes wide with something Inuyasha could sense was similar to fear, "Never!? What do you mean, never!?" For the first time in a long time, Kagome felt herself spiralling; she was falling into something she couldn't control, her own insecurities beginning to weave into her psyche. Koga didn't want marriage with her; he didn't want to be married to her. Now, the only other person she could see herself being with for the rest of her life, the only person she truly felt could have been her soulmate, didn't want to get married to her, either.
Inuyasha was no stranger to the way her voice strained when she was angry, how she always needed to swallow down a lump in her throat and stop herself from crying. How successful she was in that feat had an unbalanced ratio, but he knew it was just her response to conflict. However, this time seemed different; there was more desperation in her tone, vulnerability dripping from each word as she stared at him with a pleading gaze that told him to take back what he said.
He couldn't lie to her. That would only make her more angry at him.
"I mean never. I never think of getting married and I never plan on it." Defensive. He was getting defensive, finding the outburst to be out of left field and completely unwarranted. Kagome was usually the level-headed one, able to make an uncomfortable topic a simple discussion rather than a dizzying discourse of words practically thrown at him with the intent to mame. Yet, there she was, seemingly in some frame of mind that Inuyasha had never truly seen her in; it was as if she were losing control over her emotions.
"Why not?!"
"Kagome–"
"Tell me why not!"
There were tears threatening to fall then, welled up in her mahogany gaze as she continued to keep that pleading look that Inuyasha didn't really know how to rectify, "Because–I told you–it's stupid!"
"So, you think it's stupid wanting to marry me," she projected, finally feel the lump in her throat break, causing her voice to do the same thing as her lip quivered. One arm crossed over her chest as the other wiped under her nose as she sniffled, "You don't want to marry me."
"Wh–" He was dumbfounded, spine straightening as he turned his head to the side slightly but kept his gaze aimed towards her, "What the fuck are you talkin' about? I don't wanna marry anyone, Kagome." There was something there that she wasn't telling him and he realized now that she was feeding him a spoonful of his own medicine; whether it was intentional or not was something else entirely.
Inuyasha continued to keep his distance, brows furrowed with concern, confusion and frustration; perhaps it was foolish of him to just assume that Kagome figured he was against marriage, telling her about his past should have been obvious enough. However, he was now coming to the realization that he'd misjudged and the way he was handling it now was far from tactful. There was the excuse of his own anxieties making it difficult to keep his mouth shut. The thought of marriage made him squirm, what with the formalities and trivial planning, and knowing now that Kagome seemed hellbent on the subject only amplified those anxieties.
"Then why are you with me?!"
Such force did her voice give, that her arms were straight at her sides with her fists clenched and her shoulders brought to her ears before being pushed down to reinforce it. The crack in the words that left her echoed throughout the apartment as a chilling aftermath of her shriek. All sensibilities in her shattered then, panting heavily as she witnessed the pure consternation on her boyfriend's – her lover's – face. Those dazzling gold eyes seemed to flare with offence and insult, brows lifted towards his hairline as his mouth hung agape.
"What's the point?!"
Another twist of the dagger that Kagome had managed to pierce right into Inuyasha's heart, body flinching back at her second assaulting inquiry, one arm lifted to guard his chest as if he were physically stopping a blow to it.
"Kagome–" he tried to interject, only to hear her continue on her frantic, berserker tirade that Inuyasha was almost afraid to interrupt.
"No! I need to know why you even bother with this relationship at all! Why do you put effort in, if you don't plan on marrying me!?"
"Jesus fuckin' christ, Kagome! Where the hell is all of this comin' from!?" Finally, his voice rose against hers, clashing against it like two swords trapped in a deadlock; with that said, he had come out the victor, Kagome falling silent, panting heavily from exerting so much verbal carnage.
"Is it because I'm human? Is that it?!" She spewed, her voice turning more agonizing by the moment, showing the anguish it held at the prospect of losing another person for some reason or another that she had no control over. So hurt and devastated as she was, she wasn't even thinking rationally towards the fact that Inuyasha himself was half human. He wasn't Koga. Their relationship was completely different. But, at that moment, they were exactly the same.
That last question had his eyes wide and his mouth hung agape once more, leaning his head forward as if he was trying to catch what she said all over again, "Because you're hu–what?!"
"Yeah! Is that it? Because I'm human, you can't marry me?!" She repeated, shrugging rather emphatically before pointing her to herself.
"What the fuck does that have to do with anything?!" He finally shouted, eyes wide and filled with an odd sense of absolute insult and utter confusion, "Look," he backed off some, relaxing his body just a bit as his head tilted and shook, "Just because I don't wanna get married, doesn't mean I don't wanna spend the rest of my life with you!"
As aggressive as his tone was, as irritated and hurt as it was, Kagome latched onto the sentiment that Inuyasha had mentioned spending the rest of his life with her. Her body relaxed some, eyes still welled up with tears as her fist relinquished their clenched state and her arms fell much more limp than before, "You…" she began, swallowing back the urge to crumble into a fit of sobs, "You want to spend–"
"The rest of my life. With you."
Silence fell between them completely, Kagome trying incessantly to keep her tears at bay. A part of her wanted to keep being hurt, keep being angry and irrational because, in a weird way, it felt liberating. Yet, the look of confusion, anger and insult on Inyasha's face had her stopping, her own falling into one of regret as her eyes welled up with more tears.
"Are you done?" His tone wasn't necessarily comforting, almost mocking in nature as he continued to stare her down. Kagome's demeanor morphed into one of humiliation and timidness, wrapping her arms around her as she averted her gaze from his face to the floor before she gave a pathetic nod, "Are you gunna tell me what the fuck just happened?"
"I–" she began through a choked sob, sniffling right after as she tried to find the words, "I'm sorry. I–"
"I don't want an apology, I want an answer," he snapped, causing Kagome's head to flinch upward, meeting his gaze and seeing him standing rather straight, arms folded across his chest with his jaw clenched tightly and his dark brows furrowed and pinched together.
Kagome was emotionally and mentally spent, words muddling together and coherent, rational thought losing all motivation as she simply blurted out the word, "Koga–"
The name had Inuyasha's arms fall to his sides, fists clenched with the intent to seek out and find the fucking prick who brough Kagome so much turmoil, "What?" The word was dripping with venom, spoken behind gritted teeth as his lips curled upward in a snarl.
"He didn't want to marry me because I'm human. He–" she drew in a shaky breath as she shook her head and burst into another fit of sobs, "He left me because I'm human. I'm sorry. I'm sorry–" She took a step towards him, an arm half outstretched as if to try and find some grounding, but when he took a step back, she froze, heart cracking at the sentiment.
She fucked up.
Perhaps he should have comforted her and told her that he understood, that she was forgiven. But that statement held so much more than what was taken at face value. Koga had left her and, though Kagome had never explicitly stated it was mutual, she'd heavily implied it. It left Inuyasha feeling lied to, like she'd hidden something from him. Not only that, but the reason he'd left her was because of her blood. She should have known he would have understood that fully and completely, yet she didn't tell him. It was obvious from the way she reacted that it was a rather traumatic experience for her, something that haunted her, and yet she didn't tell him.
She was being hypocritical, which was almost worse than being lied to, in his eyes.
Then there was the fact that Koga had left her and it was obvious by the way she reacted that she was still hung up on him, at least to a small degree. That realization alone brought a very real sense of insecurity of his to light; Koga was full demon, he was half. So, if Koga came running back and asked her to get back together–
Would she?
Obviously, that was his own irrational thought, so he simply stuck to something tangible – something rooted in fact.
"So, let me get this straight," Inuyasha started, straightening his spine and folding his arms back over his chest only to lift one of his hands to gesture while he spoke, "You rode my ass for keeping things from you, then you turn around and keep shit like this from me?!"
"Yash, no. I–I didn't mean to I–" Kagome stuttered, trying (and failing) miserably to try and explain her way out of what was beginning to transpire. He was right. She was being hypocritical; she didn't lie to him, but she did withhold information, just as he had.
A scoff left him, letting his arms fall loosely as he shook his head, "Un–fuckin'–believable," he stated rather flattly, tossing his arms in the same manner before taking a step back and turning towards the door.
"No! No, Yash, please! Please! I'm sorry!" She begged frantically, talking in gasping, panicked breaths as she sprinted towards him, "Don't go! Please, don't go! Please!"
"I opened up to you!" He snapped, whirling around to face her, causing Kagome to stop just before she ran head first into him, "I opened up to you more than I ever opened up to anyone in my life! I told you about my childhood and that scared the absolute living shit out of me! I trusted you!" He yelled, blinding hurt, betrayal and anger passing over his features, "And you didn't do the same," his volume lowered but all the emotions within his voice held true, pointing his index finger towards her as he practically loomed over her, "You expected me to bare my soul to you," he was mocking her at that point, opening his arms wide and making his voice slightly more breathy, "Tell you everything about me and be vulnerable, but no, it's fine. You keep this shit to yourself; s'not like I'd understand what it felt like to be broken up with because of my blood, right?"
Kagome couldn't help but stay frozen in place, feeling the weight of his words and realizing that she'd lost the battle. He'd earned her trust multiple times over since their initial blow up, being honest and communicating with her to the best of his abilities, and now she'd gone and betrayed him in the same way. If she were cruel she would have asked how it felt, but she knew that wasn't fair; he'd learned his lesson, and perhaps her doing this had solidified it.
She didn't know what to say or how she could make it better, to mend what she's very obviously broken; but it wasn't that easy, "Yash, I'm so sorry. It wasn't–I really didn't think–"
Inuyasha released one final, calming sigh before reaching for the door knob, "I'll call you in the morning. I need time t–" his eyes closed, averting his gaze from her, "I need time to think."
"No, Yash, please. Please–don't leave!"
Watching him open the door, her pleading became more frantic, taking a step towards him with the intent to physically hold him back but was too far out of reach. The sound of the door practically slamming behind him left her in the cold silence of her apartment, Kagome's forward momentum causing her to run into the door.
Heavy, gasping sobs left her as she banged her fists against the door, her forehead resting against it with the knowledge that there was no use in chasing after him, "No. Please…" She whimpered almost silently to herself.
"Please don't leave."