This one took a little long for me to get redone. You're going to have to definitely re-read this whole chapter if you'd read it before, because this is definitely where I made the most changes so far to get the ball rolling on steering the fic in the direction I want it to go in now.
I hope that you all don't mind, but I'm no longer going to play the, Mustang wanting redemption angle. I'm going to give him a different purpose and let you guys in on that later. As for Winry, I'm going to give her some early closure so that I can play a bit more with the interactions between the both of them.
Disclaimer: I own this fic and I'm proud of it!
Chapter 4: The Friends
"Roy Mustang?"
Shit
"Winry Rockbell."
*****^w^*****
If there was ever a moment in life that Roy wished he could go back and redo, this would be it. What he would change, he wasn't sure. Maybe he would stay in the office later, maybe leave earlier. Maybe he would walk in a different direction home, or maybe he would turn and run like he first thought. Whatever he would do, it would not lead him to the point where he was standing in front of Winry Rockbell.
There was a long stretch of silence between the two of them, neither knowing what to say. What could either of them say to the other? Winry stared at the ground, her hands fisted in her skirt. She wasn't sure how she felt or what she wanted to do. This was the point in her life where she had finally decided to let go and move on and then here he was, the bearer of her worst memories, standing in front of her. Did she really need such a big test of her resolve so soon?
Sure, she could scream, run, yell, ignore him and act like this meeting never happened. What would that prove? What would that say about her? It would make everything she previously, less than minutes ago, thought a lie. Whatever this test was, she would pass.
"Funny meeting you here," Winry forced out. It was the only thing she could think to say that sounded polite. Winry had never had to face her feelings towards Mustang head on and she wasn't prepared to do that now either. Did she hate him? Did she just blindly forgive him because he did and still does so much for her friends?
Mustang stared for a second before looking away, his eyes turning to the sky. Amused, he thought in the back of his mind that if there was a god, he hated him.
"You're out late." was his simple reply.
"I was just heading home. Work was late."
"Be careful then."
And like that, Roy started to continue walking away. Success. Winry watched his steadily receding form. Was that really it? Was she going to let him just leave? He had so easily disregarded her. No, she wasn't mad or anything about it, but still…
Shaking her head, she tried to continue in her own direction, but no matter how her brain yelled at her feet to move, they didn't. This didn't feel right. It was too easy. She was letting herself take the easy way out.
She took a deep breath and steadied herself. It was simple. She had to talk to him. She had to have a conversation with him, a full one. She needed to sort out her own feelings if she was really going to try to move forward.
Her feet finally moving, she fell into a steady pace, only, it was not in her previous direction. She was following him now. She swallowed. Winry Rockbell was following Roy Mustang.
"Wait!"
To say Roy was surprised was the understatement of the year. There were no words to describe what went through his mind in that moment where a small hand grabbed onto his bigger, gloved one, and stopped him in his tracks. The girl held tight, her eyes never making contact and her face down, her hair hiding her gaze that probably spoke volumes right now.
He let go of the breath he didn't even know he had been holding. "Can I help you?" He tried to sound as composed as he could.
Winry's own mind was not as clear. She didn't even realize what she had done until she was already holding him back, his hand in her own. Okay girl, you've come this far. Don't look stupid. TALK!
"I...uh…" She didn't even know what she wanted to say. She just knew she needed to talk to him. For her parents, for letting go, and most importantly for herself, she needed to talk to him. "Do you mind…if we go somewhere?"
Okay, rewind. He wasn't as surprised about the previous moment as he was about this one. Had she really just asked him out? Of course she didn't mean like on a date…right?
"I don't mean it like that." Winry soon clarified, as if reading his thoughts.
Okay, it wasn't a date. Keeping his blank face on, not wanting to show even a bit of his inner thoughts, he removed his hand from the girls and shoved them both into his pocket. "It's getting late. Perhaps another time?"
"R-Right…I don't know what I was thinking."
Maybe she had been a little too eager. He had a point and it was the middle of the night after all. The only places open right now were bars and perhaps the conversation she wanted to have with him needed a different atmosphere for sure.
Roy mentally scolded himself. The disappointment was clear on her face, so whatever she had to say must have been important. But, talking to her was a risk. Was he really ready to sit and listen to her lay into him, if that was what she was about to do. Did he even need to hear her tell him she hated him? He could imagine she did.
He sighed. He needed to get out of here. "I'm aware of your living quarters. I'll stop by when I have some free time." That was the best he could offer her at the moment. Sure, he didn't really know where she lived, but he could ask around if need be.
Winry was a little taken aback but recovered fast. "That sounds like a plan." She smiled.
Roy nodded and turned to leave. "Good…Now stay safe on your walk home."
Winry stared and watched him go, this time not wanting to run after him. She could let him walk away. Sure, nothing had been solved, yet, but she was getting there. She would talk to him and finally clear the air.
Mustang was such a mystery to her, which was one of the reasons she couldn't figure out where her head was at concerning him. It would have been so much easier in the past to just write him off for what he had done and then the way he always treated and teased Ed. And then, there were the times where he had put himself on the line to save the boys and how he seemed almost fatherly in the way he would worry for them. No, she didn't have a lot of personal interaction to go on with the man, but the few that she did have were something to think over.
Turning around, Winry continued on her ways towards her own apartment, staring at the hand she had used to grab and stop Mustang.
*****^w^*****
The next morning, Roy was in his office bright and early, the previous night's events still fresh in his mind. This girl had been here for two years now and why did she want to talk to him all of a sudden? Why ask him out?
After the encounter, Roy had gone to the closest bar and had a few drinks before going home. The entire encounter had rattled him, if he had to be honest. Roy didn't like being blindsided by anything. He liked to be on top of things and one step ahead at all times.
This situation had him walking in the dark and he did not like the feeling at all. The ball was all in her court and he couldn't even fathom what type of move she was going to make. He had to go over and talk to her tonight, because if he didn't, he was going to go crazy over thinking the entire thing.
"Are you ok sir? Did you not sleep well last night?" Riza asked.
Roy shook his head and didn't want to think of why he didn't sleep well last night. "I am fine…What of the plans?"
Riza knew he was lying, but ignored it. "Everything is a go. I have already informed Mr. Hughes also and he would be delighted to come. Though, his wife is going to visit her family with her daughter so it will just be him."
Roy nodded. He really needed to use this vacation to unwind and a beach was the perfect place. Beaches meant girls in tiny bikinis.
At that moment, Havok walked in, a cigarette between his lips as always. "Hey I heard the news. Are we really going on a vacation?" He didn't want to get his hopes up, but damn was a vacation really what all of them needed. They hadn't taken one in forever.
Roy nodded. "I figured we may as well take advantage of this peaceful time. The beach will be nice."
Havok couldn't wait to tell the others that this news was actually true. Just then, he had a thought. "Do you mind if I bring a friend?"
Mustang just shrugged. "Sure I don't care." He knew that he was probably going to bring his latest girlfriend. The man was known for being in and out of relationships quicker than anyone else they knew.
"Excellent! Well, see ya." He said and excited the office, a big grin on his face.
Mustang leaned back in his chair and sighed. There was nothing going on at work today. He came in and had even been able to quickly finish the papers that were on his desk since there weren't that many. It wasn't even lunch yet.
"Why don't you all go home and pack for today. There's no need to stick around here." Roy suggested.
Riza looked at him. She did want to get some shopping done. She needed a new swimsuit and some extra beach-ready clothes. "Are you sure that you will be ok here today?"
"Yes. There's nothing going on anyway."
Riza thought for a second before deciding that he was right and she did have things to do. Sighing, she relented and said her fare wells as she left the office, alerting their comrades of the day off on her way.
Roy was glad to finally have some time alone. He wanted to try and clear his mind. He didn't understand why, but running into that girl should not be bothering him as much as it was. Images of her flashed through his mind; of her standing there, of her holding his hand, asking him out. He shook his head and sighed.
She was bad for his health. He had come this far with himself and was almost just getting to a point where the pain and the nightmares were slowing down and here she was, walking into his life and possibly about to bring it all back. Who hangs with the person that murdered their parents? Was she trying to trick him? Make him think she forgave him and then throw it in his face.
Roy's brow creased together. He didn't like to be played with and hoped that wasn't what the girl thought she was doing or she would regret it. Leaning back, he groaned. This vacation was more needed now than it was before. He needed to get away from her. Maybe he would just wait until he got back to try to talk to her instead.
Yeah, that was what he would do. Some time off and fresh air was sure to clear his mind and then he would come back, ready for whatever she had to throw at him.
*****^w^*****
Winry sighed as she removed her apron and walked back into the front room of the bakery. Her shift was ending early today so that she could go home and try to get some more work done on cleaning up the shop to prepare it to open.
She had thought about what she and Amaya had talked about, and yes, she had gotten into automail mainly because she wanted to be of use to Ed. But, she had been doing it so long that it was all she knew and this point and it was what she was good at. It wasn't so much that she was still doing this for her friends anymore as much as it was that she was doing it for herself. She wanted something to call her own, something that she build by herself and could be proud of. This shop was going to be it.
Winry said her final goodbye and was heading for the door when a familiar face made an unannounced appearance.
"Oh, hello Jean. How are you?" she greeted with a warm smile.
"How are you doing today?" Havok waved. He also waved to Amaya behind the counter. "You were heading out?"
Winry nodded. "Yes. I have to get some work done at home."
Scratching the back of his head, Havok looked a little nervous. "Well, I was wondering if you wanted to come with all of us on a beach vacation."
Winry thought for a moment. "I can't really afford that right now." she answered, not really having much interest in going.
"We would pay for you of course." Jean added, sensing her rejection. "It could be fun and a chance to get away." He was almost holding his breath and hoping that she would say yes.
"I think it sounds like a great idea!" Amaya yelled from the counter, smiling, after over hearing their conversation.
"But I have to work." Winry tried to say.
"We can handle things here without you for a while." Amaya answered back.
"My house and shop?"
"I'll watch them both." She was not leaving the girl room to say no. It was time for her to get out and have a little fun. "GO! Let your hair down!"
"She has a point." Jean added.
Knowing when she was beat, Winry sighed. "Fine. When are we leaving?"
"Tomorrow morning."
Winry almost fell where she was standing. "You can't expect me to be ready by tomorrow morning to leave!" There was so much she still had to do.
"I sure do. See you at the train station in the morning." Jean said as he casually walked out of the shop just as he had come.
She couldn't believe this. This was way too short of a notice. She needed some clothes and other basic items and she only had today to get all of them. Though she had been hoping to get some work done in her shop, it didn't look like it was going to happen. She had shopping to do. Now!
Winry threw an annoyed glare at Amaya as she opened the door to leave. The girl just grinned back and waved.
*****^w^*****
Roy whistled and he strolled through the streets, his hands in his pockets and glanced from time to time at all of the items in the shop windows. Even he had a few things to get before he could be fully packed.
Walking through the city was proving to be just what he needed at the moment and he was happy to have been able to get out. The day was actually very clear and the weather was perfect.
Roy had only been walking so long until he came to a small café. He figured that he might as well get some lunch while he was at it. Walking in, he took a seat at one of the booths towards the back and picked up the menu. It wasn't long until a waitress was at his side and asking for his drink order.
"I'll have a cup of coffee for now." he said, thumbing through the pages of sandwiches and other selections.
"I'll be right out with your drink." the waitress said and turned prepared to walk off.
"Actually, could you make that 2 coffees please." a new voice said before the lady got too far.
Roy had been so caught up in the menu that he didn't notice the other person until they took a seat across from him. He moved the menu from in front of his face and had only a split second to regain his composure before cursing and letting his face slip.
Sitting in front of him was none other than Winry. He couldn't help but to wonder how he had been able to avoid this girl for 2 years and yet, here he was running into her every day. Yup, there was that horrible luck he seemed to have; and here he thought he had lost it. Looks like it came back full force.
Winry tried her best to smile, hoping it didn't look too forced. She had been walking by the café when she was almost positive she saw Roy enter. Her first mind had been to act like she didn't see him, but whatever this new voice she had in her head was, it was telling her to go and talk to him. The previous night was still so fresh in her mind.
Winry had gone home and thought over them meeting over and over again. She realized that Roy was a large step for her to overcome. There was so much history there that could rear its ugly head at any time and she didn't want that. She wasn't sure what she wanted in regards to him honestly, but she knew that one of the things was peace of mind.
She needed to get to know him, to convince herself that she held no grudges against him and was able to fully forgive and forget. Roy Mustang was an obstacle that she needed to face head on.
"How are you doing today?" Winry asked.
"I am well." was his simple reply.
Winry gulped. "Well, I'm glad that I ran into you." she admitted.
This caught Roy's attention. She was glad to see him? "Is there something I can do for you?" he asked, unsure. She might have been glad to run into him, but he felt the opposite.
Before Winry could start talking again, the waitress returned with their coffee, and proceeded to take their orders. Winry graciously declined since she wasn't hungry and waited for Roy to finish his order. She played with her hands under the table, a lot of her resolve slipping.
After the server left again, Roy blew on his coffee and took a sip, drinking it black. There was a silence between them while he waited for Winry to start talking.
"I saw Jean today. He invited me to go to the beach with all of you. I hope that's alright." Winry blurted out, needing something, anything, to say.
Roy's eye twitched at the news and he made a mental not to kill his former friend. In fact, he needed to kill him, Hughes, and Fullmetal for this predicament even existing. They were all obviously against him and laughing the background.
"That's nice. I hope you enjoy the trip." Roy forced out, realizing that his silence probably made her feel uncomfortable about wanting to go.
There was another stretch of neither knowing what to say. Roy wasn't sure what it was, but he was losing patience. The air was thick and Roy was on the brink of losing patience with the awkwardness of it all. This was the second time she had approached him and he really wished she would spit it out already.
"If there is something you need to discuss with me, then I would prefer that you say it and not stall." He didn't mean for that to sound as harsh as it did.
Winry was a little caught off guard. She knew that she was stalling, but that was only because her resolve was quickly slipping. If she didn't say something now, then she would never say it. She shut her eyes and took a deep breath, letting it out. She was unaware of how this made her look to Roy. He thought she was about to confess to robbing a bank or something.
"I just…I just need to know something." Her voice was low.
Here it comes. "And what is that?" Roy asked, remaining as impassive as he could.
"My…parents…Do you regret it?...And, please…be honest."
Winry wasn't even aware that she was holding her breath until she felt her throat becoming tight and her heart trying to escape her chest. She wasn't sure if she could handle the answer, whatever it would be, nor this entire conversation in general anymore. Right now, this was all feeling like the biggest mistake of her life.
"…Is this all you want to know?" Roy sighed. He wasn't surprised, and he wasn't in the habit of talking about himself on any deeper level than necessary, but right now, was about to be an exception. "…Because, you're only getting one question, so I hope you're asking the right one."
Blue eyes looked up, wide, at the response. Was there anything else she would need to ask him other than this? What did he mean? "…Yes…this is all I want to know."
Sitting back, his coffee in his hand, he pinned her with a stare that both captivated and left her frozen to her spot. His eyes had changed to her, like a pair of sunglasses had been removed, showing the true depths; the depths that held, what she could only describe as pure pain.
"It's the one thing in my life that I think about almost more than anything else." He pictured the day he had received the order, how sick he had felt. The doctors were always so nice to him. "As much as I tried to reason with your father, he would not listen to me."
Winry's father had been much like his daughter, from what Roy could remember. He was strong willed, smart, but stubborn. "I had tried a lot to talk to him. I even asked your mom to reason with him…The two of them, just couldn't bear the thought of turning their backs on the injured, even if they were from the other side."
Winry was so full of mixed emotions, that she didn't know what to do but listen. She had always been so curious as to what had happened, but to hear how close Roy had been to her parents, she had no idea. She had no idea that he had cared and tried to help them.
He continued. "Finally, the higher ups had gotten wind of what was going on with them. The men they were treating were coming back and killing our troops. They couldn't allow it to go on anymore." He closed his eyes and recalled the entire event to her, as if it had been yesterday.
There had been a meeting that her parents were kept out of. Some of the other officers had tried to plead their case for why they wanted the doctors unharmed, but there were more who weren't willing to hear it, which had been injured by the enemy that they were helping. Ultimately, their fate had been decided, but it had not been Mustang who had been ordered to carry out the deed.
"I knew the man they had asked, and how sadistic he was…I knew that he would enjoy doing it too much and that he would hurt them more than necessary."
Winry's eyes widened, water seeping into the sides of them. She knew what was coming. She knew what he had done and why. And from the look on her face, Roy knew that she had pieced it together as well.
"I went to talk to them one last time, and told them what had happened. They still refused. I couldn't even convince them to run away with my help."
Her lips trembled. "….So….to spare them….you..."
"…I handled it, before he could ever get his hands on them…"
The silence between them was deafening. She couldn't even begin to imagine what to say to all of that. She had made so many assumptions in the past about him; had judged him so many times and here she was, proven wrong. Years of thinking the worst about him at times, wrong. She thought his interaction with her friends had been his only redeeming factor.
The moment was ruined as the waitress returned and set a plate in front of Roy. She refilled both their coffees before disappearing again with a smile and worried glance in Winry's direction. He must be breaking up with her, she assumed, leaving the pair alone once again.
Roy looked at his plate, his appetite suddenly nonexistent. "If that was all, I'd like to get back to my lunch and shopping," he said. This moment needed to end. She had gotten her answer and now he really needed her to leave him.
Winry's mind was working a mile a minute and was showing no signs of stopping any time soon. She wished more than anything right now that someone could tell her how to process all of this information. She'd never said it before, but she sure wished Amaya was around to talk to her right now. She needed a friend with her at the moment.
What was she supposed to do with this information? He hadn't saved her parents from death, but he had saved them from suffering at the hands of another. He had sacrificed his own sanity to give them a peaceful and quick rest. He had done something for her parents that she knew she would have never been able to do in his situation. Roy Mustang had basically sacrificed himself and lived with this nightmare for who knows how long, so help them.
Did that change how she viewed him? Did it make him a friend to her now?
For reasons that she couldn't even fathom, Amaya's comment popped into her mind. "You could just have a friend with benefits."
She shook her head. This was a hell of a time to think of something like that. Though, was it really such a bad idea? Mustang was…removed from her inner circle. Anything between them could be platonic, like Amaya had said it should be. He showed zero interest in her on a regular and she was sure he would not get attached.
Winry knew it was too soon. She knew that this was risky. She knew that maybe she was just caught up in the emotion of the moment and making a rash decision.
Roy eyeballed her, sensing the inner turmoil. She looked like she was having one hell of a battle with herself and he couldn't blame her for however she was feeling. He could only imagine finding out that something you thought was true for years was actually wrong and the person you hated wasn't what you expected. Actually, she had never she hated him, had she?
"Look, maybe you should go and…"
"I-I have something I want to ask you," she cut him off.
Her mind was reeling. She could not believe she was about to ask this. What would he think of her? Did she care? Would he tell? Roy set his drink down and gave her his full attention. Oh how she wished he would at least look away or something. At least not looking him in the eye would make this seem more...normal? What was she thinking? This stopped being normal the moment she came to the decision to ask.
"Go on." Roy urged once she had been silent for too long. He could feel the tension in the air, but it felt different. What did she want this time? Why was he even giving her the chance to ask? He had told her only one question.
This decision was completely out of character for her. It was last minute, not thought out, and possibly going to blow up in her face. But if not him, then who?
"…I…" Winry swallowed. "I would like to make a…deal…of sorts with you."
Roy's brow arched. What type of deal could she want? Especially with him!
"I want us to be friends."
"…Friends?" That sounded harmless enough. Why was she having a heart attack over this? Of course she would want to be friends after finding out she had the wrong impression of him. He could understand that reasoning easy enough.
"Yes…Friends"
She looked like there was more she needed to get out "…Is that it?..."
"…With…benefits"
Ok everyone, I want all of your honest opinion. Review and let me know what you think about the change ups I'm doing. I really want to know what everyone thinks and I'm trying my best to keep everyone still as in character as possible.