Chapter 36: Miura Yumiko Arc: Incident III

"You have no right, Yumiko!"

"Don't speak to me like that, Ai."

Hachiman Hikigaya had never seen her this mad. Either of them. Though Ai Hayasaka was doing her best to keep her composure, there were cracks showing up on her calm, collected façade. Meanwhile Yumiko Miura was going at it with all guns blazing, seemingly forgetting that she had come up here in the first place to avenge her roommate's supposedly hurt feelings.

"What kinda sick, twisted pleasure do you get listening to me talk in my sleep." Ai Hayasaka asked. "I thought you were the normal one, but no! It seems like his creepiness is rubbing off on you."

Ai Hayasaka pointed at Hachiman Hikigaya. The later took a little bit of offense from her statement. He had feelings too you know.

"Don't call me a creep. You are the creepy one who talks in her sleep."

"Not saying I agree with you or that I sleep talk, but let me tell you, sleep talking is a completely normal phenomenon."

Miura scoffed. "The only ones who I have heard talking in their sleep are little kids who have scary nightmares."

"Are you calling me a coward?" Ai Hayasaka went deadly quiet.

Hachiman Hikigaya decided it was time to create a diversion. He looked at Kaguya Shinomiya who was holding the hand of the president who was slowly stirring on the large table and gradually regaining back some of his consciousness.

"Shinomiya-san, you are holding the president's hand," Hachiman Hikigaya didn't know the hidden meaning behind what he said next. "How cute."

There was almost an audible snap. Two necks turned in quick succession. Kaguya Shinomiya turned to the side to look at Hachiman Hikigaya, the soon to be dead man whose body would be buried in an unmarked grave. Meanwhile, Miyuki Shirogane looked up, straining his neck and even though he caught the horrifying gaze of his vice-president, he couldn't help but smile in victory.

"Shinomiya, you nursed me back to health."

He needed to say it out loud. Say it using his own words. Not use the words of an upstart loner to achieve this milestone. He had won and she had lost. Now it was time to rejoice.

But first, "How cute- khak!"

Kaguya Shinomiya knew a special martial arts technique which had been passed down her family for generations. There was a spot, behind the neck, which if applied the right amount of pressure could render a person unconscious. It also worked even if applied a lot of pressure, something one might do while being frightened of some small embarrassment or huge humiliation.

Kaguya Shinomiya didn't want to be humiliated. She didn't want to lose this war. And if that meant hurting the person she loved- I mean, rendering the person unconscious by applying a small bit of pressure in the back of the neck, you can bet she will do it.

"What the hell did you do?" Hachiman Hikigaya asked.

"What do you mean?" Kaguya Shinomiya didn't look at him. She patted Miyuki Shirogane in the head a couple of times in a comforting gesture and then went on to correct his sleeping posture. Yes, that's right. He was sleeping.

"You clearly knocked that man unconscious." Hachiman persisted.

"I did no such thing."

Kaguya Shinomiya pretended to look shocked. She looked at Miyuki Shirogane with something close to affection, a look you wouldn't generally see on her face. It was also not the kind of face an attacker should have towards the attacked. This was really starting to look sick and twisted.

"You clearly did." Hachiman argued.

Yu Ishigami put a hand on his shoulder with all the knowledge of a man who has been defeated in life and lost the same war hundreds of times. He didn't want to put his fellow man through the same ordeal. "Hikigaya, don't make things worse. Learn to pick your battles."

"What do you mean?"

Ishigami jerked a thumb towards the other side of the room. "Look there. Hayasaka looks like she is contemplating murder. The next time Shinomiya-san orders her to kill you lot, she won't hesitate. You might want to do something about that."

Hachiman Hikigaya didn't know what to do. According to him, Yumiko Miura was in the wrong. You don't eavesdrop on your roommate's conversation and go about your day trying to get in their business and solve their problems.

On the other hand, he hadn't experienced people talking in their sleep. Thank god for that. It was the only time he would be thankful for having, Ryuuji Takasu as his bunkmate. Wait a second – that's it. The boy's dorm had bunk beds.

"You two are bunkmates." Hachiman Hikigaya said. Then to further prove his point, he asked. "Who's on bottom, who's on top?"

"I thought they weren't sleeping together." Ishigami asked. "Now you are asking about their sexual positions."

Chika Fujiwara whacked him on the head with her newspaper bat. Hachiman Hikigaya wanted to thank her profusely. But first,

"Yumiko sleeps below." Hayasaka said. "She's afraid of heights."

"I'm not afraid of heights." Miura protested.

"Right, you just think you will fall on your ass when you get up at night to go for a piss."

Hachiman didn't need to know that. Miura thought the same. With lightening speed, she snatched the newspaper bat from Chika Fujiwara and hit Hayasaka across the head. Someone in the room gasped. It was Kaguya Shinomiya.

Shit just got real, Hachiman thought.

"And you take the bed above me because you like to look down on the rest of us."

Yumiko Miura shouted out those hurtful words and then threw the newspaper bat away. It sailed across the room and hit Miyuki Shirogane right in the forehead. The poor man grumbled and woke up with a start. He didn't remember what happened a few moments ago. It was a dream right, a horrible dream.

Oh no, wait, this was still happening.

"Is this about the time I told you Hayato doesn't like you." Hayasaka murmured. "Is this some kind of payback? I tell you the truth, ruin your child like fantasy, so you come into my world and try to ruin what I have."

"That's the thing, Ai. You have nothing." Miura said softly. "If you think listening to the words of a self entitled, pompous know-it-all princess is everything, then you have nothing. If you think carrying out her orders, being her puppet, granting her each and every wish, no matter how insane, how idiotic, how moronic it sounds, is having something, then you have nothing."

Ai Hayasaka looked at her coldly. "You wouldn't understand. It won't go through that thick head of yours, what I do and why I do it. I would rather save my breath."

"Then make me understand."

Ai Hayasaka looked down. "It's all I know."

"I can't accept that." Yumiko Miura looked sympathetic to her plight. "You are better than this. You are my friend."

Ai Hayasaka looked at her supposed friend. Then she looked at Kaguya Shinomiya. Nothing needed to be said. She knew where her loyalties lied. But she felt sad to make this difficult choice.

"What good does it do?" Ai Hayasaka asked in a whisper. "Being your friend, what good does it do? Back in our first year, when you first told me that you had a crush on Hayama, I told you he wasn't good for you. But you didn't listen to me. This year you started dating him and yesterday you broke up with him." She gave her a look. "You didn't even last a month."

Miura tried not to look like it hurt, to have these words thrown back at her face. She had confided in Hayasaka, told her about her break up and she had listened to everything she had to say like the good friend she was. But now she was being a bitch.

"Well, at least I confessed to him and went out with him because I liked him." Yumiko Miura threw a glare at Kaguya Shinomiya. The later didn't even flinch. But what was said did have an effect on her. "I didn't decide to go after a guy and make him fall in love with me, because some uppity bitch told me to do so." Then with more vengeance, she added. "I'm not like you."

"I am well aware of that." Ai Hayasaka said. "And if you call Kaguya-sama any other ugly names, I can promise you I will forget that you are my friend and I will do the thing I should have done when I first entered this room."

"And what is that?" Miura asked.

"Throw you out the window." Ai Hayasaka replied coldly.

The two friends had reached a stalemate. Neither of them were budging. The room had fallen unbearably quiet. However, someone had been listening to the conversation that was taking place and this time he decided to let himself be known.

"You are Haysaca-chan." Miyuki Shirogane said. Things were slowly starting to fall in place. Realization dawned on him. "You are the woman who I rejected in the bookstore!"

Ai Hayasaka blushed. But in the end she put up a defiant face. "It's whom, not who. Seriously president, you are slipping. If you keep this up, Kaguya-sama will beat you to the first place."

"Now who's slipping." Miyuki Shirogane asked rhetorically. "We are not in the same class. We even have different majors. But you are right to an extent. She hasn't been able to defeat me even in some of our common electives."

This has been a long, troublesome day. Ai Hayasaka wanted to have a nice, long soak in the bath house, floating on top of a deck chair, listening to some calm ambient noise fill the silence of the otherwise empty space. She really wanted to be left the hell alone.

"Hayasaka," It was Miyuki Shirogane. And from the looks of it he had the million dollar question to ask. Unfortunately, she wouldn't have an answer for him. "Why did you confess to me that day?"

Kaguya Shinomiya looked at Ai Hayasaka. She didn't say anything. Ai Hayasaka looked on helplessly. Yumiko Miura wanted to come to her friend's side and hug her and tell her that she didn't owe anyone any kind of explanation, not even the president of the campus.

She also wanted to tell Miyuki Shirogane the truth, even though it meant betraying Ai Hayasaka's trust. But Yumiko Miura would do it. She was strong enough to jeopardize her friendship, even lose it, if it meant Ai Hayasaka would be in a better place, somewhere more secure and safe, where she didn't have to listen to the commands of a crazy woman.

So what if Kaguya Shinomiya fires her. Ai Hayasaka was a capable woman. She could land another job easily. This was all for the best. After all, nothing could be said or done. Ai Hayasaka had to come clean. She had to tell the truth. It was how it was supposed to-

"She confessed to you because you are a likeable person, president."

Hachiman Hikigaya knew what needed to be said. Truth was the last thing that was needed to be said at the moment.

"You can't fault her for having a crush on you and then acting on her feelings at a moment of impulse. She probably wasn't thinking about your response." Hachiman Hikigaya carried on. "Maybe she just wanted to say it out loud, take advantage of the moment she had. It's not like you two meet each other often on campus. So she took her chance and failed miserably. However that is not the important question." Hachiman paused and then let out a world weary sigh. "I think as someone who has been rejected before, I want to know this more than anyone else." Rotten dead fish eyes meet a couple of sleep deprived, dark blue eyes.

"Why did you reject her, president?" Hachiman asked.

Miyuki Shirogane blinked. No, this couldn't be happening.

"Yeah, president, why did you reject her?" Chika Fujiwara asked.

"Why indeed." Kaguya Shinomiya said. "Could it be that you have someone you already like?"

Yumiko Miura was confused. "What is going on?"

Ai Hayasaka quickly got into action. She grabbed Yumiko's hand and ushered her out the door as fast as humanly possible. Hikigaya was already there, keeping the door open, one foot already out. Such a gentleman, Ai Hayasaka thought, half-sarcastically.

To Miura, she said. "You need to stop acting like a godamn saviour to women around the campus. Just because you were dumped by a blonde douche bag, doesn't mean every blonde guy here is an asshole who deserves an ass-whopping from you." She looked at the rotten dead fish eyed loner who had saved her relationship with both her friend and her mistress.

Then, just because she could, "What would you do if Hikigaya dyed his hair blonde?"

Hachiman made a face of pure disgust. "Thanks for that awful image, Hayasaka."

Miura thought about saying something else, but she had to admit the truth. Hikio couldn't cut it as a blonde. However, she had more important things to discuss.

"We good?" Miura asked.

"We'll talk." Hayasaka came outside to bid them farewell. "I'll bring beer. I have a feeling the both of us can't have this conversation sober."

Miura balked at the suggestion. She thought about her other two roommates. "I'm fine with it, but what about Maka and Mikoto."

Maka Albarn was a stickler for rules and Mikoto Misaka wasn't old enough to drink alcohol, legally. To this, Hayasaka had one thing to say.

"Fuck them."

"Ai!" Miura looked affronted.

Hayasaka shook her head. She felt grateful for having Miura as a friend. She was also grateful for having Hachiman Hikigaya as someone on her side. While showing them out, she had one last thing to say. She waited until they reached the elevator, waited till the door opened, waited till the two of them stepped into the elevator and then,

"You know, Hikigaya saw be naked." Ai Hayasaka said with a wink. Then as the elevator door was closing on their horrifying faces, she could hear Yumiko shouting at him at the top of her lungs.

"Hikio, you saw her naked!"

"She was in a bathing suit. For God sake!" Hachiman Hikigaya pleaded, putting his foot down and stopping the door from closing. "Is this how you repay me, Hayasaka?"

Hayasaka blew him a kiss. "Bye-bye, Hikki."

Maybe she should take him out for drinks too, she thought when the two of them left the building. Seriously, if she wanted, she could make Hachiman Hikigaya fall in love with her.

Hmm, now that's an interesting thought.

A/N: Thus concludes the Kaguya-sama: Love is War Arc. Hope everyone enjoyed it.

Now here are the options for the next arc:

Option 1: Miura x Hachiman x Shouko Nishimiya.

Option 2: Miura x Hachiman x Yuigahama.

Option 3: Miura x Hachiman x Rio Futaba.

Option 4: Miura x Hachiman x Eru Chitanda.

Option 5: Miura x Hachiman x Kurumu Kurono.

Please pick any of the above or suggest a character in the review.

Hope everyone enjoyed reading this chapter.

Leave lots and lots of reviews, follow and fave.

Won't betray your dreams.