"Excuse me, do you like- carry gluten-free bread?" I hear a familiar voice ask as I sweep out bread crumbs from the oven. "Ugh! How the hell did you find me?" I question once I turn around and see her standing there.
Sugar clicks her tongue and slips her sunglasses off. "I'm Sugar 's nothing I can't do. Well, that and there's only four sandwich shops in this whole town."
"So you went to all of them until you found me?"
"This is actually the first one I checked out," she says as she eyes the meats and toppings on display. "It's really not fair that you told Brittany where you work and didn't tell me."
"That's because I knew you were going to come bug me. But I'm actually kind of glad you came by. It's been super slow today."
"Well you're very welcome, and I didn't come to bug you. I come as a paying customer who wants a whole grain sandwich, so giddyup!"
"Giddyup? Really?" I say, moving towards the breads.
"Gloves, please," Sugar directs before I get my hands on a loaf of bread.
I roll my eyes and slip on a pair of disposable gloves. "What kind of meat would you like?"
She thinks about it. "I don't know; you're the Sandwich Lady. Just make it as Lean Cuisine as you possibly can. No fatty stuff."
As I begin stuffing the bread with toppings, I ask, "Have you heard from Brittany today? I texted her this morning but she hasn't replied."
"Um… yeah. I… kinda heard from her…" She mumbles. "Can I get some anchovies in there? I love those."
I do as she asks but push my question further. "So you did hear from her?"
Again, Sugar says a few muffled words then asks for light mayo.
"Why are you mumbling? You sound a freakin' zombie." I look up at her. "Have you talked to her or not?"
She sighs. "Yes, I did. And she's pretty down. She told me something that you don't know about and I don't know if I should tell you cause if she didn't tell you then it's because she doesn't want you to know and trusted me to not tell you, and I would hate to break our trust sooo…" She explains, running out of breath.
I give her a blank stare for a few seconds. "You obviously have to tell me now!"
"Santana," she whines. "Don't put me in that position."
"Is it something bad? Is she okay?" I ask.
"Yes, she's okay but it's kind of personal, so I'd rather she tell you."
"Just tell me! I won't say anything to her about it. I swear." I hold up her wrapped up sandwich. "Free sandwich if you tell me," I tease.
"You really think I'm going to betray my friend's trust for a free sandwich?" She asks, disgusted.
"I'll throw in a free chocolate chip cookie."
"Deal! Wait, no!" She shakes her head. "Santana, stop. I'm not going to tell you."
I groan with frustration and bag the biggest chocolate chip cookie we have. "Your food is on me either way."
"Aw, thanks!" She pulls the cookie out and takes a bite.
"I just don't get why she told you and not me." I comment.
"I'm her friend too!"
"Yeah but..." I shrug. "I don't know."
My sadness and disappointment must be evident because Sugar begins to look guilty. "Maybe she didn't want to worry you?" She offers, trying to make me feel better.
"Yeah, I guess."
"I mean… She never told me not to tell you."
I look at her, hopeful.
"I'm just assuming she doesn't want you to know since she didn't tell you, but I think you'd be able to lift her spirits if you knew," she says.
"Okay. So tell me," I blurt.
"Well…" She hides her cookie back in the bag. "It might not seem like a big deal to some people but it is to her."
"Stop making it so damn suspenseful and just tell me!" I order.
"Okay! Okay! Geez." She takes a deep breath. "As you know her parents have been separated for a while, but things were looking good for the past few weeks. It seemed as if her dad was going to move back in, but then yesterday he got into a huge fight with her mom and I mean huge. Like her dad has a bad temper so he ended up braking lamps and stuff. And now it seems like they're getting divorced. I mean, Brittany told me that's what they were yelling, but who knows. Maybe they just said it because they were mad. But anyway, Brittany's kinda shaken up and sad about the whole thing. She always hoped they'd get back together."
I begin pulling out my phone and Sugar asks, "What are you doing?"
"I'm going to call her."
She snatches the phone out of my hand. "You can't call her! I still don't want her to know that I told you."
"How am I suppose to comfort her then!"
"Just…" She looks around. "Casually show up at her house and deliver some sandwiches to her."
I scowl.
Seriously," she chuckles. "Make her a nice sandwich and take it to her. Don't mention anything about her parents. She sounded pretty down on the phone, so I don't think she'll be able to hide it; you can ask her what's wrong then."
"That's actually a pretty good idea. I think I'll do that."
/
When my shift is done, I hurry straight to Brittany's house. I feel as if showing up without giving her a heads up might not be the best thing to do, but she's showed up at my place unannounced before so maybe it's not such a big deal. Except, of course, my parents weren't going through a divorce when she showed up. Before I over think things to the point of regret, I park my car and head to her front door. She answers it after three knocks and seems surprised to see me which worries me because it's not her usual happy surprised but simply surprised.
"Santana," she glances back into her house then closes the door slightly as if wanting to block my view. "What are you doing here?"
"I just got out of work and made us some sandwiches," I say with a smile while I hold up the sandwich bag for her to see. "But I'm aware that I came unannounced, so I can go if this is not a good time."
"Um… No, it- it's-" she stutters. "Just give me one minute, okay?" Before I say anything, she closes the door and I'm left outside, waiting. I hear some shuffling and moving come from inside, then Brittany opens the door again, wider this time, and motions me to come in.
I step inside and try to keep my scanning of her place to a minimum. I do, however, notice that her living-room TV is missing and so are most of the decoratives. Her dad definitely broke more than just lamps. Brittany silently leads me to her room and closes the door behind us.
"Did you want to eat now?" I ask.
"Uh…No. I'm not very hungry," she says as she begins clearing her floor from clothes and pillows. "Thank you though," she adds.
I watch her make her bed as I stand awkwardly near her desk. "Need help?"
She shakes her head. "I'm sorry about the mess. I just haven't had- I couldn't…" she trails off as if she doesn't know how to finish her sentence. She finishes making her bed then offers me a seat.
"Are you okay, Brittany?" I finally ask.
"Yeah. Why?"
I shrug. "You seem a little scattered."
She sits next to me and clamps her hands between her legs. "Sugar told you, didn't she?"
"What? No." I pause. "Told me what?"
"Santana," she warns.
"She only told me because she's worried about you and wanted me to talk you about it," I explain.
"I should have known she wouldn't be able to keep her mouth shut."
"Brittany," I say, surprised. It's not like her to be resentful. "She was trying to help you."
She sighs. "I know."
"Why didn't you tell me? I could have come over sooner."
"I don't know," she says, almost in a whisper. "I didn't want to bother you. I knew you'd worry."
"You could never bother me, Britt. Yes I worry but that's because we're friends. Friends are suppose to take care of each other, right?."
She gives me an upside down smile and a single tear rolls down her flushed cheek.
"Britt," I hush. "It's going to be okay, you'll see. They'll fix things."
Her crystal blue eyes look into mine. They look just like they did years ago when I told her she couldn't be my Valentine because we were both girls. What an idiot I was.
"I don't think they will this time," she says as a few more tears flow down her face. I softly wipe her cheeks with my thumbs, and she leans towards me until she's resting her head on my shoulder.
"Just give it time, Britt. Things will get better. Sometimes bad things have to happen in order for good things to come." I say as I gently rub her back.
You think so?" She asks, and breaks away enough to look at me in the eye as if wanting to make sure I believe what I'm saying.
I nod once and notice how her eyes have taken on a different kind of blue, one which I'd enjoy very much if it weren't for the circumstances. Her cheeks are colored pink and I can't help but lean down and kiss one of them. When I pull back, her eyes pierce into mine and I hold her gaze until her tongue distracts me by discreetly peeking out to lick her lips. Feeling encouraged by her action, I move forward and give her the smallest, softest kiss. So small and so soft, that anyone watching us would question it actually happening.
As my lips hover millimeters from hers, my breath is put on hold while I feel hers run over my lips like a warm breeze. Seconds begin to feel like long minutes, so when I find there is no immediate reaction from her, I begin to pull away. However, to my pleasant surprise, she follows me, her eyes closed and lips slightly open.
I watch her still face for a moment, wondering what I should do next, but my instinct quickly takes over and I press my lips against hers. Her mouth lightly latches on to mine and I feel a tingle run down from my chest to my pelvic, forcing me to inhale loudly. Her hands slip out from between her knee caps and carefully land on the nape of my neck. I can feel her fingers digging into my neck and her mouth moving against mine. And just as I begin to feel myself drift away by the feel of her soft, thin, and incredible lips, she suddenly breaks them away from me. "I'm sorry," she whispers as she rests her forehead on mine.
"It's okay," I whisper back out of habit.
She pulls back completely and tucks her hair behind both ears. "I'm sorry," she says again. "I… I don't," she chuckles, nervously. "That was weird." She finally looks up at me and her eyes are no longer teary but they still hold a special kind of gloss.
"Was it?" I ask and add a smile to make myself seem playful. "Was it weird because I'm a horrible kisser?" I joke.
"No, no," she quickly says. "But you know… We're friends."
"Right." I nod.
"Things won't get weird, right? I promise it won't happen again. It's just… I don't know. I was sad and you're so nice to me so I… I…"
"It's okay, Britt. We're good," I assure her. "I'm the one who kind of… kissed you first, so I should be the one apologizing."
Her cheeks quickly fill with more pink pigment and she lets out an awkward laugh.
"Are you at least feeling a bit better?" I ask, trying to make light of the situation.
"Yeah." She nods with a coy smile. "Embarrassed but feeling better."
I chuckle. "Well, good." I pull my cellphone out from my pocket and check the time as if I have somewhere to be. "I uh, I think I'm gonna get going."
"But you just got here. We haven't even eaten yet."
"I'll have to take a rain-check."
"It's because of the kiss, isn't it?" She asks.
"No, Britt. I told you, we're fine. I just had a long day with work and all. I kinda want to go home and sleep."
"Oh, okay," she says, somewhat disappointed. She walks me out from her room, through her living room, and out the front door, then says, "Thanks for coming. I do feel better now that I… you know, talked to you."
I smile. "I'm glad. Should I give you a kiss goodbye?" I joke as a last attempt at making her feel better.
She giggles awkwardly again, or maybe nervously. I really don't know anymore but I force out a tired chuckle. "I'll see you soon, okay?" I say.
She nods and holds up her hand in a goodbye gesture.
As I walk back to my car, I feel all expression disappear from my face and bring my hands up to my cheek as I wipe away my own tears.
/
A few days later, I find myself sitting at a restaurant having breakfast with an obvlious Sugar and a very quiet Brittany.
"I'm staaaarving! You'd think I haven't eaten in ages, but I had half a burrito like an hour ago. Honestly, I'm kinda starting to worry that maybe something is wrong with me. Maybe I have some sort of black hole disease in my stomach that is eating all my nutrients away…" Her eyes go wide in realization. "Maybe I grew a tapeworm!"
"You didn't grow a tapeworm, Sugar." I roll my eyes. "You've always eaten like you're training for a hot dog eating contest. If you had a tapeworm, it'd be so big by now that it'd be coming out of at least one of your ends."
"Okay, that totally just killed my appetite."
"Sorry for the wait, ladies," our waitress chirps as she approaches our table. "Here are your eggs benedict, veggie omelette, and who had the french toast with a side of the side of hash brown?"
Sugar raises her hand like an excited five year old. The waitress sets down the dish in front of her and she doesn't wait a single minute before digging in.
"I thought I made you lose your appetite," I tell her.
"I'm over it," she says between bites, and Brittany smiles at our exchange.
Brittany has been keeping to herself recently as a result of my also recent stand-offish attitude towards her. It's not like things changed between us. I mean, we still talk and stuff, but since we kissed, I've felt the need to put space between us because if I learned anything from what happened is that we are friends and nothing else. Sugar isn't yet bombarding me with questions about it because I haven't told her and apparently neither has Brittany, but she's bound to notice the change in our behaviour sooner or later.
"Brittany," Sugar starts, "I am all for you being healthy and all that, but you should indulge once in a while. Egg whites and veggies doesn't sound like a fun nor tasty dish."
"It's tasty to me," Brittany simple replies.
"Leave her alone, Sugar. She'll be outliving you by ten years thanks to her 'boring' dishes."
Sugar frowns. "Then she'll live fifteen more years than you. Look at what you're eating," she hisses. "That's a mound of cholesterol."
"I'm willing to give up a few years of my life for this piece of heaven on Earth," I say and fork some egg and ham into my mouth.
"Speaking of your life," she quips. "What were you doing yesterday? I called you like a million times."
"Oh, yeah. Sorry about that." I take a sip of my coffee and continue enjoying my breakfast.
"So where were you?" Sugar insists.
I shrug. "Out."
"You went out? With Brittany? You guys went out without me!"
"We didn't go out without you!" I glance at Brittany and notice how her attention is now focused on me.
Sugar's brow scrunches in confusion. "So then... you went out alone?"
"No I didn't go out alone. I have other friends, you know?"
"No you don't," she laughs. "You might know other people, but Brittany and I are the only ones you go out with."
She's beginning to annoy me so I unintentionally say, "I was at a friend's house."
"You mean Sandra?" Brittany asks, and I'm left dumbstruck by her sudden question.
"Not- Not that's any of your guys' business, but yes I was at her house."
Sugar gasps. "I knew it! I knew there was something between you two. What did you guys do? Did any… you know," she smiles. "Did anything happen?"
I scowl. "No, nothing happened!" At that Brittany avoids my gaze and gets back to staring at her food.
"So you're dating her?" Sugar asks.
"No. I mean, not really... I don't know. We were just hanging out."
"But if she were to officially ask you out would you say yes?"
"I don't know, Sugar."
"It's not like anything or anyone is holding you back, right?" She says as her eyes dart playfully towards Brittany. "Maybe you should ask her out yourself. What do you think, Brittany?"
"Oh…" Brittany says. She sets her orange juice down and keeps her eyes low. "Yeah, she should ask if that's what she wants to do, but…" She shrugs. "I don't know…" She looks up at me. "Do you think you guys are compatible?"
I pull a face. "Compatible? Well, I don't know. That's why you date someone, right? To get to know them."
"No, I know but… You've known her for awhile, haven't you? You should kind of have an idea by now."
"So what you're saying is," Sugar pipes in, "that you don't think they should go out. Interesting."
"Well, no- I mean, I'm not saying they shouldn't. I just think if something was going to happen between them it would have happened by now."
Sugar smirks at me.
"I don't think I'm making sense," Brittany adds. "If you want to ask her out then you should."
"I don't know," I say. "Maybe you're right. It has been a while since we met and she hasn't made a move. But on the other hand she was definitely flirty last night so maybe she wants me to make the first move."
"Well while you sort that out," Sugar says, quickly getting over and dismissing my dilemma. "I want to announce that my nonna's cabin is ready to be graced by my presence."
"Your what?" I ask.
"My presence," Sugar states.
"No, the other part."
"My nonna's cabin?"
"Yeah, that. What the hell is that?" I ask.
Sugar cocks her head in disbelief. "I know you don't get out much, but how can you not know what a cabin is?"
"I know what a cabin is! I mean that other word."
"Oh! Nonna? That's my grandmother."
"Her name is Nonna? I mean, I'm not judging. My grandma has pretty weird name too but…"
"Oh," she laughs, arrogantly. "My dear, naive Santana. Nonna means grandmother in the language of my motherland. Have you already forgotten I have royal Italian blood running through me?"
I roll my eyes. "So now you speak Italian?"
"No. I just know some words by default. It's an Italian thing."
"Right. So what were you saying about your Nono's cabin?"
She scowls. "I was saying that it's done getting repaired, so my nonna said I can use it while I'm on break from school. I was thinking we can go for the weekend. What do you guys think?"
"Yeah, I can use some fresh air," I say.
"Awesome! What about you, Brittany?"
Brittany nods. "Yeah, of course. That sounds nice."
"Yay!" Sugar claps, excitedly. "But I must warn you, this cabin is not as glamorous as what you're used to seeing from me."
"Oh, no!" I say, sarcastically. I look at Brittany and she gives me a small smile. This weekend will be great.
Right?