Author's note: Hello everyone! I hope you are all well. I am so very sorry for the wait, so as an apology I present you with the first half of the last chapter of this story. I know, I know, I've been saying "last chapter" for the last two updates, but I didn't want to keep you waiting any longer. So enjoy and I will have the second and final part up soon.

The thought of having Brittany sleep beside me every night is both thrilling and nerve-wracking. It's not like we haven't been sleeping on the same bed lately, but the difference now is that we both verbally agreed to sharing it, and not just for the night or till I feel better but for as long as we live in this little apartment we call home.

"What are you doing?," Sugar asks as she enters my room with a bowl of popcorn. "Don't tell me you're finally going to remodel this dump of a room."

"Maybe," I say, bringing down the last of the IKEA art I had on my wall. "Brittany and I are going to share my room now, so I'm taking down some stuff incase she wants to decorate."

Sugar pauses, her small fingers holding popcorn midway to her mouth. "Wait, you're going to share your room? As in share your bed?"

"Yeah," I shrug, pretending it's not a big deal.

"Why am I even surprised," She sighs. "Maybe now you two can keep from having sex on our couch."

I chuckle at the memory. "It was only one time. And there hasn't been much of that anyway."

Sugar's brow dips. "As in you haven't had much sex on our couch?"

"Nooo.. as in we haven't had sex," I say, turning away to pick up some clothes off the floor, "At all."

"What!" She screeches. "How is that even possible?"

"We just haven't."

"But it's you. And you've been… well, doing whatever it is that you're doing with her for months now."

"First off, I'm a little offended that you think I can't control myself."

"Can you blame me?" Sugar asks. "It's not exactly a secret that you like sex. So how is it that you haven't done it with Brittany? Are you seeing someone else?"

"No!" I growl.

"Then… does she not want to do it?"

I turn to her, a little offended. "Why would she not want to?"

"I just don't see any other reason why it hasn't happened yet. Do you not want to?"

"I do... I think."

"You think? It didn't looked like you were pretty sure when I walked in on you guys."

I sigh heavily and begin folding some of Brittany's shirts which I had washed earlier. "I want to. But, once we go there, once we cross that line, I feel like things will change. Heavy makeout sessions are one thing, but sex is different. Sex changes things."

"Does it change things with the girls you pick up at bars?"

"No but-"

"This is different," Sugar finishes. "Santana, let me ask you this; where do you think you two will be - say - a year from now?"

"I don't know," I answer, a little worried now that I'm being forced to think of the future.

"What happens if Brittany meets someone?"

I had never thought about that either. I had never thought about Brittany actually falling in love with someone else.

My chest contracts at the thought. "She's free to do whatever and whomever she wants. I'd step aside."

Sugar snorts. "Yeah, I'm sure you would. I can't believe how long this has been going on for. And I don't mean your friends with benefits thing or whatever, I mean this tug and pull you guys have between you. Why can't you just make it official? You're practically a couple."

"We're not."

"You're folding her clothes!" She yells out with an accusing finger pointed at me. "Not to mention the fact that neither of you have dated anyone else which I'm pretty sure that makes you um… what's that word? Oh yeah, a couple!"

I toss Brittany's last shirt on the neat stack I have built, suddenly not feeling up for it anymore. "We don't go on dates and we don't have sex. We're not a couple."

"Plenty of couples don't go on dates nor have sex. Mostly the married ones. It's like you skipped to being married to her."

"Oh, shut up," I huff, leaving her behind as I storm out the room.

"What are you so scared of!" Sugar asks loudly.

"Hey," I hear Brittany's voice greet as she comes in through the front door. She walks up to me and kisses my cheek. "What's Sugar yelling about?".

I wave my hand in disregard. "What'd you got there?" I ask, nodding towards the plastic bags she's holding.

"Oh, I brought some stuff to decorate."

Decorate? Had she already thought up ideas to change my bedroom? We hadn't even talked about it.

"Wanna help me?" She asks with a smile as she pulls out a pack of halloween spider webs. "I also got some bats to hang on the windows. And oh my gosh! Look at what else I found." She digs through all the bags until she pulls out a tiny doctor costume.

"A baby costume?"

"It's not for babies," she giggles. "Well, she's our baby but it's a cat costume. For Cam! She can actually be Dr. Camuti for Halloween!"

I take the outfit from her and examine it with a laugh. "Oh yeah, she's going to love wearing this," I say sarcastically.

"Did I hear you got some clothes for your guys' baby?" Comes Sugar's mocking voice.

I roll my eyes at her. She's doing what she did when we were in college, except instead of teasing me about liking Brittany, now she's teasing me about being in a relationship with her. How things change.

"Are you and Santana going to get matching costumes? That'd make a cute picture. You guys can be a complete family of doctors," she says, looking at me with a wicked smile.

"Ohhh, Santana, we should do that!" Brittany beams..

"No way. We have no reason to dress up anyway."

"You actually do," Sugar starts, "Nico is throwing a Halloween party at his place in two weeks and you two are invited."

"Really?" Brittany asks, her eyes wide with excitement. "I haven't been to a Halloween party since my first year in Cali." She looks at me. "We should go shopping for costumes!"

I groan. "I don't want to."

"C'mon Santana, pleeeease." She slides next to me on the couch. "We'll find you a real sexy costume. I know you like those," she says with a squeeze of my leg.

Sugar snickers nearby. "Santana's happy with a thong and bunny ears."

"I'm not in the mood for a party," I say with a glare aimed at Sugar.

"Oh." Brittany's face softens as if she's realized something. "That's okay. We can stay in and have some fun here. But… I don't know." She shrugs. "Maybe going out would make you feel better. You haven't gone out much since- " She hesitates, her eyes wandering off to the side nervously.

"It's okay. You can say it," I tell her. "My mom passed. It's fine. We don't have to tiptoe around it anymore." I sigh. "I guess I can look for my bunny thong."

Brittany's eyes light up. "You really have one?"

"No!" I laugh. "Not a bunny one, anyway," I say with a wink.

"Augh." Sugar rolls her eyes and walks away.

"So you'll go?"

"Yeah," I nod.

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure." This time I give her leg a squeeze. "We'll have some fun."

X

When I told Brittany she had full liberty of changing anything in my bedroom she smiled with a tilt of her head. And although thankful, she had denied my offer at first, saying it was perfectly fine the way it was. However, a few days later she found me in the kitchen, her face lit with a mischievous smile.

I eyed her curiously. "What's up?"

"I was thinking and I have an idea for your bedroom. Can I still make some changes?"

"Of course. What do you need?"

"Your laptop."

"My laptop?" I frowned.

"Yup."

"May I ask what for?"

"You can ask, but I won't tell you. It's a surprise," she chirped.

"O-kay. Well, you know where it is."

"Thanks!" She kissed my lips in a hurry and rushed off to find my computer.

That was two days ago.

"You can come in now!" Brittany announces from my room.

She had forbidden me from entering until she was ready, so in the meantime I had been browsing my computer trying to find out what she had used it for. The search history was exactly as I had left it, no clues there.

I set my laptop down on the coffee table and walk over to my room, curious to see what she has done.

"It's not a huge change," she says as I look around, "But I thought it'd be cool." Her hands fold in front of her. "What do you think?"

"I hope this doesn't sound too egotistical, but they're my pictures, so I think it's pretty fucking cool!" I say as I look around at the photos she's hanged on the walls. She had printed and blown up some black and white portraits I had taken and framed them in thick black frames.

"So you're not upset that I printed them without permission?" she asks.

"No, not at all. You actually picked some of my favorites."

"I bet people would pay for these."

"Really?"

She nods. "Especially the one with the sexy girl."

I chuckle and look at the portrait of the girl in the black dress.

"Who is she?" Brittany asks with curiosity lacing her voice.

"Just some girl."

She grins. "Liar."

"Okay, some girl I saw for a while. Do you really want to know the dirty deets?"

She shakes her head with a scowl. "Not a single one."

"I'd love to take her picture down and replace it with yours," I tell her, taking both her hands in mine.

"San…"

"Did you think I had forgotten?"

"I had hoped," she confesses with a chuckle.

"Well, I haven't. When are you going to let me photograph your beautiful face?" I ask softly.

Brittany grows even more visibly embarrassed as she tries to suppress a smile. "It's… weird when you talk like that."

"Like how?"

She meets my eyes but quickly shakes her head and waves my question off. "We'll take that picture soon, okay? But let's not hang it in here."

"In the living room then?"

"No!" She laughs. "We will hang it nowhere."

"Hm… So it'll be for my eyes only?"

Brittany's smile fades a little as she looks at me and nods. "Just for you," she says and pulls me forward for a kiss.

/

A few days later, I'm lying on my bed watching a re-run of what seems like the 100th season of Scandal when Brittany comes back from her evening run. She unzips her hoodie as she stares at the television, and I intently watch her peel off the sweaty muscle shirt she wears underneath. "Kerry Washington is super beautiful," she comments, kicking off her Nikes.

Not as beautiful as you, I think but hold back from saying it outloud and settle for agreeing with her instead. "Yeah. She's pretty hot."

Brittany crosses the room without another word and starts a shower for herself. She pulls the rest of her clothes off, not worrying about closing the bathroom door, and seconds later she's hidden behind the steamy bathroom glass.

The voices coming from the television begin to fade behind the sound of the showerhead and the thoughts in my head.

It's like you skipped to being married to her. Is Sugar right? I guess we do kinda act like a couple. Nico thought so, and he didn't even have to see me washing Brittany's clothes or sharing my bed with her.

When we first started doing this, I promised myself I wouldn't let it get too far, that I'd cut the strings the minute I saw them forming. That's what I always do. It's protocol. I'm good at it. But I failed this time, hard. I missed the moment I started getting attached to Brittany. If I look back, I wouldn't be able to pinpoint it, and I blame it on the fact that she's my friend, my best friend. I've always been attached.

Mallory was right. Brittany's the worst person I could have chosen to do this with. She's not a girl I met at a bar. I actually care for her… so much.

I'm falling for her and can't let it happen again.

When Brittany finishes her shower, I internally thank her when she decides to wear a towel around herself. The less of her skin I see the better.

"Have you seen my grey pajama shirt? You know the one with the pink elk," she says as digs through our dresser and what has now also become our shared wardrobe.

"I think I hanged it in the closet."

She opens up the closet and pulls the grey shirt out. "Thanks for washing it." She brings it to her nose and inhales deeply. "I love your fabric softener," she says before dropping her towel and slipping the shirt on.

I turn my my eyes away from her naked body and try focusing on the ongoing argument between Olivia Pope and Fitz.

"Hey, I was thinking maybe we can go look for those Halloween costumes tomorrow," she suggests. She finishes slipping on some pajama pants and pops open a bottle of body lotion.

"I'd like to, but I have to meet with a client tomorrow," I say, "But hey, we can go on our own right? Like, whenever we have time." I slide down on the mattress and under the covers, getting ready to go to sleep. "We don't have to always do everything together," I tell her, my voice a little softer this time.

Brittany looks up at me, her lips parted a few millimeters.

I think maybe she'll ask me to explain that last part again but she doesn't.

"Okay," is all she says. She finishes spreading lotion on her arms then nears the bed.

"I hope I can manage to stay away from those animal print thongs and fishnets," I joke in an attempt to make her smile. "I might have to call you to talk me out of it."

She exhales a tiny chuckle, but her lips don't remain curved for long.

"Do you want to watch TV?" I ask.

"No, I'm- I'm pretty beat." She says, fixing the pillow beneath her head. "Do you need your car tomorrow?"

"No, we're meeting at a nearby coffee shop, so I can walk there."

"Okay," she whispers.

She looks so angelic with her face scrubbed clean and her moist hair falling around her face. I want to lean down and kiss her so bad, but before I can even decide on it, she abruptly leans forward and kisses my cheek. "Goodnight," she murmurs before turning away and curling under the covers.

With a deep feeling of disappointment, I click the tv off and flick my night lamp off. "Goodnight, Britt."

/

After meeting with my client and booking my first gig in almost a month and a half, I decide to not head home just yet. Brittany was right when she said I haven't been out much, so I jump on the eastbound train and drop by the studio for a visit.

"Well, well, well, look who finally decided to show her pretty little face," Mallory says.

"How are you my dear ex-lover?"

She laughs. "What we were had nothing to do with love and you know it."

"Yeah, well, I thought you still deserved a little visit to remind you of what you're missing out on."

She raises an eyebrow. "Is that an offer?"

"You wish."

"I do, actually. How's the Best-Friend-Lover treating you these days? Any chance she has miraculously disappeared?"

"Nope," I sigh. "She's still very much here."

"You don't sound too happy about that. Let me guess, she still hasn't given up to you."

"There's nothing to give up," I tell her, "Plus it's not about that."

"Then what's it about? Do tell," she says, leaning forward from behind the counter. "I love Best-Friend-Lover lesbian drama."

I roll my eyes. "It's more internal drama than actual drama, but I don't want to talk about it."

"Fine," she quips with her palms raised in the air. "But we should catch up. What are your plans for today?"

"I have none."

"You've turned into a sad little lesbian, you know that?"

I actually do.

"If you stick around for a few minutes, I'll take you to lunch once I'm done here. What'd you say?

"Let's do it."

As promised, once Mallory's shift ends, she drives us to a cafe where I avoid talking about Brittany every time she subtly tries to pry into my drama.

"Geez, you're really not going to talk about this are you?" She asks after a few failed attempts.

"Nope, so drop it already."

"Fine," she chuckles. "But your secrecy only makes me want to know even more. Did you find out she has some kind of life long lasting vaginal infection? Is that why you haven't slept with her?"

I scow. "No! Jesus. You're disgusting. Why is everyone obsessed with sex? First Sugar, now you."

"You were once obsessed with it too. Don't you remember? Cause I do," she purrs with a wink.

I shake my head, annoyed. "I need to ask you for a favor."

"Oh?" She perks up.

"Not that kind of favor. I need to borrow the black backdrop you have."

"You're doing an indoor shoot?"

"Something like that. Can I borrow it?"

"Yeah, sure."

"Thanks. I'll pick it up some time this week."

"I have a better idea. How about we hang out at my place for a while, then I'll drop you and the backdrop off at your apartment."

A hang out with Mallory is never just a hang out.

"Maybe some other time, but thanks."

She shrugs. "Okay. Wait here, I'm gonna go pay," she says, holding up the check.

While she's away I pull out my phone and find a text from Brittany.

Britt: Hey just got home. What do u want for dinner?

For the first time ever I realize how domestic that sounds and cringe. I tuck my phone back in my pocket without replying.

"Ready?" Mallory asks when she returns to our table. "I'll give you a lift home."

"Actually, I think we can hang out for a while longer."

She smiles. "Cool. Let's go."

When we get to her loft, she offers me a drink which I gladly accept.

"What made you change your mind?" She asks as she pops the cap off a beer for me.

"I just don't want to go home yet."

"Huh. That's exactly what this super hot cougar used to tell me when she meant she didn't want to go back to her husband."

"It's not like that," I tell her. "It's not because of her. Well…"

"It's okay. You don't have to explain." She opens up a beer for herself and sits next to me on her bed.

"You really need to get a couch."

"Nah, my only guest doesn't visit me anymore."

I chuckle. "I'm here now aren't I?"

"Yes you are," she agrees with a smile. "And hey, I'm sorry I didn't go see you when you came back from Ohio. I don't really know how to behave in those situations. Plus I knew Brittany would be taking good care of you."

"It's okay. And yeah, she actually did."

"Either way, I know it's kinda late, but I'm really sorry about what happened," she says slipping her hand in mine. "If you ever want to talk about it, I'm here for you."

I nod. "Thanks, that's nice of you."

She tugs my hand a little and when I look up she pulls me into a hug. "I want to be your friend, Santana, even if I don't get the cool perks Brittany does."

I laugh and she pulls away, her smiling face a few inches from mine. "She's really lucky. And not just because she gets to have you, but because the both of you are full as a goog with love for each other"

"I- wait what? Full as what?" I laugh.

"As a goog."

"What the fuck is that?" I say, letting go of her hand. "Saying shit like that is what you have to worry about, not your accent."

"Full as goog. It's not an Australian thing. I've heard Americans say it."

"No you haven't," I say, shaking my head.

"Yeah I have. I swear it. Just the other day Brittany called me up and said she was full as a goog with mental images of you naked because you haven't let her pet your kitty."

I frown. "You're weird."

She smiles and takes a sip of her beer.

"So you didn't invite me over here to pet my kitty?" I ask.

"No. I know that's over."

She's right. I wouldn't have been able to go through with it, and it makes me a little mad.

"Wanna watch some Scandal?" She asks, reaching for her laptop.

"Uh, duh."

"I never get tired of it," Mallory comments. "Pope is a hottie."

"Yeah… She's beautiful."