A/N: So, yesterday when I posted the prologue I kind of had the first chapter already written, I just needed to re-watch the episode "Unto the Breach" to make sure I didn't miss anything important for the rest of the story. Now I've done it and I don't think I've missed anything important, so here it is!

Just to clarify: The prologue in the previous chapter takes place about 3 years before the story starts, which it does in this chapter.

The first lines of this chapter are borrowed from Logan's actual proposal in season 7, episode 21 "Unto the Breach" and so is the conversation between Paris and Rory later on in this chapter.

Some lines in a flashback later on are borrowed from season 5, episode 22 "A house is not a Home".

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"Rory Gilmore" Logan said slowly as he opened the small velvet box he held in his hands before her. "Will you marry me?"

Rory looked from the box to Logan and back again. "Um…um, wow" She turned to her side and let her eyes wander over the crowd standing before them, she met her mother's eyes staring back at her and tried to read the expression in them. They had none. She turned back towards Logan and the ring. "Um, wow. I—wow."

Logan bent his head down with a smile on his face, trying to catch her eyes. "Is there a yes in between those 'wows'?"

The room was completely silent as they all waited for her answer. She didn't dare to look at the crowd before them. A touch of disappointment due to Logan's choice of moment to propose flittered through her body; it was so impersonal somehow to do it front of all these people. But then again; Logan had always been one for making grand gestures.

She shook her thoughts away. "Yes." She whispered and a wide smile spread across her face as she looked up and met his eyes and repeated the word. "Yes, there is."

Logan smiled and threw his arms around her, lifting her up in the air and swirling her around. "I love you" He whispered as he put her down and crashed his lips towards hers.

Wow. She thought, unable to evoke any wordier thoughts. Wow. There was a myriad of feelings rushing through her body at light's speed, almost making her dizzy.

She could hear the crowd of people in front of them cheer, as if Logan just scored a goal in a game of football. No, she told herself, you're just being silly. In fact, proposing in front of all of her friends and family was actually a very sweet thing to do; to let them all be a part of this.

She looked around the room at the people cheering and smiling towards them. An uneasy feeling started spreading through her stomach as she met her mother's smile. No one else probably noticed anything, but no one else knew Lorelai the way Rory did.

Slowly, Lorelai made her way through the crowd of people towards Rory and Logan. "Congratulations" She said as she reached them and closed Rory in for a hug. A tight hug, too tight almost. "Or is it best wishes? I don't know, I always mix them up" Lorelai rambled on as she let go of her, still with a smile fixed on her face. Rory smiled back but felt her heart drop to the ground when she met her mother's eyes, confirming her suspicions: her smile didn't reach her eyes.

She looked at her mother and tried to make her eyes convey all those things she wanted to say. She wanted her to know that she was different now, that they were different and that it was okay for her as a mother to voice her concerns, if she had any. It was okay not to be thrilled about a life-turning event like this before you had had enough time to adjust to the thought.

"It's best wishes, Lorelai" Emily interrupted while cutting her way through the crowd. "You offer the bride-to-be your best wishes, you congratulate the groom. I'd think you should know that by now"

Lorelai rolled her eyes and smiled towards Rory behind her mother's back. This time the smile did reach her eyes and Rory returned it as her grandmother hugged her.

"I've had the servants bring champagne in, so in a minute we'd hopefully be having something to cheer in. I would have had the champagne waiting, if only I had gotten a hint on what's was going on here tonight" Emily said in direction of the couple, even though she was smiling she didn't really hide the fact that she was disappointed not to have been notified of Logan's plans in advance.

"I'm sorry Emily" Logan smiled and Rory could see her grandmother easing up when faced with his smile. "But you can't blame a man for wanting to keep his proposal plans secret"

Emily smiled back at him. "Of course not, Logan. Congratulations" She leaned forward and hugged him and then turned to Rory. "Best wishes" She hugged her again and Rory could have sworn she saw a tear of happiness in her grandmother's eyes before she turned around to make sure the servers had obeyed her orders and started bringing champagne and glasses out.

"Congratulations kiddo" Rory smiled as her father came up by her side.

"I think you're supposed to offer the bride best wishes" Lorelai said ironically while smiling towards him.

"Well, my best wishes then" He smiled towards Rory and then turned to shake Logan's hand.

"Silence!" She heard her grandmother's voice pleading over the crowded room. "If I could get everybody's attention I would like to propose a toast to Rory and Logan. Yale has yet again proved to be an excellent breeding ground for love" She smiled towards her husband. "To Rory and Logan" She raised her glass and met Rory's eyes with a smile.

"To Rory and Logan" A chorus of voices replied and several glasses were raised.

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Finally able to slip away from everyone offering her their best wishes Rory sneaked out onto the patio. If one more person wanted to hug her or shake her hand or not so subtly tell her what a catch she made by snaring the Huntszberger heir she would surely lose her mind. She needed to breathe.

She took a few deep breaths and spotted her mother standing a few feet away, gazing into the sky. For a split second she thought about leaving her alone with her thoughts, but then quickly decided against it and walked up to her.

"Hey" She said tentatively and placed herself next to her.

"Hey" Lorelai replied and shot her a quick look before returning to gaze at the sky. "It's a nice night" She added after a few moments of silence.

"Yeah" Rory said, following her mother's gaze. "Listen…" She said and turned her attention from the sky towards Lorelai. "…I don't want you to feel that you have to pretend to be happy for me."

A miserable look shot across Lorelai's face as she turned towards Rory. "I am happy for you, if this is what you want"

"It is" Rory nodded.

"Good. That's good." Lorelai nodded as well. "Then I'm happy for you"

Rory bit her lip and hesitated, but then decided that if they ever wanted to be as close as they once used to be she had to say what was on her mind. She had to let her mother know that it was okay to have opinions, that they had both matured enough to be able to handle not agreeing on everything, even on life-changing events.

"It would be okay, you know" She said while staring down at her hands in front of her. "…to not be happy about this. It is rather sudden, I would completely understand if you needed time to get used to the thought…to adjust. Especially after all that's happened between you and Luke and dad…" She saw the hurt in Lorelai's face as Luke's name was mentioned, but still decided to continue. "…and after what happened that time, with Jess…" She drifted off, waiting for her mother's reaction.

"I don't care if you love him! I don't care if he promised you the moon! Hell, I don't even care if he got you pregnant!"

"Mom!" Rory interjected.

"You're not dropping out of school!"Lorelai continued, having taken no notice whatsoever about Rory's protests.

"I already have!" Rory said and steadied her eyes to meet her mother's eyes.

"You're making a mistake" Lorelai shook her head.

"No, I'm not!" Rory argued. "This is normal! College kids take breaks like this all the time. You didn't go to college, so you don't understand" She knew it was a cheap shot and that her mother didn't deserve it, but it was true: she didn't understand.

"No, I didn't go to college." Her mother answered, her voice filled with held-back anger. "I wasn't lucky enough to go to college"

"Trust me, this is very normal" Rory tried to convince her mother. If only she could get her to understand that this wasn't forever. The dropping out part was just temporary, only until she and Jess could have a chance to figure everything out.

"No." Her mother's voice was stern. "You are not quitting Yale"

"Yes I am!"

"You're acting incredibly immature. And I know it's because you think you love him and that you think you'd lose him if you don't go with him, but you have to get a grip! This is too important! You've been working towards Yale your whole life"

"No. I was working towards Harvard my whole life"

"Okay, fine. Then go to Harvard. That's cool"

"I don't want to go to Harvard"

"Then go to Princeton or Stamford or Columbia!" Lorelai sighed and her voice sounded resigned as she continued. "Columbia is in New York, you could go there"

"No, I need time off. I'm still set on graduating from Yale, I just won't be doing it in the estimated time."

"If you leave Yale now, you'll never go back. You'll lose momentum."

"No. I won't. I'll still have momentum and I will go back. But I need to do this."

"I can't believe it" Lorelai shook her head again. "I can't believe he talked you into this; to giving up on your dreams."

Rory sighed. "I haven't given up on my dreams and he didn't talk me into this, in fact he told me it was my decision to make – and I've made it. I'm going with him to New York, whether you support it or not."

"Oh, I don't support it, and trust me if I ever get my hands on him, he'll regret the day he was born."

"Don't worry" Rory said sarcastically. "We won't be showing up for family dinners any time soon"

"Don't. In fact…" Lorelai continued. "…don't show up at all until you've set your mind straight and gone back to school"

"Fine!" Rory replied and they both stared at each other as in shock over how the conversation had escalated into a full-blown fight. They had never fought like this before.

"Fine!" Lorelai repeated.

"Fine!" Rory repeated as well while grabbing her bag and storming out of the house.

Rory watched her mother's face intently while waiting for her answer and for a split second Lorelai's smile disappeared as she drew her breath to say something. But she seemed to change her mind, as the breath hitched in her throat and she let it out without having uttered a word.

"I'm happy as long as you're happy" She finally said and Rory felt a sting of sadness over everything they had lost when she saw that smile on her mother's face again. The one that didn't reach the eyes.

.

"Twenty-three, twenty-four, twenty-five" Rory mumbled to herself as she lied in bed with Logan's sleeping body next to her.

"Twenty-six, twenty-seven." Who ever said that counting sheep was an effective cure for insomnia?

"Twenty-eight, twenty-nine" How was it supposed to work anyway? Were you supposed to actually picture the sheep or was it the counting that was the vital part?

"Thirty, thirty-one, thirty-two" In cartoons the sheep was always jumping over fences as they were being counted. Why were they doing that? Counting sleeping cheep would make much more sense.

"Thirty-three, thirty-four" Or at least sheep standing peacefully on a meadow, at least that was a soothing image. Jumping sheep made her think of exercise.

"Thirty-five" Well, exercise was supposed to make you tired, maybe that was the trick? To make you think about exercising and that way making you tired?

"Thirty-six, thirty-seven, thirty-eight" Why was it sheep by the way? Why not cats or pigs? Cats always slept, they seemed to be able to fall asleep almost anywhere.

"Thirty-nine, forty" Maybe it had something to do with the fluffy form of sheep, maybe they were supposed to remind you of a pillow? But cats could be fluffy too.

She stirred as Logan mumbled something in his sleep. She sighed and stroked his arm that was wrapped around her waist. Counting sheep wouldn't help her fall asleep tonight.

She stared up at the ceiling and it wasn't long before her mind drifted away to places she banned it from a long time ago. But tonight, with everything that was going on with her graduating from Yale and Logan's proposal, the thoughts of him seemed inevitable.

"It's not much" Jess said, looking slightly embarrassed as he opened the door to the apartment and held it open for her.

Rory didn't say anything as she followed him through the apartment, watching and listening as he gave her a tour.

"There's the kitchen" He pointed and she looked. "The appliances are rather old and worn-down, but I think they're all still working"

She nodded and took it all in.

"This used to be my room" He said without showing any emotions as he opened a door opposite to the kitchen. She looked in at it, it was completely empty and the color on the walls was starting to scale off.

She nodded again, still without saying a word and he started to look a bit nervous as he gestured towards the room they were standing in. "Living room"

She took it all in: the small couch, the TV and the books. She smiled. They weren't placed in shelves, instead they were stacked in piles on the floor, propped up against the wall. She suppressed the want to run over to them to see which titles he owned and how he had organized them, as he lead them towards yet another room.

"This is the master bedroom" He said and looked intently at her as she stepped into the room.

In contrast to the other rooms, this room looked almost cramped, but that was probably rather due to the size of the room than the actual amount of furniture in it as the only furniture were a bureau and a bed.

He waited a few moments for her to look around the room and the ventured back into the living room. "The bathroom is over there" He pointed towards a door next to the bedroom.

She nodded again.

"I know it's probably not what you're used to" He looked so insecure as he stood there in the middle of the room, trying to make excuses for the crappy-looking apartment he brought her to. "But I think it could be pretty good once we get some more furniture, Liz took most of them with her to Stars Hollow" He shot casted a glance at her before continuing. "And we could probably do some painting, it's not that expensive if you do the work by yourself"

She smiled. She couldn't help it, the happiness inside her was growing all too big, she needed to smile to let some of it out, there wasn't enough room in her body for all the happiness she felt. Yes – the apartment was crappy and unfurnished and in desperate need of a paint-job, but it was theirs.

"I love it" She said and she could practically see the weight lift off of his shoulders when she finally spoke. "I love it" She repeated and giggled. "I love it and I love you"

He smiled and moved closer to her. "I love you too"

She put her arms around his neck and kissed him softly. "I think we're gonna be very happy here"

Rory shook the memory away. That was all a long time ago, when they were still happy and in love. It hadn't ended as happy, she needed to remember that.

She snuggled up closer against Logan's warm body and tried to free her mind of all thoughts. This was right. He was right. Jess and her had been a mistake; they had been too young and too immature and it was obvious they weren't right for each other.

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"So have you thought about what you're going to say?" Paris asked as the girls walked towards the line of people waiting to step up onto the podium and receive their diplomas.

"What?"

"When he hands you the diploma. I can't decide between 'thank you' and 'thank you so much'"

"Oh"

"It's a significant moment, and I want to do it right. If I say just plain 'thank you', it sounds kind of casual, like he's handing me a slice of pizza. But 'thank you so much' sounds weird, like I'm acknowledging applause after singing a love ballad"

"I think I'm just gonna do a polite smile and a 'thank you'." Rory answered, as always amazed by the things that occupied Paris' mind. She could easily speak whatever was on her mind to complete strangers without being the least bit intimidated or even thinking about it twice, but she just as easily got hung up on trivial things, like whether to say 'thank you' or 'thank you so much' when getting handed your diploma. "Okay this is it" She continued and clapped her hands together as they reached the end of the line.

"Yeah. We've been drafting off each other since high school, and now it's each woman for herself. Who knows when we'll see each other again, right?"

"Paris, I haven't been able to shake you off all these years. We're gonna be friends for a very long time"

"You're gonna do such great things with your life, Rory"

Rory managed to smile at Paris' compliment, even though the echo of another, slightly darker, voice saying similar things rang through her head.

"You were meant to do such great things with your life. You weren't meant to be stuck in a crappy apartment with a crappy minimum wage job with a high school dropout. It wasn't right of me to ask you to give all those great things up to run away with me"

Rory's effectively yanked back from the memory of Jess' voice when Paris throws her arms around her and hugs her.

"Oh! Wow. Okay" She said and patted Paris' back, surprised at the sudden show of affection.

"Okay. G's, you're on the move!"A woman yelled as she walked by them, signaling that they were next.

Rory looked around her and spotted Logan standing with his friends at a distance. When noticing her head turned towards him he lifted his arm to a wave, she smiled and waved back at him.

"Unto the breach" Paris said as she stepped onto the podium.

Completely overwhelmed with the emotions of graduating, of having accomplished this huge thing, Rory could feel her eyes filling up with tears as she stepped onto the podium when her name was called. She had done it. She had come back. She hadn't lost momentum. She had graduated from Yale.

When having received the diploma she turned towards the audience, trying to spot her family when she heard someone call: "Yay, Rory!" She smiled through the burning tears as she spotted both of her parents standing up and clapping their hands. She met her mother's eyes and when seeing the pride in her face and the tears in her eyes she couldn't hold her own tears back anymore.

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"Why isn't Logan here helping us with these boxes?" Lorelai whined. "He's the one insisting on this move across the country, he should be doing the packing-stuff-into-boxes thing"

"Why do you have so much stuff?" Lorelai complained as they stood in the apartment Rory had shared with Paris, packing all her stuff into boxes. "And books" She held up a book as evidence before placing it in a box. "Books are so incredibly heavy when they're stacked together in a box. Why couldn't you have been interested in something not so heavy, like collecting stamps or something? Stamps aren't heavy. I mean you would have to have like an unimaginable amount of stamps for them to weigh this much" She moaned as she picked up a box and placed it in the pile of full boxes.

"Mom" The serious tone in Rory's voice made Lorelai's stamp v/s books rambling come to a halt.

"What is it honey?" She turned around to look at her.

"I-I kind of need to tell you something." Rory said while fidgeting nervously with her hands in front of her.

Lorelai walked up to her, with a worried look on her face. "Is everything okay?"

"Can we sit?"

"Sure" Her mother said and immediately dropped down on one of the boxes next to them.

Rory took a deep breath and sat down next to her. "Remember when – eh – when I – eh – dropped out of Yale?"

"Yeah." She stretched the word.

"You know me and Jess lived together. In New York."

"Yeah, I remember – vividly." Lorelai made a face at the memory.

"Well…we – eh – we…kind of…" She dreaded her next words, but she knew she had to say them, she had to let her mother know what had actually happened. "…got married."

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I know Lorelai's 'don't show up at all until you set your mind straight and gone back to school' probably sounded a bit OOC, but I figured it was more a 'heat of the moment' kind of thing than something she actually meant, but that they were both to proud to go back on their words at that moment.