A/N: In the last chapter I focused on Gaz gaining insight of why Zim is the way he is, and perhaps coming to know Zim better than he knows himself. This is in many ways part 2 of chapter 6.

Early in this chapter I will be writing in Gaz's recurring nightmare. I vaguely touched on it's existence in chapters 2 & 3. Just letting you know so you can recognize what it is and avoid some confusion. Since I have no idea what a girl's nightmare would be like, I've given it a vague CWZ feel since Gaz has been working so much on that game in the story.

After a few weeks I've decided to toss in a theme song for this chapter. I found a fitting video on YouTube titled ZAGR- To the Moon and Back featuring the song by Savage Garden. After seeing it, I added this little note to the chapter.

Thanks to Madiphan99 for your review. Its much appreciated!

Also no chickens were harmed in the writing of this chapter.

Gaz slammed the door to her house hard as she walked in. Stupid Zim, she thought to herself. Not that she was really angry with him. She understood his reaction and that Zim was over-responding to an unwelcome intrusion into his personal life. Just as he was excessive in nearly everything else he did. It was his nature to be over-the-top. She was just upset and didn't have a specific target to hurl it at. And anger was familiar territory for her, much more than sorrow was.

Dib was sitting in his light blue pajamas at the bottom of the stairs leading to the bedrooms. Not unexpected as it was almost eleven o'clock and his sister had just been quarantined inside an alien base being sprayed with neurotoxin. He had more than usual reason to be worried. It was annoying. Gaz did NOT want to deal with anything right now.

"Glad you're back," Dib greeted her. "You okay?"

"Peachy," was her only reply as she moved to the stairs.

Dib stood up, blocking her path. He made a quick examination of his sister. Her eyes were indeed red and puffy. Gaz was definitely not fine.

"No you're not," Dib stated. "I can run some scans. Figure out what Zim did to you…"

Gaz grabbed her brother by the collar and shoved him against the wall. "SHUT UP, STUPID!" she yelled. Gaz then let him go. "Just zip it," she nearly whispered as she headed up to her room.

Dib was still very concerned. "Please, Gaz. What happened? You're my baby sister. If something happens to you…" he dropped off.

Now that got through to Gaz, so she stopped at the head of the staircase and looked down at her worried brother. "Its nothing. Zim and I had a misunderstanding and he threw me out, that's all."

Dib just looked at her without comprehension. She knew his worry would not let it go at that and neither of them would get any sleep. "The base computer showed me some things concerning Zim I wasn't supposed to find out about. Not even he knows about this stuff."

Dib's anti-Zim curiosity peeked its head. "What did you find? Battle plans? New weapons development?" Another pause. "Any thing we can use against him?"

SMACK! Dib landed on the floor with the heaviest of thuds. He was now laying face first on the floor. As he pushed himself up, he felt a steel-toed boot planting itself on his back. It was not done lightly.

"Now you listen up real good, Dib, " came a growl from behind. "I will only say this once. I can't talk to you about this. You're his biggest enemy, and keeping Zim in the dark is the only thing protecting him. And I will protect him. You can't be trusted against the temptation to use anything to beat him because you don't understand."

Her foot lifted off of Dib's back, and Gaz crouched next to him. "I do, and I wish so much that I didn't. You know what kind of burden knowledge can be, Dib." She spoke in a hushed tone at this. "I need you to trust my judgment here."

Dib turned himself over and sat up. He did indeed know what kind of burden knowing something could be, especially when one didn't ask for it. Gaz continued. "Computer also showed me Zim's memories. Nothing held back. It was… personal, and that's when Zim caught me and told me to get out."

Gaz held out a hand and helped her brother back up on his feet. "You may be an expert on the Invader, Dib. But that's all you've ever seen. The invasive species. I know Zim the person, and I now know him better than he knows himself. Perhaps better than his own people. Never ask me to use that against him."

Something about that last sentence caused Dib to remember something Zim had said the previous Monday. "No. You don't do that too someone...who is not a stranger. Even Zim knows that would be vile."

No, Dib realized, Zim won't use what he personally knows of Gaz against her, and Gaz won't use deep personal knowledge against Zim. Even shield him from it if necessary. To do otherwise would be a violation of some unwritten code I don't know about, because I'm an investigator and a scientist whereas they are fighters. Some weapons you just don't employ against someone you know, not without drastic reason and as a last resort.

I fight against Zim because no one else can or will, but it's not who or what I am. I don't live in their world.

"Okay, Sis," Dib decided. Zim may be the most untrustworthy person he knew, but Gaz was utterly reliable. In fact that reliability was what made her so scary. Even when she was coming to bring wholesale doom to your very existence Gaz was nothing but reliable. "But I still have to stop Zim's plans."

"I know," came the smiling reply, "and I'm still not getting involved. But I will if you try to do anything too permanent to Zim, just like the times he's crossed the line against you. It goes both ways now."

Gaz was moving fast through the urban landscape, ducking past dumpsters, cars and other assorted obstacles found along a city street. Almost running, hunched over to keep a low profile while not slowing her down, and neither was she moving in a straight line. Danger was all around, as well as the animal call for panic. She could sense people around her, most scared and on the run. Others moving quickly and with purpose. Some of those were on her side, many others not. Bad events were happening all around her, but she never saw it as she swept through in her frantic search.

She sensed the impact of heat from sudden gusts of flame and the intent of small weapons. They were being pushed back, but Gaz was alone. One of her people was missing in the action and she couldn't leave that one behind. The weapon in her hands weighed nothing, and she never used it. It was just there as she ran forward and around corners. Gaz had no concern for herself, but she just had to find the missing. That need to find that person before disaster did and pull him/her out was overwhelming and consuming.

Nothing else mattered. She turned a corner, dodging hostile searchers she only knew was approaching, and ran harder. Her breath was heavy, heart pounding. Failure was extremely possible, even probable. Yet she could not afford failure. It was the one thing she couldn't afford.

Search after search yielded empty locations. Gaz was running out of time. She paid no heed to the sense of dangers around her.

"No! Don't Go!" she called out. "Call out to me. I'll find you!"

Gaz overturned empty boxes and obstacles where a wounded or incapacitated person might seek cover from the threats surrounding them.

"Don't leave me! I won't find you!"

But Gaz never could find the missing. No matter what she did or where she looked the missing stayed missing. Time did not matter and effort didn't alter the results.

Gaz awoke with a massive start yelling something unintelligible. She sat up in her bed, drenched in sweat and smelling of panicked stress. Her heart was practically jumping out of her chest and her lungs sucking in air as if none was left to breathe in. The soaked girl sat there for what seemed like a minute before she climbed out of bed.

The alarm clock was reading 4:21am and Gaz muttered to herself as she stripped her saturated bedding and carried it to the laundry. She really hated these nightmares, hated feeling like she had any weakness whatsoever. The dreams themselves weren't all that bad. There were no smells, sounds, touch, or even much in the way of sight. Mostly backgrounds you would expect walking along any street. No people either. It was the intense knowing and emotions that got to her. The sense of all those things being present was what made it seem so real.

These things were fairly rare but when she had one it could be powerful. And tonight's was by far the worst she'd had in a long, long time.

Dib stumbled in as Gaz was loading the washing machine, but he didn't say a word. He just turned around and returned a minute later with two of the largest glasses of water he could find. She guzzled both, dehydrated and returned the glasses without a reply. She knew she was a mess, and her brother offered no comment. Dib was there in case his sister needed him and Gaz never wanted to.

Gaz also never spoke about her nightmares, not to anybody. So Dib just offered what little support she would accept because feeling weak made her feel worse.

As the washing machine started, Gaz sat on the lid in silence. She pulled out her GameSlave and began to play. She wasn't getting back to sleep anytime soon. "Sorry I woke you."

Dib silently waved it off as if it were no problem. He was half asleep and leaning against the doorway.

Gaz didn't want to think, but her game felt empty, like it was missing something. She was very tired, but too wound up to rest. And deep down she knew why she had a nightmare. Part of it was the knowledge of tonight, another was the emotional stress involved. Gaz knew she had to make things right with Zim, but in a way that was equal to the perceived offense.

She hopped off the humming washing machine turning off the game and approached her brother. "You can go back to bed," she told Dib. "But I think there is something I need to take care of before I can turn in."

Dib eyed his sister. They lived in a good neighborhood and only about seven blocks from where she would need to go. Gaz could take care of herself around here, even at night. She didn't carry pepper spray or mace, but often a switchblade and brass knuckles in her boots. Gaz was simply not someone to mess with lightly. Dib simply nodded "All right, but you might want to wash up first." With that he went back to bed.

Gaz cleaned up and put on fresh clothes. Then she pulled the flesh-eating security dolls off of her shelves. She knew how she could even things up with Zim. However she didn't like it one bit. She was apprehensive but like she told her brother, she had to take care of this. Plus it was a nice night for a walk.

Zim walked home alone kicking at whatever loose debris was along his path. This had not been a good night in many ways. He had driven Gaz-zilla out first of all, which he had every right to. Then he learned that, while she had indeed trespassed with his computer, it hadn't been her fault. She had not hacked the system, and his human partner hadn't gone looking for secrets or anything like that. In fact most of what the computer showed her was things he would brag about had he had anyone to brag to.

Of course she wanted to know more about the AMAZING ZIM! Who wouldn't? If his mission wasn't so secret he'd probably have his own fan club right now. Yes, even though Zim did not make mistakes, he had overreacted a little bit. Unfortunately he did not know how to clear things with Gaz-zilla. Not without looking foolish after telling her not to return.

To top everything off, the test run of the hypno-chicken operation didn't go exactly according to plan. Most of the urban area was covered with buildings, and chickens had a way of wandering off of narrow sidewalks. That left the streets with enough room for the chickens to do their work, but only at night was traffic light enough to deploy them.

Unfortunately late Friday night proved to be the wrong time to send out his latest mechanism of conquest. Zim had not realized the bars were closing. Intoxicated motorists and wandering chickens did not mix well. Especially when those intoxicated motorists fell under hypnotic trances and forgot they were driving. The only results Zim had achieved were several dozen traffic accidents and about fifty arrested drunk drivers. Absolutely pathetic. The streets were now actually safer! Zim would seriously need to rethink his plan.

As Zim walked up the path to his front door he noticed something sitting on the front step.

Gaz-zilla!

"Hey Zim," she said. "Gir said you weren't home, so I waited out here."

She was wearing her black coat, sweat pants and her hair was mildly damp, but brushed. In her lap was a large square and metal plated object. Perhaps Gaz was going to squish Zim in those plates.

"I know I was wrong when I didn't stop Computer when I realized I was watching your memories. I know how you are about exposure, Zim, and I would have responded the same way. I told you I'd make it right, so here I am." Gaz lifted up the object in her hands and held it out to Zim.

Zim silently took it. It was two metal plates, hinged along one side with a heavy padlock on the other. Thick too. He also noticed Gaz smelled heavily of soap and traces of stress stink. He knew most humans including Gaz should be heavily asleep as it was nearly five in the morning, and not bathing this late at the night. Plus this could have waited until the sun was up as it wasn't exactly ultra-urgent. Did she have another nightmare? he asked himself.

Gaz produced a key and removed the padlock, sticking it in her pocket. "These are my memories, Zim. I went through yours, so you can go through mine."

And with that she walked around Zim and moved down the path leading to the street. Zim did not turn to watch her go, but entered his house and closed the door. He climbed on the couch to examine the object in his hand.

It was a heavy book with steel sheets riveted to the front, back and spine with small hinges connecting them and the locking pieces spot welded to the opening side. The whole construction said Gaz-zilla seriously wanted people to stay out of whatever was inside. Zim opened the cover and read the wording between the two skulls on the opening page.

Gaz's Diary

If you know this exists, its already too late.

This was not exactly encouraging for Zim, but Gaz had expressly given him this as a peace offering and expected him to read it. So he began. Zim did not really read most of it at first. It was typical useless annoying average girl writings about blah blah blah. It did not sound like Gaz-zilla at all. First he wondered if it was a fake, but that was really stupid. It was all happy and smiley with crude barely recognizable drawings of horses and hearts. And the handwriting was indeed terrible and so big. Looked like it was written in wax.

As he continued turning pages, it eventually toned down. And as the handwriting improved, the pages also got darker in color. Skulls had replaced horses. Ink replaced wax. Writings of happy events were replaced by the doom of annoying people. It was indeed the Gaz-zilla.

Zim had missed something important, so he went back to the beginning and read carefully, but quickly. It wasn't the individual details he was paying attention to. This book almost covered her entire life starting when she was a tiny smeet first writing, and there were many pages. But Zim saw Gaz's story.

It started out fairly average except for one element. Gaz had a mother. He knew this, but never questioned why a female parent was not present. After all the male parent wasn't present much either. But apparently that's not how it had always been. They had once been very much involved at the beginning before their careers had found sure footing. Both had been scientists, Professor Membrane in the physical sciences, and the mother in life sciences observing animals in the wild.

The name of the mother was never mentioned, and slowly faded from the scene. But it was clear what had happened. The career out in the wild had taken over, for Mrs. Membrane also had a similar obsessive streak that the Professor had showed for as long as Zim had been on Earth.

Gaz's mother had simply forgot that she once had a family. That she had once had a son and daughter. Unlike the Professor, she didn't even try to remember. All that was left was watching baboons scratch their behinds on stumps for years on end. Gaz's father was almost as non-existent now, but hadn't actually forgot his children.

Yet.

And Gaz had no illusions about that fact.

His work was just vastly more important than his children. And he couldn't have picked them out of a crowd unless they were at home. He thought he could be in two worlds at once by sending hovering holo-communicators and devices that took care of house chores with his image plastered on the front. And the Professor was actually the good, responsible parent of the two.

Gaz also wrote of her nightmares about halfway through, but only noted when she had them soon after. Apparently the theme didn't vary much. By the time Zim came into the picture, it was mostly a book of those who annoyed her (much by her brother) and a record of doomings and any new games she wanted to get by any means necessary. She really did not like people. Zim could not blame her.

Zim now knew that fragile center that Gaz protected at all costs. It was in her nightmares. Why she was so armored and kept everyone at bay. She had been abandoned by those she should have been able to count on the most in favor of mere scientific obsession. So she trusted no one and relied only on herself.

There were many and not very flattering comments about Zim and Dib. That angered Zim, but human perceptions were obviously inferior to Irken ones, so he didn't get too upset by that. Some were so wrong that even he found them funny. But there also were a few not-so-dark moments here and there. However, she had almost light moments on occasions and they correlated with when Zim slipped something into her locker at school or got one over on Dib real good.

Yet toward the end things had almost started to turn brighter. Zim had to look really, really hard but it was there, invisibly upbeat. About the same time she had partnered with Zim for the CWZ competition.

Then Zim read the next entry.

I was wrong about Zim. All these years I just saw a guy who couldn't get anything right. He could mess up any task no matter how small. But I didn't know how to look at him. I saw his memories and now I see him. It's not that he constantly fails to succeed, but that he's designed to succeed at failure. Literally. He hasn't succeeded in his mission against Earth, but always succeeds in saving it from others.

No plan, plot, or action that is brought against him has ever succeeded. And when he doesn't have other's plots to foil, he messes up his own. Because that's what he's meant to do pure and simple. Get in and mess stuff up. Wreck things. He's a natural saboteur and he's brilliant at it without even trying or being aware of it.

I'm sorry Zim for all the lousy things I wrote about you. You are amazing, even though things often go haywire. Know that you are my friend. I didn't realize it until tonight. I don't know how it happened, but you're the only one I have.

And Zim had turned her away in the heat of the moment and it was Gaz-zilla who was trying to fix things.

I know you don't agree with everything I wrote, but that's okay. I know that you are the only one you will really listen to and perhaps that is how this part should be. I've written some things down on the next page but don't read it, because one day you will discover those on your own. When that happens, remember this day, and that I haven't hidden anything from you. It is just that some things are things you need to figure out on your own. Just like I had to discover for myself how to look to truly see you. When that happens, I will be there with you.

Zim turned to the next page. It was ripped out and underneath was more writing. Zim started to laugh.

I knew you couldn't resist, so I'm keeping it on me. Don't forget I know you now, just like you now know me. Plus you'd better give this back if you want to stay healthy. Just because you're my friend doesn't mean I won't doom you good. I'm not expecting anything, but if you still want to be partners, I'm waiting outside.

Zim slammed the book closed, jumped up off the couch and opened the front door. Sure enough there was Gaz, sitting on the curb with her feet planted on the street. She must have been sitting there for almost two hours looking into the sky, and the sun was coming up over the horizon. Zim walked up to her quickly, not happy that she was still out there. It was not really freezing, but not what one would call warm at night. But he knew her, and that she could not leave until she had finished what she came to do. Her soul demanded it.

He stood behind her, but she did not turn to face him, but looked at the sunrise. She was no longer Gaz-zilla to Zim. She needed a new address. So he reached out carefully and put a three fingered hand on her shoulder.

"Gaz-partner," he handed her the steel-plated book and sat down next to her. "You must go home and get your rest. Or do you want to catch a germ sickness? It was foolish to remain outdoors."

Gaz snapped the padlock back into place on her diary and held it close. "Yeah, I know. But you understand why."

Zim nodded his head. "Yes. Zim understands."

The pair sat for another ten minutes watching the sunrise. An observer might have concluded that they were taking time together and appreciating the nature's art in the sky. But they didn't see nature's display, for they were digesting all that their opened eyes now saw in that night of awakening. A lifetime of memories was a lot to take in, even if it was an overview of the highlights.

Finally Zim had enough of indulging Gaz's foolishness. "Zim knows you. Therefore Zim knows you must go home and rest. You will take a sleep-aid if you must."

Gaz finally looked at Zim. "I will? You think you can order me around now?" Her eyebrows were cocked, but there was a hint of a smile in the corner of her mouth.

"Yes. If you do not rest, you will get a germ-sickness and will not be able to return to see Zim's surprise for his Gaz-partner. Now shoo! Do not return until sufficient rest and nutrients have been achieved. You may come again at noon, but no earlier."

Gaz was now smiling as she dusted herself off and walked back home. Zim returned inside and quickly got to work. He had already been working on the setup for several nights, but he now had a couple new ideas to include. Nothing big, just a few decorative touches but would make all the difference to his partner. While Gaz hadn't gotten much sleep that night, he knew she wasn't much of a day-sleeper. The girl would be back exactly at noon.

Gaz walked up to Zim's door exactly at noon. She had managed to get a few more hours of real honest sleep in, a good breakfast (along with a mild painkiller and vitamin C tablet), and a long, relaxing bath. After the strain of last night she really needed it. But things were right with her world once again.

Her fist was raised to bang on the door when Zim opened it to let her inside. He raised a finger to his lips and led her to the elevator leading down into his base. Gaz was led further down the nearest hallway and to a nearby open doorway. This room was located below the front yard, and separate from the lower depths that housed the military components within Zim's base. She peeked in.

Inside was a raised platform. It was fairly large as it had two identical setups back-to-back. Two chairs with racked headsets were positioned in front of state-of-the-art computer systems. Each sat before over a dozen large widescreen monitors arranged to provide a one-eighty degree field of view. She stepped in and up onto the platforms for a closer examination. Each station had a keyboard, gaming mouse, flight control joystick with buttons and two hat switches for twelve keyboard commands, and a throttlemaster controller with nine more buttons on it. Between the two stations sat a master server.

It was all human technology of course, but it was complete overkill as a gaming system. More like a command center to fight a small war with.

"Zim took the liberty of recreating the virtual cockpit rigs used by the CWZ competition. It can also be used for other games and utilities. It has taken all week to gather in all the equipment and piece the components together to reach operational status. But Zim pulled it off. Gaz-partner is pleased?"

Gaz was staring. She touched her mouth with her fingers. Yep, she was drooling too. She turned to Zim, not really knowing what to say, and walked back over to him as he was still standing outside the open doorway.

She decided to go with humor. "You do realize that I'm going to practically live here from now on, right Zim?"

Zim just grinned and pushed a button next to the doorway. It closed shut and Gaz saw there was a large decal on the door. A white skull with red stylized lettering running diagonally across it.

Gaz's Gaming Den

"Yes, Zim knows his Gaz-partner very well. You may decorate it as you wish."

In a way it was Zim answering that cry that sounded in Gaz's nightmare.

"Don't leave me."

"I'm right here."

Zim had given Gaz a part of his base. She would always have a place to go.

A/N: Many writer's have written about the Membrane's lack of a mother. This seems to be a key element of the Gaz character yet usually unexplained. Most have made this history a single traumatic event resulting in the mother's death when Gaz was about four, or that Gaz is in reality an experimental clone, thus causing her to think of herself as a copy rather than a unique human being.

I think the history as written here better explains why Gaz is Gaz simply because it's a repeating pattern in her family. There would be little she could do but protect what family moments she could have left with her father like a juggernaut (Bloaty's Pizza Hog), yet not care and distance herself at the same time (to minimize the potential for heartache) as we see in other episodes. She could see familiar patterns and know the eventual outcome, but also know there would be little she could do to change that outcome. It would take a very strong character not to be crushed by this as a child, and perhaps we see Gaz overcompensating to become impervious to her surroundings.

It is not as dramatic perhaps, but very human in an Invader Zim sort of way. One of my goals was to make this early history consistent with the IZ style portraying the Membrane household, and Gaz is my favorite character of IZ. I hope this story does her justice and works for you as readers.

Now to continue my master plan…