Authors' Note: We're so sorry! We never meant to keep you guys waiting this long. I finally found time to type this chapter up (technically I have to type two chapters one for my other story so everyone is happy). I will try to type these up as fast as possible to keep all you lovely readers coming back and not giving up. We won't keep you any longer because you have been waiting long enough... the next chapter! Please review and tell us what you think!
Disclaimer: I do not own RA
Chapter 12
Small Gestures
Gilan kept looking at me. I tried my best to ignore him, but I could feel my irritation rising. We leaned against a building concealed in the shadows and by our Ranger cloaks. Of course we had been waiting in the forest for two days for the traveling circus to catch up to us. It also meant that I would be time for my mission to start. He looked at me again; I could feel his eyes bore into the side of my head. If he was ignoring his Ranger training, it must be ok for me to break from my motionless scan of the area.
"What?" I snapped at him in a loud whisper, giving up on ignoring him.
"I was right. You do have less patience than Halt does."
"What is that supposed to mean?" I highly doubt he was looking at me just to test my patience. The bad thing about Rangers was that they were really good at hiding their emotions, especially since we usually hid inside the cowls of our cloaks.
"It means that you have the right amount of patience for being a Ranger." I couldn't be sure if that was a compliment. "Why are you going to met Luther in the same dress that you wore the first time we met?" Gilan's voice had changed from joking to a different tone that I had heard him use before, but I couldn't remember when. I looked down and opened my cloak a sliver to remind myself of which dress I was actually wearing. It was my favorite light blue one. Well it was my favorite until Gilan met with our contact. But Gilan told me I should only wear it when I know I'll need to quickly convert from a fancy dressed up lady to a Ranger in seconds.
"Well this is the one of my favorite dresses, wait how do you remember I was wearing this dress the night we met?" I eyed him, trying to hide the smile that I felt forming on the corners of my lips.
"Well," I could hear him squirming for an answer. For some reason it made the smile actually visible on my face. "I never could've forgotten the beautiful girl that puzzled me from the very beginning. Not to mention Beckett gives me the same look every Ranger meeting and it just rekindles my memory."
"You thought I was beautiful?" I asked quietly.
"You have many features that any man would think are attractive." I heard him quickly cover up. I sighed back against the wall. "But the fact that you hide your beauty is what makes you so much more unique." My heart thumped loudly in my chest when I heard his quiet, yet honest words. I hide because that is what I was taught to be a Ranger. Taking off my hood and acting as just the pretty face feels too fake to me. There was a silence between us. It was also a good thing we both were wearing our hoods because I could feel the red rising with the smile. "Speaking of men who find you attractive, you better get going."
I saw what he was looking at. Luther could be clearly seen in his blue jacket as he struck down the busy market, not to mention common people had the natural tendency to stare at outsiders, which is why I spent all day yesterday shopping for props that I would use for this moment. Gilan stepped aside as I reluctantly unclasped my cloak and handed it to him. My long hair fell in front of my face, no longer tucked into the cloak. I bundled my shopping props that Gilan had been hiding behind him, and took a deep breath. "You'll be fine." I stopped the step I was about to take, turned around, and saw a smile appear from under his hood. I smiled back, not as sure as he was.
My hands shook slightly. My knee still didn't like putting full pressure on it, making it very difficult to walk smoothly. Gilan said I could probably use a limp to look more defenceless later tonight when I ran away from home. But I would have to suffer through the next bit, especially with what I have planned. I kept my head down as I walked a parallel path to Luther. He was busily going from shop to shop, but I could see that he was carefully watching the people he passed. Searching for more candidates are we? I caught Gilan in the corner of my eye, the signal. I cut between two shops, narrowing the distance between us. Stealthily, I cut right into his path. We crashed. Items went flying from my arms slowly as I caught myself on my hands then switched, so I was resting on my hip, my knee not wanting anymore strain on it.
"Watch... I mean I'm so sorry." I heard him quickly switch probably seeing that I was his one weakness: female. "Here let me help you." He said courteously as he offered his hands. I took them and allowed him to pull me up.
"Thank you." I said as I brushed the hair out of my face. Our eyes met.
"Silas?"
"Luther? What are you doing here?" I asked sounding surprised and excited to see him.
"I'm with a traveling circus." He emphasized traveling, to make it seem like I might have forgotten. "What are you doing here?" He asked a huge smile on his face and I noticed how he didn't let go of my hands. In fact he actually pulled me closer to him. I suddenly noticed my items on the ground and let go of his hands to pick them up.
"I live here in this town." Luther handed me the rest of my items.
"Then what were you doing in the town we first met."
"I was just visiting my cousin in Faciem Cliff. Are you doing another performance here?"
"No I'm just picking up some items and then we're passing through." He sounded quite sad about it. "My offer still stands you know." He tucked a strand of hair that had fallen in my face behind my ear, brushing his fingers lightly against my cheek. My heart skipped a beat. Wow he is really good, but I couldn't be sure if it was this silver-tongued thing that Maverick said. I saw the longing in his eyes.
"Maybe if you had asked me on another day. Mother said she has a surprise for me, who knows with the eighth time she might actually have a good one." I said rather reluctantly. I hoped I made it sound like I had thought about it from last time. He sighed.
"Well, Miss Silas, it was destiny that we were to meet again. You can't deny that we are linked." He grabbed one of my hands, lowering his lips to it. "Until our stars say we can be together." He said softly as he cocked his head to the side before kissing my hand softly. It made my heart beat faster in my chest and I couldn't help smiling. "I hate departing, but the adventure you missing out on, is calling for me."
"Goodbye Luther." I laughed as he attempted to get me to leave with him again. He sighed, but the smile on his face didn't fade.
"Farwell Silas, I know that we will meet again." He said before turning and walking away. I did the same. It took me several extra minutes to get to our rendezvous because my knee made it well known that it did not like being used, especially when crashing into Luther.
I felt an arm around my shoulder. A familiar texture touched my skin. It was Gilan because he was the one I was meeting here and he was the one who had my Ranger cloak, but it never ceases to amaze how terrific his unseen movement. I pulled up my hood, finally feeling like myself again.
"I don't know how you did it, but even I wanted to go with him." I laughed at that.
"There is still a chance for you to wear the dress." I suggested playfully.
"Nice try, but I don't think Luther will fall for my batting eyelashes."
"It was worth a shot." I shrugged. I knew I was the only one for the job, but I was still trying to convince myself that I was ready for it.
The waiting was killing me. Gilan didn't have another hour to wait before riding out. Gilan sat back against a tree and enjoyed another cup of coffee by the light of our campfire. "Nervous?" Gilan asked between sips. I said nothing, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of being able to read through my mask. "You haven't touched your coffee. I'm telling you, it tastes better with honey." I could see what he was trying to do, other than convince me that my coffee needed honey again, he was trying to distract me. He was smiling from ear to ear when I gave him a look. "I can still see the Ranger in that dress you know. You might have to be careful of that?"
"What is that supposed to mean?" I couldn't be sure if that was a compliment or not. It would be by far the most original one and one that actually meant something to me.
"It means that you have nothing to worry about anything. You have everything you need right here." He tapped my forehead with one of his fingers. "And this, if it makes you feel more comfortable." He pulled out a pair of unstrung bows from behind him. "Of course you'll have to find to practice."
"You expect me to practice while undercover?" I asked incredulously.
"Well the only way you're going to master the long bow is to practice. Who knows, maybe they have some magic technique they can teach you to make it happen." Somehow, I think he must be conniving with Becks because it sounds an awful lot like what he would make me do.
"How do you expect this pathetic twit to wield a man's weapon without blowing my cover?"
"Something along the lines of they were the only things left I had of my father, and then bat those beautiful eyelashes of yours. Of course Luther would believe anything, especially considering how easily he'll fall for you."
Strangely, I did feel a little more relieved having them with me. I had my knives concealed under my dress, bound to my calf by leg straps as part of the dress Crowley had made for me. I would have to wait for a more pressing occasion to try the first ever Ranger dress on, secretly I wanted to wear it. Maybe if I was allowed to wear it I might not be as nervous. Really I doubt that anything could calm my nerves at the moment. If only Gilan could suck away my anxiety like he did underwater when he... stop it Silas. But what did he mean how easy it is to fall for me? Not now. You're about to go on a mission, you can't start letting that cloud your thoughts again.
"Gilan," There was one last thing that I had been meaning to ask him. It took me a while to form the proper question and this was my last chance to hear the answer. "There is something that has been bothering me for a while now." Gilan smiled and politely nodded his head ushering me to continue. "Back in Redmont,"
"Whoa that has been a while." For some reason he scratched the back of his nervously.
"When you met with Baron Arald, why did you tell him of our mission?"
Gilan chuckled slightly looking more relieved than anything, which I didn't find very amusing. "So this is where the disadvantage of being raised secretly as a Ranger comes in. Do you know what is our most important weapon is Silas?" He asked and I instinctively clutched my hands around the bows on my lap. He smiled "Most people think that. In fact it's this." He tapped his head. "Information and what we can do with it is our greatest strength. You yourself are going on a mission just to find out information about the performers who for some reason want to take over the kingdom." I nodded understanding what he meant but that still didn't answer my question. As if reading my mind he continued. "It's ok to ask for help sometimes, Silas. It's also a good idea to know who is on your side. The King trusts Baron Arald with one of his fiefs, more importantly Halt trusts him."
I laughed at the last bit. Mrs. Padavick had told me something similar before I left. He was right. I was used to being alone with Becks. He taught me how to survive on my own, and there had never been any need for me to rely on anyone before Becks was kidnapped. Someone pulled on my heartstrings as I realised that I could see Becks soon. I'm coming for you; you can count on me to save you this time.
"You'll be great." Gilan said seriously as held me in place by my shoulders, forcing me to look in his beautiful eyes. I swallowed and nodded. I just wish I felt the confidence that he had in me right now. It was time. Gilan smiled at me, letting my shoulders go. He had to say it a few times to make sure I knew it. I knew I will be able to pull it off when I get there, but there still was a few minutes between here and there that my mind would have time to itself to think. I readjusted the hood on my mother's cloak, making sure the brim was folded back so I wouldn't disappear from sight. My Ranger's cloak was wrapped around my bows and quiver of arrows to make it look more convincing that it had belonged to my father. I mounted Astrum, checking the packs with all of my supplies. I froze. Something had my foot locked into place. Turning, I found Gilan smiling up at me, my ankle in his grasps.
"What are you doing?" I asked, waiting for him to let my foot go.
"Just as I thought." He laughed quietly to himself. However he didn't let my foot go. Fighting wouldn't work because I would be fighting against his strength with my bad leg. "You need to relax Silas. As a lady you should expect things like this to happen." He said. This time he gently placed my foot inside the stirrup. My heart suddenly jumped into my ears as his fingers trailed off.
"What sort of things?"
"Signs of affections, Luther will let you know that he fancies you by doing small gestures, like help you place your foot in a stirrup or kiss your hand." I could feel the heat rising to my cheeks for some reason. Gilan wasn't blind and smiled even bigger. "Perfect! Just to make your face do that. You have to learn to let your emotions out more so the Ranger side of you doesn't show too much." I tried to hide my face by pulling my cowl, so much for the shadows being my friend. He gently pulled my hand away and held it in both of his. "Just don't hide it completely; you have no idea how that makes us men feel." He mumbled the last bit, letting his hand drop with his eyes. What did he mean by that and why did he say 'men like us'?
I looked away shyly, taking the reins in both hands. He mounted Blaze and rode out with me. Anymore time talking and I think I might do something stupid like say what's on my mind. And I really didn't need any more distractions to keep me from focusing on my mission.
It was only a few minutes until I could see the dimly lit camp. I followed Gilan as we rode closer to the camp. I bit my lip the nerves still there, making my hands shake slightly. "Right there will be your best bet." He said quietly. "Beside the bigger tent, I'd wager that either a meeting tent or Luther's personal tent: suits him." I saw what he meant. He was right; I could imagine Luther lounging in a tent that size. I scanned the area; I could see my point of entrance. This was going to be interesting. I looked at Gilan and we're thinking the same thing. I pulled Astrum around. Looking back, Gilan nodded, a slight smile was visible from the illuminated moon. It was a simple farewell, but for some reason my nerves disappeared. It was now or never.
Astrum galloped into the camp. My hood had purposely fallen off before I reached camp so it would be easier to search frantically like my character was supposed to be. I found what I was looking for: the group of men that stood a several meters away from the big tent. There were only for left but that would be enough to cause a scene. I rode up to them, my face set in desperation with a mix of fear. Quickly, I dismounted and ran up to the men. "Please, I need to find Luther!" I called to them.
"Oh look here boys, looks like another one of Luther's girls." One said as he grabbed my arm and twisted me around, pulling me so my back was too close for my comfort. The hardest part was not giving into the many years of training; it would be far too easy to dispose of the creeps.
"And what do we have here? Lost are we, little one?" Another taunted. I feebly tried to fight away from their grasps.
"Looks like the lucky bastard found himself a princess this time." They played with me by tossing me around their little circle.
"Please stop!" I screamed out.
"Another one for the house."
"But it's such a pretty face; I don't think she should be wasted on the house just yet." One said as he stroked my face with one long, dirty finger. That was the last straw. Quicker than he could blink, I struck his face, I could feel my nails digging into his flesh as I scratched him. He let go of me, shocked. Touching his face I saw the tips come up red. His face grew redder and I faked a horrified expression. I tried backing up but knew that I would have to take the next hit if I wanted Luther's attention.
"Why you little..." He didn't finish his sentence. He struck me with the back of his hand on the cheek. I overdramatized it and fell to the ground screaming. I let my eye water from the blow and stayed crumpled on the ground.
"Enough! That is no way to treat guest! Now get out of here unless you want to deal with Maverick when he gets back." Obviously that meant something because they said nothing. I sobbed quietly on the ground as I heard Luther's voice. That also means that Maverick isn't back from chasing us. The sound of four sets of feet stamping off meant I was now alone with Luther. "Now are you hurt?" He asked kindly, putting an arm around my shoulder.
"I think so." I lied, I would've use my hurt knee later just to show how pathetic this character was, but I decided it would work more effectively this way. I wipe the tears I had forced down off my cheeks. I looked at him as he knelt beside me. Full of relief washed my face when I saw his face and I hugged him tightly. "I'm so glad I found you, I don't know what I would've done if you didn't come for me."
He took a moment but he placed both arms on my arms and pulled me off of him. "What are you doing here Silas?" he sounded more surprised than happy to see me. I shied away from him, sneaking a glance around to make it look like I was wary of someone overhearing. "Here we can talk inside my tent." He offered with a kind smile on his face. The one that made my heart thump a bit louder in my chest unwillingly. He held both of my arms as we stood up. I took one step on my left foot and let it collapse under me, I yelled in pain. He held me up as I found my footing on my good leg.
"I... I think I twisted my knee." I said in a pained voice. I tried another step, but I fell against him again. All in all I think my acting was pretty convincing.
"Don't worry, I have you." He smiled before swooping under the backs of my legs and carried me in his arms. As Gilan and I had guessed this was his personal tent. It wasn't extravagant but it was enough to know that he loved living comfortably even if that meant taking a few extra hours to set up and take down each time they relocated. He placed me down on a pile of pillows, and then laid down himself across the ones facing me, propping his head up on his hand. "What changed your mind?" This time he sounded a little more excited. I gingerly folded my skirt back down and sat up straight, so I would be presented as a proper lady.
"My mother." I said plainly.
"And I thought you just couldn't resist me any longer." He joked. I arched an eyebrow at him and it silenced him. I small smile crept onto my lips, but I had to keep up the pretence that I wasn't in the mood for joking just yet.
"I ran away from home. I just couldn't take it anymore." A sob started creeping up my throat.
"Calm down Silas," he grabbed my hand and rubbed his thumbs over the back of it soothingly. "Tell me what happened. Why did you run away?" He said in a velvety voice.
"Ever since my father died, my mother has been trying to match me up with men to marry, so I will be supported for the rest of my life. And she keeps saying that my beauty won't last forever. Sure I wasn't to get married one day and I know she has good intentions, but she always chooses people based on their status. My mother just has this disappointed look on her face every time I turn them down for courtship or even the several marriage proposals I've received. I've even told her I'm not ready but this time she pushed too far." Luther was a great listener. He continued to watch my face even when I couldn't meet his eye. "She said she had a surprise but I didn't believe when she told me she arranged a marriage for me! To some knight that was a friend of the family a long time ago. I don't want to marry some old, rusted knight! I told her I wasn't ready. How could my mother do this to me?"
Luther thought about what I said for a while. It was as if the whole camp was holding their breath. He looked up at me and smiled bigger than I had ever seen from him before. "You are welcome to stay here as long you want. You are not the first to run away and join the circus." He reached out and wiped a tear that I had been working on for the last few minutes. "Do not cry Silas, you are meant to be here. I already told you we are linked by destiny. Let us just wait and see what it has in store for us."
He allowed me to sleep in his tent. As a gentleman, he slept in another tent. I could see why those men said I was just another one of Luther's girls; he was fantastically charming and convincing. Regrettably, even I had a hard time wiping the smile off my face when I thought of his romanticized words. I just wonder how many other girls he has used this on. For some reason I didn't like the sound of that. Get a hold of yourself Silas! This is an undercover mission; you can't actually have feeling for the enemy. He's just using us. It's no different than how you feel when you think of Gilan. Except he's not the enemy and he knows who I really am. I shook my head, trying to drown out the badgering that was going on in my head. Had I really come far enough to start fighting with myself? Yes, you have been doing that for a while now. Of course that was just going to make it that much more impossible to get any sleep tonight.
Someone touched my shoulder. I stopped breathing for a second. I felt under my pillow, but where was my knife. I always sleep with my knife so I could be prepared in seconds. But where was... Oh right strapped to my leg. Becks would've giving me heck for letting my guard down, but I think in this case he might forgive me or else it might blow my cover. Slowly, I opened my eyes, finding Luther's smiling face beaming down on mine. He delicately brushed the hair that wound around my face from a restless night. "Good morning sunshine."
"Morning." I yawned.
"I let you sleep in a little, its moving day." He continued after seeing my confused expression. "We need to move on to the next town, for our next performance. We've over-welcomed our stay here so it's time to move on." I stayed silent. "Don't worry, you'll get used to it. This time you don't have any gear to take down yet so you'll be able to have a look around the camp. I would personally give you the tour, but I have to make sure everyone else is doing their job." He said reluctantly. He helped me stand. "Will you be able to walk?" He glanced down.
"I think so." I said testing out my leg. He held me by the arm until we reached outside.
"I'm glad. If you go down about twenty tents and take a left you'll find Cynthia. She'll have a breakfast for you." He gave me a kiss on the back of my hand. I felt the heat rising in my cheeks, and I remembered what Gilan had said: 'you have no idea how that makes us men feel.' "I'm sorry I have to leave you on your own for a bit, but if you're willing I'll meet you at the front of the group when we start leaving."
"I would like that." I smiled at him. He waved as he turned to leave giving me the freedom to look around. Little did he know that that could be a serious mistake.
To keep up pretenses I limped over to Astrum who didn't look like he didn't like me being in some strange area without me. "I told you this was going to happen." I whispered to him. He eyed me as I patted him.
'Who was that man you were with?' He didn't seem comforted as I patted him down. His gaze was directly down the path Luther had just taken.
"Really, I don't need you on my case too." For some reason I had a feeling Astrum had had a conversation with Celeg before we left Old Bob. "This has to happen whether you like it or not. I'll whistle when I need you." I laughed.
He nudged my back as if saying: 'Well where are my apples if you're just going to leave me again.'
"I'll see what I can do." I waved back as I followed Luther's directions. I counted twenty tents and turned left. It was easy to find Cynthia. She was standing in the middle of a clearing, with a large wooden ladle stirring something in a huge pot. A short line waited patiently for her to spoon some of the brown porridge like substance into their bowls. I grabbed one of the cleaned out bowls from the bench and joined in the line. I wonder where Gilan is now, probably enjoying my share of the coffee beans. There better be some coffee left when I get back because I doubt that a bunch of circus folk would care to share any of that delicious elixir with an outsider.
"You're Luther's new girl aren't?" An unimpressed haughty voice said from behind me. I turned around surprised; as if I was wondering what they were talking about.
"Of course she is, I've never seen her around here before. From what I overheard from John she kind of does look like a princess." The two girls kept talking as if I wasn't even there. This was a new level of the normal woman's way of thinking that I doubt I would ever understand.
"Maybe that'll be enough to keep his interest this time."
"Um, excuse me?" I butted in. They finally looked at me and registered that I was a real person and not just a statue anymore. "What do you mean Luther's new girl?"
"You might as well know the story before you are too far from home to remember your way back." I turned around, and Cynthia plunked some of the porridge into my bowl. She placed the ladle back in the bowl and wiped the sweat off her brow with the back of her hand. "You may think you're special girl but many of the young ladies all thought the same and they were all in your shoes at one point." Cynthia started. "Luther has a special way of convincing women to join him. He kisses their hand once, says something about them meant to have met and the next thing you know they run away from their mothers to follow their new found love. He makes them feel at home and by the time they come too far to go back they don't know why they ever left home and their dear Luther has already moved on."
"It's not like that!" I exclaimed not sure why I felt the need to defend him but I felt like the situation needed a little convincing on my end.
"All the tears are the same dear. He's a lost man, maybe you'll be the one to stop this apparent searching or you'll be the next girl crying on my shoulder. Either way you should decide if he's really worth it before we leave you this town."
I said nothing. I heard the other to girls snigger behind my back and whisper. My guess was that they were once one of Luther's girls. They had already had their heart broken and got over that fact now they were just waiting for the next poor girl to become victim like them. It was a good thing I wasn't one of those girls that would fall for his tricks so easily. They would be surprised by my story, well at least the part that I could tell them. But I could promise Cynthia that was definitely a different case.
I turned from the scene. I didn't feel as confident keeping a straight face without dressing as a Ranger, not to mention the cowl does help. I hid the smile that was threatening to creep through my hurt expression. Luther's explanation surely was going to have to be imaginative and believable. Especially if he planned on keeping me, unlike the other girls I wasn't drawn her because of him. "This was going to be interesting." I murmured to myself.
Authors' Note: Oooo things are starting to happen! Not to mention her mission finally started! I don't know about you but my favorite part definitely was when Gilan taught her about the things men do to show affection. Who know I might even put in a Gilan's point of view to see what he is thinking and what he really thought of their underwater kiss. Any guesses to what is going to happen next? Hopefully I won't deprive you too long this time, but until then... REVIEW PLEASE!
Love C & M
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