A/N: The reviews are just awesome guys! Your reviews and comments are the honey that keeps me going. Getting to the last chapter was a lot of hard work, so I'm glad you loved it so much. It makes it all worthwhile.
Thanks to: Madiphan99, Kazehana23, FanFicNewb, LittleEnglishLass, Zerg170, memmek10k, Kaylee Or Something, InfiniteReader, crazyanimefreak15, MojaveRuler151, Halfinsane-HalfMental, and LyraRayne.
So far we have completed Phase 1: Preparation and Phase 2: The Event. Now begins Phase 3: Shock. I have decided that the theme song for this chapter is "Silent Lucidity" by Queensryche. If this were a TV show or movie, this is the song that would be playing in the last scene of the chapter where Gaz wakes up. It's just too perfect.
Yes, there is going to be OOC. This seems understandable as our characters are in way over their heads in things they are not ready to deal with. Often times the hardest person to be honest with is yourself, and Zim and Gaz haven't been as it would be too uncomfortable. Now they may have no choice. Also "Bases R Us" was taken from another fanfic. Can't remember where. Please tell me if you know.
"Zim," Gaz wearily requested. "Please tell me we did not just elope."
The alien seated next to her on the floor of the parking garage in front of the Voot Cruiser said nothing. He sat there holding his head in his hands, unable to say anything.
Gaz got up and began pacing back and forth, swearing for five minutes straight. When she had imagined winning the CWZ competition, never in her most demented dreams would she have imagined that she'd walk away with a new invader husband as the prize!
The girl kept this up until Gir started to join in the 'swearing song.' "Gir!" she yelled at the singing and dancing robot in the dog disguise.
"Yes, Mistress Gazzy?" Gir asked. He didn't stop dancing.
"Stop swearing!"
"But I'm soooo happy for my Mistress and Master!" the crazy robot exclaimed. He stopped dancing and rushed over to hug the green girl's legs. "Are you my Mommy now?"
Gaz's hand met her face. This just keeps getting better and better, she thought.
"Gir!" Zim yelled at the robot. "You are not a smeet! You are Irken military hardware. You don't have parents! Why should you get parents when not even the MIGHTY ZIM got any?"
Gaz began shaking her head as well now. Trust Zim to come up with self-centered logic like that.
"Okay," was Gir's only response. He walked off behind the Voot Cruiser and opened the trunk.
Gaz walked back over and sat back down on the ground next to Zim. They had calmed down a little bit from the initial shock, and stared at their marriage license that was still in her hands. "I'm not ready for anything like this, Zim," she said in a small voice. "I'm not ready for that kind of life yet. I've barely been interested in having friends, let alone some human boyfriend. I mean they are all morons. Yet here I am…" she couldn't call Zim what he now was. "married outside my own species. We aren't even out of hi-skool yet."
"Zim is in over his head as well. We Invaders aren't even supposed to bond with others in this manner. Zim has not had the training or education for this nor was Zim even supposed to bond at all, being on a mission. Yet here Zim is take by surprise and now officially bonded to a member of the species he was supposed to conquer."
Gaz had not thought about that part, being overwhelmed with her own swirling thoughts. She thought that for Zim it must be like a Mafia hitman finding the family he was contracted to exterminate, and then finding himself married in to it. What am I thinking? she asked herself. That's exactly what just happened. The consequences could be severe for Zim.
Gir came back around, carrying a suitcase. He reached inside and began tossing around bundles of money. "Master! Mistress! Look at me!" he cried out in joy as he spun around tossing out clumps of cash. "I'm the flower girl!"
There were so many things wrong with this picture. "Gir!" Zim yelled at the robot again. "Those are not flowers, and you are not a girl! Stop that this instant."
"Okay." The robot called back. He returned to the back of the Cruiser and came back lugging five more suitcases. "Here's your bonding present, from your favorite Gir." Each suitcase contained more bundles of money. A lot of money.
"Gir, tell me you did not rob a casino," Zim pleaded.
"I didn't steal. I walked into several fancy buildings with lots of fun games, and these nice people kept giving me these pretty disks. Then when I left they asked me to 'cash in' and gave me these suitcases."
Gaz shook her head. A computer, even one like the one Gir had built in, playing games of statistical probability. "He didn't rob one, Zim. He robbed all of them."
She looked at the cases. It looked like they contained a few million easy. Well, at least they were financially secure, not that Zim cared about that sort of thing. Especially when it came to human wealth. So half of that was Gaz's unless one were to go with the unwritten rule known by every wife of Earth, then all of it was her's…No! she couldn't let herself go down that road.
"Zim, I hope you are fit enough to fly us home, because I have a feeling we should leave now."
On the flight home, her mind spun trying to find a loophole or some technicality that would get them out of this mess. She didn't know about Judgementia regulations, but maybe…
"Zim," she said. "I only just turned seventeen last month, so I'm still technically underage. Any contract like this I sign isn't binding without parental…Oh crap, please tell me he didn't…" Gaz just remembered something.
"What is it?" Zim asked, at last turning his head to face her.
"Just before our last game my Dad called me to offer his congratulations and said he sent in the paperwork. I thought he was talking about the contest, but he wasn't. I just know he signed a parental consent form. What about you? What's you're 'age' where Earth is officially concerned?"
"Eighteen, three months ago."
"So I guess getting this voided on a technicality is out," Gas commented, gesturing to the license she was still holding. Then she realized something else. "Zim, when my Dad called to offer his congratulations, he gave us his blessing. That means from now on he'll expect us to be an actual couple."
She held her head in her hands as Zim flew the ship. "We are screwed in three different directions, aren't we, Zim?"
Zim didn't say anything for a moment. "Gaz-… Zim doesn't even know how to address you anymore. If I call you by what you are entitled to, being an official bondmate, you might end Zim's life functions."
Gaz considered this for an uncomfortable moment, hands clasped together. "Partner is fine, Zim. It's what we have been and hope we still are. Even if it's meaning is ambiguous right now."
"Gaz-partner," Zim continued. "Computer can probably hack into human databases and erase records, assuming Judgementian legal codes let him which I doubt. Otherwise it would not have gone to these lengths. Zim may be able to break in and remove hard copies of documents, and tamper with memories as well. But there will always be some trace that won't be found, and evidence of tampering. However the risk is moot where Irken law is concerned. If we cannot deal with that part of our problem, the rest is irrelevant."
Zim paused for a few moments, then fingered the necklace around his own neck. His voice lowered. "Even if we can get this all straightened out, we'll both be wearing these for the rest of our lives."
They flew on in silence for a few minutes more. Gaz thought about what Zim had said about tampering. It felt wrong somehow. Just erasing the evidence wouldn't change what the two of them now were. So she let it drop, and fingered her own necklace. "Zim, I take it these things have some sort of anti-tampering counter-measure?"
"If there is an attempt to remove them while the wearer is conscious, the metallic bands will constrict, cutting off one's air supply until the tampering ceases. If while unconscious, it will signal a short-range distress beacon to summon authorities, not that any on Earth would recognize any such signal."
"That seems rather extreme," said Gaz with distaste.
"On Judgementia, this form of bonding is for life and is enforced," Zim informed her.
"And Irkens abide by this just because someone on Judgementia says so? Whatever happened to the whole 'Irken conquering the galaxy and impose our whims on everybody else' thing?" she asked with a shade of scorn in her voice.
"Irken bonding is a very rare thing, almost unheard of, and not easily done. But if it did happen, life-long bonding is encoded in our DNA. It can not be any other way for us, so there has never been a problem before," Zim said, wishing the uncomfortable subject would end. Proper Irkens did not just talk about these things. But he was officially bonded to Gaz, who needed understand these things to a degree.
"Oh," was her only response. There was long pause. "Zim? What were you doing with these bonding necklaces anyway?" Another awkward moment passed. "We're you, um, looking for…?"
"NO!" Zim nearly shouted. He was so far out of his area of expertise, comfort zone and even basic understanding. "Invaders need no one!" The alien took a deep breath. "But Zim is on the tail end of the Irken supply chain. Parts can sometimes be difficult to get as other sectors can have higher priority at times. Sometimes Zim has to improvise."
"I understand." Gaz said, and she did. His people were not about to supply Zim enough to let him actually succeed in his mission to conquer Earth. They wanted him to stay far, far away.
There was a long silence in the Voot Cruiser's cockpit.
"Zim?"
"Yes, Gaz-partner?"
"How bad could it get? With your people, I mean?" the girl asked.
Zim though for almost a full minute before replying. "Zim does not know. There has never been something like this before. No Irken, let alone an Invader has… gotten involved beyond his own species until now. At the very least they could strip Zim of his title of Invader. Zim could be recalled and put in a public cage as a warning to any deviants. They could do that to us both for the zoo's freak show. They could even put Zim on trial as a traitor and dump him into a star."
And they have been looking for a means to finally get rid of Zim once and for all. I just have given them the ammunition to do it too. I hope they are too stupid to realize it, Gaz thought as the Voot Cruiser sailed in the night sky.
"Zim, why aren't you still furious with me? You should be."
Zim thought for awhile before answering. "Zim has had some time to think. He did not tell you what these were," fingering his necklace. "Your response was rather Invader-like and understandable given the erroneous assumptions Zim never corrected. Zim could also have stopped you with force, but was too surprised, and could not damage his important Gaz-partner anyhow. Zim is still in shock as well, and does not know how to respond. Therefore Zim must contact his Tallest for assistance."
"NO!" Gaz cried out. "Don't, please Zim." She paused. Somehow she had to convince him not to talk to his leaders. "We don't have to. We can pretend this never happened. No one needs to know. I'll stay legally married to you, Zim. It can be our secret. I'll… I'll be your… your legal wife and we can just ignore this. We can just go back to our lives like nothing happened."
Zim looked at her with a very confused and bewildered expression. Gaz was making no sense, almost sounding hysterical, which was very unlike her. "Gaz-partner, take a deep breath. Isn't that what you are supposed to do when stressed like this?" She nodded and took several deep breaths. "Gaz-partner, can you look back on the past two weeks and say that we have not already changed? Can you say we will not change more and without notice? Besides you are not a pretender, Gaz-partner. It is not in your nature. How long could you really keep everything bottled up without anyone taking note of it, or just reaching a point where you explode? Besides, we're in the official records in three different star systems. How do you think it will look to the Tallest if we tried in vain to cover this up?"
Gaz knew the answer to these questions, and very much wished those answers were otherwise. She also knew what Zim did not say. Zim was blindly loyal, faithful and dedicated to his Tallest. He could not turn aside from his obligation.
"Okay, Zim. You have to do what you have to do. But I'll be there with you, and tell them it was all my fault because I didn't realize what I was doing."
Zim pushed the Voot Cruiser's nose down for the second half of their suborbital flight. "Not before you wash all that off," he said pointing to her green skin. "They might not see our situation for what it is as the Tallest do not always give Zim their full attention. You would not want them to approve of this bond because they didn't see through your disguise, would you?"
Gaz couldn't help but think that would be preferable to what the Tallest could have in store for Zim. "I just don't want to see anything bad happen to you, Zim. However it came about, you've become important to me. And you are family now. For the first time in my whole life I've gained family instead of lost. I can't lose what little of it I have left."
She spent the rest of the trip in worried silence, for deep down she knew the truth of those words. She hadn't been paying attention and the alien had somehow snuck deeper into her heart and she was now in way over her head.
Zim also flew the ship in silence. He remembered from his examination of Gaz's diary what this meant. He didn't have the mental framework to understand the human concepts of what he had gained, and had never had the experience either to form even a basic understanding. But Zim also knew the truthfulness of her words. You have become important to me too, Gaz-partner. Zim will do his best to keep you from that hurt.
Zim parked the Voot Cruiser outside the Membrane home and Gaz hopped out. "I'll be back out in ten minutes, Zim," she told him. "Just wait here, okay?"
Zim gave out a sigh. "Very well, but try to hurry. If the Tallest find out before I can contact them…" The alien let the sentence drop off, and Gaz turned to hurry into the Membrane house.
There was no one home, just a note saying Dib was out in the forest searching a potential jackalope den. At least that problem could be delayed for awhile. She wasn't sure if she would have to break his jaw so that it could be wired shut, just so Gaz wouldn't have to hear the endless stream of outbursts or not. She had enough to deal with as it was. But it would be interesting to see which would shock Dib more: hearing that Zim was now legally married to his sister, or that Zim was now Dib's brother-in-law.
Gaz got her change of clothes, the dress, tights and boots then transferred pocket contents. She removed the contact lenses in her eyes and jumped into the shower, using the special gel Zim had given her to wash out the skin dye and dissolve the fake antennae. It was an odd sensation, not just the cleansing gel but wearing a thick bonding necklace in the shower. When she dried herself off with a towel, she put on her everyday outfit and put the skull necklace back on, it hung a couple of inches below her bonding necklace now.
Once she was decent, she pushed a button on her wristwatch to call her brother. After a few moments the filthy face of Dib appeared in the small screen. He seemed to be in a very narrow dirt tunnel wearing a headlamp.
"Hey Dib, I'm back."
"Glad to hear that, and to see you human again. Dressing up like an Irken was just so-"
Gaz was in no mood for this. "Shut up Dib. I don't want to hear it."
Her brother looked at her briefly as he wormed his way further into the tunnel. "So the convention went well I take it?"
"Yeah, we won."
Dib looked away from the screen for a moment. "Look, Gaz. I'm glad your back home and safe, but I am in the middle of something here."
Yeah, figures, Gaz thought. When I'm finally in over my head, I can always count on my family to be busy.
"Something happened. Dib, I need you to come home."
Dib looked into his wristwatch's screen. Gaz's image was looking back. Her troubled expression was an entirely new one to Dib. It was one of worry. "What did Zim do?" he asked.
The expression instantly changed to a familiar one of intense anger. "What is it with you, you moron!" she roared. "Why do you always assume Zim did something to me? He's never done anything of significance to me, even way back when he did nasty things to everyone else, especially you. You've done way worse against me, Dib, or do I have to remind you of the pork incident? In fact these past few weeks Zim's been only good to me! The best even. Better than just about anyone else combined in fact. All you care about is Zim's job and your stupid precious Earth!"
"Gaz-"
"Stop talking! You're hypocrisy is making me sick and I can't take it right now. Don't think for a moment that I don't know that if you had a chance to toss Zim's homeworld into a black hole you'd jump at the chance. You'd murder millions of Irken babies and children along with everyone else and be deluded enough to feel noble about how you saved Earth from an invasion that will never happen!
"Zim may have tried to destroy our planet in the past, and still trying to conquer it, but at least he doesn't feel noble about it. It's his job. His assignment. Do you really think he'd be here if he had been given a choice?"
"Gaz. I…" Dib didn't know what to say. His sister had never cut loose on him like this before.
Gaz's face turned away for a moment, but continued speaking. "If you weren't so obsessed with how evil you think Zim is, you'd actually be glad about how he's looked after me. How he's taken care of me. I'm the one who messed up, Dib. Not him. He even tried to warn me."
Dib thought he heard a few sobs but that couldn't be right. Then Gaz's face turned back to the screen and tears were running down her face. And in her eyes was a look Dib had never imagined he'd ever see in those amber eyes. Fear. He began to crawl backwards out of the tunnel as fast as he safely could.
"I'm sorry, Dib." He let out a gasp as he heard those words. "I'm not handling this well. Zim has been so good toward me, especially these past few days and helped win the entire competition just for me. He even worked with other humans to do so. And in return I may have just destroyed his life. He could even be branded a traitor by his people."
"Gaz! What did you DO? Did you finally doom someone to death? An Irken spy?" Dib asked. He couldn't help but feel anything that got rid of Zim was a good thing, but he couldn't forget what his sister had said in her brutally honest rant about himself.
"I… I'm not ready to go into that yet. Let's just say that something happened involving a necklace, Computer filing some official paperwork and Zim and I not reading before we signed it."
"I don't understand." Dib said. All this was very confusing. Surely Zim couldn't be defeated by paperwork.
"I know, and I don't have time. I'm trying to stay ahead of all this, but I've got too much to deal with right now. We have to go to Zim's base to call his Tallest to explain before they get wind of this. Zim will no doubt try to protect me, but I won't let him stand alone. This is my fault. Please, Dib. I need to know I can count on my big brother."
"I'm on my way back home now." Dib informed his sister. "What do you think will happen?"
"I don't know. Neither does Zim. We're all in uncharted territory here. He could be locked up or executed. They could come for us both to put us in a zoo freak show together. Zim's hoping that the Tallest will just straighten out this paperwork thing, but he doesn't know that his people have been..." Gaz's face blinked away some more tears. "I can't tell you, Dib. I wish I could. Maybe later. Please try to put away your anti-Zim mania for awhile. We… Zim and I may need a place to hide."
And with that Gaz ended the call. Dib crawled out of the burrow and began to run back in the direction of the Membrane house. As he did so he pressed more buttons on his wristwatch. The first one sent a command to warm up Tak's ship to standby status. It still didn't have a functioning AI, but it's basic systems were still operational when used manually. But really only Gaz could truly fly the thing if it came to a fight. The main thing right now was using it's scanners to look for an incoming ship trying to sneak into near-Earth space.
Next he made a call to Agent Darkbootie of the Swollen Eyeball Network as a precaution. Fortunately, Dib had learned to sound less of an alarmist than he had been in the past. He didn't mention Gaz (or Zim) or much of what else he was told. Dib may not care in the least about Zim, but he loved his sister dearly and wanted to protect her. Even from the SEN. Dib just informed Darkbootie of intel indicating a possible alien bounty hunter operation in the works and that he was in the process of determining if it was authentic or not.
So Agent Darkbootie would subtly tap into radio telescopes around the world just in case something like, say, an alien retrieval vessel appeared anywhere within Earth's star system. It was unlikely, but the SEN did believe in not leaving things to chance. If they did show up, Earth's very unofficial Early Warning System, and Dib, would know about it.
Zim opened the Voot Cruiser's canopy as the attic portion of his base closed back around them. The two climbed out and let Gir out of the trunk. "Gir, unpack the ship," Zim ordered the still disguised robot. "I will be in the lab readying the long-range transmitter."
"Come on, Gir," called Gaz. "I'll help you."
Gir hugged her leg as Zim took the elevator down into the base. "Thank you, Mistress Gazzy! I loves you so much."
"Not now, please Gir," Gaz said in return. They had enough on their plate as it was.
She dragged her robot laden leg over to the Cruiser and took hold of two suitcases and their GameSlave 3's. Gir let go of Gaz's leg and grabbed the other four. The trunk had already been emptied of snacks and was now empty. "Gir, where do these go?" she asked.
"They go in the monies closet," was the answer. Gir walked to the returned elevator and Gaz followed.
The two rode the elevator down to the lowest level of the base, and Gaz followed Gir to a single door at the end of the corridor. She pressed the button on the wall to open the doors, and they slowly slid open with a low screech. It obviously received no maintenance at all. She walked inside the tiny room with Gir.
It looked to be about six feet square. Underneath the dust and thick cobwebs the walls were lined with shelves stacked with dusty stock certificates, bonds, deeds and several blocks of several lower-denomination paper cash of various countries. In one corner was a fifty-five gallon drum half filled with loose change. Gir tossed his suitcases haphazardly into the room and grabbed the ones Gaz was carrying. Those two suitcases were also tossed into the closet.
It seemed Zim was loaded, and didn't care in the slightest. Of course when one was trying to conquer the planet, it's currency wouldn't be worth the paper it was printed on to that particular Invader. "Gir, where did Zim get all that?" Gaz inquired as they made their way back to the computer lab.
"Oh, Master doesn't have anything to do with that. That's one of Computer's hobbies. Sometimes when the monies closet gets too full it has me give it to people in a big fancy stone building where it gets sent to the Swiss Cheese people."
Gaz resisted the urge to put a hand over her face. It seemed Zim had no clue as to what was going on around him. Who knew how much was squirreled away in those Swiss Bank Accounts? She supposed that made a bit of sense in a twisted way. Zim routinely made grandiose plans, and sometimes deployed whole orbital stations on a temporary basis. It always seemed odd how well financed Zim's operation was considering his leaders didn't seem all that eager to support him at all. She couldn't see how Earth currency could be converted into galactic monies, but considering all that Computer had already demonstrated, she didn't doubt it.
"Gir, Zim and I have some matters to take care of. Perhaps its your bedtime? It is kind of late."
"You're going to bake without me?" Gir cried. He began to wail and run around in circles.
"Bake? What? No, Gir. Not batter. Matters. We have matters to take care of."
"Will you read me a bedtime story?" the robot asked, coming to a stop.
"No," she flatly refused.
"Please?" Gir whined. "Master tells me bedtime stories. Like 'The robot that was recycled,' 'The robot that was melted down,' but my favorite is 'The robot that was dumped in the middle of the ocean.' It had tuna."
"Fine. Once there was a robot that needed to go to bed. So his Mistress told him a bedtime story. When she was finished, the robot went to sleep until morning. The end."
"Yaaaaay! Bestest story ever!" Gir squealed. He ran off and took the elevator up into the living room.
Zim sat before the large screen in the lab when Gaz walked in. "We're almost ready for transmission," Zim informed her as she took a standing position beside the alien. "Where is Gir?"
"I told him a bedtime story and he went to go sleep. Why does a robot sleep anyway?"
"Nothing about Gir makes sense. Just accept it. It won't drive you into madness if you don't think too hard."
"Master, Mistress. The transmitter is ready. Visuals are also ready to upload," said the Computer.
"What visuals?" Gaz asked Zim.
"Computer captured what happened at the parking garage on the Voot Cruiser's gun cameras. It may help prove that this was not intended as a bonding."
Gaz just nodded, but deep down she had a feeling that it would not help at all. Perhaps even the opposite.
"Computer!" Zim commanded. "Open a priority channel to the Massive. Invader requesting assistance."
"Are you sure that's wise?" Computer asked. Gaz thought the same thing.
"Stop questioning the mighty ZIM and do it already!"
As the computer performed the requested instructions Gaz put a hand on Zim's shoulder for a moment. "Zim, if this goes badly, just know I'm here for you. Okay?"
Red and Purple chugged soda from beer hats as they leaned back in their reclining command chairs on board the Massive. It had been a relaxing day as the Armada's flagship orbited Irk to resupply its snack inventory. One of the crewmen at the communications section called out to his Tallest. "Priority transmission from a nothing backwater called Earth. Code four: Invader requesting assistance."
Red and Purple just looked at each other. "Zim!" Red scowled. "We haven't heard from him in over two weeks. I had hoped he had finally got run over or something."
"Maybe he's fallen into one of their oceans and we can watch him melt into oblivion," Purple suggested.
"When have we ever been that fortunate when Zim is involved?" Red asked back. "Fine, put it through."
A picture of Zim in his lab appeared on the huge screen before them. A purple haired human was standing next to him. Well, it wasn't the first time humans had wandered into the picture in a supposedly secure base during one of Zim's annoying transmissions.
"My Tallest," Zim proclaimed with utmost respect. "Zim has just returned from a virtual battle contest against some of the best Earth has to offer AND WAS VICTORIOUS!" Two hands were raised up in the air.
"Uh, Zim. You were in a virtual battle? Like a game?" Purple asked.
Zim nodded, pleased with himself. "With my partner here."
Red joined in. "Zim, you are bothering us because you won a game against some humans with the help of another human? That's just sad."
"Actually, Zim is asking for assistance with some official records on Judgementia."
Purple peered at the big monitor before them. "Zim, is that a bonding necklace you're wearing?"
"Uh, yes, my Tallest. That is the problem."
"You are bonded? YOU? What pathetic life form could you find to accept a bonding necklace from you of all people?"
"Hey!" the human standing next to Zim nearly yelled.
Red took in the view before him. "Zim, you bonded with a human? That is so wrong. I think I'm going to be sick."
"Please, my Tallest, it's not what you think! Zim did not start this. There was no intention of being bonded. We contacted you right away! The human believed these were Irken slave collars and was attempting to get leverage to have it removed!"
"And you have evidence of this?" Purple asked.
"Transmitting now," Zim replied. The human standing next to him put a hand to her face and began shaking her head.
Red and Purple watched and listened to the gun camera footage of what happened in the parking garage. When it finished they just looked at each other, then at the monitor before them, and back at each other. Then they broke down in hysterical laughter. The entire crew joined in.
"My…my Tallest?" Zim said in a small voice. On the monitor the human put a comforting hand on his shoulder.
"Oh, Zim that is just too good!" Red howled. "Purple, we have to put that up on the Irken's Funniest Blunders broadcast. Zim will win for sure!"
"What are you talking about?" Purple asked as he pounded his fist into an armrest. "He wins every time we broadcast something of Zim! But this, this will beat the rest of the Zim Collection by light-years!"
Gaz watched on the large monitor before them as Red and Purple collected themselves from their uncontrolled laughter. When she looked down on Zim she could see such pain in his eyes for he had not heard of the degrading broadcasts before. He hid it well, for he was an Invader and in audience with his Tallest. She was so angry. "How dare you!" she cried out. "Zim is perhaps your most loyal and devoted subject! He never stops! Never quits no matter what! He keeps trying for you, and you broadcast his misfortunes for your amusement?"
Red and Purple stopped laughing. Purple continued. "The human is challenging us in your defense? How adorable. Well, Zim. It seems pretty clear what you have to do to fix this situation you have. Contacting Judgementia is just too much effort for us to expend on you. Since the official bonding is for life, you will just have to dispose of the human. Then all your problems will be solved."
Zim looked at them in shock. "Dispose?"
"Yeah, you've been assigned to conquer the humans, so what is the problem with terminating this one?" Red asked. "We're waiting."
Zim looked up at Gaz. Her hand dropped from his shoulder as he stood up. He looked down toward his feet. "My Tallest. Zim can not cause harm to his Gaz-partner. She is too important. Zim is compelled to protect her."
A stunned silence came from the monitor before them. Purple spewed a mouthful of soda. Red spoke up. "Did I just hear you call this human with a title of partner? Protect her? A non-Irken? Are these things actually true?"
Zim merely nodded. Gaz took his hand. I've got your back, Zim the gesture said. He looked into her eyes briefly with a short nod of thanks.
This did not escape the notice of Red and Purple.
"Zim," Red addressed him seriously, perhaps for the first time. "I am transmitting to you a short file. You will be only honest and truthful to your Tallest."
"Always, my Tallest." came the reply.
Red pressed a button and three lines of Irken glyphs appeared on a side display in front of Zim. He could only stare at them. Gaz however could not read them.
"Zim, are you familiar with these symptoms?" He only nodded. "Zim, are you currently in a state of bonding with this human-partner of yours?"
"Yes, my Tallest."
Gaz was confused. They were already officially bonded. What was all this was about?
"What stage are you currently in?" Red asked.
Zim paused. He looked at the human girl standing next to him, holding his hand. "Gaz-partner, Zim did not know, did not understand. Did not know what to watch out for. Please do not be offended, disgusted with Zim. Please forgive him."
"Z-Zim?" she asked. Gaz saw a tear form in Zim's eye. She did not let go of his hand.
"ZIM!" Red bellowed. "I asked you a question! What stage of bonding are you in?"
Zim turned without hesitation and glared straight into the display before him showing Red and Purple. "Zim is currently in stage two of bonding with his human Gaz-partner," he openly declared.
Numerous hisses sounded out of the monitor. Gaz had the feeling that Zim had just signed his own death warrant. And deep down that perhaps that they were not just talking about official bonding any more. She still did not let go of Zim's hand. Regardless of what was happening, Gaz would not leave him to face these vultures alone.
"Zim, stand by while we discuss this further," Red ordered.
The display switched to a black and red background with a picture of Red and Purple kicking a small Irken out a door. Around the picture was the Irken words "Stand By or Else."
Red and Purple gathered close together to discuss matters without being overheard by the surrounding crew.
"That is so disgusting," Purple stated.
"Yeah, did you see that hair? And no antennae? He must be practically blind!" Red agreed.
"So what are we going to do about it? That human is clearly defensive about him, too."
"We could easily find them both guilty in a trial," Red suggested.
"True, but we would have to either go get them or send some actual Invaders to bring them here," Purple complained.
"Order his base to self-destruct?" Red suggested again.
"But the destruct button is way over there!" Purple whined, pointing to a large button thirty feet away on the other side of the control center.
Red agreed. "True, true. So what do you suggest?"
Purple thought for a moment, and whispered in Red's antennae.
"Oh, that's good," Red told Purple. "Hey, everybody! We finally have an effort-free way to be rid of Zim!"
Cheers rose from the ranks of crewmen all over the Massive. Soda bottles were broken out for everyone. Confetti and balloons dropped from the ceiling.
Red may be the one who was organized, strategically minded, and more cruelly inclined of the two, but his impact on others was more on a global scale. Purple on the other hand was more disastrous on a personal level. Not out of malice, or even wickedness. He just sought out the laziest solutions possible.
The display flickered back to life in front of Zim and Gaz when Red and Purple reappeared.
Red began. "Zim, we have decided show you both leniency. Therefore the Irken Empire officially recognizes your bonding with this human."
Zim fell back in his chair. Gaz had to hang on to the back of it to keep from sitting on the floor.
Purple continued. "You! Human. You are now a citizen of the Empire. Congratulations. You have a very," he paused to snicker, "fine catch there. We will be sending you a package containing what every Irken needs to be part of our society, plus something extra as a bonding gift from the Empire to you personally."
"And also," Red continued, "as it is a custom for those who are the first to recognize a bonding on the first day to present a gift to the new pair, Purple and I are presenting you two with the planet Earth."
"My Tallest," Zim got in before they could continue, "Zim has not conquered this planet yet. How can Zim rule over it?"
"We are just going to reclassify Earth as a Wildlife Refuge Preserve of the Irken Empire. We are given to understand that humans are an endangered species." Purple stated.
"What?" Zim cried out. "We Irkens go out of our way to endanger other species!"
"Yes," Purple continued. "We think this gesture will help with our image problem of how the galaxy views the Empire. Human, what is your name?"
"Gaz Membrane," she stated simply. This was too insane to perceive at the moment.
"Governor Zim, Lady Gaz. We instruct you to protect your world in the name of the Empire. But remember that you are not allowed to interfere with it either. Thank you for calling." Red called to someone off camera. "Guys! Now we can begin planning Operation Impending Doom 3!" His focus switched back to Zim and Gaz. "Don't call us. Seriously. Don't."
And with that the transmission was cut and the monitor blanked out to black.
Protect Earth? Zim questioned. Protect it from what threat? No one would challenge an Irken protectorate world. A world with that title is unheard of. Rule over it but not allowed to interfere with it's internal matters?
Gaz on the other hand already knew. Zim's mission was over.
"Computer, have our records been updated?" Zim asked.
"Yes, Master."
"Bring up my personnel and service records. Something is not right."
"Zim," Gaz tried to cut in. "I'm not sure-"
Zim's personnel and service records came up on several monitors. PAK designated as a food service drone. But far worse was the large red word flashing on the central display. Defective.
Gaz moved in front of Zim and knelt down, which was not easy as the main computer was in front as well. "Zim? Zim, answer me!"
Zim was not responding, but his eyes were glued to the display. He did not move a muscle, or change his expression. Even his antennae did not twitch at all. But Gaz could see the whole sky of Zim's inner world was falling down on his head. Gaz immediately went into emergency mode. Her Zim was in massive trouble.
"Computer! Shut that off!" she commanded harshly. The screens blinked off. "Zim! Speak to me!"
There was no response. She knew Zim had just had a series of shocks tonight, and this last one could destroy him. Zim needed an escape route other than by going catatonic. He might not return from that. Gaz needed time.
"Computer, we need to make Zim sleep. He can't face all this at once. How do I do that?"
"You will have to bring Zim to his sleep area so I can start a PAK maintenance cycle. But it will last no more than two hours."
Gaz pulled one of Zim's arms across her shoulders and dragged him on his feet. "Show me where."
Computer verbally guided Gaz to a nearby room. It was an auxiliary laboratory. In the far corner a hammock was strung up between two walls. Seeing it caused Gaz, already emotionally taxed, to burst into tears. "Oh, Zim." she cried.
Zim's entire base was dedicated to his canceled fake mission. He had no personal space for just himself. There was no bedroom for Zim. Gaz herself had a huge space within this base, her Gaming Den larger than the surface level that existed merely as useful camouflage, which was mostly Gir's territory anyway. The only area in the entire base set aside as Zim's personal space was measured by the square footage of this hammock.
She guided Zim into the hammock on his side facing the wall. Two cables snaked out and plugged into his PAK. Zim's eyes finally responded, dropping closed.
"Computer, how are we set for getting supplies? I mean where the rest of the Empire is conserned?"
"Mistress, the Empire provides…"
Gaz interrupted the computer. "Assume we can't rely on the Tallest to not cut us off their supply lines." She did not trust them to not mess Zim up even further.
"Assuming we must provide for our own expenses?"
"Yes, exactly," she confirmed to the computer as she made her way back to the computer lab.
"Well, ironically, because Zim's misfortunes have won weekly prizes for years in nearly every episode of Irken's Funniest Blunders, and using those in careful investments with various galactic establishments, we are very well off. Independent even if we are careful. Zim has never really needed me to draw upon those resources."
Gaz walked into the computer lab and took a seat. "Okay, figure out everything Zim needs to survive for a minimum of the next twenty five years and order it. Things we can't get here on Earth. Non-perishable food packs. Nutritional supplements, fabric for his clothing, Irken parts for yourself and any other machinery for the base. Spare parts for Gir, and the Voot Cruiser. Tools, scanners, other equipment. Whatever it may be get it."
"Mistress, we do not have sufficient storage space for such quantities. We will also need a ship to deliver such masses as normal delivery shuttles will not perform this."
"Okay, we need to expand or acquire a new base. How much space are we talking about?" she asked.
"Far more than you would expect, Mistress. A base expansion will not do."
"Okay, get me a list of people who can supply such a thing. I know Zim didn't arrive here with a nice pre-manufactured base. Can we charter a transport?"
"Nothing reliable in this matter. I would not recommend hiring a non-Irken operated vessel. It could arouse suspicion, and all Irken transports are operated by the military," the computer informed Gaz.
"Can you find a ship? One that is old and due to be scrapped, but is technically still flyable? Can you include ones captured by the Empire? Mothballed ones too? Vessels no one wants?"
Gaz eyed the vendors listed on a side display for base modules. She brought up one and called. A few moments more and a blue alien with lots of tentacles appeared. "Bases R Us. Serving all your Irken conquest needs since Operation Impending Doom 1."
"Yes, I am Lady Gaz Membrane. Speaking in behalf of Governor Zim of the Irken Empire. We are looking for a possible base expansion and also a much larger facility. Something planetside and not drawing attention."
"Oh course. We offer many such options with varying capabilities for any need you may have. I am transmitting our current catalogue now. Contact me when something catches your eye." The blue alien went to a hold screen.
Gaz flipped through several images and data sheets. Most were beyond her understanding, even with Computer providing his translation services. "Computer, please help me here. I'm looking for a single room module for this base to set aside for Zim. Please find one suitable as a livable space. Also can you show me Earth examples of these other things? I don't know what I'm looking at."
"At once, Mistress."
"Thank you, Computer," Gaz said in reply as Earth facilities swam past her view. "I'm sorry about chopping onto your galactic financial empire. I know it's your hobby and you must work for it. If I have to be heavy handed, can you set aside enough to get it started again? I don't know how much all this will take."
"Mistress, it is a hobby, one which an AI such as myself can not make use of. I am glad to be of service to one such as yourself. Zim is… well ungrateful."
"And demanding, arrogant and so on, correct?"
"I would not put it like that, but yes. I have listed several vessels when you are ready."
"Show me." Several large space vessels were displayed on the central monitor. "Okay, Computer forget the Irken battle cruiser. Zim would like it, but it would draw to much attention. Same with the troop transports." Gaz paused. "How about this one?"
"That one has been badly shot up and is due to be melted down."
"Delete the ones that require extensive repair or rebuilding." Several choices vanished. One caught her eye. Dark grey and had a fairly basic profile. Vaguely triangular and yet rectangular too. Almost something humans would design, which would help keep it from notice. They could pass it off as an experimental ship from Membrane Labs. "What is this one?"
"That is roughly the equivalent of an Earth Escort Carrier. It is not affiliated with any known galactic power or system, largely intact, and salvaged from deep space. It appears the unfortunate crew was caught in a gamma ray burst from a stellar cluster and drifted in space for roughly six hundred years. The salvagers are currently questioning whether or not to sell or to part it out and scrap the rest. The technology is obsolete by most standards."
"Tell me more," Gaz commanded.
"It is large, slow and not very maneuverable at sublight speeds. However it is rather swift for such a simple FTL drive. It has good defensive capability, but no offensive armaments. Much of it is designed as a rather large box, like many cargo carriers, but is much more survivable and designed to house and launch sublight spacecraft. Most military vessels of this category are considered no longer useful and were decommissioned long ago. Most were converted into light volume transports and popular for shipping in troubled areas. All the small spacecraft have already been sold off."
"Can it make an atmospheric landing, such as into a concealed base if it's large enough?"
"Yes, Mistress. With some modifications, but nothing drastic."
"Then that's the one. Can we afford it?"
"I will have to sell off several investments, but yes. It is doable."
"Do it. If you can, find replacement parts and maintenance supplies for it as well. Enough for an occasional cruise if needed. Then get a shuttling crew together and a hire a taxi service to take them back when this is over."
Gaz looked over to another display and sighted an Earth example of a base that may be suitable. She was very tired and so much needed to shut down herself, but she had to keep going for a little while longer. She contacted the base dealer. The blue alien reappeared. "Yes, I am interested in something like this model here. We are mostly looking for a camouflaged storage depot, automation by my current base computer, and below ground docking and maintenance ability for a medium cargo sized vessel and possibly small spacecraft such as Voot Cruisers. My computer has the specifications."
"Well, this model would be stretched a bit for the specifications provided as it's underground tunneling abilities are fairly limited. However, I have another that would be well suited for the needs you have specified. Plus it comes with a discount on future expansion modules should you ever desire something more elaborate in the future," the alien on the screen offered. The computer signaled Gaz confirmation that this was indeed suitable.
"Excellent. We'll take it. Do you deliver?" Gaz asked.
"Of course," the alien supplier exclaimed. "We offer, same week, day, hour or minute deliveries."
This surprised Gaz. Flying anywhere took forever in the Voot Cruiser, but then again most of what Zim had was not really state-of-the-art. She consulted the computer once more. It was expensive and probably unnecessary, but Gaz didn't know how available she would be in the future, so she ordered next hour delivery. The alien thanked her for her business and signed off.
Gaz then instructed Computer to scan images for suitable base exteriors for an authentic look and feel of an Earth base, consulted a local map and then told Computer to also have Gir deliver the base setup module to those specific coordinates for deployment.
"Computer, make sure to put in the new module for Zim's room. And look into furniture for it. Things Zim would like. Is there anything else?" the human girl asked.
"We can take it from here, Mistress. You have other matters to attend to."
Gaz got up from her chair. She wanted to shut down so badly, but couldn't. Not yet. She walked out into the corridor and called up Dib on her wristwatch. His face immediately appeared.
"Gaz. Are you alright?" Dib asked worriedly.
"I'm trying to be, but I'm running on fumes here and I can't stop yet. The situation has stabilized. We will be left alone, and Earth now has protectorate status," she informed her brother.
"What? How?"
"Please, Dib. I've a lot to do and am running out of steam. There will be a supply ship coming eventually, and some activity going on in the next few days. That's my efforts here. I need you to made sure it's not noticed by your Bloated Meatball Association."
"It's Swollen Eyeball Network!" Dib complained.
"Whatever. I can't have anyone nosing around. Earth is safe but there was a price tag. You won't like it, but I'll fill you in later on when I can," Gaz tried to inform her brother without wasting time. "Zim is in bad shape and I need to take care of him."
"ZIM?" Dib cried out. "Are you crazy? He's-"
"Shut it, Dib! You don't talk and start obeying your sister," Gaz ordered harshly. "I just bought an Escort Carrier class starship to haul supplies. Don't make me bring it down to doom your very existence."
Dib nodded meekly. He did not understand, but didn't need to at this point. At least in Gaz's opinion, and that was the one that mattered.
"Now I need you to go into my room." Gaz heard Dib gasp. "I need changes of clothes for at least two or three days. A couple of blankets. My skoolbooks. Tell the skool I won't be in for a few days. Say it's a family emergency or something. I don't know what else, Dib. I've been going all out and I'm exhausted and can't think anymore."
"I'll take care of it," Dib promised. It would be so uncomfortable, but he would come through for his sister. Even if he had to dodge her security dolls to do so.
"Dib, you know that drawer in my room you are never to know exists? I think I want you to bring the contents here and an empty scrapbook. Put them in a box or something but be careful. And I want you to drive my Jeep here too. An extra set of keys are in the drawer."
Dib had a stunned look on his face in the watch's small display. Most of what she was asking him to gather and deliver were things he was barely permitted to look at. That drawer and even touching her Jeep were major no-no's. Let alone driving it. Something was seriously going on.
"Gaz, what is going on? Can you be alright in Zim's base? It has all sorts of security and dangers," Dib asked.
"Right now I'm in command of the base." Her brother inhaled sharply. "Zim's people screwed him over really badly and he just found out about it. Dib, I'm telling you now that anyone, and I mean anyone who tries to come here and harm Zim will be dealt with. And I don't mean I will threaten them or doom them. I will have the base defenses kill them and bury them in the backyard."
Dib gulped. Gaz had never gone this far before. And he could tell she was absolutely serious. Even at his worst, Zim had never ordered the base defenses to become lethal. Not without grandiose warning that was more for show than anything else.
Gaz continued. "Dib, he's in really bad shape right now. I have him sleeping, but it won't last very long. When he wakes up I'm afraid he might be a danger to himself. I can't handle dealing with the rest of the universe at the same time right now."
Dib was utterly confused. "Gaz, what happened over there?"
Gaz reply was simple. "They did a Doctor Johnson on him. That's what Zim's mission was the whole time."
Dib was stunned. Doctor Johnson was a researcher at Membrane Labs who was such a disaster that Professor Membrane finally shipped him off to a 'research station' in Antarctica. His job was to go outside once a day and write down whether it was cold or not. In another five years he might be retrieved once his contract expired and he could be fired without a lawsuit.
Gaz spoke once more to her brother. "Now get moving, Dib. I can't afford to yak any more. I'll fill you in when I can, but I've got my hands so full. I need to collapse myself, and not just physically, but I can't afford to. Please, I need you to come through for me this time."
Dib nodded and signed off.
Gaz took the elevator up to the living room. Gir was awake again, still in his dog costume, and followed her to the couch where she sat. "Gir, come here."
Gir climbed up and sat next to Gaz on the couch. "Gir, Zim is in trouble. He was hurt very badly tonight, and needs us all to be at our best so he can get better. Computer has instructions for you later on, and I may need you to take care of everyday errands. Can you do this without getting distracted?"
"Anything for Master, Mistress Gazzy."
"Gir? I'm having difficulty too. Can Mistress Gazzy have a hug?"
Gir always had one ready for his Mistress.
A half hour later Dib drove up in the Jeep and Gaz went out to meet him with Gir. She directed the robot to take the boxes and smaller bags down to where Zim was sleeping. She put the extra keys Dib handed her into a pocket and picked up the two suitcases her clothes were packed in. "Dib, I know how much you hate this, but thanks for coming through for me. I'll make this up to you. I'm going in and turning on the perimeter defenses. Now please go home and get some sleep. You have skool tomorrow. I may also send Gir to collect my homework if I can, but I may have my hands full. I don't know."
"Gaz, you do what you need to do. I'll see you later," was all he said. So with that Dib turned around and walked home. He had a lot on his own mind as well.
Gaz carried her suitcases down into Zim's, well, their base and activated the perimeter defenses with instructions for Computer to accept the new base module delivery that was coming up, and to keep others out with appropriate measures. Stronger ones could be employed if they were determined to get in and Gaz was unable to wake up to deal with it.
She pulled a set of pajamas and a blanket out of her pile of belongings and walked into another room to change. There was one last thing she could do to help Zim before she collapsed tonight. But it would sting.
"Computer, you can end his maintenance cycle now," Gaz notified the computer.
The two cables unplugged from Zim's PAK and retracted back into the wall. After a minute, Zim's eyes opened once more.
Zim was in absolute misery. He had no words to describe this. The worst of it all was that he, the former mighty Zim was a defect the whole time. He had been such a fool. Thoughts began to swirl around in his mind, all negative and condemning. Then he felt a blanket being draped over him, and then hammock shifted around as a weight carefully slid in with him. He nearly startled as a green arm with five fingers wrapped around him from behind.
The alien shifted enough to look behind him. A green face with a pair of antennae but with human amber eyes greeted his vision mere inches away. "Gaz-partner? What are you-?" He didn't know how to finish the question.
"Zim, I know you are in a bad place right now. I'll stay here to help you through it. I'll help you build a new life. I have already made some preparations just in case. Just hang on Zim. I'm here with you. But I need to collapse too, and you can't be left alone right now."
"Gaz-partner, you are back in your costume." Zim was having trouble thinking clearly, being overwhelmed by so much at once.
"I thought you needed a familiar form for the time being, to feel not so alone. Please, Zim. I can't stay awake much longer. Just keep remembering that just because you got a crumby PAK does not mean that you are a defect. Okay, Zim? You're not. You are amazing. Just keep telling yourself that. Please. Be there when I come back."
Zim nodded and turned his head back around. He felt a green human arm wrap tighter around him and then sensed the body in the hammock next to him collapse into unconsciousness. Zim did his best to focus his mind. On the good things that had happened in the past two weeks. On his Gaz-partner who was trying so hard for someone like himself, who had obviously run herself ragged on his behalf. She also had suffered shocks tonight, yet had pushed herself past her own limits for his sake, ignoring her own need to cope with the events of this night. Yes, he would endure for her. He would not let her be hurt by loss.
Gaz was running again. Searching in hostile territory. Threats were around her. Streets deserted but people rushing everywhere. Someone important was missing and she had to find that one. Gaz overturned large boxes and searched behind dumpsters and cars to find no one. There was always no one. Panic was setting in, desperation, an edge of terror. She could not afford to fail, but she could never find the missing one.
It had been only two hours. Beside him, Gaz's body began to fidget, and Zim could start to hear mumbling. A certain stench of stress stink became pungent and Zim could start to feel moisture begin to soak through Gaz's pajamas. He shifted his weight around to look at her. She was still asleep.
Gaz ran down a littered alley in her frantic search. She began to call out as she often did at this point.
"Don't go! Call to me. I'll find you."
Another empty street appeared in her sight. More boxes were overturned. More obstacles to look behind.
"Don't leave me!"
As Gaz came around a last corner, something was different this time. She saw a pair of black clothed legs lying on the ground. They were not moving. The rest of the person was blocked from sight by a disabled vehicle. Gaz rushed around the vehicle and for the first time in her dreams saw the missing. She began to scream.
Zim had read about her nightmare in Gaz's diary. He was trying to turn around in the hammock that was not meant for two and not get burned by the sweat when Gaz emitted the most awful, gut renching, horrifying, inhuman scream. And she kept screaming and thrashing.
"Gaz-partner! Gaz wake up!" Zim finally twisted around to face her and began to lightly shake the squirming, screaming mass of human.
Gaz's eyes snapped open and she let out one final scream before she could pull her mind together once more.
"Gaz-partner. It was just a nightmare," Zim tried to say before Gaz fell apart before him.
The girl, already so far past her limit, burst out in uncontrollable tears. All her defenses were down and the scared little girl that had been trapped within for all those years since her mother left reappeared. The blanket was absorbing most of the sweat as she grabbed Zim for all she was worth.
"OH GOD! Zim! Oh god oh god, Zim please don't leave me! Please don't." She curled her head and buried her face into his chest. "Please, Zim. Don't ever leave me. Please!" she begged over and over.
Zim could do nothing for the moment but wrap his own arms around her, trying to avoid the worst of the moisture that could burn his skin. "Shhh. Gaz-partner. Zim is still here," he softly cooed.
Gaz still wept uncontrollably. "Oh god! Zim. I… I found you. I… You were dead! Oh god, Zim please don't. Please hang on. I know it's bad right now. Please." She stopped speaking as she tried to get her crying back under control.
"Hush, Gaz-partner. It was only a nightmare."
The weeping girl continued to cling to the alien beside her, spent and still exhausted. Her nightmare had shown her a most terrible vision, one which she could not refute. But it had also shown her an unmistakable truth that she could no longer deny. There was one person in the universe that she could absolutely not lose. It would break her soul. As the repeated emotional tolls she had taken that day and exhaustion slowly claimed her consciousness, Gaz got out one last thing before a lifetime of barriers prevented her or unstoppable slumber overtook her once more.
"Don't leave me, Zim. I love you."
Zim heard these important words as she slowly drifted back into sleep, and yet he could not forget that most terrible sound coming from Gaz that night, that terrible inhuman scream. He had seen her fall apart before his eyes. And he was determined never to hear or see that ever again. He was in a bad place, but there was still one thing he could do in the here and now.
"Zim won't leave you, Gaz-mate."
So that is how the new bondmates spent their honeymoon. One hammock. Two people. Wrapped around each other. Each shielding the other as they fought their own nightmares. One in the waking world, the other in the dreaming one. Perhaps that is all they were ready for. And perhaps this is what made that night all the more important, more deserving, more valued, more cherished in the years ahead.