Authors' Note: Yes I can feel the pitchforks you guys have been poking me with to update. Maybe that's why my back has been hurting so much. Sorry again for the extremely long wait. I'm horrible I know! School is rough and everything else in my life just eats up time. Thanks to those who haven't given up on this story yet. I promise it will be completed... eventually. Good news is that I only have one (ish) chapter left on my Harry Potter Fanfic so I will have faster updates because I won't have to keep switching back and forth to keep everyone happy. Speaking of happy, just wait till you read this chapter.
Disclaimer: I don't own RA
Chapter 16
Test
I opened my eyes. It was dark. I couldn't see anything but something felt strange in the air. Well not strange, but different, I couldn't exactly describe it. I moved one hand slowly until it was touching the ground. Pressing my fingers to the earth was something I've never sensed before. It was strange. The normal presences I usually felt seemed muted. Instead it was like I was drawn to the pulse beneath me. I shone brightly as I felt my own heart beat keeping rhythm with it. It was almost too much for me. I put my hand back to its original spot. Then I felt the problem. All the memories flooded back to me. The louder ones telling me that I wasn't supposed to fall asleep. I was supposed to wake up and try to figure out how to get out of Gilan's arms, not to sleep on his chest. No matter how it made me feel. I could feel his even breaths raise me up and down. Gilan still was sleeping, and I doubt there was anything that could wake him now. One of my legs had fallen asleep due to the way I was laying on it, so it will be of no use. My right hand will have to be the last thing I move. His fingers had curled around mine and held them protectively to his chest, the spot where I can feel his heart beating the most. That, plus I was also laying half way on it. Maybe that's what messed up my ability. His other arm was heavy across my back but his grip seemed more relaxed as that it did before. Wait I have an arm free! That was more than I had before. Pins and needles traveled down my numb leg as I tried pushing it in a better angle. I shifted my weight onto my free arm and moved slowly. I barely moved an inch before I had to freeze again. Gilan moved in his sleep and found another comfortable position. At least he let go of my hand, except now that hand was on the base of my neck and I was back to where I started. Why did you trap me in the beginning? I doubt that this was part of him trying to clear my head. But what else could it be?
I figured out a new plan of action. Again I pushed up with my free arm. Next, I crawled my fingers up his chest to free the arm I was laying on. I tried not to bother him too much by finding traction on his shirt. If I could get my arm free I should be able to slide out easier. My fingers found the empty space above his shoulder. This was going to work. My one leg still felt dead, so I would be using one arm and twisted so my good leg was kneeling under me. I would have to be gentle but my mistake last time was trying not to move him too much. I finally pushed enough to get my right arm all the way straight. My fingers brushed against his chin as I pulled under his arms. His arms didn't try to stop me this time. As if the small touch to his face was all I needed. They simply moved as I moved until I was too far for him to reach.
I put a hand to my chest trying to slow my heart beat down. What was this feeling? I stayed sitting on the ground with my knees pulled in for a while. My hands shook every time I thought about Gilan holding me like that. I faced Gilan's direction but it was still dark that I could barely see him. What would he look like sleeping? Would he still have that worried look on his face I saw dimly last night? Maybe it was just the exhaustion from riding non-stop. He knew that I wasn't in danger so putting that much strain on his body wasn't a smart thing to do. What was he thinking? So many questions came to my mind but they were asked only to the darkness of the night.
I waited like that until my senses had returned to normal. Only then was I able to stand up and turn away from him. I quickly changed into another dress and pulled my Ranger cloak over my shoulders. I sat in the corner of the tent keeping an eye on Gilan and on the entrance of the tent. The familiar fabric felt good on my skin. I felt warm and safe in it. Inside its deep cowl there was a clear space for my mind to think logically. No more conflicting emotions from Gilan or Luther, nothing mattered but the task this Ranger was set out to do. I needed a way to get Luther and Maverick to trust me: to let me in. That meant I would have to agree to Maverick training me. But that also meant letting Maverick know my abilities and let him use me. That would be working within a dangerous zone. Would I be able to keep some a secret from him? I could get closer to Luther. If I could get close enough to him he might be able to convince Maverick or give me more information. But it was getting harder and harder for me to control myself around him and that could be even more dangerous.
I didn't move a muscle for hours. It was strange not being able to see anything from inside this tent. It blocked out the moon and the stars so there was no light to even see shapes. If I didn't have my fingers pressed to the ground I would've gone crazy from being blind. The sun started to rise over the horizon. It casted long shadows on the ground, but I could see with my own eyes. I wouldn't have to worry about Luther for another few hours. Everyone always slept longer after a performing day.
Dark circles were formed under Gilan's long eyelashes. I found myself looking at Gilan. Maybe I was just waiting for him to wake up. Gilan had a way of teasing me and then switching to his deadly serious Ranger side within seconds. But the third side of him was the one I didn't understand. This was all just too confusing. I think Gilan might have been the better choice and Crowley should've put him in the dress. He would've known what this all means. Well he's here now at least now he can help me with some of my problems; mainly, my Luther problems.
He stirred more than an hour later. I just hope he wouldn't go back to sleep. It was too dangerous for him here, especially in my tent. What if someone saw him? Waking up soon would be a good idea, any time now. I'm really going to kick him out this time. If he wants to sleep, fine, just not in my bed, he can even sleep for the rest of the day if he wants. Just not in here. My annoyed thoughts stopped when I saw him starting to sit up. I crawled over to him and kneel next to the bed. At the moment I couldn't decide if I was glad to see him or angry for what happened. He looked around rubbing his eyes. Tired to the bone was written on his face. I saw him finally focusing. He looked around confused, his eyes darting around quickly. I waited with an eyebrow arched.
"Silas?" He finally focused on me with wide eyes. "What are you doing here?" He can't be serious right now can he?
"This is my tent." I told him bluntly. He looked around again. "Are you forgetting something?" I asked him. He was still confused. "Are you telling me you don't remember what happened last night?" He blinked several times.
"Last night I remember riding to get back to you, and then there was this one dream." He scratch his head looking like he was actually trying to remember. "It was strange; Halt shot you, so I had to pull you out of the way. Then I remember having to shut you up because you were talking too much." He laughed at the last part. It certainly wasn't that funny last night.
"You didn't dream that." I told him darkly. It was the only way I could get my face from heating up again. His eyes opened wide. I crossed my arms and waited to see if he remembered anything else from his dream. If possible his eyes became even wider as he looked where he was sitting. That's what I thought. I gave him a death glare, even shrank a bit still sitting in my bed.
"Sorry." He said awkwardly. Are you kidding me!? At least now I understand that he was only acting like that because he was delirious from sleep deprivation. But still, does he not realise what that did to me last night? Well it wasn't completely terrible, actually it was rather comfortable. No! This is totally inappropriate; I mean what would happen to my Ranger career if Crowley found out. What if Will found out?
"By your horrified expression I bet you're thinking about if Will found out about last night." Gilan laughed. I think my heart stopped beating for a second.
"I don't know what's scarier, the fact that you just read my mind or of what would happen if Will actually did find out." I said trying to sound normal again. How could he be so calm now saying that? Did it not affect him at all? Well he did think it was a dream. Wait does that mean he dreams about me? I shook that thought away. I don't think I could think anymore with more distractions.
He slowly pulled himself off the bed, straightening out his cloak as he did so. I tried not to feel the weird tension in the air as he stood in front of me. He analyzed me from head to toe making my feel self-conscious. "Well it looks like you're still in one piece. Luther hasn't pulled anything on you yet has he?" He sounded suddenly concerned when he mentioned Luther. I thought I over then just shook my head.
"I don't think he has. Maverick and Luther have both told me that they know about my magic. Maverick of course wasn't very good at convincing me to stay and Luther had to hold me in place to get me from running away again."
"He had to hold you in place?" he disapproved I could clearly hear in his tone. "How?" He eyed me suspiciously.
"How?" I repeated, feeling a little awkward having to explain it to him but it was my job to relay information to him. Maybe he would give me some insight. "Well he kind of pinned my arms to my side. The second time he caught me was only because I tripped on my dress again. If he didn't drop his gaze it would've been really hard to pull away from his charm." A strange expression appeared on his face. It was as if he couldn't decide if he wanted to laugh or rip Luther's throat out.
"So he was thinking about kissing you, but you pulled away. " Gilan said taking a step closer to me. "Smart." He mumbled quietly and I could've sworn that he was covering a smile.
"No! He wasn't going to k..k...kiss me!" Gilan closed the distance between us in a single bound and covered my mouth with his hand. I didn't realize that I had raised my voice more than I should have. I relaxed my shoulders. Gilan laughed quietly to himself as he took back his hand. However he didn't step away. I was thinking about taking a step back but Gilan must've read my thoughts again because he put both his hands on my shoulders. He looked directly into my eyes with a soft expression. Just like Luther I was trapped into place. I couldn't move. No I didn't want to move. He then dropped his gaze slightly. I felt my body relax as I was finally able to take a normal sized breath. He no longer had his lock on my eyes meaning I was free to go. Or so I thought. I tried moving away but I could only go as far as his arms would let me because he didn't let go. He laughed to himself again. I was still having troubles breathing and my heart was pounding so hard I was sure he could hear it.
"Was it like that?" He asked arching an eyebrow at me. I figured out what he meant. That was exactly how Luther acted, that's why Gilan was acting like that. That was just a test. So he was trying to kiss me!? I bit my lower lip. Gilan finally let my shoulders go and took a step back turning his face away. Weird it was as if he wasn't able to look at me for some reason. But that wasn't my biggest concern at the moment. My heart still was beating as fast as before but at least I had room to breathe now. What would I do if Luther were to do that again? How could I have not known that he was going to kiss me? This is horrible! How am I supposed to face him now? Which reminds me Luther could be coming any moment and Gilan is still in my tent.
I cleared my throat and licked my suddenly dry lips. It's not like it's hard to say 'get out of my tent before you get caught'. But having him here made it easier to think. That and I didn't have to hide who I really am in front of him. Even though I think I might be slipping a bit.
"Silas?" A voice called from outside. The shadow on the tent plus the voice meant it could only be one person. Luther. I felt my eyes widen as I looked at Gilan, except I didn't like the smile on his face. For some reason it reminded me of Halt. Of course it was only now that I remembered he had important information for me, and it was the whole reason why he was delirious last night. Gilan must have read my expression because in one bound he came close enough to whisper quietly in my ear.
"Maybe next time." I heard his smile. I suddenly hated that smile. It was the same smile that Becks would use when he knew I had to do something I hated, like having to stay at Mrs. Padavick's. I didn't even have time to give him a face before he turned me around to face the figure coming in through the flaps of the tent. A brightly smiling Luther stepped into view. I stiffened realizing that Gilan was still in the room, what if Luther saw him? I forced myself to take a breath in. Luther wouldn't be looking for a Ranger in my room, really that was a stupid thing to worry about.
"What's wrong?" Luther asked taking the opportunity to comfort me. He stroked the hair out of my face tenderly. Again I couldn't breathe. Gilan was still in my tent and probably watching this whole scene. What's worse was that I remembered what Gilan told me what these actions would lead to. I swallowed the lump that formed in my throat. Stop hesitating Silas, he's going to figure that something's up!
"Nnnothing." I managed out. I could feel the heat rising to my cheeks. Luther's smile widened. "I just had difficulties trying to fall asleep last night." I said bluntly, managing to control my emotions back down. Good, the Ranger was back in control. Maybe having Gilan watching will make this easier.
"I'll carry you back if you fall asleep." He said sweetly. My secret blight to Gilan had misfired on me. Luther managed to flash another smile at me. I had to drop my gaze. I heard a small laugh. This was going to be a very long day.
With one hand lightly touching my back he escorted me out of my tent. The sun blinded me as soon as he opened the flaps of the tent. Only after I finished blinking to adjust my eyes that I sensed that there was something different about this morning. Air was cold for summer and an extra amount of dew covered the ground. But the excitement radiating from Luther made me extremely nervous. He practically bounced up and down in his seat as I munched on my breakfast. He hungrily watched me eat making me very uncomfortable, just waiting for me to be finished. I sighed and stuffed the last piece in my mouth. Before I even had the chance to chew and swallow my food Luther grabbed my wrist and pulled me to my feet. I stumbled forwards managing only at the last second to lift the hem of my dress so I wouldn't go flying to my face again. I couldn't afford being in his arms again. Luckily he was too excited to stop to catch me.
"Wait!" He stopped dead in his tracks. Unfortunately this was when I crashed into him. This time however it was Luther that lost his balance. I hid my smile, or at least he didn't notice it. I can't tell what Ranger ability I have lost since wearing this dress, but my controlling my emotions has been quite difficult lately. "I forgot. You'll have to grab your horse, you will need him." Luther said, still smile as if nothing could faze him.
"I thought you two were best friends?" I asked him sarcastically. I wondered if Luther attempted to ride him yet.
"I'm still trying to find his weak spot." He answered with a shrug. Then he flashed me a smile. I looked away before it could reach me. He placed his hands on my shoulders, nearly making me jump. Stirring me back towards my tent he placed me in front of Astrum. I laughed to myself as I saw him take a step back. As I petted Astrum on the neck, I smiled even wider when I saw the unwavering stare he was giving behind me, and I presume that's the spot where Luther was standing.
"Where are we going?" I asked with the reins in my hands.
"You don't get to know just yet." Luther came around me and placed one hand over my eyes. "Now the question is can I trust you to keep your own eyes closed?"
He led me blindly through the camp. I knew exactly where he was leading me because I had nearly ruined the surprise yesterday. I kept my eyes closed because the other option would've given him an excuse to stand even closer. An arm around my back and a hand to guide me was just so I wouldn't trip. I tried to make my breaths even, because being this close made me nervous. I would have to keep space between us from now on. Crowley told me I had to get close, but I highly doubt he meant that. Plus there was no way I was ready for it. Just yesterday I thought I had a pretty good grasp of emotions, and then to find out I had them completely wrong. I don't know what I would do if I didn't have Gilan looking out for me.
Luther stopped pushing me forwards. We had arrived. My curiosity grew even bigger. What could make him this excited? Nothing came to mind. Just then he covered my eyes with one of his hands. "I wasn't peeking you know." I told him firmly.
"I just want to make sure I don't miss your reaction." He replied. "One, two three!" He took a step back and let me open my eyes. At first I was confused of what I was supposed to be looking at. I looked to Luther who had his hands spread wide pointing towards two circular targets twenty meters away from us. A humorous smile came to my lips. As a Ranger this was nothing more than two pieces of wood but Luther didn't know I was a Ranger. It was actually rather sweet. From what I told him about my fake father yesterday he was trying to give me something that was important to me. Even more was the fact that I had an excuse to practice.
I looked to Luther, the smile still on his face in anticipation. He was waiting for my reply. I opened my mouth but nothing came out. That apparently was the best answer to give him because he smiled even wider. He walked over to me. "Speechless. Do you like it?" I nodded not sure if I my voice would fail me again. He wrapped one arm over my shoulder, pulling me in a half circle. "Shall we." He didn't give me a chance to answer.
I thought at first that I should just start with the long bow. That way I would seem less experienced, but grabbed my recurve bow instead. Luther said that he was going to help by teach me with what he knows. I managed not to laugh and just let myself smile wider, but I could've sworn I heard a quiet laugh come from somewhere. Gilan must not have as must composure as I do. Pretending to drop something I found out where Gilan was hiding and shot him a glare in that direction when Luther wasn't looking. He was going to blow this whole charade. But there was one thing that I thought I should practice: shooting while wearing a corset. It's going to be like learning all over again, twice as painful if I might add. Oh, how I hate being a girl sometimes.
Luther guided me to stand right in front of the target. He was still very excited and his actions made me almost laugh. "Let's go for that one." He pointed to the left target almost touching his cheek to mine. He was getting too close again. My heart started beating faster. Worse, he next stood behind me placing his hands on my hands. I could feel every inch of his arms as they circled around me. This could be another reason why he set this up for me. This was very, very bad. I swear he could hear my heartbeat because it was pounding so loudly in my ears I couldn't hear anything else. He was controlling my arms lifting them up pointing the bow right at the target. I might've dropped my bow from him standing this way. Now that I think about it, he actually isn't that experienced in archery. Any teacher would know how he was standing could end up getting hit with an inexperienced shooter. My heart suddenly dropped back into my chest into its normal quiet rhythm. The Ranger was back in control. Moving my fingers secretly I disconnected the notched arrow from the string. "Ready?" He asked in my ear. I felt the Ranger smile on face appear as I nodded.
Skillfully I held onto the arrow and the string with different fingers. It was a good thing that I was purposely tampering with the shot because his aim was terrible. The last time I missed this badly would've been the third time I ever tried shooting. Now it would just be an insult to this weapon. When we reached full draw my plan commenced. I let the back of the arrow slip up just as my fingers released the tension on the string. The arrow fell harmlessly to the ground only a meter away. However that wasn't the part I was focused on. With the uneven balance in my hands my left elbow shot back to compensate. I tried my best not to smile as I felt it jab probably painfully into Luther's chest. Maybe that will tell him that I'm stronger than I look and that he may consider keeping a little distance between us next time. I heard his grunt of pain and quickly recovered, turning around to apologize. Except I didn't plan on him still being that close. Accidently and I do mean accidently this time, when I swung around so did the bow that was in my hands. Either I was way out of practice or my body took over as a reflex but I managed to whack him on the side of his head. I cringed slightly when that sound made it to my ears. Oops.
Running around in a half circle around him, making sure that my bow was farther away than he would be to Astrum. It wasn't the best idea to put a weapon in my hands. I knelt down on my knees so I would be at the same level. Not before showing a wily smile in Gilan's direction, I just couldn't help it. Turning my full attention to Luther any Ranger part of me seemed to have disappeared. I placed my bow on the ground. The hand holding his head had turned red. Had I really hit him that hard? "I'm so sorry Luther." I said not sure what to do. I looked around trying to find something to stop the bleeding with. I ripped the underlay of my dress. Mrs. Padavick would kill me if I ripped any visible part of this dress.
"I'm fine, don't worry." He said laughing it off.
"You're bleeding though." I brushed his hair back and out of the way. With the other hand I peeled his bloodied hand away from the side of his forehead and placed the piece of cloth to his head. "And it was my fault." I mumbled as an afterthought. What if I actually meant to hit him? What if it was because of the crazy idea I had just to so he wouldn't be so close. I couldn't afford to try that again. If I did this accidentally, then what would happen if I tried it purposefully?
Luther placed a hand on my cheek. I looked at him, forgetting that there was a person in front of me. His eyes were warm and inviting, showing no sign of anger towards me, nothing but a slight shimmer. For once it didn't bother me being this close to him. His thumb lightly stroked my cheek bone as he stared into my eyes. "I'm alright." He assured me softly. His thumb gently travelled down the side of my face until it brushed the corner of mouth. "If you wanted to do something for me, I would love to see you smile." He almost whispered. His gaze never left my eyes as he waited.
I forced the edges of my mouth up slightly giving him a small smile. He laughed to himself, dropping his hand and his gaze. Next he pulled my hands away from his head. I was about to protest but stopped the word I was starting when I saw the bleeding had stopped. "You really know how to test a man love." His usual drawl had returned, including the normal mischievous twinkle in his eyes. I looked at him quizzically, completely confused by what he meant. He laughed again helping me up by the hands. "I guess I will have to find a way to make you smile then." Smiling might be a little bit difficult for you Luther. It has never been my strong suit. I don't even remember the last time I really smiled.
I had to force Luther to take a step back when I was practicing archery. Of course I had to aim so it looked like I was slowly improving, there was a plan forming in the back of my mind. I could feel it, but I didn't need it quite yet so it wasn't completely formed. My strength training would still have to be in secret but at least I had an excuse to practice. The boning in my corset did pinch my skin every time I used my bow but I didn't have the chance to practice without it. Crowley would probably put me in a dress again so I might as well learn when I can. I will just have to manage the pain for now.
Archery training was underway but I also got Luther to convince the acrobats to teach me some tricks. It had started the day before my surprise when Luther was trying to keep me distracted. Once I found out that I should wear pants if I wanted to try any of the skills I was sold. I should just become an acrobat full time. It was hard not to get caught up with all the excitement around the camp. Constantly I had to remind myself why I was really here. Information that is my job. Find out everything so I can put a stop to them. The bow in my hands when I was practicing was always a helpful reminder for it.
Then it happened. A lot longer than I thought he was capable of. I didn't have that much patience but he certainly had less. All the performers were at another performance for the town. This would be there last one for this town before we had to pack up and hit the road again. Closing in on two weeks could strain there welcome of chances to be accepted back. Or that's what Luther explained to me before heading out with the rest of the troop. I told him before hand that I was going to stay behind and practice. He looked a little disheartened but let me stay. I took it as an opportunity to try out my long bow. Everyone else was busy with the performance and if there was anyone left they would just think it was the same thing I have been doing all week. I didn't even get to try drawing my bow before I heard a chilling, impossible to forget voice come from behind me.
"I see you have been training hard. It's about time for your real training to begin, isn't it?"
Authors' Note: Who could it be? Just kidding we all know who it is. Well this was quite the chapter wasn't it? Gilan trying to explain men to Silas are always my favorite parts. Luther was also being very cute this chapter. Lutehr luhter... Luther, just can't spell his name right when I'm on a roll Agh! It's getting so hard for me to remember that this is a Gilan/OC story. Just wait for what's coming though... I'm so excited you have no idea. Anyways, maybe it's worth a review... possibly... Even just tell me what your favorite part is. See you next time.
Love, Marie and Gabrielle
YES you are seeing it right! My ideas person has been slacking so I gave that hard task to my other sister. Catherine, there's still room in there for you too if you want back in... Commence the battle over the favorite sister!
Now to my beautiful reviewers,
aRangersHorseLovesApples- Thanks for always reviewing, makes my day :)
elvishrangerwolf- Thanks so much for the review.
Martha Prebble is awesome- It was one of my favorite chapters to write... until this one. Thanks for the review
Yoohooha- Well hopefully I won't have to keep you waiting for the next ones too long. Thanks for the review.
Adrianmna- Don't die... then you can't read the next chapters. Thanks for the review.
PJoHoOFan- Oh just wait the love triangle and the fight between the two men hasn't even started yet... oh no I've said too much. I'll add the Beckett news in next chapter, just didn't fit in this one. Silan... I'll keep it for a ship name and there may be another Gilan POV but I don't know yet. Thanks for the review.
Something like me- There is something about Luther isn't there ;), have to wait and see. Thanks for the review it really means a lot to me.
Daughterofak1ng- Cue for another happy dance! Thanks for the review.
WishingOnMyStar- No they are not going to have a love affair... at least not yet... I won't tell. Thanks for the review.
Latiosus- awesome to see you loving it. Thanks for the review.
Elvishrangerwolf- Two reviews! I really don't deserve that... but it makes me so happy you won't even believe. Eventually she will go to the other camp. Thanks for the review.
Aerodynamic157- Thanks for awesome the review.
Velikaqueenofdragons- sorry for not updating sooner. Thanks for the review and for everything else.
Dropbearbandit- a review and a private message kick in the pants. Give them any time because guilt makes me type faster. Hopefully this can last you until the next chapter. Thanks for the review.
Elvishrangerwolf- my review numbers are going up just because of you I think. Three reviews is just amazing. Thank you for the lovely threats :) and reviews.
Guest- so sad, that I don't have another name to call you so hopefully you know it's for you. Thanks for the review. I started this fanfic for the same reasons.
Wow... some of you guys have to change your names... my fingers are dying here! Love you all!