A/N: In the last chapter I blasted open a door in Zim and Gaz's world. One they have not acknowledged exists. Do they know what to do about it? No. Are they ready for it? Not at all. But Zim now has an opportunity to rebuild once he recovers, but it will probably take time. Gaz has a chance to grow, perhaps for the first time in her armored life, as she tries to take care of someone she now knows she cares for very much. But really, she doesn't know how as she needs to be a healer instead of a doomer for the first time. They are confused, outside of their familiar behavior patterns as those patters no longer apply to the situation they find themselves in.
Also I looked it up. The Voot Cruiser is the slowest, most obsolete vessel in the Irken civilization. I think of it as an Irken version of the old Volkswagen Beetle. So I think I can get away with making other ships faster. Even a lot faster.
Almost forgot: Thanks to Sharpclaws, FanFicNewb, Kaylee Or Something, Zerg170, Madiphan99, MojaveRuler151, Crazyanimefreak15, Kazehana23, LettleEnglishLass, InfiniteReader, and FirestarterFLCL for your reviews.
Gir hauled the new base module over his back in the darkness to the coordinates Computer kept providing him. The module had arrived earlier via a disposable asteroid-delivery drone. Unlike the pen-sized base module Zim had when he first arrived, this module was about four feet square, and obviously alien. The robot had not taken off his dog disguise, and was also wearing his leash. He understood the local pet-leash law, that he had to be on one while outdoors in public, but not that someone had to be holding the other end. So the end that was normally being held by an owner was currently in his mouth.
The robot arrived at the coordinates. It was near the city's small airport. The human facility was large enough to land most jet aircraft, such as the commuter airliners, but was small enough to only be manned during daylight hours. Around Gir was an area between the airport and a lake. This area was zoned as safety buffer against development for business and residential purposes due to the risk factor of student pilots not using the runway to land. Also to prevent the temptation of dropping rolls of toilet paper on houses during landing.
The large module was placed on the ground in the wooded area. "Gir," Computer radioed in. "Last priority four instruction: You must now press the blinking red button on the top of the device and return to the base quickly."
Gir pressed the only button on the device and rocketed away back to Zim's base. After a few minutes of nothing happening, pieces of the module began to glow as the programmed instructions Computer had installed while Gir transported the device were executed. The largest piece of the base module was a single use matter transmutation building array, located on the bottom. Underneath the module and along the two airport runways a rectangle of earth, nearly three thousand feet long by one thousand feet wide and half of that over five hundred feet deep, vanished.
The module hung silently in the air, then descended into the fresh pit. Once at the bottom, the device began to expand, unfold, and deploy other sections as the atoms that were now being recycled were used to fabricate the new foundations and structures or was converted into energy for the building array. The power surge caused the city to black out for several hours, but as most everyone was in bed asleep, or sleeping on the job, no one would notice anything other than that most of their appliances were still blinking 12:00am from the last power outage. For some reason it happened fairly regularly in this city.
The next morning when airport staff returned to work, a few saw a facility running parallel to the runways. It was odd that they couldn't recall when they had first seen it. After all not even the Army Corp of Engineers could construct a Naval Air Station in one night. Or could they? The government did tend to be wasteful with it's tax money, and acted like if one could throw enough into a wasteful project they could accomplish anything.
So the staff prepared for their shifts while complaining about their government's stupidity as was the duty of every American citizen. After all, who in their right mind would place a Naval Air Station next to a small lake, but over a thousand miles from any ocean? And who ever was in charge needed to develop their imagination. The large sign above the maximum security gate, accompanying the guard posts and razor-wire fencing read "Irken Military Base." What kind of name was Irken? He wasn't anybody anyone had ever heard of before.
Dib sat in his class, but he couldn't concentrate on the lesson. That he was very worried about his sister did not need to be stated. But he was very confused as well. His first impulse was always to suspect that Zim had done some mind control experiment on her or had some other nefarious scheme in the works. That Gaz was tough and clearly able to take care of herself never seemed to be able to penetrate his imagination. But he did know Gaz, and the girl he had talked to last night was definitely herself. Different, yes, but not altered. She was still every bit the Gaz he knew.
Gaz also was no liar. She had no need. Lies and bluffs actually detracted from her ability to intimidate. If she said she was in command of Zim's base, it was a fact. But he could not imagine how that could be. Sure, it had vulnerabilities, but Dib and Zim's constantly trying to infiltrate, spy, sabotage, or on occasion even attack one another had eliminated many of them. However, even with a few vulnerable spots, a total takeover was impossible, especially when it came to the base defense systems. Then there was the fact that Zim would not just hand his base and its technology over to any human. He wouldn't do that for an Irken!
He had seen with his own eyes Gaz commanding Gir as if he was his sister's own SIR unit. Dib had many times used insanity logic to get Gir to do what he wanted, but only Zim could issue direct commands. And now it seemed Gaz could too. She had also said that there would be activity going on, that this was her doing. This morning his computer records showed a massive power spike during the night, so big it was more than what Dib's anti-Zim early warning system could measure.
Dib did not understand what was happening, he didn't have all the pieces of the puzzle yet. He knew what he wanted to believe, that it was all a trick. That Zim's mission being other than it's face value was difficult in the extreme to even imagine. But Dib was also a paranormal investigator. His primary duty was the truth, but what was the truth here? He didn't honestly know. Gaz didn't lie, but she could be mistaken.
Gaz slowly awoke to a slightly swaying hammock and arms holding her tightly. She also awoke to the most awful stench. That stench was her. She could almost feel the stink waves radiating from her weary body. But she could also feel the rise and fall of an alien chest her cheek was resting on. "Zim?" she groaned as she raised her head. Her costume antennae flicked against a chin.
"Still here, Gaz-partner," came the reply, "just like Zim promised."
Gaz looked up into the alien's face. Zim looked terrible. Black bags hung under his eyes, which themselves lacked a light that had always been there. His antennae were tucked far behind his head. But underneath all that read misery was a certain something that could not be defined, nor pointed to exactly. Like the last glimmer of a fire just before going out, there was a thread that Zim was hanging onto inside himself. And he was looking into that thread's amber and very human eyes.
"I'm a mess, and reek like a skunk trapped in a shoebox," the green girl commented.
"Yes, you are most unattractive right now."
"I'm not exactly attracted to you either," Gaz retorted, and immediately regretted it. She didn't want to hurt Zim, especially not now. "Zim. That came out wrong. What I said last night. I… I meant it." She was struggling against her own internal defenses and ingrained habits. "I think that… after mom forgot me… I started putting barriers up against everyone else. It's been like that most of my life. I can't bring them down overnight. I meant what I said, Zim. But I'm not ready for more yet."
"Zim understands. Irkens are taught that they need no one. Zim has lived by that phrase all his life too."
Gaz needs only herself. Zim needs no one. Both lived by that for so long. But holding onto each other all that night as they fought off their own personal nightmares, they now knew that for the giant lie it was. Some people need many, some need few. But everyone needs someone. Even a former Invader. Even a purple haired girl with a skull necklace.
"Zim?" she asked, putting her head back onto the reassurance of the rise and fall of his chest. "How long was I out?"
"Fourteen hours," was the answer. "You had suffered shocks as well as Zim."
"For fourteen hours you've held on tight to a messy filthy human? My stink must be overwhelming."
"Yes. And Zim's olfactory receptors are not buried in the middle of his face like yours are."
"I must be pretty disgusting right now," she said.
"Gaz-partner does not disgust Zim. You almost had three more nightmares after you fell back asleep. Zim has had to talk to you many times."
Gaz thought that she was the one who was supposed to look out for Zim, but it was Zim who was doing most of the looking after on that night. In fact it was mid-afternoon.
Zim continued in a very low voice. "Plus Zim is very miserable and a disgrace to his people. A deviant cast out to live among lowly dirt-humans. Why should he mind messes and filth?"
Gaz sat up, cross at the unintended insult, despite the fact that she was indeed a filthy human in a very literal sense. "Zim, cut that out. You have deserved much better than what you've gotten from Irk. Have you forgotten that you have defeated your own military on accident, as well as everyone they sent to mess with you? That is why they had to send you away. Because you couldn't be beaten. You couldn't quit. You either devastated them or kept coming back. You did all that with a malfunctioning PAK while they all had acceptable ones. Finally they had to use your own loyalty and dedication toward your Tallest and military service against you. Don't you see, Zim? The only one who can beat you is you."
She continued. "Zim, I know you hate this planet. I don't think much of it either. I know you think of humans as inferior and filthy dirt creatures who couldn't hold a sharp stick without poking both their eyes out. Some of the time I feel the same way. I know it's not much, but this is your planet now. Your home. Maybe you don't realize it, but you are part of a human family now." Gaz began to sniff a little, fingering her bonding necklace. "You even have a human bondmate."
Zim realized what his words had implied. He had said them, not with the usual malice, but out of his feelings of tremendous dejection. He certainly did not include Gaz in them. "Zim is struggling. Please forgive." He held out a hand and drew Gaz back to him.
"Zim forgets you are human at times. He is too familiar with you to not see beyond your surface. This is something Zim is not supposed to be able to do. He does not group you along with the rest of the humans. Gaz-partner, Zim finds you to be remarkable, exceptional. Zim even prefers your company to other Irkens. Do you know that when Zim first saw you in your costume, that he thought if you had been Irken you would have been not just an Invader, but one of the greats? Zim even had to catch himself from saying that you were… beautiful."
Gaz took in a breath, and the alien kept going. "When the Tallest said the only way to fix things was to end your existence, do you know that there was no choice at all for Zim? That he had to stand up for you against the standards of his people? Do you understand what Zim openly admitted to his Tallest for all to hear?"
The girl shook her head. She had a most basic human idea, but that was all. She didn't have the Irken perspective. He had said he was in the second stage of a bonding process. She looked at Zim as he gave an answer. "That Zim was truly a deviant. That he preferred a human rather than an Irken to be his bondmate. To Irken hearing, just being in the second stage of this bond implies intention because there are only three stages Irkens go through in this process. And we were already officially bonded by the necklaces."
Gaz couldn't help gasp again. The human version of that story had some very ugly names to go along with it. Then the sick jokes and ridicule. And that was the pleasant side. Because what Irkens would have heard was that Zim had the intention of pursuing and proposing to an inferior human if they hadn't already been officially bonded. That he was seeking an inferior to be his… her mind couldn't go there yet. Not even close to ready for that. But Zim hadn't just admitted it. He had practically done so with what could almost be called determined pride, and threw it in their faces.
She had once been stunned to learn that Zim would not trade the whole Earth for her. But last night Zim had just traded his place, poor as it was, within his entire civilization. He traded his homeworld, his people for Gaz. He had given up everything to protect her from what his lazy Tallest wanted Zim to do to fix the problem, knowing what his people would think of him. There was no going back, ever.
"Zim? We're more than friends now, aren't we?" she asked. Gaz felt a shrug beside her. He wouldn't understand that. The concept of friendship was alien to him. "More than just companions, teammates. A lot more. Perhaps more than just partners even. I don't know what we are anymore." She paused. "Zim, do Irkens have a point of no return in this sort of thing?"
She felt Zim nod. This wasn't exactly his area of expertise and he was still overwhelmed. Talking seemed to help a little, but he was reaching a limit again and was now quiet. But earlier Zim had said that Irkens bonded for life. "I think I do too. Perhaps not like yours because I'm human. But I can't leave you. Can't abandon you like others have done to me, even if I wanted to. I'm past my point of no return, Zim. Even if we aren't ready for more, I care about you too much now to go back. I guess if you are considered a deviant, then perhaps I am too."
There was another long pause.
"Zim. Not all humans are the same. Membranes have always tended to be either special or extraordinary like my dad, even though we have many flaws to go with it. And we humans have a tradition you may not realize. You have become part of our family. So you're a Membrane now. It's not much, and we hardly ever agree on anything and fight constantly, and sometimes we hate it, but we're family. You have lost a lot, but you're not alone Zim Membrane. You are my family."
Neither of them were really up to thinking of the implications of all this. But talking felt good even if they couldn't open up to the wider insinuations yet, and helped to cope some with what was happening. Plus it helped to distract from the odor Gaz was still giving off. They stayed in the Hammock for several more minutes before Gaz decided she just had to get up before she developed sores on her skin.
"Gir? Are you around?" she asked.
"Yes, Mistress Gazzy," came the reply from directly underneath them. Gir was crawling out from under the hammock.
Some how Gaz was not surprised. "Gir, could you go get me a pail of warm water and make us something to eat while we get cleaned up?"
"I'll make waffles!" Gir declared. With that he wandered off.
Gaz crawled out of the Hammock and onto her feet. She then helped pull Zim up onto his own feet. "Come on, Zim. We need to clean up or we'll be in even worse shape. You can do that on your own, right? I need to go in another room to wash up."
Zim nodded and stepped over to retrieve a nearby bar of cleansing chalk as Gaz dropped the dirty blanket on the floor and gathered some comfort clothes and other garments from her suitcase. A black sweater and sweat pants. Plus a wash cloth. She doubted Zim had a working shower around so Gaz would have to make do with a sponge style bath with the cleansing gel and wash her hair in the kitchen sink. By then Gir would hopefully have an edible afternoon breakfast finished. They had been running on empty for far too long.
After eating their extremely late breakfast, Gaz asked Gir to clear the table. She had managed to wash out the fake antennae, but the green skin dye was a more limited success. Even with the cleansing gel, a wash cloth and a bucket wasn't up for the job. There were green streaks, lines and blotches all over her, but most of the blotches were covered up by her clothes. She still looked a bit of a mess, but at least the putrid odor was gone.
She left Gir to dispose of the dirty dishes, however he did that. Hopefully it involved cleaning them. Computer interrupted what ever she was going to do next. "Master, Mistress. An Irken fast courier ship is approaching the house. ETA five minutes. It has a delivery."
"Here, Zim sit down," she said, directing Zim to the couch. "Let me take care of this, okay? I think I can handle a delivery. Just take it easy today. You've been through enough."
Zim nodded his consent and took a position on the couch. Gaz sat with him, waiting for the arrival. They didn't know what to expect. Eventually a knock sounded at the door. Gaz got up. "Who is it?" she called out.
"Special delivery from Tallest Red and Purple for Governor Zim and Lady Gaz," came the muffled answer.
"Computer, scan outside the door," Gaz commanded. "Is there anything dangerous?"
"Negative. I read two minimal signatures. Small Irken power supplies in standby mode."
Gaz quietly opened the door to see a small Irken with a hand lift carrying two brown packages. One was a two foot box. The other stacked vertically behind it was about four feet high. On the street was an Irken version of a medium sized moving van. Without wheels and floating above the pavement and that had just flown in from the sky. What was it with people in this city? They never noticed anything. Maybe it was something in the water.
The small Irken was reading his paperwork on a computer Pad and had not seen the door open. Gaz cleared her throat. The Irken looked from his Pad and straight at her thighs. Then he gazed upward to find where her head was located. She was on the shorter side as humans go, but she towered above this Irken.
"Lady Gaz! I did not expect you to personally come to pick up a delivery yourself. It is a privilege."
This response was a bit of a surprise to Gaz. "You recognize me?"
"Of course. We all saw you on last night's broadcast. You're as famous as Zim is!"
This did not help Gaz's mood. "Infamous is more like it," she muttered.
"You are the only non-Irken to be granted Irken citizenship and bonded to a governor. You were also made Lady of an entire planet, by the Tallest themselves! There are only a few hundred bondmates in all of Irk! And you are a Taller. Of course you are famous."
She turned her attention to the Irken. It almost sounded like he looked up to her, and not in a literal sense, which he was also doing. "How come you are making deliveries? I thought all Irkens were running around conquering the galaxy."
The Irken looked back down at his Pad. "Most are. Others of us are deemed undesirable and rejected for service by the control brains. We are assigned to menial support jobs that aren't entrusted to non-Irkens. Plus we are cheaper than robots. So I was programmed for logistical delivery instead. Sign here, please."
"What makes you unsuitable? I see nothing wrong with you." Gaz asked, signing for the packages.
"I am a quarter inch too short," the Irken replied with sadness.
Gaz paused after signing the form at the indicated space. "That is so…" She caught herself before she could go on. "What does height have to do with anything?"
The Irken below her just stared at her. She had clearly blown his mind. Gaz returned the Pad to the Irken. "Where do you want these taken?" he asked, recovering quickly.
"The living room is fine," she instructed.
The Irken pulled the hand lift carrying the packages into the living room and deposited them in the middle of the floor. He had been looking only at the floor to prevent the lift from catching on anything. He looked up and saw Zim sitting on the couch. "Governor Zim! You're a taller too! I can't believe I got to meet both of you! No one will believe me! Can I have your autographs? Please?"
Zim turned a confused look toward Gaz, who nodded. Zim took the small book and writing rod held out to him from the Irken. He signed his new full name: Governor Zim Membrane. Gaz took them and signed her own name, then returned it to the Irken who seemed almost ready to burst with joy. She nodded a thanks to Zim and escorted the small Irken out the door and off the property.
The Irken climbed back into the delivery ship. Gaz spoke up before he lowered the canopy. "I wish to ask you a question."
"Of course, Lady Gaz. Anything."
"Why do you seem so joyful at meeting us? We thought every Irken would think we are, well, contemptible if not sickening."
The Irken seemed to grow a bit nervous. "Lady Gaz, the vast majority do. But some of us smallest could see what happened. We saw you stand up to the Tallest in Zim's behalf. No Irken does this. Not for us undesirables. We saw that you have concern for an Irken defective. All non-Irkens hate us, especially the lowest ones because we are the easiest to get to. It may be distasteful but it is understandable that if Zim started a bond, it would be not be with an Irken. He did not have a choice when it did happen. He has been cut off from his own kind."
He explained further. "We may be smallest, that doesn't make us stupid. Some of us actually look up to Zim because he should be the lowest of the low, yet he always beats the odds every time. The most of us can't."
"Thank you," Gaz said. "He'll be glad to hear someone from his world thinks so."
Gaz went back inside as the delivery ship rose into the sky and out of sight. As usual, no one noticed a thing.
"What was that all about?" Zim asked as Gaz closed the front door.
She turned to look at him. "It seems that not all Irkens hate you, Zim. That one was one of the few that look up to you."
Zim didn't say anything. At the moment he didn't know how to accept the knowledge. His view of things had been torn apart and he was still trying to recover. Plus those mystery packages were still looming in the middle of the living room. He got up off the couch and began helping Gaz unwrap the packages. Zim worked on the larger one and Gaz took the smaller box.
Once the box was opened and the packing material removed, Gaz backed away quickly with huge eyes. "Zim!" she cried.
Dib had told her some things about it, but she was completely unfamiliar with the device in this state. But she heard in his evil-alien rants that this thing could seek and attach on its own. She had already had that experience with her necklace. Zim hadn't finished unpacking the larger box yet. But on hearing Gaz's cry he leapt back, four spider limbs from his PAK pointing at the smaller upturned carton and charging up to fire.
Sticking halfway out of the overturned parcel was an Irken PAK. It was meant for Gaz.
After a full minute of nothing happening, Zim retracted his PAK's spider limbs. "Gaz-partner, it is okay. The PAK is not active. Gir! Remove this PAK and place it in the bio-hazard bay!"
A red eyed Gir in commando mode came in to the room from the kitchen and saluted. "Yes, Master. I obey!" His Mistress Gazzy's well being had just been threatened. The robot took the PAK and disappeared down an elevator with it.
"Computer! Conduct a thorough examination. Make absolutely sure it is only what it appears to be and not a greater threat to my Gaz-partner. Zim does not want any surprises hidden inside."
Computer acknowledged, and Zim went to Gaz. They didn't say anything. Both were looking at the four foot tall package still standing in the living room. They looked at each other briefly and stepped up to the wrapped object. Brown wrapping was removed and packing material pulled away. Zim stepped back once more, unable to take his eyes off of the thing before him.
Gaz looked at it, circling around the device. Once the packing material was removed, the apparatus was about three and a half feet high and looked sort of like a large Earth blender without the spinning blades. The transparent cylindrical tube that made up most of the object was completely filled with a green liquid and seemed self-contained.
"Zim? What is it?" she asked. Dealing with the surprise of the new PAK had brought Zim back for a moment, but he seemed to be deteriorating once more as he stared at the device.
He looked at her with an odd expression. "Why? Why must they distress Zim?"
"Zim, tell me what this thing is," Gaz said, moving to stand next to him.
"It… it's a smeet chamber."
Talk about not being ready for something. Even Gaz's mind shut down for a minute.
She pulled Zim away and took the elevators down in to the base, just to get him away from the sight. She sat him down on his hammock and sat next to him. "Zim, you were grown in one of those, weren't you?"
He nodded.
"Zim, try not to let it get to you. It was a sick prank, and your Tallest are acting like human teenagers." To an Irken that was a grave insult, but it fit.
Zim turned to Gaz. "Gaz-partner, why are you crying?"
"Crying? Zim, I'm not cry-" she touched near her eyelid and wiped away unexpected moisture. "Zim, what's going on with me?"
Zim didn't answer for a moment. "Perhaps the chamber reminded you of something in your own culture."
Gaz mentally scoffed at the idea. Humans didn't grow in smeet chambers. They grew in human mothers. There was nothing in human cul-. Then it hit her. It wasn't culture, or uncomfortable ideas, or even a sick joke. It was inborn female instinct woven in her DNA. It may not be active for several years yet, but even Gaz had a maternal instinct. Something in her was crying for something that would now never happen.
"Zim? It's not culture. It's biology." Gaz carefully said. It was a most uncomfortable subject, but she could skirt around the edges enough to explain. "I'm a human female, and part of me is designed to be like that smeet chamber. I think my future instincts are mourning for something that will never happen. I'm bonded to someone who isn't my species. I'll never, um…"
"Zim does not understand personally, but understands instinct and programming. Is it a part of you that hasn't developed yet realizing has lost its purpose for existing? Useless?"
The girl thought for a moment. She guessed it was close enough. "Yeah, something like that." Gaz paused and continued. "Zim, I don't want to be just the doomer I was. It costs too much now."
The alien looked around the room. It was ironic that this conversation was taking place in this lab, or maybe it was just the perfect place. He turned to look at his bondmate. They were both having a tough time. But he once decided to protect her from loss. It was a minor thing, uncomfortable to contemplate at this time, but there was something he could do.
"Gaz-partner. Dry your eyes and come back in about an hour."
"Okay, Zim," Gaz replied. "I think I feel like sending a message to your Tallest about their gift."
"Don't do anything drastic," Zim advised. "You are a citizen now. They are your Tallest too. Be careful."
"Same to you, Zim," she replied as she walked out.
Gaz entered the computer lab. "Computer, have the delivery ship recalled at once. And bring up an inventory of scrapped devices. Zim gave me a power cell once and I can't remember what it was from. Once I find it, have Gir bring it up to the living room with some wrapping paper and ribbon. I want to send a present to the Tallest."
It didn't take long to find the device she was thinking of, as it was listed under 'B.' Gaz headed up to the living room.
The door knocked once more, and Gaz opened it again. The delivery Irken looked up at her. Her eyes were red and puffy. "Lady Gaz! What is wrong? Did I break something?"
"No, you did your job well. Come on in. We're almost ready." She waved the Irken inside before the neighbors could see. Not that they ever would, but still it wouldn't do to have an obvious alien hanging around Zim's front door.
The Irken stepped inside and stopped at the sight, nervous. He had never seen a SIR unit before. They were supposed to be the most fierce, destructive, and ruthless robots ever created. Their workings and capabilities were so secret they were only entrusted to Invaders.
It was wearing some decorative wrapping paper and a bow. "Look, Mistress Gazzy! I'm a happy meal!" the robot cried out.
There seemed to be something wrong with this particular SIR unit.
"That's nice, Gir," the human said as she sat back down and finished putting the final touches on wrapping her package.
"Lady Gaz, is that what they sent you?" asked the Irken, looking at the smeet chamber.
"Yeah," she muttered in a dark voice. "We don't think it's funny. At all."
The Irken looked back at Lady Gaz. "Why would they send you a smeet chamber? It's not like you can-" His voice froze at the look he was receiving from the human.
But after a moment she looked down at the floor. "I know, but to them it's a sick joke. Zim is having enough difficulty without this."
The Irken could see that this human was suffering too. "You care for Zim even though he is a defect." he commented once more.
When the human looked back at him, there was a small tear in her eye. "I think he has a malfunctioning PAK and it doesn't stop him. And also he cares for me in his own way. I find myself caring more for him every day and am unable to turn back."
This Irken did not really understand. "What is that like?" he asked. It seemed strange.
"What's your name?" she asked instead.
"Beed. But most Tallers call me Bad."
Gaz stood up and handed him the package. It rattled and seemed to be broken. "Beed, take this straight to the Massive. Give it to someone who will take it to the Tallest and undock at once. Then go back to your job." She handed him a set of travel orders. "If you find yourself in trouble, use this to come back here. We will cover the expense. I'm sure we can find something for you to do around here."
Beed turned with the package under his arm to leave.
"And that, Beed, is a little of what it feels like to be cared for, even though you are a smaller."
The door closed behind him. Never could he have ever imagined that a taller would even take time to think about looking out for a smaller like him. For an Irken smallest this was like a miracle. He could be at the Massive in about an hour if he used the wormhole drive of his fast courier ship. A package from a planetary Governor (or Lady) to the Tallest were priority assignments after all. Especially this one.
Gaz asked the computer to move the smeet chamber to the medical bay and for Gir to clean up the discarded wrappings on the floor. She let herself show a faint smile. No, she wasn't just a doomer anymore. That shell had been broken open. But it was good to be able to pull it out when it was needed. Plus being nice to the unwanted underlings could cause headaches for other tallers later on. Every snowball started small, but if they rolled on long enough they could smash a car flat.
Gaz walked back down to the computer lab and sat down for the first time without someone falling apart on her or needing her in who knows how long. She had a little time to herself. But all this was taking a toll on her as well. She pulled a card out of her pocket. Gaz was in over her head in many ways, and had been thinking about this. She might not get another chance.
"Computer, I don't know how this all works but I'd like to place an international call to England. I could use some human advice right now."
"Yes, Mistress. Just give me the number and I will route it through here."
She read off the number on the card. "Thank you, Computer. Um, could I have a bit of privacy?"
"Of course, Mistress. Just press a key when you need me."
Over the speakers Gaz could hear a tone, then ringing. She was very nervous.
The phone rang, waking the man up. He moaned and looked at the clock. He had been asleep for only an hour. Not only that, but he had just got home from a very long trip. He was not amused. He picked up his phone and answered it. It had better not be the base. He had another day on leave and it had better not be canceled.
"Hello?" he groggily mumbled, trying to rub the sleep from his eyes.
"Um, Hello? Uh, I hope I have the right number. But someone gave me this card and said if I needed help with a soldier to call and talk to his wife."
"Listen, it's almost midnight here. Could you please tell me your name?" he asked.
"This is Gaz. I was under the name 'The Wind.'"
The first name didn't ring any bells at that time of night, but the second name woke Alpha of CWZ's Razor Squadron up. "Wind, is that really you?"
"Alpha?"
"Are you alright?"
"Not really. Actually, Zim and I have been in crisis mode since we last saw you. This is the first time I've had a chance to talk to someone. He's in bad shape and I don't know what I'm doing." There was a sniff on the other end of the line.
"Okay, just hang on a minute." Alpha rolled over and began nudging his wife.
She slapped his hand away in sleepiness, and told him to go away.
He kept prodding her. "Love, it's for you. Sounds like a wife emergency. Her guy is in bad shape."
The woman slowly sat up and took the phone. "Hello? What's your name, Hon?"
"It's Gaz. I… I don't know how to do this or what to say. There are things I can't talk about. I don't even know what to call you."
"It's okay. Call me Mrs. Alpha. I can understand that you have to keep some things secret. I do too. It comes with being married into the military. How long have you known him?"
"Most of my life. He's a, um, foreign exchange student that transferred in when we were in elementary skool. He's been here ever since."
"You know him well?" Mrs. Alpha asked.
"Better than anyone else on this planet," came the answer.
"What is he to you right now?"
"I don't understand. He's been hurt by his own people. I've always been a doomer, not a healer."
"Doomer?"
"Enforcer. I didn't like anybody. Wanted to be left alone and punished those who bothered or annoyed me."
"I see," Mrs. Alpha said. She didn't really. "I guess what I'm asking is what your relationship is."
"It's complicated. He became my friend last week. We've been partners. Good ones. We, um, got married last night by accident. He tried to get help to fix the paperwork, but his leaders turned on him. The lazy scumbags told him that since they bond for life that he would have to dispose of me-"
Mrs. Alpha's eyes practically exploded wide at that. "You mean-"
"Yeah. He stood up for me, said he couldn't, that he was compelled to protect me. He's not supposed to be able to care like that. So they just changed his mission and made it so that he'd stay in his exile forever. Made me a citizen and gave me a title of Lady and cut us off. He started to look into it, and saw that he was a defective, and defectives are supposed to be destroyed. His whole world collapsed and I wasn't sure he would survive the night. I did what I could do, arranged for supplies and things he'd need. But I fell apart too and he ended up taking care of me all through the night and morning as I slept-"
Mrs. Alpha had flung her bedsheets off and hurried down the stairs. Alpha followed, seeing his wife start a large pot of coffee. What ever was going on was really bad.
His wife stopped the rambling on the other end of the line. "Hon, hon. Slow down. Now take a deep breath. How old are you?"
"Seventeen," came the reply.
Mrs. Alpha's stomach fell to her feet. "And him?"
"To be honest, none of us know. His records say eighteen."
Mrs. Alpha covered the pickup of the phone and looked at her husband. "My god. Alpha, they're just kids!" She turned her attention back to the phone. "Okay, honey. Let's start at the beginning."
As she listened, she didn't just listen to the words. She could hear the familiar pauses when secrets one lived with everyday required a spur of the moment cover story that stayed true to the situation. This girl was a veteran at this, that was obvious. She began writing short phrases on a notepad so Alpha could follow the plot.
Guy experimented on. Trained from walking age. Child soldier. Infiltrator, special unit. Experiment defective, should have been terminated. Type of soldier you want fighting for other side. Quit first banishment. Sent on fake mission to keep exiled. Never meant to succeed. Cover Up. Abandoned. Never knew. She stopped writing as the story and occasional cover story grew more complex and secrets caused it to become more fragmented. It sounded difficult to believe.
"Excuse me, honey. I need to ask my husband something." She turned to Alpha, holding a hand over the phone. "You met these kids? What's your take on the guy?"
"He's been well trained. No one at the convention could stand against those two. He has experience. Most likely wounded or hurt, had reconstructive surgery. We got the feeling that he's one of those people that don't officially exist. Real black ops stuff. The burn-before-reading then self-terminate sort of classified. They called him the Whirlwind for a reason at the convention. He's protective of her with a maximum use of force sort of mentality, and that was just in the game. The others said she was armed with hand weapons in her boots so she is tough. We all had bets on them being married before we even met them."
"You have pictures of them?"
Alpha went and came back with a laptop. He had loaded his cell phone pictures before his flight home. He brought them up, flipping through them. He hadn't really taken any of these two. There were only a couple taken when his team was walking with them up and down the main platform. He brought up one and turned the computer to show his wife.
She looked at it. A happy costumed young lady was with an excited costumed young man. They did look pretty close. But the girl's expression held a bit of trepidation. She used the touchpad to enlarge a section around her neck. The shot zoomed in to show a bit of thick black necklace showing from under the uniform.
"Alpha, do you have one from behind? In an earlier ramble she said something about a backpack."
Alpha clicked on the previous picture. Why did his wife want a look at that?
She looked closer and closer at the screen. "Alpha, there are no straps on that backpack. It's not sewn into his clothing, and the clothes aren't sagging from the weight. Alpha! It looks like it's held in place by his spine! She's holding back a lot, and there is plenty of cover stuff in her speech. But I believe her. She's not making up their story."
Oh crap! Alpha thought. He quickly deleted the photos and began repartitioning the hard drive. "Love, this phone call did not happen. I'll go to the base tomorrow and have the phone's entire memory wiped. We never saw this. Understand?" Whatever was going on was so far into black operations that just an accidental photo anywhere would land one in a whole world of trouble they wanted no part of. "Just… just help the girl, Love. Whatever is happening, she's so far into it there's no way out for her. So no more background and forget what you did not hear. We don't want to join them if they have to go into hiding."
Mrs. Alpha's eyes widened. Her husband was not the conspiracy sort, nor the type to freak out lightly. But this had him very alarmed. She nodded.
"Honey, what do you want to do?" she said.
"I want to help him get better. I want to help him build a new life. I'm all he has left."
"You know you are too young, and not prepared. Has he, um, made any demands of you? Like you moving in? Uh, other things?"
"No! Of course not. He wouldn't. He's less ready for that life than I am."
Mrs. Alpha let out a sigh of relief. "Okay. Now listen to me. You understand more than you think you do. You know what you're not ready for, and know better than to try to move too fast. That's very good. But you have to make some decisions right now. As hard and uncomfortable as it may be, you have to set a course for yourself before you can help him. False or half-hearted hopes, or indecision could do far more damage that what has all ready been done. You don't want to lead him on even by accident.
"I'm not going to sugar coat this. However it happened, you are his wife and he is your husband. Do you want to one day build that life with him? Or do want to go your separate ways when this is over?"
"I..I can't leave him." the small voice at the other end of the line said.
"That's not what I asked. Do you want him to one day be a real husband for you?"
"I care so much, but until two weeks ago I didn't even want friends! I spent my life barricading myself from caring about anyone. But I can't anymore."
"Hey, there." The girl seemed on the edge of defensive panic whenever an inner barrier was approached. "Even I can hear how much you love him, and don't deny it. Just because you're not in love with him doesn't mean you don't love. Being in love with someone takes time. Lots of time. You haven't had that yet. Let me try rephrasing the question. Can you imagine a life without him?"
Gaz sat before Computer in silence. The question brought back a particular vision of her recent nightmare. "I… had a nightmare last night. I found… Zim's… he was lying in a street. He was… was... Even in my dream my world fell apart and I kept screaming and screaming and I couldn't wake up. Zim woke me up. He held me and comforted me even though his own life had just been destroyed. I can't go back."
The voice on the other end said in a comforting tone "Do you want to share a life with him? It's test and trials? It's joys and blessings? Do you want to be his wife for real, not today, but when the time does come?"
Gaz looked deep inside herself. She didn't speak for two minutes. "Yes. I do. I love him. I don't want a life without him."
"Then just be what you are now, whatever that is. Don't force things to happen. Don't try to go fast or slow. Let it be natural for you, whatever that may be. Help him just keep putting one foot in front of the other. Keep him going, even if it's just going through the motions. Help him with his chores, hobbies, some activity." came the counsel.
"We both have these keepsake drawers. Notes and stuff between us over the years. They're almost identical. I have a scrapbook and thought we could put them together," Gaz said.
"Oh, honey. That is good. Real good. You two seem to have a very fine foundation to build on. As messed up as the situation has been or how he came into your life, few people have it as good. Trust me on that."
The voice on the other end continued. "Now, be there if he needs to talk. It doesn't matter if you don't understand, just let him talk if he needs to. If he speaks out of line a little, and I mean if he doesn't realize what he implied or said, be easy with him. Count to ten or something. But be firm if its needed. Be his guide for the next step, not the whole journey. Only he can figure that part out."
"Thank you. I need to go now. I won't forget this."
On board the Massive, Red and Purple were kicking back and relaxing, enjoying a Zim free day. One of the crewmen came forward with a wrapped package. "Delivery from Lady Gaz of Earth to the Tallest."
"Oooooh." The both said in anticipation.
Purple shook it. There were the sounds of unhealthy rattling inside. "Sound's broken," he commented.
Purple ripped off the blue bow and decorative wrapping paper. He pulled off the top and nothing happened for a second. Then a brief shower of confetti burst up into the air. Purple reached in and picked up the note that was inside.
Dear Tallest. I have found the smeet chamber you sent us to be a rather sick joke at our expense. I am not laughing. Leave Zim alone and you may never have to hear from us again. Or perhaps next time I won't accidentally dropkick one of these. Next time it will be accidentally powered up and armed. You know how we humans are stupid like that.
Lady Gaz Membrane.
Red took out the smashed Black Hole Projector from the box. He looked at Purple. "Okay, even I have to admit the girl has talent. Too bad she's just human. At least she is Zim's problem."
On Irk in a snack bar was a crowd of various sized off-duty Irkens. It was loud and obnoxious. A few were crude guards making derogatory jokes. More and more were about the latest Zim broadcast. Many included Lady Gaz. In one corner was where the smallest ones were collected, because it was the worst place in the building and no one else wanted it. One small Irken got up to leave. He had enough.
"Where are you going? It's still early," one of the other smallest asked.
"I can't stand to listen to those bruisers talk garbage about Lady Gaz like this. They don't know anything and are just muscle without a control brain. I'm going for some air."
Another spoke up. "Yeah, like you know anything either. Even though she stood up a little for Zim, she hardly moved or spoke on the broadcast. You can't know anything from that."
"Hah! Shows what you know," the standing smallest spoke out. "I actually met her today on my delivery route! She actually stopped to talk with me. She gave me her autograph and helped get Zim's too!"
"Signing for a package and told to get lost does not count as an autograph."
An autograph book was produced with two long signatures inside. One of them was definitely not written by an Irken hand.
"That can't be real, Beed. Why would she?"
"What, you want to see for yourself? I can prove it all."
With that, smallest Beed pulled a Pad from his PAK and plugged a small thin spider limb into it. His memories of the encounter recorded by his PAK started to play back. More smallests came to see what was going on, and Beed had to restart the recording several times.
When it was finished, the large group was silent under the continued twisted and sick jokes heard around them.
"She's a Taller!"
"She was nice to you!"
"Was even hurting for Zim. A defect!"
"She was concerned about me being in trouble just for delivering a package. Gave me an escape route. Even offered me a job. Me! A smallest, working for a Lady! Can you imagine?"
One of the things about the PAK, while it did record visual images, it did not process information visually. It computed in simple terms. Things like 'height is superior.' 'Irkens are the best.' 'Respect your Tallers.' Of course nobody ever thought to make sure that a PAK understood the difference between an Irken and an Irken citizen. The issue never came up before because only a crazy lunatic would ever think there would be a difference between the two.
Each smallest, not programmed to be Irken soldiers, recognized the towering image of Gaz, an Irken citizen as a Taller even though she was obviously human. True, she was fairly hideous to look at, but she was tall and a citizen. Gaz was not just a Taller, but a recognized Lady of the Empire by the Tallest themselves. And she was willing to stand up to the tall and look out for the small.
And a rightful Lady of the Empire was being the subject of malicious jokes and sneers by several not tremendously bright Irken guards. Several seats were pushed back.
"Hey! We don't like how you are talking about Lady Gaz like that!"
"Really, puny? Well I think she's a-" and the guard recited a rather long string of obscene slurs.
And just like that Lady Gaz of the Empire became their Lady Gaz. She did not care about height or status. Such things meant nothing to her. She had shown concern about what would happen to a smallest due to her own actions as a Taller and provided a way out for him. She cared very much for a defective, was that defective's bondmate. She had said "how dare you" to the Tallest, objecting to their treatment of defective Zim.
It is odd that in Earth dogs, it is not the large ones that you had to watch out for. They could hurt more, true. But they are more calm in general. It is the small ones that can be the most vicious, ferocious and nasty of them all.
There were five off-duty guards. There were thirty smallests. When it was over, nobody in that establishment was willing to say anything close to disrespectful about Lady Gaz of Earth.
She found Zim as he finished working in front of a piece of equipment in the auxiliary lab. "Gaz-partner, Zim has something for you." He held a very small printout in both hands. "This was very uncomfortable to do, but you were feeling a future loss because of the smeet chamber. Part of you began to mourn. Your instinct says it is impossible now."
He held out the printout. "Zim has the lab, the equipment, and experience. There is no automatic loss for you, Gaz-partner."
"What is it?" she asked, taking the small print. She looked at it.
"It is a simulation. Zim has been making creatures for a very long time," he informed her.
It was a picture. The form looked a lot like Gaz did in the Irken costume, but was a lot younger with deep red human eyes and much paler green tinted skin. The hair was a familiar purple with semi-curly antennae. There were four fingers on each hand. Nose and ears were very small but present.
A simulated smeet daughter. A hybrid image of Zim and Gaz.
Gaz had to admit it was creepy in a mad-scientist sort of way, but it was sweet too. Zim was just trying to show comfort in an instinctively sensed loss about what the future may or may not hold. It was just way too soon. So why couldn't she stop looking at it? She finally put it in her pocket.
"Thanks Zim. Come on. I have something for us to work on," she said.
Gaz led Zim into the living room carrying a small box and a large book under her arm. She sat down on the couch, placing the book beside her and holding the box in her lap.
"Zim, could you bring your drawer over here?" she asked.
"What drawer?"
"That one, over by the front door," she responded, pointing at the end table. "It's okay, Zim. I know what's in it, that it is very private for you. I have something private here too."
The alien nervously went and pulled out the specified drawer and brought it over. Gaz patted the couch next to her, so Zim sat down at the indicated space. Gaz opened her box and showed Zim its contents. They were a mirror image of the contents of his own drawer. Notes, pictures, bits of debris turned into mementos. Little bits from Zim to Gaz, from Gaz to Zim, going back years. The girl opened the book next to her. It was blank.
"People glue little things in these. Sometimes random things, or personal memories. I thought we could do something like that with ours. Maybe it will help."
With that Gaz began assembling her assortment of keepsakes, pasting them in chronological order with the glue stick that came with the scrapbook. Zim began handing her his collection one at a time. Some of them Gaz hadn't seen in years, the handwriting her own. As they did so, they began to talk about something other than the past few days and the new situation they were in.
But as the project advanced, they couldn't help but see a slow but sure pattern emerging. So slow that years passed without it being noticed. A certain parallel correlation between the two. A connection that was, at least on the surface of things at the beginning, denied and yet not exactly resisted.
"Gaz? Do you see it too?" Zim asked.
She pasted another note, another signed picture of commendation. "Yeah, I see it."
A slow but sure gravitation toward a tolerated and standoffish relationship, then more than tolerated but still standoffish, followed by an accepted one of friendship/partnership at the end.
"Gaz? It seems that Zim was in the first stage of bonding for a very long time. Zim had no way of knowing or understanding."
"It's okay, Zim." She patted his hand. "Did you know that, for I don't know how many years, everyday at school I would look to see if you had left me something in my locker? I never really noticed until now. Never thought about it."
They didn't say anything more until both the box and the drawer was empty. They set both aside and held the scrapbook between them. "I have one last thing to add," Gaz said. She pulled out a few folded pieces of torn out paper and began to unfold and straighten them. She had been carrying this with her where ever she went for over a week, ever since that night she saw Zim's memories and he read her diary. The papers were then tacked at the corners with glue and added to the scrapbook. Zim began to read what was written.
Dear Zim, if you are reading this, then you have found out some things about your mission and perhaps your PAK. About your leaders, about everything you thought you knew. I don't know all of it, just a few scraps. I did not want to keep this from you, but even if I didn't want to protect you from the hurt it would cause, you could not believe me.
You were never sent to my planet to succeed in conquering it. They will never support or supply you enough to succeed for if you do, you would end up back on Irk messing up their plans and causing havoc again. It is what you are meant to do, and you are a natural. But it is not valued on your planet because they want a pawn that will fit into their war machine, not Mister Destructo that derails everything around you including them. Zim, this planet was not supposed to be here, and your loyalty to your Tallest, your dedication to your mission would have had you searching for a non-existent target until you died of an accident or old age.
Zim, I am glad they sent you. If you hadn't come, I would have been killed along with the rest of my species when the Planet Jackers came to toss my world into their star. I saw what you did to save us, save me. You have succeeded in saving my planet, and on more than one occasion. You didn't care about that at the time, but perhaps you care a little about me now. I know that you must think you are a failure because you didn't conquer my world. But in a strange way, that is really the success of your mission. Because your true mission was to fail in the conquest. The Irken Empire doesn't want Earth. It was supposed to be your prison because you can't take no for an answer, and you can't stop trying.
I know that you have troubles you can't admit to. Perhaps even unaware of. That your PAK is at fault, and does not regulate things very well. But I wouldn't change it, because then you wouldn't be you anymore. Zim, don't think you are a fool, or stupid, or an idiot. I thought those things about you until tonight when I saw your memories. But I realized that your not being aware of all this is probably your way of protecting yourself because you most likely can't survive the realization on your own. Your PAK is defective, and you have been taught all your life that defectives should be deactivated. I am afraid of what you will do when you find out. But your PAK is not you, Zim. I just hope I won't be too late when you find out, that I will be there for you. Despite my best efforts, you have become a part of my life, and I can't bear to lose those who become a part of it. It's why I am the way I am. It hurts too much to lose people that mean something to me, so I don't let them mean anything. But now you do, my one and only friend.
Zim, you have many great qualities under your dedication to your twisted mission and the things you've done to try to complete it. I don't want to cause you to feel insulted at a time like this, but you are not perfect. But you are dedicated, faithful even if it is in a twisted way, loyal, never giving up, never quitting. You are fearless, the only one that is not afraid of me and even willing to stand up to me. You are bold, inventive, and willing to stand and fight for what you believe. Or at least what you were programmed to believe by your PAK. But you are willing to take a stand nonetheless. You have even put up with Gir's insanity for all these years.
I could probably go on, but I think I've written all that is needed. I am here for you, Zim. I know you can't understand what a friend is. The concept is too alien for you, but you have one with me. I am your friend. I will stand with you through this. Be brave, be strong, be the Zim I know you can be.
A tear began to fall from Zim's eye, and Gaz reached over to wipe it away. She let her hand fall to grasp Zim's as she scooted up against him on the couch. The alien didn't need to ask her if it was true or not.
She whispered into where his ear would have been if he had them. "Zim, I know everything seems bad, that you've been maltreated, used, and betrayed by the ones you were dedicated to pleasing. You've been so good to me these past two weeks, and I caused the destruction your life, your purpose. I'm sorry you've been hurt because of me."
"It was not due to you," Zim told her. "Your actions may have triggered this, but it is not your fault. Zim made decisions while you tried to protect me. You did not cause this, just caused the disclosure of what was happening. Gaz, you were there. You were not too late."
Gaz looked into his solid red eyes and saw so much misery and pain in them, the dullness within, but that last ember of the fire that had been there was still present. Zim was still hanging on to that last thread. But perhaps it was growing a little brighter.
"Zim, " she said, motioning to the scrapbook, "this is our story. I think this could use one more entry tonight. Will you help me?" she asked. The former Invader nodded, so she let go of Zim's hand and took a nearby pencil. She began to write starting with the date.
Last night Zim and I won the CWZ competition in Vegas, Nevada. He has been good to me these past two weeks of preparation, going above and beyond for me so many times. Despite myself, I find he's been measuring up lately. I've finally seen the real Zim, the one underneath the Invader.
Afterward, Zim and I were inadvertently bonded according to Judgementian legal custom and legally married according to the slack local laws of my own homeworld, with the permission of my dad who was probably not paying attention at the time. Zim and I weren't either. We have now been officially recognized as bondmates by Zim's government too. His original mission was canceled and we both have been given a new one, to protect my world. It is still a ruse to keep Zim here, but I think it frees him to become more than they would ever have allowed him to be. He has free rein now.
I am now an Irken citizen, and a Lady of this daft Empire. Zim is now the hands-off military governor of Earth. Sort of all dressed up with no where to go I guess. Right now Zim is having difficulty and I'm trying to help him through it. Well, to be honest we both are having difficulty.
We're not ready for any of this. I'm too young to be married, never paid attention to such things as I was only interested in keeping other people away. We aren't even out of hi-skool yet. Zim was not educated about this sort of thing at all. Not even about his own make-up regarding bonding. He's not ready either, but he won't make any demands of me. We're just trying to get through all this right now.
But I do care about Zim. Maybe I should say my Zim, for he has undeniably become very important to me. Zim cares for me as well. He even gave up his own world for my sake. It is very difficult for me to get out, as I have been closed off from others for so long, but I told Zim that I love him. And I do. Maybe not the way a married person is supposed to, but this all happened without warning and so fast. We never built that kind of relationship, but I suppose if all this didn't happen this way, we never would have. I guess Zim hasn't been the only one that's lived in denial.
Zim does feel something for me. Very much. But it's not human style love. He is a different species after all. We're complicated, and I get the impression that Irken's aren't when it comes to emotions. He's in the second of three stages of the bonding process. I think it's similar and is comprised of the same things that make up human love, but is different with a totally different process. Perhaps instead of different types like we have, Zim has different degrees of the same thing. Perhaps that is why he doesn't connect with those around him. It's not how it works for them. But it's not like I'm an expert. But something tells me someday I will be, even though I'm not ready to think about future things yet.
I am, after all, Zim's wife. I can't say it. It's easier to write stuff down right now. I can't even contemplate building a married sort of relationship at the moment. I shouldn't have had to for several more years. I can't even write that he is my, well, you know. Bondmate is much easier for now. Zim is my bondmate and we have the necklaces to prove it. I will wear mine for the rest of my life. Not that these collars give us much of a choice, but I still stand by my Zim. And I will doom any who would harm him. That is guaranteed.
Gaz finished and Zim took the pencil. He didn't write as much.
Zim is aware of the difference humans have in this process, and Gaz-partner has found herself having skipped most of them. She is a very astute human. Neither of us have been informed of much of what we need to know. But Zim knows Gaz-partner is correct, that a building between us will be necessary. Zim does not know what to call what he has for his Gaz-partner. She also deserves another title, but is not ready to be called such yet. But Zim will think of a suitable one.
For an Irken, Zim does not know much about this bonding process. Only it's symptoms which do not translate well into human. Call stage one: esteem. Stage two: importance. Stage three: precious. Gaz is of utmost importance to Zim, and becoming more. These stages are life-long, it is encoded in our DNA. Zim does not regret bonding with his Gaz-partner. But Zim wishes also for her to be his Love Pig. Zim has learned that this is important too.
Signed,
Governor Zim Membrane - Lady Gaz Membrane
Gaz had signed her name, and then read what Zim had written. "Zim?"
Zim looked back at her to give her his attention.
"Zim, you want me to be your Love Pig? What is a Love Pig?" Gaz asked. It sounded familiar, but she had not heard that term in a long, long time.
"Zim sees others at skool being Love Pigs. They are not even bonded yet." the alien sitting next to her said.
A couple, she thought. Zim wanted to start a relationship with her. A real one.
How could she explain this? "Zim, right now you've lost just about everything except me. You're hanging on by a thread. I'm like your lifeline right now. I see it in your eyes. You need to build a new life, not just one relationship. I don't want to become your crutch. It wouldn't be good for you, even hinder you."
"Somehow Zim finds it unlikely Gaz-partner is the sort who would tolerate allowing anyone becoming forever dependent on you. That is not your way. And as you have already noted, Zim is different. But Zim also recognizes that we both are like flying in the fog. Zim understands."
Gaz spoke, taking his hand in hers. "Zim, I'm not saying I won't. Just take a few days to recover more. Let me talk to my brother. He won't take all this well, but I should be straight with him. I don't want him causing problems for you." She paused to give Zim's hand a short squeeze before letting go. "I will be your Love Pig, Zim. When you are feeling better. Just don't expect much in the way of mushy stuff."
"Good. Zim does not think he is ready for the more disgusting human affections he sees at skool. It is quite revolting."
"Yeah," Gaz said in return. She turned another page and pasted a picture of a simulated child in the center of the page. "You probably once thought the same thing about having a human for a bondmate, and look where we are now."