Two days. Rory stared at the cup of coffee on the table before her. Logan had been home for two days and she still hadn't told him.
She had planned to, so many times, but there was always something getting in the way. First she had postponed telling him because she figured he needed his sleep after returning from California.
The next morning he had woke her up with a series of sweet kisses and she had decided to wait, at least until after breakfast to tell him. He was so happy and she just wanted to savor that moment of romance and bliss for a little longer before ruining the day. And besides, it wasn't the kind of thing you sprung onto someone before they even had had breakfast.
Over breakfast, Logan's father had called and Logan had been in a terrible mood for hours afterwards. Clearly, that was a bad time to tell him.
She had set her mind at telling him over dinner. A nice, private dinner at home, among the boxes were all their stuff where mashed together, waiting for the move across the country. At dinner they would be surrounded by all the evidence she needed to convince him that the guy she accidentally married three years ago was in her past and that he, Logan, was her future.
Just as they sat down to start their dinner, Finn and Colin showed up, demanding Logan and Rory to let them take them out for dinner to celebrate the engagement.
Of course, since it was dinner with Finn and Colin, more than a few drinks were ordered to accompany the food, and so Rory decided to wait until the next morning to tell him. Just wait until they had both sobered up. Alcohol could easily have made the news about her previous marriage into a bigger problem than it actually was.
This morning, Logan had been dressed and on his way to a business meeting of some kind when she woke up. He had apologized for waking her up, he had kissed her and told her to go back to sleep. There hadn't been any time to tell him. This wasn't the kind of thing you just blurted out like that.
And now, here she was. In three hours Logan would be home and this time there was no excuses. Tonight – she was telling him, no matter what.
Rory sighed and stared at her watch. 2 hours and 57 more minutes and then he would know. There would be no more secrets and the past would be left right where it belonged – in the past.
In a useless attempt to distract her thoughts, Rory reached for the stack of unopened mail lying next to her on the coffee-table.
Sorting through the bills, she found an envelope with her name and address written on it in neat letters. She recognized the handwriting in an instant. When living together, she and Matt had exchanged enough notes about trading shifts or running out of coffee for her to recognize his handwriting.
She dropped the bills on the couch next to her and opened the envelope.
From behind the counter at the Truncheon Books and Coffee, Matt watched Jess as he sat on the couch, hiding behind the cover of a book.
Because that was what he was doing. Hiding. He might be able to fool anyone else, but Matt knew him better than that. He wasn't reading. He was hiding.
He was hiding his hurt and his feelings behind the pages of his book. Just like he'd done the first time she left. Matt figured he must have set some sort of record in plowing through novels the first time she left.
But only the novels she didn't like. He read and re-read them. Every book she'd ever bashed. The one's she loved were gathering dust in the bookshelf until he finally had had enough of watching them staring at him and packed them into boxes.
Matt shook his head.
He would read those books again. The one's she loved. They would be brought back from the boxes and placed in the bookshelf again. She would place them there. He would nag, be grumpy and claim that they didn't belong there, next to the books that were actually worth reading – but secretly, he would love the fact that she was so passionate about it.
And she would make him read them. Matt smiled to himself, because he knew that they had a lifetime of making each other read all those books they were both so passionate about ahead of them.
He wondered if Rory had received his letter yet.
"You seem distracted" Logan pointed out from across the table as they were digging into their take-out dinner.
"What?" Rory raised her head from staring at her plate and was met with a smile and a set of raised eyebrows. She forced a smile on her lips.
"Exactly" Logan smiled back, he was in a good mood this afternoon. And why wouldn't he be? He was having dinner with his fiancée in the privacy of their home.
"It's nothing" Rory shook her head.
Logan gave her a look, saying he didn't really believe her words, but didn't press on. She was thankful for that.
She still hadn't told him about Jess.
"Have you ever seen the movie 'The Notebook'?" She asked and Logan stirred, surprised at the question that seemed to come from out of nowhere. He shrugged his shoulders.
"I don't know. Isn't that some sappy love story?" Without taking his eyes off of her, he took a bite from the spring roll on his plate.
"Yeah" Rory took a deep breath and forced another smile on her lips. "Maybe"
Logan reached for her hand across the table and there was a concerned look on his face. "What's with you tonight? You seem a thousand miles away"
"Nothing" She shook her head and caressed his hand with her fingers. "I'm just tired, that's all"
Later that night, when Logan had fallen asleep, Rory climbed out of bed, grabbed Matt's letter from the bottom of her sock drawer, where she'd hidden it and sat down in the living room couch.
She had already read the letter enough times to know the words by heart, but she read it anyway and as she read it, tears started falling from her eyes.
You remember you told me you thought The Notebook was one of the most romantic movies you'd ever seen?
I might not agree with you on that, but come on, don't you see it? Noah built a house 'cause he thought that would make Allie come back. Jess built a bookstore.
Noah wrote down all their memories, so he could tell them to her when she'd forgotten them, forgotten who she was.
Jess thinks that no one knows, but I've seen it. I've seen the number of notebooks he filled with words about you. About your memories. About your love.
I wish I could copy them all and send them to you, because it seems like you need to be reminded of what you had – what you still can have.
You seem to have forgotten, just like Allie did. I think I can finally understand how incredibly sad a story 'The Notebook' really is. All that love, all those memories – and she's forgotten all about them.
When someone dies, as Jenny did in 'Love Story' that's the end of it. You can never get someone back from the dead. It's sad, because death is final, it's permanent.
But when someone has forgotten, that's even sadder. I get that now. Because when someone has forgotten – they're still there and you'll never stop hoping for even a short glimpse of remembrance.
Do you remember who you are Rory?
Do you remember how much you loved him?
A love like that doesn't simply go away. It doesn't disappear without a trace.
He hasn't forgotten. Not any of it.
He went out and got his GED. He wrote a book and got it published. He built a place filled with books and coffee. All the dreams and hopes that the two of you shared – he made them come true, hoping that one day you'd come back.
Of course, he never said any of it out loud. He never admitted it, but I know him better than he thinks. I know he did it all for you.
Do you remember your hopes and dreams? The ones you shared with him?
Jess still remembers. That's why he's so bitter. Because it hurts believing that you're the only one that remembers.
But I know he isn't. I know you remember too. It just feels safer to pretend that you've forgotten.
Tell me, have you ever watched that movie and thought, even for a split second, that maybe Allie belonged with Lon instead of Noah? I know I haven't.
He was simply someone she turned to because she thought it was all over with the man she really loved. But it wasn't over. It isn't over.
What you need to do is to remember. All of it. Not just the bad things.
You need to remember how you made up after the fights.
You need to remember the sweet, kind words that followed the harsh, screamed ones.
You need to remember what it felt like to be with him. Smile with him. Laugh with him. Love with him.
I'm begging of you to remember it all – because it's all still there, waiting for you to come back home.
Rory sighed and looked out into the dark living room in front of her.
Of course she remembered. She had been trying to forget, she had been trying to repress the memories of them being happy. Not because she was afraid, but because it had hurt too much to remember that they had lost it.
It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair of Matt to do this. He didn't know everything. He didn't know the way Jess had looked at her when she'd told him about the baby.
He didn't know about the signed divorce papers on the coffee-table.
He didn't know about the new memories, the ones she'd created with Logan.
Rory buried her head in her hands. She had never felt more confused in her life than she did right at this moment.