Saviour - What if the men Shelby gave her baby to hadn't been the loving parents she thought they would be
Rating - T
Characters - Shelby & Rachel
A/N - I've got a busy few weeks coming up so it might be a while before I can update again.
It wasn't until two days after Rachel's birthday that her last present, a game of mouse trap from Shelby's brother and sister inlaw, was unwrapped and Shelby decided it was time to prepare for Christmas. She'd never forget just how Rachel's face had lit up when Shelby had taken her to buy a 'real' tree, a large one for the living room and a smaller one for the bedroom, they'd spent the whole afternoon decorating both trees and every time Shelby looked at her daughter that evening the teen was smiling in the direction of the Christmas tree. Rachel would never admit it to anyone but she was starting to feel like Shelby's house was now her home.
"Okay, I'm coming, I'm coming." Shelby sighed as she ran went to answer the door the next day.
"Hey" she was greeted by a tall blonde girl who some how managed to hug her even though her hands were full with bags and balloons, "I'm Brittany" she introduced herself, "are you Rachel's mom?" Shelby only had time to nod before the girl continued, "Noah told us it was Rachel's birthday, he only told us yesterday or we wouldn't have missed it, I hope it was okay we came over, we bought cake and presents."
She finally took a breath and Shelby noticed Noah and four other kids stood behind Brittany, "no, sure, come in, I'll let Rachel know you're here." Brittany and Noah stepped into the house closely followed by Mike, Matt, Quinn and Santana who were quickly introduced to Shelby before she stepped into the living room, "Rachel baby" she walked over to where Rachel was lounging on the sofa, "your birthday party's here."
"My, my..."
"Noah, Brittany, Santana, Quinn, Mike and Matt, they've bought cake and balloons." She saw the corners of Rachel's mouth curl into a smile before calling the kids into the room.
Shelby wasn't surprised when Brittany greeted Rachel with yet another crushing hug, "I only found out about your birthday yesterday" Brittany told Rachel, "or I wouldn't have missed it."
"I'll leave you guys to it, Rae I'll be in the basement if you need anything" she had some christmas presents for Rachel hidden in the basement, now would be the perfect time to wrap them, "feel free to help yourself to anything in the kitchen" she told the group of teens before leaving the room.
"I got you this" Brittany handed Rachel a large stuffed bear wearing a 'Happy Birthday' tshirt and a small square present that turned out to be a cd of all Brittany's favourite songs and a sheet of duck stickers to decorate her cast.
She was overwhelmed as Quinn handed her a gift next, a small box which she opened to find a simple silver chain with a small 'R' hanging from it. Mike was next, he and Matt had clubbed together to get $50 of vouchers for a local book and music store, all the gifts came with warm wishes and hugs but what surprised Rachel the most was Santana, "Happy Birthday" she mumbled as she thrust the gift towards Rachel.
"Thank you" Rachel managed to stutter in response before Santana rolled her eyes and went back to sit beside Quinn. She opened the paper and smiled, "Thank you Santana" she whispered. The gift was simple, a set of 6 nail varnishes and a voucher for a manicure once her cast was removed but to Rachel it was the world, it was a sign that things were getting better, that things wouldn't be quite so bad if she ever went back to McKinley.
It was a little after 9pm when everyone left after hours of fun, laughter and a large amount of pizza. Even as Shelby helped Rachel climb the stairs to bed, the girl still had a huge smile on her face, "they signed my cast Momma". Rachel sighed as Shelby helped her change.
"I can see that sweetheart, and Brittany told me your cast was blue like a pond, that was why she bought the duck stickers"
Rachel held up her cast to examine it closely, a row of ducks 'swam' neatly around the top of her cast, "I had fun today Mom, Quinn painted my nails" she grinned, wiggling her pale blue, glittery nails.
"I'm glad you've enjoyed yourself" Shelby said truthfully, walking Rachel into the bathroom, she loved spending time with her daughter but she'd be lying if she said she wasn't only slightly relieved that Rachel was starting to relax more around her peers, even if the girl was so exhausted that Shelby had to sit the teen on the toilet lid to brush her teeth, "you'll have to invite them round again, maybe I could get a tv and a sofa to put in the basement for you so you can hang out down there, I'm sure the guys would like the gym equipment and the girls look like they'd appreciate the dance floor."
"They're cheerios" Rachel slurred sleepily, "and the boys play football."
Shelby smiled and handed Rachel a glass of water before helping her over to the sink, "rinse". She helped Rachel to the bed and her eyes fluttered closed almost as soon as she'd laid down, "Good night darling" Shelby whispered as she pulled the covers straight and kissed Rachel's forehead, "I love you." Shelby stood watching Rachel sleep for a minute, she couldn't believe how much Rachel seemed to have come out of her shell over the past couple of weeks, she only hoped that meeting her entire family didn't push her back.
Christmas day was quiet, once again the pile of gifts bought Rachel to tears, and her sobs only got louder as she realised she'd not got anything for Shelby, "you're here" Shelby had told her daughter, "I get to spend Christmas Day with you and nothing you could buy from a store would beat that."
Shelby cooked a roast chicken and all the trimmings for lunch, and made sandwiches from the leftovers for dinner before she curled up on the sofa to watch a dvd with Rachel, both smiling when Jasper jumped up to sit in Rachel's lap. They'd done nothing special but it had been the best Christmas both Shelby and Rachel had ever had.
"I'd like you to meet my Mom" Shelby said before they walked into the house the next morning, "but you don't need to meet anyone else until later, and if it all gets too much for you then tell me, we can take a break, it's not a problem sweetheart."
"Shelby darling" Shelby was pulled into her mothers arms almost the second she opened the door, "Merry Christmas"
Shelby smiled and relaxed into her Mom's embrace, "Merry Christmas Mom." She took a step back once her Mom let her go, "Mom, this is..."
"Rachel" Shelby's Mom whispered as she saw the girl stood nervously in the doorway, "come here, let me see you" she opened her arms and Rachel soon found herself in the same bone crushing hug her mother had been in just moments earlier, "I can't believe it's you" she sighed as she took a step back and took a good look at her eldest grandchild, "you're right Shelby" she placed her hand on Rachel's cheek, "she's beautiful." She shook her head and wiped at her eyes, "I'm Erin" she finally introduced herself, "you can call me Erin or you can call me Nanna" she told Rachel, "whatever you like."
"Thank you" Rachel whispered shyly.
"An'Lelby, Rae" they were interrupted by Lily running at them with a huge smile on her face.
"Hey monster" Shelby scooped Lily into her arms, "where's your indoor voice?"
"Santa come." Lily informed her aunt and cousin, "bring presen's"
"Lil" Amy called for her daughter, "What did I..." she saw her daughter with her sister, "Merry Christmas Shel" she kissed her cheek, "Merry Christmas Pretty Girl" she kissed Rachel too, "did you have a good day yesterday?"
Rachel nodded, "Yes thank you, and thank you for all my presents, you really didn't have to go to so much trouble"
"No trouble" Amy took Rachel's hand and squeezed it, "and you are more than welcome for the gifts." Amy had given Shelby Rachel's presents on Christmas eve so she could open them in her own time and unlike her birthday Rachel had opened all her presents on Christmas day, although she hadn't yet had gifts from Shelby's parents or either of her uncles.
Amy took Lily back into the living room whilst Shelby and Rachel took of their coats and shoes. As promised nobody paid any attention as mother and daughter entered the room and settled themselves on the sofa, Shelby quietly pointing everyone out to Rachel. "Your Mom said you were here, I can't believe you didn't come and say hi" a man Rachel assumed was Shelby's father walked over to them and pulled Shelby into a hug, "it's good to see you baby girl" he told her before turning his attention to Rachel, "and you must be Rachel, I've heard so much about you, it's good to be able to finally put a face to the name, I'm Paul, your Grandpa" he held out his hand for Rachel to shake, "I can't believe how much you look like your Mom when she was your age" he smiled, "maybe we can get the baby pictures out later, "embarrass your Mom, she had a huge perm when she was your age, her hair was so big I'm surprised she managed to get through the doorways." Rachel giggled slightly, "if looks could kill" he nodded at Shelby who was shooting daggers at her father, "anyway, I better go see if Erin wants a hand in the kitchen but come find me if you want to see those pictures" he said with a wink.
The day was going better than expected, Shelby's family had been respectful of Shelby's request for space and she was slowly introducing her family to her daughter and so far everyone loved her, not that she was surprised, "Rachel" Erin and Paul walked over to her later that morning, "can we have a word please?"
Rachel glanced at her mom, "I'll be right here Rachel, I won't go anywhere, you'll be okay." Rachel nodded and solemnly followed her grandparents out of the room and down the hall, "welcome to my man cave" Paul smiled as she stepped into his study, "take a seat" he gestured to the leather sofa and Erin sat beside her as Paul wheeled over the chair from behind his desk. "Every year" he began to explain, "we set a budget, we spend the same amount on everyone for their birthdays and Christmas regardless, we spend the same amount on you Mom as we do on the triplets, well, this is their first Christmas but you know what I mean."
"What Paul is trying to say is, that even though you weren't here, we wanted you to be, in our eyes you have always been a part of this family. We might not have been able to buy you gifts but we wanted to do something, so for the past fifteen years, every December 18th and every Christmas we've put th money away for you. Your mom said she planned to find you when you turned 18 so it's locked away until then but it's gathering a lot of interest, you can use it for whatever you want once you turn 18, a car, a deposit for a house, college fees, you could even pack up and go traveling if you wanted to. I know you'll think it's too much but darling, we'd have spent it on you anway so please don't argue."
"I, I can't take this" Rachel's hands shook as she looked at the papers Paul had handed her, one of which was a bank statement dated for the end of November, it was more money than Rachel had ever seen in her life, "it's not that I'm not grateful" she tried to explain, "but I can't, it's too much" she began to hyperventilate and, without Rachel noticing, Paul left the room to fetch Shelby.
"Rachel sweetheart" Erin spoke softly as she placed her arm around Rachel's shoulders, "you don't have to take these papers right now, you don't even have to take them when you turn 18, we'll keep hold of them until you're ready, but we're not going to take this back, just like we will never take back any of the gifts we give you. You have been a part of this family, in spirit if not in person, since the day you were born, I hope one day you'll be able to feel comfortable with us, we've waited fifteen years to meet you and I promise you, you will get nothing but love in my house I can be sure of that."
"Mom?" Shelby questioned as she stepped into the room to find Rachel sobbing into Erin's shoulder.
"We've been saving for Rachel" Erin explained, "every year, for her birthdays and Christmas, we've put the money we would have spent on gifts into the bank, she'll be able to withdraw it when she turns 18."
"Oh baby" Shelby knelt infront of the sofa and Rachel almost launched herself into her mother's arms, "shh, you're okay" Shelby sat on the floor with Rachel on her lap rocking her backwards and forwards, "you're okay sweetheart, you're okay." Shelby noticed Rachel's eyes drooping, "I'm going to take her upstairs" Shelby told Erin, "let her take a nap."
"Okay" Erin smiled, "I'll ask everyone to be quiet if they go upstairs. Lay her in our room if you like, there's a travel cot in there for the babies but they're all downstairs, it'll be more comfortable if you want to stay with her for a while."
Shelby smiled as she helped Rachel to her feet, "thanks Mom."
Rachel woke a while later in a strange room, it took a while for her to remember that she was at her grandparents house and her mom was waiting downstairs for her. She sat up slowly, frowning when she heard a noise that sounded like Jasper when he was scared, when she heard it again she realised it came from a travel cot in the corner of the room. She slowly stood to her feet before walking across the room and peering into the travel cot, a tiny baby dressed in a pink baby grow stared back at her, she continued to whimper for a couple of seconds before beginning to scream.
"Phoebe's awake" Charlotte, Shelby's sister in law stated the obvious as they heard the crying over the baby monitor, "I'll go" she told Matt as he made to stand from where he was sat cradling another of the triplets, grabbing the diaper bag and leaving the room.
"I'm sorry" Rachel sobbed as Charlotte walked into the room, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make her cry."
"Hey" Charlotte lifted Phoebe from the travel cot, "you didn't make her cry sweetheart, she's just hungry that's all" she looked at Rachel for a minute, "would you like to feed her?"
Rachel couldn't look Charlotte in the eye, "I, I don't know how."
"I'll show you" Charlotte sat on the bed with her back against the headboard and gestured for Rachel to sit beside her, "here" she moved the pillows and cushions on the bed so Rachel could use her broken arm and the cushions to support Phoebe without too much trouble, "rest her head in your elbow" Charlotte laid the baby on Rachel's lap, "there you go" she reached into the diaper bag for a bib and fastened it around Phoebe's neck before handing Rachel a bottle, "just hold that so there's always milk in the teat so she doesn't get wind" she handed Rachel the bottle, "there we go" she smiled as Phoebe began to suck hungrily at the bottle, "it's simple isn't it."
Rachel nodded but didn't tear her eyes away from Phoebe, "I've never held a baby before" she admitted.
"Well you're doing a great job." They sat in silence for a while before Charlotte spoke again, "I'm Charlotte by the way, I'm married to your Uncle Matt, and that's Phoebe, Cora and Jessie are downstairs, don't worry if you get them mixed up, I'm not even sure Matt can tell them apart" she laughed, "the kids certainly can't."
"You have three boys too right?" Rachel asked.
"Yeah" Charlotte nodded, "although sometimes they're more like monsters than children, Alex, Henry and Sam, apart from Rhys, the baby, all the boys downstairs are mine." Charlotte made small talk with Rachel until Phoebe's bottle was empty, "here" she lifted Phoebe from Rachel, "let me wind her then you can have a proper cuddle if you like." As promised she winded Phoebe before settling her back amongst the pillows on Rachel's lap.
"How old is she?" Rachel asked quietly.
"Four months tomorrow" Charlotte smiled, "she's the middle one, Cora's the oldest and Jessie's the youngest, they were eleven weeks early, they've only been out of the hospital for three weeks."
"Are, are they okay?"
"Yeah" Charlotte smiled as she leant over and ran her fingers lightly over Phoebe's cheek, "they all needed some help breathing and feeding when they were first born but they're all okay now."
"She's beautiful."
"Thanks" Charlotte smiled again, "I think so too." They sat in silence for a while before Charlotte spoke again, "we should get back downstairs, your Mom will be wondering what I've done with you."
"Thank you for letting me hold her" Rachel whispered as Charlotte lifted Phoebe from Rachel, laying the baby against her chest, holding her tightly with her left arm.
"Anytime, you can hold any of them, you don't have to ask" Charlotte slung the diaper bag onto her right shoulder and held out her hand for Rachel, "come on, Erin said dinner will be ready soon."
"Hey baby" Shelby pulled Rachel onto her lap as soon as she saw her, "how are you feeling?"
"I'm okay" Rachel snuggled into her mother, "Charlotte let me feed Phoebe and then when Charlotte had winded her she let me hold her for a while."
Shelby smiled "I wondered what you were up to up there."
"I'd never held a baby before Momma, I thought I'd hurt her but Charlotte laid cushions on my lap to help because of my arm."
Shelby kissed Rachel's forehead, "of course you wouldn't have hurt her darling."
"She's so small."
"I know, but she'll grow, you were about that size when you were born."
Shelby sat talking quietly to Rachel until Erin announced lunch was ready. It had been years since the family had been small enough to fit comfortably around a dining table so Erin instead made a buffet style Christmas dinner, it was informal, like the family, and it meant Rachel didn't have to worry about not clearing her plate of a 'normal' sized portion.
"Shelby" Erin called over her eldest child about an hour after everyone had finished eating, "come help me do the dishes."
"But Rachel..."
"Will be fine with the rest of her family, you'll only be in the kitchen."
Amy glanced over at Rachel a while after Shelby had left with their mother, the girl looked terrified. She was sat on the sofa with her knees curled up to her chest as if she was trying to make herself so small she'd disappear. Amy glanced at Jim and tipped her head towards Rachel, Jim nodded and smiled in response letting Amy know he was okay watching Lily and Max so she could go see to Rachel. "Hey" she walked over to Rachel slowly, "go grab your coat."
"Why?" Rachel asked quietly, "where am I going?"
"We're going to get out of here for a bit, these kids are driving me crazy and I want some company."
Amy already had her shoes on so she pulled on her coat and made two cups of cocoa before Rachel appeared in the kitchen. "What are you two up to?" Erin asked, causing Shelby to spin on her heels to face her sister and daughter.
"Rach baby, what's going on? Where are you going?"
"Aunt Amy asked me to keep her company whilst she takes a break from the children."
"Do I need an excuse to get to spend time with my niece Shell? Maybe I want to tell her some embarassing stories about my favourite sister."
"Yeah" Shelby frowned, "thats what worries me."
"Come on Squirt" Amy handed Rachel a mug, "let's get some air."
"She's okay" Erin reassured Shelby, "she's just sat outside with Amy. She'll be fine."
Amy lead Rachel around the porch to sit on the swing at the back of the house, "hows it going?" She asked as they got settled on the swing and Amy covered their laps with a thick blanket she'd bought out with them, "I've not spoken to you since you came out of hospital."
"I'm okay" Rachel said quietly, "the doctors said the bleeding's all gone now and I don't get headaches as often."
"That's good" Amy smiled, "and how's it going living with Shelly?"
Rachel couldn't hold back her smile, "it's great" she grinned.
Amy smiled too and rocked the swing gently with her left leg before taking a sip of her cocoa, "Shelly said she'd put my number in your phone, for emergencies." Rachel nodded, "I want you to know that you don't have to wait for an emergency to call me, of there's ever anything you don't feel like you can talk to your mom about, or if you have an argument and need to get away for a while, hell even if you just want to chat about something you've seen on tv you can call me Rach. Day or night, it doesn't matter."
"Thank you" Rachel whispered softly.
"Its okay" Amy smiled back, "Shelly, she's like my best friend, my big sister and my therapist all rolled into one. She's done so much for me, I want to do the same for the two of you. We're family right, we might be loud and more than a little bit crazy but we're all here for you. We all love you and I'll be honest we're all a little bit surprised that you're here but we're so happy to have you. We can't wait to get to know you. Lily and Max adore you. They keep asking if you can come over and play, I keep putting it off but I'm not going to be able to stall forever."
"I think I'd like to see them more often, if that's okay? Maybe when my arm's better?"
"Of course it is" Amy put her now empty mug on the floor and reached out to wrap an arm around Rachel's shoulder. "They'd love that."
They sat in silence for a while before Rachel spoke, "did you, did you know my mom had had me?"
"Yeah" I was only about 10 when you were born, I didn't find out until I was pregnant with Max, I had horrible morning sickness and Shelly told me about something that had helped her. I asked what she was talking about and then she told me about you. I'll be honest I couldn't understand how she did it. I was 19 when I had Max, the same age Shelly was when she had you. Jimmy and I, we were both terrified but we couldn't even think about giving him away. She was there, when my Maxie was born and the second the nurses put him in my arms I started yelling at her, there was this beautiful little girl somewhere who needed a mother and she'd given that up for money but then she broke down, she was on her knees in the delivery room sobbing about how much she missed you and how she regretted giving you up. I felt like a complete bitch, I knew she'd get you back one day though, what Shelly wants Shelly gets. I just wish it had been under better circumstances." Tears were rolling slowly down Rachel's face as Amy began to rub her back. "You just need to remember Rach that your mom loves you so much, she always has, please, if you only ever do one thing I ask you to do, don't ever doubt the love she has for you."
"I don't" Rachel said shakily, "I won't"
"Good" Amy kissed Rachel's temple, "she's going to kill me for making you cry". They rocked in silence for a while until Rachel calmed down, "are you ready to go back in now?" Rachel nodded, "Okay" Amy helped her to her feet before picking up the mug and the blanket and leading Rachel back inside.
Shelby was still in the kitchen when Amy and Rachel walked back into the house, only now she had Rhys on her hip and was filling a sippy cup with juice. She frowned when she noticed Rachel had been crying and Amy held her hands out for her nephew once she'd put the mugs in the sink, taking him back into the living room and leaving Rachel and Shelby alone.
"Baby" Shelby opened her arms, "what's wrong?"
Rachel almost ran into Shelby's arms, squeezing her mother as tightly as she could, "I love you" Rachel sobbed, "I love you so much."
"Oh baby" Shelby sighed, "I love you too."