Saviour - What if the men Shelby gave her baby to hadn't been the loving parents she thought they would be
Rating - T
Characters - Shelby & Rachel
A/N - Really struggled to get this chapter to 'flow' right, but I've done my best. I've had a couple of reviews and pms asking for Rachel to get her period, so here you guys go. Planning on making the next chapter quite Puckleberry centred, those of you wanting Finchel may be disappointed!
The new year got off to a great start for both Shelby and Rachel, they spent New Year's Day at the Puckerman's, Noah's mom had pulled Rachel into a hug the second she opened the door, "Oh my darling" she'd sighed as she'd held Rachel tightly, "you should have told me, I'd have had you out of that house quicker than you could have blinked, I'd never have let you stay there so long" she kissed Rachel's forehead, "Promise me sweetheart, if you ever need anything, ever again and you can't tell your mom you come to me. And I hope I'm wasting my breath saying this but sweetheart, if you ever need to get out, my door is always open for you."
"Thank you Mrs Puckerman" Rachel had mumbled into the older woman's chest.
"Mrs Puckerman?" She frowned, "you always called me Ma, I understand you have your Mom now but there's no need to be so formal, you call me Ma or you call me Sarah okay?" Rachel nodded, "and you" she looked to Shelby, "as long as you're looking after this beautiful girl, you can call me Sarah."
Sarah had called Rachel into the kitchen after dinner, "did you get your Mom anything for the holidays?"
Rachel had bowed her head, "no, I, I didn't"
Sarah opened a cupboard and pulled out a neatly wrapped gift, "give her this, it'll mean more coming from you than me."
Rachel had shyly offered the gift to Shelby when she'd left the kitchen and Shelby had sobbed with happiness as she flicked through the photo album, watching Rachel grow from a cute toddler to a beautiful young woman with each turn of the page, each photo was labelled with the location, occasion and date and Sarah spent several hours talking to Shelby, telling her the story behind all the photos alongside many silly little stories from Rachel's childhood and as they left the Puckerman house Shelby knew she'd made a firm friend in Sarah.
Rachel had her cast removed and got the all clear from her head injury, she was still working things through with her therapist but things were getting better, although she preferred the comfort she got from sleeping with Shelby, Rachel had spent several nights in her own bed without accidents or nightmares and she was even back at McKinley two days a week. Principal Figgins had resigned not long after Rachel had been pushed down the stairs, Sue had taken over as principal and her no nonsense stance on bullying made both Shelby and Rachel confident that she'd be safe now.
Rachel was slowly coming out of her shell and every day Shelby found more to love about the girl she was getting to know, even Jasper no longer seemed scared of them and was happy to run around the house chasing shadows on the wall or occasionally his own tail.
"Rachel sweetheart" Shelby called her daughter as she hung up the phone and sighed, this was a conversation she didn't really want to have with Rachel but she had no choice and she figured it was better to get it over and done with, "Rachel, can you come down please, we need to talk."
"Is everything okay?" Rachel smiled as she walked into the room and flopped onto the sofa next to her mother.
Shelby took a good look at the girl beside her, Rachel seemed so much happier lately, she always seemed to be smiling and Shelby hated that she was going to be the one to wipe the smile from her face. "I've just had a call from the police, I'm not going to sugar coat this Rachel, they found Leroy in a hotel room in Florida, he was quite badly beaten up, he said Hiram did it."
"Is he okay?" Rachel interrupted.
"He spent the night in hospital but he's okay, nothing that won't heal given time. He told them that Hiram had gone to Mexico, Leroy said he wanted to try and find out if you were okay but Hiram got angry."
Rachel nodded, her head bowed, "Daddy, I mean Leroy, he, he used to sneak me food sometimes and if Da-Hiram was late home from work he'd let me sit in the kitchen until Hiram came home instead of making me wait on the porch."
Shelby smiled sadly, "Leroy said it was his idea to bring you here, he said Hiram wanted to leave you locked in the house." Leroy had also told the police Hiram had wanted to set fire to the house before they left but she wasn't going to tell Rachel that. How could you tell someone that the man they'd called Dad for almost fifteen years wanted to burn down the house you were locked in?
"Could, could you take me to school please?" Rachel asked quietly, it broke Shelby's heart, in less than five minutes Rachel had become the girl she was when she first moved in.
"It's almost four darling, no one will be there" Shelby assumed Rachel wanted to go to school to see Noah or one of the other friends she'd been spending a lot of time with recently.
"I want to, I need to, to run, on the track" she clarified.
Shelby nodded, she understood, she was just glad Rachel felt able to tell her that, "sure, go change, I'll wait here for you darling."
"I, I'm ready" Rachel whispered as she walked back into the room a few minutes later dressed in sweats with her hair pulled back and her ipod and a towel in her hand.
"Rachel" Shelby sighed as she stood from the sofa, "I'm sorry".
Rachel shrugged, "it's not your fault, they'd have been found eventually anyway."
Shelby sighed again, "do you want to..." she gestured to the door.
Rachel nodded, "please, just let me grab some water."
"I'll wait here for you" Shelby told Rachel as she pulled into the school parking lot, "take as long as you need" she looked at Rachel for a moment, "Rachel, I, I" she shook her head, she didn't know how to put what she wanted to say into words, "I love you Rachel, no matter what happens, you will always have my love."
"I know" Rachel smiled, "I love you too."
Shelby leant across the centre console and kissed Rachel's forehead, "go run before it gets too dark."
Shannon was just packing up in her office when she noticed someone running on the track, she watched them run a few laps before picking up her stopwatch and heading out to the track. She made her way over to the bleachers without being seen and timed the girl as she ran a few laps, she was impressed. No one on the track team managed times like Rachel's, especially over such long distance, the girl just kept going. Finally Rachel began to slow down and jogged a couple of laps before finishing by walking for a while to cool down, she headed over to where she'd left her towel and water bottle and jumped slightly when she saw the football coach sat on the bleachers, "I didn't realise anyone was here" she said as she pulled out her earbuds.
"I didn't want to disturb you" Shannon said truthfully as she handed Rachel her water bottle, "you seemed to be in the zone." Rachel said nothing but sat on the bleacher beneath Shannon, "you're fast" Shannon finally broke the silence, have you thought about joining the track team?"
Rachel shrugged, "I, I don't, I, I had, still have some problems, at home. I, I guess I ran to try and run away from them, I never, never, I just run."
Shannon placed her hand on Rachel's shoulder and squeezed softly, "Can I tell you something?" she asked, only continuing when she saw Rachel nod, "I only got into sport when I needed an escape from reality too."
"Really?"
"Yeah" Shannon sighed, "I was eight when I was taken into care, I spent ten years of my life bouncing between foster homes, and then last year, I left my fiance, the man I wanted to spend forever with, because he hit me so hard he fractured my cheekbone, so I guess what I'm trying to say kid is that you never really realise just how strong you can be until being strong is the only choice you have left. It might sound hard but you have to hold your head up high and keep walking, it's a long road but it'll lead you to better places." Rachel could only nod in response, her cheeks wet with tears, "do you need a ride anywhere?"
Rachel shook her head, "My mom said she'd wait for me in the parking lot."
It was Shannon's turn to nod, "come on" she stood and held out her hand to help Rachel up, "I'll walk you out front." She walked to the parking lot, "if you want to come to some track practices" she told Rachel, "you're always welcome, even if you don't want to be officially on the team, and if not, the track, the field, its yours whenever you need it."
"Thanks" Rachel smiled.
"Anytime" Shannon patted Rachel on the back before heading back to her office to collect her things.
"Feeling better?" Shelby asked as Rachel fastened her seatbelt.
Rachel nodded, "yes thanks, I, I think better when I run, thank you for bringing me here."
"Anytime sweetheart, anytime."
It as a little after 8pm when Rachel told Shelby she was going to bed, she'd hardly eaten any of her dinner and Shelby was understandably worried, she'd called Alice and scheduled an emergency appointment for Rachel and then she'd called Amy to cry. Amy had tried to comfort her sister for over half an hour and then sent Rachel a text to remind her that she was there should she ever need to talk.
Shelby tried to watch a movie after Rachel had gone to bed but she hadn't been able to concentrate, her mind was focused on one thing, Rachel, and it was almost 10 when Shelby finally broke herself from her thoughts and made her way up the stairs to bed. She sighed as she found her bed empty but found a little relief when she found Rachel was actually asleep in her own bed. She kissed her daughter, "sweet dreams baby" she whispered as picked up the family quilt from where it had fallen on the floor and placed it how Rachel liked it, rolled up against the left side of her body, before placing Edward Bear under Rachel's right arm and straightening the covers. She paused in the doorway for a moment, praying Rachel would sleep through without any nightmares. "I love you" she whispered before leaving the room, making sure not to shut the door all the way.
Shelby showered and then climbed into bed, exhausted from the day's events she fell asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow. She frowned as she woke and rolled over to look at the clock, it was a little before 4am, and although the house was silent the mother in her knew something was wrong. She pulled herself from her bed and she knew the second that she noticed Rachel's door was wide open that she'd woken because her daughter needed her. She noticed the slither of light coming from under the bathroom door and knocked softly, "Rachel, Rach darling, are you okay."
Inside the bathroom Rachel stood at the sink, tears rolling silently down her cheeks, she froze as she heard Shelby knock on the door, she was for it now, Shelby was going to kill her.
"Baby" Shelby tapped again, firmer this time, "are you okay." When she got no response she tried the door handle and was only slightly relieved when the door swung open, "sweetheart" Shelby found Rachel hunched over the sink, "what are you doing?"
"I'm sorry" Rachel sobbed, clutching at the sink as she felt her legs turn to jelly, "I'm sorry Momma, I'm sorry."
"What for darling?" Shelby moved to take Rachel in her arms as the girl began to sob harder.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry" Rachel choked between sobs.
Shelby glanced into the sink to find Rachel's bed sheet laid in pink tinged water, a small red stain in the middle. She took a moment to glance at Rachel's pyjama bottoms, and found a similar red stain on the once grey fabric between her daughter's legs, "Oh baby, it's okay, it's okay, there's no need to get worked up, we just need to get you cleaned up and changed, it's no problem sweetheart."
"I'm sorry" Rachel sobbed, shaking almost violently in her mother's arms.
"Oh baby" Shelby sighed, before pushing Rachel towards the toilet and lifting the lid as she felt Rachel begin to heave. No sooner had Rachel fallen to her knees did she vomit into the toilet, "oh sweetheart" Shelby sighed, sitting beside her daughter, holding back her hair and kissing her temple softly, "it's happened to us all, there's no need to get worked up like this. Amy" Shelby laughed at the memory, "once a month Amy used to stumble down the stairs first thing in a morning, push her sheets in the washing machine, tell us all to fuck off and then go back to bed. There's no need to get so worked up."
They sat on the floor until Rachel finished being sick and Shelby helped her to her feet before sitting her on the now closed toilet lid and filling a glass with water, "here" she said softly, as she dampened a wash cloth, "drink this slowly" she began to wipe at Rachel's forehead with the wash cloth, "let's run you a bath" she saw Rachel begin to shake again, "oh sweetheart" she sighed, "you need to calm down" she reached over to turn on the warm water in the bath, "come on beautiful, take some deep breaths" Rachel took a shaky breath and tears filled her eyes once again, "baby, I think you need to take one of your pills, I don't want you making yourself sick again." She refilled the glass with water before taking one of the small pills from the bottle in the cupboard by the sink.
Rachel swallowed the pill without saying a word and Shelby felt tears pool in her own eyes, "you need to get cleaned up sweetheart, do you want me to help you or do you want to do this on your own?"
"No" Rachel cried out, clutching at Shelby's hand, please, please don't leave me."
"I wont darling" Shelby promised, "but I need to get you some clean clothes." Shelby reached over and turned off the tap, checking the water wasn't too hot, "so how about you get in the bath, I'll go grab you some clean pyjamas and then come right back."
Rachel nodded slowly, "okay".
"I promise you" Shelby looked Rachel in the eye, "I will get something for you to change into and then I will be right back, you wont even be here for alone for five minutes."
"Okay"
Shelby kissed Rachel's forehead, "I love you."
As promised Shelby was gone for just a couple of minutes and she returned to see Rachel sitting motionless in the tub. Shelby reached for the washcloth she'd used to wipe Rachel's forehead earlier and passed it to Rachel, "here sweetheart, you need to get cleaned up." Rachel's breath was still shaky as she took the cloth from her mother, "you're okay darling" Shelby crouched beside the tub, "I'm not angry, not at all. I'm worried about you but I'm not angry, you're not going to get punished for this but you need to calm down baby."
Rachel's tiny body still shook as she began to wash herself, Shelby turned away to get a sanitary towel from the cabinet, she and Rachel had talked about tampons but there was no way in hell Shelby was even going to suggest she used one now. She placed the pad in Rachel's panties before taking the bottle of pills from the cupboard. The doctor had told her that if Rachel still hadn't calmed down after 20 minutes she should take another pill, and as much as Shelby hated drugging her child, she knew Rachel's mind wasn't with her and although she could comfort the girl it wouldn't calm her down the way it usually did and Shelby was willing to do anything she could to stop Rachel having another meltdown.
"Oh baby" Shelby sighed, pulling Rachel into her chest once the girl was dry and dressed, "it's okay, you're okay."
Rachel said nothing but allowed Shelby to hold her close as she breathed in her Shelby's relaxing scent and tried to slow her breathing down to match her mother's, "I'm sorry" she mumbled sleepily, "I'm sorry."
Shelby had been warned the anti anxiety meds might make Rachel sleepy which was why she'd asked the school to ring her if Rachel took her meds there, "there's nothing to be sorry for baby, nothing at all" she kissed Rachel's forehead and lifted the girl easily into her arms, "come on, let's get to bed." She laid Rachel in her own bed guessing Rachel wouldn't have put clean sheets on hers. "I'll be right back" she promised, collecting Edward Bear and the family quilt from Rachel's room, "here" she made sure Rachel was settled before climbing in beside her, not at all surprised when Rachel immediately snuggled up to her, reaching out to grab the hem of Shelby's shirt, "close your eyes" Shelby whispered as she flicked off the light, "go to sleep, you're okay now."
Shelby got herself settled in the bed before she pulled Rachel closer, allowing her daughter to rest her head on her shoulder, "I love you Momma"
"Oh sweetheart" Shelby kissed Rachel's forehead, "I love you too baby, so much more than you'll ever realise" she began to run her fingers gently through Rachel's hair, "I never asked you darling" Shelby spoke softly, "do you have any cramps or anything? Do you need a painkiller?"
Rachel blinked back tears again, "no, I, I'm okay, but could you, could you just..."
"Could I what sweetheart?"
"Could you maybe sing to me for a little while?"
"Of course" Shelby kissed Rachel's forehead again, "close your eyes beautiful." She hummed for a while until she thought of something to sing, "This is a crazy world, these can be lonely times. It's hard to know who's on your side most of the time. Who can you really trust? Who do you really know? Is there anybody out there who can make you feel less alone? Some times you just can't make it on your own. If you need a place where you can run, if you need a shoulder to cry on, I'll always be around. When you need some shelter from the rain, when you need a healer for your pain, I will be there time and time again. When you need someone to love you, here I am."
Shelby felt Rachel's grip on her shirt loosen and knew her song was working, Rachel was slowly drifting off to sleep. Shelby paused only for a moment to kiss Rachel again before she continued her song, "If you have broken dreams, just lay them all on me. I'll be the one who understands, so take my hand. If you reach emptiness, you know I'll do my best to fill you up with all the love that I can show someone. I promise you you'll never walk alone. Well if you need a place where you can run, if you need a shoulder to cry on, I'll always be around. When you need some shelter from the rain, when you need a healer for your pain, I will be there time and time again. When you need someone to love you, here I am."
"My beautiful girl" Shelby sighed, running her fingers through Rachel's hair, "I love you so much, I hope you know that. Today might not have gone our way but we've got tomorrow, you'll get another chance to be happy I promise you" Shelby sighed as her eyelids suddenly became heavy, "I just hope that chance comes soon."