I am absolutely overwhelmed by how many of you are still wanting to read this, I can't promise any sort of regular updates but I'm really enjoying writing this again so I don't plan on going anywhere!
As I said in the last chapter, I still don't really know where I'm taking this so if you have any ideas or suggestions, feel free to share.
And I want to apologise to anyone who's reading this all in one go, I did read through the fic before I started writing again, but it's been so long that I've lost all sense of the timeline, how long Rachel's been living with Shelby/how long she's been off school etc, so if anything seems 'off' please try and gloss over it. I'm sure I'll fall into a 'new' timeline as I get back into writing again.
Rachel felt the panic rising in her chest as she slowly walked into the basement, finding the room seemingly empty, letting out a breath she didn't realise she was holding when she reached the bottom stair, suddenly able to see Shelby, the woman sat in butterfly pose, knees bent, the soles of her feet touching and her head dropped forward to rest on her feet.
She didn't want to disturb her mother so she sat on the bottom step, content to just be close to the woman, watching as Shelby's back rose and then fell again with each steady breath she took.
Shelby didn't realise how much she'd missed doing yoga, feeling the stress and the worry about her daughter leave her body with each stretch of her muscles. She heard Rachel coming downstairs just after she'd settled into the pose, holding it for a while, feeling the stretch in her back as she waited to see if Rachel would approach her. "You can come over if you want" her voice made Rachel jump as Shelby slowly sat up, correctly guessing that Rachel wasn't planning on moving from the bottom step.
"I didn't want to disturb you" Rachel whispered as she walked over and sat on the floor beside Shelby, watching as she stretched, first towards one outstretched foot and then the other.
"I told you you could come down when you felt ready, if I'd have wanted a certain amount of time I'd have asked you to wait for me to come up."
Rachel nodded, "sorry."
"You've got nothing to apologise for" Shelby said as she sat up straight, "did you speak to Aunt Amy?"
"Yeah" Rachel nodded, "she erm, she told me I had to eat a pancake for her."
Shelby felt her heart swell with happiness as she saw Rachel smile slightly, "well then" she pushed herself to her feet and held out her hand to help Rachel up, "we'd better go and make them then hadn't we?"
Rachel nodded, unable to keep the smile from her face as she realised that, after helping her from the floor, Shelby hadn't let go of her hand, leading Rachel back upstairs and into the kitchen, "blueberry or chocolate?" she asked.
"Chocolate" Rachel smiled as Shelby let go of her hand to retrieve the ingredients they'd need. "Aunt Amy said chocolate."
Shelby smiled, glad that Rachel seemed so relaxed, that after her meltdown in the night, she'd calmed down enough to talk about pancakes with her aunt, "you'd better get the chocolate chips out then" she said as she gestured to the cupboard. Rachel did as Shelby asked, biting her lip for a minute before turning to the refrigerator and taking out the milk too, her hands shook slightly as she placed it on the counter but she hoped Shelby wouldn't be mad that she'd done it without being asked. Shelby had noticed the shake in Rachel's hand but decided not to mention it, "thank you sweetheart" she smiled, "want to get the mixing bowl out too?"
Shelby was happy to take a step back, talking Rachel through the recipe and allowing the girl to make them herself. Shelby wasn't stupid, she knew that Rachel hadn't suddenly 'recovered', that she hadn't suddenly put years of emotional trauma, manipulation and abuse, behind her, she knew there'd be setbacks, panic attacks and tears in the future, but right now, she was happy to lose herself in the moment with her carefree daughter.
"Come here" Shelby chuckled slightly when she caught sight of her daughter.
Rachel frowned slightly when Shelby gently took hold of her wrist and pulled her closer, "wha…" she stepped closer to her Mom.
Shelby dropped Rachel's wrist and gently swiped her thumb across the girl's cheek, "you have flour on your hand" she told her, "you wiped it onto your cheek".
Rachel blushed slightly, "how long has it been there?"
"Since you measured out the flour, you have some on your nose too".
"Oh, I…"
Shelby brushed the flour off Rachel's nose, "it doesn't matter, in fact it's kind of cute."
Rachel bit her lip shyly, "I'll shower after breakfast."
"Okay" Shelby nodded and gestured to the bowl of pancake batter Rachel had just mixed, "do you want me too cook them?"
"Yeah" Rachel nodded, "please."
Shelby nodded and dropped a spoonful of batter into the warm pan, "why don't you pour us both a glass of juice?" Rachel did as Shelby asked, and just a few moments later the pair were sat at the table, both with a plate of chocolate chip pancakes in front of them, "can I take a picture of you eating them?" Shelby asked, "to send to Aunt Amy."
"I'm still in my pyjamas" Rachel frowned.
"She won't mind, but if you don't want me to then that's fine."
Rachel glanced down at herself, her pyjamas consisted of an old worn tshirt and black leggings, both belonging to her mother, Shelby correctly assuming that her clothes would have been comforting to her daughter after her panic attack. "You can take the picture" she nodded.
Shelby smiled and leaned over to grab her phone from the counter, taking a picture of Rachel as she raised her fork to her mouth, adding, 'she said you asked her to eat one for you xx' before sending the message to her sister.
"Aunt Amy's going to call you later" Rachel said softly, "she erm, she said she'd ask about us all going out for pancakes one day."
"Okay" Shelby smiled, "that sounds good to me, we could spend the day with Amy and her kids if you want?"
Rachel nodded and smiled shyly, "I'd like that."
"I'll speak to her later then" Shelby promised, "probably tonight once the kids will be in bed."
"Okay" Rachel stabbed at another piece of her pancake with her fork, "thank you."
Shelby watched Rachel eat for a moment, she knew that, in the grand scheme of things, her daughter hadn't been with her for long at all, but the change from the girl who'd barely eaten a thing to the girl who'd had the courage to suggest their meal, and was now eating, seemingly without a care in the world was incredible.
"Mom?" Rachel frowned, "do I have something on my mouth?"
Shelby quickly shook her head when she realised she'd been caught staring, "no, no, I was just thinking how nice it was to see you so happy. Especially after last night." Shelby cursed herself when she saw Rachel's face fall, "I'm not mad Rachel, I'm just, I'm glad you're happy."
"I, I like living here, you make me feel safe" she whispered.
"And you will always be safe with me Darling, I would never hurt you, and I will do everything I can to make sure no one else hurts you either."
Rachel thought for a minute before asking, "do you think I'll ever go back to school?"
"That's completely up to you darling, I think that, when you're ready, you should go back to school but it doesn't have to be McKinley, or Carmel, if you'd be more comfortable starting over at a new school then we can look into that."
"I think, I think I might like to go back to McKinley, I've made friends now so things might be different this time."
"Okay" Shelby nodded, "I could set up an appointment for next week if you want, we could perhaps talk about you going back gradually, just a couple of days a week to start with, but Rachel, if anything happens, anything at all, I'll be pulling you from McKinley and you'll either be home schooled or you can go to another school, after everything that's happened to you there, this is the final chance I'm going to give that place. I'm only letting you go back this time because Sue Sylvester is acting principal and I believe she'll do more than Principal Figgins ever did."
"Okay" Rachel nodded, that seemed fair, she didn't want to go back to being tormented and assaulted on a daily basis, she could only hope that her budding friendship with Noah and his friends would work in her favour.
"Have you thought about joining any clubs?" Shelby continued to eat, hoping Rachel would do the same.
It worked, Rachel ate another piece of her pancake before nodded, "I erm, I think I might like to join the glee club" she admitted, "and maybe the track team, the coach was there when you took me to run on the track, she said I was welcome to join."
"That sounds good" Shelby said with a smile, "Coach Sylvester wants you to join the cheerios too."
"I don't…" Rachel paused, thinking about her words as she ate, "she can be a bit… intense, in her practices" she finally spoke, "Brittany once said that Coach Sylvester tried to fire her out of a cannon, and when she used a dummy to try and prove it was safe, the head and all the limbs came off."
Shelby rolled her eyes, "if you do decide to join, I'll be making it clear that you are not to be fired out of anything" Shelby told her firmly, "but it's your decision, if you don't want to join then that's fine."
"Can I think about it?"
"Of course you can, take as long as you need Darling, there's no rush for anything."