Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight
Author's note: Oh, what the hell. For the 3rd scene listen to 'Dexter Blood Theme Piano Cover' by pianistos on Youtube.
The animal died because Bella incinerated its heart.
Bella's own heart seemed to stop for several long, agonizing seconds before it started back up faster and louder than ever.
Thump, thump, thump.
The dead animal lay at her feet. Its limbs outstretched pitifully, its face looking up to the heavens, to Bella. Its eyes had yet to close. They looked at the trees, at the sky, at Bella, at nothing.
Bella stared back. At the speed of light, her mind was playing back what had happened. Everything was there...every moment, every second, every decision she made, every action she took. There was no hiding from it.
Thump, thump, thump.
Her heart continued to thunder in her chest. Without thinking she glanced at the rest of the squirrel's mutilated body and before she knew it strong, bitter vomit was forcing its way out of her stomach and onto the ground. She heaved and heaved again and again as everything she had eaten that day ended up strewn about the forest floor by the squirrel.
What have I done?
She had barely asked herself the question when suddenly she heard a noise coming from the east. Footsteps. Panic overwhelmed her. This cannot be seen. A moment later the squirrel disappeared in a fiery flash.
Edward appeared in the forest.
"Bella? Are you alright?"
She stared blankly back at him. Did he see? Did he hear the animal's tortured cries? Bella wished she could vanquish its screams from her mind along with its body, but it was still there...still ringing in her head. It would always be there, she realized. She would never be able to rid herself of that memory.
Edward continued to slowly approach her. "I heard-and smelled-you vomiting," he explained. "I was hunting not far from here. Are you alright?" He repeated.
"Yes," Bella answered. Her voice shouldn't sound so normal. Why didn't it betray her? "Something I ate must not agree with me."
He continued to move closer. Bella, who was still kneeling on the ground eyed him warily. She knew Edward was lying. He never hunted this close to town. None of them did.
"You look terrible," he muttered and kneeled alongside her. Bella gulped and forced herself not to glance down at the ashes not a yard from Edward's feet. Did fire diminish a Vampire's sense of smell? Would he still detect the burnt flesh, the animal's potent fear in the air? She felt more bile rise up in her throat as her mind momentarily flashed to the naked fear in the squirrel's eyes. Her hands shook and she swallowed the sickness in her mouth.
"Please," Edward rose and held out his hand. "Allow me to escort you back."
"I'm fine...I'm not ready to go back just yet." Bella wanted a few more minutes out here next to the remains of her...victim. She didn't know why exactly, or what she'd do with the time, but the idea felt right.
"Please," he said again. "It's not safe out here. There's a grizzly a mile away heading in this direction. I'd rather not take any chances."
Once again, Edward was lying. Did he forget how good her hearing was? She strained it now, searching for this grizzly and found nothing. She didn't like this feeling of unease that crept over her. What was he up to?
"All right," she said and allowed him to take her hand.
Charlie tapped his foot on the linoleum of the station's floor. He'd be able to leave as soon as his deputy arrived. Normally his colleagues had to force him out the door, but not today. Today he had somewhere he wanted to be and the wait was killing him.
"Good grief, Chief! You got a date with a trout or something?" The dispatcher, Nicole, had never seen her boss acting like this. It was both amusing and unnerving.
Charlie was so distracted he didn't catch drift of her question until much later. "Huh? Oh," he smiled. "Nah I'm just gonna watch the game with Billy."
Nicole grunted, "Really? You're not fooling me, Chief. You're up to something...I can tell. But hey! Don't tell little ol' Nicole, starved for any bit of interesting news. That's cool," she pouted.
He laughed and looked away just as his Deputy strolled in.
"All yours, Pete!" He yelled on his way out. Inside, his colleagues stared at one another with the same question visible on their faces: since when does Chief Swan skip?
Oblivious and unaware that his odd behavior would be tonight's main topic of conversation at the Forks police department, Charlie drove the twenty miles to La Push, gunning it a little whenever he saw a deserted stretch of highway.
Billy's house was small and somewhat shabby, but a house's construction isn't what makes it a home. Billy and his family did not want for anything, he knew. Besides, there was enough useful junk on this property to give the place a distinct sense of character.
A metal clanging and a loud "shit!" from the makeshift garage drew his attention, so Charlie walked over to investigate. This was the real reason he was here anyway.
"Chief Swan!"
Charlie almost did a double take when he saw the boy, no, the young man rise from his place on the dirt floor and limp his way.
"Jacob! What happened to your leg? And what the hell is your old man feeding you?"
If he hadn't known the boy for over half his life Charlie would never have guessed he was only 15. It's been a good few months since he saw him, sure, but this was crazy! Charlie's police instincts were telling him to check for steroids in his bedroom.
Jacob grinned good-naturedly. "Aw, I'm just a growing kid. Runs in the family, you know."
"Uh huh," Charlie muttered. "And your leg?"
"Dropped a wrench on my toe just now."
And your toe didn't break the wrench? Charlie wondered. He shook his head. He could believe what Jacob said about his physique though. A lot of kids on this reservation developed some wicked muscles in high school. Now that he was looking at Jacob up close, he recalled seeing a group of others his age on the road to La Push. Some of them looked familiar, and all of them looked like gym rats. Must be something in the water.
"Well, be careful Jacob," Charlie said. "You sure you can handle this?"
"Chief! I'm hurt!" Jacob grinned again. "You'll be begging to give me more dough when I'm done with this baby. You'll think you were driving a '68, not a '53!"
Charlie chuckled and eyed the rusty red hulk of a truck that was taking up most of the space in the 'garage.' Like everything out here in La Push, it was old and battered and used...but boy did it have character. At the moment though it looked more like it was in the middle of open heart surgery. The engine and untold number of nuts and bolts were strewn about in absolutely no order. The transmission was lying on its side in the truck bed. And was that the steering wheel on the roof?
"Don't sweat it!" Jacob's confidence almost made him forget he was a teenager. Then again the kid was a wiz with cars. Charlie was technically not allowed to have anybody but insurance and state approved shops work on police vehicles...good thing Jacob knew better than to blab about it to his friends. "It'll be ready in time. You have my word."
"Good, good," Charlie nodded and turned to leave. "Thanks a million, kid. You'll get your last check when you deliver."
"Awesome!" Jacob grinned. "Hey, who's this for, anyway?"
Charlie smiled softly. "It's for my daughter. For Bella."
The shed's roof was slanted and not like the roofs Bella had frequently slept on in the past, but it was still a rooftop and Bella still felt an odd sense of comfort in laying on it. Even if she dozed off and fell, she knew her power would prevent impact. There was no chance of falling asleep though, not when the animal she had mutilated kept appearing just beyond her closed eyelids.
What have I done?
The question replayed over and over in her mind. Bella tried to find a reason, some sense in what she'd done, but there was none to be found. She had killed that squirrel, tortured it, and until she realized exactly what she'd done...she had enjoyed it. No, no, no! She didn't like causing pain, she insisted to herself. But then...what was it about the experience that had her so hypnotised? She did NOT enjoy the torture...but she did enjoy using her powers. She was so uninhibited in the forest, so free...so in sync with the power inside her.
I don't want this.
It was surreal to think of herself in control, really in control of her powers. The time since her trip with Rosalie was one thing. This...this was something else. All her life Bella had treated what was inside her like a cancer. It was foreign and unnatural, not part of her but an invader. The monster and she were separate...and who could blame her for her logic? Bella did not control her most destructive gift...the monster did. Bella did not lash out and hurt people...the monster did. Bella did not enjoy burning, destroying...
Or did she?
When it was finally beaten into submission months ago, Bella thought the monster was now under her control. It had struggled and struggled to come out and control her like it used to, but Bella had won every time. Today, there was no fight. There was no struggle. There was neither victor nor loser. There was only Bella.
Bella was the one who tortured and killed that poor animal, not the monster. The thought brought a cold shudder through her body. Her mind once again replayed every second of that deranged encounter. Though nauseated by what her educated mind knew was wrong and immoral, Bella could not deny the feelings of euphoria and rightness that had flooded her body while she tortured the squirrel's.
The implications nearly had her throwing up again. She balled a fist around a stray piece of wood on the roof, not stopping until it hurt a little. There was only one explanation that she could think of.
She and the monster were now one.
Knock, Knock.
Cursing his timing, Bella deftly jumped through the window and raced down the stairs to open the door for Charlie.
"Hi Bella," Charlie said with a small but nervous small.
Bella didn't smile back. It was a miracle she didn't scream, really. She was able to gather some wits after a few seconds though and came to her senses.
"H-hello," she whispered.
He frowned. "You ok? You look a bit queasy."
She nodded quickly. "Mmm. Had some bad food this afternoon. Haven't been feeling too good."
"Oh," he shuffled his feet. "Well, ah...I just ordered a pizza. I guess you might not feel up to it but...if you're hungry...you wanna come into the house for a while? To eat?"
Bella was hungry, but if she had any sense left in her, any at all, she would not follow Charlie back to the house. Not after what she had just seen...
But then again, he had never invited her in. This would be the first time she had an actual meal with her father.
"Ok," she nodded.
His smile widened a little, and he stepped aside to give her some space as they walked to the house together.
Bella looked at him out of the corner of her eye, but the image that had terrified her moments ago was still there...sharp and alarming and vivid as ever.
The ghost of a smile still adorned his face as they stepped into the house together. If he could look through her eyes though, he would not be smiling. Because although Bella could plainly see her father making an effort and taking steps to have a relationship with his daughter, Bella saw something else too.
There on Charlie's face, Bella saw the twitching, tortured, screaming face of the squirrel.
Author's note: Short but, ah, no not very sweet is it?
I loved reading your reviews of the last chapter. I had a lot of fun responding (and going back and forth with a few of you!). Once again, I will respond to every review you leave. Feel free to ask questions. I won't answer possible spoilers but everything else is fair game.