To the guest who left a review yesterday, I'm not sure if you read my mind, or the doc I write this fic in or waht, but one of the things you asked to see is literally the focus of this chapter, so I hope you like it!
When I first wrote this I planed on it being a Rachel/Amy chapter, but then, after the last couple of chapters turned out to be quite Amy-centric I decided to switch Amy for Shelby. I managed to confuse myself quite a lot as I was changing the chapter, so I hope it all makes sense now!
Rachel spent the rest of the week with Amy, adding another two pairs of her Aunt's pyjama pants to her wardrobe, before spending her weekend cuddled into her Mom's side, both Shelby and Amy doing all they could to make sure Rachel was settled and comfortable.
Rachel and Shelby barely left their bed over the weekend, they watched movies together and Shelby encouraged Rachel to rest as much as she needed to, using the time that her daughter was asleep to catch up on the marking and lesson planning she hadn't been able to do in the week because she'd been spending her evenings cuddling with her baby.
"Momma" Rachel whispered, late on Sunday afternoon as she laid tucked into Shelby's side as Shelby read, Rachel had been so quiet and still that Shelby had assumed she was asleep, so she was a little startled by her daughter's voice, not knowing Rachel had been awake for a while, but had been content to just be held as she listened to Shelby's heartbeat.
"Yes Baby?" Shelby put down her book to focus on her daughter.
"Can I tell you?" Rachel asked, "about the last time I got sick?" It was something Rachel had mentioned a couple of times over the week but Shelby hadn't pushed her into talking about it.
"Yes Baby" Shelby put down her book to give Rachel her full attention.
"Can I talk to you?" she asked nervously, "about the last time I got sick?"
"Of course you can" Shelby kissed Rachel's temple, she'd mentioned it a couple of times over the past week but hadn't gone into detail and Shelby hadn't pushed her.
"Even if I think it will upset you?"
"Of course" Shelby nodded, "and you're right, it does upset me that those men weren't caring for you and loving you like I hoped they were, but that's okay, just like it's okay for you to get upset. You don't need to hold anything in for fear of me getting upset. I'm not getting upset at you Baby."
"I had a fever" Rachel whispered, "and it was making me dizzy but I, they told me to shut up and get on with my chores and I, I don't know if I tripped or I fell, but I, I remember lying on the kitchen floor and one of them, I can't even remember who, kicked me in the stomach." Shelby closed her eyes and kissed Rachel's head, letting her know she was there, that she still loved her and she wasn't angry. "When they let me go into the basement I was sick in the blankets they gave me to sleep in and they, it was a week before they let me wash them. I just had a sink that had cold water and a bar of soap. They told me I was disgusting, and ungrateful, that I ruined everything I gave them because I was an ungrateful brat. And I had to keep going to school and doing my chores even though I just wanted to sleep."
"Oh baby" Shelby kissed Rachel's head again, "you are none of those things. You were ill and they should he been taking care of you."
"I… Would you have been mad if I'd have been sick?"
"Not at all baby, and neither would Aunt Amy. If you'd have been sick, if you're sick next time you're ill, we'd help you clean up if you needed us to help you, and we'd have cleaned up your sick, then we'd have done whatever we could to make you comfortable."
"What if I was sick in your bed?"
"Do you remember when you first came to live here? You had nightmares, and one night you were so scared that you wet yourself while you were sat on my lap?" Rachel nodded, burying her head against Shelby's chest, still embarrassed by that. "I wasn't mad then was I? I got us both cleaned up, and then I laid with you didn't I?" Rachel nodded again, "and if you were sick, anywhere, I'd just do the same. I wasn't angry when you wet yourself because I knew you couldn't help it and I won't be angry if you're ever sick, because you can't help that either, you are my number one priority, if you vomit, my main concern would be you, that you're so ill you've thrown up, I will never be angry with you for being scared, for being ill, for being angry or sad. I love you Rachel and I will always love you Darling."
"I love you too Momma" Rachel nuzzled into her, "and I, I'm glad I have you."
"I'm glad I have you too Baby" she saw Rachel's eyes briefly flutter closed before snapping open again, "get some rest Baby, I'm not going anywhere."
"Promise?"
Shelby nodded and kissed Rachel's head again, "I promise."
Rachel felt well enough to go to school on Monday, and, after reminding her daughter over and over that she could come and find her if she wanted to go home early, Shelby agreed to let Rachel go back.
She met Brittany and Santana as she was walking through the parking lot from Shelby's car, Brittany, as usual, giving her a bone crushing hug, Santana asking her if she was feeling better as they walked her to her locker.
Her first two classes passed without incident, and she headed to her locker in the break between periods two and three to switch her books.
"Oh. You're back are you?" Rachel turned from her locker to find Mercedes stood behind her.
"Yeah I, I am." Rachel had never really spoken to the girl before so she wasn't sure why she wanted to talk to her now.
"So you'll be back in glee this week?"
"Yeah" Rachel nodded.
"Well consider this a warning" Mercedes spat, "I don't care how big your voice is, I am the lead in that glee club, got it? Those solos are mine. Mine. You might think you're special because you sit with the jocks and the cheerios, but you're not. They only do it because they feel sorry for you. You're just a loser like everyone else in this school, and I don't care who your Mom is. You're still a loser who needs to remember her place" she said, shoving Rachel before she walked away, the action surprising Rachel and sending her crashing back into the lockers behind her.
Rachel waited until Mercedes had walked away before brushing herself off and walking in the opposite direction, grateful that she managed to make it to a stall in the girl's bathroom before her tears began to fall.
Mercedes was right, she was a loser, she already knew that Noah and his friends only put up with her out of pity, that if they didn't know what her fathers had done they'd still be throwing slushies in her face and calling her names on a daily basis.
Maybe joining glee club was a mistake, she should have stayed away, but it was too late. She knew her Mom was enjoying coaching again, knew if she left Glee then her Mom would too and she didn't want to take that away from her, so she'd just have to suck it up and get on with it. She'd dealt with worse in the past, she could deal with this.
Rachel wiped at her tears before going to splash water on her face, it was obvious she'd been crying but there wasn't much she could do about that. She just needed to get through her next two classes and then hope her Mom didn't ask too many questions on the drive home.
"Hey" Shelby smiled as she met Rachel in the parking lot a few minutes after the lunch bel rang, "good morning?"
"Yeah" Rachel nodded, "it was fine."
Shelby frowned slightly, Rachel usually had more to say than that, but she didn't push her, "okay" she said as she walked over to the car, "ready to go?"
Rachel nodded, not saying anything as she walked over to Shelby's car and slipped into the passenger seat.
"Are you okay?" Shelby asked, they were almost home and Rachel hadn't spoken a word.
Rachel nodded, "I'm fine" she said unconvincingly.
"I know you're not" Shelby reached out to gently squeeze Rachel's knee "but I'm not going to force you to talk to me if you don't want to."
"I'm fine" Rachel said again, a little more conviction in her voice this time, "honestly."
"Okay" Shelby wasn't convinced but she didn't push it, "but we can talk later if you change your mind, or you can call Aunt Amy."
"I know" Rachel nodded, "but I'm fine Mom."
Shelby still wasn't convinced but she didn't mention it again, not wanting to force Rachel into talking if she didn't want to. "Do you want me to come in for a bit?" she asked as she pulled up outside their house, she usually had about ten or fifteen minutes before she had to leave again so she wasn't late for her afternoon classes.
Rachel shook her head, "I'll be okay, you go back to work" she forced a smile, leaning over to kiss Shelby's cheek, "I love you."
Shelby's worry for her daughter grew, Rachel had never turned down the opportunity to spend time with her before and she found herself desperately thinking back to that morning, wondering if she'd done something to upset the girl, but she'd been fine when she'd got out of the car, "okay" Shelby forced a smile of her own, "I'll see you tonight then, I love you baby."
"See you tonight" Rachel was on the verge of tears as she slipped from the car, barely making it inside before they began to fall. She wanted nothing more than for her Mom to hold her, to tell her everything was going to be okay, but she knew she'd already been too much of a burden on the people around her. She was almost 16, sun needed to start acting like it and stop acting like a child.
She took herself upstairs, not bothering to make lunch and, despite every part of her wanting to curl up on Shelby's bed and cry, she walked into her own bedroom instead, taking out her books and desperately trying to concentrate on her homework.
The house was silent when Shelby came home from work, and, after she saw the living room was empty, she made her way upstairs, wanting to cry herself when she saw Rachel curled up on her own bed, her eyelashes still wet and her tears shining on her cheeks as she laid on top of the covers after crying herself to sleep. Shelby bit her lip, wanting nothing more than to pull the teen into her arms and hold her until she felt better. Instead she made her way into her own bedroom, getting Rachel's blanket and bear, covering the girl with the blanket and tucking the bear under her arms, "I love you" she whispered, dropping a soft kiss to her forehead, "no matter what's going on, I will always love you so much Baby."
Shelby hoped that Rachel would feel better after her nap but it wasn't to be. She had to go upstairs to ask Rachel to come down for dinner, a meal that Rachel picked at but barely ate. And then, after silently watching a movie with her Mom, brushing off Shelby's concerns with a simple "I'm fine" and answering her questions as succinctly as possible, Rachel made her way upstairs, telling Shelby that she was going to sleep in her own room and wishing her goodnight.
Rachel was pretending to be asleep when Shelby went up to bed, but she didn't say anything, simply kissed her forehead, wished her goodnight and told her that she loved her before tucking the covers around her, being sure to leave Rachel's door open and the hall light on as she went into her own room.
Neither Shelby nor Rachel slept well that night, and Rachel didn't come down for breakfast on Tuesday morning, once again pretending to be asleep when Shelby came in to say goodbye. When she saw the tears on Rachel's cheeks, Shelby briefly considered calling Sue, thought about taking the day off to spend it by her daughter's side, but she wasn't going to force anything, just hoped Rachel would come to her in time. "I'm going to work" she whispered, gently brushing Rachel's bangs back from her face, "I won't be late home, and you can call me or text me if you need anything Baby. I love you so, so much." she straightened Rachel's covers again before kissing her hair and leaving the room.
Rachel wrapped her arms around her chest, holding tightly to herself to stop herself reaching out, wishing she could feel her Mom's arms around her, and her tears began to fall as she heard the front door close and Shelby's car start in the driveway, "I love you too Momma" she whispered quietly into the empty house .
Shelby's concern for Rachel only grew when Noah came to see her before the first bell on Wednesday morning. "Miss C" he stood in the doorway to her classroom, "can I talk to you? About Rachel."
"Of course" Shelby gestured to a table at the front of the room, sitting down with the boy.
"I erm, I just wondered if she'd said anything to you. She's been… she's been different, she won't reply to our messages, she wouldn't sit with us in class on Monday, I thought that it was just me, that I might have been a jerk and upset her without realising it but I've spoken to the others and she's doing it to everyone, even Brittany and nobody knows why. I just, I wondered if she was okay."
Shelby sighed, "I don't know Noah" she said honestly, "I thought it was just me, she's spent most of her time sitting alone in her room since Monday, I even struggle to get her to come out for meals. It's…I don't know what it is, but I promise I'll get to the bottom of it."
Noah nodded, "I'll keep an eye on her Miss C, and let you know if I notice anything."
"Thank you Noah" Shelby smiled, standing as he stood, "I'd appreciate that."
Shelby waited until Noah had left the room before collapsing in her chair with her head in her hands, now she really was worried about Rachel, she'd spoken to Amy about it, and the news that Rachel had turned down Amy's offer for the two of them to spend the day together on Tuesday, that she'd replied to her Aunt's text with a simple, 'no thank you', had only made Shelby worry more, and, now Rachel was pulling away from her friends, she knew she had to get to the bottom of things.
She drove home at lunchtime like she did every Wednesday, only today, instead of Shelby going in to get Rachel, the teen was waiting for her on the doorstep and slipped into the passenger seat without a word. Shelby's heart was breaking for the girl. She'd tried talking to her but it was obvious that Rachel didn't want to share her worries, but whatever was going on was crushing Rachel and Shelby knew she couldn't watch her baby self destruct for much longer. 'Tonight' she told herself, 'we get home tonight and you don't let her go until she tells you what's going on'. "Have you eaten?" Shelby asked as she backed off the driveway, "or do you want to grab something on the way back? We've got time."
"I've eaten" Rachel lied, her voice little more than a whisper, not trusting her voice to hold out for anything more.
"Okay" Shelby smiled sadly, fighting back the urge to reach out and pull her daughter into her arms, knowing that Rachel wouldn't be responsive to that right now.
Rachel made her own way to glee practice that afternoon, sitting at the back away from everyone else, and she didn't look up when Shelby entered the room, a few minutes late after waiting in her classroom for Rachel to join her so they could walk to glee together like they usually did.
"Right" Will clapped his hands together to get everyone's attention, "we're going to do something different today. I'm going to split you into small groups and give you a song to work on, we've got a competition coming up and I want to hear all your voices so Ms Corcoran and I can start putting a set list together, I know you all, but Ms Corcoran hasn't heard a lot of you sing solo, they're all songs you know and we're not expecting you to be perfect, so just do your best and let's show her what we've got all right?"
Rachel was put in a group with Tina and Quinn, and was grateful that they seemed happy to sort things out between them and didn't need her input, "so this would be your verse Rachel" Quinn scribbled on the paper. "I'll sing this one and Tina will do this one, and then we'll all sing the chorus together, is that okay?"
"My verse?" Rachel's eyes widened in fear.
"Yeah, Mr Schue wants to hear us all sing. So we can do a verse each and join together on the chorus."
"I don't…"
"It's only six lines" Quinn tried to reassure her, "and we'll be up there with you."
"Yeah" Tina flashed a friendly smile, "it's okay to be nervous, I was the same when I first joined, but everyone's really friendly, you'll be okay" she wanted to put Rachel at ease.
Rachel nodded, "okay" she said quietly, not wanting to start an argument or make a fuss, Quinn was right, it was just six lines, she could do that.
Quinn and Tina suggested that they went first to get their performance out of the way, and Rachel agreed, once it was done it was done and she could go back to sitting in the corner out of everyone's way.
She was shaking with nerves as she stood up in front of everyone but then she felt Quinn's pinky reach for hers and she wanted to cry, she'd forced her way into their friendship group, and even though she'd tried to distance herself from them over the past few days so they didn't have to bother with her, they still felt obligated to try and comfort her.
"That was great girls" Will beamed once they'd finished, "and Rachel, you were great, thank you." He knew the girl had been reluctant to perform so far, and he'd half expected her to ask if she could sit out from this too, so he'd been pleasantly surprised to see her step up and only hoped that this was the start of her confidence growing.
"You were great today" Shelby smiled once practice was over.
"Thank you" Rachel couldn't make eye contact with Shelby for fear that the tears she was fighting back would begin to fall.
"I just need to speak to Mr Schuester about a couple of things, I'll be five minutes, ten at the most, do you want to go and grab your things from your locker and meet me by the car." Rachel nodded but Shelby put a hand on her shoulder to stop her walking away, "I love you Rachel."
Rachel still couldn't look at her Mom as she quietly told her, "I love you too" and left the room.
"Hey, I thought I'd made myself clear. You stand in the back and away along!" Mercedes came up behind Rachel in the corridor and gave her a shove.
"Mercedes" Kurt frowned, "leave her alone."
"Why? She thinks that just because her Mommy has joined the glee club with her to hold her hand that she can take all of my solos away? Some of us have had to work hard for that. We didn't just waltz in and get it handed to us. I am the lead in that glee club" Mercedes poked Rachel in the chest with her index finger, "me. Not you. So you can back off or you'll be sorry."
"Oh will she?" neither Mercedes or Rachel had seen Puck, Quinn, Brittany and Santana come round the corner, and Puck was quick to approach them when he heard Mercedes words.
"Oh please" Mercedes rolled her eyes, "as if you really want to be friends with this dwarf."
"Rachel isn't a dwarf" Brittany frowned.
"She's a loser, and a few months ago you'd have said the same, she's a loser but she thinks she can waltz into our glee club with her Mommy and try and take over."
"Don't be stupid Mercedes, Rachel said herself that she didn't want a solo. She was just doing what Mr Schue asked us to do. And Miss C has won nationals with VA several times, she knows what she's doing, she's here to help us." Quinn told her with a roll of her eyes.
"What is it?" Mercedes asked, "is Miss C paying you to pretend to like her or something because I can't see why anyone would willingly want to spend time with that freak. From what I've heard, even her dads didn't want her."
Rachel couldn't hold back a sob at that, Mercedes was right, nobody wanted to stick around, even her own Mom only put up with her because she had to.
Santana saw red when she heard Rachel's pained whimper and flew at Mercedes, screaming and cursing in Spanish as she tried to attack the other girl.
"What on earth is going on here?" Will and Shelby had heard the commotion and arrived just in time to find Rachel crying in Brittany's arms, Quinn and Puck desperately trying to keep a hold of Santana as Kurt tried to calm Mercedes down. "Language Santana!" Will was surprised by the amount of Spanish curse words the teen knew.
"Nah, let me get her" Santana struggled against the hands holding her, "nobody gets to speak about my friends like that and get away with it."
Shelby took one look at Rachel clinging to Brittany and put her index fingers in her mouth, letting out an ear piercing whistle that stunned everyone, including Will, into silence, "one of you, and just one of you, needs to tell us what the hell is going on here."
"Mercedes was being mean to Rachel" it was Brittany who spoke. "She called her a loser and asked if you paid us to be her friends, but you don't, we're her friends because she's cool and we like her. But then Mercedes said Rachel was a freak and nobody wants to spend time with her, not even her dads" Rachel let out another quiet whimper, "then Rachel started crying and Santana got angry."
Shelby was furious and it took every ounce of self control not to let Santana do whatever she wanted to the girl, "is this true?" Will asked, seeing the anger bubbling in Shelby's eyes.
"Mercedes was angry that Rachel got a solo in rehearsal." Kurt knew his words would get him in trouble with Mercedes but he knew the way she'd been treating Rachel wasn't fair, especially the name calling and the comment about her dads.
"The entire glee club got set a task revolving around solos today Mercedes" Shelby put her hands on her hips, "did you verbally assault everyone else too? Or was it just Rachel?"
"I...I…"
Shelby shook her head and turned to Will, "can you deal with this? I need to get Rachel home."
Will nodded, looking over at Brittany as she rocked with Rachel, whispering quietly to her, "of course" he nodded, "my office Mercedes, the rest of you can wait in the choir room until I'm ready to speak to you."
Brittany didn't let go of Rachel until Shelby's arms were firmly around her, "I'll see you on Friday" Brittany kissed Rachel's cheek, "but you can text me later if you want" she said with a smile before following everyone else into the choir room.
"Oh baby" Shelby held Rachel as she began to sob harder, "it's okay, I've got you, I've got you."
"I'm sorry" Rachel whimpered, "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry"
Shelby felt Rachel's legs give way, her whole body shaking as she sobbed, "you've got nothing to be sorry for" she told her as she carefully lowered them both to sit on the floor, "It's okay baby, you're okay". She sat on the floor, holding Rachel close until she had nothing left to cry, rubbing circles on her back until her breaths evened out, "okay" Shelby helped Rachel to her feet, keeping a tight hold on her, "let's get you home baby, it's okay, you're going to be okay."