Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

Author's note: Soundtrack for this chapter is "Inanna" by Armand Amar. You can find it on youtube under profile ExtraBSO.

Before even opening her eyes, Bella sensed it was still night. Their little cabin was surprisingly well insulated because even though she knew it was freezing outside, here under the thick covers she was uncomfortably warm. Why didn't she remember getting into bed? Oh...

Emmett. He had coaxed her into talking. She had talked...and talked and talked. Once the first words were spoken everything that she had kept buried had tumbled out until she was too tired to say another word. What was going to happen now? She had been so ashamed of herself, so afraid to let another person see the darkness within her that even now, having already spilled her secrets to someone, she was feeling more than queasy.

But Emmett did not back away from her. He listened quietly and when the tears started, held her until she stopped shaking. She should've known, really. Of all her friends, Emmett was the most trustful and the most innocent. He believed her when she said she didn't really want to hurt anyone...even though she wasn't sure if she could believe it herself.

Too many thoughts. Her brain felt too crowded, as if all her thoughts were suddenly in motion when she just needed to be still. She kicked the covers off of her and padded over to the window, through which the moon shone brilliantly in the sky. Focus on that, she told herself. There's so much beauty out here...and you don't want to burn it. You don't, you don't, you don't, she firmly admonished herself. She stood there looking and unseeing for so long as she slowly cleared her mind that she almost missed it. In fact, her eyes had probably raked over them several times in the last few minutes without her realizing it...

It was Rosalie. And Emmett. They were far, close to the water and partly obscured by a big dune but their figures were unmistakable. And while Bella was too far away to see any details, the movement of their bodies was too obvious, too deliberate to be anything other than what it was. They were making love.

Bella's heart beat like a drum in her chest as she watched, mesmerized, unable to avert her eyes. They were moving so slowly...Emmett was sitting up and leaning back comfortably on something she couldn't make out...and Rosalie was on top of him, facing him. Her arms and legs were wrapped tightly around him...

Bella was still breathing. Her body was frozen, but her breathing did not falter. Her mind, empty and calm after forcibly clearing it of the terrible, fiery thoughts from before, remained still and motionless as she watched. She stood there for what felt like an eternity...and still Rosalie kept moving.

She'd read enough to know what she was supposed to feel. Watching your lover have sex with someone else was supposed to incite anger and jealousy inside her. She was supposed to be hurt and devastated. Polyamorous relationships like theirs did not necessarily mean the people partaking in them were privy to such intimate knowledge and displays. So even they, though fully aware and accepting of additional relationships, would understandably be affected by a sight like the one playing out on the beach...especially if it was the first time. Bella's mind scrambled through book after book and her limited human experience, looking for something, anything to give her guidance and a clue to her own emotions. She wished Jasper were here to explain her feelings.

Maybe if the distance between them wasn't so great and she could see more...maybe if the cool breeze caressing her face wasn't so soothing...maybe if the moonlight reflecting off of Rosalie's skin wasn't so heart-stoppingly beautiful. Maybe, in a different setting under different circumstances she might feel the things she was supposed to feel. But right now all she could think of was how beautiful Rosalie looked. And all she could feel was love for her.

Rosalie was looking at Emmett now. Their foreheads touched and although Bella couldn't see her facial expression, she imagined the tender looks she and Rosalie always gave one another when they made love like this. She imagined Emmett looking at her the same way...him pouring out his love for her through his eyes the way Bella tried to do the same for her. And strangely enough, the emotion she felt next was happiness...happiness that Rosalie got to be so loved. Rosalie was an angel, and she deserved this love and more...

With a start Bella realized her usual tight rein on her power was loose and unrestrained. Yet nothing burned. She double checked to be sure and finally took her eyes off of the couple to do so. Nothing was amiss. There was no terrible crackling of flames or red in the night; only the sounds of the ocean and the breeze...and in the distance, the swaying bodies of the love of her life and the man who loved her.

The next morning, Bella gradually awoke from the racket the birds were making. She thought she closed the window...

"I know you're awake."

Bella opened her eyes and found Rosalie sitting on the bed next to her.

"Hi..." She mumbled and sat up a little.

Rosalie said nothing, but she did lean in and kiss her tenderly on the cheek. "I made you breakfast," she said softly. "Don't give me that look. It's fine. Perfectly edible."

Bella bit her tongue and took the plate of god-knows-what from her. It looked like a hybrid of sausages and mashed potatoes...in some kind of soup.

I will eat it because I love her. I will eat it because I love her.

She picked at it and wolfed down a few bites in silence. All the while, Rosalie watched from beside her with an unreadable expression. When Bella had enough that she could set her plate aside without offending her, she did so and shyly asked, "Where's Emmett?"

Rosalie gave her a long look before she finally answered. "He went hunting. He...thought it would be best for us to talk alone about last night."

Bella must have blushed bright scarlet. "Uh, it's ok...we don't have to-"

"I'm referring to the conversation you had with him, Bella," she interrupted her gently. "Not about what you saw. That will be the next order of business...though we can start with that if you prefer."

Fuck. "Um, sorry about that."

"There's no need to feel sorry, Bella," Rosalie held her hand as she spoke. "Something like this was bound to happen eventually to one of you. Though I am surprised...and impressed that nothing blew up as a result."

"Yeah..." Bella really didn't want to talk about this. It was embarrassing enough that she saw what she did and worse, that she didn't immediately shut her eyes and turn away like any normal person would. "I wasn't upset by it," she said quietly as she squeezed the hand that fit so nicely in hers. "Honestly, I expected to be but I wasn't."

Rosalie took her plate and set it on the nightstand. She opened her arms and Bella automatically found her place inside them. "What did you feel?" The older girl asked.

Did she have a better grasp of what went on inside her than she did last night? Bella thought for a few moments. It was hard because unlike the Vampires, she did not have decades of living to draw from. Emmett and Rosalie had a decided advantage over her in this case.

"Emmett said something to me when he found me in Colorado...when he brought me back to you," she started. Beside her, Rosalie looked up, surprised at where Bella was taking the conversation. "He said that you do crazy things for your mate. He said that when you fell for me, it was like your heart got bigger to accommodate your love for the two of us." She could see Rosalie's lips twitch upward. She turned a little inside her arms so they faced each other. "Watching you with him last night...seeing the...physical proof of your love for him...it didn't feel like there wasn't room in your heart for me." She touched the spot on Rosalie's chest where her heart lay still. It may be dead in the literal sense, but Bella knew it was alive and full of Rosalie's spirit. "I know I'm in there. Last night, even though you were with him I never felt like I wasn't in there."

The way Rosalie was looking at her...Bella felt naked and invisible at the same time. Rosalie had a way of stripping her to the bone with nothing but her eyes. Because of her, Bella didn't care about the shed or the bullies or that Charlie would probably never really forgive her. Because of all the Cullens really, to be fair...But it was Rosalie's heart that had become her home, and during moments like this...when she looked at her like that...it was like being wrapped in a silk blanket in which every strand was Rosalie, Rosalie, Rosalie.

The kiss was so tender and soft she barely felt it. Rosalie hugged her tightly and continued to kiss her softly while Bella relaxed in her embrace.

"You're not off the hook yet, Bella," Rosalie said sternly. She felt a little guilty seeing how obviously uncomfortable the girl was but it couldn't be avoided. Rosalie was too relieved that Bella had finally spoken up not to do this.

Bella sighed and tensed in Rosalie's arms. Not two hours had passed since breakfast. The two of them spent the morning lazing and lounging around, Rosalie mostly quiet as she mulled over Bella's words, and Bella grateful for sidestepping the other issue...the one Rosalie was insisting on bringing up now.

"I love you, Bella," Rosalie said softly. "I love you more than I can possibly show. Why didn't you come to me?"

She could practically feel Bella's walls coming up. "Don't shut me out," she begged. "There's nothing you can say that will make me think less of you. I promise you that."

"Don't make promises you can't keep," Bella whispered, and Rosalie's heart broke when she heard the sad resignation in her voice.

"Bells-"

"I'm not a good person, Rose," Bella interrupted. She's not the saint she's led you all to believe. That was what Edward had said to her, and Rosalie curled her lip back at the memory of that conversation, grateful Bella couldn't see her face.

"Are you planning to elaborate?" She asked.

Bella squeezed the arms around her and looked out to the sea. They were sitting in the sand only a few feet away from the water's edge. Jagged rocks littered this section of the beach which meant there were unlikely to be any other people out here. Rosalie took advantage of the pause in their talk to pepper the back of her neck with soft kisses and to hug her as closely as she could without hurting her. The way they were sitting...Rosalie practically a chair for Bella...made Rosalie almost salivate with want. Maybe she should've hunted too...

"You heard everything with Emmett, right?" Bella asked. She nodded. "It's not just that I have to constantly tell myself not to blow things up." She paused and took a deep breath. "I want to. I want to do these horrible things. I want to set everything on fire. And...I think I want to watch Jessica and Lauren burn."

"Oh, Bella," Rosalie continued to kiss her hair. "Why do you think you've been struggling so much, hmm? If you were such a bad person, why on earth would this be driving you crazy? You'd just do it, and to hell with everything."

"Bella, all of us struggle with something like this. Most vampires think humans are just walking blood bags. That's what we're supposed to think. We're surrounded by humans. Don't you think we're tempted too? Those bitches...every time I hear them making a derogatory remark about you-and I hear a lot better than you, sweetie-I want to crush their skulls."

"What stops you?" Bella asked.

Rosalie paused. "I remind myself that they're more than what I see," she said. "They're assholes, yes...but each of them is also someone's friend, someone's child, maybe someone's sister. They have hobbies and passions. Someday they might make a contribution to the world. Someday, they might be mothers. That usually quells my desire to behead them."

If only Rosalie's guilt had to do with wanting to murder people. But she couldn't tell Bella that her single biggest struggle was one she was experiencing right this very moment. Bella's neck was centimeters from her fangs. All she had to do with lean in a little more. One quick bite. That's all it would take. Then Bella would be hers forever.

She's Bella. She's amazing. She's smart and creative and talented. She's going to make a contribution. She's someone's daughter. She...someday, she might be someone's mother.

Bella leaned further back and Rosalie had to quickly turn her head to the side to avoid grazing her flesh with her teeth. It was much harder than she'd like to admit.

Though only easier by a few degrees, Rosalie tore her eyes away from Bella's neck and turned to watch the waves in front of them. The tide was coming in and she could feel the spray of water hitting their feet. What sun they had was long gone, vanished somewhere behind the steely gray clouds.

Bella fell back so much that soon Rosalie was able to kiss her cheek, and she did so over and over again. "I believe in you," she whispered. "I will always bet on you."

She cradled her in her arms as they both lay back in the sand. The tears in Bella's eyes reminded her of the humanity that was both a blessing and a curse to Rosalie.

"I love you," Bella breathed into her neck. "I love you. I love you. I love you..."

And then Bella was kissing her. Wildly. Blindingly. Rosalie understood exactly where this was coming from. In her weakest moments when her memories called up the horrific end of her human life she would cling to Emmett just like this. It was the need to feel something other than the poisonous thoughts.

But there was something she needed to do before they gave in to what they both wanted.

"Bella," she murmured. "Wait...wait. Do you see the fire right now?"

She guessed right. Bella looked downcast, but nodded firmly.

"I want you to close your eyes," she continued. "Don't drive yourself crazy telling it to stop like you've been doing. Instead think of...think of your music. Think about flying with me. Picture us on our hammock in the sun..."

She waited, hopeful. I believe in you, Bella. I believe in you.

Bella opened her eyes..

"What do you see?" She whispered.

The spark in her eyes told her everything she needed to know as it always had. The warmth of Bella's love went through her impenetrable skin and settled in her hollow chest.

"I see you."

Author's note: I have almost as much fun picking out music as I do writing. I hope you liked "Innana" as well of course as this chapter.

These chapters take a good 6-8 hours to write, not to mention the endless time I spend mulling over everything in my head. Please take a minute to leave some feedback. Constructive criticism, inquisitive questions, and analyses are highly appreciated! Until next time!