I'm away from home right now and don't know if I'll have WiFi later so I'm posting this a little earlier than usual!
Spawn - Rachel started seeing a therapist when sh first moved in with Shelby, I think it was briefly mentioned a few chapters ago, but in my head she's still seeing the this will be talked about at her appointment.
Smurfgirlx - I have plans to pair up both Shelby and Rachel later on in the story, but you'll just have to wait and see who they end up with!
On a completely different subject, I have an idea bouncing round my head for another Rachel/Shelby fic but it would be a crossover with Rent, where Maureen is Shelby's younger sister. Would that be something you're interested in reading?
Shelby kept hold of Rachel's hand, only letting go once they reached the car. "When we get home" Shelby turned to Rachel once they were both in the vehicle, "we're going to get changed into something comfortable, and then we're going to talk Baby, you can decide where we talk but we will be talking." She used her index finger to raise Rachel's chin, forcing her daughter to look her in the eye, "I'm not mad Darling, not with you, I'm not mad and I'm not angry, you don't need to worry."
"Okay Momma" Rachel whispered.
Shelby leaned over to kiss Rachel's forehead, "I love you Baby."
Rachel felt tears pricking in her eyes, "I love you too Momma."
"Come on" Shelby squeezed Rachel's hand, "let's get home."
Shelby sent Rachel upstairs to change once they were home and she made drinks for them both, taking them upstairs with a bowl of fruit before changing herself.
She found Rachel sat on her own bed, dressed in a pair of Amy's pyjama pants and a tshirt that Shelby once called her own. "Hey" she said softly as she stood in the doorway.
"Hi" Rachel whispered.
"Shall we get comfortable somewhere?" Shelby asked, "so we can talk."
"Yeah" Rachel didn't really want to talk but knew her Mom wasn't going to let this drop easily.
"Do you want to get in our bed?" Shelby asked, or stay here? Or go downstairs? Or into the basement? We could do some yoga while we talk if you want?" Shelby wanted Rachel to know she had a choice.
"O, our bed?" she frowned.
"It's not been my bed for a long time Baby, if you want to sit, lay, sleep, anything on that bed then you are more than welcome to." Rachel nodded but said nothing, could feel her stomach twisting and was sure that if she spoke she'd vomit even though she'd barely eaten over the past couple of days. "Rach?" Shelby prompted.
"The bed please" Rachel whispered, "yo… our bed."
"Okay" Shelby held out her hand, "bring your blanket and Edward if you want to"
Rachel nodded and picked up her blanket and her bear before taking Shelby's hand and following her into the master bedroom. "Do you want to watch a movie?"
Shelby's words surprised Rachel, she thought her Mom wanted to talk, was preparing herself to hear how stupid she was for not saying anything, for letting Mercedes' words get to her and not just ignoring her, "yeah, okay" she finally managed to mumble when she realised Shelby was waiting for a response.
Shelby put Rachel's favourite movie on before getting into bed, settling herself back against the headboard and gesturing for Rachel to do the same, the teen currently sat nervously on the edge of the bed. "Can I…" Shelby held out her arms, not sure if Rachel would allow herself to be held. "Oh Darling" she whispered as Rachel almost jumped into her arms as she began to cry again, "it's okay" she whispered as she rubbed circles on her back, "you're okay, you're okay."
"I'm sorry" Rachel hiccuped as she tried to calm herself down.
Shelby wiped at Rachel's tears with her thumbs and passed her a glass of apple juice, letting her have a drink before asking, "what are you sorry for."
"For everything" Rachel whispered, "for making you look after me, for being such a loser, for getting upset and not just getting over it."
"Firstly" Shelby used her index finger to lift Rachel's chin, "I'm going to keep telling you until you believe it, you never need to apologise for how you're feeling. Not to me. If a situation makes you angry, or scared, or upset, then that's okay, you feel how you feel, and however you feel, we'll find a way to deal with that okay. And I think anyone would be upset by the things Mercedes said to you, I know I would be."
"I just want to be able to get on with things" Rachel whispered, "I thought it would be different this time."
Shelby closed her eyes and kissed Rachel's hair, "Mercedes was out of line, the problem is with her, not with you, and I promise you that Mr Schuester and me and Principal Sylvester if necessary will make sure that whatever is going on with her stops now okay. But if you want to change schools, if you want to be home schooled, you just have to say the words Rach and I'll make it happen."
Rachel shook her head, "thank you, but I think I want to stay at McKinley with my friends. If they're still my friends..."
"You don't need to thank me Darling, that's okay, it's your decision and after how they reacted to Mercedes today, I don't think you need to doubt if they're still your friends. You aren't making me look after you either. Do you remember when you first came here?" Rachel nodded against Shelby's chest, "we had a lot of visits from the social worker?" Rachel nodded again, "if I didn't want you here I wouldn't have gone through that, I'd have told her to find you somewhere else to live but I didn't, because I want you here. I want you to be here Rachel. I want to love you and make sure you have everything you need, whether that's clothes, food or even just a hug after a long day. I will laugh with you and I'll cry with you, I'll help you calm down when you're angry and I'll hold your hand if you're scared. You are my daughter and I love you so much more than you can ever imagine Rachel, everything I do for you I do because I love you, not because I have to or because you make me do it. I do it because I'm your Mom, because I love you and because I want to."
"I love you too Momma" Rachel whispered.
Shelby smiled and kissed Rachel's head again, "and for the record, you're not a loser. You are brave, you're strong, no matter what life throws at you you just keep getting back up and trying again. You're intelligent, you're funny and kind, after everything that's happened you still love with all your heart. You're beautiful Rachel, inside and out, and if that's what makes someone a loser then I don't think that's a bad thing, do you?"
"I'm a teenager and I can't sleep when I'm not with you" Rachel whispered, "I'm stupid."
"No" Shelby corrected her, "you're hurting and that's okay. You've been through a lot and we're still working through that. You're strong enough to admit that you need comfort, and you're adult enough to accept that comfort. You're intelligent enough to understand, and confident enough to accept that this isn't something you can deal with alone, and you're humble enough to accept, and be grateful for the help you need."
"I told Aunt Amy I didn't want to see her" Rachel whispered.
"I know" Shelby ran her fingers through Rachel's hair.
"Is she mad?"
"Not at all, she's probably worried about you but she won't be mad with you." Rachel didn't say anything so Shelby gently suggested, "why don't you call her or send her a message? See if she wants to get lunch with you when I'm at work tomorrow?"
"What if she says no?" Rachel whispered, "because I said no to her."
"She wouldn't do that. She would only say no if she already has other plans, and if that happens you can just arrange to see her another time." She could tell Rachel was still worried, "I could ask her for you, but I don't want you to think she's only saying yes because I've asked her."
Rachel shook her head, "will you ask her?"
"Of course" Shelby reached out a hand for her phone, quickly typing out a message, asking her sister if she'd like to have lunch with Rachel tomorrow, showing the text to her daughter before pressing send.
Amy's reply came almost instantly, Shelby smiling as she showed Rachel her phone, 'Absolutely! I have a couple of things to do in the morning but tell her I'll be over about 11.30. Love you both xx'
"Thank you" Rachel whispered, yawning as she snuggled closer to her Mom.
"Nothing to thank me for" Shelby kissed her hair again, "don't go to sleep just yet, let's get something to eat, I know you must be hungry" she said, passing Rachel the untouched bowl of fruit she'd made them to snack on, "eat this now, then we can both have a quick power nap before dinner and then an early night, I think we must both need it, because I don't sleep well when you're not in here either."
"I'm so… "
Shelby put her index finger on Rachel's mouth, stopping her mid sentence, "you don't need to apologise", she used a fork to stab a grape and held it out towards Rachel, "now eat" she said, a smile on her face to show Rachel she wasn't angry, "Momma wants a nap."
Rachel wrapped her arms tightly around Shelby, "I really do love you Mom."
"And I really do love you too baby."
It was a little before 11.30 when Amy let herself into Shelby's the next morning, "Rach" she called into the seemingly empty house, "it's me." Amy heard footsteps upstairs and just a few seconds later found Rachel throwing herself into her arms, "hey Pretty Girl" she kissed her hair, "how are you doing?"
"I'm sorry" Rachel murmured against Amy's chest as she clung to her.
"You've got nothing to apologise for Rach, and even if you had, I'd forgive you in a heartbeat, now" she kissed Rachel's hair, "I'm starving so where do you want to eat? Do you want to eat out or do you want to grab something and come back here?"
"I don't mind" Rachel shrugged, finally letting go of her Aunt.
"Okay" Amy took Rachel's jacket from the coat rack on the wall and held it out to her, "let's go to the mall, we can see if anything takes our fancy in the food court and if not we'll make a plan B from there."
They settled on a burger restaurant once they reached the mall, Amy shrugging off her jacket before she sat opposite Rachel. "Is your arm okay?" Rachel asked, noticing a large bruise on the inside of Amy's elbow, a small circular bandaid in the middle of the bruise.
Amy followed Rachel's gaze to her arm and nodded, "I'm fine, I had some blood drawn this morning, there was a student nurse and it took her a couple of tries to get anything."
"Oh" Rachel nodded, "okay."
"It's nothing to worry about" Amy told her, "we don't want to make a big deal about it, but I've told your Mom and I don't mind telling you, Jim and I are going to start trying for another baby soon so I made an appointment for a check up, just to make sure everything's okay. It was just a check up, you don't need to worry about me."
"Okay" Rachel nodded, "I…" she wasn't sure what she wanted to say, "I'm glad you're okay" she said.
Amy took Rachel's hand and kissed her knuckles, "I'm absolutely fine Pretty Girl, I promise. Now" she let go of Rachel's hand and passed her a menu, "what do you want to eat?"
Rachel wasn't sure what to order as she studied the menu, she was getting more confident about eating out with her Mom, about choosing what she wanted to eat and not worrying about it, but eating out with Amy was different somehow and she didn't want her aunt to think she was taking advantage or being rude.
"What do you fancy Pretty Girl?" Amy asked after they'd spent a while looking at the menu.
"Probably just a salad" Rachel said quietly, choosing one of the cheapest items in the menu.
"Is that what you want?" Amy looked Rachel in the eye.
Rachel dipped her head as she whispered, "it's expensive here."
"Oh Rach" Amy reached for her hand, "if I thought it was too expensive I wouldn't have brought you here, I think I'm going to have the ultimate burger with fries and onion rings" Amy's stomach rumbled at the thought of the double bacon and cheese burger she'd be ordering.
Amy looked to Rachel when their server came over a few minutes later and asked if they were ready to order, "could I get the grilled chicken burger" she asked quietly, "and a side salad."
Amy ordered her burger, waiting for the server to leave before looking up at Rachel, "you don't have to tell me any details" she said softly, "but are you okay Rach? Honestly."
Rachel nodded, "I… I wasn't and I… I, I don't know, Mom, she erm, some stuff happened and Mom found out, we talked about it last night and I… " Rachel sighed, "I don't know if I'm okay right now but I think I will be."
"I'm glad to hear that" Amy took Rachel's hand, thanking their server as their drinks were brought over before speaking again, "you know you can always come to me Rachel, even if you don't want to talk about anything, I won't ever ask questions, we can cuddle or we can just sit together."
Rachel nodded, "I do know that. I just… I'm not used to this, to having people, family who love me and I forget sometimes."
"And that's okay" Amy told her, "we'll remind you as many times as we need to until it starts to stick."
"I know" Rachel nodded, "and if there's a next time I'll try and remember" she promised.
"It's your Mom's birthday soon" Amy told Rachel as their plates were cleared away a while later, "do you want to go shopping to get her something while we're here?"
Rachel bit her lip, "I don't have any money."
"Oh Darling" Amy said softly, "I didn't expect you to pay, I'll give you some money to get her something."
Just as Amy expected, Rachel was quick to protest, "I can't take your money Aunt Amy, I…"
Amy had already thought about how she'd respond to Rachel's reluctance to take the money, "Okay, well how about you earn the money?"
"What do you mean?" Rachel asked nervously.
"One day next week you can come over after school, you can collect Lily and Max from school and watch them for an hour or two so I can run errands and do some chores, and in return I'll give you some money to buy your Mom a gift. How does that sound?"
Rachel thought it over for a minute, "Okay" she nodded, "thank you."
"You don't need to thank me" Amy smiled as she reached for the menu again, "now, what are we having for dessert?"