"What time are you going out?" Rachel asked as Shelby sat beside her on the couch. When Amy had come over on Shelby's birthday, they'd spoken about how long it had been since they'd had a night out together, and, after Rachel had reassured Shelby she'd be fine, the two sisters planned to go out that Friday night.
"Oh, we've had to take a raincheck, Uncle Jim was going to try and get off work early but he can't get away til the morning, Jim's parents are on vacation and Nana and Grandpa already have plans for tonight so we've had to put it on hold."
"Oh" Rachel frowned, "that's a shame".
"It is, but it's okay, we can go out another time" Shelby smiled, she'd been looking forward to a night out with her sister but she understood that Amy, of course, had to put her children first.
Rachel sat with Shelby for a while before excusing herself to use the bathroom and Shelby got up to see what she could find for dinner, having planned to just leave Rachel money to order takeout. She was briefly considering ordering takeout anyway when her phone beeped to signal a text. 'Get your gladrags on, I've found a babysitter. We're going out!'
"Mom" Shelby turned to face her daughter, phone still in her hand when she heard Rachel, recognising the worry in her daughter's voice almost instantly.
"Rachel" she frowned, "is everything okay?"
"I called Aunt Amy" she admitted, "and offered to watch Lily and Max for her so you could still go out." Her Aunt had asked several times if Rachel was sure, before thanking her and telling her that she was sure the kids would love to spend the evening with her.
Shelby smiled, "she just text me to say she had a babysitter, she didn't say it was you."
"I know you were both looking forward to it" Rachel said as Shelby wrapped her in a hug, "and I was just going to be sat here anyway if you went out. Aunt Amy said if you pack a bag we can stay at her house tonight in case I want to go to sleep before you two get back."
"Are you sure you're going to be okay with the kids?" Shelby asked, tucking a strand of Rachel's hair behind her ear.
Rachel nodded as she leaned into Shelby's touch, "we'll be fine, I've helped Aunt Amy put Lily and Max to bed before. And if I can call you or Aunt Amy if I have a problem, but I'm sure we'll be just fine."
Shelby smiled and kissed Rachel's head, "I'm so proud of you baby, I'm so proud of the beautiful, amazing, strong, young woman that you're becoming."
Rachel smiled and took Shelby's hand in her own, "I couldn't have done it without you Mom."
Shelby kissed Rachel's head again, "I'd better go and get ready then hadn't I" she chuckled, "do you want to go and get your things together so we can pack an overnight bag? You can just 'borrow' some of Amy's pyjamas" she teased, "so you don't need to pack any."
Rachel got her things together, leaving a change of clothes and her toiletries in a neat pile on the edge of their bed beside Edward Bear, Rachel deciding she could go without her blanket for one night.
Once she was sure she had everything she needed, except pyjamas of course, Rachel headed downstairs, slipping her laptop and some homework into her schoolbag to do once her cousins were in bed.
"You look amazing Mom" Rachel gasped when Shelby came downstairs a while later, the purple dress she'd chosen clinging to her curves, her hair curled loosely over one shoulder and her makeup darker and smoker than Rachel had ever seen it before.
"Thank you" Shelby smiled putting down the black stilettos she'd carried downstairs and running her hands over her hips, "you don't think it's a bit…" she'd spent a while scrutinising her body in the full length mirror, she knew she looked relatively good for her age but she was critical of the changes she'd noticed in her body, curves that were a little softer, muscles that weren't quite as toned as they once were, and she'd briefly wondered if she should wear something a little less 'clingy'
Rachel shook her head, "I think it's perfect, you look great, honestly."
"Thank you" Shelby smiled as she picked up her purse and the overnight bag they'd packed so they could spend the night at Amy's once she and Shelby returned from their night out. "Have you got everything you need?" Rachel nodded, "we'd better get going then."
Amy greeted them both with the hugs Rachel was now so used to once they arrived, Lily and Max racing over seconds later, "Mommy says you're looking after us tonight" Max grinned, "are you?"
"Yeah" Rachel chuckled at his excitement, both Lily and Max cheering loudly as she told them, "I am."
"Rachel forgot to bring pyjamas" Shelby told her sister, a smirk on her face.
"Of course she did" Amy rolled her eyes before turning to Rachel and winking playfully at her to show she wasn't mad, "second drawer of my dresser, help yourself."
Amy knew she would gladly give Rachel every item of clothing she owned when she saw the smile on her face, "thank you."
"Any time Pretty Girl" Amy smiled, "there's money on the kitchen side and a takeout menu so you can order pizza for dinner, or burgers or nuggets or whatever you and the kids want." Amy told her, "get ice cream too if you want, and don't worry if they won't go to bed, I don't care if they've both crashed on the floor when we get back, I won't mind if they're still awake, so don't worry if they won't settle, stick them in my bed and put a DVD on, whatever, and if you're really struggling, or if you need anything, anything at all then you call me okay Pretty Girl, don't worry about spoiling our night or anything. I trust you completely, and I know you've watched them before, but watching them for an hour while I go to the store is completely different to settling them both down for the night and I won't be angry if you call me okay. "
Rachel nodded, "I will, but I think we'll be fine, so you just enjoy your night out" Rachel kissed Amy's cheek, "I'll see you later."
"I think that's our cue to leave" Amy laughed as she slipped on a pair of black heels, smiling as she realised that Rachel had kissed her.
"I think so too" Shelby hugged Rachel and kissed her hair, "have a good night Baby, and call us if you need anything."
Once again, Rachel reassured her Mom she'd be fine as Amy said goodbye to Lily and Max, telling them to be good for Rachel, before leaving the house, hand in hand with Shelby.
Rachel was surprised at how well behaved her cousins were once Shelby and Amy left, they both chose what they wanted from the takeout menu and, once Rachel ordered the food, they asked her to play with them as they waited for it to arrive.
Several board games, stories, a takeout and a Disney movie later and Lily was almost asleep on the couch and Max was beginning to flag. "Are you ready for bed?" she asked Lily, getting a sleepy nod from the girl, "are you going to watch TV while I put Lily to bed?" Rachel asked.
Max yawned, "I'll come too" he told Rachel, "I can get my pyjamas on and then when Lily's sleeping will you read me a story in my bed?"
"Sure" Rachel smiled, lifting Lily to sit on her hip and holding her hand out to Max.
"Are you going home soon?" Max asked as they walked upstairs.
"Me and Auntie Shelby are going to sleep here tonight."
"So you'll have breakfast with us?"
"Yeah" Rachel smiled, "I will."
She sent Max into his own room so she could get Lily ready for bed. Amy had left pyjamas on the girl's bed so Rachel helped her change before taking her into the bathroom to clean her teeth and wash her face.
"Story time?" Lily asked sleepily as she toddled back into her bedroom.
"Sure" Rachel gestured to the bookcase, do you want to choose something?"
Lily chose a book and handed it to Rachel before climbing into bed, rummaging under the covers for a moment before settling down with a tatty stuffed bear clutched to her chest. Rachel waited for her to settle before she began to read, Lily falling asleep just four pages into the story. "Goodnight" she whispered, kissing her hair and tucking the covers around her and flicking on her owl shaped nightlight before leaving the room.
She found Max sprawled on his bedroom floor, changed into his batman pyjamas as he coloured in a picture of a robot. "Do you want to finish your picture before you go to bed?" Rachel asked, grateful that he'd found something quiet to keep himself occupied whilst she settled Lily.
He nodded, "yes please" he said before holding out a blue crayon, "you can help me if you want."
They coloured together until Max was satisfied with the picture, putting it by his bed to show Amy and Jimmy in the morning, "have you cleaned your teeth?"
Max shook his head, "I'll go now" he scrambled to his feet, "and I'll wash my face and do a wee too".
"Okay" Rachel chuckled as she put Max's crayons back in the box, "shout me if you need help."
She put the crayons away and picked up the clothes that Max had left on the floor when he'd changed, dropping them into the laundry basket as she heard the flush of the toilet. "All done" Max bounded back into the room, "I picked a story" he pointed to the book he'd left on his bed.
"You'd better get comfy then hadn't you" Rachel pulled back the covers for Max to climb in.
Unlike Lily, Max was still awake after his story, but he shook his head when Rachel asked if he wanted another one, "I'm going to sleep now" he told her.
"Okay" Rachel straightened the covers around him and kissed his head, "goodnight, sweet dreams." Rachel was almost at the door when she heard Max call her name, "yeah?" she said softly, turning back towards the bed.
"I had lots of fun tonight, thank you."
Rachel smiled, "I had fun too" she told him, "thank you for being so good."
"Night Rachel" Max yawned.
"Goodnight" Rachel smiled as she stepped out into the landing, making sure the bathroom light had been left on and that both children had their doors left slightly ajar before going into her Aunt's bedroom, changing into some of Amys pyjamas and heading downstairs to watch a movie and work on her homework.
"Jim?" Shelby asked when she saw Amy smile at her phone after getting a text.
Amy shook her head, turning her phone to show Shelby the text she'd received from Rachel, 'Lily and Max are both asleep in their own beds. You can stop worrying now xx' "It's not even 8 on a Friday night. She's doing better than me" Amy laughed as she typed out a reply, thanking Rachel and telling her she was doing an awesome job.
It was a little after midnight when Rachel heard Amy's car pull up outside, quiet laughter and then Amy telling Shelby to be quiet as the door opened.
"Rachel's still up" Amy smiled when she walked into the living room, Shelby staggering slightly beside her, "have you had a good night?"
Rachel nodded, "yeah, have you?"
"It was interesting" Amy laughed, watching as Shelby made her way over to the couch.
"Hey baby" Shelby slurred as she flopped down beside Rachel, wrapping her arms around her daughter and hugging her close as she sloppily kissed her forehead, "I love you, I've missed you so much."
"I've missed you too Mom" Rachel couldn't help but frown at the smell of alcohol on Shelby's breath.
"Sorry" Amy supported herself against the back of the couch as she slipped off her shoes before sitting down, "we went into the VIP area and somehow ended up with a free bottle of champagne and well…" she gestured to her stomach, indicating that she hadn't had any alcohol, "I told her she didn't have to drink it all" she raised an eyebrow.
Shelby smiled sleepily, her eyes closed as she curled into Rachel, resting her head on Rachel's shoulder, "it was good. And free. I wasn't wasting it"
"No" Amy rolled her eyes, "you didn't waste a drop. You didn't waste any of the shots or the cocktails either."
"Not my fault you couldn't drink" Shelby didn't open her eyes, "I told you. I told you about condoms and birth control. I could have bought you condoms. You've already had two kids. You should know how all of that works by now."
"I do know how it works. That's how I managed to get pregnant for a third time Shel. And if I want condoms, I'm old enough to buy them for myself."
"Mmm" Shelby nuzzled into Rachel, wrapping her arm around her daughter's waist and pulling her closer, "You're not bad you know, as annoying little sisters go."
"Thanks" Amy laughed, "you're not bad as drunken big sisters go either. But I think it's time we got you into bed before you smother Rachel."
Shelby shook her head, still holding Rachel close, "I'm cuddling my baby" she pouted.
"And you can cuddle her upstairs" Amy stood and gently pulled Shelby to her feet, "come on, let's get you up to bed before I change my mind and make you share with me so you don't snuggle Rachel to death in her sleep."
Amy made sure Shelby made it up the stairs in one piece before pushing her gently in the direction of the bathroom, "go on, pee, clean your teeth and take your make up off. I don't want you tearing me a new one in the morning because I let you sleep with it on."
"Yes Mom" Shelby teased before stumbling down the hall to the bathroom, allowing Amy to turn her attention to Rachel.
"Are you okay?" She asked, "I meant what I said downstairs, I can have your Mom in with me if you'd be more comfortable with that."
Rachel shook her head, "I'll be okay".
"Are you sure?" Amy asked, reaching out to gently stroke Rachel's cheek, she'd seen the concern on her face downstairs, could tell she wasn't exactly comfortable with how cuddly Shelby was being.
Rachel nodded, "my Dads, they got drunk a lot but it wasn't… they weren't like my Mom is" she tried to explain, hoped Amy knew what she meant.
Amy did understand and squeezed Rachel's shoulder, "Your mom's a bit of a pain when she's drunk, but she's pretty harmless, she'll fall asleep soon and you won't hear anything from her til lunch time."
"Okay" Rachel wasn't completely convinced but she trusted her Aunt, trusted her Mom, and deep down, she knew her Mom wasn't like her Dad or her Daddy.
Amy held out her arms, holding Rachel close when she accepted the hug, "your Mom would never hurt you Rachel, she loves you too much, and besides, she knows I'd kick her butt if she even thought about it." she smiled when she heard Rachel chuckle. "Jim's not going to be here til tomorrow, so if anything happens and you're not comfortable with sharing with your Mom, come and get in with me okay, I won't mind."
"Thank you."
"There's nothing to thank me for" Amy gently pushed Rachel down the hall when the bathroom door opened, "you go and get ready for bed while I make sure your Mom doesn't break her neck getting changed.
"Okay" Rachel gave Amy one last hug before slipping past Shelby and into the bathroom.
"Come on you" Amy led Shelby into the guest bedroom, "let's get you changed before Rachel comes back and ends up in therapy from finding her Mom half naked.
"Hey" Shelby pouted as Amy unzipped her dress and guided her arms out, leaving Shelby just in matching black lace underwear, "my body isn't that bad" she frowned slightly before fumbling with the clasp of her bra.
"Off?" Amy asked, taking the offending item off when Shelby nodded.
"Do you think I should get a boob job?" Shelby asked, as she looked down at herself, frowning as she palming at her chest, "I'm sure they used to be…" she shrugged, not sure what she wanted to say, "better?"
"I think your boobs are fine Shelby" Amy rolled her eyes as she helped her sister pull on her pyjama top. "Hey" she frowned when Shelby burst into tears, "what's wrong?"
"They hurt" Shelby whispered through her tears, "so much."
"Shelby" Amy was concerned but didn't want to jump to conclusions, "your breasts hurt?"
"When Rachel was born" Shelby clarified, Amy sighing in relief as she wiped at Shelby's tears, "they were so full and so painful and I, I couldn't do anything" Shelby hiccups, "because my baby was gone. And now she's gone again Amy, she's gone and I, I miss her. I've always missed her" she sobbed.
"She's in the bathroom" Amy told her as she pulled out pyjama pants, holding out a pair of white cotton briefs too, Shelby not caring as she changed her underwear in front of her sister, Amy's hands on her hips to support her, "Rachel is in the bathroom Shel, give it a few minutes and she'll be in here, she's not gone anywhere."
Shelby let Amy finish dressing her without too much fuss, "I love her Amy. I love her so much."
"I know you do. And she loves you too." Amy frowned as Shelby began to sob, "what's wrong?" she asked, taking her sister's hand.
"I gave her away" Shelby sobbed, "I gave her to two bastards who treated her like shit, they were meant to love her Amy, they were meant to love her and they didn't. They hurt her and if I, if I hadn't given her up she wouldn't have been hurt."
"No" Amy swiped Shelby's tears away, "I don't care how drunk you are, you stop this right now. Those men wanted a baby. They wanted Rachel. You had no idea what they were like. You carried a baby for two men who wanted a child, for two men you thought would love her unconditionally. The fact that they didn't is not your fault, and now Rachel has you, she has all of us and she knows what it's like to have a family who will always love and support her and that's all that matters."
"I love her Amy. And I, I miss her when she isn't here."
"I know" Amy wiped Shelby's tears away and laid her in bed, "and I know she loves you too, now you calm down, Rachel will be in soon I promise."
"Amy" Shelby whispered as she went to leave the room.
"Yeah?"
"I'm going to be really, really, hungover tomorrow aren't I?"
Amy chuckled quietly, "I think you probably are, but I'll keep the kids quiet and I'll make sure you have plenty of water and painkillers. You'll live."
"I love you Amy"
"I love you too Shel, but now, I'm going to send Rachel in for you to snuggle to death and then I'm going to sleep, I'm done in" she blew her sister a kiss, "sleep well Shelly"
Shelby smiled, her eyes already beginning to close, "g'night."