Lost Wolf

Chapter 14

Alex and Sean were curled up on a pile of pillows on the floor, looking for all the world like a pair of sleeping cats. Matthias Winther was both amused and dismayed. Such displays were common among Packmates, but Sean was not of Alex's Pack. He supposed he should be grateful that Alex felt so comfortable around a fellow Werewolf at all, having been raised apart from his own kind. Sean McLaren was the first Werewolf Alex had spent any amount of time with since his family's murders, of course he would latch onto him. It still hurt a bit, he had nothing against the McLaren Pack, in fact he owed them more than he could ever repay, and Sean was a genuinely friendly, outgoing young man. But he'd seen Alex being physically affectionate with both the Vampires and the McLaren boy, but not his own Pack.

He seemed to like Jan, and his aunt would, hopefully, be well-received, but he had barely even touched Matthias. Perhaps it was age, Sean and Jan were both young men and the Vampires all looked young, with Michael being an actual seventeen year-old boy instead of a decades-old Vampire. He was ignorant of Pack culture, and the fact that the Vampires slept upside down like bats during the day and were awake when he was asleep would have deprived him of much needed physical contact during the night. They were clearly at ease with each other physically, as tactile as Werewolves at times, but Alex would have had to sacrifice sleep for companionship with his adoptive 'Pack'. He wondered how much sleep the boy usually got during his time here. His sleeping habits were still poor, but he seemed to be slowly improving. He didn't look so pale anymore, either.

The other option was painful, but very possible; that he had chosen, consciously or not, to avoid such close, intimate behavior with his birth Pack due to their failure to rescue him, his abandonment being seared deep into his psyche, driving him away from his kin. He did not see them as Pack. When Jan told him of Mary questioning how he could live with himself knowing what his 'friends' were doing, he'd been furious. The boy had suffered so much already, and if members of his own Pack began asking such questions openly he would almost certainly be driven away. Needless to say, Mary had been sent back to her own home immediately. It was shortly after that when Alex explained how he could 'live with himself', and Matthias wondered if he'd somehow heard them speaking, or if it was a simple coincidence.

There was one other possibility, but he hadn't scented any unusually strong scents of attraction, beyond what one would expect from two young, male Werewolves in their prime. Both boys were attractive, unmated and buzzing with hormones. He hoped it wasn't some sort of crush, not out of disapproval but out of society's often violent rejection of such relationships. It was an incredibly dangerous path to walk in human society, especially with the AIDS hysteria fueling paranoia and brutal hatred. He'd seen and heard of atrocities committed by humans in throes of such bigotry. Vampires were infamous for ignoring such things as they would any other societal norms. Werewolves were varied on the subject, living so closely among humans and inevitably picking up some of their ideals and prejudices. Reaction among the Pack would be mixed, at best, but not violent.

Both boys were in their underwear, (more skin contact), and when he'd first seen Alex's body he'd been shocked by how thin he was. His father's side of the family tended to be lithe, with small, but strong, muscles. For his height, Alex should have weighed at least 40 pounds more, but what he had was all muscle.

What Alpha McLaren had said about him being able to hide behind a lamp post made sense.

He shook his head. The fallen Alpha had never encountered a cub so damaged by life. And he prayed that his successors never would.

XXXX

"I think Alex should move into the house, permanently."

All of the Vampires looked to David in surprise, though Dwayne caught on pretty quickly.

"Here, with us, he hasn't had much of a life, has he? He needs things we can't give him, and during the day he is alone. That's not good for anyone, especially a Werewolf. He needs his own people."

Marko wanted to growl and rage and argue against them, but he couldn't, because he knew Dwayne and David were right. The Lost Boys had kept Alex alive and physically safe for eight years, but the loneliness he'd endured as their daytime guardian was too much to be healthy for anyone, much less a teenage boy, now young man, who was growing up essentially alone.

Sure, they hung out a lot, but Alex's sleep suffered for it.

"It's too soon." He reasoned, catching everyone's attention, "He barely knows these people, and, except for Freckles, he hasn't really spent much time with any of them. And Freckles isn't part of the Pack that left him on the street..."

"He'll still have us, Marko. He just won't be living here, in the hotel. It can't be healthy for him living in a place like this." David shook his head. Marko had a point, Alex was still too attached to the boys. Sure, he'd been living at the house, but Marko and Paul had been there with him. "We're not abandoning him like that useless Alpha, he can come and go as he likes. He'll be better off there, without all of this dust and damp and death."

"Not to mention the smell." Paul added, "What? It's true, we smell like blood and death, this hole stinks like an open grave. You saw the other Werewolves, they could barely stand it. When Alex first came here, he slept outside for weeks because of the stink. He's lived here for eight years, he's a living, breathing Werewolf that smells like a Vampire. The other Werewolves smell totally different."

"I'm surprised you can smell anything after all that blow you've snorted," Marko smiled sadly, his attempt at humor falling flat even to his own ears, "But you're right. This is a miserable place for a Werewolf to live, and now that he's met other Werewolves he probably realized that. But I don't think the idiot would ever admit it. I'm glad we took him in, but I wish he could have been somewhere better, for a Werewolf, I mean. This place is perfect for us, but not for him."

"Then we all agree on this? That's it's time to let Alex go?"

Everyone agreed. Alex would still be Pack, of course, and still welcome to visit the hotel, but he didn't need to live their anymore. Thorne could protect them now. Alex deserved his own life

Marko walked over to his pigeons, without any smile, real or fake, on his Cherubic face. He thought about all the times he'd seen their eggs hatch, and the hatchlings go from tiny, helpless things to confident, strutting adults. That was the way nature worked, outside of their own strange existence. They would stay the same people, changing clothes and styles and whatever else they needed to fit in because the world around them was ever changing. Alex wasn't a Vampire, an unchanging immortal, he was mortal, a natural creature. Nothing they could do would change that. Eventually he would be gone, they'd all known that from the beginning, Alex included.

It still hurt like Hell.

Marko barely felt the tears streaming down his beautiful face.

XXXX

"Sean, I'd like to speak with you for a moment."

Sean McLaren knew exactly what the disgraced Alpha wanted to talk about.

"Alex is very close to you."

"Yes, probably because I was the first Wolf he's spent any time with in over a decade." It wasn't meant as an insult, but it probably sounded like one, "I mean, I was assigned by my Pack to take care of him for you. Now we're almost inseparable. My Alpha doesn't seem too concerned, but I've noticed that it bothers you."

"It's nothing against you, you're a good person and you're good for Alex, I'm just wondering how this will turn out. You have your own Pack, and they may need you, but I think Alex needs you as well."

"Several members of my Pack are moving into Santa Carla, and I'm one of them. We have a large Pack, and can spare a few people to help out here. Alex wants me to live here with him." He looked at the Alpha, "I can't say I understand what you and your Pack are going through, so I don't really know how you want to deal with the situation. Of course, in the end it's Alex's decision who he wants around him."

"I owe you a great deal, the Winther Pack owe you a debt. You've helped Alex more than I ever could, considering the situation. He's already scenting with you, he's incredibly comfortable with you after everything that's happened. He might not smell like a Winther, but at least he's starting to smell like a Wolf."

"Yes, I hope I can help more."

"Forgive me for asking, but, what exactly do you think Alex's feelings towards you are?"

Sean's pale, freckled face blushed a fierce red, "I don't think he thinks like that, I don't mean about guys, I mean about anyone. It's just not a part of his life."

Just how screwed up was Alex?

XXXX

Dwayne carefully dismantled the phonograph so that it could once again fit into it's case, a wheeled leather box resembling a very big suitcase . They'd been made to travel, some of them, anyway, but they were extremely heavy for humans. He thought of the boomboxes and walkmans kids carried around these days, and even Paul's rock box. The world was moving so fast, Max had sworn that the future would be dominated by computers, with everyone having a miniature computer in their pocket. Dwayne tended to agree with him on that, at least. Humans were extremely intelligent when it came to technology, and in finding ways to use it to kill one another. He shuddered as he remembered the first time he'd seen a Gatling gun, as it cut down so many of his people, his family- He shook his head to clear away the image. Alex was the opposite of most people, he loved the things of the past, phonographs, pocket watches, clockwork toys, antique cameras with tintype images, things outdated and forgotten by most. He had salvaged so much from the old hotel, the boy had real skill in mechanics. Dwayne knew that Alex could still get a diploma if he wished, there were schools for adults like him who had never had the chance to finish school, or had dropped-out and now regretted it.

Dwayne and the others also noticed that he could smell Sean's scent strongly on Alex, they were becoming close friends, possibly more. Alex had never expressed any real interest in romance, he'd never really had a chance. Out among his own people, and humans, with so many opportunities, he would have many chances.

He could have a life.

The idea of Alex leaving was bitter-sweet, he was a loyal friend who'd sacrificed so much of his life to protect them. He deserved a better life than living in an old, half-sunken hotel, completely alone all day protecting a bunch of sleeping Vampires. He'd said that it was all worth it just for the moment that he got to knock that stake out of Edgar Frog's hand and prevent their Little Imp from being murdered in his sleep.

Marko was taking it hard, even harder than Paul. They'd been the closest to Alex, and when he'd saved Marko's life their bond had only grown stronger. He'd seen Marko crying, trying to hide it from the others.

He easily lifted the case containing the phonograph from the floor and began to carry it up to the lobby. Gathering the boy's belongings hadn't taken long, mostly antique trinkets, a box of comic books, some actual books, and wolf-related knick-knacks. All of his clothes fit in a single backpack. He'd already taken his VHS tapes to the house while he was laying low. His motorcycle was either in the garage or on it's way to the hotel. That was everything he owned in the world.

Dwayne rarely felt anything even remotely resembling guilt, he'd go insane if he allowed remorse to fester inside of him, but he felt bad as he watched Alex's few possessions being set out in the lobby. Alex didn't know, they really didn't have much way of contacting him and was coming in a few hours anyway. It was going to be agonizing for all of them, but it had to be done. Too much of his life had been spent in a cold, stinking cave with sadistic vampires, alone by day and often missing them by night.

The Lonely Wolf.

The Lost Wolf, living among The Lost Boys.

But nothing lasts forever, not even Never-Neverland.

XXXX

Alex knew immediately what was happening. He could smell the pain of his brothers, see their sad, downcast faces. The tear tracks on Marko's cheeks. His belongings all bundled neatly in the center of the room.

He fell to his knees and let lose a howl of grief that every Werewolf in Santa Carla could hear. Many humans heard as well, stopping in their tracks, wondering what kind of pain their Lonely Wolf was in to make such a sound. More howls followed, a symphony of grief and despair.

Once the howls and echoes died away a simple question.

"Why?" His voice was distant, but filled with pain.

"You don't belong here." David cringed, that sounded wrong, "I mean, you have your people now. This place, this is our home, yes, but it's a stinking Hellhole. It's perfect for us, but you... You need the sun, the fresh air, people you can be around all the time. People who won't come home covered in blood and gore. We aren't abandoning you, you're still our brother, but you need to move on. The house is yours, for you and whoever you choose to share it with. You can still come here, and we'll come see you, but... You can't live like this anymore."

He looked at their faces, Marko and Paul were crying openly, Dwayne, sad but stoic, David, looking shaken. Even Michael, who was staring at the floor, unwilling to meet anyone's gaze.

XXXX

It hit Alex then, the reason for all of this.

This was his punishment for betraying their trust. For letting the world know that Edgar Frog had almost killed Marko. For making Marko look weak in front of their enemies.

To be cast out of the Pack.

He deserved it.

He'd betrayed his friend, his brother. Endangered Marko, endangered his Pack. The people who had taken him in, who had saved him when he was nothing, ignored and forgotten. The ones who had risked Max's wrath to protect him. Him. A helpless, broken burden.

Yes, he'd saved Marko, but if he'd been doing his damn job the kids wouldn't have gotten anywhere near Marko in the first place. He remembered how honestly scared Marko was after his near death, how it still troubled him. Even now Marko was crying. Openly crying, the proud, vain little Vampire had rarely been so emotional, except on those awful times when his father's Demon caught up to him, tortured his mind.

There was nothing he could say or do to make the situation better, to undue his mistake.

There was only one thing he could say, so pathetic, so useless a term,

"I'm sorry," He barely recognized his own voice, "You don't... I don't blame you. I... hurt Marko, I hurt all of you. You gave me everything, and I let you down. I made you look weak..." A shaky hand reached for his earring, his one physical link to his Pack. To his former Pack. Would the others want him now? Or was he too broken for them, too? He fumbled with the thing, trying to unpin it.

In any other situation, his clumsily fumbling with his earring would be cute. Under the circumstances, however, it was just painful to watch.

XXXX

Marko felt sick.

What the Hell was Alex talking about? He hadn't hurt Marko.

Unless he meant...

Crap.

Alex thought this was punishment for what he said to the Frog brothers in Han's?

"What the Hell are you talking about?" He finally managed to get his voice to work, "You think we'd just throw you away over a mistake? Do you think that little of us? Do think that little of yourself?" He paused, staring into those shocked and shimmering brown eyes, "Oh, man... You really think that!" He looked at Alex's belongings, "This is why you need to leave. Not because you did anything wrong, but because you have no life here! We couldn't be the family you needed, that you deserved! You've spent eight years pretty much alone! You don't know how to live without us! We're not kicking you out of the Pack, out of the family! You're still our brother, you idiot! We just want you to be able to enjoy life instead of being trapped in this tomb with us for the rest of your life!" He was actually angry now. This whole plan had gone to Hell and it was just too much to take. "You don't even know what happiness is, do you? Because of us... Living people aren't meant to grow up in places like this!" He walked over to his younger brother and grabbed him in a fierce hug, "We'd never just throw you away, dumb-ass. Get over yourself."

The others, the entire Pack joined in the hug, wrapping him in warmth.

XXXX

Matthias felt like someone had ripped out his heart. He knew the boys wanted what was best for Alex, and he agreed with them. This stinking tomb was no place for the living.

Alex saw the situation differently. He didn't understand what they were doing, and why.

He believed that they were rejecting him. That he was useless and deserved to be abandoned.

Just as he had been before.

Matthias felt something break inside of him.

He'd abandoned this child, left him with the impression that he was unloved, that he had no place, anywhere. That he deserved to be alone and forgotten. And why not? His own Pack, no, Matthias himself, had forgotten him, left him to die in the streets. And now his new Pack, his new family, wanted him to move out.

And he believed he was being rejected once again.

Then Marko spoke. Loud, angry but caring. Telling him what he needed to hear, trying to make him understand what was happening, and how it didn't change anything between them. For all of his playfulness and cruelty, Marko was intelligent, and knew about mortal emotions. He usually used this knowledge to lure in prey, or torment them psychologically, but he tried to help the others when they needed it.

Marko approached, a weeping Angel of Death, and embraced his brother. All of them came together, a tight knot of grief and comfort. He wanted to go over to them, to hug the pup, but he didn't think he'd be welcome. This was between Alex and his Pack, not the Winther Pack but the Lost Boys.

Sean was seated on the edge of the fountain, looking a bit lost at everything that had just happened. Jan stood attentively, his feigned slouch and careless attitude replaced by intense vigilance. Who knew what could happen now?

There was little from Alex after that. He'd zoned out, barely noticing what was going on around him, just sitting down on the fountain's edge, running his hand through the decades of trinkets without really noticing them. The atmosphere in the hotel was oppressive, guilt, grief, anger... Alex smelled of exhaustion, though it was no doubt mental rather than physical.

Perhaps, perhaps after a good night's rest, he might be ready to face the situation.

After a while, everyone silently packed Alex's things into Matthias' car, and it was decided that the Wolves would leave for the time being.

Everyone needed time to come to terms with what was happening.

XXXX

Matthias drove silently through the darkness toward the Ward house, occasionally looking over at the quiet boy sitting in the passenger seat. Alex looked half-asleep, his eyelids heavy, not really looking at anything beyond the darkness. He was exhausted, physically, mentally and emotionally.

The older Werewolf was grateful he'd brought along Sean, he was the only other Wolf who had ridden Alex's prized Indian Chief and was familiar with how she handled. Alex was in no state to drive. Jan, who'd driven Matthias' car to the area near the hotel, was riding Sean's motorbike. The boys had wanted to come as well, but Dwayne said that Alex needed some space and the others reluctantly agreed.

Things were happening too fast for all of them, especially Alex. So many mixed emotions warring within him, further complicated by horrible misunderstandings and his own poor sense of self-worth.

The car idled by the curb until the bikes were in the garage and the garage safely shut, then pulled up into the driveway. Sean, because Alex trusted him the most, picked Alex up and carried his sleeping form into the house, to the little den of pillows they'd made, stripping him to his white briefs before undressing himself, putting their clothes on the recliner and curling up beside him comfortingly. He was surprised when Jan stripped down and wrapped his dark body around the boys as well.

Matthias wanted to join them, sleeping as a Pack, but he wasn't as sure as Jan in his welcome. So he took off his shoes, taking them and the other's to the mat beside the door, then curled up on the old couch nearby and let his weariness claim him.

XXXX

To be continued...

Notes-

Blow - Cocaine

I just realized that I had no memory of what Alan Frog looked like. So I looked up a few pictures. He was played by Jamison Newlander. As I've said before, I was very young when I saw The Lost Boys, and never watched it again.

Support stake control, you'll be saving trees and Vampires! It's a win-win!

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#Marko Deserved Better