CW: Passig mention of suicide, nothing graphic.

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Three days later, Ellie dropped Dani and Jamie off at the airport. She spent the entire drive telling them about her break up with the guy who had managed to last a month. The other two sat silent, barely listening, but they were thankful for the slight distraction from the impending upheaval of their lives.

They packed light, Dani in her classic red backpack and Jamie in a black duffel bag. Each packed a single pair of jeans besides the one they currently wore, a sweater and a few t-shirts, and both had black dresses intended for Henry's funeral.

Ellie had offered to cover the plant shop since she had a few employees to cover her own store. This was the first thing that managed to send Jamie over the edge. Plants meant everything to Jamie and her plants in her shop were one of the few things she could control. Handing that over to a self-proclaimed plant killer kept her up at night more so than the arrival of two young children into her life. The night before their flight, Jamie couldn't sleep so she stayed up for hours writing out a guide for every plant in the shop. Before they climbed into Ellie's car, she made her promise multiple times to follow the guide closely.

The long plane ride left both with a lot of time to think. Dani's thoughts were invaded by the curse that had settled inside of her. She turned the anxiety onto a topic that seemed much easier to overanalyze: her mother. After her encounter with Mrs. O'Mara, she fully expected her mom to barge into the shop in her typical dramatic fashion to make a scene. The first few days were agonizing. Then, when two weeks passed with no arrival, she wondered if a phone call would come in. Jamie took all the shop calls from then on without being asked to, but still, no call came in. Dani didn't know if her mother was never going to talk to her again or if Mrs. O'Mara hadn't actually told her what Dani had said.

After thinking about it over and over in her head, Dani realized that the dramatic fashion of her mom is exactly why she couldn't know about Dani being back or about Jamie. Mrs. Clayton would never miss a chance to throw a fit. And so, bored during an extra long layover in Miami, Dani decided to find a payphone and call her mom.

"You sure?" Jamie asked, incredulous. She had just returned to their spot in the terminal with a coffee in hand for both and a snickers bar for herself.

Dani took the cup and nodded with a forced smile. "It's time. If she doesn't know, then she deserves to be given the opportunity before she shows up wondering when I had time to have two kids."

The payphone booths were a few gates down. No one else was there, which Dani liked. Still, she sat in the corner one hoping anyone that might show up would sit on the other side. Her hand floated in front of the coin slot, waiting. She didn't know what she was waiting for. The right moment? Someone to insert it for her? Some kind of message that it was right? Finally, she realized none of those things would happen and so she counted to three and then dropped in the coin.

The phone rang for a bit. She wondered if her mom would pick up. It was still early, but she would probably be up getting ready for work. Then, a click came from the other side of the line.

"Hello?"

"Hi, mom," Dani said.

"Oh, Danielle, you've had me worried sick," her mother said. "It's been months."

Dani swallowed. "Have you talked to Mrs. O'Mara recently?"

"No, I saw her at Carson's wedding last week, but she was too busy rushing around to say hi. It's a bit rude, in my opinion, but I guess that's how mothers' are at their kid's weddings. Not that I would know. Why do you ask?" There was a chiseling sound on the other end and Dani could picture her mother sitting in the arm chair beside the phone, filing her nails as she talked.

Dani took a breath and let that one go. Clearly, Mrs. O'Mara was being polite, but keeping a distance. She wouldn't be surprised if after the wedding, the two would never talk again. "I saw her a while ago and I thought she would have told you."

The nail file stopped. "You saw her? Where?"

Here we go, Dani thought. "I'm back home."

Her mother went silent and the phone scraped a little bit as though it was jostled. "What do you mean you're back home?"

"Um, I met someone. In England, I met someone and we came back almost a year ago."

"You've been back for a year and you never thought to let your poor mother know? I've been worried sick about you ever since Edmund died. Here you are traipsing around the world with another man and you don't even bother to tell me you've moved on, but you have no problem getting coffee with Mrs. O'Mara."

Dani rolled her eyes and huffed. "Mom, stop. You're being ridiculous."

Mrs. Clayton scoffed, "Ridiculous?"

"I didn't get coffee with Mrs. O'Mara. I ran into her and it wasn't exactly a good interaction." Dani leaned her elbows on the table. She knew she was beating around the bush and she needed to get it out. "I opened a store on the west side. She happened to come in and let's just say she wasn't too happy when she left."

"A store? Oh, my God, Dani. What else aren't you telling me?"

So much, Dani thought, remembering how this very reaction was why she never bothered telling her mom much of anything growing up. "I own it with the girl I met in England."

That was the first thing that really shut her mom up. "A girl? Like a friend?"

"No, mom, not like a friend." Dani's voice dropped, quieter, even though no one was around her. "We live together."

"Like… in a one bedroom?"

Dani really tried hard to hold back a laugh, "Yeah, just like that."

"Hmm," her mom said. "I can't believe you never told me you… like those kinds of apartments."

Leave it to her mom to find the weirdest way to avoid calling her daughter gay. That was a laugh that Dani couldn't hold back anymore. "I thought Mrs. O'Mara told you."

"No, that woman thinks it's a sin to gossip. You know, I always thought your friendship with Susan Kellar was a little off."

"What are you talking about?" Dani asked.

"I'm just saying I think I knew all along," Mrs. Clayton said. The annoyance returned. Her mother's self-absorption was annoying, but it certainly was a better response than Mrs. O'Mara's. "Now, tell me where your shop is. I have to see it for myself."

Dani winced. "That's the thing, I'm not really there right now. I'm in Miami."

"Oh, Dani," her mother said. Disappointment dripped from her words. "You never cut me a break, do you? If it's not one thing, it's another. Anything else you would like to tell me? Do you have a tattoo?"

"Yeah, there's probably something else you should know. Jamie and I are going to Paris to pick up the kids I was watching in England a year ago. Their uncle died and left them to us," she closed her eyes tight. It really was a lot she was throwing at her mom at once.

"I'm too young to be a grandma," Mrs. Clayton groaned.

"Actually–".

"Don't get smart with me," her mother warned. She let out a long sigh. "I guess I'll just have to make do. Life never does stop throwing curve balls, now does it? You'll need to send me their clothing sizes when you get there."

A feeling in Dani's chest burst open and a smile couldn't stop spreading across her face. "Okay, I'll do that."

"When will you be back?"

"Next Monday."

Her mother sighed again, "That's only 12 days. Seriously, Dani, most daughters give their mothers nine months warning. I have so much shopping to do. I need to go make a list, so you better call when you land. You hear?"

Dani agreed, and hung up. She walked slowly back to Jamie, unable to contain the smile. She wondered if maybe she hadn't given her mom enough slack growing up. No, Dani decided. Her mom was still over the top, condescending, and selfish. She just cared about her daughter at the same time.

"I take it it went well by that grin on your face," Jamie said. She looked up over her book at her girlfriend.

"She's mad we didn't give her nine months warning for her new grandkids." Dani dropped into the seat beside Jamie.

Jamie laughed, "I'm a bit peeved about it myself, tell you the truth." She leaned over and gently knocked shoulders with Dani. "I'm glad for you, Poppins. You deserve that."

Dani didn't want to get her hopes up. Somehow, her mom frequently found ways to let her down. But, she did have some small hope that it would be the same things her mother had always done and not this. Something told her that her mother didn't much care if Dani was in love with Jamie or Edmund, all she cared about was someone she could fuss over for the sake of attention and dramatics.

It was late when Dani and Jamie arrived in the Paris airport. The signs were impossible to read, especially for Dani who had downed a drink or two on the plane, but they eventually found their way to Owen. He waved them down from across the room and then took care to hug each one, holding it for a while.

Owen was a mix of sollen and excited. Him and Jamie had a quiet moment offering each other words of comfort to which Dani quietly witnessed. Their relationship with Henry had been very different than hers and she had to respect that.

"How was your travel?" Owen asked as he guided the two out of the airport and into the waiting car.

"Not too shabby," Jamie said. "If Miami is anything like their airport, I feel good crossing that state off my list."

"Thank you for picking us up." Dani smiled over at Owen. She had missed him a lot more than she realized she had. He opened the trunk of his car and took the backpack from each woman before placing them in. Jamie took the seat up front and Dani took the back middle seat so she could lean through and talk to the others easier. Even though it was night, the Paris airport was still busy and the way out required a bit of idling in traffic. "Where are the kids?"

Owen glanced at Dani in his rearview mirror. "My sous chef is watching them back at my apartment. They get on swimmingly so I'm sure they're just having a splash."

Jamie groaned, but Dani continued before she could say anything back. "A sous chef? Aren't those the ones with a lot of knives?"

"We're chefs, Dani, we've all got a lot of knives," Owen responded.

Jamie reached back through the seats and rubbed Dani's knee a bit. "Besides, I've heard the sous chefs are the most trustworthy of the lot." Then, she looked at Owen. "Gotten a bit anxious, this one. Lost it somewhere over Scotland and I had to get a few shots in her to calm her nerves."

"I'm sorry it's just," Dani sighed, "I still feel like I'm just their au pair and I can't wrap my head around the fact that we're their parents now. It just feels like everything is so much more real. If they piss me off, I can't just quit, you know?"

Owen chuckled, "This news probably couldn't come at a better time, then. Henry apparently opened a bank account in my name a few days ago as well. He said it's to organize his memorial service and the transition of the kids to you."

"Damn," Jamie said and cleared her throat.

Again, all three went silent with the gut punch that comes from remembering that the person you cared about took their own life. It's a hard thing to wrap your head around and a different kind of grief than any other. The anger in Dani when she thought about it made her want to punch the seat in front of her. Still, as much as she wanted to think she could have helped, or Jamie could have helped, or Owen, she knew that there was so much more behind it. Henry was owed some level of forgiveness because she could never know the kind of pain that resided inside of him.

"Anyway," Owen started, his voice cracked slightly as though he was holding back tears. "I thought it would be nice to give you two a few last nights on your own. I booked you a nice hotel, just the two of you. You'll have the kids everyday for years. I can watch them a few more nights."

They both thanked him for the consideration. The rest of the car ride was filled with idle chatter of friends who hadn't seen each other in a while. Owen talked about his restaurant. Jamie and Dani talked about the shop. No one talked about Henry, or Hannah, or Peter, or Rebecca.

The hotel was nestled inside a historic corner of Paris. It was a big room, equipped with a small kitchenette, a sitting area, a bathroom with a claw foot tub, and a bed with rose petals elegantly dropped on top of the white comforter. A small balcony extended from the sitting area and offered a perfect view of the Eiffel Tower. Despite the summer night, it was a bit chilly. Dani pulled Jamie out into the night and draped her arms across Jamie's shoulders and around her neck. Their heads leaned against each other as they looked out at Paris in the night.

"Poppins?"

"Yeah?" Dani asked. She pulled Jamie a little closer.

"We're living in a rom-com now," Jamie said. The two burst out laughing at the same time. When she spoke again, her voice was softer. "It was really nice of Owen to think of this."

Dani nodded. "This is beautiful."

She let out a deep sigh, but for the first time in the last few days, it wasn't out of grief, it was out of contentment. There's something about the moments heavy with grief that offer a connection with oneself. It's in those moments that sometimes, if you're lucky enough, you can feel the presence of being content like no other time. It shouldn't be confused with joy. No, it's not quite joy. It's something more like an overwhelming feeling of being present and aware of your life exactly where you are. Dani's feet felt more planted on the earth than she could ever remember feeling. The brisque air felt a little sharper, but not because of temperature. The knowledge that she had Jamie and Jamie had her and in a few short days they would be moving two kids into their life permanently felt more real. The sense of living stared down against the absence of life.

"Did you ever want to have kids?" Dani asked Jamie. "I know you said it wasn't an option for us. But, that aside, did you ever imagine yourself as a mom?"

Jamie craned her neck to look at Dani and left a gentle kiss on her cheek. "I was 13 when I realized I was gay so I guess I never really thought there would be a life where I could have one. Back then it wasn't really an option. It just felt easier not to put too much thought into it one way or the other."

"How do you feel about it now?" Dani asked.

"It feels different somehow, like it's not the same. Having kids is different than raising Miles and Flora. I was there for potty training and broken bones. They were already family and now they need a good home." Jamie paused and then let out a quiet laugh. "Once, I was tending the ivy 'round the back of Bly. Flora, couldn't have been more than six, walked up to me confidently with one of her little dolls and a small suitcase in hand. I asked her where she planned on going. She looked up at me with that face she makes, the one where she is absolutely sure of something like it's a fact. And she said, 'home with you. To the pub.' Found out later, she and Miles got into a fight and she wanted to run away. I sounded like the closest thing to home she could think of."

Dani smiled wide at the story. "You know, they talked about you a lot. They love you."

Jamie reached over and gently poked Dani in the chest. "You were different for them. In the few short months you were their au pair, they learned more about themselves than even with their own parents. You challenged them to be better."

"It was unusual circumstances," Dani shook her head in disagreement. "Any child gains wisdom in a situation like that."

"Not any child. Children with a strong person to look up to, those are the ones that do," Jamie insisted.

Suddenly, fear filled Dani and she closed her eyes tight. She didn't like thinking about the experiences at Bly. She wished she could erase all the bad and only remember the happy moments. But the Lady in the Lake, the one sharing rent inside of her now, could never let that happen. And Dani was getting tired of fighting her every day. She was so tired and that scared her. Ever since they had learned that they would be taking Miles and Flora home with them, Dani could feel the Lady in the Lake start to wake up inside of her. She thought it was just the recollection of memories from that time now that she felt closer to it. It didn't go away, though.

"Jamie, she's there right now," Dani whimpered. Jamie's body clenched and she turned to face Dani. "Every time I think about being closer to the kids, I feel her scratching, trying to get out."

"You have to keep fighting," Jamie said. "Promise me, you'll keep fighting."

Tears erupted in Dani's eyes and she looked up at the lights over Jamie's head. "I fight everyday and it's so tiring."

"Tell me how I can help."

"You can't," Dani shook her head. "It has to be me."

Jamie brushed her hand over the side of Dani's face. "You've kept her at bay for two years now, baby. You can keep going a little longer."

"What if a day comes where it isn't about if I can keep her from taking me, but about protecting you or the kids from her? What am I supposed to do then?" Dani whispered.

"Then we deal with it when it gets here, okay?" Jamie begged. "Please. I need more time with you. One day isn't enough."

Dani nodded and held Jamie's hand against herself, "I want more time, too. I'm just scared I can't promise it."

Jamie pulled her girlfriend closer to her and held her tight. "Do you ever wonder if there's a way to break the bond?"

"Sometimes," Dani said. "But then it wouldn't end with me. She would take more people."

"I care about you and I living our lives together," Jamie said. "I don't care about other people."

Dani squeezed Jamie's hand. "You and I both know that's not true. And that's why it's so hard, because this has to end with me."

A single, solitary tear slipped from Jamie's eye and she rested her chin on Dani's shoulder, looking out over the city. "We're going to find a way."

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