As always the standard disclaimer applies: I do not own the Happy Tree Friends; they are the property of Mondo Media. In addition the character of Fresko the Feline belongs to Deviant Art user Yoshi Lord. I own only my own characters and this story.

Now here's chapter 36:

36 – SLACKERS

Loco made his plans quickly. He mobilized a large contingent of the Special Forces and, after a strategy session with their illustrious Captain, sent them straight out into the field to take up their positions for the attack. Accompanying them were several divisions of foot soldiers who were sent primarily to provide support if needed. The foot soldiers were the grunts of the Animal City military, and, as such, were similar to grunts in just about every army throughout time. These were the common soldiers; the ones sent in to do the menial support tasks, or to provide the front-line cannon fodder in big battles. Every military has them; indeed no successful military has ever not had them as they are indispensable. They often provide the numbers that can win battles through sheer overwhelming mass. But they usually are the ones who sustain the highest casualties too, as they contain the newcomers and the inexperienced fighters. There is no shame in serving in the enlisted ranks (the majority of soldiers do after all), and in battle anyone can become a hero leading to other, better things. However the foot soldier also has to obey and clean up after those of higher rank. Sometimes this can be galling, especially to those who don't distinguish themselves, have no connections to rise higher, and wind up serving in the lower ranks for their entire periods of enlistment.

Even though the After Times produced many heroes and people who rose to the occasions over the years to build the new cities, and fight XL-Jack-3 and his Marauders, there were still, and probably always would be, those characters who didn't pull their weight, or make successes of themselves, or actively tried to avoid making any real efforts. There were still, even in these times, those who tried to get the most for themselves with the least amount of effort, and those who had such false self-images that they thought they deserved far more in life than they had ever actually worked for. The universal slacker knows no time period and such a pair of slackers were Animal City residents Lifty and Shifty.

Lifty and Shifty were young raccoon brothers. They were both in early adulthood, although Shifty was the older and more dominant brother. Both of them were low rank foot soldiers in the Animal City Reserves and had been all of their adult lives. Lifty and Shifty had been born and raised in the Animal City; they were real slackers who, if they had not succeeded in getting ahead in life, had become that way through their own efforts (or lack of them). They were naturally mischievous and born trouble-makers. If they had put half of the effort that they made in trying to avoid first school-work, and later real work, they might very easily have become huge successes in whatever they chose to do. They had the brains for it but not the drive. As a result of despising first school, and later real work, and of constantly doing everything they could to avoid either, they had wound up becoming, well, nothing very much of any consequence at all. Many of their schoolmates (such as Flaky, Nutty, and Petunia) had gotten along quite well in their lives, but Lifty and Shifty had become perpetual petty criminal / slacker / bum-types.

They didn't see it that way of course. To hear either Lifty or Shifty tell it, they were misunderstood geniuses who deserved to get ahead in life simply because they were born. They both had first class entitlement complexes and thought that all of their problems were simply due to bad luck and other animals deliberately holding them back from what they saw as rightfully theirs (whatever that might have been). In one, and only one, sense there was something to that. If they had been human, or A.I., instead of animal, they might easily have done for Metramegopolis what Frik and Frak did for the Marauders, and have become spies and troublemakers inside the Marauder ranks.

Their view of the world meant that they didn't take working for anyone well at all, especially being called up for reserve duty. So it's probably not all that surprising that almost as soon as their division had arrived at the location of their encampment and begun to set up their equipment the two raccoon brothers began looking for a way to leave. They were able to make their way to the edge of the encampment fairly easily by carrying some of their own gear and, if anyone asked what they were doing, acting as if they were moving stuff from one tent to another. The guard on the camp edge was not yet fully in place so they managed to slip into the nearby woods. Once among the shelter of the trees they relaxed a bit near a large rock.

"What do we do now?" asked Lifty, putting down his stuff, "go back to the City?"

"We should lie low for a bit" said Shifty, "until this stuff blows over. We'll find a hole and move in. Our supplies should keep us for a bit."

"Why did they have to call us up?" Lifty complained.

"Because they're stupid" said Shifty,

"Maybe" said a voice from above them, "but it doesn't change anything. And you should know better than to try to slip away from me." Startled, the brothers looked up at the figure who was looking down on them from the top of the rock.

"Fresko!" Lifty and Shifty both cried.

"That's my name, don't wear it out" came the response as Fresko jumped to the ground to face them, "but don't forget that that's Captain Fresko to you."

(To Be Continued)