This is chapter 50! That seems crazy! Thank you to everyone who's read and reviewed so far, I hope you're still enjoying the story!
"Aunt Amy, is there… oh" Rachel froze when she realised her Aunt was speaking to someone on the phone, "sorry, I didn't…"
"It's okay" Amy held out a hand, "it's only Nana, come say hi."
"What do you mean 'only' Nana?" Erin raised one eyebrow.
Amy rolled her eyes as Rachel came to sit on the arm of the chair she was sat in, the woman smiling slightly as she realised that even Jimmy's wardrobe wasn't safe anymore, the tshirt Rachel had pulled on over her swimsuit most definitely belonged to her husband, or at least it used to, Amy wasn't sure if Rachel would let him have it back or not. "What I mean" Amy turned her attention back to her Mom's face on the screen, "is she doesn't need to apologise, I don't mind her coming in while we're talking."
"No" Erin smiled, "I don't mind either, and it means I can make sure she's keeping you all in check" she teased before asking Rachel, "are you having a good time?"
Rachel nodded and tucked herself into Amy's side, Amy wrapping her arm around Rachel's waist and moving the phone so Erin could see Rachel, "Yeah, it's a bit hot but it's really nice, Uncle Jim's teaching me how to swim."
"That's great, and being in the water will help keep you cool."
"Yeah, Lily and Max have hardly been out of the pool since we got here."
"They're going to be like wrinkly little prunes when we get home" Amy chuckled.
"I'm glad you're all having a good time" Erin smiled, "but I'll get off and let you get back to enjoying yourself."
"Okay, I'll text you later" Amy told her, rarely going a day without texting or calling her Mom.
"Okay Darling, I'll talk to you soon, and I'll speak to you soon too Rachel, give your Mom my love."
"Okay, see you soon Nana" Rachel smiled, she and Amy both saying goodbye again before Erin ended the video call.
Amy turned to Rachel and smiled softly, reaching up to brush her hair back from her face, "did you want me Pretty Girl?"
Rachel nodded and nuzzled into her Aunt, Amy always happy to give the girl as much love and affection as she wanted. "Uncle Jimmy said he's going to do a barbecue for lunch, he's going to the store to get some things and he wondered if there was anything you wanted."
"Okay, I'll come talk to him" Amy stayed where she was when Rachel didn't move, "are you okay?"
Rachel nodded but stayed cuddled into Amy, she'd been swimming with Jimmy and playing with Lily and Max all morning and she appreciated a few quiet minutes with her Aunt, "did it hurt?" she asked, gently trailing her fingers over Amy's side. Rachel had been surprised to find out that Amy and Jim both had tattoos, Jimmy had a large tribal piece across his back and Amy had a vine of leaves and flowers stretching from her hip bone to just under her breast.
"A little" Amy nodded, "there were some tender spots but it all sort of went numb after a while."
"It's pretty" Rachel smiled.
"Thank you" Amy kissed Rachel's hair, "are you sure you're okay?"
"I'm okay" Rachel nodded, "I just wanted a moment" she admitted, "I love Lily and Max, I do…" she didn't want Amy to be angry with her.
"But they can be a bit of a handful and you're not used to living with their chaos 24/7?" Amy knew exactly what Rachel meant, "it's okay, I get it."
"I do like spending time with them" Rachel insisted.
"I know but it's okay if you need to take a break from them for a little while. How about I have a quiet word with your Mom so the two of you can do something together this afternoon, even if you just sit in here and watch a movie or something, me and Jim will keep the kids busy."
Rachel nodded, "I'd like that, thank you. "
"No worries Pretty Girl" Amy kissed her hair again, "let's go tell Uncle Jimmy what we want for lunch."
Amy took Rachel's hand in her own as they walked outside and Rachel made a beeline for Shelby as Amy went to Jim, "is there anything you want from the store?" Shelby asked Rachel as she gestured for the girl to sit with her.
Rachel shook her head before changing her mind, "can we get some more apple juice please? Lily's been drinking it too so I don't know how much we have left."
"Sure" Shelby smiled, "I'll go ask Uncle Jimmy to get some."
"It's okay" Rachel smiled, "I'll go."
Shelby smiled and kissed Rachel's cheek before she headed over to her uncle, "will you get me some chips or something?" she heard Amy ask, "something salty, get a couple of bags because you know once they see them the kids will want some too. And some gum or some mints."
"Sure" Jimmy smiled when he saw Rachel, "is there anything you want from the store Rach?"
Rachel felt Amy's hand on her back, the woman stroking gently between her shoulder blades. "Could you get some more apple juice please?"
"Of course? Anything else? Snacks? Cookies? Candy? Anything in particular you want for the barbecue?"
Rachel shook her head, "no thank you, and I, I've never had a barbecue before" she admitted, relaxing into her Aunt's touch, "I don't know what…" she trailed off, not sure what food he was planning on cooking.
"Okay" Jimmy tried not to sound surprised, "are burgers and hot dogs okay?"
"Get some salad or some veggies too please" Amy added.
"I will" Jim nodded before turning his attention back to Rachel, "is that okay?" he asked her, "if you want something else we've got plenty of food, I'd be happy to make you something else."
Rachel shook her head, "burgers will be fine thank you" she smiled.
"Okay, I'll just go grab a shirt and then I'll be off, text me if you think of anything else you want" he leaned over to kiss Amy and headed inside before Rachel could even offer to give back the shirt she was still wearing.
Rachel was sure that Amy and her Mom had some sort of psychic communication going on, once again, she'd been with both her Aunt and her Mom since she'd spoken to Amy, and once again, Amy had managed to talk to Shelby without even Rachel noticing."Don't worry about those" Shelby swatted Jim's hand away when he reached for her empty plate once they'd all finished eating. Rachel had enjoyed her burger but she'd also eaten a lot of the salad and vegetable skewers too. Shelby had noticed that, despite Rachel now having a much more varied diet than when she lived with her fathers, the girl often gravitated towards vegetables and grains over meat but Shelby didn't mind that, as long as Rachel ate enough to fill her, she was happy. "You cooked" Shelby told him, "Rachel and I will tidy up" she said, beginning to gather up the empty plates.
"I'll help you Auntie Lelly" Max began stacking empty cups one inside the other, they were all plastic so no one minded him helping.
"Me too" Lily nodded as she picked up her own plate.
Once everything had been carried inside, Shelby told Lily and Max they could go and play, she and Rachel would put everything in the dishwasher. "Come here" Shelby held her arms out to Rachel once they were alone, the girl quick to step into her Mom's embrace. Shelby held Rachel for a moment before kissing her temple and asking, "what would you like to do this afternoon?" Rachel hid her face in the crook of Shelby's neck and mumbled something quietly, "I'm sorry Baby" Shelby stroked Rachel's back, "what was that?"
Rachel pulled her face away from Shelby's skin long enough to repeat, "I'm sorry" before tucking herself away again.
Shelby said nothing but carefully led Rachel through to the living area, sitting down in the same armchair where Rachel had sat with Amy earlier that day and gently pulling Rachel to sit on her lap, cradling her like an infant. "What are you sorry for Baby?" Once again, Shelby felt Rachel mumble something into her shoulder but couldn't make out the words, "I can't tell what you're saying Darling."
"I'm sorry that I told Aunt Amy and not you."
Shelby moved slightly, slipping her hand under Rachel's chin and lifting it so she could look her daughter in the eye, even if Rachel couldn't return the eye contact, Shelby still wanted her to know she meant every word she was about to say. "I am not angry with you" she said, her voice soft, yet firm enough to be sure Rachel knew she was being truthful. "I will never be angry with you for talking to your Aunt about anything. If something is bothering you then I just want you to talk to someone, I don't mind who that person is Rachel. Of course you can come to me to talk about anything. But if you can't, if I'm not there or if you're uncomfortable talking to me, then I have absolutely no problem with you talking to someone else, as long as you're not keeping things bottled inside then that's okay. Do you understand?" Rachel nodded, tears glistening in her eyes." Oh Darling" Shelby hugged her tighter, "what's brought this on?"
"I thought you'd be angry with me" Rachel whispered, "after Aunt Amy had to tell you I needed new underwear and now this…"
"Aunt Amy used to come to me instead of Nana all the time when she was younger, Nana didn't mind, and I don't mind you talking to Amy either, as long as you're not talking to her because you feel like you can't come to me, because you absolutely can, about anything you want, but you don't have to talk to me if you'd rather go to someone else. I promise you baby, as long as you're not keeping things bottled up, I don't mind if you talk to Aunt Amy, Uncle Jim, Mrs Puckerman, Nana, your therapist, one of your teachers, I don't even mind if you just want to talk things over with your friends. What you share and who you share it with is always going to be your choice baby and I will never be angry with you for that."
"I, I love you Mom." It was true, Rachel really did love Shelby and she didn't mind telling her as often as she could, often because she had no other way to express how grateful she was for everything Shelby did, but sometimes she'd say those four small words just because she needed to hear her Mom's response and Shelby never let her down.
"I love you too Baby, so, so much." Shelby sat in silence, holding her daughter for a while before speaking again, "why don't we stay here for a little while until you feel a better, then we load the dishwasher and go for a walk? We can head down to the beach, check out some of the stores and then find somewhere to get ice cream or something. Sound good?"
"Yeah" Rachel nodded against Shelby's shoulder, "it does thank you."
"Oh baby" Shelby kissed Rachel's hair, "You've got nothing to thank me for."
They sat for a while, Shelby humming quietly to her daughter until Rachel felt a little calmer, when Shelby kissed Rachel's head and told her to go put some shorts on while she loaded the dishwasher. "Do you think Uncle Jimmy's mad that I took his tshirt?" Rachel asked, fiddling nervously with the hem of the top.
"Not at all" Shelby told her, "in fact, I think it's made him quite happy."
Rachel frowned, "he's happy that I stole his clothes?"
"He's happy that you're comfortable enough to take his shirt, that you know he's not going to react badly to you wearing it. And I don't know if I'm right but I've always assumed that you wear my clothes, wear Amy's clothes because you get some sort of comfort from it, and I think it makes him happy that you can get that same comfort from him."
Rachel smiled, "I like him, I, I know he isn't like they were, but I, I still get scared sometimes."
"I know" Shelby kissed Rachel's hair, "and that's okay, Uncle Jimmy knows that when you get scared it's not because of him, we all know you've been through a lot, and you're doing so well sweetheart, and I promise you, in time, you won't be scared anywhere near as often as you are now."
Rachel nodded, "I know" she smiled, cuddling into Shelby again.
"Good" Shelby kissed her temple, "do you want to go out or do you just want to stay here?"
"I want to go out" Rachel nodded, "but can we just stay here for another minute or two?"
"Of course Baby" Shelby smiled, "we can stay here as long as you want."