It was the next day, and Brittany and Santana were sitting in the park together with their coffee's. They'd spent the rest of Saturday together, just playing with Mila and having a big old catch up, before Brittany had left to go and spend some time with her family. She had her flight back to New York Sunday evening, so it was a short but sweet visit. Knowing how much her daughter needed some time alone with her best friend, away from being a mother, Maribel offered to watch Mila.
"Nope. I'm sorry, but it just doesn't taste the same now." Brittany laughed, taking a sip of her coffee "Once you have New York coffee, I'm telling you, you never go back."
Santana laughed along with Brittany, before her face fell, letting out a sad smile.
"Well at least in a matter of hours, you'll be back there"
"Yeah" Brittany smiled sadly, letting out a sigh.
"I'll have to come visit you" Santana said, breaking the unhappy silence that had washed over them "When Mila is a bit older though. I don't think I could get on a plane with her just yet" she laughed.
"Santana?" Brittany asked softly, causing Santana to turn and look at her.
"Yeah?"
"I don't wanna go back to New York" Brittany confessed.
Santana nodded at the blonde, urging her to continue.
"It's just…it's just not what I expected it to be. I love the coffee, but that's about it. I'm desperately lonely over there, and I don't fit in. I miss my family, I miss Lima, I miss…you" Brittany admitted, unable to stop the tears falling from her eyes.
Santana reached out to tenderly wipe Brittany's tears away. She hated seeing Brittany cry more than anything.
"The only thing keeping me hanging on out there was the fact you were coming, but now you're not" Brittany smiled sadly "And being back here in Lima, around everyone I love, has only made me realise how much I just don't wanna go back there."
"Brit…"
"No San, just listen. I've spent months tangled up in knots, and in 5 minutes of being back here, you straightened me out." Brittany adjusts herself to rest again Santana, laying her head on her shoulder. Santana brings her arm up around Brittany, softly stroking her arm. It would usually be the other way around, but today, Brittany needed the comfort.
"New York was exciting when you were in the picture, now you're not going to be, it's just…dull and grey. Lima, the place I've wanted to get out of my whole life is suddenly the place I want to be. And you know what I think I've just realised? Home isn't just a destination to me, it's you. It's wherever I am in the world with you. We can live the life we wanted in New York, but here instead. As long as we're together, nothing else matters".
"You and me…" Brittany continued taking Santana's hand into her lap.
"Me and you" she whispered, absentmindedly drawing a heart with her finger on Santana's hand.
"Both of us together" she smiled, this time clasping her fingers around the hand, their fingers gliding perfectly together.
Santana's eyes filled up with tears as she stared down at Brittany. Her words were so simple yet so powerful. Santana knew she felt the same way. Brittany was her happiness and her home and her comfort. With Brittany, she could do anything. She was distracted by Brittany moving, rumbling in her pocket for something.
"What are you doing?" asked Santana
"I'm cancelling my flight. I'm staying right here, where I belong" Brittany said simply.
Santana watched with anguish as she watched Brittany grab her phone, ready to cancel her flight. This was going to kill her and Brittany, but she needed to do it.
"Brit, you can't…"
"Don't be silly, course I can. It's still a few hours before check in. Sure, I'll probably lose the money but who cares? Maybe if I'm lucky, they'll give me a voucher. We can use it to take Mila somewhere when she's older" she smiled excitedly
"No, I mean you can't…you can't not go back to New York"
Brittany frowned, hanging up the phone.
"Did you not hear what I just said? I said I hate it there."
"I know, I know I heard you but…I know you Brit. I know you inside out, probably better than I know myself. I know how you absolutely hate being pushed out of your comfort zone. The first day of Kindergarten, the first time that we met" Santana smiled at the memory "It was a big change for you, and you hated it, but you stuck it out because you had no choice. What happened at the end of Elementary School?" she pressed.
"I cried because I was sad to leave. Because I ended up loving that school so much"
Santana nodded, before continuing
"How about the time when we went camping in Middle School, and we had to all of those activities like caving and rock climbing, and you cried because you were scared to do it. What happened in the end?"
Brittany cast her mind back.
"I did it, and I was given an award at prize giving for my effort"
Another nod from Santana
"Yep, and then you went on to volunteer at Summer Camp in High School, and you said yourself you think they gave you the job because of that experience. And you used it to help all those scared, homesick kids" she reminded Brittany.
Brittany smiled; she'd forgotten about that.
"How about the time in Cheerios? Where Sue put you in charge of choreographing a section of the routine, and gave you that huge feature? When you were panicking that you weren't good enough. Before we went on, you said you were paralysed with fear. But what happened?"
Brittany shook her head emotionally; she could see what Santana was trying to do now.
"We won" she said simply, her voice cracking.
Santana took Brittany's hands in hers, forcing her to look at her, staring at her intently.
"And can you remember what you said at the beginning of Senior Year?" asked Santana "You said that you would never graduate High School and get into college. And what happened Brittany?"
"I graduated and got into college" Brittany replied, her lip quivering as she stared into Santana's big brown eyes.
"With a scholarship!" Santana added.
Brittany wiped her tears with the back of her hand, only for more to fall.
"But I did all of that with you Santana. You helped me through all of it. Without you I wouldn't have been able to do any of that stuff."
"No Brittany you just think I helped you, but really you did it all by yourself. You're stronger than you ever give yourself credit for, and I know that because I truly know you Brit. I've seen you do it all" she moved her hands to cup Brittany's face, wiping her tears away with her thumbs.
"I have watched you grow from a little girl, to the amazing person you are today. All I've done is been by your side to catch you, but I've never needed to do it. You've rose to every challenge that life has ever thrown at you. All these years, it's been you holding me up, not me holding you. And this…this will be no different. My Abuela once told me that being out of your comfort zone is part of God's plan to test you. He'll never give you anything he doesn't think you can handle, and it's always a sign of good things to come. Because when you finally push through it and come out the other end, you'll be stronger for it. It'll end up being one of the best experiences in your life, just like all those other examples have"
"But I have nobody out there, I'm so lonely" Brittany sobbed softly. This broke Santana's heart.
"Have you been putting yourself out there much? I know there's been times you've been invited to parties, but you didn't go so you could spend the evening on Skype with me. Maybe now you know I can't come with you, you'll put yourself out there more, and focus on making some new friends"
"But I like spending my evening on Skype to you" Brittany sniffed
"And that doesn't have to change" Santana smiled "We can Skype whenever you want. All I'm saying is that you have one more term before the year's out. Maybe this time, force yourself to say yes more. You're the most amazing person I know, and people will be fighting to be your friend, you just have to try."
"What if I'm still miserable?"
"If at the end of the year you're still hating it, then I'll hold my hands up and say I'm wrong, and you can come back here, and we'll figure something else out. But I know you can do this Brit. I know it's going to end up great for you. I can't let you just give this up so easy. You love your course, right?"
"Yeah the course is great…"
"Well then all you need to do is focus on making friends like I said, and then you'll come to love it. It'll be the best thing you ever did, trust me. Just think, you could end up dancing for Beyoncé by the end of this." Santana raised her eyebrows, causing Brittany to smile "That's what you were meant to do, not teaching some snotty little kids in a run-down studio in Lima"
"And what about you? You're so clever Santana. Don't you want to go to college and carry on your dreams too?"
Santana smiled sadly and looked down.
"Life's taken a different path for me, for now. But I'll get there in the end. I'll end up where I'm meant to be, and if I'm still meant to be a hot-shot Lawyer it will happen. But, for now, I'm here, and I'm always going to be right here waiting for you. I just want you to see this year through, okay. For me?"
Brittany looked at Santana's pleading eyes and nodded sadly.
"Okay. For you."
The goodbye was emotional. Her dad was taking her to the airport, and Brittany had stared out of the car window at her mom who was a wreck, standing on the left side of the car. Maribel was standing slightly behind holding baby Mila, and Santana was pushed right up against the window, A single tear streaming down her face. She placed her hand against the window with a watery smile. Brittany lifted her own hand in return, placing it against Santana's smaller hand.
They stayed like that until Mr Pierce had to drive off, and Brittany had craned her neck to stare out the window at Santana, for as long as she was in view.
"I'll see you soon San" she whispered to herself sadly.
When she landed got back to her dorm it was almost 10pm. The weekend had emotionally drained her, and all she wanted to do was go to sleep, but some of her roommates had invited her to a party. She thought back to what Santana had said, who speaking of the devil, had just text her.
To: Brittany
You back in your dorm now? x
They had been texting none stop since she landed. Brittany quickly typed out her reply.
To: Santana
Yeah just got back! Some of my roomies are going to a party and asked if I want to go. I'm exhausted though!x
No sooner had she text back, was her phone buzzing in her hand with Santana's reply
To: Brittany
OMG! You're going!
Before Brittany had the chance to text back, she had an incoming call from Santana.
"Right talk me through all of your outfits! We need to pick you something to wear!" Santana said excitedly.
Brittany smiled, she more than appreciated her best friends' effort to be there, even if she was 600 miles away.
A couple of hours into the party Brittany found herself sitting alone on the sofa, drink in hand, musing over the past weekend. She'd spoken to a couple of people, and it had been a decent night, but she didn't really want to be there.
"Hey" she was brought out of her thoughts by a tall, dark, attractive man sitting down next to her "Everyone's wondering why the cute blonde girl is so sad" he said with a smile.
Brittany let out a small laugh.
"Sorry. Just not really feeling it, I'm a bit tired that's all"
The boy looked at her with a raised eyebrow and a smile, doubting her excuse. Brittany couldn't help but stare into his deep brown eyes. He was pretty handsome!
"Okay, I'm just missing home a lot. I just got back from visiting for the weekend, so I think that makes it harder" Brittany caved, giving the honest reason this time.
The boy smiled sympathetically.
"Hey I feel you. It happens to the best of us. I'm from Arizona, and I miss my family a lot" he said, taking a sip of his drink before continuing "How about yourself, where are you from?"
"Ohio" Brittany smiled sadly "Lima, to be precise"
"Never heard of it" the boy laughed "But I'm sure it's great"
"It's nothing special but it's…home" she smiled.
"I'm Denver, by the way" the boy stuck out his hand
"Brittany." The blonde smiled, shaking his hand.
"It's hard being homesick Brittany, but there comes a point where you have to think, this is where you are, and you just have to enjoy it. You never know, you might just have fun"
"I know, I know…you're right" Brittany nodded "So what do you study?" she asked in an attempt to change the conversation.
"I'm at NYU, 1st year of my JD" he smiled proudly. "How about you?"
At this Brittany swallowed and let out a sad sigh, thinking how Santana should be doing Law at NYU.
"Brittany?" Denver waved his hands in front of the distracted blonde's face, snapping her back into reality.
"Sorry" she smiled "I'm studying Dance at Juilliard. Shall we go get another drink?" she asked, changing the subject again.
"Sure!" Denver replied, holding his hand out to Brittany to pull her up.
Meanwhile in Lima, Santana was lay in bed wide awake, Mila sleeping contently on her chest. It was long past midnight, but she couldn't sleep, the weekends events playing on her mind. She thought about Brittany, and she hoped she was having fun and making friends. She'd not replied to her last text, so she could only assume that was the case.
She looked at the globe on her bedside table, the same one she has had for years. Closing her eyes, she spun it, before placing her finger down randomly.
She opened her eyes to the same 2 words.
New York.