Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

Author's note: Some questions will be answered in this chapter.

Author's note: Listen to 'Andare' by Ludovico Einaudi.

Leah was aware that she was taking things too far, but as usual her damn mouth-hell, her whole body-had a mind of its own.

What the hell did she care what the vamps and their pet human did behind closed doors? They didn't hurt anyone (except themselves). All parties were consensual. Yadda yadda yadda. Leah got that and, her being a 21st century civilized human being, pretty much adhered to a 'live and let live' philosophy. The world was a big place after all and no one person's moral compass could guide everyone else.

Except, this was really, really getting to her.

"Sit down," Bella snapped suddenly at her, catching Leah off guard. She expected blondie to get in her face, not Bella.

She sat, dumping her weight onto the chair and plastering her famous 'fuck off' look.

Bella whispered something to Rosalie, pissing Leah off even more because as good as her hearing was she still couldn't make out what was said. The blonde left their table without another word.

The remaining humans sat, unmoving in their quiet corner of the restaurant. Until now, Bella had stayed out of her way and she did the same. The few times she had seen her, the girl was difficult to read. She masked her feelings well around her, surprisingly well in fact. After a few days, most people begin to show their real selves (whether good or bad). It's too difficult a chore to hide, to pretend. But Bella...Leah never really got the sense of who the girl was. She certainly displayed nothing of what she saw in Jacob's memories.

Right now however, she was very easy to read. Bella looked pissed.

A heavy slam on the table startled her out of her thoughts. Oh good, the vampire brought lunch.

"You don't have to eat it if you don't want it," Bella said nonchalantly. "But Esme's hunting today and isn't cooking anything. So unless you're good with a skillet, I suggest you get your fill."

Damn it. No, Leah was a terrible chef. And as blasphemous as it felt to even think it, she couldn't help mourning the loss of Esme's culinary fare. Jesus that woman could cook.

So, Leah stamped down her pride and picked up the burger in front of her, trying to ignore the slight vampy smell wafting from it. That bitch better not have spat in her food…

As she ate in silence, she noted the bitch in question looking at her-actually more like looking through her. Leah, who was still unaccustomed to the vampires' penchant for inhuman stillness, felt extremely put off by it. Bella on the other hand looked right at home next to her stony girlfriend.

"All right," Bella started out of the blue when her burger was mostly finished. "You have our undivided attention."

"Excuse me?" Leah asked.

"You don't like our relationship. I'd like to hear your reasons. And I'd like the chance to counter your arguments."

Leah swallowed her last bite painfully down her constricting throat, clearing it afterwards. "Look, it's none of my business. And I'm sorry that-"

"I don't like that you think so little of her," Bella interrupted softly. Beside her, blondie budged an inch. "She's not what you think she is."

She let out a drawn out sigh, uncomfortable with this harsh spotlight.

"Fine…" And because she was genuinely curious, asked, "how is it any different from cheating?"

Bella leaned back in her chair. "Cheating implies deception, doesn't it?"

"Yeah…"

"Well, there's been none of that. We don't see each other behind Emmett's back."

"But...he can't be ok with this."

Rosalie's chin went up. "He is," she said. Her eyes burned through Leah's, clearly unhappy with the inquisition but determined to see it through. "He wanted me to reach out to Bella long before I actually did. I was trying to convince myself what you believe to be true now: that I couldn't love both him and Bella. That attempting it would not work."

Leah looked away, her own raging emotions bubbling to the surface. "But why wasn't he enough? Why wasn't he good enough for you?!"

It was just the three of them at the table, but in the corner of her eye, Leah could've sworn Sam and Emily had materialized right next to her. Their undeniable love written on their faces as their bodies literally gravitated to one another. She wanted to throw her glass at them.

Rosalie paused, but Bella nodded gently to her, silently imploring her to carry on.

She sighed. "Your mistake is that you believe a person can't love more than one person. You think that because I fell in love with Bella after Emmett, that means I have to love Emmett less. That might be the case for some, but it wasn't the case for me. You think that if I feel affection for one of my partners, then I forget or totally erase the affection for the other. But it's not a switch that you turn on and off."

"I know you think romantic love is a finite thing. You think that if too many people share it, the pieces get too small to be meaningful, right?"

Leah looked back and forth between the two women in front of her and slowly nodded.

"Well, love is not an object," Rosalie said. "It's not like money, where if you give some to one person you have less left over to give to others."

"Don't parents love all their children no matter how many they have?" Bella added with a strange tone in her voice. Or was it her imagination?

It wasn't her imagination. Rosalie gave Bella a quick look before clasping her hand tightly in hers.

"If you had another sibling, wouldn't you love him or her just as much as you love Seth?"

"Yes, but…"

"You'd have different experiences with each of them. Different memories to look back on. And some of those memories, all of you could share. But your relationship with each one would be different, unique. And yet, you'd still love them both equally," Rosalie said.

Leah shook her head. At this point she honestly wasn't trying to antagonize the pair in front of her or be difficult. She just couldn't grasp at what they were saying. The words made sense. The words...they were beautiful in a way. But fire was beautiful too, in a way. That doesn't mean one should make a habit of playing with it.

"Someday…" She struggled to phrase her thoughts without making any more insults. It was obvious Bella was on the express train to becoming a leech-vampire, she corrected herself. Was she really willing to trade her mortal life away for an eternity as the other woman?

She turned to Bella, who had been looking at her intently this whole time, with every intention of voicing her concern out loud. She opened her mouth to speak, then promptly shut it again when Bella's expression abruptly, and alarmingly changed.

A split second ago, Bella displayed caution, slight annoyance towards her and affection for her girlfriend. But without any indication of a warning, Bella's face was transformed to one of panic, pain, and...pleading? Her eyes burned with pain Leah had never seen on anyone, much less her. And she was looking straight at her, as frozen in place as her girlfriend.

Frozen...except for the tiniest shaking of her head.

Leah was, to be frank, too dumbfounded to speak. She managed a hoarse "Whatever," and when she looked at her again, Bella was back to normal.

"Your life is your business," she said after clearing her throat. "But I'll try not to be such a bitch about it, ok?"

Rosalie did not display any outward reaction except for getting up and taking Bella's tray to the trash. Leah, on her way to do the same, could've sworn she heard her mutter "the bitch is in her blood..."

'Nervous' was not a word Rosalie used to describe herself very often. Haughty, vindictive, suspicious. Now those were apt descriptors. Over the years, Rosalie had met countless people in various towns, schools, and universities. She had even talked to a handful of those people. If a survey could be conducted across place and time, the consensus amongst even the people she didn't completely despise would be that Rosalie does not experience fear, misgivings, or hesitation. She views people as if they were flies on the windshields of her precious cars, and has no qualms flicking them out of and away from her predictable, simple life.

Boy, if all those people could see her now.

Her heart couldn't hammer wildly in her chest. Her palms couldn't sweat. Her stomach couldn't rumble with butterflies. Her legs couldn't shake uncontrollably from the sheer anticipation. None of it mattered. Rosalie felt like vomiting-never mind if that was a physical impossibility.

She stood on the ground by Bella's cabin, leaning against a wall, keeping her eyes closed as she breathed in and out with timed precision. Over and over, she mentally ran through the decades' evolution of her thoughts about mortality, about Bella and Emmett, and about herself. She ran through everything she'd been yearning to say to Bella and that she finally, finally found the courage to say.

It had taken too long. Getting to this point should not have been so painful. If it were Emmett, he would've talked to Bella months and months ago. But Emmett doesn't have Rosalie's baggage. He's always been perfectly content with his lot, human or vampire, a contentedness that Rosalie most definitely did not share. It had taken her far too long to broach this subject with her, but she was sure Bella would understand. She knew Rosalie well, after all. She knew how hard this was for her to talk about. Rosalie hated to apologize for anything but she promised herself she would for not bringing it up sooner.

Her heavenly scent wound its way through the trees and Rosalie clenched her fists as she shrank within herself a little, a reflex to prevent herself from leaping towards her prize with fangs exposed. That scent drove her absolutely crazy. It could calm her, enrage her, fill her with ignitable passion. She wondered how it would change when Bella transformed. Would it become more or less enticing?

"Hey!" Bella smiled when she came into view. Rosalie smiled softly and pulled her into her arms when she was in reach.

"Hey yourself," she replied. "How'd it go with Esme?"

Bella grinned brightly. "Great! She thinks the Wongs will go with our design. If they do, I'll actually get to see the whole building process!"

Rosalie laughed at how excited this little thing was making her. She was so accustomed to this interest of hers but sometimes she caught herself chuckling anyway at the former wild child's passion for Esme's work-as if she'd caught Pocahontas gracing the cover of Better Homes and Gardens and gushing inside about the merits of argyle patterns in the living room. Pretty darn surreal.

"That's wonderful!" She exclaimed with a kiss.

And hopefully, she mentally added, you'll be so busy with that you'll forget to work on the cabin.

"Bells," she whispered after pulling away from her lips. "Can you take us to our tree. I want to talk to you about something…"

Rosalie sat down with Bella on the huge branch of their douglas fir. The ample network of lush branches closed in around them like a cape. Rosalie took a moment to watch the golden light from the brilliant sunset stream through the leaves and touch her Bella.

Quit stalling, she admonished herself.

Her eyes roamed Bella's hair. The sun's dance on it made it look like it was on fire. Her eyes too had a flame-like quality to them that could and had on many occasions hypnotized Rosalie.

Here we go.

"There are some things I need to tell you," Rosalie said after taking a deep breath. "Emmett and I...well...we've both had affairs with others in the past."

She could tell by Bella's instant confusion that she hadn't anticipated this from her. It wasn't the most direct approach to what Rosalie really wanted to talk about, but she believed she had to tell her everything of her past before she had any right to bring Bella into her future.

Rosalie moved her thumb over the palm of Bella's hand and started to speak, but Bella beat her to it.

"You don't owe me an explanation. I already know…"

It was Rosalie's turn to be surprised. "What?"

"Er...Edward may have let something slip once…"

The vampire let out a low growl. That son of a bitch.

"What exactly did he say?" She asked slowly, careful not to dump her anger onto Bella.

"Only that I wasn't your first affair."

"You are not an affair!"

Fuck you, Edward! Rosalie shut her eyes tightly, cursing her brother for this breach into her private life.

"I know," Bella said softly. "His words. Not mine."

"Ok." She nodded. "Ok. I'm going to tell you everything now."

When Bella started to protest again, she cut her off with a light finger on her lips. "It's your right," Rosalie insisted before continuing. "The Denali's...we call them family strictly because of our shared diet. But they've always been much more to me."

Bella nodded. "Tanya?" She asked, voicing a long-held suspicion.

"Yes," Rosalie replied. "Kate and Irina too, but mostly Tanya."

Bella gave her a wry grin. "I certainly don't blame you."

She shook her head. "No, no. It wasn't just sexual. Not with Tanya. It might've become more but...I mean, it was-"

Rosalie sighed in frustration, not accustomed to explaining herself like this.

"In my early years..." she said referring to the first years of blood lust and eternity, "I was-well, Jesus I don't know if any of us told you this, but in our first years vampires are pretty crazy."

"The blood lust," Bella nodded, showing her understanding.

"Um," Rosalie blushed, "that and...sex."

"Huh?"

"Don't ask me why. It's just one of those things. Anyway, we moved to a pretty isolated place my first year and that made the blood lust much easier to avoid. But the other part...well, you know me…"

Bella nodded with her eyes wide open. Oh yeah, she knew Rosalie all right. Then, as if the thought just occurred to her, she asked with horror laced in her voice, "You didn't do anything with Edward did you?"

Rosalie snorted. "Ew. No way. I'll pretend you didn't ask that."

"Ok, ok," Bella laughed. "Noted."

She smiled and continued to run her hands over the girl's soft skin, whispering, "Can you see the problem?"

Bella only looked at her with confusion.

She sighed. "What was my last human memory of?"

Bella's eyes widened with understanding. "Oh."

Rosalie gave her a sad smile. "Suffice it to say, I was having a bigger than typical problem accepting my new life. The first years were hell. Even after I found Emmett. I couldn't…and if I did, I experienced such abject self loathing afterwards." She shook her head, clearing away the surfacing memories. "I'll spare you the details. Just trust me when I say it wasn't pretty."

"So Tanya helped you?" Bella asked, connecting the dots.

"Yeah, she did. The three of them have been around so long. They've seen it all. They helped me learn to let go of what happened to me. Tanya especially, she helped me learn to enjoy making love...to stop reliving that night. She never wanted a relationship so we never developed that-but I can't diminish what we have by calling it casual either. Emmett never cared as long as I was happy. And she did-she made me happy. She certainly taught me that happiness was in reach, and I'll always love her for it."

She paused to let Bella absorb her words. It was a lot to take in, but Rosalie had an inkling Bella would take it in stride. She usually did.

Finally, Bella spoke up. "Edward gave you hell, didn't he?"

Rosalie gritted her teeth. "Always. He thinks we're all going to hell, but according to him, the deepest pit is reserved for me. And all because I refuse to wear the guilt he throws at me."

She nodded. "Are you still seeing her now?"

"No," Rosalie replied carefully. "Not for a couple of years. And I wouldn't without your blessing, same as Emmett."

"Um, is that what you want now? Cause I'm not sure-"

"No!" Rosalie exclaimed. "God, no. That's not why I'm telling you all this."

She closed her eyes, fully aware of every inch of her skin. She felt the rough bark of the tree, the gentle caress of the breeze, and the most electric sensation of all, Bella's body snugly wrapped in her arms. She fidgeted, turning both herself and Bella so they sat face to face.

"There's one more thing I haven't shared with you," Rosalie sighed sadly as she moved to the more painful topic. "Like I said, what I have with the Denalis isn't romantic love. But...I did experience something akin to that once before. Before you, and after I married Emmett."

Rosalie closed her eyes. She had learned to stamp down any thoughts relating to this to avoid Edward's harsh judgement. But Bella needed to know. She needed to know about the most shameful part of her.

"It was in the fifties," she started. "Her name was Anna. Her last name came right before mine, so we sat next to each other in every class that year. I don't normally bother talking to humans but she was different. She…"

"She was blind. She couldn't see me scowl or glare at her. Couldn't see me dismiss her the way I do everyone else. Had no idea what I really looked like. I think that's what drew me to her. She was the first person I encountered since my transformation who treated me like everyone else. You can imagine how refreshing that was."

Bella nodded, hanging on to her every word.

"It happened gradually. Begrudgingly on my part at first. We became friends. Little by little, my affection for her grew until…"

"You fell in love with her," Bella said softly.

She nodded. "Yes. And, surprisingly for the time, Anna returned my feelings. She was a breath of fresh air. I almost felt human when I was with her. A normal girl with a normal friendship, which turned into a normal crush. I could pretend with Anna, and for the brief time that we were close, I very nearly forgot what I was and what I could never have. When I look back, I can see how foolish I was acting. Despite two decades as a vampire, I had a very small reservoir of control to hold me back from hurting her. The first time we kissed and nothing bad happened I grew much too cocky. I threw caution to the wind."

Bella, who had a feeling where this was going, reached for her hand and squeezed tightly. When Bella revealed her secret to the family, she had asked them how many innocents they had accidentally killed. Rosalie had given her a number, and Bella now understood she was hearing the details of that sad history.

Rosalie grew quieter, the cadence of her voice softening as she reached deep into her memories to pull out her most regrettable act.

"I drove her home one day. School let out earlier than usual because of teachers' conference and her mother had to work. She let me into her home and I, wanting to be closer to her, kissed her. I got bolder. Things got heated quickly and…I lost it. Completely. When the frenzy grabs hold of us, Bella, nothing can separate us from the blood. Nothing. Not logic, not compassion, not years of self-discipline. Our lives are a struggle to keep the frenzy at bay. The older we get, the easier it is to ignore the hum of the blood, the smell of it. But even ignorance has its limits. I hit my limit that day with Anna and before I knew it, she was dead."

"Oh, Rose…" Bella whispered.

It was her first and last time drinking human blood.

"After I called Emmett and Carlisle, we burned the body. We burned the whole house. The family had been through this before and we knew how to cover our tracks. We were in a new state by morning with new lives. A clean slate."

She said this last part sardonically. Like you could just erase something like that from your memory. Rosalie barely spoke of it with her family except for Emmett, but Anna's life and death changed her. She actively repelled the majority of humans who attempted to get to know her because the majority of humans who approached her were pricks. But once in a while she would spy someone like Anna-a truly kind, genuine person, and she'd push back even harder. She hated herself for what she did, but in a way she hated Anna too for her gullibility. She hated her for letting Rosalie get close enough to hurt her.

"I'm so sorry," Bella said. And what else could she say? Bella knew better than anyone the pain of living on after causing gruesome deaths.

Rosalie nodded, grateful for Bella's simple response.

"Bells, I'm telling you all of this so you know everything. All the things a person should know about their lover before they can take the next step."

Bella froze.

As if a veil had lifted from her eyes, the reason for this strange conversation was suddenly clear to her. She instinctively knew where all of this would lead and a part of her, the strongest, brightest, happiest part of her, died a little inside.

Rosalie continued, too wrapped up in what she was about to say perhaps to notice that her girlfriend was falling apart.

"Bella, I'm not sure if I'll ever get over what I've lost. But I've begun to accept it. And I have you to thank for that. The truth is...until I met you, until I fell for you and understood what you'd be to me, I would've traded everything I had for a chance to be human again. I wanted the chance to change, to grow, to become more than what I am...than what I was that night. Loving Emmett...I didn't get it until recently, but loving Emmett changed me. And loving you...my god, I can't begin to describe what you've done to me. Because of you and him, I am more today than anything I ever was. And Bella, I know there's more to come. A year from now...ten years...a century...I don't think I...or any of us...will be unchanged. What I'm trying to say, Bells, is that I'm looking forward to an eternity not of stillness but of life. With you. With us. I'm so sorry it took me this long to say it. Bella, will you become one of us? Will you be mine, forever?"

By now tears have fallen, and continued to stream down Bella's face. What Rosalie just said...Bella knew how difficult it was for her to say it. She knew the battle she fought with herself to finally accept her immortality and be at peace with who she was, who she'd always be. Rosalie deserved much more than what she was about to do to her.

She looked her in the eyes and gave her answer.

"No," she said without wavering. "I won't become one of you. I'm so sorry, but I can't-I will not be yours forever."

A foot in front of her, Rosalie was as still as a statue. Bella held her breath, waiting for her to say something, for her to react, to do something. Anything.

Bella registered surprise first on her face. Then shock. And finally Rosalie settled on her familiar, tried and true standard: cold rage.

Bella blinked and in that split second, Rosalie was gone.

"Rose!"

She shouted her name as she stood, frantically turning this way and that looking for her.

"Rose, please!"

A branch snapping violently below. Without a pause Bella dived down, trying to catch sight of the blonde to no avail.

"Damn it Rose! Let me explain!"

More signs of recent damage through the trees in front of her. Bella bolted, her fire and wind working together to propel her deeper and deeper into the forest. Still no Rosalie.

Deep inside herself, her remorse metamorphosed to anger. Not again. Not again!

"You promised!" She shouted, still running but in which direction she had not a clue. "You promised you wouldn't do this! You made me promise you that I wouldn't run! I kept my word! Who's running now?!"

She had to stop. Her grief burned so bright she was in danger of exploding. Already, red specks discoloured the greenery all around her, and she knew that her eyes would soon see nothing but flames.

She scrunched her eyes tightly and balled up her fists. Try as she might, she couldn't stop the sob from escaping her chest. Like an out of tune piano it clashed horribly with the peace of the forest, leaving her breathless.

"WHO'S RUNNING NOW?!"

Author's note: ...and cut! Some big developments here story-wise. Please be oh so lovely readers and leave some feedback. I've mentioned Rosalie's "affairs" a couple of times before, and I hope the way I presented them shows her humanity and complexity. We live in a slut-shaming world and women who freely admit to a complex sexuality (especially those who do so without guilt or apologies) are relegated to beastly standards. That, to me, is beastly. Anyway, please do review. Your responses are what keeps me going. And get ready for some angst.