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It only took two weeks for Dani and Jamie to find a doctor and get scheduled. Due to the violent outbursts, Miles was considered an 'emergency case' and through that Flora got in through the back door, too. Flora didn't understand why she also had to see a psychologist since Miles was the one struggling, but Dani explained that, after everything, they all really needed a psychologist. So, the girl begrudgingly agreed (not that she had much of a choice in the first place).
The psychologist asked Dani and Jamie to come in for an initial appointment to learn about the situation and see if it was a good fit. The two spent the whole morning in the shop in silence, anxious about what would come out of this meeting. They were risking a lot being honest about everything that had happened, but the risk of the long term effects for the kids felt like it outweighed the former.
"Dani and Jamie?" The psychologist called into the waiting room. She was a tall woman who walked with confidence about her. When the couple stood up, she stood aside for them to walk with her into her office. The two settled on the couch opposite an armchair. "I'm Dr. Theodora James. You can just call me Theo."
"Nice to meet you," Dani said and Jamie just nodded.
"In these initial meetings, I ask parents to tell me about their kids, the issues going on and any trauma or inciting events that have happened in their life." Theo asked. She pulled out a pen and pad. "So, why don't you start by telling me about Miles and Flora? What are they like? What are their interests? Et cetera."
"Miles is 13 and Flora will be 11 in a few months," Dani started. "They're both absolute sweethearts."
Jamie nodded in agreement. "Miles is so considerate. Opening doors, getting up to get whatever you need without being asked, doing chores just because he sees they need to be done. Flora is so happy and light hearted it's almost sickening some days."
"He's really good at reading and writing and she tests off the charts in math," Dani sighed and her eyebrows crumpled together. "They spend most of their energy caring for everyone around them. Miles tries to take everyone's pain from them. He would rather feel all of it than have someone else hurt. And Flora, she just tires herself out trying to make everyone feel happier."
"A dog that can smell fear, those two. Except it's not fear, it's pain." Jamie looked off into the distance. "They can spot it from a mile away."
Theo scribbled away as she nodded in understanding. "And it's just Miles that is having behavioral problems right now?"
"I mean, as far as we can tell Flora is doing fine," Dani said. "We're hoping that by getting her in now we can avoid too much bounce back."
"Of course," Theo said. "Tell me about Miles's anger outbursts."
"Threw a spoon at his sister's forehead, little over a month ago." Jamie scoffed a little and shook her head at the thought. "She needed stitches for that. Couple weeks ago we caught him with his sister in a choke hold because he thought she took his video game."
Theo took a pause from notetaking and looked straight at the couple. "That must be really stressful with a new baby on the way.
Dani set a hand on her stomach and Jamie set a hand on her wife's knee. The two hadn't talked about it, but Dani had secretly worried about it for weeks now. She was too ashamed over the thought to confess it to Jamie, but now, seeing Jamie's reaction to the doctor's words she knew her wife was also plagued with the same worries. Dani looked at the psychologist. "He also got expelled from boarding school. He killed a bird."
That peaked the doctor's attention and she raised her eyes. "A bird?"
"There's a reason for that," Jamie quickly added. "He was trying to get expelled and nothing else was working."
"Why was he trying to get expelled?"
"He wanted to go home to his sister. They were all they had left at that point," Dani's voice trailed off. It pained her to think that there was a time where those two were so alone. Sure, Hannah, Owen, and Jamie were there and they were great, but it wasn't the same as a parental figure, really. Even an au pair wasn't the same.
"What do you mean by that? Were you two absent?" Theo asked.
"Oh," Jamie shook her head. "Sorry, I was just the gardener at the time and Dani wasn't hired on yet. She was their au pair."
This seemed to confuse the psychologist who stared at her paper for a moment, before slowly writing, crossing something off, and writing again. "Where are their birth parents?"
"Dead," Jamie said, matter of fact. "Died when they were six and eight, I think. That sounds about right. Really when all this started."
Dani shook her head, "No, I think it was before that. I don't know much, but Flora said the boy with no face was before her parents' passing."
"Really? Hmm." Jamie thought for a second. "Didn't know that, but I do remember Charlotte– their mum– saying she was having nightmares."
"So Flora has nightmares?" Theo asked.
"Oh, no," Dani said. "Not anymore than the rest of us do, really."
The doctor scratched her forehead and pushed her hair over her head, evidently confused. "Maybe you should just start from the beginning and tell me everything."
Jamie adjusted on her side of the couch to get comfortable. Once she was propped between the corner where the arm and the back of the couch met, she spoke. "Like I said, their parents, Dominic and Charlotte died a few years back. They were on holiday in India and there was an accident."
"Is that when you two got custody?" Theo asked.
"No, they went to their Uncle Henry," Dani said. "He was an alcoholic."
Jamie leaned forward a bit, "Not before Dominic and Charlotte died, though. He was different then. Around all the time, happy, still had a stick up his arse, but generally more fun. He was having an affair with Charlotte the whole time, but I think he really loved her. Probably why he got so fucked up after their passing. Lost the love of his life and his brother all in one."
"Flora is Henry's biological daughter. She doesn't know that, of course," Dani chimed in. "Anyway, he stopped coming around. It was Jamie, the chef, Owen, and the housekeeper, Hannah who were around every day. Henry also sent out his employee Peter every once in a while to check in."
Arms now crossed, Jamie scoffed. "Sorry excuse for a human being, that one." She shook her head. "Should never have been let around the kids. First day I met him, he grabbed my ass. I socked him right in the face."
"Yeah, he was a bad influence on the kids, but he did hire Rebecca, their first au pair."
"And Rebecca was a good influence?" Theo asked.
"Rebecca was a great person. Miles and Flora adored her. Another thing lost to Peter fuckin' Quint. That girl deserved so much better," Jamie said.
Dani leaned across the couch and slid her hand on top of Jamie's shoulder. "Don't curse," she whispered.
Theo looked over her notes for a moment. "I'm assuming they're no longer around since you were hired on as the au pair later."
A silence passed through the room. It was broken up with Jamie clearing her throat, but still no one spoke. The couple finally exchanged a glance and Jamie scratched the back of her head. "Come on, then. Let's get this over with." But the quiet took over for a little longer before Jamie continued. "Bly, the house where the kids and Dani lived, and where I worked, it was haunted. And not in the way where something touched your shoulder or things aren't where they were left. People died. All four of us almost died."
Dani's hand snuck across the couch and wrapped around Jamie's. "We know this probably sounds strange to you, but that's exactly why they need help. If this is too much for you, please tell us."
The doctor stared down at her notes for a moment and took a deep breath. "I won't lie to you, I don't know if I believe in ghosts or not. But, I do know fear and I do know trauma. That's what I treat, no matter what the story is behind it. So, if you feel comfortable, I would love to hear more about what happened at Bly."
The wives thought to themselves for a moment. Dani tried to decide how to understand Theo's response. At first glance, it concerned Dani that Theo wasn't outright supporting the narrative. Then again, she was skeptical but open. Perhaps it was better that she wasn't developing a narrative in her head at all– whether it was pro- or anti-ghost.
Dani chewed her lip for a moment, then decided it was best to keep pushing forward for now. "There were a lot of ones, but–," she started.
"What's 'one'?" Theo asked.
Dani paused, "Ghosts." The word struck her for a second. It felt so light hearted, almost comedic, to describe it as that. She was pretty sure the only time she had used that word to describe the creatures that lived amongst them at Bly was when she had told the whole story to Ellie. That was definitely a comedic retelling. This, though, was not a time for amusement. All of it was being laid out there for another person to assess. "There were a lot of ghosts, but the main one was the Lady in the Lake. She was the one you didn't want to cross paths with at night."
Jamie nodded, solemn. Her eyes glazed over as she stared into the distance, no doubt recalling the story. "She tried to kill us and she almost did every single time."
"She lived in the lake on the grounds and some nights she would walk out of the water and through the house. If someone was in her path, she would take them with her." Dani's hand absent-mindedly travelled to her neck and brushed over where the bruises had once been. "She grabbed them by the throat. Pulled them behind her as she walked until they died or they drowned."
"Got Peter Quint that way. Right in front of Miles and Flora," Jamie said. "The way they tell it, apparently the Lady disappeared with him and a minute later he returned. He tried to pick something up and his hand just floated right through it. They were talking to his ghost. And, because he's a shite human, he didn't waste any time possessing Miles."
"He was dating the other au pair, Rebecca, at the time and she eventually let him in. We don't know all the details, but when she was tucked away and he was in charge he drowned her in the lake so they could be together." Dani looked over at Jamie as she shared this part. It was only through fragmented memories Flora had collected from Rebecca that they knew this. In the last moments before Flora or Miles regained control, they would catch glimpses of Rebecca's or Peter's memories. The more time passed, the more comfortable they felt piecing these together to see the larger picture. It filled in a lot of gaps for Dani, who felt a deeper sense of closure each time they came to a collective conclusion about one part or another.
A single tear rolled down Jamie's cheek. "The next morning, I found Flora standing by the lake at seven A.M. and she was staring at something. When I looked, there was Rebecca's body. Floating. Upside down. Flora didn't move. She didn't cry. She was silent as she watched Rebecca's body."
"That must have been hard for the both of you," Theo said. Jamie sniffed away the oncoming tears and nodded.
"Six months later, Miles, possessed by Peter so he had no say, pushed the housekeeper, Hannah, down the well. Only, Hannah didn't exactly know she was dead and she still lived every day with us. None of us even knew. That's when I came on as the au pair. There was immediately something off with the kids. They just seemed like they had two different personalities. Now, knowing everything, I know it was because there were times when Rebecca or Peter were in charge and times when it was just the kids. Sometimes I would catch Flora staring over my shoulder and then she would nod like someone was talking to her. I saw Peter a few times, in windows or on parapets. At the very end, Rebecca was there, once, in Flora's room." Dani eyebrows pressed together and she focused on her hand as it rubbed her pregnant belly. "One day, both of them took over the kids and then tied me up in the attic. They had a plot to fully take over the kids' bodies, permanently, and then kill me. Flora untied me and we tried to run." Her voice tapered off and she again grabbed for her throat.
A silence took over the room again. Dani started to cry and Jamie rubbed her back. "She walked straight into the Lady in the Lake. Dragged her all the way up the stairs. The only reason she's alive is because Flora sacrificed herself for Dani just as she was about to pass out."
"What do you mean 'sacrificed'?" Theo asked. By now, her note page had been all but forgotten. Her attention was focused exclusively on the two women sitting in front of her.
Jamie looked at Dani, who just shook her head in the smallest way a person could while still getting the point across. "Flora pulled the Lady's attention and the Lady dropped Dani to pick Flora up. She carried Flora all the way back outside and into the lake. Dani chased them, barely able to breathe. I didn't get to see too much, but I could kind of see Rebecca talking to Flora as the Lady slowly carried her into the lake. Dani ran in after them. Just as the Lady was about to take Flora under, Dani said–."
"'It's you. It's me. It's us.'" Dani whispered it into the room. She sounded so far away, and she was. As Jamie told it, Dani could see every moment of it playing out again. She could feel her throat almost collapsing. Her heart beating fast. She could remember the way she didn't care if she lived or died as long as Flora made it out of the lake safe. When she whispered those words, when the Lady slowly turned around in the water, the weirdest feeling came over her. A coldness enveloped her, but not from the outside pushing against her skin. It started in her gut and rushed through every vein and nerve in her body. It settled in her heart. A sense of numbness passed over her, like she couldn't remember if she was alive or dead. Everything was foggy and she could barely hear Jamie's voice calling out to her, barely feel Jamie's forehead pressed against her. How badly Dani wanted to grab hold of Jamie and never let go, tell her never to leave. The words couldn't come out and her body couldn't move. She was stuck, feeling everything and nothing at the same time. "She moved into my body when I said it."
"Is she still there?" Theo found a way to get her out," Jamie said. Her eyes remained glued to her wife who was gone, off to another place. "Almost didn't, though. She tried to take Dani. Henry put the whole thing together and died so Dani could have a chance. And Flora, too. That's how the kids came to us. The day we almost lost Dani, the Lady in the Lake took full control and she was gone. Almost took me, too. Choked, just like she did to Peter Quint and to Dani. Flora, the angel she is, sacrificed herself again, thinking she would die just like the first time, so I could live. What she didn't realize was that she actually broke the curse by doing it. That's how we ended up here."
Theo dropped her notepad on the coffee table. She sat quietly for a moment. Dani's breath quickened. Every second that passed in silence felt longer as they waited to hear Theo's reaction to the retelling of their past. Finally, she talked. "That is so much trauma for anyone to hold. All four of you must really be hurting. I'm not going to lie, I've never treated people with a history like your family's. But, like I said, I have a lot of experience with trauma and I can tell that this is real for you. So, if you're willing to bear with me a bit to figure out the best course of treatment, I'm happy to work with your children."
"That would be great," Jamie whispered. Dani sat next to her, glossy eyes and shaky hands.
"Let's start with once a week for both of them. Depending on the intake, I might recommend that Miles come in twice a week. Sound good?" Theo asked.
Jamie nodded, but Dani was still frozen in place. She stood up and reached behind her. "Dani? Come on, baby."
Dani slowly reached her hand out into Jamie's and stood to her feet. She was quiet the whole walk to the car and for most of the drive. Jamie had taken the driver's seat since Dani was so out of it. The first sound she made was a cry of pain. A sharp ache shot through her stomach. She clutched it and leaned over her lap. She cried out again.
"You okay?" Jamie said.
"I don't know," Dani gasped. "It's the baby, I think."
Jamie swerved into the next lane over and made a quick turn. "We're going to the hospital."
Dani started to hyperventilate and she pushed her head into the headrest behind her. "Jamie, what's happening?"
"It's going to be okay," Jamie said. The words came out fast and she gripped the wheel so tight her knuckles turned white. "It's going to be okay. You're okay, alright? We'll be there soon."
After a minute, the waves of pain subsided to waves of cramps. By the time they walked into the ER, the frequency was lessening, but the anxiety was rising. The nurses rushed them into the back and Dani took a seat on the exam table. Jamie pulled a chair up beside her wife and took her hand. The theme of the day seemed to be silence and it took over the room once more.
It took an impossibly long time for the doctor to come into the room. The doctor was a tall, Black man who wheeled in an ultrasound machine with a comforting smile across his face. "Sorry it took so long. I'm Dr. Isaacs, the lead OB/GYN here today, so I rushed down as soon as I could. It sounds like you've been having some pain and cramping?"
"Yeah," Dani said. "It started off really sharp like a seven in pain then it went down to a four and was more like cramping. It's starting to go away."
"Well, that is certainly good news." He pulled out a gel and nodded for Dani to pull her shirt up. She slid it over her stomach and watched as he slathered it. "Let's see what we got here."
The ultrasound machine whirred on and he waved the wand across her skin. An image of the baby filled the screen and a second later, the sound of the heartbeat echoed through the room. Jamie and Dani both sighed at the exact same time.
"That's good, right?" Jamie asked.
Dr. Isaacs didn't respond just yet and kept staring at the screen. When he took the wand off of Dani's stomach he looked between the two women. "As of right now, everything looks fine. I am concerned about the pain. Did you do anything different today? Something that caused a lot of stress on the body?"
"Yeah, it's been," Dani nodded, "stressful. Today was hard."
He paused, almost waiting for more of an explanation, but continued when neither woman chimed in with more information. "That probably brought on the pain." He turned off the machine and started to wipe off the gel from Dani's stomach. "There's a possibility you're at risk for a placental abruption. Now, that doesn't usually happen until after the 20-week mark, so we won't know anything for another couple weeks and you won't be in the clear for another few months after that."
"What," Dani blinked back tears. "What does that mean?"
"It means the placenta tears from the uterine wall. Sometimes it's very minor. But, if it's more than a 50% tear, it can be life threatening to the baby and the mother." Dr. Isaacs paused and let the explanation sink in. Jamie's mouth hung open and she stared at her wife who was checked out, staring at the wall. "Again, we can't know anything now. It's entirely possible you will have a perfectly healthy pregnancy. You will need to schedule with your regular obstetrician. They know the specifics of your pregnancy and your health best so they might be able to give you a more concrete answer. In the meantime, you, Danielle, need to be on bedrest. That means no leaving the bed for anything other than the bathroom."
"We can do that," Jamie nodded. She looked at her wife. "Right? We can do bedrest."
Dani looked at the doctor, "We have an appointment on Friday." She looked down at her stomach. "We're supposed to learn the sex of the baby."
Dr. Isaacs looked straight into Dani's eyes until she finally met his gaze. "Your baby, right now, is strong and healthy. Only 1% of pregnancies include a placental abruption. Bedrest is just an extra, precautionary step." Dani looked away, but was calmer. "Want to know the sex of your baby now?"
The couple exchanged a look and knew they were on the same page right away. Jamie chuckled, "One of our older ones is convinced we're having a girl. She asks everyday if we know yet. So please, we beg of you, put us out of our misery."
"She must be very intuitive because she's right," Dr. Isaacs said. He picked up Dani's chart and said goodbye.
Jamie took a deep breath and let it out. Her hand squeezed Dani's. "It's going to be okay. I'll see if Ellie can help in the shop and maybe your mum can help with the kids for a bit."
"What about the next four and a half months?" Dani asked.
"We don't know it's going to be that long yet," Jamie said. She brushed her palm over the side of Dani's cheek until she looked at her. "One day at a time."
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