I'm sure, like a lot of you, I was shocked and devastated to hear about Naya, I know that seeing Santana struggle to find acceptance with her sexuality helped a lot of people become more comfortable with themselves, and I'm sure that for some people, seeing that representation was life changing. My heart goes out to her family, especially her son. And if anyone is struggling right now, know that its okay to grieve for a fictional character, or for a celebrity you didn't know personally, and if you want to talk, feel free to send me a PM.
"Y'know, I spoke to your Mom a while ago" Jimmy broke the awkward silence as he drove to the grocery store by the mall, "asked if she'd be okay with me offering to teach you to drive."
Rachel's head snapped up from where her gaze had been fixed on her lap, "you, you'd teach me?"
"Yeah" Jim nodded, "if you wanted to learn, probably not until after Amy has the baby though, I'm going to be back and forth for a while getting things set up at the new office, but once that's done, I'm going to be working from home three days a week so I'll have plenty of time."
"I, I think I'd like that" Rachel smiled shyly, she still had moments where she felt uncomfortable around her uncle, both Shelby and Amy had reassured her that that was okay, that the only men she'd been around in a long time had hurt her and it was okay if she didn't instinctively trust Jimmy. But she'd come to trust him a lot more whilst they'd been on vacation, he'd been calm and patient with her as he taught her to swim, and whenever he told her he'd do something, he did it, he never let her down. There was a brief pause before Rachel spoke again, "Mom thinks I might be ready to swim on my own."
Jim smiled, "Yeah? I think I'd agree with her."
"You would?" Rachel frowned, "why didn't you…?"
"Why didn't I tell you?" Jimmy finished her thought, "Why didn't I make you swim on your own?" Rachel nodded, "because I wanted you to do it when you were ready, if you needed a couple more days of swimming with my hands supporting you to build your confidence then that's what you need, you need to do it when you feel ready, not when I think you're ready."
"Maybe we could try tomorrow?"
Jimmy smiled as he pulled into the parking lot, "absolutely, and I'll still be right by your side, I'm not going to let anything happen to you." Rachel believed him, she'd panicked on her second day of learning to swim, she still didn't know why but she began to hyperventilate in the water, Jim however had kept calm, as he promised, he was right by her side and he'd wrapped his arms around her waist, holding onto her until he was able to coax her into straightening out her legs, not letting go until he was sure she was stood firmly on the bottom of the pool, and even then he'd kept a reassuring hand on her shoulder until he was sure she wasn't panicking any longer.
"I know" Rachel smiled shyly, "thank you."
Jimmy grabbed a cart as they headed into the store, noticing that it was busier than when the family had shopped together, and he also noticed how Rachel stepped closer to him when she saw how busy the store was. Jimmy didn't know if Rachel realised what she'd done but he decided to address it anyway, "if you want to go and sit in the car then you can do that at any time" he told her, "if you want me to walk you out, hell, if you want me to drive you back to the villa and come back alone, you just have to say okay?"
Rachel nodded, "thank you" she whispered, looking up at her uncle.
"Are you okay?" he asked when he saw her looking up at him.
"Yeah" Rachel whispered, "I erm…" she didn't know how to ask for what she wanted so, with a slight hesitation she reached out to hug Jimmy.
"Oh" Jim smiled as he returned the hug, not letting go until Rachel did. "Okay?" he asked, getting a nod in response, "let's get this done and get back then." As they began to walk through the store Jimmy told Rachel that she didn't need to ask, she could grab anything she wanted as they walked down the aisles. "Have you thought about what you want for dinner?" he asked as he picked up some more potato chips to satisfy Amy's craving for 'anything salty'.
Rachel shook her head, "I don't want to be any trouble."
"You're not being trouble" Jimmy reassured her, "Lily's like me, she'll try anything, Max is a bit picky about what he eats, and your Aunt is currently blaming the baby for everything she wants to eat, so making more than one meal isn't a big deal, I'd rather make extra and know everyone liked what they had."
"Okay" Rachel nodded, still not sure what she wanted to eat.
"We could get hot dogs and nachos" Jimmy suggested, wanting to give her some options, "like at the movies, or we could stick with the Italian theme and get pasta, or we could make tacos, you liked those didn't you? We could get some vegetables and cook the meat separately, make enough for everyone so we can all pick and choose."
Rachel nodded with a shy smile, "tacos sound good, could I maybe help you cook?" she asked nervously.
Jimmy couldn't hold back his smile, "sure you can. How about we get some different fruit juices too to make some of those alcohol free cocktails you were all drinking the other night?"
"Yeah" Rachel nodded again, "that sounds good."
"Here" Jim took his phone from his pocket, unlocking it and opening his browser, "why don't you look up some of those cocktails, so we can make sure we get the right things."
Rachel seemed surprised as they walked around the store, Jim seemed to know what Rachel liked and what she didn't, picking up snacks that he knew she liked and asking her if she wanted them before putting them in the cart. "How do you know what I like?" Rachel asked quietly.
"I've spent time with you, I've seen what you eat and what you don't. I'm not psychic or anything."
"My dads, they didn't, I don't know if they didn't know or if they just didn't care."
"You were too good for them" Jimmy told her, "those men aren't even good enough to be compared to the dirt on your shoe."
"I know you're not like them" Rachel told him, picking out some vegetables for dinner, "and I know I get scared sometimes, but it's like I'm scared of the memories in my head, not of you" Rachel knew the store wasn't really the best place for this conversation but at the same time, she didn't think she'd ever be able to find the confidence to tell him any other time.
"I understand" Jim nodded, "I'm sure she won't mind me telling you this, but after she was assaulted, Amy sometimes panicked when I touched her, sometimes even when I held her hand, and I knew it wasn't me she was scared of, it was him, and it took her a while to get over that, she had therapy and we, well, sometimes these things just take time. You know what Amy's like now, with time, you'll be able to deal with the feelings and the memories from your past and it won't be so painful for you."
Rachel nodded and smiled sadly, "I hope so."
Sensing that Rachel didn't want to talk any more, Jimmy changed the conversation, suggesting that the family spent the next day at the beach, talking about lighter subjects as they finished the shopping and paid for their groceries.
"There's something I want to talk to you about" Jimmy told Rachel once they were back in the car, "and I don't really know how to bring it up so, if it's okay with you, I'm just going to say it."
Rachel felt her heart begin to pound in her chest, she had no idea what her Uncle wanted to talk about and all she could do was nod nervously, "okay."
"You don't need to look so nervous" he chuckled, "I just, I know I haven't been around much, and I know that's going to change soon and I know you've been spending a lot of time with Amy, and I guess I just want you to know that that doesn't have to change just because I'm going to be home more."
"You'll want to spend time with your family" Rachel said quietly.
"You are my family Rach, and you're Amy's family. She wants you to feel as comfortable in our home as you do in your own, and that's okay with me, just because I'm going to be home a lot more, that doesn't mean you can't come round whenever you want. And if you want a ride over to our place, or if you want me to take the kids out so you can spend some time on your own with Amy then I'm okay with that."
Rachel helped carry the bags inside once they got back to the villa, smiling when she saw Shelby sat on the couch, braiding Lily's damp hair, Shelby and Lily both in their pyjamas. "Hey Baby" Shelby smiled as Lily greeted her cousin and her Daddy too.
"Hi" Rachel smiled, Shelby relieved to see Rachel didn't seem anxious or upset after her trip to the store with Jimmy.
"Why don't you leave those and go get a shower?" she asked, "Lily and I can put them away when we've finished her hair."
"Where's Amy?" Jim asked, dropping the car key onto the sideboard.
"In Max's room I think, getting everyone's blankets, he wants to make a blanket fort."
Almost right on cue Amy and Max came back into the room with arms full of pillows and blankets "Daddy" Max grinned, "you help me make a big den?"
"Sure" Jim nodded, "let me go have a quick shower and get changed and then I'll help, and you can eat dinner in the den."
Rachel meanwhile had made her way over to Shelby, getting a kiss on the cheek from her Momma, "okay?" Shelby asked softly.
"Okay" Rachel nodded.
"Good" Shelby smiled, "are you okay if I stay here while you shower or do you want me to wait in the bedroom?"
"I think I'll be okay" Rachel nodded, "but I'll shout if I need you?"
"Okay" Shelby smiled, "bring the hairdryer out if you want me to blow dry your hair when you're done, or I can braid it for you, whatever you want."
"Thank you" Rachel nodded, "and I can put my pyjamas on?"
"Absolutely" Shelby kissed Rachel's forehead, "go shower Baby, I'll be right here when you're done."
"Me too" Lily grinned, "Go Rachie, be quick, then we can play."
"Okay" Rachel laughed, "I'll be as quick as I can."
It didn't take Rachel long to shower and change into her pyjamas and she made her way into the living room with her hairbrush and a band so Shelby could braid her hair, noticing as she sat in the floor that her Mom had blow dried her hair straight but Amy had just pulled her damp, shoulder length curls up into a ponytail.
"Did you get lots of pizzas Daddy?" Max asked when Jim returned from his shower, dressed in shorts and a tshirt as he usually just slept in his underwear.
"I got two pizzas, and Rachel and I are going to make tacos too, and we got lots of snacks, so how about we make that fort and then we can eat dinner, watch a movie and have snacks.
"Okay Daddy" Max beamed, "can it be the biggest one in the world?"
Jimmy chuckled and ruffled Max's hair, "I don't think we've got enough blankets for that Buddy, but we'll make it as big as we can."
Once he'd built a blanket fort that met Lily and Max's approval, Jimmy made his way over to the kitchen, taking out the ingredients he'd need and asking Rachel if she still wanted to help. She was slightly nervous, but she nodded, since she'd been cooking with her Mom and Aunt, she'd realised just how much she enjoyed it and, although she was a little apprehensive about cooking with her Uncle, she'd never made tacos before and she wanted to give it a go.
Once Lily and Max realised Rachel was helping make dinner they decided they wanted to help too, so, as Rachel and Jimmy cooked, Shelby and Amy sat at the island with Lily and Max, helping them make cocktails for everyone.
As promised, Lily and Max were allowed to eat their pizza in the blanket fort, Rachel joining her Mom, Aunt and Uncle at the table as they ate. Everyone was sure to heap praise on Rachel as they ate, although she'd insist she'd only 'helped', they all knew that it had been Jimmy helping, talking Rachel through what she needed to do, allowing her to take the reins and learn hands on.
The fort was dismantled a little while after everyone had eaten, Amy explaining to Max that it would be late once they finished watching movies and everyone would need their covers back on their beds so they could sleep. Luckily Max understood and was only too happy to help his Mom carry everything back through to the bedrooms, Lily helping by carrying a pillow under each arm.
"Wait!" Lily held up her hand, stopping Jimmy as he was about to hit play on the movie, "I need to get Raffy" she told him.
"Raffy's her stuffed giraffe" Amy told Rachel as Lily ran off towards her bedroom, "she's had him since she was born."
Lily glanced at the couch when she came back with her giraffe. Everyone had cuddled together, Rachel sandwiched between Shelby and Amy, Max tucked into the small gap between his parents, but Lily didn't hesitate before walking over to Rachel and making herself comfy on her cousin's lap.
Lily stayed settled on Rachel's lap until they were twenty minutes into their second film of the evening when she shifted, settling herself in the same position she'd fallen asleep in that afternoon, "are you okay with her like that?" Amy asked Rachel, gently stroking Lily's cheek and smiling softly at her daughter.
"Yeah" Rachel nodded, "I'm fine."
"Okay" Amy smiled, "let me know if you change your mind and want me to take her."
Rachel found herself absentmindedly stroking Lily's back and it didn't take long at all for the young girl to fall asleep against her, Rachel kissing her hair when she realised she was sleeping, not noticing Amy smiling at the interaction between the pair.
By the time the movie finished, Rachel had her head on Shelby's shoulder and Amy's fingers were linked with her own, "I think it's bedtime Buddy" Jimmy told Max as the boy let out a loud yawn.
"Daddy…"
"It's already past your bedtime Bud, Lily's been asleep for a while but we let you watch the rest of the movie, so it's time for you to go to bed now."
Max sat forward slightly, seeing that his Dad wasn't lying, Lily was sleeping on Rachel's lap, "okay" he didn't argue, "night Aunt Lelly, night Rachel" he smiled, "see you in the morning".
"Do you need me to get Lil?" Jim asked Amy, when he was home they took it in turns to put the kids to bed and tonight it was Jimmy's turn to put Max to bed whilst Amy tucked in their daughter.
Amy shook her head and pecked Jimmy's lips, "I can get her."
Rachel and Shelby said goodnight to Max before Rachel looked up at her Aunt, "I can carry her through if you want?"
"Are you sure?" Amy asked, getting a nod in response as Rachel stood to her feet, Lily still against her chest.
"Wha…" Lily's eyes fluttered open as she was moved.
"It's bedtime Lil" Amy said softly, "Rachel's going to carry you through to bed."
"Kay" Lily mumbled, dropping her head to Rachel's shoulder as she closed her eyes again.
"Can you do something for me?" Amy asked, tucking Lily in once Rachel had laid her on the bed.
Rachel nodded, "anything." It was true, she'd do anything for her Aunt.
"On your way back to your Mom, just poke your head in next door and say goodnight to Max again, it would really mean a lot to him."
"Okay" Rachel nodded, doing as Amy asked, finding Max just getting into bed.
He grinned happily when he saw Rachel in the doorway "Rachel!"
"I just wanted to say goodnight" she told him with a smile.
"Will you read me a story?" he asked before looking up at Jimmy, "can she Daddy? Can Rachel read my story?"
Jimmy nodded, "if it's okay with Rachel then it's okay with me."
"Will you Rachel? Please?"
Rachel couldn't turn the boy down so she nodded, "sure."
"I'll say goodnight then" Jimmy ruffled Max's curls, "sweet dreams Buddy, see you in the morning, I love you." Max wrapped his arms around his Daddy, hugging him tightly as he told him he loved him too. "Amy will be in soon to say goodnight to him, but if you need anything in the meantime just shout" he told Rachel, making sure Max had his stuffed dinosaur before saying goodnight again and leaving the room.
When Amy came in to say goodnight to her son she found Rachel laid on the bed beside him, the two talking quietly about one of the pictures in the book Max had chosen before Max turned the page and Rachel read the next part of the story. She didn't want to interrupt so she stood in the doorway watching for a moment before moving to sit on the end of Max's bed. "G'night" Max yawned when Rachel had finished the story, "I love you Rachel."
Amy saw Rachel's face light up, the teen unable to hold back her smile as she stood from the bed, "I love you too Max, sweet dreams."