Welcome back! I hope everyone's doing okay after that WandaVision episode ;~; Like always, no spoilers in the comments please! We left off with Peter and (mostly) Tony's great idea to pay JJ a visit! This is a fun one for sure
TW/ mild panic attack / anxiety
Have fun and stay safe ❤️️ 💛💚💙💜
Chapter Nineteen: "A" for Effort
Peter sits on the top of the Daily Bugle sign, on the "G" in particular, with his mask pulled above his nose.
"I can't believe you actually got free tacos," MJ says in disbelief as she sits at her computer. Her chin rests in her hand and curly bangs cover her right eye.
"And it's not even Taco Tuesday!" Ned exclaims from his usual bean bag chair. Peter lightly kicks his legs back and forth and happily munches on his taco.
"All I did was help the guy put in his new windows. It was nice dealing with glass that wasn't shattered." He enjoys the view of his hometown, basking in the warmth of his brand new suit heater and watching the snow pile below. Who knew a lack of hypothermia could make all the difference in the world.
"Are you ready to have your ears screamed off?" MJ has a slight smirk to her lips. She knows this is going to go downhill, but wonders how exactly it'll crash and burn. It's not that she doesn't believe in Peter's ability to smooth talk, he's proven that many times, but Jameson is the definition of a ticking time bomb.
"I give it two words before he starts screaming at you," Ned immediately hops on board. He knows exactly what MJ's train of thought is.
"Or! Or, he has a change of heart and he's really nice out of nowhere," Peter provides instead.
"Yeah, not gonna happen dude," Ned declines.
"Mhm," MJ hums in agreement. Peter deflates and takes another bite of his taco.
"At least my last meal is tacos," he grumbles, albeit optimistically. "You found stuff on Dr. Stillwell though, right?" Maybe he's changing the subject in vain, but if anything he can use his taco as an excuse to wait.
"Yep," MJ affirms, "nothing that great. He was just some biologist for hire. Unemployed, graduated from Barnard College, middle of his class. Nothing interesting." Boredom seeps into her voice. So much for a lead, but at least they're knocking possibilities off the list. Ned decides to chime in with,
"He has a brother who's sciency too, but he's out of the area." His additional information helps to limit their suspects. If they can't figure out what Dr. Stillwell did, then their only option is to use Jameson for information. Peter…isn't exactly thrilled.
"Wait, he's a biologist for hire?" he clarifies. "What kind of job is that?"
"You're off topic, Parker," MJ stops that line of thought before Ned can continue it. "What we really need to know is who hired him. That's the person who started all this. Probably an idiot." Ned shrugs his shoulders as he types away at his keyboard.
"Sorry, but I don't think criminals leave behind trails…" he trails off and the sounds of clicking stop. "Do they? They don't have job receipts, right? I've never been a criminal so, like, I don't know how they do things." MJ snorts a laugh, then promptly presses her lips together.
"You'd make a great criminal, man," Peter banters instead with a smile.
"Awe, thanks! I'd come up with the villain names." Ned nods proudly to himself before getting back to work. Peter knows that this is his cue to head inside the building, but he isn't quite mentally prepared to be screamed at.
"Hey, Karen, is there anything else that needs to be done on patrol before we see JJ?" he tries hopefully instead, but he's instantly called out.
"You're stalling, Peter," Karen replies, her tone amused. Peter's cheeks flush pink and he sticks out his lower lip.
"Am not!"
"Are too," all three of them counter simultaneously. Peter goes to disagree, but can't come up with a good argument.
"Okay, yeah, I'm stalling," he relents. "But you would too if you had to talk to him! He's not nice!" Despite not wanting to, he steps off the sign and onto the windows to start walking. Up the building. At a ninety degree angle. Casually because, you know, he's Spider-Man.
"I thought you were a brave superhero," MJ smugly chastises.
"We should call Mr. Stark! Yeah! That's a thing we should do. He wanted to be, uh, here. Karen?" Peter asks hopefully. He's mostly trying to avoid admitting that he'd rather face Scorpion for a grand total of three times as opposed to seeing Jameson twice.
"On it," Karen happily complies before Tony's contact pops on screen. Ned practically squeals in excitement.
"I can't believe I get to talk to Tony! Again!" he shouts enthusiastically.
"Ned you talked to him, like, three days ago," Peter reminds as he peers into each window he passes.
"Yeah, let's call Stark. I have some new questions to ask him anyways," MJ nonchalantly chimes in, causing Peter's lenses to be blown wide.
"No no! Karen! Cancel call! Hang up! Don't-"
"You better be trying to hang up on someone who isn't me," Tony's skeptical voice comes through the suit. Peter laughs nervously and crouches beside Jameson's office window.
"Oh, no, of course, Mr. Stark!" he assures while chuckling and stumbling over his words. "I'd never do that to you…twice." Maybe I should've just stopped while I was ahead. Of course, Tony can see right through Peter's cover up but doesn't comment on it.
"Hi, sir! Welcome back to Team Spidey!" Ned jumps in with his usual excitement. "We can totally make you a permanent member if you want! We can make, like, badges and everything." Right about now, Peter is facepalming out of secondhand embarrassment. Tony, on the other hand, is much more amused.
"Oh yeah?" he encourages with a hint of a smile.
"Long time no talk, Stark," MJ hops into the conversation before Ned can continue with his tangent. Thank god, Peter thinks, what would I do without MJ to keep us on tra- "I was wondering about your thoughts on how New York doesn't have enough pollen-bearing flowers to sustain the declining number of honey bees." And so much for that. His head drops in defeat and he decides to wait out the inevitable questioning. Tony crosses his arms, considering his response.
"We should have more of those plants, then. Honey bees are the most prevalent pollinators and an essential part of the ecosystem. So I'd say I'm pretty invested in the topic." Turns out, Peter doesn't have the time or mental capacity to sit through this interrogation.
"Guys, can the bees wait until after we deal with Mr. Jameson?" he interjects, hoping MJ will let this go for the time being. Unfortunately, no one ever seems to be there to answer his hopes.
"I don't know, Parker. Can the bees wait?" MJ throws the question right back at him. It's a good thing Peter's mask is on, otherwise he'd be pulling out his hair.
"Peter's right," Ned comes to his rescue. "We should probably start before someone thinks Spider-Man's stalking The Daily Bugle." That definitely wouldn't push Peter's publicity in the right direction, so they get down to business.
"Got a plan, Underoos?" Tony casually gets them on topic. Peter realizes that's a common theme lately: whether or not he has any clue what he's going to do.
"Ask him nicely to give us some information?" His voice gets higher with uncertainty as he proposes his half-serious version of a plan. Tony blinks.
"Are you being serious?" he asks since he honestly can't tell. Peter clears his throat.
"And say please?" He can all but see the annoyance that he knows MJ has at his poor attempt at humor. Thankfully, Ned laughs which makes all the difference in the world.
"Let's take this step-by-step," Tony says with a surprising amount of patience. "Use logic. Explain the situation to get him to understand. In simple terms, if you have to. Use big, fancy words to make it sound more credible. Oh, and make it seem pertinent. 'We have twenty-four hours,' kind of thing. Standard superhero stakes. Don't let him talk over you. You got this, kiddo." Peter smiles, some of the pressure being lifted from his shoulders, and nods to himself.
"Thanks for the pep talk, Mr. Stark." He takes a deep breath. "Okay, let's do this." With that, he silently opens the window and climbs inside. Jameson is sitting at his desk that faces away from the window Peter crawled in, but that still leaves the window facing the editorial room. Conveniently for Peter, the window has a layer of blinds that can easily be shut. But first… How am I supposed to stand? Like, should be casual? He stands in the corner with his arms crossed. No, that feels weird. I'm not guarded, I'm open. He then puts his hands on his hips. Now I just feel stupid. I'm not Superman. Last time I worried about this I got blown up with alien technology…
"Peter," MJ snaps him out of it, her voice hushed despite being over the comms, "are you going to do this today? Or should we come back tomorrow?" She makes a good point, yet Peter's shoulders lower along with his pride. So much for a cool pose. Instead of dwelling on it, he webs the blinds shut to keep people from looking in. Jameson immediately jumps in his chair at the sound, throws down the newspaper in his hands, and whips around at lightning speed. When he sees Spider-Man, the cigar in between his teeth drops to the floor.
"I told you I'd call the cops if you ever step foot in my building again!" he shouts with an accusatory finger pointed at the hero.
"I know!" Peter quickly says, his hands already raised in surrender. "I know, but you have to-"
"I don't have to do anything!" Jameson wastes no time in tearing into him. "You're screwin' up the natural order of things! Stealing jobs! Destroying the city! You've done nothing but cause more problems!" Peter tries to find his voice but too many thoughts swarm through his head at once. He needs to defend himself but this isn't about him, it's about saving people before Scorpion can attack again. Jameson continues to yell, but
"Don't let him control the conversation," Tony calmly reminds him even though he's about ready to fly over and punch this guy into next week.
"You can do it, man," Ned joins in. "Show him who's boss!"
"Panicking doesn't help…" MJ tries, then huffs in irritation at her realistic tendencies. "But if anyone can do this, it's you," she adds. Peter bites the inside of his cheek, takes a soothing breath, and takes charge.
"Jameson sir," he interrupts Jameson's ranting. He puts more bravado behind his voice so he can't be recognized as Peter Parker. "You can say whatever you want about me, but lives are at stake and if we don't do something soon, a lot of innocent people could get hurt. I know you have some kind of history with Scorpion and I need to know what happened. Just help me understand what happened and then maybe I can figure out where he's gonna be next. Please, this is really important." It's the best option he has; to appeal to what he assumes is Jameson's humanity. This might be the only viable approach. It has to work. The gaze of his mechanical eyes remains unwavering.
"If you can do your job so much better than the law-abiding professionals of this city, then you wouldn't need my help." Jameson accuses instead. Peter deflates ever so slightly as the man's eyes narrow in annoyance. "I'm not about to give someone like you any kind of advantage!"
"You don't have to like me but-"
"I can't stand so-called heroes like you!" he screams. Well, now Peter is pretty positive that everyone within a twelve mile radius heard them. "Why the mask? People like you always hide behind a mask and a fake name! You never take any responsibility! How are we supposed to trust that?! What've you got to hide?!" Peter stares in shock, frozen by his harsh words.
"Pete, shrug it off. You know he's wrong," Tony quickly reassures with a tight voice. But the damage is done.
"I…" Peter starts…but can't finish. I have a mask because I don't want the people I love getting hurt. Because I can't let Uncle Ben happen again. People don't know that, though. Do people really think I'm hiding? Not taking responsibility?
"Spit it out, I don't have all day for a menace like you," Jameson bitterly says when Peter trails off. "That's why the Accords exist! Social rejects like you always think you're above the law until someone ends up like Anna Bennett!" Before it was only disdain in his voice, but now it's loathing. Like it's personal. Peter's heart feels like it stops. He can't look away. Doesn't dare to breath. His muscles shake. Jameson slams his hand down on the desk, instantly making Peter flinch. "Did you know her name? That she had a husband?! Kids?! Or did you pretend to care?!" Anna Bennett. Elijah and Isaac's mom. Of course I care. I went and saw them afterwards. I did everything I could. I'm just one person. Peter thinks it all, but can't find his voice to say it.
Ned and MJ look on in horror. MJ's mouth is covered with her hand and she wouldn't dare admit that her eyes are glistening with tears of rage. Ned can barely breathe better than Peter, his eyes glued to the screen. However, Tony is able to get his anger under control first.
"Get out of there. Now," he almost desperately tries to order. When Peter is still fixed in place, he repeats louder, "Kid, you have to go." He gets the suit ready in the background in case he needs to get Peter out of there. Then, Peter hears footsteps. As soon as the office door flies open, he's already jumping out the window he came in. His heart pounds as he swings away as fast as he can from his utter failure. He knows this feeling and he tries to keep his breathing even as the pins and needles engulf his hands.
"Peter, are you okay?" Ned checks in. They all know what comes after the ragged breathing, especially when Peter is dead silent.
"Talk to us, bud," Tony tries as his eyes frantically scan the kid's unstable vitals. "Karen, implement the new protocol." His own heart thuds against his chest as he resists his instinct to fly over there. They don't need to get Spider-Man any more bad publicity and he can't keep coddling the kid.
"Peter?" MJ speaks up with a surprising amount of hope in her voice. All Peter can focus on at the moment is his breathing. He lands on a fire escape and stumbles away from the nearby sidewalk to remain unseen. Leaning against the metal railing, he closes his eyes and concentrates on breathing slower.
"Peter, can you hear me?" Karen's gentle tone gives him something to focus on. He nods, and she continues. "I'd like you to breathe in through your nose, then out through your nose for me. Can you do that?" Once again he nods and does as she says. He pushes the negative thoughts away even as his toes curl under. It was a good idea to add a protocol to talk him through a panic attack, but he didn't think he'd be needing it this soon. He didn't think he'd be needing it at all. It's been months. Luckily, this one doesn't seem too bad at the moment. "Very good. You're here. Nothing can hurt you. What happened wasn't your fault. You're a good person who always does their best, I've seen it." As she speaks Peter takes her words to heart and tries to calm down before the attack can escalate. She's right, it wasn't your fault. You stopped Mysterio, saved Isaac, helped Elijah. You're okay. It's okay. Everything's okay.
"Do you need anything?" Tony hesitantly asks, but Peter shakes his head.
"No, it's okay. Everything's fine. I just, I just need to, y'know, relax. Calm down. Shit." He trips over his words and lowers himself to his knees to rest his shaking legs. "It'll pass, right? It's gotta pass. I've had worse. This one isn't bad," he comforts himself. His trembling voice pushes Tony over the edge. Screw this.
"I'm on my way." In that exact moment, the suit constructs itself around him and he rockets off.
"No, no, it's fine. We got this, right Karen?" Peter says with a shaky smile.
"Exactly," Karen doesn't hesitate to affirm. "Your vitals are stabilizing. You're doing a wonderful job. I'm proud of you." Her honest tone slowly consoles him, yet he still hears the repulsors fire up.
"Yeah, well, I'm not fine. It's for my own sanity," Tony counters truthfully. Even in the suit, his muscles are tense. Peter can't argue with that. In actuality, he wouldn't mind someone there with him. Going through these without May is already hard enough, but doing it without someone next to him is even more difficult. He squeezes his eyes shut, his eyebrows drawn together, and holds his arms close to his chest. As long as he doesn't let his mind wander, he's okay.
"Thanks, Karen." He smiles genuinely, not knowing what he would do without her. What he would do without any of them. It's not long after that Tony lands with a metallic clang and hastily steps out of the suit to dash over to the kid. Peter allows Tony to help him up and is careful with his grip. He takes another steadying breath as he lets Tony look him up and down.
"How you doing, kid?" he carefully inquires, somehow trying to look through the lenses of the suit. Peter nods a few times.
"Been both better and worse," he honestly replies. Unexpectedly, Tony gently pulls him into a relaxed, much-needed hug. The action makes the back of his throat ache and the fatigue seep into his bones. He lets his muscles relax and stress-filled tears leak from his eyes as he hides his face in Tony's shoulder. "I tried, Mr. Stark," he whispers in between breaths. "I tried to do the right thing and, and it blew up in my face." He's just frustrated and disappointed and exhausted. Most of the time he loves being Spider-Man, but other times it wears him down. It's tough.
"Sometimes things don't go the way we want, and it sucks. I know how you feel. You can't control other people, right?" Peter sniffs and nods his head. "Right. And when people get scared, they do dumb shit. Your number one fan is a great example of that. All we can do is remind ourselves that those people are wrong. Forget the rest, move onto the next, kid. Think of all the good people who look up to you." Tony rests his chin on the teen's masked head and sighs. "I'd take it away if I could," he quietly adds, referring to the heartache.
"I wouldn't let you," Peter mumbles into his t-shirt. "But thanks. It means a lot." He lets go, glad he has the mask to hide his inevitably red eyes. With a chuckle, he also says, "Your hugs have gotten better." Tony clears his throat and shoves his hands in his pockets to appear nonchalant.
"Well, you seem to like them. So. Figured they were worth getting good at." He sniffs casually, rocking on his heels. Peter can't help but smile and think back to the first hug he accidentally gave his mentor.
"How are you feeling?" MJ asks with a tad of worry to her voice. She ignores her damp cheeks, hoping she never has to see Peter like that again.
"Tired," Peter responds, "but better. I'm okay, I promise." He knows how much she hides her concern, so for her to show it means she must have really been worried.
"Do you want us to come over?" Ned offers with utmost kindness as always. Unfortunately, Peter has to shake his head.
"It's okay, man. It's the first Hanukkah night with May so she wants to spend it together. But she wants us all to go shopping, if you wanna come over tomorrow," he offers alternatively as he shifts from foot to foot.
"For sure!" Ned is the first to happily confirm. MJ smiles minutely.
"That would be a nice change of pace," she also agrees. Peter breathes easier knowing he'll actually get to see his best friends tomorrow in person.
"Sweet, I'll see you guys then." There's a bit more liveliness to his tone already, relieving both of his friends. Karen practically reads his thoughts and ends the three-way call. This leaves Tony and Peter by themselves, still on a nonconsequential fire escape. Peter would give just about anything to be able to rip off his mask right now.
"C'mon, I'll fly you home," Tony suggests, though it comes across as more of an inevitability. No matter what Peter says, he knows Tony will be there regardless.
"Wow, an escort? Just for me? You shouldn't have," he quips back, prepping his web shooters. Tony chuckles and pats the kid proudly on the back.
"There's that Spidey humor," he commends. Peter laughs along with him and somehow he's able to breathe easier. Their plan didn't go the way they wanted, but he tried his best and they'll figure something else out. Somehow. He just doesn't like the uncertainty of it. But he knows he has an amazing support system to pick him up, just like they did today, and an incredible aunt waiting for him at home.
Okay, we ACTUALLY get to make JJ progress next week, promise :)
Thank you for reading! ❤️️ 💛💚💙💜
If you'd like to keep up to date on upcoming fics and get sneak peeks, feel free to follow one of my accounts!
Instagram: kevy_fanfics
Tumblr: kevyfanfics
Twitter: Kevy_Fanfics