Another long one! I know the chapter lengths vary heavily, but I end them based on where I think they need to for timeline/drama purposes, in order to fit the story.
I've loved reading your reviews, and I thank you for your continued support on this story. Here in the UK we are one week into a second Lockdown, so it's great to have a form of escapism and to have something that keeps me occupied.
Arf128 I love your suggestion about Dani confronting Brittany, definitely something I'll take on board and see if I can weave in, for now I hope you'll enjoy Dani confronting Santana
Enjoy!
As Monday rolled around, with Mila in pre-school and Santana back at work, Brittany decided it was time to emerge from her bubble and face reality with Denver. She had arranged with Chris, the show director for Aladdin, that she would need another week off work, but that they would touch base from there. She was just glad he was so understanding, a perk of her being high up and well respected in her dance career, alongside his empathy from being in the situation himself. She of course hadn't told him about her pondering about leaving New York for good, because she still had the decision to make. She hoped the conversation with Denver would help her reach a decision, so on the Monday she unblocked his number to send a message.
We need to talk about everything. I'm in Lima, staying at Santana's for the time being. Is there any way you can get here this weekend? I'd rather do this in person.
Denver's reply was instant, a simple;
I'll be there X
Brittany sighed and tossed her phone aside so she wouldn't have to look at the inevitable pleading texts from Denver that were about to come her way. It was obvious he wasn't going to let her go without a fight.
As the week continued, fifth week of pregnancy hit Brittany like a ton of bricks. On the first morning she had dashed to the bathroom before it was even light outside, and vomited so violently, she almost thought she was going to throw up the baby. As she whimpered, feeling sorry for herself, she felt a comforting hand rub her back. The other hand made its way to her hair, scooping it out of the way.
"I'm here Britty" Santana said softly, placing a chaste kiss against the back of her neck. She had been lucky enough to not suffer with much morning sickness, but seeing Brittany struggling made her wish she could just take it from her. She never did well with seeing the blonde upset, unwell or in pain.
Come Friday, Brittany was feeling pretty fed up, as she emerged from the bathroom again after a rough morning. She entered Santana's bedroom with a groan, as Santana sat at the dressing table, applying her makeup for work.
"Oh Brit, is there anything I can do for you?" Santana pouted sympathetically, as Brittany flopped back on the bed.
"I don't think there's much you can do" Brittany sighed "Just gotta ride it out I guess"
Santana walked over to the bed to lightly stroke Brittany's forehead
"Maybe I should stay home from work today and look after you. You've been like this all week, and I hate the thought of leaving you here alone sick"
"I'm not sick San, I'm pregnant" Brittany replied, forcing a smile to let the worried Latina know she was okay "You can't stay home just to look after me, I could be like this for weeks"
Santana stared at Brittany, unsure.
"I guess so…but if you are feeling really bad, will you promise to go over to your mom's house so she can look after you?"
"Yes, I can do that" Brittany replied, trying her best to ease Santana's concerns.
Santana was still apprehensive, but she let up, knowing that Brittany would at least stick to her promise. She heard the sound of little footsteps running into the room, and she wondered why Mila was up 10 minutes before she needed to be up for school. The little girl had concern etched all over her face, as she looked up at Santana.
"Aunty Brit-Brit was sick again?" she asked tentatively
Every morning Mila had heard Brittany throwing up, and she was starting to ask questions about it. She had inherited her mother's trait for worrying, and Santana and Brittany were beginning to think they'd have to tell her about the pregnancy, to stop her mind running away with itself. They would have liked to have waited until after the first trimester, when the pregnancy carried less risks, but they weren't sure how long they could carry on deceiving Mila, when she was so anxious about everything.
"Yes sweetheart, but don't worry" Santana soothed "Look, she's fine" she added, gesturing behind her towards the bed. The little girl ran towards the bed to see for herself.
"Yes, don't worry about me Moo. Just a funny tummy from something I ate, I think. Maybe it was too much ice-cream"
Mila looked at Brittany, unconvinced, so Brittany decided to change the subject.
"Are you all ready for school little one?"
"Yes, we are learning all about American landmarks today" Mila chimed excitedly, Brittany's trick had worked "Mami is letting me take in a photo of us with the Statue of Liberty"
"That's great Moo. It looks like you're in for a fun day!" Brittany smiled widely. As nauseous as she felt, the little girl was the best medicine.
"Sweetie, why don't you go downstairs, and I'll be down in a moment to get you some breakfast? We can come back up to give Aunty Brit-Brit a kiss goodbye before you leave for school"
"Okay Mama" said Mila, skipping off, anxiety seemingly forgotten for now. When she was sure Mila was gone, Santana sat down on the edge of the bed with a sigh.
"She knows something's up, doesn't she?"
"That's because she's a smart kid, like you" Brittany smiled "maybe we should tell her San? I don't want her worrying herself over this" she added, on a more serious note.
"Yeah I agree, I think we should" said Santana "we can tell her tonight after school?"
"Good idea" Brittany replied.
"I should go get her breakfast ready before we're late" said Santana, standing up off the bed "Do you need me to bring you anything up?"
"I'm good for now. I don't think I can stomach anything" Brittany cringed, before noting Santana's concerned expression "but I promise I'll eat something as soon as I do, and I'll make sure it's nutritious" she laughed, knowing that would be the next point Santana made.
"Okay, well we'll come up and say bye before we leave, but until then" Santana leaned down so she was addressing Brittany's non-existent baby bump "Little Poppy it's your Auntie Santana here, please can you be extra good for your Mommy today and look after her for me?"
Brittany chuckled as she watched Santana lean her ear down, as if she was actually having a conversation with the baby, that only she understood.
"Okay, that's good Little Poppy, that's exactly what I want to hear. I love you, and I love your Mommy too, but now I need to leave and take your cousin Mila to school. Once she finds out all about you later, she's going to be so excited"
"What did Little Poppy say today?" Brittany asked with a laugh, she was really enjoying this new thing Santana had been doing speaking to the baby, she found it extra adorable.
"Brit you know I can't tell you that. My conversations with Little Poppy are top secret. Isn't that right Little Poppy?"
"You know by now, they're actually the size of an apple seed, so maybe we should start calling them Little Apple instead" Brittany teased
"Hmmmm…doesn't quite have the same ring to it" Santana laughed
"No you're right. Little Poppy is the one. And when they're eighteen, we'll probably still give them that nickname, and they'll be all embarrassed. But we can tell them how it's because they were only the size of a poppy seed, when we found out about them" Brittany mused wistfully, thinking about the future. She may not have planned to be in the situation she was in, but she was excited for what lay ahead of her.
Later that night after they'd had dinner and cleaned up, they sat Mila down to tell her about the baby.
"So, you know how Aunty Brit-Brit has been throwing up sometimes?" Santana began, to which Mila nodded, concern etching her face again
"Well…it's because...there is a baby inside her belly. Aunty Brit-Brit is going to have a baby!"
"You're going to be a big cousin Mila Moo!" Brittany exclaimed
Sure enough, the concern on Mila's face turned to excitement.
"A baby! Wow Aunty Brit-Brit, that's the best news ever!" Mila exclaimed, jumping up and down excitedly "She's going to be my best friend"
"Well we don't know if it's a boy or a girl yet Meels" Santana laughed, earning a confident look from Mila.
"It will be a girl!" before she turned to Brittany "how long until I can see them Aunty Brit-Brit?"
"Well there's quite a long time to go yet. First, we have summer, then you are starting Kindergarten, then we have Halloween and Thanksgiving and Christmas. Then a little before you turn 6, this little one will be ready to come out and meet you" Brittany explained, patting her belly lightly.
"And is Uncle Den the daddy?" Mila asked curiously. Denver had always hated being referred to as 'Uncle Den', claiming it made him feel old, but Mila insisted anyway.
"He is sweetheart yes but, I'm not so sure Uncle Den is going to be my boyfriend anymore" said Brittany gently, deciding it was best to be honest with her.
"That's okay. There are lots of children in my class who have mommy's and daddy's like that" Mila said matter-of-factly, referring to the children she knew who had divorced/separated parents "or there are some who have a daddy and a daddy, or some who have just a mommy, like me" Mila smiled
"That's right Moo" Santana said, ruffling her daughter's hair proudly. She felt her eyes tear up at Mila's wise words. In times like this, she just felt so blessed to be the little girls' mom.
"Thank you Aunty Brit-Brit, this is the best surprise ever!" Mila said, hugging Brittany's legs tightly and squeezing her eyes shut, much to the adoration of Brittany and Santana.
"I'm glad your super excited Mila Moo. I need my best big helper when the baby is here" said Brittany.
The little girl smiled, before turning to address Santana.
"Mama, do you think you will have another baby some day? So that I can be a big sister?" she asked hopefully.
Santana looked down, unsure how to answer the question that she wasn't expecting. Truthfully, she had always wanted more children, she had always pictured three in her head. But she hadn't really thought of it in depth. She had enough on her hands with Mila, and for years she hadn't even found the right person to have another child with. Now she was with Dani, maybe it was something she could properly think about, although she and Dani had never discussed kids. It was way too early for that, and she didn't even know what Dani's stance on having children was.
"Maybe one day amorcita" Santana smiled "but for now, you will have lots to keep you busy being a special big cousin!"
The next morning, Brittany and Santana had come to the park with Mila, in a bid to take Brittany's mind off things as she had her meeting with Denver later. It would also be good for Mila to burn off some energy, as since finding out about Brittany having a baby, she was bouncing off the walls. She had been told this was a big secret, and not to tell anyone for the time being, so she was showing off her excitement by jumping around lots instead. They had also met up with Quinn, who Brittany had met through Santana on a few occasions. She liked Quinn, and she was glad that Santana had another gal pal that she could rely on here in Lima.
"Slow down Moo!" Santana called, as Mila ran through the park excitedly, her little legs running through the grass.
She was dressed pretty as a picture today, in her little summer dress and sandals. Santana had put her hair in two bunches, platting the ends, but as she headed over to the trees, Santana cursed herself for dressing her in white. Mila was stereotypically girly in many ways. She loved pink, loved stealing Santana's lipsticks and adored ballet and flittering about in tutus. But she also had a tomboy side, and she was always coming home with scrapes on her knees.
It reminded Santana a lot of herself when she was young, and she remembered how she had been such a tomboy, that her Abuela had put her into ballet classes in an attempt to 'make her more like other little girls'. Santana never really stuck them out, or took to dance as much as Mila did though. She still loved her Abuela, but her resistance to change made her sad. Now she was a mother herself, she couldn't help but think a lot of her methods were harsh. With Mila, she would never do anything to try and get her to change who she was. Whether Mila was leaping around in a tutu, or scrambling up trees, Santana always made sure Mila knew it was fine to be who she was. It sometimes made her wonder if her Abuela's strict values, had a subconscious effect on her realising her sexuality so late, on realising she could be a 'different type of normal'.
She saw a lot of herself in Mila looks wise too. As everybody always told her, Mila was just a mini her. She didn't see much of Puck in her at all, she had Santana's skin tone, her dark hair, her deep brown eyes and smile. She was a little on the small side for her age, which Santana guessed had also come from herself. The only place she could see Puck, was perhaps in her eye shape. She thought when Mila was a baby, that she might have had Puck's mouth, but as she had grown, she realised nope that's definitely my pout.
She didn't see much of Puck in her personality either, but that made sense since he had never been in her life. She instead saw elements of the people around her, who had always been in Mila's life. A lot of her own personality traits were of course moulded into her daughter, but she also noticed her mother's gentleness, her father's wisdom, Pablo's humour, Quinn's inquisitive mind. And of course, lashings and lashings of Brittany. Her love for dance, her kindness, her innocence.
She smiled she watched Mila climb onto the low branch of the tree.
"Aunty Brit! Come see this!" Mila yelled, excitedly beckoning the blonde over.
"They're so cute together" Quinn said, as her and Santana watched Mila enthusiastically show Brittany the birds' nest, she had spotted, high on the branches above.
"Yeah they are" Santana smiled in agreement, before taking out her cell to capture the moment "Smile for a picture you two!"
Brittany sat herself on the branch, Mila standing up behind her, peeking over Brittany's shoulder. The height of the branch she was stood on made her level with Brittany, and she wrapped her arms around Brittany's neck, clasping her hands together and grinning widely. Santana and Quinn cooed as they watched them, their heads pressed adorably together. After the picture was taken, Mila jumped down and charged towards Quinn.
"Aunty Quinn, will you take me into the play park and push me on the swings?" she beamed
"Sure Meels!" said Quinn, ruffling her hair and following her into the park.
"She's such a blessing" Brittany sighed, as she approached Santana again, the two of them heading over to the nearest bench where they could watch Mila and Quinn play.
"She really is" Santana sighed contentedly "And soon there will be a second blessing playing alongside her, making us go all googly eyed all over again" she smiled, looking at Brittany and briefly glancing down at her stomach.
"I think Little Poppy is going to be a girl, you know?" Brittany said, as Santana turned to her, her features softening at Brittany's words.
"Really?"
"Yeah I just…have a feeling. Mother's instinct and all that"
"Imagine that…two girls" Santana said wistfully "Mila will be over the moon" she laughed, before placing a gentle hand on Brittany's stomach "But don't worry Little Poppy, we'll love you whatever you are" she said carefully.
"Did you ever have a gut feeling with Mila?"
Santana shook her head.
"I didn't really allow myself to think about it, what with the adoption…" she shrugged, earning a sympathetic nod from Brittany.
They watched in a content silence for a while, at Mila laughing wildly as Quinn pushed her on the swings, screaming for her to push her higher.
"San…How did you get the idea for Mila's name?" Brittany asked suddenly. In thinking about names for her own child, she realised it was something they'd never discussed before.
"You know it's funny" Santana sighed "I spent the whole of my pregnancy trying to detach myself, knowing I was giving her away, but the moment I found out she was a girl I had the name instantly. Of course I wasn't actually going to call her that if I did go through with the adoption, I was going to let the new parents decide, but it had such a special meaning that I was almost trying to telepathically pass it through to her by calling her it in my head"
Brittany let out a sad smile, squeezing Santana's hand, sensing this might be difficult for her to talk about.
"Mila comes from Camila" Santana explained "And Camila means perfect. And then Grace means a gift from God. It's like I always wanted her to know that she was loved, and that the reason I was giving her away wasn't because she was unwanted or because I didn't love her. It was just the wrong timing, or so I thought at the time. As soon as I held her in my arms, I could never give her back, and I knew she was my perfect Mila Grace"
Brittany blinked to rid herself of the tears that were clouding her eyes, feeling touched by Santana's deep response. She hadn't ever realised Santana had looked so far into picking names that had meanings behind them. It made her think how she had to make sure to get her own baby's name so right.
"That's so beautiful San" said Brittany, voice thick with emotion, as she squeezed Santana's hand once more.
Brittany was sitting alone waiting for Denver, who would be here any minute now. The gravity of the situation was really beginning to hit her, and she began to wring her hands with nerves. She had to stop herself from going over to the window for the seventh time, to see if she could see any sign of Denver arriving. Instead she settled on fixing herself another orange juice, her third in the last half hour.
"Damn shame it can't be wine" she told herself.
Santana and Mila had gone out, leaving Brittany the apartment so she could have some privacy to talk alone, with strict instructions from Santana for Brittany to call her immediately if Denver said anything out of line or she got too upset and overwhelmed.
As she heard a knock at the door, signalling Denver's arrival, she closed her eyes and let out a breath she didn't even know she was holding. This was going to be hard. Not only was she going to have to tell Denver about her pregnancy, she was going to have to make a decision on their future of their relationship. Up until this point, she had not really put too much thought into it. It was a huge betrayal, so she was assuming this was going to be the end of the road for them, but she didn't truly know until she had spoken to him. Maybe he would be able to miraculously talk his way out of it.
She reluctantly rose from her chair to let him in, composing herself one last time before opening the door. Her face showed no emotion as she greeted him, trying to be strong, whilst he looked visibly nervous. He jiggled his hands in his pockets, and his breathing was heavy. Brittany also noted that he had dressed smart for the occasion, wearing a shirt and tie, with the navy V-neck sweater that Brittany had bought him last Christmas. She silently let him in, and watched as he fumbled nervously, far from the confident, cocky Denver that she knew. Sensing he wasn't just going to sit without an invite, she gestured towards the couch, choosing the adjacent chair to sit on herself so she wouldn't have to sit too near him. Then she just stared and waited, and after what seemed like an age, Denver finally spoke.
"Brittany I am so so sorr…"
"Save it Den" Brittany cut in sharply "I don't want your apologies or your excuses. I just want to know what happened"
She knew Santana would be so proud of her strength.
And so, Denver told her everything. How he had slept with this girl Megan at one of his work conferences over a year ago. He blamed it all on the stresses of work, assuring Brittany it was nothing to do with her. He promised it was just a one-night thing, but Megan was always wanting more, and he was about to block her number when she told him she was pregnant. When he rebutted Megan's advances for something more once again, she turned nasty, and told him that he couldn't see the baby. There wasn't much contact until the baby was born, when a DNA test confirmed the baby was his, but despite asking Denver for child support payments, she was still refusing to let him see his son. It was this that had made Denver so desperate for a child with Brittany, hoping he could replace the heartache he had, if he put his love into another child. It had started as soon as he found out Megan was pregnant, and only intensified when she'd given birth to their son. Brittany felt sick. Their plans for a child had all stemmed from Denver's adulterous ways, while she had been there foolishly thinking their baby was made from love. She almost felt the need to place her hand on her stomach and shield the child inside her from this revelation. After Denver had finished, Brittany asked the question that she was sure she knew the answer to, but needed to hear out loud.
"Were there other girls as well as this one?"
Denver simply looked down, causing Brittany to sarcastically laugh
"That's a yes then" she said, making sure her tone was harsh.
Denver had called her stupid so many times, and in that moment, Brittany felt he was right to call her it. She really had been stupid. All the times people would say to her "I would hate if my partner had to work away as much as yours seems too. I couldn't trust him" and she had simply laughed it off with "No, not my Den. I trust him with anything". All these conferences, work dinners. Were they really that? Or were they just excuses to get with a whole hoard of other women.
Then she found herself wondering if it was her fault. She may have never physically cheated on Denver, but could she really say the same emotionally? She had been in love with her best friend for years, all unbeknownst to Denver. Wasn't that infidelity in itself?
Or maybe Denver did know, and that's why he had done what he did? Brittany shook her head, for the first time in ages in this relationship, her head suddenly felt clear and it was like an epiphany moment. Yes, she had harboured secret feelings for her best friend, she could admit she was guilty of that, but she never acted on it. She had never not loved Denver with everything in her being. She had never not been a loyal and loving girlfriend. She had never talked down to him, called him stupid or made him feel inadequate or small. She had never got angry with him if he came home later than she expected, or got too drunk. But these were all things, that he had done to her. Infidelity aside, their love had been lost ages ago, and Brittany was finally seeing it all now. Being back here with Santana and Mila and her family close-by, feeling happy despite the pain of all this, suddenly made her realise how desperately unhappy she was in New York with Denver.
"It was just the stresses of work…but I promise I can change. We can get couple's therapy or…" Denver trailed off, interrupting Brittany's chain of thought.
"You know what Denver, this is well and truly over, and I think you know it is. There's no way I can take you back after this. Not only have you been unfaithful, but you've lied and humiliated me for months. You pushed me into trying for a baby with you, when I had told you I wasn't quite ready, all to compensate for something you were feeling. Caused by a mistake you made" Brittany stopped to compose herself, her emotions getting the better of her. She had managed to stay fairly cool so far, and she didn't want her mask to slip.
"And actually, I've realised, it's not just about the cheating" Brittany continued "I think we both know this relationship has been dead and loveless for a long time now. I've certainly realised that anyway. I wasn't happy, and clearly you weren't happy either. The difference is, I didn't go have sex with somebody else to compensate"
"Brittany I…"
"Denver just stop" Brittany raised her hand "I've cried so many tears, about the way you've made me feel before. When you've talked down to me, when you've made me feel like I wasn't enough. And you have called me stupid so many times. But guess what? I'm not crying tears over this anymore. And…I'm not stupid. Because if I was, I'd be falling for all of this right now, and I'd be on my way back to New York with you. But I'm not. I'm done, and I am stronger without you"
Denver looked at the floor and removed his glasses to rub the tension from his forehead. He knew it was over. He knew he had lost the battle. He hesitantly looked up at Brittany again, needing to get these last words off his chest.
"I know I haven't been the best boyfriend to you. I know I've said things to hurt you and treated you in a way that no one should. All I can say is just that…yeah, I guess I was stressed and unhappy, and I took that out on you. And I know it's not an excuse, but I need you to know I genuinely am sorry Brittany. I did love you, and deep down I still do"
Brittany bit her lip and raised her eyes to the ceiling to stop more tears from flowing. For the first time in a long time, she genuinely believed Denver's apology. She knew he meant it.
"Well" Brittany cleared her throat "I just hope you take this as a lesson, to treat people better, and with more respect"
Denver nodded awkwardly, his eyes finding his feet again. Brittany felt the nerves in her stomach. She could sense the conversation coming to a natural end, and she knew she needed to tell him about the baby. It was now or never.
"What's really sad, is that if I hadn't been on your MacBook googling how big a baby is at 4 weeks pregnant, I wouldn't have even known about all this…"
Denver looked up, to be met with serious blue eyes.
"Why would you be googling that?" he frowned, as Brittany held his stare, waiting for him to work it out. She watched as his face went from one of confusion, to one of shock and realisation.
"Wait…what…Brit are you…?"
Brittany nodded before he could finish the question, causing Denver to gasp, holding his hand to his mouth in an exaggerated fashion.
"When did you find out?"
"The same day I found out you cheated" Brittany replied nonchalantly. This so wasn't her style to be this cut throat, but she knew Denver deserved it, and she was determined to channel her inner Santana Lopez.
"I don't even know what to say" Denver said shaking his head, before looking to Brittany "I mean it's great news of course! I'm just…shocked"
Brittany nodded, chewing her lip as she watched him. She wasn't really sure where to go from here.
"And everything is good with the baby?"
"Everything is fine, yes." Brittany replied. She didn't have the energy to go into detail with him about hearing the heartbeat, and coo over emotional moments. Maybe that would come in time, but not now.
"How many weeks gone are you?"
"Five"
"Okay…okay that gives us time" said Denver, the cogs turning in his head "Listen Brittany I know that things are over with us, and I know we have a lot to sort out, but I want you to know I'll deal with all the hard bits. The house and everything, you can keep it for you and the baby, I can move elsewhere. Even though we aren't together, I'll always be there for you both" he offered, the words speeding up as more thoughts came out.
It was the nicest Brittany had heard him be in years. Maybe this was going to make him change for the better? She could hope. But that would be for another woman to find out, not her.
"Actually…I'm still deciding at the moment if I want to raise the baby in New York or Lima. Being back here has been really good for me"
The hurt that flashed across Denver's face didn't go unnoticed.
"You understand why going back to New York could be quite hard for me right? And my main support network is going to be over here. I'm really going to need them with a new-born"
"I understand" Denver sighed "It's just the baby…I…will I…"
"I'm not Megan, Denver. I'm not going to stop you from seeing your child. You'll always be the baby's dad" said Brittany, knowing it was the burning question on Denver's mind.
Denver let out a sigh of relief. It wasn't the ideal situation, but it was more than he was getting with his son. And after everything he had done to Brittany, it was more than he could ask for right now.
After a few more baby questions, Denver left, the two of them emotionally drained. His only request was that Brittany kept him in the loop with everything, and informed him about the first scan, which Brittany thought was a fair ask.
She was sad that her long-term relationship had reached such a bitter end, but also relieved that the conversation was over, and that she was heading towards a new start. Just her and Little Poppy, surrounded by her loved ones. She had been proud of herself today, and she felt she could see everything clearly for the first time in years. As she let out a long sigh of relief, she tucked herself up on the sofa with a blanket and waited for Santana and Mila to get home.
Santana glanced over at Dani who was looking at her menu, trying to read her. She hadn't quite mastered the art of reading her as well as she could read Brittany yet. Then again, she had known Brittany for most of her life, it would probably never be the same. She had sensed some distance from her girlfriend all week, and she hoped tonight would help clear the air. She had left Mila in the capable hands of Quinn, knowing how much she loved spending time with her other Aunty, but also so she could have some alone time with Dani. She was worried that Mila's behaviour last week was causing Dani's upset, so tonight would be a chance to set that right.
When food was ordered, they fell into small talk, but Santana could definitely sense some awkwardness hanging in the air. Her Mexican Third Eye was telling her, and her Mexican Third Eye was never wrong.
"Is everything okay babe, you seem a little quiet?" Santana pressed, reaching out to take Dani's hand, which stiffened at her touch
"Yep…everything is fine" Dani smiled nervously, taking her hand from Santana's to run her fingers through her hair.
At this Santana felt herself harden. She was a tough nut to crack, and there were only certain people she would soften around. Her daughter, Brittany, her parents, her brother, Quinn on the odd occasion she had been upset. She had started letting Dani in to herself, and now Dani was putting walls up, which would inevitably do the same to Santana's.
"Brittany still staying with you then?" Dani asked nonchalantly
"Uh…yeah" Santana replied, confused by the question. Her girlfriend had barely said two words to her, and she wanted to talk about Brittany?
"Doesn't she have family here though?" Dani asked. She kept her tone light, but Santana could feel the question was loaded.
"Yeah she does but…Dani are you getting at something here?" Santana frowned
"No…no not at all, I just thought it must be pretty cramped at yours, having to share a bed when she could just go to her parents" Dani shrugged
Santana raised her eyebrow, not buying into Dani's casual demeanour.
"She's going through a tough time at the moment, I told you. And she needs my support" Santana replied, a little firmer than she would have liked "Besides her parents have a lot on their plate"
What Dani really wanted to reply, was that Santana had a lot on her plate too, but she dropped it. The food arrived, distracting them for a while, before the awkward silence started to swirl around them. Sensing Dani was going to say no more about the situation, Santana decided to change the subject to something more light-hearted, as she twirled her tagliatelle around her fork.
"I had a funny conversation with Mila earlier" she said, spooning the pasta into her mouth before continuing "She asked if I could have another baby so she could be a big sister" Santana laughed.
The look of horror on Dani's face, did not go amiss.
"What did you say?" Dani asked
"Well I said not right now obviously" Santana smiled "But maybe one day in the future"
An awkward silence swirled around them again before Dani spoke up
"Do you want more kids?"
"Well…I guess someday in the future; I'd like to, yes. But it's a long way off" Santana shrugged "How about you, do you want them?" she asked tentatively. She hadn't brought the conversation up as a tactical way to find out Dani's interest in children, she simply wanted a light-hearted conversation, but now they were here she was curious.
"God no!" Dani shrieked "I don't do babies. I mean of course Mila is so cute and I love her, but she's past the hard years. The sleepless nights, the screaming in public, the pitying stares from people. Part of the reason I thought you'd be so great is because you have one already, I figured you'd be fine not having anymore" she laughed.
Santana felt her heart sink. She knew she was wrong to do so, but she just assumed all women were maternal. Just like that, the awkward silence swirled around them once again.
"Does Brittany want kids?" Dani suddenly asked, causing Santana to snap her head up and frown. She momentarily panicked, thinking she must know about the pregnancy and it was a trick question, but then she realised something. Dani's frostiness all week, her constant questions about Brittany tonight, it all made sense.
"Dani, are you jealous of Brittany?" Santana asked gently, a demeanour which wasn't matched by Dani as she laughed sarcastically.
"Annnnnd finally…the penny drops"
"But…why?" Santana shook her head
"Oh, come on Santana, get real. I saw how you were around each other last weekend. The way you melt around her, the way she looks at you, the end of the night when you all cuddled up like a little family"
Now Santana really was frowning. The way Brittany looked at her? Brittany? The same Brittany who'd just had her heart broken by her long term boyfriend. She knew girls could jealous and a little crazy but…Dani was really reaching here.
"Dan come on…you're being silly. She's my best friend so, of course we're super close. She knows me better than anyone…but that's all there is to it"
"So, you don't have feelings for her then?" Dani probed; eyebrows raised. Santana felt her cheeks flush red at Dani's question.
"What!? No, of course not. She's my best friend, why would you even think that!?"
"And she doesn't have feelings for you?"
"Well now you really are being ridiculous…"
"Santana anyone with eyes can see that there's something more there. And guess what? I have EYES"
"Babe…I think you're just getting a little paranoid because of how close we are, and because she's staying with me for a while. I mean come on…for starters, Brittany is like…the straightest girl I know. Look Dani, I promise you, she's just my best friend, and a very important person in my life platonically. That's all it is"
"Well if that's all it is, why is she all you ever talk about? Why is it that when you stopped speaking, it was like your heart had been ripped out of your chest, and no matter what I did to help fix it, it only mended when she came back into your life? Why does your face soften, and your eyes light up, when you see her walk into a room? Why do you speak to her in a tone of voice that only seems to be reserved for her and Mila? And why is she the person who's made you cry the most, but seems to make you smile the most too?"
Santana swallowed; her heart was beating out of her chest. She didn't know she did any of that. Her breathing quickened, and she couldn't quite recognise her emotions, until suddenly everything all spilled out;
"You know what screw this! I've done nothing to make you doubt me, nothing at all! All I'm guilty of is helping my best friend, who just so happens to be going through hell at the moment, since she just found out her boyfriend of 6 years just cheated on her. Oh, and did I mention…that she's also pregnant with his child?" Santana paused, fully recognising her emotions now. She was angry, and she was defensive "So I'm sorry if you've noticed me being overly affectionate towards my best friend, but right now she needs me! If you really think with all that going on, she has time to be having some illicit affair with me then…Do you know what, I don't even know what to say to you anymore Dani"
And with that Santana stood up from the table and stormed out, leaving Dani to take care of the cheque. It wasn't until she had got in her car, started driving and calmed down, that she realised she had told Dani about Brittany in her moment of rage. She felt so guilty, and she just hoped Brittany wouldn't be too mad at her. Right now, she needed a Brittany cuddle, but even more so she needed to push the night behind her and be there for Brittany. Her evening with Denver was sure to have been even tougher.
With Mila safely tucked up in bed, Santana and Brittany were comfy on the couch, as Brittany relayed everything that had happened with Denver. She had decided she wouldn't tell her about her argument with Dani, she had enough going on with Denver, and Santana wanted to be the one to support her not push more issues onto her.
"What an absolute fuck! I can't believe him!" Santana raged
"I know…you couldn't write it" Brittany laughed sadly
"I really am so sorry babe. Honestly, I want to call him up right now and go all Lima Heights but…I'm staying calm and I'm focusing my energy on you" Santana soothed, reaching out to rub Brittany's arm.
"Babe, don't be. I've come to terms with it now. If I'm being completely honest, he wasn't the best boyfriend recently anyway"
"How do you mean?" Santana frowned; the concern visible on her face.
"Well…that night when you heard us arguing. I…might have lied when I told you he didn't speak to me like that often. In the past year or so, there was a lot of that" she admitted
"Brittany…" Santana sighed sadly "What kind of things did he say to you?"
"He just…called me stupid a lot. Talked down to me, made me feel like I was dumb and unimportant. That things needed to be done his way, and if I didn't comply, I was a bad girlfriend…" Brittany trailed off, tears brimming her eyes as she wondered to herself why she had put up with it for so long. Santana immediately scooped Brittany up into her arms.
"I knew something wasn't right" Santana sighed "I should have saw through it and…"
"No Santana, you can't blame yourself. The thing is, you did see through it, and you tried to make me see too. You tried and…look what happened. We argued because of him"
"Well never again" Santana stiffened
"No. Never again" Brittany repeated firmly, melting the Latina back into her.
"There's so much I want to say to that boy" Santana began, fists clenched until Brittany's touch calmed her again.
"There's no point San. Everything has already been said. I called him out on it and…he actually apologised. He acknowledged he was wrong, and I actually believe he means it. I don't think he ever meant to hurt me, not really, he just deals with things in unhealthy ways. He put me down, to fuel his own ego. He's not a bad person, not deep down…"
"Well I find that hard to believe" Santana scoffed, before looking into Brittany's aqua eyes made her soften "That's one of the things I love about you though, you see the good in everyone"
Brittany smiled; her own eyes boring into Santana's chocolate ones.
"And one of the things I love about you, is how strong you are. The way you stick up for yourself, the people that you love, the way you fight for what's right. I really tried to channel you today when I was with him. I think you would have been proud"
"I'm always proud of you" Santana replied.
She watched a smile find its way onto Brittany's face, as she gently tucked some hair out of her face.
"I want you to know how special and loved and beautiful you are" Santana began "I don't want any of this with Denver to make you think otherwise okay? You're one in a million Brit, and you know what he doesn't deserve you, and he never has"
"Thanks San" Brittany smiled appreciatively, her best friend always had a way with words, whilst she was more of an 'actions speak louder' person. They were the true epitome of Yin and Yang. Together, they complimented each other so well.
"From now on, Denver will be known only as Douchever" Santana smiled proudly at her creation, always one for making up nicknames for people she couldn't tolerate. Brittany laughed, welcoming the light change of mood.
"And guess what, It's Douchever's loss, because there's plenty more guys out there who are going to snap you right up!"
Brittany laughed, before hesitating for a moment.
"Or girls…" she added quietly, causing Santana to snap her head up and look at her with confusion.
"Well I am bisexual Santana" Brittany laughed nervously, as if Santana should have known all along and it wasn't news to her.
"Since when?" Santana frowned, before realising her reaction was perhaps a little harsh for someone who had just come out
"Sorry Brit, I mean…That's great I just…I'm a little shocked that's all. How long have you known this for?" Brittany had shown no signs of liking girls in High School, Santana mused, she had only ever got with guys. Then shortly after had entered a relationship with Denver and been with him ever since, so she was confused about when she'd come to this realisation. Was it a new thing?
"Since Senior Year" Brittany shrugged, answering Santana's question
"What!?" Santana exclaimed; she certainly wasn't expecting that. And she didn't understand why Brittany wouldn't tell her, they told each other everything. She hadn't even told her when Santana had come out as a lesbian herself. Again, realising her reaction was perhaps a little too much, she softened.
"Why didn't you tell me?" she asked gently
"I just didn't think it was that big of a deal" Brittany shrugged again "I always just figured I'd introduce you to who I was dating at the time"
Santana nodded understandingly. It made sense, and sounded like the most Brittany thing ever, even though she'd always for sure thought she was straight.
"The one time I came close to telling you, was when you came out. I thought it might help you to think you could relate to someone, but then I didn't want to make it all about me and turn it into a 'double coming out' or something"
"Brit that's so sweet that you wanted to do that to help me" Santana smiled, squeezing Brittany's hand lightly "I'm just happy whenever you're happy okay? Whoever that's with"
"I know San, and that's the same for you"
"Come here" Santana said, pulling Brittany into a hug. It had been yet another emotional rollercoaster "Proud of you" she whispered
"I'm proud of you too" Brittany replied. And she was proud. Proud of her every day. Proud to call her, her best friend.