This chapter is written a little differently. I wanted to use first person to really get down to how both girls were feeling in these pivotal points in their story. Next chapter will be back to normal.

Also- I'll try my best to stick to the daily updates, but work got a little more hectic recently, and I've ran out of the large pre-written chunk I had. Still at most, it should be every couple of days, but I'll always try for daily :)

As always, hope you enjoy!

Santana's POV

I shuffled around in the bed, turning my neck to check my phone which was on the bedside table.

02:03 the time read. How can it be? It feels like I've been laying here for ages, trying my best to let sleep take over me, but my mind just wasn't letting it happen. I was on overdrive tonight, and I had no idea why. I sighed as I put down my phone; it was going to be a long night. I turned to face Brittany. I admired the way the moonlight crept through the gap in the curtains, ever so slightly illuminating her features. Her face looked relax and content, and her hand had subconsciously made its way to her stomach, and I was finding it adorable. I was just happy that someone here was getting a good nights' sleep. It was the first time all week I had seen her look this relaxed, all the worries and doubts over her situation faded away, now that she had spoken to Douchever.

Hearing what Brittany had told me earlier about his mistreatment of her made me so angry. How could he treat someone as pure, beautiful and innocent as Brittany like that? She's everything that's good in the world. There were more than a few words I wanted to say to him, that's for sure.

That got me thinking about my own argument with Dani. The argument we'd had earlier was the first red flag in our relationship, and it made me wonder if it was the end of the road for us. Brittany and Denver's relationship was fine proof of what happened if you ignored red flags. My best friend who deserved the world, had ended up unhappy, and that shouldn't have ever happened. I didn't want that to happen to me either.

Then I thought about how I had accidentally blurted out about Denver's cheating and Brittany's pregnancy in a rage and felt guilty. I really hadn't meant to; it had just come flying out. I couldn't believe the things Dani was seriously saying about me and Brit, I mean come on!?

As I watched Brittany, seemingly in a peaceful sleep, I made a silent vow that no one would ever hurt her again. Least of all me. Then just like that, she opened her eyes. I had always thought Brittany had some weird ability to read my mind and sense things, and this was one of them.

"I know you're watching me" Brittany let out a knowing smile, and I chewed my lip nervously at being caught, before Brittany reached out her hand to find mine.

"Tell me what's on your mind" she said softly, and I let out a sigh. I really didn't want to cause her any more pain, not tonight, but I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep without getting this off my chest. And if I wasn't sleeping, neither was she, now she had sensed my worry. She needed her sleep more than ever now, for her, and for Little Poppy.

"Brittany, I have to tell you something" I gulped, and I watched her soft facial expression turn to one of concern, which didn't make the situation any easier.

"Dani and I…we had a bit of an argument earlier" Brittany reached out to touch me, but I gently stopped her. I didn't want her to console me, that wasn't the reason I was telling her this. I didn't want anything that made this about me, instead of her "It's not a big deal don't worry, I'm fine" I assured her, but I knew she was unconvinced. Her own situation aside, Brittany was the type of person who always put others before herself. I loved it about her, but I also wished she'd let me just take care of her more.

"It's just that…as part of the argument, I ended up blurting out a few things" shit, this was really hard to say, but I knew I needed to spit it out because Brittany was looking at me questioningly. I didn't really want to go into too much depth, about how Dani had some crazy theory we had feelings for each other. I mean, that could totally freak Brit out, and I didn't want that.

"Dani was just getting on at me a bit about you staying here, I think she's just missing me a bit that's all, and obviously she doesn't know the reason you're staying here so long…so I…I ended up going all Lima Heights and blurting out about the baby and what had happened with Denver. I'm so sorry Brit, you know how I can be when Snixx takes over me, but it's not an excuse. I just wanted her to know why you needed to be here and that she was out of line even bringing it up…" I trailed off, looking into Brittany's aqua eyes in a bid to read her and gage her reaction. Brittany's eyes were the key to her soul, and I could usually tell her every emotion through looking into them, but right now the darkness of the room was preventing me from doing that.

"Brit…I'm so sorry if I've hurt you. I've been tossing and turning all night over it. I can make sure Dani tells no one else…"

"No San it's okay I'm not mad at you" Brittany suddenly interrupted me.

I was relieved but confused.

"You're not?" I asked tentatively, to which Brittany shook her head.

"No, I mean, it wouldn't be something I'd have told her myself but…I understand. And she would have found out eventually. The thing I am concerned about is that she's not happy about me being here. I don't want to come between you two…"

As I realised where Brittany was going with this, I interrupted her so fast that I nearly gave myself whiplash from the way my neck snapped to look up at her. There was no way Brittany was going to feel bad about this. I actually found myself feeling pretty angry at Dani, for making my best friend think this way.

"Brit no stop! Please don't think any of this is your fault okay? This is just Dani overreacting because she hasn't seen me this week as much as she would usually, and I think to be honest. the way Mila behaved upset her, especially because she saw how close she is to you"

Brittany let out a sad smile unconvinced, and I gently raised her chin so that she would look at me. I needed her to feel my conviction in this.

"I don't care what Dani thinks Brit. You needed me, and I'll be here for you as long as you need me because as you already know, you're my favourite person in the whole world alongside Mila, and you're my best friend. I'm not going to let that change because of a girl I've been in a relationship with for all of five minutes"

I watched Brittany closely, searching her face for signs that she believed me. It looked like she was closer to being convinced, but then her face dropped

"But she's your girlfriend..."

"She is" I nodded "And I love her Brit, I really do but…I loved you first. You're the one who's been my side through all of the highs and lows, not her. You really think if it was a competition, that I'd ever pick anyone else over you? Never Brittany. I'd choose you over everyone." I said firmly, watching as Brittany's face softened at the words. I knew she believed me now.

"I'd choose you too" she replied, giving my hand a squeeze.

I adjusted myself to rest in the crook of Brittany's neck, hoping the warmth and safety of her arms would help me to sleep, before getting the last of my words off my chest. The soft strokes of Brittany's hands running down my arm encouraged me further.

"You always taught me not just to exist because, I'm worth so much more than that. Without you Brit, I just…exist"

"And without you in my life, I just exist too San." Brittany replied, in a manner so factual, it was as if she was telling me the sky was blue. I knew she meant it, and she wasn't just repeating what I said.

"I love your way with words San, and how you made me feel like the most special girl in the world. But I'm so tired. Can we sleep now?" Brittany asked, stifling a yawn. I could see her eyes were already starting to droop, and I felt guilty for keeping her up so long. Hopefully now that I had told her about the Dani situation, I'd be able to sleep.

"Course Brit"

"And you're going to sleep now too? You've been restless all night"

"Yes, don't worry. I'll sleep now too"

Before I had even finished the sentence, I heard Brittany's light snores, signalling she was in fact already asleep. Pregnancy does that to you.

"Night baby" I whispered.

As I realised what I had just said, and felt my inner panic take over. Since when did I call Brittany that!? I never even called Dani it, and she was my girlfriend. I put it down to the emotions of the night, glad that Brittany didn't hear me. It was just a pet name, no big deal, but I knew I had been extra soft tonight. Dani was right about one thing; Brittany did make me go soft. I just couldn't help it. If Snixx was my angry alter ego, I needed an alternative version that came out around Brittany, because there for sure was one.

But Brittany had been in my life since childhood, and she was so innocent and naïve. She needed a protector, and that was me. That was why I was so soft around her, I reasoned.

I looked at the time again. Almost 3. I had promised Brittany I'd sleep, but I still couldn't, despite my best efforts. I began to realise my buzzing mind wasn't due to my guilt on telling Brittany's 'secrets', well not all of it anyway. It was Dani's comments about my relationship with Brittany, that my mind was spinning over and over.

"Oh, get over yourself Santana" I told myself "You're really going to listen to somebody who has only known you a couple of months"

But then I remembered that Quinn had made a similar comment about it too, when I had come out to her. Was everybody else seeing something that I wasn't?

And now that Brittany had so casually dropped a bombshell that she's Bi, and known this for years, I was really starting to wonder.

I was sure that Brittany couldn't like me, because she had been with Denver for so long. Unless she had liked me in High School, but she would have told me. Brittany was the most honest person I knew, and things like that didn't bother her. And all that was years ago anyway.

But did I like her? Surely not. She was just Brittany. Childhood best friend Brittany. My beautiful, safe, reliable Brittany.

Nothing could ever get in the way of that.

I tossed and turned all night with these thoughts, going over everything in my head, wondering if everyone could see something that Brittany and I couldn't.

I wasn't sure when sleep finally found me, or how long I had been asleep when I heard Brittany shouting my name.

Brittany's POV

When I awoke and checked the time, it was just past 6am. Santana was still in my arms, and one look at her told me she was finally asleep. I wasn't so sure it was a peaceful one, by the way her brow furrowed inking slight creases into her forehead. I ever so softly pressed a gentle kiss on her forehead, to try and ease whatever worries she was having. It seemed to work and etch its way into her unconscious mind, as I watched her face soften slightly, a slight curl of her mouth.

Last night neither of us had slept so well. Tiredness had overtaken me, and I had managed to fall asleep straight away, but I could somehow sense Santana's restlessness. When I woke up and sensed her watching me, I urged her to tell me her worries, the way I always did. Nervously, her worries spilled out, just like they always did.

I found it sweet the way she had panicked herself over this, she really did care about me so much, but I of course didn't want her to worry either. I assured her straight away that everything was fine, and I wasn't mad about it. Dani was going to have to find out anyway, and I knew Santana had just been sticking up for me. What did bother me, and I had expressed this to Santana, was the comments from Dani that started the argument in the first place.

I really didn't want to be stepping on anyone's toes, but I knew that in Dani's eyes, that's exactly what I was doing. I was staying in her girlfriends' bed every night, while Santana hadn't even allowed her to stay the night yet, always thinking of Mila first. I was the one holding her girlfriend at night and waking up to her at morning. I was the one who she was coming home from work too. I was the one she was talking to about her day. I was the one having dinner with her every night.

If I was being honest, it felt like heaven to me. Like I was finally happy. It almost felt like we had a little family dynamic going on. Of course, I knew, this couldn't last forever. But for now, I was in my bubble and I no intention of anyone breaking it.

I pictured an alternate universe. One where when I had told Santana I was bi tonight, she had turned around with tears brimming her eyes, and said she had been waiting to hear those words since forever. We'd kiss, but this time, there would be no regret and no next morning denial. That would be it, the start of everything. The start of our lives together.

We'd get married pretty quick, but nobody would question it, because they could all see what we had between us, before we even had. To them it would be long awaited and, "about freakin' time!"

We'd spend family days with Mila. Trips to the park, movie days all cuddled up, a special Christmas just the three of us. Our happiness would make us go to town on spoiling Mila that year. Santana would moan as more and more parcels came to the door and sigh "Brit, what have you brought now!?" but secretly, she would love it. She loved indulging her daughter just as much as I did, as long as Mila was grateful. The biggest present though, would be Santana and Mila's gift to me, when they would present me a card that asked me to adopt Mila. And I'd cry harder than I've ever cried before, but of course it would be a yes. The easiest yes.

We'd prepare for Little Poppy's arrival, Santana protecting and guiding me through. She would probably snap at anyone who came within three inches of me, and this would get worse as my bump grew. She'd hold my hand in labour, and cry as the baby was born. We'd raise the child together, of course. Santana would be Mama; I would be Mommy. That's right our little girl was going to have three parents. Yes, I said little girl. I know my own intuition, and that doesn't change in an alternate universe.

And then the four of us would do life together, living in a constant happiness.

Mila would have her baby sister

Santana would finally have her doubts eased about Mila only having one parent

And I would have my childhood sweetheart, at last.

It was the perfect situation, except of course it wasn't reality. I just hoped the Alternate Universe versions of us, knew how truly lucky they were. Maybe things would lead us to each other one day though. But why not now? The timing seemed perfect. I had split from Denver; Santana had argued with Dani. Santana had always talked about fate and everything happening for a reason. Well maybe this was it. Maybe the stars were about to align for us.

I worried that Dani knew about my feelings for Santana. I always thought they were hidden well, considering Santana never picked up on it, but maybe Dani's Gaydar was more in tune. Maybe she saw the longing looks I gave her. The way my touch would always linger a little longer than necessary, even with actions as simple as passing her a plate. The way I would smile whenever she laughed, because I had never heard a more beautiful sound before. Maybe that's why she had a problem with me staying here so much. Maybe she would tell Santana, and our friendship would be ruined. She'd feel like it was all a lie. She'd never see our friendship in the same light if she knew I'd been secretly pining for her, for years now.

As always, Santana had managed to quell my doubts with her words. She never failed to make me aware of just how important I was to her, and how wherever life would take us, I would be deeply rooted in hers, and she in mine. Our friendship had stood the test of time, and so her loyalty to me would stand with it. But her kind words almost made me sad. I was so important to her, more so than her girlfriend, she had pointed out. So then why couldn't Dani and I switch positions? Why was she Santana's girlfriend, and not me?

Since splitting with Denver my yearning for Santana had increased and I was well aware of that.

But once again, Santana quashed my sadness with her warm words. When she told me that she would choose me over everyone, I felt tingles throughout my whole body. My love language was predominantly through actions, but it was like Santana always knew when I needed to hear something. And I never tired of hearing her beautiful words. On this occasion, they were more heartfelt then they had ever been before. It felt like such an intimate moment between us, and I wondered if the timing had anything to do with it. It was 2am, and there was just something about deep talks in the middle of the night. It was almost like you could be more vulnerable during Pillow Talk. Whatever was said, could be forgotten in the morning if you wanted it to be, brushed away as a dream.

I almost wanted to be vulnerable with myself in that moment and tell her exactly how I felt about her. How I had been in love with her since we were at least 16. How I had visited her at the Yoghurt Shop she was working at part time for extra money, just as I always did. On this particular occasion, on the end of Santana's shift, her boss had let us eat all the yoghurt that was about to expire. Of course, there was too much for us to eat, there's only so much yoghurt you can handle, so we had ended up having a mini food fight. When I looked at her with the yoghurt dotted at the end of her nose, her loud laugh ringing in my ears as she wiped away the mess from her teal shirt, that's when I knew. That's when I knew I was in love with Santana Lopez. I'd try push the thought away for ages, but in hindsight, I know that was the moment I realised my love for her was deeper than friendship. I probably loved her before that, I'd probably loved her forever, but that day will always be burned in my mind.

Of course, I didn't tell her. Instead I made my excuses to go to sleep, because I genuinely was tired. But also, because I was scared.

I didn't feel it was fair to say it, when she had a girlfriend, and she just so happened to have had an argument with said girlfriend. I didn't want to confuse her or cause her any conflict. It wouldn't have been fair to lay my feelings on her then, when she most probably wouldn't be thinking straight after the argument.

She'd also probably think I wasn't thinking straight either, being that I'd only split up with Denver a few hours before. But of course, I'd know I was. I've known this feeling for years now. I live with it.

And I couldn't even bare to think about a rejection. Her beautiful brown eyes pitying me as she hurt me and told me she didn't feel the same. I would know she'd hate every minute of it, because she'd never want to hurt me like that, but she'd have to be honest and be her authentic self. "I can't lead you on Brit" she'd probably tell me.

Or worse still, what if she reacted badly. What if she no longer wanted me in her life anymore. Our indescribable friendship ruined. Gone forever.

No. I couldn't. It wasn't the right time.

It would probably never be the right time. I knew that. But I switched my mind off and allowed sleep to wash over me, until now. 6am, where I lay awake with my mind swirling once more.

I clutched my stomach and remembered the reason that I had been woken in the first place. These stomach cramps were getting worse. I'd had them all day yesterday, and they seemed to be intensifying. The good news was, they had replaced my morning sickness. Yesterday had been the first day of the week that I hadn't thrown up. I didn't know what was worse. Pregnancy definitely wasn't treating me well, but I knew it would all be worth it.

I quietly slipped out of bed, careful not to wake Santana, hoping a trip to the bathroom might help my cramps subside a little. I really wanted to get a few more hours of sleep.

And that's when my world went black. When I looked down and I saw it.

And suddenly the room was spinning, my head faint, my heart thumping in my ears.

I stood up when I couldn't look any longer, using the sink to steady myself. I splashed water on my face to calm myself and stared at myself in the mirror. My breathing heavy as anxious tears filled my eyes.

And then my voice found its strength, and I called out for her.

And she must have been able to sense the worry, because she ran so quick, she almost slipped on the tiles.

And as her concerned brown eyes searched mine for what was wrong, a desperate sob escaped my lips.

"Santana...I'm bleeding"