The conversation between Amy & Shelby got a little long so I'm posting it as a chapter of it's own, but I didn't think a chapter of just Shelby and Amy talking would work as a 'proper' update so you're getting it now and then we'll go back to Rachel's day out on Wednesday.

It might not seem like this is relevant right now, but it will be later on, it might not seem like it, but I do have a plan for this fic!

Boris Yeltsin - Thank you for the vacation ideas, I'll look into them.

WolfAlpha13 - I'm not going to lie. Until I saw your review, I honestly thought it was Wednesday!

NZLouise - I think really young Rachel had dance classes etc, but they stopped, maybe around the age of 8 or so. Which side of her would you like me to explore? Her getting into singing and dancing now (that will probably happen though her being in the glee club) or her younger self?

Just as a heads up, there is discussion of miscarriage in this chapter, so feel free to skip it if you need to, it won't affect your understanding of the rest of the story.

Shelby found herself pacing the room as she waited for her sister to arrive but eventually she forced herself to sit down, curling herself into the armchair and picking up a book to try and distract herself from her worries. There was nothing she could do until Amy arrived, she didn't even know if she needed to do anything, for all she knew Amy could be perfectly fine. Shelby hoped she was, hoped she was worrying about nothing but a nagging feeling in the pit of her stomach told her something was wrong with her baby sister.

As always Amy let herself into Shelby's house, her eyes slightly glassy as she walked through to the living room, "Amy?" Shelby frowned, looking up from her book, "what's wrong?"

"If I tell you something, do you promise not to be mad at me for not telling you sooner?" Amy asked, fiddling with her sleeve as she walked into the room.

"Amy?" Shelby was suddenly transported back to Amy's teen years, to the girl who'd had a bad day at school, who just needed a hug from her big sister, just needed to hear that everything was going to be okay. "Of course I won't be mad" she held out her arms and Amy joined her in the armchair, cuddling into Shelby, the way they'd done so many times when she was younger. "What is it?" Shelby asked as she stroked her sister's back.

"I erm…" Amy tucked her head against Shelby's shoulder, not wanting to look her in the eye as she told her, "there's a reason we didn't tell you about the baby sooner, I mean the timing was good to surprise you on your birthday, but there was something else too."

Shelby's concern grew as she heard Amy take a shaky breath, felt her sisters tears against her neck," Amy" she said softly, wanting her to continue.

"I had a miscarriage last year" Amy whispered, "we weren't, it wasn't planned but we knew we wanted to try for another eventually, it was just happening a little sooner than we planned but I, I only made it to maybe seven or eight weeks, I hadn't even seen the doctor. I think today would probably have been my due date, and I know, I know I wasn't pregnant for long, and I, this happened quite quickly afterwards" she ran her hand over her bump, "but I..." she shrugged and wiped at her eyes.

"Oh Amy" Shelby whispered, pulling her closer and kissing her hair.

"It wasn't… It wasn't like they show it on the TV, it was just… I was pregnant and then, and then I just wasn't. I didn't even go to the doctor, I had three positive pregnancy tests and then a week later I had a really heavy period and that was it, it was gone."

"You should have called me Amy, you should have said something."

"You hadn't had Rachel long and she was so broken Shelly, you had enough on your plate, she needed you more. I called Jimmy. He left work and came home. I wasn't on my own."

"I'm glad to hear that" Shelby was absentmindedly rubbing Amy's back to comfort her.

"I was terrified when Rachel found me throwing up" Amy admitted, "I didn't want to lie to her, I didn't want her worrying I was ill, but I was absolutely terrified that I was going to have to tell her I'd lost it."

"She'd have understood" Shelby held Amy a little tighter, "but everything's okay, so you didn't have to."

"I… Jimmy mentioned it at my first appointment, they said that losing it so early on probably meant that there was something wrong, that it wouldn't have been able to survive, and that, that makes it a bit easier, as selfish as it sounds, hearing that it wasn't my fault helped a lot."

"That's not selfish at all Amy. I bet most women would feel that way, but no matter what happened, it wasn't your fault, it was just one of those things, awful but unpreventable. You are an amazing Mom Amy and I know you'd never do anything to put your kids at risk, even before they're born."

"I wanted to tell you" Amy said honestly, "I hate keeping things from you, but I didn't want you to feel like you had to choose between me and Rachel. You'd only had her a couple of weeks, she needed you more."

Shelby dropped her head, letting her forehead rest against Amy's, "I wish you'd told me" she whispered. "But I understand why you didn't. I'm glad Jimmy did the right thing though, or I'd have had to kill him." Suddenly it all made sense, she'd thought Jimmy had been a little overprotective of Amy on vacation, checking she was staying hydrated, asking if she was okay, if she wanted to take a nap, if she needed him to take the kids and Shelby understood now, he was doing what he could to try and 'protect' his wife and unborn child.

Amy laughed, "no, he was… it was tough on him too, but I don't think I'd have managed to get through it without him. He was my rock. I called him at midnight to tell him I was bleeding, it wasn't even that much, more like a bit of spotting but he said he was coming straight home, and he did." Amy paused to wipe at her eyes before continuing, "he was home so fast that he can't have stopped for anything and he probably didn't quite stick to the speed limit either. The bleeding was heavier and I'd started cramping by the time he got back and I, I was a mess, I was sobbing on the floor in the ensuite because I didn't want to wake the kids. He came in, lifted me off the bathroom floor and laid in bed with me until I cried myself to sleep in his arms. He took Max to school the next morning and dropped Lily at his Mom's because he knew our Mom would probably call you to find out what was going on. He… One of the first things he said to me when I woke that next morning was 'do you want me to call Shelby?' but… "Amy shrugged slightly." We haven't told anyone, just Jim's boss. He had to call to say he wouldn't be in and he said telling them the truth would be better than just saying I was ill. We don't… I don't want to tell everyone."

"You know I won't say anything Amy" Shelby promised, thinking about all the secrets she'd kept for her sister over the years, "I never have and I never will."

"I feel so stupid" Amy wiped at her tears, "getting this upset about something so…" she gestured vaguely, "especially when I managed to get pregnant again so soon."

"Hey" Shelby shook her head, "no matter how early you lost it, no matter how little time you knew you were pregnant, no matter how many more children you have, that was still your baby, it was still a part of you, you're allowed to grieve for it Amy, you're allowed to be upset and wonder about the 'what ifs'. I am sorry though, all that time I've been winding you up about having another baby and you've been going through this."

Amy shook her head, "don't apologise, you didn't know, and anyway, it was kind of nice, like without realising it, you were reminding me that there was still hope, that we could try again, that we could still have a third child."

"In that case, you're welcome" Shelby teased playfully.

Amy laughed, "you know, if this is a girl" she moved her hand to her stomach, "I hope she and Lily get this" she gestured between the two of them.

"I hope so too" Shelby put her hand beside Amy's, "and it makes me so happy that Rachel gets to have a relationship like this too."

Amy lifted her head from Shelby's shoulder and frowned, "with who?"

Shelby laughed and poked Amy's shoulder with her index finger, "with you you fool. Don't tell me you haven't noticed. You're her person Amy, if she needs anything and I'm not there she calls you. She opens up to you without hesitation, at Christmas at Mom and Dad's, she was getting overwhelmed, you noticed that and offered her a break and she trusted you. She went outside with you, she was scared, she was overwhelmed, she was probably freaking out a little, she'd only met you a couple of times before but she trusted you to get her away from that and she sat outside with you, and you didn't just make small talk, you had a proper conversation with her about the things going on in her life. When she was ill and I was on that field trip, she was the one that suggested the school called you, on vacation, when she needed someone, you were there, half of her closet is full of your clothes. That mother's day card was her idea, she was so nervous asking me if she could get it for you but she asked anyway. She trusts you Amy, and the more time she spends around you, the stronger that trust will grow."

"I'm happy about that too" Amy smiled, "it's good for her to know that she's got people on her side, people who are going to be there for her no matter what."

Shelby smiled, "have you spoken to Mom about what happened?"

"No" Amy shook her head, "I, I wanted to but I didn't know how to, and then it had been a while and I felt like too much time had passed and…" she shrugged.

"You should tell her" Shelby said softly, "just tell her what you told me, she'll understand, and it might be good for you, to talk to someone who understands what you're going through.

Erin had made no secret of the fact that Amy had been "the best surprise she'd ever been given", Paul jokingly calling her his 'happy accident' once she was old enough to understand that he was joking, and that, whilst she might have been a surprise, she had always been wanted and loved.

Erin and Paul had always wanted a big family, had decided right from the start that they wanted as many children as they could, and the pair were overjoyed to find that Erin was pregnant just six months after their marriage, Shelby quickly followed by Matt and Luke, the three oldest Corcoran children born in less than five years. Luke had just turned one when they started trying for a fourth baby, both expecting Erin to get pregnant without any trouble, just like she had before, but it wasn't to be. She miscarried twice, the second time well into her second trimester when she thought she was 'safe". The losses hit Erin harder than she could ever have imagined, and, with a heavy heart, she asked Paul if they could stop trying, she wasn't sure she could put herself through that for a third time. Paul hated seeing his wife so upset, so broken, and he told her that if she wanted to stop trying then that was fine with him, they already had three beautiful children, and if three was their magic number, well, he knew he was already luckier than a lot of other men.

But then it happened. Almost two years after they agreed to stop trying, Erin found out she was pregnant again. She was terrified, so scared that something would go wrong that she told nobody except Paul and her doctor, managing to hide her pregnancy until she was well into her third trimester. Amy completed their family just five weeks after Luke's fourth birthday and was immediately showered with love and affection, just like her older siblings, something that had never stopped.

"Y'know" Amy brought Shelby back from her thoughts, "if you wanted another one… I seem to be quite good at getting myself knocked up."

Shelby frowned, watching as Amy ran her hand over the curve of her stomach, "what do you mean?"

"I mean you wouldn't have to look very far for a surrogate, if you wanted one."

Shelby smiled, "thank you, but I'm happy with Rachel, we've still got a lot of things for her to work through, and, you know I love all my nieces and nephews and I feel lucky that I've been able to play such a big part in their lives, but I'm also grateful for the fact that I get to give them back too" she chuckled.

"You're the best Auntie our kids could ask for, but you're an even better Mom Shelby, I'm glad you've got Rachel back."

"Yeah" Shelby smiled, "me too."

"So where is that beautiful niece of mine?" Amy asked, wanting to change the subject. She felt better for telling Shelby what had happened, for crying with her sister and getting it off her chest. She felt like she just needed to tell someone what had happened, and she knew she'd talk about it with her husband when he called later that night, but for now she didn't want to dwell on it too much.

Shelby smiled, "I'm not sure you'll believe me if I tell you." Amy raised one eyebrow and Shelby laughed, "she's gone to a theme park with her friends, 8 of them, no adult supervision."

"She's… Wow, that's amazing. Was she excited?"

"Yeah" Shelby nodded, "but I think she was quite anxious too, the way she clung to me when I said goodbye, I thought she was going to change her mind and say she wanted to stay here. I'm glad she went though, I want her to feel like she can go out and enjoy herself with her friends, I want her to do all the things her peers do, and most of all, I want her to learn that, no matter how long she's away for, I'll be here when she comes back."

Amy smiled, "letting her go so far is a big 'Mom moment' for you too, how are you feeling? Have you heard from her?"

"I'm not as worried as I thought I would be, I even went back to sleep after they left, I think it helps that I know everyone she's with, they're good kids and I think they'll all look out for each other. I did wonder what I was going to do with myself for the day before you called though. And I had a text to say they'd arrived at the park, I want her to enjoy herself so I told her she could call me if she needed to but otherwise I just wanted a text when they got there and another when they're leaving tonight, I don't want her to feel like she has to be constantly checking in. I want her to be able to think about herself for a little while, I want her to be able to enjoy herself without worrying about anything or anyone."

"I'm sure she's having a great time" Amy reassured her sister, "Rachel knows she can rely on you, if she needed anything, even just some words of encouragement to get her through the day, she'd have called you."

"I know, she's come so far" Shelby smiled, "I'm so, so proud of her."

"And you have every right to be, she's an incredible girl Shelby, everything that happened with those bastards is still so fresh and raw for her and she's already changed so much, once she's had time to heal and move on, she's going to be unstoppable."

"I know. I feel like she's finally starting to relax a little, like I'm starting to get to know the real her, not the shell of a person they forced her to be."

"She'll get there Shel" Amy kissed her sister's cheek, "we'll make sure of it. Now…" she stood to her feet and stretched her back, "me and your niece or nephew are getting hungry, where are you taking us for lunch?"